Archive of Our Own

With a frustrated sigh, Barok crumpled the letter and threw it in the wastepaper bin.

Another bothersome letter. They had been growing in frequency over the past month. He supposed it was better than people hating him, but it still annoyed him.

It had been a few months since he had been acquitted and the news from that trial became public. He had feared his reputation sinking after the public found out his own brother had been The Professor, but instead he had been regaled as a hero, being given all the credit for undermining Stronghart. It troubled him at times, but given Naruhodo was no longer in the country, he supposed no one else could take the credit.

“This is the fifth time you’ve done that this week.”

Barok glanced up over at his apprentice, who sat at his desk across the office. After Barok had insisted he get a proper desk, Asogi had finally relented and accepted.

“I suspect I will do it many more times,” Barok replied. “These vile, incessant—“

“Cases you don’t want to take?”

He shook his head. “No. Nothing of the sort.” He sighed. “Personal matters.”

Asogi narrowed his eyes. It seemed he was not satisfied with that answer.

He even hated saying the words. “Marriage proposals.”

Asogi smirked with amusement. “You get that many?”

He did not see what was so funny. “Unfortunately.” He placed a hand on his forehead. “Many wish to marry into the van Zieks family. Many expect me to produce an heir.” He shook his head. “I already have an heir, even if she does not yet know it. There is no need for me to marry.”

Asogi blinked at him. “I suppose being nobility is tough at times.” He tilted his head. “Are you allowed to marry for love?”

He waved a hand at the notion. “I suppose. But I have no desire for such things.”

“So you’ve never had a lover?”

Barok paused. “No. Such things are of no interest to me.” He knew he was… different in that regard. Some thought him cold—even heartless. He expected such a reaction from his apprentice. But instead of showing pity or confusion, Asogi nodded with understanding.

“It's odd how the world expects us all to marry and have children,” Asogi commented. “It is the same in Great Britain and Japan alike. To choose a different life for yourself is like going against the grain.” He nodded toward the wastepaper bin. “It appears the British upper class have an even harder time with that.”

Barok was surprised with the wisdom of his words. “I have told many of how I feel about such things, only to be told in return that I have yet to find the right person. I am growing frustrated with it all.”

Asogi glanced down, his expression distant. “I… understand how you feel.”

“Do you?”

He looked up at Barok. “In my short time here, I’ve gained some... admirers . I’ve turned them all down. I, too, am not interested in such things.”

Barok sat back in his chair, surprised with what he just heard. “You’ve no interest in taking a lover?”

He shook his head. “None at all. As long as I have my friends, I’m happy.”

Barok considered this for a moment. He wasn’t even sure he needed friends, though he did appreciate the few that he had. “It appears we are more alike than one might think.”

Asogi laughed. “It appears so.” He crossed his arms. “Honestly, if Ryunosuke ever gets married… I’m worried it will ruin our friendship.”

Barok shook his head. “I can’t see that happening. Naruhodo seems the type to care for his friends deeply.”

“I suppose so.”

Barok picked up the next letter on his desk, only to find it was yet another marriage proposal. This one even offered a considerable dowry. The whole thing felt like bribery. With another sigh, he crumpled it up.

Asogi laughed. “Another?”

“Another.”

Asogi put a hand on his chin. “I wonder if there’s anything you can do to stop those letters…” He smirked. “What if you replied to each of them? And told them how much you hate the idea of marriage. Then you’ll have a reputation for it.”

Barok sighed. “Much of the nobility already do not think highly of me. If I replied in such a manner, I would completely destroy what remaining reputation I had.”

Asogi shrugged. “At least it would stop the proposals.”

He considered it for a moment.

“Actually…” Asogi smirked. “I have an idea.”

Barok narrowed his eyes.

“What if I replied to them for you?”

Barok sighed, then grabbed the latest crumpled letter from the wastepaper bin. “I suppose it’s worth a try.”

Asogi stood, and then took the crumpled paper from him. His eyes scanned the page, and then he nodded. “Shouldn’t be too bad.”

Barok wasn’t sure if he should be worried or not. He so desperately wanted the letters to stop that he was willing to let Asogi do whatever he wanted.

Asogi smiled once he sat back at his desk. “There are two directions I can take with this.” He sat up straight, holding up a finger. “I could either tell them about all your bad habits, and why you’d make a terrible spouse.”

Barok started to feel a hint of regret.

“Or,” Asogi continued, “I could stress just how uninterested you are in the prospect of marrying this particular woman.” His eyes lit up. “Or perhaps both!”

Barok placed a hand on his forehead. “Asogi, don’t make me regret this.”

Asogi laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you read it before it gets sent.”

Over the next few days, Asogi prepared replies to the annoying proposals. Barok read through each of them, trying to keep in mind the reason he was doing this. It was to ultimately stop the proposals completely. At times, however, it was a bit difficult to get through.

Dear Madam,

As Lord van Zieks’s apprentice, I must warn you about your most recent interest in him as a husband. You see, he would make the most terrible of spouses. He drinks too much wine, he never smiles, he hates physical touch, he is repulsed by the mere thought of happiness, he practices slamming his leg onto his desk at all hours of the day, he spends all his money on chalices that he ends up crushing when he gets angry, he is always grumpy, he never covers his mouth when he sneezes, and he is incapable of maintaining friendships. He is also not handsome in the slightest, and children are scared of his face. I’ve even heard him say that he despises the idea of marriage. He truly is the most miserable of men. Marriage to him would be like living in hell.

For the above reasons, I must ask that you rescind your proposal before you make the gravest of mistakes.

Kindly,

K. Asogi

Barok sighed, then looked up at Asogi, who stood before his desk, smiling. “You certainly… chose some interesting words.”

“I stretched the truth a little, to make you sound worse,” Asogi assured him.

“I can tell you enjoyed yourself,” Barok commented. Perhaps he enjoyed it a bit too much.

“So? Should we send them off?”

He dropped the letter onto his desk. “I suppose it’s worth a try.”

Asogi nodded. “Excellent. I have faith that this will solve your problems.”

Barok could only hope it wouldn’t make things even worse.

Days passed, and Barok continued to get marriage proposal letters. Asogi continued to reply to each with his usual script, which he seemed to take great joy in doing.

One morning a few weeks later, however, Asogi entered the office later than usual. In his hand was some kind of newspaper, and on his face was a wide grin.

“Lord van Zieks!” Asogi said excitedly, approaching his desk. “You must see this article!”

Barok had a bad feeling about what he was about to hear. “Yes?”

Asogi glanced down at the newspaper, barely able to contain his laughter. “It says—“ He chuckled. “The headline says ‘ Lord Barok van Zieks — truly the most miserable of men .’” He was overcome with another bout of laughter.

Barok glared at him. “What?! ”

Asogi continued laughing uncontrollably. In between bouts of laughter, he continued. “The article says—“ he was overtaken by laughter once more. “It says ‘ According to his own apprentice, Lord van Zieks has been described as one of the worst marriage candidates in all of Great Britain. Will the unmarried heir of the van Zieks estate and infamous prosecutor ever find true love? Our sources indicate this cold-hearted bachelor scoffs at the very idea of marriage, and perhaps love itself.’” Asogi smirked. “It goes on to talk about all the bad traits about you that I included in my letters, and even makes up some new ones.” He looked at Barok, smiling with pride. “It seems my idea worked. All of Great Britain thinks you’re a terrible marriage candidate now.”

Barok placed his face in his hands. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He hadn’t expected the gutter press would get involved with his personal affairs. Perhaps now that he was no longer The Reaper, they were growing bolder.

Asogi continued laughing, clearly pleased with the situation.

Barok sighed, looking up at Asogi. “I’m glad you find this so amusing.”

“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” Asogi said. He held up the newspaper. “Now that this is out, you’ll probably never get another marriage proposal for the rest of your life.”

Barok crossed his arms. “And become the laughing stock of London society in the meantime.”

Asogi shrugged. “It’s not like you enjoy socializing with them anyway. And besides, this won’t hurt your reputation as a prosecutor. If anything, it’ll only help.”

Barok sighed, closing his eyes. “I… suppose .”

“I can’t wait to send this to Ryunosuke,” Asogi continued. “He’ll enjoy this a great deal, I think.”

“Don’t make me the laughing stock of Japan as well,” Barok pleaded.

Asogi laughed again. “Don’t worry, I don’t think Ryunosuke will share it with anyone.”

Barok placed a hand over his face, taking a moment to consider everything. He supposed it would be good to be done with those annoying marriage proposals. And it was likely most people already saw him as cold-hearted. Perhaps the damage wouldn’t be as great as he initially thought. “I suppose this is all for the best.”

“Exactly!” Asogi replied, moving toward his desk. He paused before sitting down, his smile fading. “Now, if only I could do something about my admirers.”

Barok had noticed some gathering after trials to speak with Asogi, but he hadn’t thought much of it. “Are they becoming overly bothersome?” Barok asked.

He sat down at his desk, frowning. “A little.”

Barok crossed his arms. “Then I shall promptly inform the press of all your disagreeable traits. You will soon become one of London’s most detested—“

“Hold on!” Asogi looked at him with fear. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Why not?” Barok asked. “It was most effective for my situation.”

“I-I think I can handle it on my own,” Asogi replied.

“If you insist.”

A moment of silence passed before Asogi spoke again. “Actually… it’s not the attention that bothers me the most. It’s… something else.”

“And what would that be?” Barok asked.

“Well…” He leaned back, glancing down at the newspaper. “It bothers me how everyone expects everyone else to find a romantic partner. It’s just not how I want to live my life. In fact, the world is almost… hostile toward someone like me.”

Barok glanced down, surprised at how well he was able to relate. “I understand how you feel.”

“And the thing is,” Asogi continued, “I like being around people. I like having friends, and I appreciate my friends a great deal. My best friend is my partner… that is what I want. Not a romantic one. And yet, everyone tells me I’ll be lonely.” He frowned. “Everyone assumes I’ll fall in love eventually. Honestly, I don’t understand the concept of falling in love.”

“Careful, Asogi,” Barok said. “The gutter press will call you cold-hearted if you keep talking like that.”

“ You understand though, right?”

Barok nodded. “I do. I… assumed something was wrong with me for a long, long time. I thought there was something preventing me from experiencing those types of romantic feelings.” He glanced down, thinking back on how even Klint had regarded him sadly when he expressed no interest in marriage. “But that’s not it. I believe some people simply lack that kind of affection for others.”

Asogi nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! That’s it exactly.” He crossed his arms. “I don’t think it makes us cold-hearted.” He smirked. “You’re cold-hearted for other reasons.”

“I appreciate the reassurance,” Barok replied sarcastically.

Asogi laughed. “You know, it’s funny, we really are quite alike, aren’t we?”

Barok nodded. “It would seem so. I will admit that I’m relieved to know someone else who is… as unusual as I am.”

“I suppose it is a bit unusual.” Asogi frowned. “In fact… you’re the only person I’ve talked to about this. I’ve never told anyone else for fear that they would find me… overly unusual.”

“That’s probably for the best.” Barok frowned. “From my own experience, others would only try and help in ways that are most unhelpful.” He crossed his arms. “They try to fix a problem that is not actually a problem.” He paused a moment, recalling a particular memory, and wondering if he should even bring it up. “There was one person, however, who attempted to understand.”

“Really? Was it Sholmes? Because he strikes me as—“

“No. It was… your father.”

Asogi stared at him, his eyes wide. “My… father?!”

Barok nodded. “It was over ten years ago, now. I had accompanied him and Klint to an investigation, and on the way back, we stopped for tea.” He glanced down, trying to recall as many details as he could. “A noblewoman with whom my brother was acquainted was present.” He frowned. “Klint proceeded to introduce us, with the intention that we might enter a courtship. She… expressed interest in me, and I panicked.” Barok sighed. “In my panic, I said something incredibly foolish.”

“What did you say?” Asogi asked.

“I knew that I didn’t want to enter a courtship with anyone. I found the idea repulsive. So I reminded my brother that I never wanted to marry. In front of everyone present.” He shook his head. “Klint took it gracefully, but I could tell he was incredibly embarrassed by my behavior. The noblewoman was aghast. I was still panicked from it all, and having realized I had said something embarrassing, I panicked even more.” He frowned. “I didn’t know how to recover from that, so I excused myself and went outside. A few minutes later, your father appeared outside to check on me.”

Asogi looked at him expectantly.

Barok continued. “He asked me if I was all right. I was still so flustered by everything, and above all else I remember feeling childish.” He glanced down. “But I remember that he had no judgment in his eyes. So I decided to tell him how I felt. How I had panicked at the idea of a courtship. How I found the idea repulsive. How I truly never wanted to marry. How I felt terrible that I’d embarrassed Klint.” Barok frowned. “I assumed he would tell me what everyone else had told me. That one day I would change my mind. That I just needed to find the right one . But instead… he told me that I deserved to live how I wanted, even if that meant never getting married. And he told me that he would talk to Klint about it, so I wouldn’t have to.” He looked up at Asogi, who stared at him intensely. “Perhaps he understood how I felt… because he suspected his son was the same way.”

Asogi glanced down, eyes closed. Tears rolled down his cheeks. “Father…”

Barok felt a pang of sadness at seeing him in such despair. “Forgive me if recalling that memory has upset you.”

Asogi shook his head, then wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “No. Thank you for telling me that. It… it means more to me than you could ever realize.”

Barok’s pang of sadness turned to a pang of guilt. “He had been a good friend to me. I… regret immensely how things turned out in the end. I apologise for my part in—“

Asogi shook his head. “Please. There is no need.” He glanced down, his voice going soft. “You’re not to blame.”

It was the first time Asogi had said such a thing, and it surprised Barok. He assumed Asogi was still bitter about the part he had played in Genshin’s death, but it appeared that over the past few months since that trial, Asogi now saw things differently.

“Thank you,” Barok replied.

Asogi remained quiet for a moment. “I often wondered what my father would have thought about… how I am. I was worried that he would have been disappointed in me. I was worried he would find it selfish of me.” He looked at Barok. “But… it seems like that’s not the case.”

Barok nodded. “Indeed. I think he would have understood.”

Asogi glanced down. “I used to send him letters all the time. I would share everything with him, and I would confide in him things that I told no one else.” He frowned. “And he would always reply. He would reply to every single letter in detail.” He shook his head. “I didn’t understand how I was at that time, but… maybe he did. Maybe he pieced it together before I could figure it out about myself.”

“He was a shrewd man,” Barok said. “I imagine you’re right.”

Asogi smiled. “You know… I’m relieved things worked out like this.”

“Like what?”

“The fact that we understand each other so much.”

Barok crossed his arms. “I suppose you’re right.” He hadn’t anticipated becoming close to his apprentice, but given how things were developing, he supposed he appreciated the fact that they understood each other so well.

A knock on the door pulled his attention away. “Enter,” Barok said.

A man entered with the mail, placing a stack of letters on Barok’s desk before scurrying back out. Barok sighed, then picked up the first letter. Before he could open it, he realized it was addressed to Asogi.

He held out the letter. “This one is for you.”

Asogi stood, then took the letter from him. As Barok picked up the next letter, he realized that it, too, was addressed to Asogi.

Barok felt a sense of dread, realizing it could likely be related to the newspaper article. “This as well,” Barok said, holding out the additional letter.

Asogi blinked, then took it. “Another for me?”

“I have a terrible feeling about this,” Barok said, placing a hand over his face.

Asogi laughed, then opened the first letter. As his eyes scanned the page, it was clear he was trying to hold back another laugh. “It’s from a journalist. He wants to interview me about you.”

Barok sighed.

Asogi smirked. “He’s even offering to pay me. I wouldn’t have to worry about rent for months!”

“What does he wish to know about me?”

Asogi narrowed his eyes at the letter. “Everything about your personal life, basically. And I’m not supposed to tell you about it, but you would have known it was me, regardless.”

Barok crossed his arms. “Asogi. I will personally cover your rent for the rest of your stay in London, as long as you don’t agree to that interview.”

Asogi laughed heartily. “And let me miss this golden opportunity?”

Barok clenched a fist. “Asogi…”

He laughed again. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do it.” He shrugged. “It’s not like I know much about your personal life, anyway. For all I know you probably go home every day and just sit around drinking wine from your hallowed chalices.”

Barok let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Asogi merely stared at him.

“What?”

“I thought you would deny my claim that you just sit around drinking wine,” Asogi said.

Barok frowned. “Pray forgive the discourtesy of keeping the details of my personal life from someone who is being bribed into leaking it to the gutter press.”

Asogi laughed. “Fair enough.” He picked up the remaining unopened letter addressed to him, then moved back to his own desk. He opened it, frowning as he read it. Then he crumpled it up.

“Another bribe from a journalist?” Barok asked.

“No. Worse.”

Barok didn’t ask him to elaborate. He figured it was a personal matter, and he knew all too well what it was like when others tried delving into one’s personal matters.

After a long silence, Asogi spoke again. “You’re not going to ask me what it was?”

“It did not seem like you wished to elaborate,” Barok replied.

“Actually… I could use some advice.”

Barok nodded. “Very well. What was the letter you just discarded?”

Asogi tilted his head downward. “It was… a love letter.”

That sounded unpleasant, indeed. Barok did not envy him. “From someone with whom you are acquainted?”

“Yes. I… met a young woman a while back. She was nice to me, and seemed interested in British law, so we started talking at the pub every night.” Asogi frowned, glancing at the crumpled letter. “I thought I had finally made a friend in London, but apparently she sees me a bit differently.”

“That is… a difficult situation. I am sorry you are going through this.”

Asogi sighed. “I feel bad about it, too. I don’t want her to feel hurt. It’s not her fault that I’m… like this.” He glanced away, his eyes sorrowful. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You should tell her the truth,” Barok replied.

“What, that I can’t fall in love? That it’s impossible for me to feel that kind of affection for someone?” He shook his head. “I doubt she’ll believe that.”

“You needn’t word it like that,” Barok said. “Simply tell her you are not interested in a romantic courtship.”

Asogi frowned. “I suppose.” Then he looked at Barok. “That is surprisingly sound advice from someone with no friends to speak of.”

Barok crossed his arms, ignoring his comment. “Alternatively, I could write her and inform her of all your disagreeable trai—“

“No! No, there’s no need for that.”

Barok nodded. “Very well.”

Asogi sighed again, taking out a blank sheet of paper, likely to begin drafting a response to his unfortunate letter. “It’s just so frustrating.” He frowned. “It’s been difficult for me to make friends here. Aside from the annoying admirers, most people don’t want much to do with me because I’m just a foreigner. And on top of that, I’m your apprentice, which is intimidating for most people since you are so off-putting.”

Barok glanced down, feeling a pang of guilt. “I apologise that I have inadvertently prevented you from making friends.”

“No, I… I’m sorry if that sounded harsh,” Asogi replied softly.

“Still, it is unfortunate that you have found it difficult to make friends here. I do not wish loneliness on anyone.”

Asogi glanced down sadly. “Maybe it’s me who’s the most miserable of men."

“You aren’t like me,” Barok replied. “You aren’t… off-putting. In fact, I think anyone would be lucky to call you a friend. It’s possible that young woman realizes this as well.”

Asogi stared at him.

Barok glanced down. “Forgive me if I’ve overstepped. I merely—“

“No, no,” Asogi replied. “It’s fine. I’m just surprised, that’s all. I didn’t realize you thought so highly of me.” He glanced away. “I… don’t actually find you off-putting, you know.”

Now it was Barok’s turn to be surprised. He knew he was off-putting. It was a fact. “Truly?”

“At first I thought you were. But as I’ve gotten to know you… well, I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but some days I actually look forward to seeing you.”

Barok blinked at him, too shocked to speak.

“You’ve been kind to me,” Asogi explained. “You’re patient with me, and you’re understanding. It’s clear that you respect me a great deal, and… I appreciate that.”

Barok bowed his head. “You deserve no less respect, Asogi.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me. I… respect you a great deal as well.”

“I’m honored… especially considering that I am the most miserable of men.”

Asogi laughed. "Despite your misery, you can be surprisingly pleasant at times.” He glanced down, pondering. “In fact… Maybe…”

“What?”

“Maybe I have more friends in London than I thought,” Asogi concluded.

Barok was confused for a moment before the realization struck him. “You mean… me? ”

Asogi smiled. “Of course.”

Barok nodded. “Should you wish to see me as a friend, I would not object.”

“But do you see me as a friend in return?”

Barok pondered a moment. “Before today, my answer would have been no. But after our discussions today… I believe I do.”

“That’s reassuring,” Asogi replied, glancing down at the blank paper in front of him. “Especially if I end up losing my other friend.”

“I hope she is understanding,” Barok replied.

Asogi proceeded to pen his letter, and Barok continued opening the rest of the mail. Much to his relief, there were no marriage proposals among it, though he did wonder if he would be receiving his own bribes from journalists in the coming days.

Asogi sighed, then glanced at his letter. “If this doesn’t end well for me…” He looked up at Barok. “We can be the most miserable of men together.”

“Surely it won’t come to that,” Barok replied. “For you to become as miserable as me would require much more effort.” He crossed his arms. “It was not easy for me to obtain such an esteemed title.”

Asogi laughed. “True enough.” He smirked. “Although at this rate, you might lose that title soon.”

“And why is that?”

“You’re not as lonely now,” Asogi pointed out.

“How… would you know that?” He wasn’t even sure if it was true himself.

“Because you’ve made a friend.” Asogi smiled. “One who understands you well.”

Barok supposed having someone who understood him was comforting, and did in fact make him feel a little less lonely… though he was so used to the loneliness at this point, he had almost forgotten what it was like without it. “I… suppose you’re right.” He frowned. “But please refrain from telling this to the journalists. The marriage proposals might resume.”

Asogi laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Then he glanced down pensively. “You know… I think my father would have wanted us to be friends.”

Barok wondered what Genshin would think of him now. He was not the same man he had been ten years ago. He had turned into a miserable husk of who he had once been. Would Genshin have wanted his son to befriend such a man? “Even as I am now?”

Asogi hesitated a moment before answering. “We’ve both changed since he knew us. But… deep down, we’re still the same, I think.” He paused for a moment, pondering. “The experiences we’ve been through might have changed us on the surface, but parts of us remain unchanged.” He looked at Barok. “And also… we were changed by similar events. We have a lot in common in that sense. We are both victims of the same cruel man’s desire for power.” He glanced away, his expression turning melancholic. “We are the survivors. The ones he ultimately couldn’t kill off. We’re the ones who helped put a stop to the cycle of suffering and death.” He glanced back at Barok, his expression serious. “That’s why I think he’d want us to be friends. Because we understand each other in ways no one else can.”

Barok closed his eyes, taking a moment to process everything Asogi had said. It had all been true, and hearing him be so frank about it made him realize just how similar they were. He opened his eyes and looked at Asogi. “I… believe you are right. We are alike in other ways, as well, of course.”

“Hm?”

“I am referring to our feelings toward romantic affection.”

“Ah! Of course.” Asogi smiled. “See? We understand each other well.”

For the first time in a long time, Barok felt himself able to smile. “I suppose we do.”

Asogi’s smile widened. “I think you’ve lost your esteemed title.”

“I still have much misery left,” Barok assured him.

“But not for long!” Asogi replied.

“Thanks to you, it seems.”

Asogi laughed. “I’m honored to have helped.”

They soon got back to their usual work, now that their personal matters had been mostly resolved. A few times, Barok thought back to the memory he recalled of Genshin. Of how kind he had been, and how understanding he had been…

Just as Barok had been grateful for Genshin on that day all those years ago, he was now even more grateful for the son he left behind.