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Amidst the biting cold and swirling snowflakes in the now not so-abandonded town of Colter, Abigail emerged from the safety of the cabin and her eyes widened at the sight of a young blonde woman. The warmth of the campfire flickered in both their eyes as they locked onto each other. Sadie Adler, battle-hardened but still bearing the scars of loss, approached the door with the help of Arthur.
The silent understanding between them spoke volumes, transcending words as Abigail took Sadie by the arm and led her inside to rest and wrapped her with the blanket she was using. Sadie’s thankful smile met her caring gaze as other woman rushed over to help providing whatever little food and clothing they had.
***
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the campsite, Sadie admired the sky perched under a tree, she could hear the gang gathered around the fire. Horseshoe Overlook was the perfect spot for catching the sunset. Laughter and chatter filled the air, and Dutch, with a triumphant smile, welcomed Sean back to the fold.
Sadie was still new to this, she didn’t really know these people at all or how to be an outlaw. However, she did feel grateful that they saved and took her in but everything felt like it happened too quickly and mourning her husband, the life they had wasn’t an easy process.
She couldn’t hear herself think as the sounds of the reunion were marked by shared stories of survival, accompanied by the clinking of whiskey bottles. The night echoed with the tunes of a guitar, and the gang celebrated, savoring a momentary reprieve from the hardships of the wild west.
Once the ruckus died down a little, Sadie got up and made her way over to the campfire. Sean and Karen sat giggling to each other, opposite Javier who was still strumming away on the instrument, and a few seconds later they got up to dance. The others seemed to be scattered around camp but from the corner of her eye Sadie spotted Abigail heading towards her and smiled.
“Beautiful sunset, wasn’t it?” she greeted. “Oh, sure” Sadie shrugged and the brown haired girl came closer to her face, which made the blonde hold her breath, and Abigail asked her to dance.
Sadie looked around, she usually didn’t care what people thought but as much as she wanted to, she just couldn’t say yes.
“Dancing is a dangerous game" it came out more antagonising than she intended.
Abigail rolled her eyes, however playfully, then proceeded to sit by the fire. Her brown hair gently flowing with the wind and her cheeks turning a rosy colour from the warmth of the flames.
“Oh” Sadie thought “this is gonna be one of those things” as a longing feeling suddenly overcame her.
Sadie told herself she’s never gonna love again, she’d never meet a man like her husband who treated her fairly and with respect. Unlike Abigail whom had John and could actually feel something for him, for her it was much more difficult.
Although Sadie did love her husband, it was strictly platonic, he was her best friend and marriage was expected of her. It was a pleasure to share the hardships of this world with someone but it never felt right…to be with a man. She only kissed him enough for him not to suspect that doing so made her stomach churn.
She was familiar with the phrase “takes one to know one” and maybe Abigail just wanted her to feel more welcome and have a good time tonight but maybe, Sadie suspected or wished instead that Abigail knew what it felt like to look at another women and feel something different.
Sadie never wanted love just to live a decent life, but now she was waiting for the answer to something she wasn’t even sure how to ask.
***
In the heart of Lemoyne sat Clemens Point surrounded by lush, picturesque landscapes. Tall, moss-covered trees stand proudly, their branches creating a canopy overhead, the campsite, adorned with lanterns and campfires was alive with the sounds of wildlife, frogs croaking in the distance and birds adding a melodic touch to the serene ambiance. All the members of the gang were off doing their thing.
Abigail sat on a log near the water watching Jack play with Sadie sitting beside her. He was a distance away so he couldn’t hear their conversation well…
“Perched in the dark telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear” Abigail recalled the days where she had to turn to prostitution to make money. Like a predator waiting for the kill she was only looking for men would she could gain something from. In a way Sadie could relate to that, she didn’t live in the light that is truthfulness and openness and love. She convinced herself what she had with her husband, that it was love when in reality she was with him for her own personal gain. For Abigail the only difference was they payed for it.
It was clear to Sadie, she was a bandit like her. Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life. Perhaps they could escape, far away from prying eyes. They were already outlaws so how worse could it be to run away and live together in secret? Could that be a possibility? The two women grew closer with each passing day and it’s been weeks since they met.
Sadie never thought she’d meet someone like Abigail, when her husband was killed she didn’t think she’d live past a few days. It was a blessing and a curse. Did getting to live a more authentic life have to cost her best friend? she wondered. Sadie wondered about a lot of things.
The feelings she had for Abigail could be love, they could be the way forward and she knows she’ll pay for it if anyone ever finds out. Even Bill who was a longtime member of the gang had to hide his homosexuality and play it off as a joke, but he’s a man so he’s already seen as a person. Being a woman is hard enough but being known as a lesbian would make things even worse.
A “lesbian”, a word Sadie heard rarely growing up but when she did it meant a woman was hanged for such an act.
Sadie tried to clear her thoughts and bring her attention back to what Abigail was talking about, giving her a reassuring smile to seem as if she didn’t just stop listening.
The skeletons in both their closets plotted hard to fuck this up. Could the gang ever be truly safe? Would their past’s not follow them to the end of the world? The old men that Abigail swindled really did believe she was the one. The O’Driscolls needed to be killed, Sadie would not rest till they were dead.
***
The bustling crowds, narrow streets, diverse population and vibrant atmosphere of Saint Denis captured the essence of a rapidly changing world.
Abigail and Sadie had gone on a supply run from the gang’s newest hideout in Shady Belle. They passed by the enormous houses, they could only wish to ever step inside and the tennis court which was covered up with some tent-like thing. Abigail picked what they need from the lively marketplace while Sadie took on more of a security role. No one seemed to bother them which was good but the ladies lunching had their stories about outlaws like them who passed through town.
Out of nowhere, rain started to spill out of the sky, it was no condition to ride on back to camp so they decided to rent a room in the hotel nearby.
“I’m terribly sorry, ladies, but there is only one room left available.” said the person working the front desk. “That’s fine, it’ll do” Sadie passed him a dollar and they made their way upstairs. As they entered the room, tired from the day, the dim glow of the oil lamp revealed a mix of relief and weariness in their eyes.
The small space was filled with a mirror, wardrobe, bedside table and one double-sized bed. Amidst the creaking sounds of the worn-out floorboards, Sadie broke the silence with a weary smile, "Well, this is a far cry from our camp, ain't it?" Abigail chuckled, "That it is, Sadie. But at least it's a roof over our heads for the night."
As they settled in, the room became a sanctuary from the cold and wet outside. Sadie took off her boots and placed them underneath the bed. They both sat on the edge of the bed and talked, exchanging stories, reminiscing about their time with the Van der Linde gang and the challenges they faced. The weight of their losses was palpable, but in each other's company, there was a shared understanding.
As the night wore on, Sadie and Abigail found themselves enjoying it just being the two of them. The flickering lamp cast a warm glow, highlighting the vulnerability in their eyes. A sense of comfort grew between them and in a moment of silence, something shifted. Sadie looked at the girl in front of her like she never looked at anyone before.
“Sadie…” Abigail began but before she could say anything else their lips were intertwined and her eyes fluttered shut.
Sadie’s heart rate increased to a level she never felt, she let her hand traverse onto Abigail. Her skin was, oh so, silky and soft to touch.
Now she hung from her lips like the Gardens of Babylon.
In that simple hotel room in Saint Denis, they discovered a new part of themselves which was hidden inside for way too long. Despite the cruelty of the world they lived in, this moment was worth cherishing. They stopped to catch their breath and Abigail ran her hand, playfully, through Sadie’s hair causing her cheeks to flush even a deeper pink.
“I'm never gonna love again” the thought returned to Sadie’s mind but this time with a sweetness rather than sadness.