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Ashley never really liked seeing Andrew and Julia together, she hated the idea that she was no longer a priority, despising the idea that some hussie dared to take away her precious brother. She couldn’t put her finger on where exactly those feelings had changed. There were times where she caught herself thinking that her pushover of a brother didn’t deserve Julia, times where she felt a weird pang of guilt after sending yet another voicemail to her. Ashley thought she was going crazy, for the first time having sleepless nights trying to decipher her own thoughts, oscillating between the possesion over her brother and the newfound spell Julia had somehow put over her. She started hating them both the same way, but also fighting for recognition and attention in her own twisted way, with Julia it was spouting venom like she was used and with Andrew it was trying to tear him away from her, but both of these options got her absolutely nowhere.
Maybe it was the anger she held over the fact that she had befriended Julia first, she weirdly wanted to be the only friend in Julia’s life. Before that hussie stole Andy away from her, Ashley was her friend and she had to admit it was nice; Julia was always passive and caring, the first person other than Andy to notice when she was ill and the only girl to ever partner up with her in those silly class projects other than a certain brother stealer.. LeyLey had loved feeling important to somebody, especially when the long haired girl came to her all sad and alone after _ _ _ _ choked.
Ashley had found herself flipping out on Andy, getting in his face over spending time with Julia lately, but not in the usual way. In a way that without her knowing showed a lot to her older brother, the way she told him that he didn’t deserve Julia- The way she had screamed that she had been hers first, in the same way she left those voicemails to Julia; she’d found herself questioning her thought process when this happened because it was difficult to figure oht why she was thinking this way. The conflict in her mind was eating her alive, her longing for the long haired girl mixing with the resentment. The anger towards her brother for taking her but also the obsession with keeping her brother to herself. It was driving her crazy, maybe that's why she was here, maybe that's why she had snuck into Julia’s bedroom knowing that she was with Andrew; sat in her closet quiet as a mouse. Ashley had no idea what she wanted to do here, she wanted to kill Julia for thinking that she was somehow better than her, she wanted to prove that she was better than Andrew…
So when she heard the bedroom door creak open, the shuffling of shoes being kicked off and a long tired yawn emanating from the doorway, she froze. Just watching through the slightest gap between the doors, before her mind was made up. In a split second when Julia came into full view, she pounced, the wardrobe doors flying open as the other girl was tackled to the ground.
“What the-“ Julia had gasped out, hitting the floor with a hard thud, locking eyes with the black haired girl on top of her “Ashley!”
Ashley found herself looming over Julia, quickly making use of her advantage and grabbing at her wrists, long nails digging in.
“HOW COULD YOU?!” A maybe too loud shout spilled from Ashley, watching a momentary expression of shock-maybe fear flashing across Julia’s face “He was MINE! YOU stole him awa-“
The words never got the opportunity to leave her mouth before she found the air knocked right out of her, Ashley didn’t even have time to acknowledge what was even happening before she was flipped onto her back and suddenly the roles were reversed- Wait- How-
“What- What the fuck Ashley?!” Julia glared down at her, even if you could see the fear in her eyes from a mile away. Not even dignified with a response before Ashley was flailing, kicking to try get out from under Julia, to no real avail.
When did Julia get so strong…
“Do you think you’re better than me?! Get OFF!”
Ashley only continued to struggle, shouting out profanities and insults until she tired, realising there was no way out of this position. Being held down by her ex-childhood friend. Her mind was running a million miles per hour, her struggling died down and she found herself staring up at the girl who had overpowered her.
“Ashley. Why are you here?” Julia asked, oddly calm given the situation, almost sounding over Ashley’s tantrum.
Honestly? Ashley doesn’t know, it was late, before this she was in the midst of tearing apart her and Andy’s shared room. It was almost autopilot- not that she hadn’t broken in before, but usually it was to spy, snoop around, never to do what she had today-
“YOU- you ruined everything!- You stole him away from me- you were MY friend!” She shouted out, her voice breaking ever so slightly- since when did Ashley get emotional over this. “What’s so good about him anyway!”
Julia was stunned for a moment, a loss for words, and Ashley just kept going.
“Was I not good enough for any of you- What’s so bad about ME!” Her eyes stung, staring up into Julia’s admittedly beautiful eyes, when did Julia start looking so pretty.. She noticed Julia’s grip loosen slightly.
“Are you going to say anything?! Or are you going to just go back running to-“
“Ashley calm down.” Her soft voice cut through Ashley’s borderline-cries.
For once in her life, Ashley couldn’t help but silence herself, squirming to free her arms; wanting to rub away those ugly tears ruining her mascara- It’s pathetic getting like this over that seductress- god even her sick love spell was rubbing off on her.
“Mine and your brother’s relationship doesn’t mean i don’t car-“
“LIAR!” Ashleys high pitched yell wouldn’t even let her finished- How dare she try and lie to her- How dare she insinuate it hadn’t changed anything “You’re a dirty liar- you always have-“
Julia was forced to tighten her grip as Ashley started to thrash around again, before adjusting to clamp her hand over Ashley’s mouth just to give herself an opportunity to speak.
“Ashley, i’m not lying- You- God you can be difficult sometimes” Julia sighed under her breath, even with this grasp on Ashley she was careful not to hurt the smaller woman. If Ashley wasn’t so dense she’d notice the fondness in Julia’s gaze, noticed the way her voice softened while she looked at Ashley’s tear stricken face. “You are more than good enough- Nobody chose anyone over you, please just listen to me Ash.”
A soft sound came from behind Julia’s mouth, a muffled sob almost, she couldn’t even tell if she was being lied to- Why was this getting to her so much- Why did she want Julia to hold her instead of being pinned down like this. Yet nothing happened, Julia just hovered over her, looking down at her almost waiting to see if Ashley would try anything before once again loosening her grip on the pink-eyed mess below her. A sad smile settled itself on Julia’s face, an expression too gentle for the situation.
“We can be friends, Ash, you just have to learn how to.” She smiled, honestly those words felt like a stab into Ashley’s heart, it was then she realised she didn’t want a friend-
She wanted Julia like Andrew had her- She wanted them both like they had each other and she hated that. It was then that Julia allowed her the ability to speak and another sob came from Ashley as she squirmed to get her wrists free from Julia’s oddly strong grasp.
“I dont want- I dont-“ She stammered, unable to get the words out, she felt stupid being like this; breaking down like this. She’s never truly cried in front of someone, not even Andrew had seen her like this.
“Breathe Ash, just take a breath and tell me what you mean.” Julia almost whispered to her, coming to rest a hand against Ashley’s cheek, eyes full of a fondness she’d only seen on Andrew when they were young.
And Ashley listened, she tried to get herself under control, beating herself up in her head until she could manage to get the words out. “I don't want to be friends- I want what Andrew has!” The words just tumbled out before she could even think about it, but it was true. Julia didn’t even look surprised, didn’t even falter and just kept her hand where it was.
“And that’s okay Ash.” Was all she said before Julia was releasing her, sitting back and pulling Ashley up into her arms. Ashley just clung to her, she doesn’t know the last time she was held unless it was spurred on by Andrew’s night terrors, doesn’t remember the last time she was treated so gently by someone other than her Andy. It felt alien to her, it felt wrong but it also felt like it was what she’d wanted forever.
“I don’t know why i’m feeling like this-“ Ashley sniffled, fresh tears rolling down her face that was soon smushed into Julia’s broad shoulder. She really didn’t know, she’d only wanted this with Andrew before, never another man let alone a woman- This was all so overwhelming.
“Shh, it’s okay, you don’t need to know.” Julia whispered, her hair slowly finding itself playing with Ashley’s ponytail. If it weren’t for her and Andrew’s conversations over the past few days she would’ve been shocked to be like this.
No matter how much denial Julia had been in she saw the twisted connection between the siblings and after a heated argument with Andrew she had come to accept her position, it sounds crazy but she knew that she’d never be Andrew’s top priority because that belonged to Ashley and she understood that as there was a time where the neurotic girl was also her top priority even if it was displayed in a much less twisted way; Julia held a certain affection for both the siblings and had always assumed that she’d only be able to get her hands on Andrew as Ashley had always seemed unattainable, off limits even with the way that the older sibling always scared people away that threatened his spot in Ashley’s life. Although recently that had changed, it had started with a gentle push for Andrew to help Ashley find independence, which had turned into a discussion about the way that the girl acted towards Julia only to find out that the possessiveness that the girl had over Andrew had seemingly extended to her over time which came with a realisation amongst the two that something had changed.
After a while of gentle holding, quiet shushing until Ashley’s crying had subsided, the poor girls face was being lifted from its spot in Julia’s shoulder and she was forced to face the other. Ashley for a second felt scared, was this where Julia forced her to leave? Told her brother about what had just taken place? Her thoughts never were able to continue before Julia started speaking.
“Do you think you love me Ash? The way you love Andrew?” She gently questioned, getting nothing but a dumbfounded look from Ashley before the other averted her gaze. “I know how you feel about Andrew, he’s your everything. I just need a bit of clarification.”
“..I want you” Ashley mumbled, fearing the inevitable rejection that she felt brewing, she thinks Julia misunderstood her- Maybe Julia doesn’t realise what she meant earlier.
“I know, but in what way?” Julia prys, despite knowing the answer clear as day, noticing how Ashley started to look irritated at the questioning.
“God are you dumb-“ Ashley snapped momentarily, guilt clawing at her the moment she said it. “I love you- I love him- why else would I be like this.”
“I thought so.” Julia smiled, the words not even phasing her one bit, she was used to Ashley’s abuse and trust me this is tame compared to her usual taunts.
Before Ashley had a moment to respond, her eyes widened, feeling Julia’s soft lips against her own slightly chapped ones. She blinked for a second, before she relaxed, eyes fluttering shut as she melted into the sensation. Her hands moved to Julia’s shoulders- well almost clinging to them as if Julia would pull away in a split second, feeling the other girl’s arms slide in around her waist. The sensations of having someone's lips against her own felt electric- like a spark running through her nervous system, she never wanted to pull away even if she didn't really know what to do. Before Ashley even had time to figure out what she was doing with herself, Julia was pulling away and looking deeply into her eyes. Ashley just stared back, not even knowing what to say or do. Her face was burning hot, cheeks flushed, she’s never felt so flustered and unable to even think as she is in this moment. Her breaths came out unsteadily as she just started into the pools of gold that was Julia’s eyes.
“I love you too, Ash” Julia hummed, leaning her forehead against Ashley’s, her arms remaining where they were around her waist. “We both do”