Chapter Text
Magic was absolutely brilliant. Growing up in a circus had left Chester with a very high tolerance for wondrous things. Spending his younger years watching magicians, trapeze artists, clowns, fire breathers, contortionists and a whole host of different performers making their way in and out of their troupe meant that he had watched no small amount of amazing and strange things. Even then, these skilled and amazing artists couldn’t hold a candle to half the things in this alley. There were buildings that look like they were defying the very laws of physics; brightly colored shops, signs and advertisements that shifted and moved of their own accord and people dressed in all manors of robes and clothes he had never seen the likes of before. While Chester had always known that magic existed, he was living proof of that fact, he had spent very little time in any purely magical places. While you can find little bundles of Wixen hidden away in every little town, this many all at once was really a sight to see.
Spotting a circle of people gathered in front of a random shop, Chester made a beeline right to this group to see exactly what was happening that caught so many people’s attention. It seemed to be some sort of street performer; this caught his attention. Perhaps if he saw how wizards and witches entertained each other he could work out some new tricks to use at the circus once summer came again. Chester pushed his way through the crowd to get a better view that didn’t include a taller person’s ass. An old man with a bald head and the most spectacular mustache Chester had ever seen say cross legged in the center of the circle with an ornately carved pipe in his hand. As took a deep draw of this pipe, the carvings along the side lit up and hundreds of tiny runes hidden within the beautiful patterns started to shine. The vibrant orange glow slowly faded to nothing as the old man took his lips off of the pipe.
The old man slowly breathed out the collected smoke, the clouds spreading out as they would normally. They gathered around his head as he closed his eyes in concentration. Shifting from its place around his head, the smoke gathered in front of the him and started to turn into a more defined shape. In a matter of seconds, the vague shape became clearer. It appeared to Chester to be a bird of some sort, even if it was like no bird he had ever seen. With three sets of wings and a long whip like tail, he guessed that it was probably a magic creature. As this bird started to circle his head the old man picked up a polished stick that sat on the ground next to him. Poking the smoke creature with the point, he muttered a short phrase Chester couldn’t understand.
As the last syllable left his lips a layer of static appeared around the bird, small sparks arcing off of the smoke that made up its body. This charge built up over time and the arcs grew larger and larger. Just as it seemed that the charge could build up no more, the bird let out a screech of anger and all of the electricity shot from the beak of the smoke creature. As if the bird was breathing lightning, the static shot towards the old man, hitting him the face. The man’s moustache hairs stood on their ends, making his already excellent mustache even more impressive.
In the end, Chester ended up watching this man for over half an hour. Some other members of the audience really didn’t like this. A lot of aggressive looks were directed at him while he tried to just enjoy the show and pointedly ignored the glares. The old man created a whole menagerie of different animals, magical and mundane alike. Some of these creatures Chester recognized, like the horse or the dragon that burnt off one of the mans eyebrows with an overexcited flame burst. Others, he could only guess at, such as the strange three headed snake. The three heads fought each other, the left one managing to kill the other two before the smoke that made up its body dispersed.
Normally, Chester would make a point of tipping the man, especially with how long he had watched him for. He nearly did until he noticed that all of the money that people were putting into the top hat next to the performer were large metallic coins. This confirmed his thought that his pounds were probably useless here.
The crowd started to shift and change, people starting to lose interest, some leaving, some getting ready to leave and others just looking a little restless. Chester recognized this moment from his own performances. This was the perfect time for a big finale to make sure people remember your act. ‘Always start with your second-best bit and finish on your best’ as the old showbiz rule goes.
This man apparently knew this. He took the deepest draw yet and exhaled towards the ground. The smoke once more moved unnaturally, forming multiple shapes this time. Most of them resembled humans, stood in a group to one side as if speaking to each other. The performer rapidly poked each and every one with his wand, rapidly muttering words Chester couldn't catch. As this happened, the remaining smoke took its shape. It settled on a form that resembled a large lion covered in spines. this creature puffed up its neck like a pufferfish and shook its head. The crowd let out a collective sound of shock when they saw this animal. Chester guessed he was missing some vital context here. Ignoring the crowds reaction, the old man moved to place his wand against the newest form. As he did this, deep green smoke started to flow out of the form’s jaws. The smoke-based group of humanoids suddenly noticed the creature and started to launch a barrage of brightly colored bolts of light towards the big cat.
It was a slaughter. Even with the number of humans fighting the creature, not a single one of the lights seemed to slow it. Some fell to the creatures claws, others were ripped apart by its jaws and quite a few just dropped dead from the clouds of green clouds that poured out of its mouth. Chester almost found himself morning the little warriors, a testament to the performers story telling skills. He found himself wishing that he did have the right sort of money to tip, this old man was clearly a master of his craft. As the last human fell, the creature let out a mighty roar that caused a large chunk of the audience to visibly flinch.
The crowd was completely silent as the old man stood up and placed the pipe into his pocket. As the man took a slow and deep bow, the seemed to snap out of the spell he had weaved over them. They suddenly burst into applause and cheers. They clapped for a solid minute before people started to leave in small groups and the old man picked up his top hat and placed it on his head, ignoring the fact it was now full of a substantial number of metallic coins. This did not seem to matter as the money stayed put inside his hat.
Walking over to the man, Chester spotted another person who clearly wanted to talk to the performer. Deciding that he did not have any particular reason to rush today he decided to let the other man talk to the old man first. It was still quite early after all, not even lunch and he had all day to do his shopping after all. Chester politely stood to one side and let the much taller man have his conversation.
The man was quite interesting to look at anyway. While his short time in the alley had let him know that robes were very much still in fashion with wizards, most of the ones he had seen so far were rather unremarkable. The robes that this man was wearing were obviously quite expensive. They were a deep black that seemed to catch the light like silk and fell perfectly on his body, making what was clearly a rather large beer belly seem much smaller than it was. Chester knew this man’s type, a rich twat who wanted to show it off to everyone who even saw him.
“That was an exquisite show good sir, even if the nundu battle was in… bad taste.” The tall man sneered “Francis Rowle, I am a collector of unique magic artifacts. Who might you be to have such an exquisite pipe?” He asked as he put out his hand, which the other man shook.
“Names Albert, me dad made this pipe, what’s it to ya?” the newly named Albert replied.
Francis looked down his nose at the older man “Albert who?”
“Jus Albert, I’ve never been much for posturing based on ma family, made my own way in life.”
The other man pinched the bridge of his nose “How many galleons would I have to trade you for that pipe?”
“Yur wand would do.” Albert replied with a smirk.
A look of shock crossed the posh pricks face. “How dare you! I would never give you my wand. If you dare ask for something like that again I might just give you what for.”
“ I ain’t givin you my da’s pipe and if you ask for it again I’ll show the wrong end of my wand.”
“Okay then, Albert.” Francis seethed. “What would you charge for a copy of the rune scheme so it can be replicated for archival?”
A wicked grin crossed Albert’s face. “A day with yer missus and a night with your mother would do jus fine.”
There was a split second where Chester genuinely thought the tall prick might just attack the other man. Luckily, he held himself back. “What is that supposed to mean.”
At this point, Chester decided that it might be best to step in before he had to find out what it looks like when two wizards fought a lot sooner than he planned. “I believe that it means ‘Fuck off’, seems pretty clear to me but it might be a cultural thing.” He butted in.
It seemed like, until this point, Francis had not noticed Chester stood a scant couple of meters away from him. This probably said something about his ability of observation. Even though you could somewhat let him off as Chester barely stood tall as the man’s hip, he didn’t exactly blend in with the background.
“Oh so it’s just something only freaks would know about? That explains it.”
“Who do you think you are? You just tried to buy a guys clearly valued pipe from his dad and acted offended when they said no. That’s pretty fecking ‘freak’ in my books dude.”
“Do. Not. Refer. To. Me. As. ‘Dude’ you should have more respect for your betters.”
“Oh, I do very much have a hell of a lot of respect for my superiors, it's why I’m so happy to jump in to stand up for this man” Chester replied, gesturing at the bald man.
“That is not what I mean! And you know that!”
The older man then piped up himself. “I think ur right, this guy really doesn’t get northern conversation cues.” He joked to Chester before turning to Francis “That also means ‘Fuck off’ so could you please leave us be, I feel like this... person might be a much more interesting to chat with.”
“How dare you compare me to this little freak! You will pay for this insult.” He reached inside the sleeve of his robe and pulled out a small stick like the one that Albert had used during his act and brandished it at the pair.
By this point a sizable crowd had gathered around the three arguing individuals. There was a collective gasp as Francis sent a look filled with venom towards the pair. He barked suddenly. “Let’s see your little animals stop this. Fulbelos!”
A bolt of blue electricity launched itself out of the wand and rocketed towards Albert. Albert pulled his wand out of a small holster hung off his belt and started to move it upwards. Time seemed to slow and Chester could already see that he wasn’t going to be fast enough to stop the spell.
However, before the bolt made it even half way, a blue shield snapped into existence in the path of the spell. Splashing uselessly against it, the spell fizzled out.
“I know that I did not see what I just saw” another voice from inside the gathered crowd called out. Chester turned his head toward the source of this voice and saw a young woman pushing her way through the crowd. Her right hand was extended with her thumb and first two fingers splayed out. A dark metallic band strapped around her wrist glowed with blue runes. Her other hand held a wand of her own, much lighter than the two men’s, birch wood if Chester was right.
She had short cropped blonde hair and a number of silver piercings in each ear. Her outfit reminded Chester of the Victorian style fencing uniform that a pair of swordfighters that travelled with the circus favored. The main difference being the deep crimson color. A golden shield like badge adorned the left side of her chest and a line of gold buttons ran down the other side.
While her wand was pointed at the ground, a fools guard he had ever seen one. Chester had a feeling that it could be pointed right at any one of them before he could blink.
Francis suddenly looked significantly more nervous than he was before. “Captain Richards, how nice it is to see you. What is it you thought you saw? I was just defending myself from these… people.” He stated with forced sincerity.
“Don’t pull that with me Rowle, I saw the whole thing and I’ll be more than happy to provide the memory to the court. I fined you for Muggle baiting less than a week ago, don’t make me add assault to your record.”
“Of course not, Captain” He replied, stashing his wand back up his sleeve.
“You will come to my office at 3 o’clock tomorrow and explain why you did this, probably pay another fine. Or you can not come, I’m sure that Madam Bones would love an excuse to get a warrant for you and that mansion of yours. If you’re not in my office by 4 o’clock, there will be a dozen hit wizards breaking down your wards.” She stated as she let the glow of her bracelet fade, taking the floating shield with it. “Understood?”
“Understood.” He agreed as he started to walk away, the crowd parting as he left.
Captain Richards sheathed her wand in a black leather holster strapped around her left thigh. “Mark my words, that man will piss off the wrong person one day and end up dead in a ditch one day.”
“Thank you, Captain, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn't stepped in. I’m a lover, not a fighter.” Albert said with a laugh as he replaced his wand into its holster.
“It’s okay, It’s my job you know. Would be a terrible Auror if I just let people attack others on the street.” She stated “I’m gonna need your names for the report.”
Albert was the first to reply. “Names Albert Cove.”
“I presume you have a license to perform and collect money in the street?”
“Wouldn’t be much of a performer if I didn’t ma’am.”
“And you?” She asked Chester.
“Um my name is Winchester, most call me Chester though. I don’t have a license to perform in the street though.” He joked
Chuckling to herself, Richards replied “Most people don’t, but as you weren’t performing that’s hardly an issue. What’s your Surname?”
“Don’t have one, I’m jus Chester.”
“No family?”
“Not by blood.”
She looked at Chester with curiosity. “I presume that you are registered if you are walking around the alley so openly?”
Chester was not quite sure what she meant by this, he didn’t think that you needed to be registered to enter Diagon Alley. Guessing that it would have been mentioned in his Hogwarts letter if you needed to register, he presumed it was done by the school. “Yup, got my letter a couple weeks ago.”
“Ah, still in the honeymoon period, that explains a lot” She admits. “You really should be more careful walking around like that, people might take it the wrong way.”
“Your mouth didn’t help you any either.” Albert added. “I can’t say that you don’t have balls but if you keep running off on the wrong people like that you’ll be the one in the ditch.”
“Noted.” Chester replied.
“Alrighty then, if that’s all I’ll get back to my patrol.” The Captain stated.
“Good luck with the rest of your day Cappin.” Albert called after her as she walked away.
“You too old man!” she replied.
Chester gave a small wave in her direction to bid her goodbye.
“What did you want to talk to me about when you were waiting behind the twat?” Albert questioned, turning towards Chester.
Chester paused for a moment. “Honestly I have no idea. I did want to congratulate you on a brilliant performance and apologize for not being able to tip you. Although now I think about it that’s not really worth your time.” He looked sheepishly towards the ground before continuing nervously. “I do have to admit that I was planning on asking about a trick or two. However, after seeing how defensive about your secrets you were with that man I’m not so sure.”
“You an entertainer too?”
“Yup, I actually live in a circus.”
“That… makes a lot of sense.” His face broke out into a bright smile. “Lucky for you I’m more than willing to share, just not with cunts ya know? Maybe not the big ticket items but the little ones I’ll happily share with a fellow entertainer.” He explained. “Even one who doesn’t tip.” He added with mock disapproval in his voice.
“Hey, I do really want to, I just don’t really have any wizard money right now, it’s all still in good ol Great British pounds.”
“Ahhhh, that makes sense. And it gives me a brill idea of what to give ya.” The old man pulled the top hat off of his head and held it brim up in front of them. For a hat that Chester saw was full of coins not ten minutes ago, it was remarkably empty with not a coin to be seen. Nevertheless, as the mustached man reached inside, a large golden coin appeared in his grip. Placing the hat back onto the top of his head, Albert drew his wand and gave the coin a tap. The face on the side which Winston could see started to twist and warp until it resembled the of entertainer holding it, with a mustache even more magnificent than the one the man in front of him had.
Replacing the wand into his holster, the old man gave the coin a chaste kiss and held it as if to flip it. He flicked his thumb, launching it spinning into the air. As the coin spun, Chester’s eyes followed it curiously. At the very apex of its flight, the coin suddenly froze mid spin, floating in place above the man’s hands.
“This should do ya, make sure that yur not walking around with no money till you make it to Gringotts and pull some more money out of the bank.” Albert told Chester sarcastically. “It has a couple of other tricks but I’ll let you try figure them out on your own.” He explained with a smile before snatching the coin out of the air and tossing it at Chester. “See ya round, my knee high compatriot.” He called back as he walked away.
Most of the crowd had cleared at this point. There was only a couple of people still watching intently as Chester slipped the coin into his pocket to inspect more closely later on. Chester didn't really mind that much; he was quite used to people staring. What he did mind was how one of the women watching him was talking to her daughter.
“That’s why I don’t like you hanging out with that Hufflepuff girl, freaks always cause trouble.”
“He’s not hurting anyone Mom, what’s the problem?” The girl who Chester assumed was her daughter asked.
“Just look at him Lucy, walking around like… that.” The Mom replied. “Just asking for trouble. I can’t believe you would defend that thing. I won’t hear another word on this, you're breaking my heart.”
The girls eyes looked down at the ground, defeated. “Sorry Mom.”
‘How fucking dare she talk to her daughter like that.’ Chester thought with a scowl.
This turned out to be a bad decision. The girl lifted her head, ending up looking directly at Chester. Her eyes were shining with barely contained tears and her face was set in a unsettling blank mask. Chester face was not. The look on his face was one he tried to avoid for good reason. He was not a violent person but he knew full well he could be quite a scary if he wasn't careful. He was not careful enough today.
As this Lucy met his gaze, she lost the battle to contain her tears and broke down crying.
At this sight, her mother grabbed her sleeve and rushed her away towards the exit of the alley.
Making someone cry is a horrible experience, especially if that person is young or if it was an accident. When it is both… It can be soul crushing. Chester was already pretty emotionally exhausted from the confrontation with Francis and watching how the woman had acted towards her daughter. Seeing this girl break down crying at the very sight of him was the straw that broke the camels back. Spotting a small side alley not 20 paces away from where he was standing, he decided it was time to retreat.
Checking that none was watching him, he quickly disappeared into the poorly lit alley and hid around the first corner. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he tried to calm down. It was a slow process but he started to relax.
Which was why when an unknown voice suddenly broke the relative silence of the alley, he almost jumped out of his skin.
“What brings a wizard of such abilities as you to my little hole in the wall? Perhaps a little bit of a tickle? Maybe something a bit more? They do say that the smart ones are always the freaks, don’t they? Does that apply to males or is it just for females? Wait, are you even a male? I couldn’t tell either way, could I?”
Chester stood staring at the man that had just appeared in front of him. He stood at almost twice Chester’s height. This was not an unusual event but it did not help his nerves. He could barely think in his state of panic, never mind speak or move.
“We have a Maledictus squib on offer at the moment. She’s quite close to the full change and struggles to maintain her form but I’m sure someone like you won’t be particularly fussed by that. You could even buy her contract; she won’t be of much to any normal person for much longer”
Chester just managed to stutter out a response between the man’s rapid-fire speech. “N..N..No thanks.”
“Ah, such a shame. You would’ve had so much fun. She’s well broken in. But to each their own. Here, take my Floo card, jus in case you change yer mind you know?” He said as he handed Chester a small object.
Just as quickly as he appeared, the tall man vanished around a nearby corner, leaving Chester standing alone in the alley. ‘What the everloving fuck just happened? Was he a magic pimp? What the shit? He tried to sell me a prostitute?’ He thought.
Before his thoughts spun too far down this rabbit hole, he stopped this train of thought in its tracks. ‘Okay, clearly there is something really rotten here but I can’t do anything bout that.’
He inspected the item in his hand with some scrutiny. It was a small card, similar to a business card. It was made out of vibrant green paper with a large upwards pointing triangle printed on one side. Having no idea what it was for or how to do anything with it, Chester pulled out his wallet and put it into one of the back slots with the other business cards he had picked up over the years. Maybe next time he ran into the... police officer or whatever the captain was he could give it to them to sort out.
He stowed his wallet back into his pocket and took a few minutes to calm down before exiting the alley. There were still plenty of people staring at him but it was back down to a more normal level that he could cope with.
He decided to try and find this Gringotts bank that Francis had mentioned, hoping that he could open an account and maybe even change some of his pounds into these coins. Finding it really was not a hard task to accomplish considering the bank was a giant white marble building right in the center of the main alley with the name plastered on the front. It looked like the roman buildings he had seen in some history books complete with pillars and all. Even if it was a little bit crooked.
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs to the bank, taking a moment to gawk at the architecture. As he had already noticedthe entire building was wonky, walls leaning in odd directions and seemingly nothing was as square as you would expect.
Chester really wondered why they did that. If you had the technology and materials to build a building of this size you sure as hell would be able to make it straight. It was probably a design choice somewhere along the line. Why this choice was made was a mystery to him but he guessed that he didn’t know much about magic culture and he couldn’t really begin to understand the logic or lack thereof in their artistic ideas.
Two humanoid figures stood at guard at either side of the open doors on the front of the bank. Much shorter than most of the other people in the alley and with large hook noses, Chester did not think that they were fully human. They were dressed in deep green tunics with bright gold helmets. Chester was not entirely sure how effective a gold helmet would be with it being such a soft metal. At least their polearms were seemingly made of some kind of iron. The one on the left held a halberd and the other had a billhook.
While he felt quite nervous at the idea of walking past two heavily armed guards just to get into a bank, he really needed some usable money to get his supplies. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he made his way up the stairs.
The guards eyes snapped to him as he walked towards the door. He had somewhat expected this to happen but that barely prepared him for the sheer anger in their gazes. The men in the helmets definitely weren't fully human. Their noses protruded out of the helmets a solid couple inches and large wing-like ears jutted out of either side. Their heavily wrinkled faces twisted into a deep sneer as he approached.
“Wizard.” The one holding the billhook announced with an aggressive edge to his voice. “You can’t enter the bank like that, change back. Or else.”
“Um.” Chester stopped in his tracks as the polearms in the guards’ hands lowered to block the door in an x shape. “I can’t… change back… this is just how I am.”
“We understand that if you want to maintain this form for personal reasons but you will have to apply for permission to do that. It’s a necessary for security.”
“While I am surprised that you guys are so accepting, I’m afraid I can’t really change. I can’t be anything but you know, this and I really need to do some banking ” He said.
“Oh, yer cursed. That makes things a tad more complicated.” The other, halberd wielding, guard stated, gesturing to silence his angrier comrade before he continued his aggressive tirade. “Either way, you need teh see the head of security, get you a special exception.”
“I’m not cursed, this is jus how I am.”
“Okay, I don’t get paid nearly enough to deal with this shite. You can explain it to the Head and he can sort whatever... this is out”
“I keep telling you, don’t swear at the customers” The other guard interjected.
“He isn’t going to tell. Are ya?” The second guard asked Chester.
“Probably not, I ain’t no rat.” He replied
Both guards laughed out loud. “You sure as hell ain’t, monkey.” The second guard said.
Despite his instincts, Chester bit his lip about the monkey comment. One of the guards, the one with the billhook walked inside the bank. Chester stood awkwardly with the other guard. “so you’re naturally like that you say?”
“Pretty much.”
“Huh, fair.”
They stood in complete silence for quite a while longer. The other guard returned from inside the bank with another guard in tow, this one wielding a large axe-like polearm. A bardiche, according to the lessons the sword fighting couple from the circus had given Chester. They also wore the same tunic as the other two but with a set of golden pauldrons to match his helmet. The guard gestured silently for Chester to to follow him. He set off at a swift pace, impressive considering he was only a scant couple of inches taller than Chester. He was led through a giant, ornate room full of teller’s desks with queues of wizards lined up in front of them. The desks were staffed by people similar in stature and general looks to the guards. Chester guessed that they were probably a specific group or race that he had yet to deal with. The latest guard did not utter a word as he directed him to the back of the large room and through a door against the back wall. The door opened into a dark corridor with doors on either side of it. The guard walked a few doors down and knocked on one of them. A voice called from inside.
“Enter.”
The guard pushed open the door slowly. On the other side there was a small office, walls lined with shields, swords, polearms, axes and all manner of other weapons. There were more than a few paintings and shelves were mixed in but the majority of the wall was full of weapons.
At the other end of the room sat a large mahogany desk with another of the strangely shaped people sat behind it. This one was wearing not wearing a helmet, even if one sat on the desk in front of him. He had a set of pauldrons like the guard that Chester followed into the room. The main difference being the golden chest piece he also wore. As Chester crossed the threshold in to the room, a look of contemplation crossed the seated man’s face. He adjusted his wire rimmed glasses with long, spindle like fingers.
“My wizard detection wards were not triggered just then, Guard Leader. The one following you is no wizard. This means he is not an animagus.” He stated as he took off his glasses and placed them on the desk. “So can you tell me why on earth you have brought a… monkey to my office?” He asked, pinching the bridge of his long nose
At this comment, Chester decided he had had enough. He straightened to his full height of just over 4 feet and straightened the thick brown hair that ran down his arms. “Excuse me mate, I’m a chimpanzee. That is a type of great ape. I am not a monkey. I am an ape.”