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Alastor has never had a problem faking his feelings before.
Many think he's a psychopath, a demon who plays with others for his benefit, and they're not lying! He always does, not for nothing has he survived so long in that hellhole.
For Alastor, feelings were a burden that made you look weak, how was someone like him, so respected and feared by others, going to show that he was on the verge of a psychotic break? It was obvious he couldn't, he had to swallow everything he felt and remain stable, as he always had.
Although, many say that the eyes are the reflection of the soul.
It is true that, even though that characteristic smile he always wore was still intact thanks to his efforts, he could not hide those damned feelings that were revealed through his eyes.
And, to his future misfortune, a certain someone had noticed it, but it was clear that he wasn't going to say so directly. Not when they were supposed to have a mutual hatred for each other.
Instead, Lucifer's curious gaze now rested on another place on the demon's body, seeing something that surprised him.
A wound that ran across his entire torso.
A deep wound.
Trying to ignore all that noise and the shouts of happiness between them, he wondered how Alastor was still standing with such a large wound. Between that wound and the fact that he knew his entire current expression was a facet, he was slightly concerned for Alastor's integrity.
' Should I ask him? ' he thought, avoiding all conversation for a moment. He was supposed to hate him, why did he want to know more about him? And why did he care that he was hurt? If he died, he would be one less sinner to worry about.
But for some reason, he didn't want that to happen.
He snapped out of his thoughts as he saw how the whole group was dissipating, and then decided to go ask him. "Hey, uh! Alastor?"
"Hm? Oh, sir." Alastor turned around when he heard Lucifer's call, his red eyes fixed on the yellowish ones. "I congratulate you on your great work here today, I see you've been a great help to Charlie and the rest."
"Oh, uh... yeah, I know I looked pretty good fighting that loser. No need to remind me, but thanks for noticing." He said with a proud smile, resting a hand on his waist.
Alastor narrowed his eyes, maintaining the smile. "Well, if you don't need any more from me, I would be better if I retired. I suppose you'll have things to do."
"No!" Those words made the demon arch an eyebrow, and Lucifer looked away, embarrassed that he sounded desperate for him not to leave. "I mean– actually, I wanted to ask you something. Can we talk in private?"
Alastor blinked, confused at the King's words. But, for some reason, he didn't refuse. "Of course."
Lucifer simply walked over to him and placed a hand on his arm, then snapped his fingers and simply made them appear in a room in the new hotel. That physical contact caused something to awaken inside the demon, causing his pupils to dilate slightly, but he said nothing in the face of it.
As soon as they arrived, he looked around and simply cleared his throat. He wanted to get that matter off his chest and finally be able to rest.
"I'm all ears."
Lucifer turned his gaze back, taking a few seconds before speaking. "You have a rather large wound all over your torso, was it during the fight?"
The demon's ears twitched slightly, indicating that the question had surprised him to some extent. "Oh, this? It's nothing, just a scratch." He said, waving a hand to play it down. Lucifer's remarking on the wound Adam had given him made him feel odd, as if he was looking beyond his walls.
"But it hasn't healed yet. Doesn't it hurt?" He asked again, frowning as he tried to hide the obvious concern in his voice. Why was he worried? It didn't make any sense.
Alastor was silent for a few seconds, then simply shrugged. "No, not really. It's slowly regenerating." He lied, it was obvious that it did hurt, a lot.
Lucifer narrowed his eyes, not quite sure of the answer. "Can I take a look at it?" He asked, without thinking too much about the words.
Alastor arched his eyebrows, a strange expression forming on his face, and then Lucifer realized what he had said. Instantly, a deep reddish color rose to his cheeks. "Don't look at me like that, I just want to make sure you don't die! Unfortunately, you're important to Charlie, and if you die, she'll be upset." He frowned, crossing his arms.
He didn't know exactly why, but that scene was amusing to Alastor. He wasn't used to seeing a supposedly ruthless person like the King of Hell be so protective and insistent, as well as adorable.
Wait, what?
"Are you listening to me?"
Alastor came to after hearing the angel's voice, blinking softly as he smiled again. "Of course I do! And no, I'm not going to let you heal me, I don't need it." He said with the same fake smile.
Lucifer sighed heavily, what little patience he had left was wearing thin. "Either you take off your clothes or I'll take them off."
Hearing those words, Alastor was stunned and began to let out some static noises. After noticing this, Lucifer blushed even more as he realized how wrong what he had said had sounded, waving his hands frantically as he tried to make amends for the mistake.
"I-I didn't mean that, dammit! It's so I could see your wound, you idiot! I thought you weren't fucking dirty–minded!" He shouted as nervousness took over his being, speaking in a rush as he tried to hide from the demon's gaze.
After a few seconds of silence, Alastor came back to himself, blinking slowly as his eyes returned to normal. This time, he seemed to be calmer and more willing to let himself be helped, and this surprised Lucifer.
It was as if he was a new person.
Silently, he began to remove the red jacket, followed by the vest and finally, the shirt, revealing the demon's wounded torso, full of scars from other wounds already healed.
Lucifer took a few seconds to admire him, he wasn't going to lie, this demon was so damn attractive. He blinked a couple of times and then shook his head, what was he thinking? He was a married man, he couldn't think those things about just any demon.
"Make it quick. And don't over-touch, or I'll cut off your hands and eat them, I don't care that you're the king." He muttered in a low tone, looking away while keeping his fists clenched.
At the words, Lucifer simply nodded and took a couple of steps to take a closer look at the wound, removing both gloves and running a couple of fingers over the open skin, analyzing it.
The angel's delicate touch sent a shiver down his spine, clenching his fists tighter and closing his eyes, making his hands bleed slightly. He didn't want to succumb and break before Lucifer's touch, that would be ridiculous.
"Who did this to you?" he asked in a whisper, amazed and worried at the same time at the depth of the wound and the fact that Alastor was holding so much without bleeding out.
Alastor opened his eyes slowly, still not looking at him. He frowned at the question but still answered in a low tone and with more static than normal in his voice. "... Adam."
Lucifer's eyes grew wide with surprise — and some concern —, now being able to understand everything. "Oh, shit." He muttered under his breath, frowning as he sighed. "Celestial wounds can't heal on their own, they need special treatment. I'm surprised you haven't passed out from pain or something yet, you're not as pussy as I expected you to be."
"Thank you for the kind words, sir." He smiled a forced smile, his words embellished with obvious sarcasm. "Can I put my clothes on now? This is… awkward."
"No, wait a minute." He spoke again, placing a hand on the wounded skin. A few seconds later, it began to light up with a faint golden glow.
Alastor arched both eyebrows as he felt the warmth of Lucifer’s hand caress his skin, the sharp pain was beginning to subside and at least the wound was no longer leaking blood. Slowly, he began to stop clenching his fists tightly and the tension in his body eased, feeling somewhat better.
"It should be fine for now, but you should take care of that, it's not going to regenerate easily." He said, pulling his hand away from the wound and sighing again, crossing his arms.
Alastor nodded as he began to grab his clothes and get dressed, arranging everything in the mirror in the room. "It's very thoughtful of you to help a random demon heal himself, specially me. I thought our relationship was more about... hate." He said with a somewhat mocking tone, still trying to hide the feelings that overwhelmed him.
"Oh, shut up! I only did this for Charlie," he said, rolling his eyes as he looked away. "It's not like I care about you or anything."
Alastor smiled slightly, tilting his head to the side. He was about to summon his microphone, but then he remembered what had happened a few hours ago; just remembering the humiliation he'd felt was enough to make his expression drop slightly again, even though he tried to hide it. "Well, well, how should I thank you for this help?" He said, disguising the hurricane of feelings inside himself.
Lucifer looked back, now feeling that it was the exact moment to delve deeper into the demon's mind. "How about... if you tell me what's going on in that head of yours." He said, pointing to his head.
Alastor blinked, confused. It was obvious that he knew what he meant, and that was what worried him most at the moment. He couldn't let himself be seen as vulnerable before him, it would be ridiculous and embarrassing. “I don't know what you mean, Your Majesty. I feel perfectly fine.” He forced a static laugh, putting his hands behind his back.
Lucifer kept his gaze on the demon, narrowing his eyes slightly. “You may fool everyone out there with that smile of yours and your eccentric side, but not me. I can see it in your eyes,” he sighed, frowning as he became confused with his own actions.
"You can trust me."
The demon's smile began to twist into a strange grimace, and his body tensed again, trying with all his might not to let panic take over his being again. "I'm fine." He repeated, feeling like the whole room was spinning and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.
The memories of his almost death at the hands of that Adam were driving him crazy, how could someone like him have allowed himself to almost disappear from that plane to save his friends?
Friends?
Bullshit!
For Satan’s sake, all that spectacle was so ridiculous. And it was even more ridiculous knowing that his soul was tied to another person, preventing him from doing what he wanted, limiting his powers, and serving as a puppet for his owner.
“Alastor!”
Lucifer's voice brought him back to consciousness, but his mind was so clouded that his eyes began to do so too. Soon, he stopped feeling control over his own body and simply fell to his knees in front of him.
How humiliating.
He brought both hands to his head, burying his fingers in his reddish hair, murmuring words inaudible due to the amount of static coming out of his mouth. “I… d̵̛̮̽̂͆̓͑̾͑͠i̸̦͍̖̺̤͇̪̅̉e̶̡͔̙̬̖̱͆̿̈́͆̊͠ͅͅ…? For them…?
… ̵̼̞̣͓͕̝͋͒̃͂̋n̶̠̖̪͌̈̒̇͝ë̸̡̪̯͔̟̱͕͖͓́͑̽͝ͅv̶̟͚̞̙͚̹͕̓ę̷̰̩͎̽̌̈́̓͋̃ͅr̸̭̍͠."
'Get up. Get up and show this son of a bitch there's nothing wrong with you.
DO NOT BE RIDICULOUS.'
“Alastor, it's okay. I know how you feel." Lucifer's voice was so sweet and soft that it was enough for him to at least focus the cloud of messed thoughts on something. "Look at me."
With some effort, he stopped talking and was able to raise his gaze to fix it on the face of Lucifer, even though his vision was so cloudy that he could hardly see who was in front of him. He felt a warm hand rest on his cheek and his breathing hitched even more due to his soft touch, he couldn't.
He shouldn't let himself be seen so vulnerable.
"You will be fine." Lucifer's voice sounded as sweet as honey, flooding his ears again while he felt the warmth emanating from his hand passing through his cold skin, causing soft chills in his body. “Everything will end and you will be fine again.”
For the first time, Alastor wanted to believe his words. He wanted to believe that everything would be okay, but right now his mind was a cluster of thoughts that he couldn't get out of. "I…"
“Shhh, calm down. I am here to help you." He responded, now placing both hands on his while grabbing them with some force, causing more static noises getting out of the demon. He could notice the difference in temperature between the two, while his were warm, Alastor's were as cold as ice. “I'm not going to leave you until you feel better.”
Those words sparked new feelings within Alastor, feelings he didn't know how to identify. For the first time in the time he had been in Hell, he felt tears crawling into his eyes, threatening to spill out of them.
"Why...?" He asked with some difficulty, ducking his head once more as he fixed his gaze on the grip of both his hands. How had he allowed that if he hated physical contact? And why were Lucifer's hands so pleasant to the touch? He had so many questions and so few answers.
"Why do you… h̸̡̓͆͗̃̐̈͘͝e̴͚̙̭̘̹̱̅̚l̸̝̤̘̤̹̘̱̉́̆̀̓͑͗p̴̭̟̄̋͂̎̅̽͗̒̍ ̵͕̟̦̽͗͂̅̓̕̕ͅm̴̛͔͖͍̾̃͗̂́̈́͑͠ĕ̷͕̺̹̪̥͙̱̤͊…?"
Alastor's question surprised Lucifer, he didn't have an answer to that. He could lie and say it was because Charlie would worry if she saw him that way, but… that would possibly be a stupid, meaningless lie. He shrugged, gently tightening his grip on their hands. “I guess I understand how you feel… being trapped in an endless spiral of thoughts with no way to escape them, feeling like you’re going insane every single minute. It’s horrible.” He spoke, staring at the ground. “The fact that I have suffered the same thing as you now has made me feel… empathy?”
Silence fell in the room for a few moments, and then Alastor spoke again, trying to make his voice a little more stable. “It's humiliating… someone like me shouldn't be like this in front of anyone, and especially not in front of someone like you .” He murmured, looking up as he looked anywhere else but him. He felt slightly better, he was finally able to breathe better but didn't want him to see that he was about to burst into tears.
Lucifer let out a chuckle, tilting his head. “Come on, I told you that I have been through the same thing as you, several times as well. “If we are going to talk about vulnerability, it can’t just be me who is showing it.” Then, he let out a sigh and his gaze became somewhat softer, as if melancholic. His eyes always had that touch of sadness in them, as if he was being inundated by it all the time. “It's okay to feel weak from time to time. Especially when you are about to die.”
Those words made Alastor tense again, frowning as he unconsciously squeezed Lucifer's hands. He remained silent for a few seconds, speaking again this time in a somewhat softer tone. “That son of a bitch… he almost killed me. He left me looking like a weak mess.” He sighed, and then a tear fell from his eye, followed by a bitter, static-filled laugh.
He turned his gaze to Lucifer, and Lucifer raised his eyebrows in surprise as he saw the crystalline tears falling from those beautiful carmine eyes. He had trusted him to let him see his tears, his vulnerable side. “I couldn't fight because of that damn—” But then he decided to shut up, closing his eyes and looking away, he couldn't reveal the secret.
Lucifer frowned, narrowing his eyes. “Of that damn…?”
“Forget it, I haven't said anything. Just…” He opened his eyes again but didn't look at him, confused by his own actions and thoughts. "Can I trust you?" He asked, not letting go of his grip on his hands. He didn't know exactly why, but it made him feel somewhat better.
"Of course." He nodded.
Alastor was silent momentarily, wiping away some tears. “I made a deal with someone in exchange for power.” “He said in a low tone, looking up.
Lucifer was stunned by his words, opening his eyes wide. "You did what?"
“Yes, the great Alastor sold his soul in exchange for power.” He frowned, speaking in a sarcastic tone, and then sighed again. “But I regret doing it every day. It's almost no use to me, as you've already seen they almost killed me today, and every day I only feel more caged.” Lucifer remained silent at his words, amazed that Alastor was opening up so much to him. "This is ridiculous."
“May I know who that person is? The one you made the deal with?” Alastor denied. “Alright, is fine… and what did that person want from you?” He asked again, curious.
“To take care of someone and help them with certain… things.” He said, looking up again.
Lucifer nodded again, and then simply let go of his hands. In one quick movement, he simply approached his face and placed his hands on Alastor's cheeks again, wiping away the tears that still fell down his face.
Alastor felt the red rising to his face from the contact of his warm hands on his skin once again. The fact that Lucifer, who was supposed to be the King of Hell, the embodiment of the sin of Pride, was being so sweet and caring with him was weird. And the fact that both their faces were so close only made him want to push him towards him and kiss him.
Wait, kiss him? Was he crazy?!
In a slow movement, Alastor's hands came to rest on Lucifer's, and he was able to smile again. But this time it was a sincere smile, not the usual, wide-fake ones.
'Just do it.'
Alastor thought and, for once, he decided to let himself be guided by those weird feelings. He grabbed Lucifer’s hands tightly in his and just pulled the angel into his arms, letting him fall on top of him while his lips searched for his, finding them and joining them in a kiss much sweeter than expected.
Lucifer stood still, both eyes wide open as he felt the demon's lips collide with his, but he simply let himself go and continued the kiss, intensifying it to a level he liked. Strangely, it felt good to kiss Alastor, although he didn't quite know why.
Alastor played along, bringing the angel even closer to him as his teeth began to bite his lips, tasting the heavenly blood. Lucifer let out a soft growl when he felt this, but he only grabbed the demon's jacket to continue kissing him, letting himself melt into his arms.
After several minutes, they both separated, leaving a thread of saliva joining both mouths. For a moment, they just looked at each other; words were not necessary to describe what just happened.
“What was that?” Lucifer asked with a grin on his face, intending to tease him.
Alastor moved his deer ears from side to side, tilting his head. “Let's just say... I wanted to taste the angel that everyone desires.” He grinned as well, lifting his face with a couple of fingers.
“And you liked him?” He teased again.
"A lot."
Lucifer kept his smile, narrowing his eyes with amusement. He didn't know why, but the demon made him feel alive again, and he was grateful for that. “I see I've made you feel better.”
“I'm going to have to ask you to keep all this a secret, I can't ruin my reputation with the rest of the hotel staff,” Alastor said, tracing softly his chin with his fingers.
"And what if I don’t do it?" His smile widened.
“You don't want to know what I'll do to you.”
"You scare me," Lucifer said sarcastically, smirking.
"Oh, shut up. You should be."
Silence fell between them once again, Lucifer was still on top of Alastor and did not seem to want to move away. “So… should I leave you alone?”
Alastor thought about the question, then shrugged. “You can stay as long as you desire. If I don’t take up your time, I would like you to stay.”
Lucifer smiled again, then nodded, relaxing his body on top of the demon. “I'll stay then. You are a good bed.”
Alastor rolled his eyes and then let his head fall to the ground, sighing. That idiot had managed to calm him down so easily that he was ashamed of it. "... By the way, thank you for helping me. Not many would have done the same in your place.”
Lucifer looked at him again, and then tilted his head, playing with his reddish hair. "It doesn't matter. Like I said, you made me feel some weird empathy seeing you like this, I couldn't just let you suffer alone. It’s like seeing myself again in that state.”
"Oh dear, how sweet." Alastor grinned, narrowing his eyes.
"Shut up."
Then, silence returned to both of them and they simply stayed like that, together and without saying anything, just enjoying each other's company.
In the end, maybe they could understand each other.