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“Hey here.”
Shin looks up to see who approached him. It rarely happens that people talk to him just like that but perhaps he should have expected that something like this would happen at an event like this.
The guy has a friendly face or maybe Shin believes so because he’s smiling because once he takes a closer look at him, he realises that he actually doesn’t look that friendly. He wants to look friendly but his eyes are unsettling. They’re… empty. No, it’s not just that. They seem somewhat dead, like they’re not even real. There’s no hint of life.
A shiver runs down his spine and Shin squeezes his eyes shut as painful disturbing memories return to him; Memories of a friend who has been long gone but never loosened his grip on him. It is as if he was still with him, like a ghost; An invisible man keeping one hand around his throat and one around his heart.
The stranger doesn’t seem to bother caring about Shin‘s distress, even if it’s hard to miss that his hands are shaking and his face loses its colour as sweat rolls down his temple. He brings one hand up to his forehead to quickly pretend that it’s just the warmth of the sun that’s bothering him.
“Wrong outfit for this weather,” the man comments and chuckles. “You don’t look good. Maybe take off your beanie or the scarf, if it’s too hot—”
“No!” Shin interrupts him, takes a deep breath and finally regains his composure. “It’s fine. It‘s not that hot.”
Without asking for permission, the stranger sits down next to Shin and points at the scarf. “I get it! I get it. That’s a good one.”
What is happening right now?
“Hiy—Here‘s… uh. There‘s so many people here. What do you want? Can I help you with something?”
Hiy… what? What was he going to say?
Hiyori?
Shin‘s hands, which are resting on his thighs now, stop shaking and instead tense up. His nails dig into his skin, hard enough to hurt him through the fabric of his pants.
His voice… his behaviour… even the way he moves… Everything is so painfully similar to Hiyori, his friend. His…. whatever they were.
Everything but his appearance. Hiyori may have had similarly unsettling eyes but when they first met, they were still alive. It’s true that over time that seemed to change. However, why would Hiyori suddenly disappear, only to then show up as a stranger at a board game event?
Could he do it? Hiyori could do anything.
Would he do it? To torment him, maybe.
But would he really do it or is this…
Is this just…what Shin wants ?
To see him again one more time, ask him why he’d suddenly leave him behind…
“I want to participate in the event but I don’t have anyone to play with me. I saw that you’re sitting here alone so I thought you might be in the same situation. What do you say? Do you want to team up with me?”
Shin lets out a relieved sigh and relaxes his hands. It’s just another loner. Just a harmless lonely guy, who really wants to play board games with someone.
Of course it’s not Hiyori.
Hiyori would never participate in such a stupid event for no reason. Hiyori wouldn‘t dress like this either. He would never wear silly animal shirts and sporty caps.
“Sure,” Shin finally agrees to the proposal. “I don’t mind. Let’s sign up.”
The stranger grins at him from ear to ear and suddenly rubs his shoulder. “Amazing. I‘m sure it’s going to be fun but before that, can I show you a magic trick?”
He doesn’t have time to think about the unprompted physical contact because Shin‘s mind is somewhere else again. Hiyori also used to show him ‘ magic tricks’ and usually they were weird or outright disturbing. Sometimes… they were funny, though. So he wants to know how this one goes: “Go ahead…?”
“Alright. Spell your name in your head at any pace and I will guess what it is.”
Huh? Does that really work? Can you read what letters someone is thinking of?
Hiyori has read his mind before but usually to expose Shin and tease him for thinking about embarrassing stuff.
“Okay,” he agrees and starts spelling his name in his mind.
T - S - U - K - I - M - I — S - H - I - N
For a few seconds there is silence and the man simply keeps eye contact with him. Shin shifts around in his seat, unable to deal with this situation without feeling slight discomfort. What if it works…
“Sou—oooo your name is Shin?”
His mind must be messing with him now because there is no way Shin heard what he believes he heard. Did he say Sou? or just So? What is up with this guy? Should he be scared? Or maybe Shin is asleep and this is a nightmare in which Hiyori is pretending to be an unknown person but truly came to the board game event to mess with him.
If it’s the latter, the Shin wants to wake up.
Hiyori Sou is gone. The real one, that is. He will never return. In his heart, he knows that.
“Mmh. I‘m Shin. What’s your name?”
The man gets up from the seat at the table, ready to go sign them up as a team for the competition.
“Just call me Midori, Shin.”
Playing with Midori is much more fun than expected. Before they play against others, they have some matches just between themselves and he teaches Shin all kinds of tricks and bluffs.
Shin can’t help but feel like the past has returned. It is like Hiyori is really with him again. If he closes his eyes, he can imagine his friend sitting in front of him, dressed in his fancy suit as always, his messy green hair tied into a little ponytail… It’s too good to be true. Instead of Hiyori, there is this Midori guy in his strange outfit. The cap he wears is blue, which isn’t strange on its own. What makes it weird is that the dolphin on his shirt is also wearing a cap. Shin wonders if Midori thinks that he’s hilarious for matching with the animal on his clothes.
Hiyori may have been somewhat of a weirdo too but his humour was better than his.
He gets dragged out of his thoughts when Midori starts snapping his fingers in front of his face. “Shin. Pay attention. Always.”
Shin nods, not taking it too seriously because this is just a board game. It’s for fun. They’re not even betting their own real money but coins made for the game.
Speaking of those, Midori… stole half of his. Shin was about to win—
“See? Keep an eye on your possessions. Never let your opponents get their hands on something that is supposed to be yours.”
“You’re right. Let’s continue—”
“Wait,” Midori interrupts him. “I want to know what you were thinking about.”
What should he say? You remind me of someone I liked? Someone important? How would Shin even phrase it when he himself doesn’t know what it is that he’s feeling. He isn’t even sure that he misses Hiyori. All he knows is that sometimes he wants him to come back and sometimes he loves how normal his life is again.
“It’s nothing. I had a friend who was a bit like you, you know. That’s all.”
Midori doesn’t press the issue, thankfully. They start another round of the game and with that another lesson. This time it’s about their communication during the match. It seems like he really wants to win.
“When I want you to raise the bet, I‘ll give you a light squeeze. Like this…”
Shin flinches when he feels the hand of his new friend on his thigh. He’s not used to being touched like this and he shouldn’t feel good right now, considering that they just met and Midori‘s overall behaviour has been quite questionable.
But…
He closes his eyes for a brief moment.
Hiyori used to touch him like this…
“And if I want you to fold, then I‘ll step on your foot,” Midori continues and does exactly what he said, stepping on Shin‘s foot, harder than necessary.
It completely ruins the little daydream he was just going through. It also hurt but maybe that‘s for the best. It’s not fair to Midori that Shin uses him to fill that hole in his heart that Hiyori left and never intended to patch up again.
“Got it. Pinch for raise, step for fold. Okay.”
And so it begins.
Shin and Midori take on whoever they find.
Their matches go surprisingly well. Midori makes a lot of smart moves, often confuses their opponents and reads Shin very well as he is able to tell whenever he has a good or bad hand. Shin trusts his decisions and bets on whatever cards Midori wants him to, folds whenever he wants him to.
They make a good team. No one sees through their strategies. Probably because no one expects them to take this board game event so seriously. There is nothing special to win, after all. If it was about real money, then Shin would understand Midori‘s dedication to the game.
And yet, he doesn’t mind giving it his all.
It’s fun.
The last time he had so much fun with someone was when Hiyori was still there.
“Aw, what a cute shirt! I love dolphins!”, their next opponent comments on Midori‘s outfit. The other girl joins her. Shin doesn’t get the hype but to each their own. If they knew what kind of stuff he liked, they would also not get it. He’s used to being odd.
Hiyori always warned him of this; That no one else would ever understand him… that only he understands Shin and loves him for what he is. Only Hiyori matches him.
Today, Shin is doubting those words for the first time.
“Hahaha I love them too. Humans seem to feel drawn to them and feel the need to trust them, even though they’re brutal killers who murder other animals just for fun! They can also kill each other and their babies, if they have the right reasons for it!”
“Whaaat?”
“That’s not true. I heard they’re super friendly so I‘m sure they’d never hurt anyone.”
Midori laughs out loud and tilts his head while staring at the girls in front of them. “Did your parents not teach you that the ‘nice’ ones are usually the bad guys?”
Shin‘s heart skips a beat. What Midori said just now… that sounds an awful lot like something Hiyori would tell him. On the other hand, it makes Midori seem even more suspicious because he is also acting like some kind of predator.
But Shin is definitely not getting murdered in the middle of the day at a public board game event by a guy in a dolphin shirt.
That would never happen.
They win the match against the two girls as well. Midori gives him a few pats on the back as he tells him how good he has become at the game already.
The praise feels nice but Hiyori would never praise him without asking for something weird in return or adding a hidden insult. Shin waits for something but… nothing of the sort is said. Midori does add something though:
“See, Shin? We’re an incredible pair.”
He nods and does something he usually wouldn’t do. Shin initiates physical contact. He reaches his arm around Midori to give him an awkward half hug and smiles. “I‘m really glad you asked me to team up!”
But their winning streak should soon end. They sit down at the table of two highschoolers, their next opponents. The boy is very chatty and immediately starts a conversation with Midori. The girl seems to be on the edge of her seat.
Looks like Midori isn’t the only one who is taking this game a bit too seriously.
“I’m Joe. This is my best friend Sara!”
“Hey,” she says. “Good luck trying to beat us. We’re on a roll today!”
“Haha, is that so? My partner Shin and I are not like your everyday enemies though. Do not underestimate our teamwork.”
Shin doesn’t add anything to that but knowing that Midori is confident in winning and puts a lot of trust into his capabilities and their teamwork makes him feel great.
If only he could have given him what he wanted.
Shin‘s cards are terrible this time. The best thing he could get is a pair in the last round, high value even. The other team has more coins then them so it is now or never. Shin wants to win with this pair, as this pair with Midori.
He goes all out and bets all his remaining coins. Midori gently caresses his leg. Shin hopes this means that he did the right thing.
Joe folds after Midori matches the bet but Sara does not yield.
The moment of truth arrives. Just like Shin, Midori has a pair with a pretty high value…
but Sara has another strong trio.
She jumps out of her seat, claps excitedly and Joe cheers her on. “Nothing but trios!!”
“Waaaaaagh!!” Shin can’t believe his eyes and holds his head in his hands. How could this happen? They did everything right. They have come so far and now they lose against… what…?
Luck?
“Awesome! Let’s go, Sara!!”
The two highschoolers leave, smiling like they already won the whole competition. Sure, Shin and Midori gave them a hard time in the first few rounds but Sara got at least three trios. How?
Shin doesn’t dare to say anything. He’s deeply disappointed. Sure, until now he kept internally judging everyone for getting so excited over this silly game but in the end, he too got lost in it. Or maybe he is simply upset because deep down he knew from the start that as soon as they lose, Midori will leave and then Shin will be alone again. The fun will be over. Again .
“Did you see that, Shin?” Midori asks in a voice that makes him nervous. He doesn’t sound angry, though slightly upset. However, there is a hint of something else. Something Shin cannot identify. “We could have won.”
“I guess…?”
“It could have been us. Us, Shin, We could have won” he repeats and gets up. Shin raises his head to look at him, brows furrowed in confusion but eyes full of disappointment.
“There‘s always luck involved in these…”
But Shin can’t lighten the mood, no matter what he says. Midori doesn’t look at him anymore, only keeps his eyes on some point in the distance. He gently tugs on the scarf that is still around Shin‘s neck, huffs and starts walking away.
“Maybe another time. In another life.”
Shin jumps up. He can’t just leave like that, can he? He doesn’t know anything about Midori. If he lets him leave now, they will never meet again and just like Hiyori, he will disappear into the distance and never return.
“Midori, come on. We can still play!”
“You can, Shin. You will. But not with me.”
“What…? What do you mean?!”
“And you will lose again.”
“What are you talking about?”
Shin stands still. He doesn’t follow him. At first, he wanted to do it but something inside of him prevented his body from moving. Things will never go his way anyway. Hiyori knew it. Midori knows it.
He can’t win. Shin is useless, isn’t he?
“I‘m sure Hiyori Sou could have won with you, Shin… not Midori though. Midori can‘t win. Neither can you on your own.”
Hiyori?!
“How do you know Hiyori? Who are you?!”
Midori turns around to face him. No matter how many metres they are apart, that creepy smile of Hiyori Sou is so engraved into his brain, Shin would always be able to recognize it.
“Don’t forget the lessons I taught you~ The next card game you’ll be playing doesn’t come with cute animal pictures!”