Chapter Text
The worst thing about having a useless lesbian as your hairstylist was listening to them talk about their crush with no method of escape. Scott just had to sit there patiently as Katherine meticulously applied cyan hair dye to his head while she talked endlessly about Shelby. Scott did his best to simply nod along and provide some input, but when the same comments have been happening for weeks, it was hard to provide good input that she wouldn’t just ignore. It was infuriating sometimes.
“Like … I just don’t understand how someone could physically be that cute?” Katherine sighed as she ran more dye through his hair. “Like did you see her hair? She looks like a ray of sunshine cresting over snowy peaks.”
“Did you happen to do her hair, by chance?” Scott teased. Katherine jabbed him lightly with her elbow at the remark, but she shook her head.
“She must have done it at a salon closer to her house or by herself. Though it looks more salon quality.” Katherine’s face formed a pout for a quick second for turning back to her usual smiley self. “The darker roots are basically hidden and it all looks very even without any blotchy or overdone patches.”
“Katherine, you can’t just talk about hair and try to distract from the real truth here. I think you are slightly jealous that Shelby has another hair stylist.”
“I mean … I do want to be the only person that runs their hands though Shelby’s … Professionally Only Though!”
Scott rolled his eyes.“I would turn around and glare at you if I could, you know that?”
“Yeah, I’m aware.” Katherine leaned down and whispered in his ear. “Just stop calling me out while I’m at work, would you?”
“Nope.” It was now Katherine’s turn to roll her eyes as Scott stuck his tongue out at her. “Besides, every comment is like mini revenge for all the time I have to hear you pining for Shelby without actually asking her out.”
“She doesn’t like me like that!” Scott didn’t need to turn around to know just how red Katherine’s face was getting. “I mean it, okay? She just sees me as a friend. I’d have more luck asking Joey out then Shelby.”
“Joey’s gay though.”
“Exactly!”
“Listen you don’t know until you try, okay?” Scott pointed out. “The worst she can say is no.”
“No, the worst is her turning me down because she doesn’t like girls that way and now I’ve just poured my heart out to a straight woman and ruined an entire friendship just because I can’t keep my heart in my chest.”
“But Shelby isn’t straight though.”
“You know I meant heteroromantic, okay? Just because she’s ace doesn’t mean she likes me romantically.”
“But she does like you.”
“As a friend.” Katherine added. “Just as a friend.”
Art by Bigb-enthusiast on Tumblr
Scott sighed, resigning himself to his fate of listening to her ramble on with no intentions of moving forward with her feelings. It was an endless cycle of yearning that should have ended several weeks ago. But he normally could deal with that; that wasn’t the infuriating part. The worse part, at least to Scott, was that Shelby was doing the same thing with Katherine.
“Do you think Katherine likes to be the big spoon or little spoon if we cuddle?” Shelby asked. Scott couldn’t see her from where he was in his kitchen, but he figured she hadn’t moved from her earlier spot on the couch.
“I don’t know. You could find out though. By maybe, I don’t know, asking her to cuddle?” He shot back.
“But wouldn't that give off the wrong message?”
“What other message is there, Shelby?! You like her!”
“Yeah but I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have going.” Shelby’s head popped up from the sofa to look at Scott. “It’s weird to ask your friend to platonically cuddle.”
“Shelby, you’ve asked me to platonically cuddle.” He pointed out. Shelby rolled her eyes before disappearing behind the couch again.
“That’s different. You …”
“… were not someone you had an active crush on at the time.” Scott finished. Shelby didn’t reply, proving that he was correct. “Listen, Katherine would love to cuddle with you. Especially because she likes you too.”
“She does not! Not like that! We’re just friends!” Shelby yelled, before dropping her voice to nearly a whisper. “That’s all she’ll ever see me as, anyways.”
“And how do you know that if you never ask her out?!”
“I just know! Girl intuition!”
“Yeah well I have primary sources that contradict your claim so try again.” Scott muttered to himself as he checked on dinner. It needed a couple more minutes.
“What?”
“I said my gaydar calls bull on your girl intuition so try again.”
“You just don’t know her like I do, okay? If I ever ask her out, which I will never, she’ll just tell me she is not looking for a relationship at this time and then it will be awkward because now both our feelings are out there and it won’t be the same anymore and we’ll just stop talking and I might as well just die at that point cause this whole situation is my fault!”
Scott blinked, before walking over and leaning over the couch to look at Shelby. “Is that what your brain is like all the time?”
“Yes.”
“How .. do you deal with all the pain you cause yourself in confusion?”
“20mg Prozac daily.” Shelby smiled.
“Ah.” Scott went back to the kitchen, checking on dinner again. It looked basically done so he pulled it out. “Want to change the subject?”
“Yes please.”
And thus the cycle continued. Perpetually listening to both sides of a future relationship too scared to make a move on the other to avoid change. It was nauseating at times; if he was in this situation he’d just ask the other person. It wasn’t that hard to ask subtle, proving questions about sexuality or crushes. And worst comes to worst, get alcohol involved. Even if the person wasn’t into you, you could just chalk it up to a drunken mistake. That’s what happened between him and Martyn, after all. Scott’s still friends with him. But he’s tried by himself to get Shelby and Katherine together to no success for weeks probably.
He needed backup.
A/N: Putting this at the end so it doesn’t get lost but thank you to BigB-enthusiast on Tumblr for the amazing art! Go give them some love.