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Yin Yu hadn't asked for any of this. He was glad to be revived, at first, but he hadn't realized that it would require him to stay basically tethered to Quan Yizhen, of all people, for an entire month.
"You're still weak - you need a reliable source of spiritual power while you're reconstituting your physical form," Hua Cheng told him when he woke up in one of Paradise Manor's bedrooms. "And he's the one who offered."
"Can't I just stay dead?" Yin Yu asked plaintively, knowing that the answer would be no.
"Don't worry, shixiong, I'll be right here if you need any of my essence," Quan Yizhen said, smiling brightly. Yin Yu wasn't sure how he could possibly be so happy - if someone had told him that a person who had loudly and publicly announced that he hated him and never wanted to see him again now needed his help, he would have been glad to let that person suffer. He supposed that was just another reason why Quan Yizhen made for a better god than him.
It was almost worse that Quan Yizhen didn't seem angry at him at all. He was happy that Yin Yu was alive, he was relieved that he was recovering, he was eager to help take care of him. If he carried any lingering pain in his heart over the shameful way Yin Yu had treated him, he didn't show it. If he had been upset, then Yin Yu might have felt like they had something in common. He might have been able to find a way to be generous and apologize, if it let him be the bigger person. Then he felt disgusted with himself for even thinking such a thing. There was no way he could ever make up for what he'd done.
Quan Yizhen wasn't literally tied to him, of course, but he didn't venture more than an arm's length away from Yin Yu, even when he was resting. Yin Yu was used to that - in a way, it reminded him of when they'd been young disciples together. He could even doze like this - in a strange way, it was relaxing. He could more or less tune out Quan Yizhen's chatter, lying with his face turned toward the wall so that the words just washed over him and he didn't have to worry about what expressions his face was making. But when he felt weak or started to shiver or cough, Quan Yizhen was always there to put a hand on his shoulder and share some of his spiritual energy with him. Yin Yu felt faintly sick at that - even though he knew he needed it, it felt wrong to take it. Still, he barely had the strength to resist, and so he tolerated the exchange, each time afterwards falling into a deep sleep.
After a few days, though, the sense of relaxation had faded, or perhaps he had simply regained enough of his energy to be annoyed. The constant solicitous attention - spoon-feeding him soup, helping him to dress - started to grate on his nerves. If he could just have a little bit of privacy, he thought, just a few moments to himself, he would... he wasn't sure what he would do. Be able to think clearly? Figure out what he was going to do next? Jump out a window and run away and hide forever?
Finally, just to have some time to himself, he managed to "accidentally" spill some soup on himself. While the bedclothes were being changed by an assortment of little ghosts, he said, "I'm going to go take a bath."
"I'll help you!" Quan Yizhen announced.
"No, it's not necessary," Yin Yu told him firmly. "I can do it myself."
At first it was peaceful when he sank into the warm water of the bath. He lay back and watched as the steam coiled its way toward the ornate ceiling of Paradise Manor. Maybe Xie Lian had been right when he'd said that what really mattered was how you acted, not how you thought. Then again, he had been basically dying at the time, so maybe Xie Lian had just been trying to make him feel better. And even if he was right... how had he acted towards Quan Yizhen? It hadn't just been thinking mean things about him - Yin Yu had treated him, well, terribly. It wasn't Quan Yizhen's fault that he was loud or foolish or couldn't understand why people found him annoying. He had always looked up to him, and tried to be friendly with him, and Yin Yu had repaid him by telling him to kill himself and trying to steal his heavenly title and powers. Even if he had changed his mind before it was too late, he had been willing, at least for a little while, to take everything from Quan Yizhen. He felt sick to his stomach at the memory, his head ached, and he felt dizzy...
He looked down at his hands and could see the ripples of the water through them. Suddenly he realized that he wasn't just suffering from the pain of these memories - he was actually losing his corporeal form! For a moment he just sat there, wondering if he should do anything. His brain seemed to be moving very slowly, and he couldn't quite think what he ought to do. Maybe it was all right, came a voice from his mind, if he just let go and faded away... It would be better for everyone. He closed his eyes and slid down into the water, letting it close over his head. Except, an even tinier voice said, Quan Yizhen would be so sad... He tried to pull himself back up, tried to call for help, but wasn't sure if anyone heard him.
The next thing he heard was a familiar voice yelling, "Shixiong!" He felt strong arms haul him out of the water and then, to his eternal surprise, warm lips pressed hard against his. At first he didn't have the strength to struggle, but soon, as he felt the spiritual power flowing into him, he could have sat up, pushed Quan Yizhen away... Instead he reached up and buried his fingers in that unruly mass of curls. He wasn't sure why he did that, but it didn't feel wrong, and Quan Yizhen didn't fight it.
"Shixiong," he said, his normally booming voice hushed for once, when they finally broke apart. "Are you all right?"
"Why did you do that?" Yin Yu asked, pushing himself awkwardly up to sitting. Kiss me. Save me.
"It's how Hua Cheng gives power to Xie Lian, and I... I thought it would be faster..." Quan Yizhen's face was flushed and he looked away, shy. "I just didn't want you to go away again."
"Oh," Yin Yu said. A strange feeling roiled inside him, something that mixed embarrassment and nervousness and other things he couldn't name because they were so unfamiliar to him, but that weren't entirely unpleasant. Maybe this was what it felt like to receive someone's admiration and not have it twisted into resentment and bitterness? Because, as much as he searched himself, he didn't resent Quan Yizhen right now. All the things he had felt jealous of before seemed unimportant now. He was even... glad he was here? "I'm not going away," he promised, squeezing Quan Yizhen's hand, and realized with amazement that he meant it.
"Good," Quan Yizhen said firmly. "But shixiong... can I give you a bit more power anyway, just in case?"
As it turned out, he could.