Work Text:
Everything had been going rather peacefully for Poe. Well, almost peacefully, anyways. If he ignored the fact that he had stayed up late into the night to write a new, different kind of mystery for Ranpo to solve. He shuddered when he thought about the events of the previous night. “Ooo Poe-Kun has a crush~! Wonder who it could be? Hey, why don’t you write me a novel to figure it out?” He’d learned then that perhaps taking Ranpo to get caffeinated beverages at night was not the brightest plan.
Of course, that didn’t mean he planned on stopping any time soon. But that would be a problem for future Poe to worry about. So, at Ranpo’s behest, he had written a novel to trap Ranpo in. And of course, the mystery to solve was that of Poe’s crush. The only problem was, Ranpo was the crush.
Poe didn’t actually mind the idea of telling Ranpo how he felt. Even if the detective didn’t feel the same, Poe knew he wouldn’t make things weird between them. No, his concern was that Ranpo wouldn’t figure it out. Despite his remarkable deduction abilities and high intelligence, Ranpo was incredibly dense. So dense that Poe’s crush had been ongoing for years and he had yet to notice.
To combat this dilemma, he made sure the novel included a set of clues that he could check as time passed. Assuming he could get over his pride and accept the help, of course. Worst case scenario, Poe would have to find Dazai to undo his gift.
“Poe-Kun~” a chipper voice shook him from his thoughts. He hadn’t noticed Ranpo’s approach, and the detective's sudden appearance startled him quite a bit. “My bad.” Ranpo chuckled. “Whatcha working on?” He hovered over Poe’s shoulder, much too close for comfort. Poe could feel his messy black hair tickling the side of his face as Ranpo invaded his personal space.
“The book you requested.” Poe answered concisely.
“Oh fancy- this should be a piece of cake!” Ranpo exclaimed much too confidently.
Poe merely gave him a soft smile as he passed the book over. “I wouldn’t get too ahead of yourself.” he said quietly.
“You dare doubt the skills of the infamous Ranpo?”
“Famous.” Poe corrected.
“Bah- details!” Ranpo scoffed.
Poe’s heart fluttered. Ranpo was rather adorable when he was talking back. He waved away his thoughts and turned his attention back to Ranpo, who was presently occupied with Karl. The raccoon was futilely attempting to grab a chip or two from the bag Ranpo was currently snacking on. Cute.
“Ah, Ranpo-kun,” Poe remembered, “You’ll have eight hours to figure it out. After that, I will ask Dazai-kun to undo my ability and bring you back.
Ranpo tossed a chip into his mouth before saying, “It won’t take me that long.”
Poe just smiled. He was certain Ranpo would take most of, if not the full eight hours. “Of course not.” He said instead. “Good luck.”
Ranpo finished the last few chips, crumpled the bag and tossed it at Karl, then opened the book and was promptly whisked away in a flash of golden light.
***
The first thing Ranpo did was assess his surroundings. Frankly, everything seemed much less elaborate than Poe’s usual novels. Of course, this mystery was completely different from the ones he normally solved.
The space he was in was just a single room. Despite having no doors or windows, the room felt safe and comfortable… or perhaps, Ranpo simply trusted Poe enough that the lack of a visible escape route didn’t bother him.
Close to one wall was a couch identical to the one in front of the TV in Poe’s bedroom. It even had indents where the weight of their bodies pressed into the cushions on nights that they fell asleep watching movies. (Just because Ranpo could figure out the whole plot within the first few minutes didn’t mean they weren’t still entertaining.)
In front of the couch was a large wooden table. Covering nearly the entire surface were an assortment of snacks. Chips, crackers, cakes, sweet breads, and all of Ranpo’s favourite treats were packed densely on the table.
Ranpo’s heart squeezed momentarily. After all, Poe had spent precious time writing in all these minute details to ensure maximum comfort for Ranpo. It almost felt like a waste knowing he would be out in a jiff.
Across from the couch and table, there was a blackboard and a couple pieces of chalk. Poe must have figured Ranpo would want to take notes. Taped to the blackboard was an orange manila envelope with a note attached to the front. Ranpo pulled it from the board and read the note.
In Poe’s unmistakably neat handwriting, the note read:
My dearest rival, although I fully trust your abilities as a detective, I have a
feeling this mystery will not be so easily solved. As such, I have enclosed in this
envelope four clues and the answer. Only use them if you are absolutely stuck.
Best of luck, Poe.
Ranpo’s initial urge was to toss the envelope aside– There was no way he would need the clues to help him solve the mystery. But when he thought about how much extra work Poe must have put in to make the notes, he just set it on the couch and turned to the blackboard.
He grabbed a piece of chalk so he could keep track of his thoughts, and began writing out a list.
The most logical first step was to write out the Guild members. Poe didn’t have many friends other than Ranpo and Mushitaro, but Ranpo was fairly confident he had spent a long time around the other members of the Guild.
He wrote out all the members he was aware of thus far, and began narrowing them down from there. Lucy and Louisa were probably Poe’s closest friends, excluding Ranpo of course, but it was clear he viewed them as family rather than potential lovers. He crossed them out.
Margaret was clearly in love with Nathaniel, and Ranpo deemed it unlikely that Poe would waste his affections on someone already taken. Additionally, Margaret was rather haughty, and Poe would likely feel anxious in her presence. Nathaniel was smart and composed, and Poe probably would get along with him well, but he returned Margaret’s affections. Ranpo crossed them both out.
Herman was rather old and didn’t seem all that interested in pursuing a relationship with anyone anyways. Ranpo crossed him out.
Fitzgerald and Poe seemed to have little in common, and Poe had even said he disliked working for him. Not to mention Fitzgerald was a married man. Ranpo crossed him out.
Ranpo stared hard at his list. The only people left were Twain, Steinbeck and Lovecraft. As far as Ranpo knew, Poe barely knew any of them. He sighed and crossed them off.
For the first time in his life, Ranpo was dumbfounded. Not only had he already been in the book for nearly an hour and a half, he had made no progress.
Not quite ready to admit defeat, he went over the list one more time to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. When the clock in the corner signalled the end of the hour, he sighed and reached for the envelope. Perhaps he would be using a clue or two after all.
He reluctantly opened the envelope and pulled out the paper labelled “Clue #1.” He unfolded it and read:
They are not from the Guild.
At least he knew he hadn’t missed anything. He set the envelope aside again, and went back to the blackboard, wiping off the list he had written out earlier. As he munched on some of the snacks Poe had left him, he began writing a list of Port Mafia members. He didn’t know everything Poe did in his free time, maybe he was close with someone there?
Or at least, that was how he tried to rationalise the apparent mental block he had hit. He honestly wasn’t sure why this was so difficult. If he didn’t know any better, he’d guess that maybe he didn’t actually want to know who Poe harboured feelings for. The thought only irritated him further.
He quickly got to work crossing off names. Kyu, Elise, Gin, and Tachihara were children and teens. Mori and Hirotsu were quite a bit older. That left Akutagawa, Kajii, Chuuya, Ozaki, and Higuchi.
He quickly crossed off Akutagawa and Higuchi. Higuchi was hopelessly in love with Akutagawa, and Akutagawa seemed to have his eye on a certain weretiger. Honestly, that whole situation was annoying.
Then he crossed out Kajii. There was just no way anyone could see anything in a guy obsessed with lemon explosives.
Chuuya was the next to go. He and Dazai had been dancing around their painfully obvious feelings for each other for years. Even Poe had figured it out rather quickly and told Ranpo as much.
Defeated, Ranpo crossed out Ozaki. She was cold and serious, and Poe would probably just find her intimidating.
He sank onto the couch, feeling both disappointment at his own inability to solve such a seemingly simple mystery, and an odd sense of relief that he hadn’t guessed the right person yet. Ranpo certainly didn’t like any of the people he had guessed so far, and Poe deserved only the best.
After taking a short break to snack and recharge his brain, he glanced at the clock. Four hours had passed already. He pulled the second clue out.
They are not from the Port Mafia.
Confidence in his abilities partially restored, Ranpo got back to work. This time, he listed out anyone outside of a gifted organisation. That included Mushitaro, various cafe staff, store clerks– anyone he had seen Poe friendly with. This list was much harder to narrow down since Ranpo didn’t know much about most of these people. After somewhere around an hour and a half, Ranpo abandoned the list and reached for another clue.
Although he was sure he would get there eventually, not having figured the answer out yet was making him anxious. To top it off, he had the strangest feeling in his stomach. He wanted to know the answer now more than ever, but there was some part of him that seemed against it. The idea of Poe going on dates with some mystery person, maybe even holding hands with them or kissing, or– Stop . Ranpo thought. He felt sick.
He took a few deep breaths before unfolding the third clue.
You know them very well.
Well, that nullified the rest of his list. He wiped the board clean and began writing out the people he knew best. The Armed Detective Agency.
The first off the list were the teenagers– Atsushi, Kyouka, Junichiro, and Kenji. The next to go was Fukuzawa. Not taking his age into account, the thought of Ranpo’s sorta-dad and best friend kissing was enough to make him queasy.
He crossed himself off too, even if that traitorous part of his brain didn’t want to. Sure, he and Poe were close, and he certainly knew himself very well, but he doubted Poe could ever think of him as more than friends. Especially when Ranpo so openly took advantage of his wealth to feast on snacks.
With only Dazai, Katai, Kunikida, and Yosano remaining, Ranpo was beginning to feel a new wave of discouragement. He crossed out Dazai, Katai, and Yosano.
Dazai and Chuuya were questionable, Katai left his house even less than Poe, and Ranpo knew for a fact that Poe was scared of Yosano.
Which left Kunikida. He knew Kunikida and Poe got along okay. Poe had even helped rescue Kunikida despite knowing it could condemn him as a criminal accomplice during the hell that had been the situation with the Decay of the Angels. Kunikida had strong ideals, but he was certainly a good man. So it must be him.
Ranpo was happy for him, really. Kunikida was a worthy target for Poe’s affections, and he was sure Kunikida would eventually realise how amazing Poe was.
Then why did he feel so uneasy?
Pushing any doubts aside, Ranpo affirmed in his mind that it was Kunikida. It had to be. He screwed his eyes shut, expecting to feel the dizzying sensation of being pulled out of Poe’s book. But nothing happened, and he opened his eyes to the same room. The clock chimed again. Seven hours had passed.
Thoroughly stumped and frustrated, Ranpo returned to the envelope and pulled the final clue free.
They are from the Armed Detective Agency.
He laughed. So if it wasn’t Kunikida, who was it? Yosano? Maybe the fright was just a show he put on to keep people from figuring out how he felt about her. Or maybe it really was Dazai, feelings for Chuuya be damned. Maybe it was Ranpo after all.
He laughed. As if. And then he stopped. Unless…
He felt something in him warm up at the thought. What if it really was him? Could it be possible? He began making a quick note of any evidence that might confirm that could be the case. For starters, he had stayed up all night writing a novel just because of a throwaway comment Ranpo had made in his sleep deprived caffeine mania the night before. He had gone to painstaking effort to include anything that might make Ranpo more comfortable, and had included clues knowing full well Ranpo would be stumped. He spent more time with Ranpo than anyone else, and he was always willing to help Ranpo with whatever he needed, even at the expense of his own plans. Not to mention, he had helped save the ADA, written novels to house them, and provided a home for Mushitaro all because Ranpo had asked him to.
The warm feeling in Ranpo’s stomach continued to grow as something clicked and he finally identified the feeling he had had for months. I have a crush on Poe. He realised. Which only complicated this more. Maybe I’m delusional. Maybe I’m making up evidence for why I might be the one Poe likes because I want that to be the case. Maybe I overlooked some crucial evidence pointing to someone else because I don’t want to know the answer if the answer is anyone but me.
Of course, he did have a way to confirm or deny his answer. With a tiny flicker of hope burning in his chest, Ranpo unfolded the final piece of paper, the answer written clearly in Poe’s neat handwriting.
It’s you, Ranpo.
Oh. Oh.
Ranpo felt momentarily dizzy as he was whisked out of Poe’s book. His first thought was that he must have been dreaming. He had sat on the couch earlier, so maybe he had fallen asleep. Dazai must have pulled him out. Because there was no way he was the one Poe had liked for so long.
But when he opened his eyes and saw only Poe and Karl, he knew that wasn’t the case.
It really is… “Me?” he whispered.
Poe’s violet eye, currently peeking out from his bangs, glanced away. “Indeed,” he murmured.
“Why me?” Ranpo asked.
Poe shrugged. “Perhaps because you are the only one that truly understands me. It’s like you always say. Everyone else in the world is an idiot. You are the only one who could possibly solve my mysteries.”
Unwilling to let the praise end so soon, Ranpo asked coyly, “I bet it helps that I’m cute, huh?”
Poe’s pale skin flushed an impossibly vibrant shade of red, and he stuttered unintelligibly before managing to squeak out, “I suppose that would help, yes.”
Ranpo hadn’t expected Poe to actually agree, and his own face suddenly grew warm. “Don’t you want to know how I feel about this?” Ranpo asked suddenly, seriously.
Poe ceased his flustered babbling, and fixed his violet grey eye on Ranpo. His gaze was so intense that Ranpo felt he might simply burn up under it.
So he can be cute and hot. He shoved the thought aside and let his green eyes meet Poe’s gaze.
He took a few quiet steps forward and stood in front of Poe, merely looking him up and down and taking in every detail he could. There was a sort of eagerness in his gaze hinting that he expected a positive response. But the tautness in his jaw and the rigidity of his shoulders gave away his nervousness.
He’s beautiful . Ranpo thought. He pushed onto his tiptoes and grabbed Poe’s shoulders. “May I?” he asked.
Poe nodded and leaned down, acknowledging his height.
Ranpo closed the distance, landing a brief kiss on Poe’s soft lips.
Despite being brief, the kiss successfully conveyed all of his affections to the perceptive Poe, and vice versa. No words were spoken as they kissed a second time. And a third. And a fourth, fifth, sixth. All pure, and brief, and affectionate.
Ranpo gave Poe a soft smile, and the American returned it. Somewhere in a neighbouring room, a thud indicated Karl knocking something over on his search for snacks. He had gotten bored and gone on a hunt for something more entertaining.
Poe averted his gaze bashfully, and held Ranpo’s hands in his own. “Would you like to stay the night? We can order dinner and watch a movie.” He spoke softly.
“Only if I can kiss you again.” Ranpo grinned cheekily as Poe’s face reddened once more, his hands suddenly burning in Ranpo’s grasp.
“S-sure.” He stuttered.
They spent the rest of the night snuggled up under a blanket on Poe’s couch, exchanging kisses and watching movies with predictable plots until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Ranpo had never been happier.