Chapter Text
Nick
Fuck. David’s home from college for spring break. Couldn’t he go to, like, some beach and drink? Like he did last year?
“Hey, dumbass!” David shouts at me as he brings his duffel bag into the foyer. I’m in the living room.
This is why I’m so excited he’s home. That is sarcasm.
“Why the fuck did Mom insist I come home for spring break?” Now he’s heading up the stairs.
“What?” I ask, confused, following him.
“Something about a dinner?” he asks while unpacking a large collection of Axe Body Sprays into our shared bathroom. Some of the scents, he says, are “vintage,” but really, they’re just discontinued.
“Oh, yeah, family dinner tomorrow,” I reply. “Honestly? I thought that was in your honor.”
“Fuck, no. I wanted to be at Daytona Beach this week with the rest of the soccer team. I’ll have to settle for taking the train to New York Monday morning to hang out with my girlfriend.” David rolls his eyes in annoyance.
“Awww, too bad, no cheating on Michelle this week,” I reply sarcastically.
“Fuck, I know!” The sarcasm is lost on my prick brother.
Mom’s car pulls into the driveway. I run down the stairs and go out to help her with a mountain of brown paper grocery bags — she must have uncharacteristically forgotten her reusable bags. David stands grumbling in the hallway while Mom enters the house and puts down her armload of groceries. When she looks up, a large smile spreads across her face.
“David! You made it home!” She walks over to give him a hug. He lets her hug him for all of two seconds before shrugging her off.
“Yeah, Mom, it’s only like a ninety-minute drive. But what’s going on?” he asks.
Mom starts rubbing her fingers together erratically at his question. Is she… nervous? “Oh, it’s just been so long since we’ve had a chance to all be together.”
I start putting away the groceries while David stares our mother down. “Ma?”
“Well, there’s someone I’d like you to meet,” she relents. She looks around, avoiding eye-contact, before picking her head back up and looking at both of us. “Two people, really.”
“What?!” David shouts.
“Whaaa?” I reply with shock. This sounds like a boyfriend. Is Mom dating? Have I missed something? I go through my memory. She spends all her free time these days at book club, or PTA meetings…, or teaching some woman from the PTA how to bake.
Mom looks down at her hands and then starts busying herself with the groceries again. “You’ll meet them tomorrow.”
“Ma…?” David asks.
“David, please.” She looks up and her eyes are thick with unshed tears. “Tomorrow.”
“Fuck this, I don’t need a new Daddy, or whatever.” David picks his phone up off the counter, grabs his keys from the dish by the door, and storms out.
Mom sniffles and looks at me. “Nicky, dear, could you finish the groceries? I’d like to sit down.”
“Sure thing, Mom. Are you okay?” I ask with my head in the fridge, putting away some sour cream.
“Yeah, I just need a minute. Maybe in a bit we could make lemon drizzle cake together? For tomorrow?” She sounds so small.
“Yeah, Mom, that would be great.” I look up and smile at her, but she is already retreating down the hallway.
Tao
“Mom, you are ruining my life!” I shout at her. Maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe she deserves it. I glare down at the kitchen counter, unable to look her in the eyes.
“Tao, my son, I love that you care so much about everything — ” she begins. She keeps rubbing at her arm nervously.
“I can’t just CANCEL movie night! It’s sacred! It’s tradition! It’s a sacred tradition!” I do not let things go. It’s one of my best qualities.
“Tomorrow we’re going to dinner at the Nelsons’ house,” she states plainly, her eyes downcast.
“The Nelsons?” I am so confused. Then my face crinkles in disgust. “I hope this isn’t the same family as that Giant Baseball Jock, Nick Nelson,” I grumble.
My mother blanches momentarily, and her eyes flick up to look at me in shock. “Now Tao, be nice.”
“Mom! Mom! Moooom. You are NOT making me have dinner with the Baseball King, Nick Nelson. ARE YOU?” I flail in derisive indignation.
“Shhhh, Tao, my love. Just trust me, okay?” She holds her arms open for me and I can’t resist one of her hugs, so I fall into her. She squeezes me tight and lets out a big, shaking sigh. I squeeze her back. “There will be some changes in our family soon, Tao. Good changes. Please, please trust me.”
“Mom? What are you saying?” I ask, concern creeping over me.
“I have things to tell you, Tao. And…,” she trails off as she sniffles. “I hope you will understand. This is all so difficult for me. But I think it’s for the best, for both of us.”
“Mom?”
“Tao, please, we are going to this dinner,” she insists, dropping her gaze down from me.
“Fine, Mom.” I do love my mother. She’s the best. And she’d only insist if it is important. I sigh before continuing, “I just don’t understand what’s going on.”
She sighs again. “Oh, Tao. This is so hard for me to tell you.”
“Can you tell me now?” I ask.
“I promised I wouldn’t. I’ll warn you, though, that it will be surprising. You will be surprised about… me.” She’s staring at her hands as she speaks.
“Mom, are you okay?” I ask.
She lets out a breath. “Yes, Tao, I’m okay.”
“You’re not going away, right?” Fuck, that is my deepest fear.
“Oh Tao, no. I will be with you always.” She pulls me into her with another tight hug. “You are my world.”
My emotions are too high, now, too, so I try to lighten the mood. I crack my best, most charming smirk. “Hmmm, you’re not a space alien, right?”
She smiles weakly. “No.”
“Hmm, are you running for president?” I ask again.
She laughs for real at that one. “Tao!”
“Oh, I know, you’re going to cryogenically freeze your head so you can bring joy and baozi to the future?!”
“Tao!” She giggles, and then she ruffles my hair.
“Mom! Ugh!” I roll my eyes in mock indignation.
She smiles at me. “Oh. Sorry. I know you’re going to see Ellllleee tonight,” she teases me in a sing-song voice.
I feel my face flame red. “Mom! Shhhh!”
“She can’t hear you from her own house. Now go get ready and I'll drive you to the arcade. Charlie’s dad is driving you all home, right?
“Right.”
“Good, I have to make some baozi for tomorrow.”
Nick
Mom is being weird. David is being a bigger asshole than usual. I’m… stressed. I vacuumed the living room as Mom requested and went out to the backyard to throw a ball around to get some of my nervous energy out. Around three, I'm supposed to set the table. But until then, I’m just trying not to lose my mind.
“Nicky dear,” My mom calls out through the back door. “I know David was supposed to do it today, but he’s disappeared. Would you take the dogs for a walk, please?”
“Sure, Mom! Actually, I think all three of us should burn off some energy. I’ll take them to the park.”
“Oh, thank you, Nicky,” Mom answers, relief evident in her tone. I try to ignore the warm glow of satisfaction in my chest at knowing that my mom appreciates all the help I give her. Then I run inside to grab the dogs' harnesses off the hooks by the back door, and eight furry legs skid into view before I know it.
While the dogs are excited for the walk, they take their time getting to the park. Nellie is getting older and doesn’t move as fast as she used to, and Henry’s little legs just don’t walk that fast. I enjoy the feeling of the sun on my face, a rare joy at this time of year as the last vestiges of winter melt away with the thaw.
Once we arrive at the park, I unhook their leashes from their harnesses and they take off, running. The relative peace and calm from the walk over are lost as soon as they spot other dogs in the distance. They gallop and play for a bit until they meander back to me. I throw some tennis balls and run after them, my own energy still pulsing in my veins.
A boy runs by me, a blur of dark brown curls and swift runner’s legs. My stomach flutters: it must be because he runs faster than I could ever dream of. I watch him run further away, taking note of his elegant form. Maybe I just don’t run correctly. He certainly looks very graceful as he moves.
Eventually the boy disappears, and the dogs are panting in exhaustion. I take them back home and re-fill their water bowls. Mom is in a tizzy, muttering about baozi? I don’t even know what that is. The lemon loaf we made last night is displayed on one of my great grandmother’s frilly platters. It’s delicious, but not that fancy.
“Mom, are you okay?” I ask again, for what feels like the thousandth time in the past two days.
“Yes, Nicky, I’m fine. Please set the table.”
Is she annoyed with me? I hope not. I try so hard to be a good son, unlike David. Speaking of….
“I’m here,” he announces, as though the door slamming behind him isn’t a big enough clue.
“Oh David, I’m so glad you’re back!” Mom sounds relieved. But I’m always here. I’m always helpful. What about me? “Nicky took the dogs out since you weren’t here. Could you set the table?”
“Mom, I’m a little old to help my baby brother set the table, don’t you think?” he grumbles.
Mom puts down her spatula and glares at my brother. “Now, really, David. Just be helpful for ten minutes.”
“And then pretend I want to be here for the entire family dinner?” he scoffs back at her angrily.
“No, David. You will greet our guests, listen to what I have to say, and then you can leave for all I care!” she shouts, obviously out of patience for David.
“Jesus, Ma,” he mutters. But he starts grabbing the forks and knives from the kitchen.
Tao
We pull up to a house that is admittedly kind of nice. Bigger than the little townhouse Mom and I live in. It’s obvious boys live there, though. A basketball hoop hangs above the driveway with a sporty car beneath it. Dude-bro boys, yuck.
I give my mom a miserable glance, but she looks… weird. Her face is pale, and her mouth is pulled into a straight line. She refuses to look at me again.
“You okay, Mom?” I ask.
She turns to me and smiles, but it seems fake. “Yeah. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Mom, always.” Saying that makes her smile for real for a moment, before her face returns to a sad grimace.
As we get out of the car I glance up, and a woman about my mom’s age is standing in the doorway, watching us expectantly. I look back at my mom in confusion, and she gestures for me to walk ahead of her while she gathers the baozi and steamer we brought from the trunk.
As I approach the door the woman greets me. “You must be Tao! I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Sarah. These are my sons, Nicky and David!” She points behind her. Nicky is indeed Baseball King Nick Nelson. David looks… and smells… like an absolute fuckboy. I wave half-heartedly at the Jock Brothers, and Sarah takes off toward my mom’s car. David rolls his eyes and disappears into a nearby room, opening a can of beer as he does so.
Nick’s eyes take me in with concern. “Um, you look familiar?” He’s about as smart as he appears.
I let out a long breath that blows my hair up out of my face for a second. “Yes, we go to the same school. Your friend Harry chucks stuff at me and my friends every week at lunch. Last Tuesday it was an orange, I believe.”
Nick has the decency to look ashamed. “Chucks stuff,” he mutters. Then he groans. “Ugh, Harry’s not really my frien—” he cuts himself off and his eyes grow wide.
“What?” I ask, before I turn to look out the door. Our mothers are… “holding hands?!” I shout as I realize what is happening.
Nick looks at me with panic in his eyes and puts a finger over his mouth. “Shhh, we don’t? I mean…. I don’t? Do you know? I think whatever this is, they want to tell us about it?”
He started out sounding like an idiot, but in the end, he makes sense. “Okay, yeah.” I agree. I glare at him in accusation, though. This must be his mother’s fault, whatever this is.
Just then our mothers enter the house, looking completely fine. Normal. Well, my mom is still radiating anxious energy, but they aren’t touching or looking at each other. Sarah introduces Nick to my mom, and the two of them stop by the living room to introduce her to David. Sarah then ushers my mom into the kitchen, and I hear them giggling while my mom cooks the baozi in the steamer. Mom’s laughs sound strained.
“Um, can I get you a drink?” Nick looks at me politely.
“I don’t drink!” I respond firmly.
He cracks a smile. “Not even water?”
“Oh! Oh, yeah. I do drink water. And juice?” Right, this isn’t a kegger, even if I’m sure that’s where Nick would rather be right now.
He smiles at me again. He needs to stop doing that. We’re never going to be friends. “We have apple juice, OJ, some fruity seltzer, or water.”
“Apple juice sounds good.” I answer, and he looks at me expectantly. I roll my eyes. “Please?”
“Sure thing, Tao,” he sings and wanders off towards the kitchen. I follow him, because I realize I don’t want to be alone with his brother.
After he hands me a glass of juice he looks into the living room, and it seems like he doesn’t want to be in the same room as his brother, either. “Um, do you want to meet the dogs?”
Why is Nick Nelson giving me a tour of his house, pretending to be a nice guy?
“I like dogs.”
Nick looks at me in exasperation but leads me to his room upstairs, where they’ve obviously hidden their dogs from their guests. The dogs are cute. I’ll give the Nelsons that. But, ugh, Nick’s room is all posters of sportsball players, Indy cars, and Marvel action heroes. Gross.
Just after Henry the pug has consented to let me pat his head, I hear Sarah calling for the “boys!” I guess that includes me. We walk downstairs and sit around the table. David takes a seat at the head of the table and looks at us in defiance. My mom indicates for Nick and I to sit together along one side, and she and Sarah sit across from us. Luckily, Nick is stuck sitting kitty-corner to his brother (and not me).
I look at the food laid out on the table. Mom’s baozi, a bowl of green beans with some lemon zest sprinkled on top, mashed potatoes, and a Sunday roast. This seems like an odd combination. I grab a baozi with the chopsticks at my place setting. Nick watches me intently.
“Can I just get some of the American food, Nicky?” David asks, handing his plate to his brother to fill. Nick sighs and starts to put green beans, potatoes, and roast on his plate.
He passes the plate back to David, turns, and whispers to me. “What are those?” he asks.
“Baozi, they’re savory buns. My mom’s specialty. These ones are made with pork.”
He looks intrigued and puts one on his plate. Sarah smiles at him, and he smiles back at her like an idiot.
Sarah
I look to Yan to see if she’s ready. She asked me to lead this conversation, because she’s so unsure how it will go, and what it will mean for her relationship with Tao. Apparently, the talk she started last night with him was really difficult. She nods while frowning hesitantly, and I take her hand under the table, for strength, for what comes next.
“Boys,” I start. I take another breath. “Yan and I have something we want to tell you.”
Nicky looks at me with his big brown eyes. Tao glances back and forth between Yan and I. David texts on his phone.
“David, could you please put your phone down and listen to what we have to say?”
David puts it down with more force than necessary and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, Ma?” he asks impatiently.
One more breath. “Yan and I are dating. I’m bisexual.” There, I’ve said it. As soon as it is out of my mouth, I am second-guessing this whole decision. Yan is white and still beside me, stuck in a fight-or-flight response.
Shocked silence hangs in the room.
“Mom?” Nick whispers, bewildered, and I can see him processing this piece of news.
Tao’s head whips around to look at Yan, eyebrows raised, looking for her confirmation. I squeeze her hand again and gently ground her from her panic by brushing her hand with my fingers. She remains silent for another long moment before her breathing returns to normal.
Yan looks at Tao. “I’m also… bisexual. I’m so sorry, Tao.” A tear slides down her beautiful cheek.
David stands up, his chair falling to the ground behind him. “What the fuck, Ma? When did you become a lesbian?! Is… is that why Dad left? You wouldn’t give it to him?”
I somehow manage not to slap him. “David, you’re upset, and I understand,” I growl through gritted teeth. “But I’m bisexual, not a lesbian. I did love your dad once. But I think, if you’re going to talk to me like this, you should leave.”
“Yeah, fuck this. Bye, Ma.” David picks up his phone and grabs his keys, and moments later his Mustang peels out of the driveway. I close my eyes in frustration and look at Nicky.
Nick’s eyes crinkle in confused contemplation. “Okay, Mom. Thank you for telling us.” He stands up to hug me; he’s such a sweet boy.
Yan’s breathing is still labored next to me, and Tao’s been eyeing her critically throughout David’s outburst.
Tao looks dubious. “How long has this been going on?”
Yan replies quietly, “We met at the Election Day PTA bake sale. Sarah’s lemon drizzle cake was delicious.”
“And I loved Yan’s baozi buns!” I add in, laughing, trying to cheer up Yan.
Tao and Nick cringe at the word buns.
“So, we got to talking and agreed to teach each other how to make the other’s specialty,” Yan says.
“One thing led to another, and now here we are!” I finish.
Tao looks at Yan critically, then he looks at me. Turning back to Yan he says, “And what about Dad?”
At that point, I fully realize that this is not how we should have shared all of our news. All at once, together. The boys need to process some of this in private.
Yan reaches for her son and hugs him. “Oh, Tao, you know I’ll always love your dad. This doesn’t change that. I’ll never forget him. He’s always a part of me.” The two of them step out of the room and continue their conversation out of earshot in the living room.
Nick asks me more about Yan and the timeline of our relationship. I can see him processing his thoughts carefully as he nods along, piecing it all together. He keeps looking at his hands and then at me, like he’s waiting for it to make sense.
Yan and Tao return to the dining room, eyes red. Tao’s voice announces their entrance. “Okay, then. I’m happy for you.” He glances at me as he sits back down at the table. “For you both.”
“Oh, we’re so glad you boys understand!” Yan’s joy is evident in her quiet words.
“Um, but there’s one more part,” I begin.
Tao’s eyebrow shoots up again, and Nick looks pale.
“We’re getting married!” I exclaim.
Tao squeaks. Nick looks back at his hands.
“And, um, it will be the long Fourth of July weekend, since we know David will be able to get it off from his internship. We’ll all go down the Cape to Provincetown, just the five of us,” I explain.
Both boys look like they have a million more questions.
Nicky speaks first, “This is great, Mom! I’m really so happy for you. It is a lot of information at once, though.”
“I know, Nicky, I just wanted us to be sure before we told you boys.”
“I understand, Mom. I love you so much, and I want you to be happy. I look forward to getting to know Yan better.” He gives me a big hug. I vow to myself to talk to him more in the coming weeks, as I know he can be a people-pleaser. He needs to process his feelings.
Tao furrows his brow. “Wait, what about the school trip to Montreal?!” he squawks.
Yan flinches and can’t look Tao in the eye. “Neither of you will be able to go, sorry.”
“But I was supposed to go with Charlie, Isaac, and Elle!” Tao protests. Then he looks at Yan and takes a breath. “But this is more important.”
The boys ask some more questions, and we answer as best we are able. Nick keeps trying to catch Tao’s eye, but Tao refuses to look at him. Yan had said that he could be stubborn. But this is the hardest part, and now the band-aid is ripped off. I start slicing up some lemon drizzle cake and continue to answer the boys’ questions.
At the end of the meal, after Yan and Tao go home, Nick takes refuge in his room with the dogs. He says he needs some time to think about everything.