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r/confessions • posted by u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi • 3 hours ago

I want to ruin Rin.

I, 17(M), have quite unethical feelings for R 16(M).

To give some context, whenever I look at him, I feel this irrational urge to leave him sobbing and devastated.

This would be quite natural if you take into account the fact that 1) He is a natural born asshole who is barely tolerable on the best of days and 2) He is also a natural born genius who becomes even better because of his (frankly) insane work ethic, which makes him a suitable person for being my rival and the one I should aim to surpass in order to become the best striker in the world. 

Wanting your rivals to eat dirt and die at your feet is just natural, right? Except, that's not all. That's not where it stops. 

The problem is that I am far more invested than I should be, if he was just a rival to me. Last night, when we were practicing yoga together, I asked him about his brother (who he had previously alluded to– with him being his sole reason for playing football.) 

He didn't just brush me off like I thought he would. He actually explained the bare bones of their relationship and that it was not actually toxic or anything (I doubt that but that's for another day). Point is, I wasn't expecting him to give me a genuine answer, but he did. And that made me feel weird, in a rather pleasant way that immediately put me on edge. 

It is a new feeling, considering that I have known him for about 4 weeks, and the beautiful parabola of his kick that sent the ball into the air into the goal was the first among many things that would captivate me.

Even though he has the personality of a trashcan, it's undeniable that he has a certain charm about him that makes you want to dig deeper until your nails leave marks along his skin. 

Until you force him to reveal each and every secret, each nook and cranny of his heart, each slip of mask of the ice cold, perfect exterior that has been carefully crafted.

Sorry, I got carried away. See what I'm talking about?

It is not only completely distracting when my eyes automatically track him in the middle of a match, but it also goes a step further when he insults and effortlessly shows up everyone on the field, which makes me want to lay him out and dissect him and find out what it is that he does so right.

Apologies for the sudden scientific angle, I'm not a biology student, i just really wanna get to know him better :( I just want him to submit to me. I mean it would be nice if he would, but I want to get to know him as a friend and rival first, or else I fear I'll scare him off.

I know he plays a perfect role and puts up a tough front, but I do believe that he is a wounded little boy at heart.

I've seen glimpses of it through our interactions, as well as the fact that he has a distinct air of immaturity to him that is undeniably because he's younger.

I'd really like it if I could be a dependable senpai figure to him :) If I could find out what it is that makes him tick, I'd poke at it relentlessly until he opens up to me. It would be an honour if he saw me as someone he could be vulnerable in front of.

I mean, arguably I would no doubt take advantage of the opportunity to get to know him in order to read his thought process better, but that's a natural consequence that's just a part of us being each other's biggest rivals.

So, that's all. If anyone has any advice on how to get to know him better, I'd really appreciate it if you left in the comments. :) Thanks for listening to me.

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69 comments

u/lazygamer

Bro wrote whole ass poetry and then said he just wanted to be friends 💀

78 upvotes • reply

u/biggestnagireofan

Bro is not the least bit self aware 😭 Nagi is this the Egoist™ you were chasing after? :/

18 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Don't talk to me when your username literally exposes you as a wannabe wh*re who couldn't handle being rejected so he tried to act all independent but then immediately abandoned all self respect and became a whore for a manchild again 💀🙏

u/biggestnagireofan

Fuck you and your entire bloodline 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

As I said, talk to me when you're not furiously meatriding Nagi's dick ☺️ 

u/lazygamer 

Chat, can we please have an F in the chat for Reo?

u/OnlySaneMan

F, I'm sorry Reo

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

F 

u/bumblebee

F

u/biggestnagireofan

NAGI WTFFFFF

u/lazygamer

What? I thought you would appreciate it?

u/biggestnagireofan

What the hell is there to appreciate about you making fun of me? Nagi why can't you just be a good friend for once?? 

u/hornypieceofsperm

YOOO PURPLE BUN IN WITH THE FRAUD ALLEGATIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME

u/Sharkshark

GUYS HE SAID "WHY" AND "FRIEND" HE'S SERIOUS. SERIOUS.

u/VillainKing

Hop on the train, rich guy. We've been waiting for you to stop your dickriding for too fucking long. 

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

Reo finally saw the light fr 💀

u/biggestnagireofan

Aren't you this👌 close to possibly NEVER seeing light again? Yukki? 

u/RedPanther

UNPROVOKED. UNPROVOKED WTFFF REO IS ON THAT DEMON JUICE Y'ALL

u/lazygamer

[ What the hell is there to appreciate about you making fun of me? Nagi why can't you just be a good friend for once?? ]

Literally what do you mean by all that. When TF did i make fun of you? Why can't we be on the same page for once? You're always making things so complicated, Reo 

u/biggestnagireofan

Oh so now it's my fault? How classic of you to start blaming me whenever things go south. How about YOU see the light and start seeing Isagi for what he is???

u/lazygamer

Where's the problem? Isagi's as he always is. He's my rival, anything beyond his skills isn't my concern. Also, he doesn't make things so complicated like you :X

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

That is CRAZY enabling behaviour holy crap. Are we sure Nagi isn't the one who needs to hop off of ISAGI'S dick??

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

At least I have a dick and I have people riding me 💀 I don't need to hump the ground in the middle of a game to satisfy my super repressed closet gay sexual urges 💀💀💀

u/Igaguri

Truly a mudboat of all time

u/NotASuperhero

You had that coming, Yukimiya. You know exactly how Isagi is.

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

SEE?? THE PROBLEM IS THAT Y'ALL KEEP ENABLING HIS BULLSHIT. HOW AM I THE BLIND ONE WHEN YOU GUYS KEEP DELIBERATELY TURNING A SIDE EYE TO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE SAYS AND DOES????

u/biggestnagireofan

STOLE THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH. WHAT'S NEXT?? WILL YOU GUYS TRY TO JUSTIFY IT IF HE KILLS SOMEONE ON THE PITCH SOMEDAY??? 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi 

Rest assured that if I do kill someone on pitch, it would be you, and rest assured that nobody would give a fuck. 

u/lazygamer

ohhh wow so now you're joining forces with the shitty mudboat guy to gang up on Isagi? that's so lame Reo 💀

u/biggestnagireofan

The way you're defending Isagi is lamer, Nagi.

u/RedPanther

Aaaaand it's started already. They're at it again. 

u/VillainKing

As much as I hate to agree with hassle man, he's right. That was pathetic, billionaire bitch. 

u/hornypieceofsperm

Dw our lil purple bun's always been pathetic 😚 part of his charm 

u/lazygamer

Get away from Reo, insect freak.

u/biggestnagireofan

Nagi?! Does that mean we... 🫢

u/RedPanther

The way I could FEEL bro gasp 😭

u/lazygamer

Reo, I'm getting sleepy. Let's put all this behind us and sleep already :X

u/NotASuperhero

The self respect about to evacuate Reo's body in 3,2,1...

u/biggestnagireofan

It's okay, my treasure! I'll be there with your night clothes and your favourite pillow <3 also fuck you Kunigami, get yo repressed winter soldier ass outta here.

u/RedPanther

Yep, there it is. 

u/RedPanther

Also, hey Kunigami ;) 

u/NotASuperhero

Good bye.

u/RedPanther

Can't handle the spice? It's okay, I'll be gentle with you 🤭

u/AnalCrow

I ASPIRE to be this delulu in life the way Chigiri is 🙏

u/NinjaArt

Wtf that user be bruv 

u/AnalCrow

Idiot, it can either stand for Analyst or it can stand for what I'm going to do to Hiori 🫦

u/OnlySaneMan

Gonna pretend I didn't see that. 

u/SexySoccer

Hiori's Yukimiya arc? 

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

STOP FUCKING CLOWNING ON ME

u/SexySoccer

With THAT user? Never.

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

what the actual fuck you guys need help

u/AnalCrow

are YOU really saying that? after THIS POST??? 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

I don't want to ruin Rin the way YOU want to ruin Hiori 💀💀💀 I'm not a predator 💀 I'm just a soccer player

u/NinjaArt

Saying he's not a predator after posting abt doing ALL THAT to Rin is WILD 💀

u/lazygamer

I don't see a problem, isn't that how rivalries are?

u/AnalCrow

Are you saying that you feel about Isagi the way Isagi feels about Rin...

u/lazygamer

Ofc not but we're both different people and have different relationships. Dynamics exist yk 💀 

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

So how long are you gonna be coming up with excuses 😒

u/lazygamer

longer than you'll have your eyesight. Also I gtg sleep, Reo's waiting for me. Bye guys

u/RedPanther

Bye Nagi, have fun ;)

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi 

Bye Nagi!! Sleep well :) 

u/bumblebee

Dw Isagi!!! It's totally okay, I'll tell you how to get to know Rin-chan better!! And then we can hang out with him together :D

89 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Thanks Bachira :) I always know I can count on you. 

u/SexySoccer

yeah, bumblebee's gonna help you get to know Rin better by stalking him and hunting him down and repeatedly infiltrating his personal space like he did to YOU after literally the first day in blue lock 

u/Goatmaru

So in the end, it was Bachira all along. He's the one who ruined Isagi :O

u/Igaguri

IT'S A CYCLE. IT'S A CYCLE OF TRAUMA. SOMEONE GET BOTH OF THEM EITHER A THERAPIST OR AN EXORCIST PLEASE. AMEN 🙏

u/hornypieceofsperm

Therapy and exorcism is boring shit. Do you want me to crack a chestnut, Igaguri-chan?

u/Igaguri

Bye everyone tc 

u/Destroyer 

Why did you refer to me as "R" in the text body when you literally wrote my name in the title of the post? Lukewarm behaviour. You're never getting better. 

53 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/OnlySaneMan

RIN-KUN PLEASE DON'T READ THE POST ANY FURTHER YOU'LL GET SCARRED FOR LIFE 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Stfu Hiori 🙄 an ultrasadist like you doesn't get to act all concerned. Also Rin, I'll definitely beat you!! Just you wait asshole. 

u/AnalCrow

ULTRASADIST??? How have you blossomed, Hiori? 🤤🤤🤤

u/hornypieceofsperm

yummm 🤤🤤😋 please show me your sadistic side baby blue boy <3 

u/OnlySaneMan

Show me that you're a striker worthy of my passes first, antennae freak 🙄

u/AnalCrow

And what about me???? 

u/Destroyer

[ Also Rin, I'll definitely beat you!! Just you wait asshole .]

Hmph. You can try, Isagi. I'll be the one to destroy YOU. 

u/Watxhtower

Is it just me or is Rin-kun totally chill with the deadass psychotic post and the stalker serial killer level shit that Isagi-kun apparently thinks about him?

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Shut up Crytower Niko. You look better kneeling in front of me crying ur eyes out instead of mouthing off like this

u/RedPanther

This is literally so fucking foul I love every minute of this 😭

u/VillainKing

This is like watching a train wreck, you know it's horrible but you can't take your eyes off of it 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Oh, also, I didn't know that whatever I said may offend Rin on a serious level. If anything in that post made you uncomfortable, I'm really sorry, Rin :( I'm not sorry for trying to beat you though. 

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

What the FUCK is this HOW can you lack self awareness on a level this fucking deep 

u/Sharkshark

It's like you, right? Right?

u/OnlySaneMan

KURONA I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD THAT IN YOU 

u/Sharkshark

I could say the same about you. You.

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

ESPECIALLY considering that when it comes to his skills, he's the most self aware out of anyone here??

u/Destroyer

[ Oh, also, I didn't know that whatever I said may offend Rin on a serious level. If anything in that post made you uncomfortable, I'm really sorry, Rin :( I'm not sorry for trying to beat you though.  ]

Shut the fuck up with the lukewarm talk, Isagi. This distorted relationship is how you and I should be. Don't be mistaken, I'm going to crush you no matter what. The best striker in the world is going to be me, and you can watch my ascension from your VIP seat. 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Glad that you're fine with it, but the best in the world is going to be me. 

u/bumblebee

Lol, it's so like you to apologise for smth like that Isagi

u/Watxhtower

Did you just say lol? In this day and age??

u/bumblebee

you're a little too baby to talk to me about age, Niko-chan <3 come here when your balls drop!!! :D

u/VillainKing

Niko stop talking right now. I'm telling you for your own good.

u/VillainKing

Also, wtf are you pieces of crap talking about? Isagi's always been like this. Infuriating asshole. This is why it's so fucking hard to stay mad at this bastard. 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Lol, thanks Barou. :)

u/VillainKing

See? He's doing it again! 

u/NinjaArt

yeah, uh... he got you well traumatized and well molded into his shape 💀

u/OnlySaneMan 

...Does anyone else get the vibes that Barou-kun, Nagi-kun and Rin-kun are weirdly okay with this because Isagi-kun's traumatized them so much that they internalised their despair by working to get stronger to avoid that feeling? And that they keep justifying every awful thing Isagi-kun does because in their mind, it's okay because "they deserved it for being pathetic/lukewarm so Isagi's just making them better as a rival"? 

u/OnlySaneMan

No? Just me? Okay.

u/AnalCrow

Apt analysis, so proud of how far my cute little kouhai has come 😋

u/OnlySaneMan

It would've been wholesome if it weren't for the emoji

u/GlamandLovely

Isagi, are you mentally ill?

666 upvotes • reply

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Gmail: DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi 

Real Madrid:

Subject: I'll kill you.

Get far away from Rin before I launch rocket missiles at you, Isagi Yoichi. 

Bastard Munchen:

Subject: Yoichi <3

Yoichi, do you feel that way towards me too? Am I so intriguing to you that you want to dissect and ruin me? That must be why you act all angry towards me, don't you? ;) I knew it, you're just trying to hide your true feelings because of a fear of rejection. Don't worry, Yoichi, I've got you figured out <3

I'll give you a chance to "dissect" me open yourself if you come to my room tonight, Yoichi <3 See for yourself what it is that makes me an Emperor and you a clown 😘

DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi:

Subject: Fuck you

Go fuck your creepy little boy toy, Kaiser. 

Chapter Text

r/AmITheAsshole • posted by u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi • 6 hours ago

AITA for accidentally telling my enemy that I'd fuck him?

I, 17(M) am in a bit of a pinch. 

For context, I was playing a football game with my enemy, K 18(M) who unfortunately is on the same team. Now, K is the most notorious piece of human trash you will ever meet. He is annoying, irritating, loves to yap about his mistakenly perceived superiority over everyone else because he's a deluded cowardly narcissist who loves the sound of his own voice. 

Basically, he's a human trashcan who I, under normal circumstances, would want NOTHING to do with off the field. On the field, the matter is a little different, seeing as he admittedly is a super talented prodigy striker who represents my ideal play style, so right now he is, at most, an obstacle for me to surpass so that I can improve myself as a player. 

That should have been the extent of our relationship, but recent events have complicated things beyond belief. 

You see, Kaiser, true to his garbage personality, has a habit of getting in my way/actively sabotaging me when I attempt to score a goal. It's not even funny at this point, when my shot course has been blocked over 3 times throughout all the matches we've played so far. He and his boytoy midfielder are LITERALLY acting as opponent defenders towards me. 

Now, while I admit that in a true professional game this would probably not be tolerated, I welcome the challenge as it allows me to grow as a player because of the odds stacked against me. It wouldn't even be a problem if he stole the ball from me, because that's fair play in my book (after all, we're both strikers competing for the spotlight and looking to score our own goal, so as a worthy opponent, I'd want him to do his best to outscore me.)

However, the recent match was a touch too far. 

Everything has a limit. There's a balance to be maintained, when you're competing with someone on your own team– sure, wanting to score our own goals is okay, expected even. But getting in the way of not one, but two CONFIRMED goals??? 

That's literally not allowed. We're competing for goals, we're not competing for DEFENSIVE FEATS because that's the job of the opponent team! There is not a single shred of rationality in that line of action. What will he even hope to achieve by blocking my goal? All it does is prove that I would have scored two times if it wasn't for my own teammate blocking my shot. It does NOT prove Kaiser's worth as a striker, so I genuinely have no idea what this guy is trying to achieve here. 

Anyways, having my shot blocked twice was positively infuriating (and rightfully so, I would say.) What happened next, while a grievous mistake, is just a harmless mistake. But this is what I need you guys to shed clarity on. 

I had just had my shot ruined by Kaiser, and my other teammate, Kunigami, took my bad shot and converted it into a goal. As I was seething with fury, Kaiser decided to rub salt in the wound with a stupid comment, "You sure do love dishing out assists." 

Now, I want you guys to understand that 1) I am aiming to be a striker, and while I can adjust my objectives to provide an assist (for the sole purpose of GETTING BETTER AS AN OVERALL PLAYER SO THAT I CAN SCORE GOALS) I do NOT accept having my shot ruined and be forced to pass to a teammate when I was CLEARLY going to score a goal. 

And 2) Kaiser had ZERO right to make that comment considering his weird, irrational obsession with me AND his excellent defensive feats which do not prove his value as a striker. Even if he was actually on an opponent team, he's a STRIKER. Defending against my goals isn't what he's supposed to be doing. It doesn't prove jackshit. He's supposed to be scoring his own goals, period.

So after he made that comment, with my mind clouded with rage, I was stuck between spitting out "Kaiser, I'll fucking crush you" and "Kaiser, you're the only one I'd hundred percent kill!" 

I was going to say both, because why not, he deserves it. But my anger clouded mind did not quite translate the words properly to my mouth. 

Because what came out of my mouth was "Kaiser, I'll hundred percent fuck you!" 

Yes, yes, I know. Please stop cringing in second hand embarassment, I can feel you shaking your head. I know it was horrific. It might even be funny to some, seeing as there were plenty of people laughing at me on social media (or so my teammate informed me).

But I would like you to put yourself in my shoes and imagine the sheer rage of having your hard work be undone by someone who doesn't even UNDERSTAND the point of what you're doing. A true nuisance in every sense of the word.

Imagine saying THAT to your number one enemy who you want to see buried six feet underground. It was just a moment of brain to mouth miscommunication, it is NOT a big deal. I don't even like him as a person, let alone other suggestive implications that I would never entertain. 

The reason I think I might be an asshole is because right after those accursed words escaped my mouth, I rushed to explain that it was a mistake (through the dead silence in the field). Kaiser looked absolutely shocked, which is stupid because he should've understood that I meant something else. I mean, I pegged him to be an intelligent person, but I guess he was just that shocked that he didn't catch on fast enough. 

Later, after I had to deny several idiotic accusations from my teammates (who couldn't stop laughing, those assholes) and the expected gay allegations, I was walking to my room in shame. On the way, Kaiser suddenly popped out of the corner and started talking to me, teasing and making fun of me in the usual ways and just generally being a human waste of space. 

Here is where I might be the asshole. I was still angry at him, and really embarassed at all of this, so his incessant insults disguised as flirting attempts were really getting on my nerves. So I snapped at him, "Nobody would want a shitty bastard like you!" And stormed off. 

But now that I've cooled down, I feel slightly guilty ONLY over that remark. He didn't respond or anything, he just looked really... off, like my words had actually hit (I have this habit of overanalyzing people's expressions).  And I didn't expect it to, because he's said worse shit to me, so I thought he'd be able to take whatever he dished out. 

It's just that anger and insults are one thing, but I don't want to genuinely hurt someone's feelings especially over something like this. I don't really want to apologise, but it would be really immature of me to knowingly hold back on an apology just because of my pride. Especially if there was any real damage done from my side. 

So tell me reddit, am I the asshole and should I apologise? 

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Automoderator • Pinned 📌 • Six hours ago 

Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

[Here is where I might be the asshole. I was still angry at him, and really embarassed at all of this, so his incessant insults disguised as flirting attempts were really getting on my nerves. So I snapped at him, "Nobody would want a shitty bastard like you!" And stormed off.]

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

u/SeductiveShakespeare

LMAOOOO IT'S THE RUIN RIN GUY 😭 ISAGI YOICHI IS SO GOOFY YALL 

62 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

....thank you? Also please give me an actual verdict/opinion, and please stop assuming I am some Isagi Yoichi or whatever. I mean, it's literally in my username. 

u/SeductiveShakespeare

my man I'm not at all qualified for an opinion 💀 but it's funny that you deny your identity after literally confirming your identity as a striker AND telling us that your rival is Kaiser 😭

u/heysexylady

And don't forget that bro literally transcripted exactly what happened on BLTV,, I mean literally the whole world knows what happened man 😭 but it's funny hearing this through Isagi's pov LMAO 

u/Kaiser'smusclecramps

YTA 100%, you little gay bitch stop I knew smth was wrong with you. shitty poster boys with no skills should stfu lmao don't try to convert Kaiser to your side!!! Kaiser did nuthin wrong he just showing you ur place ✋

2 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Pull his pants up when you're done sucking him off, cheap whorehouse slut. Besides, with a username like that, Kaiser wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole. Nobody wants muscle cramps, any sane human being would want muscle cramps to fuck off because they're painful and bothersome. Good job showcasing your negative IQ, but then again, one doesn't need intelligence when all they're good for is whoring themselves out and getting fucked stupid 🤷‍♀️

u/heysexylady

Somebody prepare u/Kaiser'smusclecramps grave 🤭 our lord and savior Himsagi is at it again 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Muscle cramps don't deserve a grave, do they?

u/heysexylady

NO SIR, OF COURSE NOT. SORRY FOR ASKING DUMB QUESTIONS SIR. 🛐🛐🛐

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Uh, you really don't need to apologise for that. Also, you don't need to call me sir, I don't think I'm that much older than you. :) 

u/heysexylady

ok. 

u/SeductiveShakespeare

The way I can FEEL ur brain pausing 😭

u/heysexylady

STFU BITCH IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE'S LITERALLY PERFECT 

u/Destroyer

Isagi are you literally stupid? How much more lukewarm could you get?? I thought you'd finally improved when there was no mention of Kaiser in the title, but then you fucking ruined it when you referred to him as K in the FIRST LINE only to name drop the bastard in the fucking text body. Did you not read through it even once before posting???

67 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

I'M SORRY 😭 I swear I was so embarassed and I just wanted some answers ASAP, so I didn't think before hitting the post button. 

u/Destroyer

You could've just asked your teammates, dumbass. That's a faster and better option than asking strangers on the internet.

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Ask who?? My teammates can't look at me for two fucking seconds without laughing. Even KUNIGAMI started laughing and then walked off to maintain the illusion that he has no soul. The best I got was Kurona, he at least TRIED before he started laughing. Yuki just laughs on my face, and so do Raichi and Igaguri. Gagamaru is fucking clueless. Hiori? I don't want to talk about that traitorous bastard. 

u/Destroyer

You can't really fault them for that. What you said... it was so lukewarm I had to turn away from the screen in second hand embarassment. Literally everyone in the viewing room was cringing. Also, what tf did Hiori do?

u/OnlySaneOne

They hated me because I told the truth.

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

YOU BITCH I DON'T WAVT TO SEE UR FACE YOU TRAITOROIS FUCKING BASTARD

u/Destroyer

Now what the fuck did you say that has him committing spelling mistake after spelling mistake? Hiori?

u/OnlySaneOne

Nothing, I just said what everyone else on the internet thinks 🤷‍♀️ 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

NO ONE ELSE THINKS ME AND KAISER MAKE A GREAT COUPLE. IT'S YOUR SICK TWOSTED DELUDED FANTASY YIU FUCKTARD

u/Destroyer

I can see that happening.

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Rin what the actual fuck

u/OnlySaneOne

What were you sayin, Isagi-kun? "No one else thinks Kaisagi is canon"? Lemme hear it again. 

u/AnalCrow

the way I can HEAR his voice dipping low in the last sentence??? good GODS 😩

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

RIN YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN ASAP WTF????

u/Destroyer

Are you fucking stupid? Open your eyes and hop onto basically any social media platform, they're making roasted turkey out of you. I don't even interact with social media and I've been getting nonstop notifs about Kaisagi and all other bullshit related to that. 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

I don't wanna traumatize myself so I'll stay safe from social media for a while, thanks. Also, at least you acknowledge that it's bullshit 😭

u/OnlySaneOne

How is it bullshit when a moment of passion forced you to accidentally tell the truth about what you feel for Kaiser? Isagi-kun. 

u/Destroyer

Did you really copy that from the one viral Twitter post with the 20 mil likes?

u/AnalCrow 

Honestly yeah that one's EVERYWHERE like I can't go two seconds without seeing that 💀

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

TWENTY MILLION LIKES???? OH HELL NAW TIME TO BURY MYSELF UNDERGROUND

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Hiori you BETTER shut your ass up there is NOTHING in my heart for Kaiser except for pure burning hatred and disgust.

u/OnlySaneOne

Hate sex 🤤

u/AnalCrow

so kinky 🤭 this is exactly what I had in mind for our first time ;)

u/Destroyer

Hiori have you been hanging around this shitty crow a little too much? Because this shit is horrific and my eyes are scarred for life

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

K*LL YOURSELF HIORI YOU WHORE YOU PIECE OF DICK CHEESE DIE DIE DIE DIE I FUCKING HATE YOU 

u/OnlySaneOne

I'm just repeating what you said Isagi-kun 🤷‍♀️ weren't you the one who said "Kaiser, I'll hundred percent FUCK you!" with an extra emphasis on fuck?

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Dude I'm actually dying. Have you no idea of what I'm going through???

u/OnlySaneOne

Dw Isagi-kun I'll get over there and help you sort all this out <3

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Thanks Hiori <3

u/OnlySaneOne

After I've had my fun, that is 🤭 Kaisagi FTW I'll be back after finishing the raunchy Kaisagi smut in my drafts <3

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Wtf is a smut? 

u/Destroyer

With every passing day you showcase your lukewarm intellect more and more. Do you not even have basic internet knowledge? Smut probably means a Twitter post or a rant, you can infer that simply from the context, but you're too lukewarm to do even that. 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Stop spamming "lukewarm" it makes you sound like a 12 year old who only knows one singular insult and spams it in every convo. Also Hiori I will MURDER you in your sleep if you post on twitter about me and Kaiser, I'll be watching you. 

u/AnalCrow

Oh my god they're both insanely stupid 💀 Double dumbasses. take a look at it folks, this is what soccer brain does to a man 

u/OnlySaneOne

Don't tell em Karasu-kun, let's see how long it takes until the illusion breaks. 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Wtf are you guys talking about???

u/OnlySaneOne

Aren't you supposed to be reading other replies???

u/bumblebee

Honestly NTA, I don't think you're an asshole Isagi. Sometimes stuff just escapes your mouth, and if you ask me, he really had that coming (especially with his recent behaviour towards you) but if you're feeling guilty then you should probably go up to him and clear things out, right? That's enough, no need to say anything else after that. 

95 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/RedPanther

Second that. Also, I think a simple "Hey, I didn't mean what I said back there, so if your feelings were hurt I'm sorry" should suffice. 

u/lazygamer

But Kaiser would probs respond with something witty, like "you care about my feelings? how sweet of you Yoichi 😏" or something else along those lines, right? I say you should ignore him, Isagi

u/biggestnagireofan

If he could ignore it then he wouldn't have hopped onto reddit, Nagi. It's clear that this is bothering him. Isagi, I agree with what Chigiri said, just go for it and then ignore whatever he says afterwards. 

u/VillainKing

Exactly. You don't need to entertain him anymore after you've done your part. If he decides to be an asshole after that (which I'm sure he will) then just ignore him or insult him, whatever suits you. Don't bother with him after that. 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

You guys... thank you so much for the advice <33 This really helped me have some clarity. I was pretty confused tbh, I wasn't sure what to say

u/RedPanther

I mean, that's valid. Especially after what you said in a "confused" state of mind that resulted in Kaisagi blowing up on social media LMAOO

u/lazygamer

The popular trending hashtags right now are #NahI'dSayFuck #Hundredpercent #Kaisagi #Iwillhundredpercentfuckyou #GayLock

u/lazygamer

link: (number one couple in the NEL Kaisagi recent confession)

u/bumblebee

THEY'RE MARKETING IT AS A CONFESSION??? LMFAOOOO 😭 ISAGI I'M SORRY THIS IS JUST TOO FUNNY 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Go ahead ig, laugh all you want 🙄 

u/VillainKing

With what you said, I think it's warranted. I'd even say it's "hundred percent" deserved.

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Ofc the first time Barou makes a joke, it's at my expense

u/lazygamer

lmaoooooo King you're not subtle at all 💀 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

okay fuck y'all I've exhausted my goodwill towards you

u/biggestnagireofan

guys let's stop talking before slursagi comes out 💀

u/RedPanther 

What's he gonna do? Tell us that he's gonna fuck us?? 

u/bumblebee

I wouldn't mind if you said that to me, Isagi ;)

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

BACHIEA?????? 😳😳😳

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

does anyone else see any "Bachiea" here? lmao

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

I wouldn't expect YOU to see anything, mudboat.

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

But I'd expect you to hundred percent fuck Bachira, though 🤷‍♀️

u/NinjaArt

BRUV THAT'S FOULLLL 😭😭 YUKI FINALLY RETALIATING FOR THE FIRST TIME PLSSS 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

SHUT UP MUDBOAT GO GET UR DAILY DOSE OF REALITY

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

Or else what? you'll hundred percent fuck me??

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

You talk like I'd ever lay my hands on you, I don't wanna dirty my hands with mud

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

But you'd dirty your hands with Kaiser, is that it?

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi
You're on thin ice, mudboat. Better watch where you're going. Oh wait, you can't even do that. 

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

At least I can speak properly instead of confessing my hidden gay thoughts towards my enemy :)

u/NinjaArt

fast as a WHIP. holy shit Yuki's not backing down today 🔥🔥🔥

u/VillainKing

Consider me reluctantly impressed. 

u/lazygamer 

honestly yeah,,, especially because we have firsthand experience of what Himsagi is like

u/biggestnagireofan

I think EVERYONE in this facility has had a taste of Himsagi, let's be real Nagi

u/OnlySaneOne

Alright you two that's enough. 

u/RedPanther

Oh come ON I was just getting into it!!!

u/VillainKing

Do you not get your daily drama fix watching Nagi and Reo fuck around in Manshine???? 

u/OnlySaneOne

I'm seeing a lot of homosexual tension here... hm,,, should I add Yukisagi to the NEL ship popularity poll next time?

u/bumblebee 

so it was you who conducted that poll, Hio-chan? 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Hiori I will never fucking forgive you

u/lazygamer

Notice how Yuki didn't protest that even once 🤔

u/lazygamer

potential Yukisagi hint?

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

Sorry, I was busy throwing up in my bathroom at the mere prospect of Yukisagi

u/OnlySaneOne

I don't know, this seems a little sus... 

u/biggestnagireofan 

the excuse you offered sounds too forced, like frankly it's pretty plastic, Yuki

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

yeah fuck you too mudboat. I can feel bile in my throat just thinking about being shipped with you 🤢

u/OnlySaneOne

Aaaaand the homosexual tension intensifies.

u/lazygamer

hardcore tsundere vibes with this one

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

What the FUCK is WRONG with you two??? 

u/VillainKing

At this point you're just giving them ammunition, donkeys.

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

How is us clarifying that we have no desire to be shipped with each other AMMUNITION??

u/OnlySaneOne

rated: E, Yukisagi, M/M, 20k+ words, enemies to lovers, hate sex, rough sex, Top Isagi Yoichi, Bottom Yukimiya Kenyu, Worship Kink, Praise Kink, Screaming, Begging, fluffy ending

u/hornypieceofsperm

those tags lookin mighty fine my guy 😍 also hate sex + praise kink + worship kink? huh,,,

u/OnlySaneOne

yuki-kun would probs start crying in the middle and then Isagi-kun (being the nice guy he is) would praise him 😏 also Yuki-kun is religious soooo ;))) gettit 

u/hornypieceofsperm

HELL YEAH I GETT ITTT I LOVE YOUR FUCKING BRAINNNN 🤩🤩 Also, advice from a fellow writer, add in a Dacryphillia kink, I think Himsagi would be into that 🤭🤤

u/OnlySaneOne

ooooo interesting ;)) let's share accounts, I wanna see your works 

u/Sharkshark

....what is Dacryphillia (I feel like I'm gonna regret asking)

u/hornypieceofsperm

it means when someone's into tears or crying, like pleasure/pain induced tears ;) you're welcome my dear old teammate 😍

u/Sharkshark

Def regretting asking. Asking. 

u/Sharkshark

uhh ok yeah fits Isagi. also I don't want to know ANYTHING else anymore, so I'm leaving. Leaving.

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

KURONA YOU TRAITOR

u/AnalCrow

okay what the actual fuck has this thread turned into.

u/NinjaArt

oh you know it's BAD bad when Karasu is concerned

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Hiori I hope you die choking on Karasu's dick unfulfilled and unhappy 

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

my virgin eyes

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

Hiori Yo you better count your fucking days I will hunt you down in your sleep.

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

I do not hate Yukimiya nor do I want to fuck him. Sorry to burst your bubble

u/GodNeverGivesUsMoreThanWeCanHandle

same here 🙏 please what the hell I need eye bleach so bad

u/Destroyer

I have absolutely zero idea what half of those tags mean, and I'm unwilling to find out the meaning of the other half. 

u/bumblebee

Rin-chan is so traumatised that he didn't even insult Shidou before leaving, huh...

u/RedPanther

Gimme the link when you're done writing Hiori

u/VillainKing
You LITERALLY CANNOT BE SERIOUS BRO WHAT THE LEGITIMATE FWCK???? ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

u/lazygamer

What? Count me in, I'm interested :X

u/biggestnagireofan

Nagi my treasure please tell me you're not serious 🙏

u/lazygamer

Honestly Reo you need to stop being close minded,,, like it's FANFICTION it's words on a paper 💀 cmere me and Chigiri will read it to you when Hiori's done

u/biggestnagireofan

I'm sorry but I'll have to decline. I don't want to be haunted with visions of explicit graphic stuff everytime I look at Yuki or Isagi 🙏

u/Wxtchtower

Ehhh suit yourself ig 🤷‍♀️ Yukisagi's a rare ass ship though, especially with the lack of canon material. but you're right about Isagi-kun being the top, can't see it any other way

u/VillainKing

NIKOO??????? 

u/NotASuperhero

I guess the Isagi effect turned Niko into an M 💀 

u/RedPanther

LMAOOO remember when you poured eyedrops and got on your knees to imitate Niko crying in front of Isagi 😭

u/lazygamer

Kunigami dude you just earned my respect :X

u/biggestnagireofan

I thought Kunigami was innocent 😭

u/NotASuperhero

Reo I promise it's not as bad as it sounds

u/lazygamer

[ Yukisagi's a rare ass ship though, especially with the lack of canon material.]

bro what do you mean lack of canon material??? did you not see them swearing and yelling at each other the entire match

u/Wxtchtower

...okay but isn't that an unhealthy dynamic for a ship 🚹

u/lazygamer

It's hate sex bruv what else do you want, they ain't smooching irl 

u/VillainKing 

okay that's it I don't know you people, don't ever talk to me with your filthy fucking mouths you DEGENERATES

u/lazygamer

King, you're really tempting me to write a Lorenzo x Barou piece 🤭

u/OnlySaneOne

Ugh there's too many of those though

u/VillainKing

Hiori literally what do you mean by that.

u/RedPanther

He means that people ship you mostly with Lorenzo, dumbass 🙄

u/OnlySaneOne

From my knowledge it's the 3rd most popular Barou ship after Barousagi and Barounagi

u/lazygamer 

🤢🤢🤢Barounagi ewwww

u/VillainKing

Fuck you too stinky. 

u/lazygamer

actually Maid Barou is... 😳😳 so idk if I'm complaining actually 🤷‍♀️

u/VillainKing

I am reevaluating my entire life

u/Wxtchtower

Why Barousagi 😭 that makes no sense they hate each other

u/lazygamer

you mean that 3v3 where Isagi cucked Barou and proceeded to bring out his degradation kink 

u/OnlySaneOne

...Oh? Do tell, Nagi. :)

u/hornypieceofsperm

Me too I want in!! Inspiration for new fic incoming?? 😍 maybe this will help with my writer's block 

u/lazygamer

DMs right now I'll tell u all the juicy details :X

u/VillainKing

WHAT JUICY DETAILS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? WE WERE PLAYING FOOTBALL. 

u/Wxtchtower

There is no WAY in hell that happened

u/RedPanther

I can testify bitch.

u/biggestnagireofan

uhhh idk about any of that but yeah Isagi traumatized him in that match 💀 that's all I remember honestly

u/RedPanther

Is there anyone who hasn't been traumatized by Isagi here 💀

u/hornypieceofsperm

Me, but I feel left out fr :(( Isagi-chan, if you wanna traumatize me someday just gimme a call okay? 😍 I'll come running~ 🤤

u/bumblebee

Stay the fuck right there you antennae freak

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

I can't look at this any longer I'm leaving

u/bumblebee

It's okay Isagi I'll accompany you to therapy 🙏 

u/RedPanther

Bitch weren't you asking for Bachisagi fic recs literally the other day ?? Don't act all innocent now 🙄✋

u/bumblebee

They were fluff Princess... not whatever y'all are talking about 😭 I had no idea half of these things existed 💀

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Bachira let's just go. Meet me at the German stratum please

u/bumblebee

coming!! wait for me Isagi <3

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Thanks Bachira :)

u/NotASuperhero

Anyone notice the way Isagi didn't scold or even question Bachira for the bachisagi thing??

u/RedPanther

My sweet innocent hero, they're probably enacting the fic as of now <3

u/NotASuperhero

WHAT

u/RedPanther

IT WAS A FLUFF BRO 

u/NotASuperhero

oh thank fuck 

u/RedPanther

you know, there are a lot of fluffy Kunigiri fics we could be reenacting right now... ;)

u/NotASuperhero

I have to go train, goodbye 

u/RedPanther

It's so adorable how shy you are 🥰

u/AnalCrow

Once again, I appreciate the sheer effort it takes to be this fucking delusional

u/RedPanther

You're just jealous because Hiori would rather write about his teammates doing the do than fuck you <3

u/AnalCrow 

Stfu dumbass I'm topping :/

u/OnlySaneOne

It's cute that you think you hold the reigns lol 

u/AnalCrow

.....H U H.

u/NinjaArt

Guys this is a REDDIT THREAD let's stop talking already

u/RedPanther

You jealous because Karasu's paying attention to Hiori, ninja? ;) 

u/NinjaArt

End of discussion. 

u/Youaremyspecial

so what the fuck is that long ass thread at the top?? I'm scared to open it 

53 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Pussy 

u/Youaremyspecial

I'll let you have mine 😁

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Blocked and reported

u/Youaremyspecial

I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY CAT 

u/KentuckyFriedSatoSugu

NTA and I hope you file a restraining order on him :) 

86 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/MagicMagician

Girl stfu Yoichi's being a little bitch anyway, it's all his fault. Stop judging from behind a phone screen without knowing the people involved. If anyone should have a restraining order filed against them, it's Yoichi for saying vile shit to kaiser's face 

u/KentuckyFriedSatoSugu

Wdym bro it's obvious as FUCK. Kaiser's been a pain in the ass ever since he entered blue lock, we've all watched that. Also why are you calling bro by his first name??? You don't even know him? It's disrespectful as fuck man

u/MagicMagician

KAISER'S been a pain?? How about Yoichi who keeps trying to overtake him despite being a literal clown bruv. That's pick me behaviour and REEKS of attention whore

u/KentuckyFriedSatoSugu

GUYS I FOUND NESS'S BURNER ACCOUNT

u/heysexylady

The sheer irony in Ness calling Isagi a pick me and an attention whore 💀

u/OnlyYmirKnows

NTA, I'm glad people are sensible enough that this is the majority verdict. I saw your discussion with your irl friends, I'd say they're mostly right. But honestly speaking why don't you actually protest against Kaiser directly blocking your shots if it pisses you off so much? That might be helpful in preventing further accidental declarations of sexual intent. 

47 upvotes • show replies • reply

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Honestly speaking I didn't think Kaiser would actually do that. Like that's a really irrational thing to do and I couldn't make sense of his actions, so I couldn't predict him outright blocking my shots. But I'm pretty sure my coach is going to intervene if Kaiser starts with his bullshit again in the next match. 

u/OnlyYmirKnows

That's fair, although unexpected. That's a good outcome. I hope it works out for you :) 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Thank you :) But why was that unexpected, might I ask? Did you think we wouldn't take actions to ensure that this never happens again? 👀

u/OnlyYmirKnows

Well, tbh I thought you were going to say "No, I don't want that! I want Kaiser to block my shots for ten years at least!" But I'm glad that's not the case. 😁

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

...And here I thought this conversation was going normally

u/PotatoPitch

My man you should be grateful he didn't whip out the "Isagi, what a man you are!" 

u/RedPanther

As a reward, Kaiser shall give you his seed 🤭

u/PotatoPitch

Of course Chigiri Hyouma has impeccable taste 

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Chigiri just watch me break your fucking kneecaps

u/RedPanther

Are you sure YOUR kneecaps aren't broken after kneeling for Kaiser 😍

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

I regret ever opening my mouth and saying those words 

u/RedPanther

Is it hundred percent regret or is there some excitement mixed in? ;)

u/DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi

Kunigami hundred percent hates you

u/NotASuperhero

No.

u/RedPanther

OMG KUNIGAMI AAAAAAA 

u/PotatoPitch

are we really witnessing Chigiri being delulu for Kunigami in real time

u/GlamandLovely

Isagi, are you flamboyantly gay?

6.9k upvotes • reply

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Gmail: DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi 

BastardMunchenOfficial:

Subject: I'm hundred percent not mad, Yoichi 🌹

Yoichi, you don't need to worry. I'm not mad at you and you didn't hurt my feelings. I understand, you must have been so shaken and embarassed that you accidentally blurted out your true feelings in front of everyone. So you pretended to be mad at me because you were lashing out. 

It's fine, Yoichi <3 I totally understand. I wouldn't be a benevolent king if I didn't listen to my subordinates, would I? 🌹

Anyways, I agree with that one redditor who said that you wanted my reward. It's a common saying that internet folk often have a knack for knowing what the people themselves might be oblivious to. I understand that you didn't want to vocalise your inner desires, but now that everything's out in the open, let's not waste any more time, okay Yoichi?~

Come to my room tonight, Ness won't be there. I'll show you how rewarding I can be 🤭 We can even do what you suggested today in the field itself, Yoichi 😏

Farewell, Yoichi. I'll be waiting for you to come to your senses and come crawling to me~ 😘

DefinitelyNotIsagiYoichi:

Subject: Delulu is NOT the solulu

I HIGHKEY never thought I'd meet someone more delusional than Karasu or Chigiri, but this shit takes the fucking cake 💀💀💀 Kaiser get fucked lmao what are you even waffling about? The only way I'll ever fuck you is NEVER 

Go get your shitty dickriding magician to hop off of reddit and fuck you 🤢