Archive of Our Own

A knock sounded on the door, and Alex glanced up from where he had been scrolling through his phone, his brow furrowing, just slightly. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and his initial instinct was to hide and pretend like no one was home. 

Like the brave mid-40s man that he was.

But when the knock sounded again, there was an urgency to it, and Alex sighed before levering himself off of the sofa and heading to tell whomever was selling something at 8 o’clock on a Saturday night that he wasn’t interested, thank you.

Instead, he opened the door to find—

“Rhod?”

If you had asked Alex to list off the fifty most likely people to just show up out of the blue on his doorstep, Rhod Gilbert would not have made that list. And yet, here he was, bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Alex,” he said, with an officious sort of nod.

Alex stared at him. “What’re you—” He broke off, realising there was a more pertinent question, since Rhod had never been to his house, and Alex in fact doubted he’d ever even set foot in Chesham before. “How did you find me?”

“Tracked your scent,” Rhod said, in that infuriating way of making a joke that didn’t remotely sound like a joke.

“What?” Alex said, unsure if he was supposed to play into it or not.

“You’re not a difficult man to find,” Rhod said, which didn’t remotely answer the question. He peered over Alex’s shoulder before asking, “Are you going to let me in?”

Alex couldn’t think of a good – or at least, a polite – reason not to, so took a reluctant step back. “Er, I suppose, yeah,” he muttered. Rhod stepped into the house and on cue, Loky trotted up to check on the new arrival. “Oh, that’s Loky,” Alex told Rhod, trying to scoot her out of the way with his foot as he closed the door. “Don’t mind her, she’s friendly—”

But evidently his dog had chosen the worst possible time to try to assert some kind of misplaced dominance, doing a growly sort of yap at Rhod, who didn’t look particularly bothered by the reception. 

“What are you doing here, Rhod?”

Alex spoke loudly, over Loky’s barks, which were increasing in volume and shrillness, and Rhod just crossed his arms in front of his chest again. “It’s about Greg.”

“What?” Alex said, even louder, trying hard to contain his annoyance with his dog, which had appeared to have lost her mind.

Rhod huffed a sigh and then crouched down, and for a moment, Alex thought he might try to pet Loky, or offer her his hand to sniff, or something normal. Instead, Rhod just looked her in the eye and growled, his voice pitched lower, more gravelly than usual, “Enough.”

Immediately, Loky stopped barking, instead backing away before turning to run to her bed. Alex eyed Rhod warily as he straightened. “Impressive,” he offered, and Rhod just shrugged.

“I’ve dealt with a lot of dogs in my life,” he said, his lips twitching like it was a joke that Alex didn’t quite get.

“Right,” Alex said. “So you’re here because…”

He trailed off pointedly and Rhod sighed. “It’s about Greg,” he repeated, and Alex’s stomach dropped.

“Is he all right?” he asked, sharper than intended.

“No,” Rhod said with another sigh. “And since he’s too stubborn to do anything about it, I decided to take matters into my own hands.”

Alex chewed on his lower lip before asking, “Should I be worried?”

Rhod just shrugged. “Mostly for his sanity, such as it is,” he muttered. He gave Alex a searching look. “You know he hasn’t been sleeping?”

As much as Alex was sympathetic towards Greg’s insomnia, he couldn’t help but relax, just a little, because that wasn’t anything near as serious as the scenarios he’d been going through in his head. “Yeah, of course,” he said, hesitating before adding, “Not, er, sure what I can do to help, but if there’s anything…”

“No, that’s not—” Rhod broke off, scrubbing a hand across his mouth. “Fuck, I thought this would be easier,” he said, before glancing around. “Who all is here?”

“Just me at the moment,” Alex said, though he immediately regretted it based on the way Rhod brightened. “Why?”

Rhod didn’t answer, just brushing past Alex to glance around some more. “Right, well, I think a demonstration might be easier than trying to explain it,” he said briskly, finally turning back to Alex to ask, “Have you got a room with less windows?”

“Fewer,” Alex said automatically, before realising what Rhod had said. “Sorry, what?”

“Windows, mate, cheers,” Rhod said, clapping him on the shoulder as he strolled further into Alex’s house.

Alex trailed after him, trying and failing to think of how to stop Rhod from just walking into his house like he owned it. “I– Where are you going?”

Rhod stopped at the door to the room currently being used as Rachel’s home office, glancing at it and nodding. “This’ll do,” he said, stepping inside and gesturing for Alex to follow before closing the door behind him.

The door to Alex’s wife’s office, in the house that Alex and his wife owned, and even the limits of Alex’s politeness were just about being reached. “What will do?” he asked shortly.

“Hang on, it’ll be easier if I—”

Alex’s eyes widened as Rhod started unbuttoning his shirt. “What are you—” He broke off as Rhod shrugged his shirt off and started on his trousers. “Er, Rhod?”

Rhod ignored him, shoving his trousers down, and Alex immediately shut his eyes, not wanting to see whatever came next and trying to decide if Rhod Gilbert stripping naked in his wife’s office was some kind of nightmarish fever dream. There was a strange sort of tearing sound, but Alex kept his eyes squeezed shut. He’d already seen more of Rhod’s body than he had ever wanted to, and—

All of a sudden, he felt something cold and wet press against his hand and he instinctively flinched before realising that it felt almost like Loky’s nose. Cautiously, his eyes still closed, he reached out to feel the same wet cold as before, and even more cautiously, the fur that surrounded it.

He opened his eyes, and standing on Rhod’s discarded pile of clothes was now a massive wolf.

Alex had what he would later describe as a rational and measured reaction, which is to say that he let out a yelp, stumbled backward, promptly tripped over himself and landed square on his arse.

To add insult to injury, the wolf let out a huff of something that almost sounded like…amusement. Like a laugh. As if Alex tumbling over himself was hilarious.

Which, to be fair, it probably had been.

The wolf took a step towards him and Alex immediately scrambled backwards. The wolf paused, and Alex could have sworn that something like annoyance crossed its expression.

Something familiar, whatever it was, much in the same way the wolf’s fur was a familiar shade of brown shot through with grey, and its eyes were—

Alex froze. It didn’t make any sense, and yet…

“Rhod?”

His voice came out oddly high-pitched and more than a little wobbly, but the wolf– but Rhod’s mouth opened and his tongue lolled out in a sort of grin, and then without warning, he bounded over and licked Alex’s cheek. “Yuck,” Alex said, wrinkling his nose, and then he was laughing at how absurd this entire situation was. 

Alex wasn’t a person prone to flights of fancy, which was probably why his laughter was tinged with hysteria. Because Rhod had, seemingly, based on all evidence presented, turned into a wolf. Which, last Alex checked, not that he frankly ever had, should have been impossible outside of fairy stories.

But when presented with all the irrefutable evidence, the feel of the wolf’s fur under his fingers, the huff of the wolf’s breath against his hand as Rhod tried to get him to pet his head, the sound of Rhod’s slight panting, that was the only conclusion that Alex could come to.

He managed to sit up slightly, reaching out automatically to scratch Rhod behind the ears like he would with a dog, even if the dog in question was about three times the size as usual and with far sharper teeth, but that thought just had him laughing again because this was a wolf. Rhod was a wolf. And that meant he was a—

“A Welsh werewolf in Chesham,” Alex said, giggling. “Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as An American Werewolf in London, does it?”

Rhod gave him a flat, unamused look, and if anything, that had Alex falling about with laughter all over again.

When he recovered yet again, Alex wiped his tears of somewhat less hysterical laughter than before from his cheeks and cleared his throat. “Can you, er, go back to being, erm, human?”

Rhod winked, which was something Alex never thought he’d witness a wolf do, not that he also thought he’d ever have a wolf sitting in his house either, and a moment later, Rhod was human again.

And absolutely starkers.

Alex groaned and covered his face with both hands as Rhod laughed. “Sorry, sorry,” Rhod said, assumedly – hopefully – getting dressed, and a moment later, he said, “All right, you can open your eyes now.”

Peering between his fingers first to make sure Rhod was in fact fully clothed, Alex finally lowered his hands, trying not to stare at him. And failing, judging by the way Rhod huffed and ducked his head. “Still just me,” he said, a little uncomfortably.

“Just you,” Alex repeated, incredulous. “Tell that to– to– to Balto here.”

Rhod cocked his head, amused. “Balto?”

“I couldn’t think of a famous wolf,” Alex muttered, feeling his ears turn red.

Rhod grinned, and Alex eyes flickered automatically to his teeth, remembering far too well how ferociously sharp they’d been just moments before. “Balto,” he repeated, shaking his head. “Can’t tell if I should be flattered or concerned that your only thought upon finding out I can turn into a wolf is what famous wolf you’re going to compare me to.”

“Not my only thought by a long stretch,” Alex told him.

“But the most pressing.”

Alex didn’t bother denying it, instead trying to sort through the literal hundreds of questions he could feel coursing through his mind. As much as wanted to know more about Rhod’s…condition, so to speak, there was also the fact that Rhod had, ostensibly, shown him all of this because it somehow related to Greg.

He shook his head and decided to start at the beginning. “How long have you been a…”

He trailed off, not sure of the proper term, and Rhod shrugged, perching on the edge of the desk. “Whole life. Least as long as I can remember.”

“So you weren’t, er, bitten?”

Again with the fairy stories, but thankfully Rhod just shook his head. "Nah that’s a myth. It’s a born, not made, thing.”

Alex hesitated. “And what does any of this have to do with Greg?”

Rhod just gave him a look. “Really putting that Oxbridge education to work, then.”

Alex flushed. “He’s also a werewolf?” he asked, his voice breaking just slightly on the ‘wolf’ part of ‘werewolf’.

“Shifter,” Rhod said, and Alex blinked at him.

“Pardon?”

“Shifter,” Rhod repeated. “Like shapeshifter. It’s the more accurate term.”

It hadn’t occurred to Alex that there might be a preferred term, that there were enough werew– shifters for there to be some kind of consensus on terminology. “Oh,” he said, his voice small, hesitating again before his curiosity got the better of him. “More accurate…?”

Rhod raised both eyebrows. “Because not every shifter turns into a wolf, do they,” he said, as if it was obvious. He scratched the side of his neck as he thought about it before adding, “Probably is most common, though.”

“What does Greg turn into?”

It hadn’t been the question that Alex had intended on asking, but once he said it, he realised he really did want to know. Rhod, however, just shrugged. “Not my place to tell.”

Alex frowned. “Is it a puma?” he guessed.

Rhod barked a laugh. “Christ, he wishes,” he said, grinning. “Still not telling, though.”

Not that Alex had expected him to give it up so quickly, but… He shook his head slowly, trying to piece together everything that Rhod had told him – and shown him – thus far. “So Greg is a– a shifter,” he said, and Rhod nodded. “And this somehow relates to why he hasn’t been sleeping well, or what have you.” Another nod. ”And all of that, somehow, relates to…me?”

Rhod’s grin faded. “Yeah,” he said. “And this is the part of the conversation you should really have with him, but he’s a stubborn twat who clearly thinks if he just ignores a problem long enough it’ll go away—”

“So you’re going to explain it for him,” Alex interrupted, sensing Rhod was headed into one of his patented Rhod Gilbert rants.

“As best I can, anyway,” Rhod said with a sigh. He paused, clearly trying to figure out how best to proceed. “Right, so, shifters turn into animals.”

“Got that, yeah,” Alex said, unable to stop himself.

Rhod gave him a look. “Greg may not mind when you get chopsy but I’m not nearly as forgiving.”

Alex tried very hard not to laugh. “Sorry.”

“Sincerity is clearly one of your strong suits,” Rhod grumbled before taking a deep breath and continuing, “Anyway, yeah, shifters, animals, you get it.” He waved a dismissive hand. “Traditionally at the full moon, sure you’ve put that together – honestly surprised you didn’t notice Greg’s filming schedule never falls over the full moon, seems like the sort of thing you’d pick up on—”

The thought had also occurred to Alex, and he shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t handle his scheduling,” he pointed out. “I’m not actually his assistant.”

Rhod just gave him a flat look. “Still, over nine years and you didn’t once notice you’ve never recorded with him during the full moon?”

“I’m not much one for astronomy,” Alex muttered.

“Fair enough,” Rhod said with a shrug. He paused again, assumedly gathering his thoughts once more. “And the thing of it is, being an animal is…easy.” He made a face. “Mostly. You’re still mostly you but it’s like a part of your brain gets turned off. For me, and for Greg, it’s the part of our brain where our anxiety and inhibitions live, so it’s like a little mental holiday sometimes.”

“Sounds nice,” Alex offered.

Rhod shrugged. “It can be. But our anxieties and inhibitions are part of what make us human, aren’t they?”

Alex hesitated, unsure if Rhod was actually asking. “Bit of a philosophical question—”

“It’s not just philosophical,” Rhod said, something sharp in his voice, something that hinted this was the crux of the issue he’d been beating around for quite some time now. “Sometimes, it can feel easier to stay as an animal. And the longer a shifter stays as an animal, the harder it becomes to shift back.”

“I see,” Alex said, even though he didn’t, not really, but because he felt like he had to say something.

Rhod nodded. “And that’s why—” He broke off, hesitating, and shifted uncomfortably before asking, with a tone of deep regret, “Did you ever see the Twilight movies? Or read the books, I guess.”

Alex stared at him. “Seeing as how I was a thirty-year-old man when the first Twilight movie came out—”

“You never know!” Rhod protested, holding his hands up defensively. “Rachel might’ve been into ‘em.” 

And she very well may have at some point but thankfully for all parties involved, if she’d had a Twilight phase, she had also had the sense to keep it to herself. “Is there a point to this?” Alex asked, with just a hint of impatience, still waiting for Rhod to get to whatever he was getting at.

Rhod sighed. “Unfortunately, yes,” he said. “Because it’d be easier to explain your role in this if you knew what imprinting was.” He eyed Alex warily for a moment before telling him, “Basically, every shifter has a human who acts as his anchor.”

“Anchor?” Alex repeated.

Rhod nodded. “Someone to, well, anchor them to being human. Someone who reminds them they’re not an animal. There’s sort of a, erm, instant bond that forms between an anchor and a shifter. And the stronger the bond between anchor and shifter, the easier it is for a shifter to shift back. Some of those with the strongest bonds don’t even need to shift at all, even during the full moon.”

Considering everything else that Alex had witnessed that evening, this was on the less fantastical end of the spectrum, so he just shrugged and said, sceptically, still waiting for the other shoe to drop, “Ok…”

Rhod looked distinctly uncomfortable. “For most shifters, their first anchor is one of their parents, unless both their parents are also shifters. And then typically sometime after they hit adulthood, their anchor, er, changes.”

He couldn’t quite meet Alex’s eyes when he said that, and Alex felt something sink deep in his stomach. “To…?”

“Depends on the person,” Rhod said with a shrug, still not looking at Alex. “Frequently a stranger, which is bloody awkward, let me tell you. Sian was practically chasing me around a pub after our anchor bond happened, and I had to hide in the loo…”

He trailed off at the look on Alex’s face. “But, er, back to Greg, I s’pose. His anchor was his dad, and for him, it stayed that way until his dad died, which is rare but not, y’know, fully unheard of.”

Alex winced at the thought of losing not just his father but a person vitally important to being a– a shifter. “Christ, that had to have been hard.”

Rhod jerked a nod, his own expression tight as if remembering something Alex wasn’t privy to. “Yeah,” he muttered. “It was.” He took a deep breath and finally met Alex’s eyes. “But then, well, you happened.”

Alex stared at him. “Me?” he repeated, his brow furrowing. “But Greg and I already knew each other…”

They had, having met on the circuit like everyone else, even if they hadn’t really been friends at that point. And of course he had already approached Greg about Taskmaster – hell, they had to have already shot that disastrous pilot that thankfully never saw the light of day by the time Greg’s dad died. And not once had there ever been any inkling that there was something more or deeper going on than just two near strangers figuring out the dynamics of a new television show. Certainly not, well, whatever it was Rhod was hinting at.

Rhod just nodded. “Yeah, that’s why I said frequently a stranger, but not always.” 

He said it almost apologetically, and Alex closed his eyes for a moment, having long since put together what Rhod seemed incapable of actually saying fully aloud. “And that’s when Greg imprinted on me,” he said, just to confirm it for what little remained of his own sanity.

“More or less.”

Alex opened his eyes. “Like a werewolf from Twilight.”

“Or like a baby duck, I s’pose, if it’s easier for you,” Rhod said in what he seemed to think was a helpful way. “I know you’ve got a weird thing for ducks. Not as weird as your thing for pineapples, but—”

Alex sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Rubber ducks,” he said tiredly. “Not really the same thing.” 

Rhod snorted. “Of all the things to get pedantic about now, mate—”

“Does that mean he’s in love with me?” Alex hadn’t intended on saying it quite like that, and he hurried to add, “Like is it some kind of– some kind of soulmate thing?”

Once again, Rhod didn’t quite meet his eyes as he scratched his beard, distinctly uncomfortable. “Ah. Well. Think that’s really more between you and him.”

Which wasn’t exactly the firm denial Alex had been hoping for. “I’m married,” he said, as if Rhod, or the universe, he supposed, needed the reminder.

“Yeah.”

“Happily married.”

Rhod just shrugged. “Be easier if you weren’t,” he said bracingly. “Why d’you think he hasn’t said anything?” He gave Alex a look. “Course, I think we all thought you’d’ve figured it out by now anyway.”

Alex frowned. “How would I have figured it out?” he asked, almost laughing again at the idea that he would, somehow, have worked out that Greg Davies was a were-whatever, let alone that they had some kind of bond tied to that.

But Rhod didn’t look remotely amused. “Bond goes both ways, mate,” he said instead, completely serious, and Alex again felt his stomach give a little flip. “Sian can explain your side of things better than I can, but there’s sort of an…awareness of the other person.” He hesitated, tracing a finger across the desk as he added, aiming for something like casual and missing by a mile, “And a need to be, er, close to them. A, er, comfort when you’re with them. That sort of thing.”

It was Alex’s turn to look away from Rhod, trying very hard not to flush. He did feel a bit of that for Greg, but it was the same as with any of his friends.

Wasn’t it?

“Is it always romantic?” Alex asked. “Or, er, whatever?”

“Obviously not always, mate, if a shifter’s first anchor is a parent,” Rhod said with a dry laugh that quickly faded. “But, for an adult shifter…” He winced. “Well, like I said, it’d be easier if you weren’t married.”

But Alex was married. Which meant this was a whole can of worms that he’d wished had just stayed closed. 

At least, until he remembered that this all stemmed from Greg, from whatever was wrong with Greg, which he suspected went deeper than just a spot of insomnia, and his stomach twisted. Even if– no, even though there wasn’t any kind of bond between him and Greg, anchor or soulmates or whatever, Greg was still his friend, and if there was something Alex could do to help…

He straightened. “Right,” he said, mind made up. “Come on.”

He opened the door to Rachel’s office and gestured for Rhod to lead the way. But Rhod hung back, his brow furrowed. “What?”

“We’re going to see Greg.”

Rhod blinked. “Oh,” he said, a little stupidly. “Why?”

Alex gave him a look. “Because I think this is a conversation I’m better off having with him, don’t you?”

Rhod considered it for a moment. “S’pose.”

Alex nodded, heading to grab his car keys on the hook before he saw Loky’s lead hanging up next to him. “Oh, shit, the dog—”

“I’ll sort her,” Rhod said, and Alex just shrugged, going to grab his wallet and coat.

A few minutes later, Rhod joined him outside, and Alex glanced at him. “Where’s your car?” he asked as he locked the house.

“I didn’t drive.”

“Oh.” Alex’s brow furrowed before realisation hit. “Oh, you mean, you…” He trailed off, giving Rhod an appraising look. “All the way here?”

He didn’t mean to sound as incredulous as he did, but Rhod wasn’t exactly known for his athleticism, and that was before the cancer and what not. 

But Rhod just shrugged. “It was a good night for a run.”

Alex shook his head before asking, his curiosity again getting the better of him, “What did you do with your clothes?”

Rhod grinned. “Tell you about it on the drive, shall I?”

But Rhod avoided talking much about his own shifting on the drive to London, giving short, noncommittal answers before steering the conversation back to Greg, and Alex knew by that alone just how worried Rhod was for the man. For his part, as overwhelmed and, frankly, in disbelief as he still was, he was happy to let Rhod control the conversation, even if he did keep bringing up the anchor thing.

And repeated, multiple times, that it would be easier if Alex wasn’t married.

By the time they got to Greg’s, based on all of Rhod’s rambling, Alex was less certain that this was a good idea, but there wasn’t any point in turning around, no matter how much he might have wanted to.

Instead, he punched the buzzer for Greg’s flat with a confidence he definitely lacked. “Yeah?” Greg’s voice crackled across the intercom, and he sounded even more tired than the last time Alex had spoken with him.

“It’s Alex,” Alex said.

A beat, and then Greg buzzed him in, which Alex appreciated – he hadn’t yet figured out how he was going to explain why he was here in the first place.

Greg opened his flat door as soon as Alex got to the top of the stairs, his brow furrowed in confusion. “Alex?” he said, taking a step towards him, then stopping, his nose wrinkling. “You smell like dog.”

Alex blinked and glanced down at himself. “Oh, well, I was just with Loky not that long ago—”

“No, you smell like—” Greg broke off as his eyes fell on Rhod coming up the stairs behind Alex. “You!” Without warning, he burst out of his door, grabbing Rhod by the arm and shoving him against the wall, pinning him there. “What did you do?” he growled.

“Greg, stop!” Alex burst, eyes widening at the only display of physical violence he’d ever seen from Greg, but to his surprise, Rhod didn’t look remotely bothered, let alone hurt, despite Greg leaning just about the entirety of his weight against his chest.

“Did what you should’ve done ages ago,” he shot back, wriggling against Greg’s grip. “And just like I told you he would be, he was fine. Only had a minor freak out when he first saw me—”

Greg’s expression darkened. “You shifted in front of him?” In an instant, his hand flew from Rhod’s chest to his throat, and Alex couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever noticed just how large Greg’s hands were. “Without anyone else there?” Greg growled, enraged. “Have you lost your fucking mind? You could have killed him, you fucking—”

“He was perfectly safe,” Rhod managed despite the hand surely pressing against his windpipe, though there was something of a dog-like whine in his voice. “I’d never fucking hurt him, you know that—”

“All it would have taken is one slip of control—”

“And I’m not the one who’s a danger to him!” Rhod snapped.

At once, all the fight left Greg, and he released Rhod, who slumped forward before catching himself and straightening. Alex did his best to stand up as straight as possible as Greg turned to face him. “You should go,” Greg said, not quite meeting his eyes.

But Alex didn’t budge. “No.”

Greg’s eyes narrowed. “Sorry?”

“No,” Alex repeated. “I’m not leaving.” He glanced from Greg to Rhod and back again, daring either of them to argue with him on this. “I don’t fully understand everything that’s happening here, but you owe me an explanation.”

For one moment, it looked like Greg would argue, but then he sighed, looking suddenly exhausted. “Fine, inside,” he said, gesturing half-heartedly. “Don’t need my neighbours overhearing this.”

Alex nodded and headed past Greg inside. But when Rhod made to follow him, Greg stepped in front of him, his expression hardening. “Not you,” he said, the growl back in his voice.

“Don’t give me that look,” Rhod said. “I’m not leaving either.”

“Rhodri,” Greg said, his voice low, dangerous.

Rhod met his glare with one of his own. “Gregory.” For one long moment neither man moved, staring each other down, until Rhod told Greg, his voice soft, “You’d never forgive me, mate.”

Something tightened in Greg’s expression and he looked away. “Fine,” he said, defeated. “But we don’t need a chaperone. You stay out here.”

He pointed at the sofa in the living room and Rhod rolled his eyes as he slunk past Greg. “Fine,” he shot back. “I can hear everything you say anyway.”

“Prick,” Greg grumbled, finally looking at Alex. “C’mon.”

He took Alex’s arm, steering him further into the flat, and Alex glanced up at him. “Where are we going?”

“Bedroom,” Greg told him. “So that I can shut the door.”

Alex was fairly sure the latter wasn’t aimed at him, and he was proven correct as Rhod called after them, “Won’t stop me from listening.”

Greg just rolled his eyes as he shut his bedroom door, scrubbing a hand across his face as he sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. He lowered his hand to look up at Alex. “Hi,” he said with a sigh before managing a wry smile and asking, “How are you?”

Alex could feel the hysterical laughter bubbling in his chest, but managed to tamp it down, mostly. “Well, Rhod Gilbert showed up at my house, unannounced, took off all his clothes, and then turned into a massive wolf.” He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “So there’s that.”

“Standard Saturday evening, then,” Greg said and Alex honked a laugh. Greg leaned back and patted the bed next to him. “Come on, sit down, I don’t bite.”

But Alex didn’t move, eyeing him carefully. “Was what Rhod said true?”

Greg scowled. “If you think you can trust a word from that bellend’s mouth—”

“About you being a danger to me.”

“Oh.” Greg looked stricken as he inevitably realised why Alex hadn’t yet sat down by him. “Yes. Not– never purposefully.”

Alex had never doubted that. “I know that.”

Greg swallowed and looked away. “But it’s been – hard. Lately.” He shrugged, glancing up at Alex as if gauging his reaction. “I’ve been…accidentally shifting, when I don’t mean to, when it’s not the full moon. Sometimes just a random body part, and let me tell you, you haven’t known panic until you’ve been round the Marks and Spencer picking up a gift for your mum and suddenly realise you’re sprouting claws.” Alex didn’t laugh like he’d clearly been aiming for and Greg sighed and looked away again. “And sometimes the full way, which isn’t exactly a treat either.”

But Alex was still stuck on the concept of Greg with claws, and blurted, “What do you—” before cutting himself off. “Sorry, it’s probably rude to ask.”

Greg cocked his head. “Go on.”

“What type of animal do you become?”

“Rhod didn’t tell you?” Greg asked, surprised.

Alex shook his head. “Said it wasn’t his place.”

“That twat,” Greg said, but it was with clear affection, and from the living room, too far away for human ears, Rhod shouted, “I heard that, you prick.”

Greg rolled his eyes, still affectionate. “Loyal as a dog, he is.”

Alex hummed. “Loyal as the dog he is, I think you mean.”

Greg grinned. “That too.” Something tightened in his expression and he looked away. “But you’ve seen him,” he said, a little roughly. “You saw him shift. How easy he was able to come out of it. It hasn’t been that way for me, recently. Coming out of it.”

“Shifting back into being human,” Alex said, for the first time perching on the edge of the bed next to Greg..

Greg nodded. “And because of that, sometimes I’m not…me.” He pulled a face. :And I don’t react to things as me. I react as if I’m a– the animal, because for all intents and purposes, in those moments, I am.”

Considering how absurd this whole situation was, there was a certain logic to it that Alex could accept. So instead of commenting on that, he asked, “Why don’t you want to tell me what you shift into?”

Greg winced. “It’s embarrassing, innit?”

Alex leaned over to nudge him gently. “I already guessed puma, but Rhod said it wasn’t that.”

“Prick,” Greg grumbled. “He should’ve just lied, it’d be more impressive.”

Alex laughed lightly. “Think I might notice when you turn into an animal that isn’t a puma.”

But Greg didn’t smile. “Who’s to say that I’ll ever let you see me as anything other than a human?”

“The fact you’re half-shifting in the Marks and Spencer, for starts.”

Alex said it calmly, and Greg scowled at him. “Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are?”

“Yes,” Alex said. “All the time. I made an entire TV show around it. You might’ve heard of it, used to be on Dave, now it’s on Channel 4—”

“Fuck off,” Greg said with a sigh. He eyed Alex for a long moment before huffing another sigh and saying, reluctantly, “Fine, but if I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh at me.”

Alex just gave him a look. “Greg, I just found out that werewolves are real,” he said, with what little patience he had left. “I can promise you, I’m not in a particularly laughing mood right now.”

Greg managed a noise that sounded half like a sigh, half like laughter. “Fine,” he said. “A bear.”

Alex blinked. “Sorry?”

Greg’s scowl deepened. “I shift into a bear. A big, fat, lazy bear, which is just painfully on the nose, if I’m being honest.”

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, the movement not doing much to dispel the bear imagery. “It makes sense,” Alex said slowly, before adding, at the look on Greg’s face, “About the claws and concerns for my well-being, I mean.”

Greg didn’t look like he quite believed that was all Alex had meant, but he nodded anyway. “Right, yeah. I doubt you’ve gone toe to toe with a bear before, but I feel like I don’t need to remind you that I could do real damage.”

Alex nodded slowly. “Seems like a bit of a defect in nature if you’d be able to hurt your anchor when you’re an animal.”

He said the word casually but Greg still immediately glanced at him and away again, a slight flush rising in his cheeks. “Seems like a lot of this is a defect in nature, doesn’t it,” he muttered, glancing at Alex again. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t– I didn’t plan on any of this happening. Didn’t plan on ever involving you, let alone telling you, but, well, nature’s defects and such.”

“Because of the difficulty with your shifting?” Alex asked, his brow furrowing.

Greg nodded. “It’s not like there’s doctors for this sort of thing – can you imagine me having to explain this to the NHS? I mean, Christ – but this can apparently happen.” He couldn’t meet Alex’s eyes. “When you…neglect the bond with your anchor.”

Alex swallowed. “Is that what you’ve been doing?”

“Not deliberately,” Greg said, with a slight hesitation that told Alex it was a lie. “But as soon as I knew it was you…” He winced. “Look, I’d rather fuck off and live as a bear for the rest of my life than ruin yours.”

“Don’t think I want that,” Alex said softly.

But Greg just shook his head. “For a long time, doing the show, becoming your friend…that was enough. But then it…wasn’t.”

Alex exhaled sharply. “Rhod said it was easier when you’re married or at least, you know, with your anchor. Because you feel so strongly about that person, because that person is so vital to you, and it’s easier when that’s wrapped up in love and– and sex and whatever.”

He knew he went pink at that, but Greg just stared ahead of him, his brow furrowed. “I don’t know if easier is how I’d put it.”

“How would you put it?” Alex asked, curious.

“I mean, it’s…” Greg sighed and shook his head. “When there’s one person in the world who matters most, who keeps you human, it’s almost impossible not to want to be with that person in every way possible.”

Alex was suddenly aware of just how closely he and Greg were sitting, aware of the heat radiating from Greg’s thigh pressed against his own, and he tried to stay as still as possible. “Is that what you want from me?”

Greg glanced sideways at him. “Pretty sure marriage is off the table at this point, mate. Unless you’ve been keeping something from me as well.”

Alex frowned. “I’m being serious.”

“So’m I,” Greg said flatly. “You’re married. To a wonderful woman, I might add, and I have no desire to get in the middle of that.”

“But you’re going to.”

Alex hadn’t meant for that to come out as sullen as it did, and he immediately regretted it as he watched a pained expression flash across Greg’s face. “Against my will and yours,” Greg said softly. “But yes, the rest of it…I would want that. If I thought it was an option.”

Alex had to swallow his immediate, instinctive ‘big if’, knowing it would make things worse than he intended. Instead, he asked quietly, “And if it’s not?”

Greg jerked a shrug. “I don’t know. This is uncharted territory, mate.” He managed something like a smile as he nudged Alex in turn. “Honestly, just the fact that you know – it’s like I can breathe again. So maybe it’ll be enough, now that you know. Beyond that…” He trailed off, his expression falling, just slightly. “I’d take whatever you can give me, but I’m not asking for anything beyond our friendship.” He paused before adding, “Assuming you still want to be friends with someone who could, theoretically, turn into a bear without warning and eat you.”

Alex managed a real smile. “Think I’ll take my chances on that one.”

Greg smiled as well before asking, “What about you?”

“Sorry?” Alex said, confused.

“I’m sure Rhod told you that the bond goes both ways,” Greg said, and Alex swallowed. “So if there’s anything you want or need from me…”

He trailed off and Alex looked away, feeling himself flush. “You keep saying– you and Rhod both, that I’m supposed to feel something of this bond, but I don’t. I never have.” He looked back at Greg, hurrying to add, “Other than being your friend, of course, and obviously growing closer over the course of filming and such, but…”

But Greg just frowned slightly as he tapped his lips thoughtfully. “Once a month or so, does your anxiety spike, worse than usual?”

Alex’s brow furrowed. “Probably more than once a month, if I’m being honest, but—”

“No, I mean, like proper,” Greg interrupted. “Like you toss and turn and can’t sleep one night in particular, and then the next morning, it’s fine? Like whatever was weighing on you has disappeared?”

He’d never stopped to think about it that way, but now that he did, Alex for the first time noticed that it did seem to occur at least once a month. “I– yeah, I suppose.”

Greg nodded ruefully. “Right, that’s me.” Alex raised his eyebrows and Greg amended, “My fault, I should say.” He pulled a face before explaining, “Full moon. The lead up to it isn’t fun.” He shook his head before glancing at Alex. “It’s not a one to one thing. You won’t read my thoughts or what have you. But flashes of emotions, especially really strong ones…” Alex nodded slowly, even if he wasn’t sure he believed it, and Greg added, “And it doesn’t help that I’ve been doing everything in my power to not put anything into the bond.”

“Why?” Alex asked, startled.

Greg frowned at him. “Did you miss the part where you’re married? Plus you didn’t ask for this, didn’t ask to have some kind of bond with me, or to have my stupid feelings bouncing around your head, or—”

“Neither did you,” Alex told him.

“True,” Greg said quietly. “But it’s not been so bad from my end of it. Which isn’t always the case.” He cracked a smile. “Did Rhod tell you about him and Sian?”

Alex shook his head. “Something about him hiding in the loo, I was a little preoccupied if I’m honest.”

Greg’s smile faded, just slightly. “Well, the way I see it, I owe you one for how well you’ve taken all of this. So I’ll ask one more time – is there anything you need from me?”

Alex almost said ‘no’, but the word stuck in his throat, and instead, what he said was, “I think– I need to see you. As a bear.”

Greg recoiled, his eyes widening. “What? No.”

“Greg—”

“Did you miss the part where I could kill you?” Greg asked, standing and striding across the room as if he needed to put distance between himself and Alex.

Alex frowned. “I don’t think you will.”

Greg glowered at him. “You have a higher opinion of me than I deserve.”

“Maybe,” Alex said. “Doesn’t change that I think it’s worth the risk.”

“It’s not.”

Greg said it curtly, dismissively, and Alex stood as well, trying to figure out how to explain to Greg why it was absolutely worth the risk, and not just because Alex had never really placed a high value on his own safety. “I need to see you. I need it to be real for me to understand it and begin processing it.” Greg didn’t look convinced, and Alex added, “Besides, isn’t that why Rhod stayed? In case you shifted, to stop you from accidentally hurting me?”

He wasn’t sure he’d fully put that together until now, but as soon as he said it, he knew it was true. Greg shook his head. “Like the bellend could stop me,” he grumbled. “You might’ve noticed, I’m a bit bigger than him, and same’s true when I’m a bear.”

Greg held his arms out to his sides, but Alex just crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Still. I think he could do enough damage to keep you at bay if it came to it. He’s scrappy.” Greg shook his head and Alex reached out to rest a hand on his arm. “Why don’t you want me to see you? And don’t give me the danger thing, it’s more than that, I know it is.”

“And I thought you couldn’t feel the bond,” Greg muttered, glancing down at where Alex’s hand remained on his arm..

Alex shook his head. “Don’t know that I can. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s true, or that you’re deflecting.”

Greg sighed. “I just…I already look like this,” he mumbled. “I don’t think seeing me as a literal bear is going to help matters for me.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Alex asked, and when Greg just shook his head again, he took a step towards him and said quietly, “Please, Greg.”

Greg met his eyes, and after a moment, he exhaled. “Fine,” he said, too soft to be his usual grumpy acquiescence. “Turn around.”

“Why—” Alex suddenly remembered every excruciating moment leading up to Rhod shifting before and immediately turned around. “Oh, right.”

He heard rather than saw Greg cover his face with his hand. “Jesus Christ, did Rhod strip in front of you?” he asked with a groan.

“If you’ve got a better way of doing it, I’m all ears, mate,” Rhod called from the living room, and Alex’s shoulders shook with a laugh he couldn’t quite contain.

“Fuck off,” Greg shouted back at Rhod before taking a deep breath and telling Alex, “Right, I’ll let you know when to turn around.”

Alex nodded before realising he probably should’ve asked Greg to be more specific. “How– Oh.”

Like before, something cold pressed against his hand, but it moved away too quickly for Alex to really touch it.

Slowly, Alex turned around. Just like with Rhod, Greg was no longer there. But instead of the massive wolf, Greg had been replaced by an even more colossal bear, its fur the same colour as Greg’s hair, its eyes that same steely blue-grey.

Alex hesitated, then reached out with trembling fingers, tracing the tips of his fingers down Greg’s muzzle, taking an automatic step towards him. Greg stayed stock still as Alex reached his cheek, then his neck, then his broad shoulders. Hesitating for only a second more, Alex took a step closer and put his arms awkwardly around Greg’s neck. “See?” he said. “I’m fine. And you– you’re perfect as a bear.”

Greg let out a low huffing noise but Alex didn’t let go of him, just tightening his grip on the thick, shaggy fur. “I mean it,” he said firmly.

Again Greg let out that huffing noise, but it seemed warmer somehow. Then he shook his massive head and Alex finally let go. Greg touched his nose to Alex’s forehead before lowering his muzzle to gently prod Alex’s stomach, turning him back to face the wall, and Alex closed his eyes, letting out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

A few moments later, he felt Greg’s hand on his shoulder, and he turned to face him, both men standing so closely together that their chests were practically touching. Greg hesitated, then lifted his hand from Alex’s shoulder, cradling his cheek instead, his broad thumb tracing along Alex’s cheek much in the same way Alex had just touched Greg’s muzzle.

Then, wordlessly, he pulled Alex into a tight embrace.

Alex had been hugged by Greg many times before, but it had never felt quite like this. He ducked his chin, resting his head against Greg’s chest, slipping his own arms around Greg’s waist to pull him even closer, as if he could feel all of him, every inch that made him human.

After a moment, Greg pulled back, just slightly, tilting Alex’s chin up with his hand. “Alex…” he murmured, his eyes searching Alex’s.

Alex knew that it would take nothing to close the space between them, to reach up and kiss him. They had done that before as well, and even as a joke, it felt as easy as breathing. 

And pulling away was the hardest thing he’d ever done. “I can’t,” he whispered, swallowing hard. “Not—”

“You don’t have to—” Greg said quickly, but Alex just shook his head and squeezed his arm.

“Not yet, at least,” he told him, his voice low. “I need to talk to Rachel, and I need to– to figure out what I want.”

Greg searched his expression for a moment longer. “Like I said, I’ll take anything you can give me.”

Alex’s chest felt tight. “I know.” He cleared his throat. “You’ll be ok?”

Greg managed a smile. “Always am,” he said, with a hint of his usual bravado.

Alex didn’t quite manage a smile in return. “But you haven’t been lately, have you?” he murmured.

“How well you already know me,” Greg said with a sigh before his hand found Alex’s and he squeezed. “We’ll figure it out.”

“I know.” 

“Bit like a task, innit?” Greg said gently, and Alex half-smiled. “Little bit of lateral thinking and we’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Alex said quietly. “We will be.”

Alex tilted his head up, closing his eyes and trying not to shiver as the cool night breeze in the garden rushed past him. He heard footsteps but didn’t turn, even as Rachel slipped an arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

“You all right?” she asked quietly. “These past few weeks…”

She didn’t finish the thought, but she didn’t really have to. Alex knew exactly what she meant. 

“I’m fine,” he told her, before adding, or amending, “I’ll be fine.”

Rachel just searched his face for a long moment. “When you’re ready to talk, you know I’m here.”

Alex nodded. “I know,” he said, bending down to kiss her forehead. “Just…not yet.”

She squeezed his hand. “Don’t stay too long out here,” she told him. “It’s getting cold.”

“I’ll be in soon,” he promised. He watched her head back towards the house before turning to look back up at the full moon hanging bright and heavy in the surprisingly clear sky.

Bright, heavy, and full of the promise of something he hadn’t even realised he’d been looking for.

A small half-smile lifted the corner of his mouth when he heard the faint noise of something that sounded almost like a wolf howl. He knew, even though he had no idea how he knew, that Greg – and Rhod assumedly, based on the howl – was close. And that was a strangely comforting thought.

It wasn’t enough, not by a long stretch, but it was a start.

“Have fun tonight,” he said aloud, pausing as he debated over saying anything more. But in the end, he settled for smiling, just slightly, and adding, “You have until morning. Your time starts now.”

With that, he turned and headed back inside to finish his tea and help Rachel put the boys to bed.

A few hundred metres away, Greg stood from where he’d been crouching in the heather, his silver fur dappled white by the moonlight, and he huffed a sigh, turning his muzzle away from the house. Rhod nudged him, a question in his eyes. Greg just grunted in response, and Rhod flicked one of his ears before darting forward and smacking Greg on the shoulder with a paw before dancing out of reach, his tongue hanging out in a grin.

Greg growled, but without any real heat and Rhod woofed as he turned and started into the Chiltern Hills, clearly confident that Greg would follow, if only to tag him back.

Greg shook his head affectionately and chanced one more look over his shoulder at the house and the man he could no longer see inside. Even though he couldn’t see him, he could feel him, like a little pinprick of warmth that somehow transcended the layers of fur and fat.

He let out another sigh, but a more contented one this time, before finally stretching and ambling unconcernedly after Rhod.

After all, he had all night.