Work Text:
Before Kendall left for Harvard, Connor pulled him aside for a chat. They were in the Roy luxury Manhattan townhouse and Connor asked him to step into his bedroom for a private chat. He closed the door and locked it. He didn’t actually want or need somebody to interrupt this. Before Kendall had the time to say anything, Connor invited him to sit down on the bed. He sat down next to him and looked his younger brother into his eyes.
“Listen to me kiddo, I am happy for you that you get out. College is great, I know you’ll love it.”
“Thanks Con. I’m happy too.”
“And it’s great you are doing all that with a friend you know. A good friend even.”
Kendall stared at him and blushed slightly. Connor had never referred to the incident before now. He ignored it and continued:
“But I need you to promise me one thing, ok?”
“Anything.”
“That you will call me.”
“Of course…”
“No, not like that. If something happens, and you are scared and you need someone to get to Boston, you call me. You don’t call anyone else, just me. Ok?”
Kendall seemed surprised but also relieved. He nodded slowly and Connor continued:
“If you call, I won’t ask questions. If you need me to go up to Boston, I’ll be there as soon as possible. And I won’t tell dad. I can’t promise he won’t find out, but I won’t tell him. Understood?”
Connor didn’t think much of it after. He hugged his brother, congratulated him again for getting into Harvard. Then, quickly, the both of them forgot the conversation. The first semester passed uneventfully and then Kendall came back for the winter break. He couldn’t help himself to talk about Harvard all the time, he was wearing a crimson hoodie everywhere with the ‘shift happens’ t-shirt from the Harvard economics department under it. Connor knew because he bragged about it. It was frankly annoying but Connor didn’t complain, contrary to Roman or Shiv. It was so rare to see Kendall happy.
Christmas was rather uneventful, their father spent most of it working and Kendall went back to Cambridge for his second semester on January 2nd. He never called Connor, probably too busy enjoying college life. Good for him. He was out of their father’s grasp, so Connor was quite alright getting no news if he was enjoying this newly found freedom. No news meant good news for him. But only three weeks after the winter break, in the middle of the night, he was woken up by his phone ringing over and over.
Connor looked at the alarm clock: 4.37am. He sighted and picked up.
“You better have a good reason for calling me!”
“Sorry… Kendall told me to call you… It’s… It’s Stewy.”
“Stewy. Where is Kendall?”
He could hear the panic in Stewy’s voice and Connor sat up in his bed. He could hear Stewy stammering at the other end of the line and sobbing. He gently asked again where Kendall was.
“He is in the hospital… Oh god… He… He isn’t doing good. He took too much stuff.”
Stuff meant drugs. Kendall took too much drugs. His baby brother over-dosed. Fuck. Connor asked what hospital and Stewy sobbed:
“You can’t call Logan. Please, don’t call him. Ken begged me not to call him.”
“Hey kiddo. I’m coming over. I won’t tell Logan. What hospital is Kendall at?”
“Mass General.”
“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
After ending the call, Connor considered calling his driver but he knew that their father would know, he would ask questions and had things investigated. And a driver was a witness that he didn’t need in this case. This needed to be as low-key as possible. He had to drive himself. He dressed quickly and took his wallet and the keys to his most recent Range Rover. He also packed a go-bag with 2 outfits change, knowing he would need to stay at least a night or two in Boston. He pulled out of his garage at 5.05am.
On the way up to Boston, he probably broke several laws against reckless driving but he didn’t care. All that matter was to get to Kendall as fast as possible. Kendall was at the hospital. He needed him there.
Connor parked in front of Mass general at 8.56am and ran to the ER and the desk where he said “Kendall Roy” with a breathy and panicked voice. The nurse seemed too calm and that pissed him the hell of.
“I’m sorry sir?”
“Where the hell is Kendall Roy?”
“And you are?”
“Connor!”
He turned and saw Stewy calling for him. He seemed to have aged 10 years since this summer, probably the stress of seeing your best friend overdose on drugs but, at the same time, he looked like the 7 years-old Connor had met more than a decade again; scared of the big bad world. Connor made his way to him, asking what happened. Stewy was shaking his head. He wasn’t well. Probably the guilt mixed with the vodka he could smell on him and whatever illegal drugs he had taken.
“He… He mixed stuff up. It’s all my fault.”
Connor could see he was fighting back tears. He looked scared. Connor put a hand on his shoulder gently, trying to comfort him before asking if he could see Kendall. Stewy nodded and pointed to a door.
He wasn’t ready for the sight he got when he entered the room. He had to stop to take in the sight without breaking. Kendall, his baby brother, whiter than death, lying in a huge hospital bed, looking way too small in it. He wasn’t conscious and was hooked up to machines, an IV in his arm. He made a few steps into the room and heard Stewy close the door behind them, shutting the busy noises of the Emergency Room.
“The doctor said he will be ok. They are keeping him sedated,” explained Stewy. “But I… I didn’t know what to do.”
Of course, a 19 year old seeing his best friend OD could make you lose all logical thinking. But Stewy had done well, called 911 and then called Connor.
“You did good kid. Glad you called me. We have to move him. But you did good,” he reassured him.
The move was done within the two hours. Connor called his PA who arranged a room in some private clinic nearby. He and Stewy followed the ambulance in Connor’s car, not speaking, both of them too worried to even start a conversation.
The new facility was an upscale clinic known to have at heart their patients’ privacy. Connor added himself and Stewy on the visitors list. He signed some paperwork before a nurse took them to the room Kendall was now occupying.
For the next few hours, Stewy and Connor relayed themselves, never leaving Kendall alone, even if he was unconscious, probably unaware of their presence. If one of them was getting coffee, the other would sit on the armchair beside the bed. When Connor went to get a late lunch for the both of them, Stewy stayed in the room. When he came back, he probably opened the door too gently, because he witnessed a heartbreaking sight. Stewy was leaning above Kendall, kissing softly his hair while stroking his cheek, whispering something he couldn’t hear. This was the kind of gesture only a lover could have, not a friend.
Stewy froze when he noticed that Connor was back. He started to stutter, looking for an excuse for his behavior, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Connor felt the need to reassure him.
“Hey kid, it’s ok. Really. You know I know and I won’t tell.”
They ate lunch in the room and kept their vigil. A nurse came a few times to check on Kendall’s constants who finally woke up in mid-afternoon asking for water. Connor immediately went to get someone. A nurse followed him back to the room before a doctor joined them. He and Stewy had to leave the room at that point.
In the corridor, while they waited for the doctor to finish his check-up, Connor noticed that Stewy was avoiding his gaze like he hadn’t before he ‘caught’ him. He was pacing, looking away, sighting loudly but never looking at him. Connor understood of course. Stewy had a front row seat to the Logan Roy shitty parenting show for years. He saw the humiliations, the berating, the slurs… And still he stayed by Ken’s side, as his friend and maybe something more. Maybe there was the fear that now Connor would judge him, or run to tell the world. He hadn’t told anyone when Ken was 16 why would that change? But still, he could understand the fear Stewy had. So Connor tried to reassure him:
“Hey kiddo, I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry about it. Not this or whatever is going on between the two of you. I didn’t tell then, why would tell now?”
Stewy turned to face him, hands in his pockets but still avoided his gaze. He mumbled something about how there was nothing to tell.
“Listen, whatever you and Ken have, it’s between you two. But I won’t tell anyone. Ok?”
Stewy nodded and finally met his gaze briefly. Connor smiled and jokingly said:
“Just know that if you hurt him, I’ll pay people to break your legs and then expensive lawyers will make sure I’ll never go to prison.”
Finally, Stewy looked up and they exchanged a smile. The doctor stepped out of the room, announcing that Kendall was ready to see them. He also told them that he would be ok and would be out of here in a few days. When both him and Stewy came in, he noticed that Kendall stared at him, silently asking the obvious question: did he tell their father.
“Don’t worry kiddo. I drove myself here. Nobody knows I’m here.”
“You know he’ll find out.”
“Then let him find out. But I won’t tell him.”
They stayed with Kendall the whole afternoon, until a nurse told them that he needed rest and that they could come back the following morning. Stewy tried to argue he wanted to stay but Connor could see how tired he was.
“Come on kiddo, I’ll drive you home.”
Connor ruffled Kendall’s hair and kissed his forehead. They exchanged a gaze, nodding to each other, Kendall silently thanking him for being there and Connor showing him how worried he was. He then walked out of the hospital room, letting him and Stewy have a private moment. Before he closed the door, he noticed Stewy bringing Kendall’s hand against his lips to kiss it gently. Connor waited a few minutes in the corridor before Stewy walked out of the hospital room. He followed him to the car, not looking at him, even avoiding his gaze.
In the car, they didn’t spoke. Stewy just gave the address of his and Kendall’s apartment that Connor entered into the navigation system. The electronic voice guided them through Boston’s traffic. Those GPS things were starting to get quite useful. Before Stewy walked out of the car, Connor put his hand on his arm and said:
“Listen, I’ll be at the Four Seasons, if there is anything, call reception, I’ll tell them to patch you through. Even if you just want to talk ok?”
The Four seasons was perfect. Only a five minute drive to the clinic. He told reception not to put anybody through on the phone, except a call from Stewy. As soon as he was in his suite, he kicked off his shoes and lied down on the bed, exhausted. He lied on his back for God knows how long but, despite the exhaustion, he was unable to sleep. His mind kept coming to Kendall lying in that hospital bed, pale, with the IV dripping. For a moment, he couldn’t help himself to think that he had almost lost his baby brother. Yes he was almost 19 but Kendall would always be his baby brother, the one that came into his life after 15 years of being Logan’s only child. And seeing him like that had just broken his heart.
The few days Ken was at the hospital, Connor spent between the Four Season and the clinic. He and Stewy coordinated their visits so that Kendall was never alone. Stewy went to class and Connor was with Kendall, when he was done he would take Connor’s place.
When Kendall was released, both Connor and Stewy were there. Connor drove the two of them to their apartment and when they arrived, they just sat there in the car. Stewy walked out of the car first, sensing there was a conversation about to happen that he didn’t need to be privy to.
“Thanks for being there Con.”
“Of course I was there kiddo. You got me worried for you these last few days.”
“Sorry…”
“Don’t… just Kenny… You know you can call to talk right? If you don’t feel good, you can just call. I told you, I’m there for you.”
Kendall didn’t answer. They sat in silence before he opened the door of the car. They quickly said goodbye, not talking about the many elephants in the room, some being his drug issues and his relationship with Stewy.
The drive back to New York was longer than the way up, more traffic. And also, he didn’t have an incentive to arrive as quickly as possible. For the next few weeks, until spring break, he couldn’t help himself to worry about Kendall. When he saw him for Easter, at the Summer Palace, he looked good, better. He had aced his finals, which put his father in a good mood. Well not good, but less awful.
They never talked about it. But Connor noticed the thankful looks Kendall threw at him and that was enough thanks for him.