Chapter Text
“You’ve got to be shitting me.” Junpei stared at him with wide, shocked eyes, his gaze piercing directly through Akihiko’s soul, and for the first time in a very long while, he was really starting to regret his decision to ever move into the dorms.
Really, it was his fault for ever agreeing to a study session with Junpei in the first place. He’d basically begged him to help him work on some math equations for a test he had next week, and though Akihiko sincerely doubted they’d actually end up getting any studying done, he agreed, not having anything better to do.
Still, though, he couldn’t have possibly expected that it would result in this.
“I—W-Well—” He stuttered out embarrassingly, eyes locked with the dining room table in shame. He hadn’t actually admitted anything yet, but his reaction alone had completely given away the truth already. “I don’t—I don’t know for sure.”
So, maybe their conversation had shifted to Junpei talking about the cute girls in his class. Sure, fine, whatever; that’s about what he expected. And maybe he’d asked Akihiko what his type of girl was. Also fine, if not a bit annoying and very much so not related to the math they were supposed to be doing. And then perhaps he’d asked if he and Mitsuru were a ‘thing,’ to which he laughed and may or may not have made a slip of the tongue and admitted that he has someone else in mind. And then maybe Junpei, being Junpei, had proceeded to list every single girl he’d ever seen Akihiko speak to and ask if she was the one he was referring to. And perhaps once he’d exhausted his list of girls, he’d started exasperatedly listing off guys.
And maybe, just maybe, he’d had a moment of hesitation when Junpei jokingly said their leader’s name.
“Oh my God,” Junpei put his hands down on the table as if Akihiko had just told him some groundbreaking, earth-shattering information. Akihiko considering digging himself a grave underneath the dining room table. “Him? Our leader? Makoto? You have a big fat crush on Makoto!?” He asked, volume way louder than Akihiko was comfortable with for their current topic.
“Shh! Not so loud!” He ‘commanded,’ though with the current shaky state of his voice, it came out as more of a desperate plea than anything close to a demand. “Like I said, I don’t know for sure!” Akihiko regretted his statement almost immediately, realizing that admitting the truth behind his predicament would only result in more questioning rather than Junpei just dropping this like he’d hoped. Then again, he sincerely doubted there was anything he could have possibly said that would have made Junpei drop the conversation so soon after learning something that seemed to tilt his entire world on its side.
“The hell you mean you don’t know!?” He once again asked in a voice way louder than he needed to be. It took Akihiko a lot of mental strength not to just lean over the table and strangle him, but, then again, he did understand why he was so confused. Someone saying that they ‘didn’t know’ whether or not they had feelings for someone wasn’t exactly common, and for someone as nosy as Junpei, Akihiko didn’t blame him for being curious about it.
“I mean that I—” Akihiko cut himself off, realizing that he didn’t really owe Junpei an explanation for anything. He had been the one to dig where he shouldn’t have, and Akihiko hadn’t even intentionally given an answer to his question in the first place. “That’s personal. Now how far are you in those practice problems I gave you?”
“Haven’t started,” he said with a wide smile that he definitely should not have had. “Dude, there’s no way you expect me to focus on math when you have a fat crush on Makoto—”
“Not so loud!” He repeated, more sternly this time. They were the only two in the lounge, and he was pretty sure that Makoto had left the dorm to go on a nighttime walk to Paulownia like he usually did around this time, but that didn’t completely eliminate the chance that someone upstairs could possibly overhear this and leave Akihiko in an even more embarrassing osition than he was already in.
“You, uh, wanna talk about it?” Junpei asked in a much quieter voice than he’d had before, looking at Akihiko like he was consoling a crying child. He hated it.
“No.” He scribbled out a few more math problems onto a piece of notebook paper, tearing it out and passing it across the table. “And this is for being so nosy.”
“Hey, dude, c’mon!” He looked down at the paper with a frown that almost made Akihiko feel bad. Almost. “You can’t just leave me hanging like that! There’s so much I need to know! You can’t just drop this info on me and then not say anything else about it!” Akihiko clenched a fist underneath the table. He supposed this is what he got for letting something like this slip around Junpei of all people.
“And how is this any of your business, again?” His voice came across as more aggressive than he’d meant for it to, but he couldn’t help it. If Junpei kept digging like this then he would have to confront what he’d been doing his best to ignore these last few weeks, and even though he of all people should have known the dangers of repressing his feelings, this was an exception. He didn’t need to confront the weird feeling in his chest whenever he spent an extended time alone with Makoto because he shouldn’t be feeling that way in the first place, it was as simple as that. It didn’t affect anyone but himself, and he was certain that if he pushed it away for long enough, he would get over what was either simple admiration or a childish crush.
Something that he couldn’t do if Junpei kept being as nosy as he was.
“I guess it’s not, but you can’t just say that and then not elaborate, dude.” Surprisingly enough, Junpei picked up his pencil. Unfortunately, he turned the page of his notebook and scrawled the words ‘Operation Makoaki,’ in bold letters at the top of the margin.
“Absolutely not.” Akihiko grabbed the notebook from across the table and ripped the page out, crumpling it up into a ball and tossing it into the garbage can behind him. “Technically, I never confirmed anything.” Akihiko looked back down at his own notebook and started writing random numbers down, hoping it would encourage Junpei to do the same. It didn’t, and he figured that would happen, but he had to at least make an attempt to get their conversation back on track.
“Oh, yeah, sure. Friends usually ‘don’t know’ if they have crushes on each other. That’s totally normal platonic behavior.” He held out the ‘totally’ in a teasing way that would have made Akihiko laugh if it were directed at anyone else. Instead, he just quietly sighed.
“Like you know anything about romance.”
“I know enough to know that the way you turned bright red when I said his name isn’t something that happens with a friend.” Akihiko’s pencil stopped moving mid-calculation, and once he’d come to his senses enough to realize that he was being suspicious once again, he pressed down on the page with enough pressure that the lead on the tip nearly snapped.
“I think you’re exaggerating.” But was he, though? Akihiko admittedly had very little control over what expressions he made, especially when caught off-guard like that, so the idea that he had actually been visibly flustered was equally possible as it was mortifying. “But either way, it doesn’t matter. Now let’s go back to the studying that you begged me to do with you—”
“Yes, it does matter!” Junpei tried looking up at him, but Akihiko’s eyes remained entirely fixated on his paper. The fist he held under the table only tightened as the fear of this information spreading through the dorm sank deeper into his heart. “You can’t just ignore your feelings, y’know. If you’ve got a crush on him why not just own up to it? You’ve got basically the whole school thirsting after you, dude, so it’s not like you’ll get rejected.” Akihiko’s hand tightened on his pencil even harder. He appreciated that Junpei cared so much, really, and he knew that his words were genuine in nature, but he wished he would just drop this already. He hated admitting the possibility of having feelings for their leader even to himself, and admitting that aloud to another person, especially someone as close to Makoto as Junpei was, was way more than he ever wanted to discuss about the matter.
“…There’s a pretty big difference between Makoto and the people who have feelings for me.” Despite himself, Akihiko closed his notebook and set his pencil aside. He sincerely doubted that Junpei would drop this now, after already being so invested in it, and it would be better to clear everything up now before he put ‘Operation Makoaki’ into fruition without his consent.
“Hm?” Junpei didn’t seem to understand for a moment, staring at him with confusion for a brief second, before letting out an ‘Oh’ of realization. “Well, you don’t know for sure that he’s not, well, y’know. Part of the rainbow.”
“Never say that again.”
“Battling for the other team?”
“That’s worse.”
“A colorful individual?”
“That one just sounds homophobic.” Despite his annoyance at the entire situation, Akihiko couldn’t bite back his smile. “You can just say gay, you know. It’s not a bad word.”
“It’s not?” Junpei seemed genuinely surprised, which shocked Akihiko a bit. He had assumed that was common knowledge, but, then again, he tended to know a little more about these sorts of things than most. And, no, that had absolutely nothing to do with his current predicament and similar ones of that nature. Completely coincidental. “I thought that was, like, rude to say. Like an insult or something.”
“Trust me, calling someone a ‘colorful individual,’ is a hell of a lot worse.” Akihiko couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped him. Though this was still the worst conversation of his life, being able to joke around like this was helping take the stress off of him just a little. Maybe if he could just keep joking and beating around the bush, Junpei would forget why this conversation had started in the first place. “Try saying that one to Yuki’s face and see how long it’ll take for him to punch you.”
“Dude, you’re still calling him Yuki?” Junpei’s takeaway from his statement was not the one Akihiko was expecting. He froze in place for a split second once again as Junpei raised an eyebrow. “Well that’s your first problem. How are you gonna ask him out if you’re not even using his first name?” …Of course Junpei wouldn’t let this go. It was Junpei. He shot him a glare, but couldn’t force himself to remain mad. He didn’t have any negative intent here, presumably at least, but he really, really didn’t want to be having this conversation right now. He was sure that if he gave Junpei a serious enough explanation as to why he didn’t want to be talking about this and that he couldn’t say a word about this to anyone than he would stop immediately, but for some weird reason, Akihiko didn’t mind this as much as he felt he should have. It felt nice to get his feelings out there to someone, even if it was quite possibly the worst person in the dorms that he could have made a slip of the tongue to.
“Well, he still calls me Sanada-senpai,” he started, not having fully processed the latter half of Junpei’s statement just yet. “So I assumed that meant he wasn’t ready for—Wait, what was that?” Akihiko felt his face burn as the realization set in, mortifyingly enough, and he shot a murderous glare at Junpei despite his resolve not
to get angry. Akihiko assumed that he would back down after he asked him to repeat his statement, but, he unfortunately only doubled down.
“I said that you can't ask the dude out if you’re still bein’ all formal with him.” Junpei picked up his pencil once again, picking up his notebook and placing it on his lap so that Akihiko couldn’t see what he was writing. Akihiko was starting to really regret agreeing to this study session. “So that’s our first order of business. When he comes down here, I want you to call him his first name. Be all like, ‘Ooh Makoto you’re soooo hot with your bangs in your eyes! And the way you haven’t dyed your roots in three months is just sooooo sexy!’” Akihiko clenched his fist so hard that his nails must have left a mark against his palm. He wasn’t sure what had led him to the assumption that this would end without him getting mocked in some form, and even though he knew this was just how Junpei spoke with and teased his friends, it wasn’t something he was willing to be teased about. Besides, those comments leaned more towards teasing Makoto than him, and that only made him more angry than if Junpei had just insulted Akihiko to his face. He didn’t want to lash out, though, so he forced himself to take a deep breath as he stood up from the table and picked up his notebook and pencil.
“Woah, hey, wait.” Junpei’s tone lowered back into something more natural and genuine. Akihiko glanced back in his direction. “Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean to take it that far.” Akihiko felt the frustration inside him settle a bit. He could tell that his apology was genuine, so he saw no reason to hold it against him any further.
“It’s alright.” Though he knew he should have taken the opportunity to escape the conversation without Junpei holding it against him, his legs refused to move towards the stairs. He waited idly for a few seconds, notebook still tucked under his arm, until Junpei spoke up again.
“I just—I mean, maybe I can help you, you know?” There was a shy, embarrassed grin on his face, his eyes holding a look of genuine apology.
“I don’t need help.” Akihiko tried to match his genuinity, but he wasn’t entirely sure that had come across the way he’d meant for it to. He was still a bit shaken up, in all honesty, though not at Junpei anymore. He was angry at himself for letting something like this slip so easily, especially when he wasn’t even sure that his feelings were romantic in the first place. He was normally somewhat decent at keeping things like this under wraps, so having his thoughts exposed out in the open like this was unusual and uncomfortable for him. “So unless you actually want me to help you study, I’m going to my room.” Again, that had come across harsher than he’d meant for it to, but Akihiko had never been good at properly hiding his feelings once they were out. He wished he could tell Junpei that he wasn’t mad at him so much as he was at himself, knowing that his teasing words were coming from a place of kindness and a misguided desire to help, but he couldn’t find a proper way to word what he was feeling that wouldn’t elicit a thousand more questions from Junpei and end with them staying at the dining room table talking all night. But despite that, despite knowing he was walking directly into a giant bear trap he doubted he’d be able to wiggle his way out of, Akihiko decided to indulge in his curiosity for just a moment. “How would you be able to help with something like this, anyway?” He looked back to Junpei, a small, challenging smile unintentionally curling on his lips, and in-turn, Junpei grinned like Akihiko had just offered him a million yen.
“Okay, so here’s the plan.” Oh boy. Equally curious as he was worried, Akihiko rejoined Junpei at the table. He pulled the notebook up from his lap to reveal ‘Operation Makoaki’ once again written in bold letters in the margin of the page. There was more written underneath it this time, but the title alone was enough for Akihiko to frown.
“Absolutely not,” he repeated, hoping it would get through to Junpei this time.
“I haven’t even told you the plan yet!” …Evidently, it didn’t.
“If the ‘plan’ starts with that, I’m already not going to like it.”
“What, would you prefer Operation Akikoto? Is his name being first threatening your masculinity, oh Mr. Boxing Champion?” It took Akihiko a lot of restraint not to punch the stupid grin off of Junpei’s face, but he just barely managed.
“That is not the issue here!” He complained, though upon noticing that Junpei’s grin only grew, he realized that this was the exact reaction Junpei wanted him to have. He took a long, frustrated sigh before mumbling a quiet, resigned, “Fine.” It seemed that even Junpei didn’t expect him to allow that, looking at him with a look of surprise for a brief moment before continuing.
“Okay then!” There was a bit more excitement in his voice than Akihiko assumed normal. He braced himself for the worst. “So, it’s a three step plan. Organized by the king of romance himself, of course.” Akihiko couldn’t restrain the quiet laugh that escaped him at that statement, remembering the incident back in Yakushima that neither of them had dared to speak of since it happened. “Hey!” He looked at Akihiko with an exaggerated amount of offense. “I don’t wanna hear it from you. Least I can tell someone when I like them.” The problem is that he didn’t know whether or not he liked Makoto, he wanted to spit out, but bit his tongue in favor of a comment that was less likely to backfire spectacularly.
“Yeah, and how’s that working out for you?” Junpei evidently didn’t like that response, though instead of being angry, he only frowned. Akihiko almost felt bad.
“Aaaanyway!” He pointed his pencil against the page, lowering it down from the header to the first of three bullet points. Well, really, the first of one bullet point, seeing as the other two had nothing written underneath them. It read ‘Gay?????????’ with each subsequent question mark getting less and less defined. At least it didn’t say colorful individual, he supposed. “The first step is to, well, figure out if ya actually like him like that or not. Since you aren’t fully sure yet, that should be our first order of business.”
“Mhm.” This didn't sound all that bad so far, surprisingly enough. Granted, Junpei hadn’t really revealed much about the actual ‘planning’ to him yet, but so far, it wasn’t too horrible. Akihiko knew he had jinxed himself the second that thought entered his head, but he tried his hardest to push it to the side. “And how do you expect to go about that? Seeing as you’re the ‘king of romance’ and all.” Junpei’s smile only grew, concerningly enough, setting the notebook down on the table and starting to write something else down underneath the header.
“Well, I’m a thousand percent sure I don’t like dudes, so I’m not sure I’m the best person to help you through this.” You could say that again. Even though it had only been about twenty minutes since this had started, Akihiko still couldn’t believe he’d wound up in this situation with Junpei of all people. Still, he eagerly listened to what he had planned. “Butttt, the best place to start is just talking to him. Hanging out with him, getting to know him, all that jazz.”
“Well, yeah, I could’ve figured that out.” Akihiko knew the best way to figure out what his feelings truly were was by talking to Makoto; that wasn’t the problem. The problem was approaching him in a way that didn’t seem awkward or make him uncomfortable. Makoto was so quiet and reserved that any attempt to approach him for non-essential matters always resulted in Akihiko wondering if he was making him bored or uncomfortable, and as a result, ended before it truly started. That’s the main reason he was so confused in the first place. Did he really like him like that, or did he just want to be able to properly talk to and be friends with their leader without having an uncharacteristic shyness take over him? He had no idea, and he doubted that was something Junpei could help him with. Not that he blamed him, of course—this was Akihiko’s problem, and his problem alone. He appreciated that Junpei was trying to help him, he really did, he just doubted he would be able to solve his very personal and difficult problem of his.
…Though, Junpei did seem closer to Makoto than most people. Perhaps he could find a way to help Akihiko talk to him? Or was that more a result of Junpei’s outgoing personality rather than anything about Makoto? Whatever it was, it couldn’t hurt to ask. He’d already thoroughly embarrassed himself, and at this point, he may as well double down.
“The problem is actually approaching him, though.” His eyes wandered down to the table, a bit embarrassed of his honesty. “You know better than anyone how quiet he is. He’s so… not shy, just— reserved, I guess. He hates small talk, and I don’t wanna bore him by talking about boxing practice or the weather or anything like that. But I’m afraid if I try and ask him about things he’s interested in, he’ll just think I’m weird and awkward.” He took a deep breath after his admittance, twirling his pencil around between his fingers to distract himself from his embarrassment.
“Aww, look at you, caring for your boyfriend like that.” Junpei cooed, which succeeded in making him feel twenty times more embarrassed. “You’re so sweet, Sanada-senpai.”
“Don’t make me hit you.” Though he tried to sound threatening, he couldn’t lift his gaze from the table. Junpei didn’t take him seriously as a result, simply laughing with amusement.
“If you hit me, you won’t get to hear the rest of my awesome plan.”
“If the extent of your ‘awesome plan’ is to just talk to him, I don’t think I need to.”
“You’re so mean to me, you know that?” Akihiko let out a chuckle, finally tearing his gaze from the table back up to Junpei. “I wasn’t done, you know. I prepared for Makoto’s… I dunno, Makoto-ness.” Akihiko’s eyes widened a bit, leaning back in his chair as he listened a bit too eagerly to what Junpei had planned. “So!” He pressed his pencil against the page, and started to doodle a small scene. He drew two stick figures, one significantly taller than the other, next to what he could only presume was supposed to be a dog. Once he was finished, he looked back over his work, and retroactively added long hair to one of the stick figures and an angry expression and a bandage to the other.
“…Why’d you make Yuki so short? And why’d you make me so mad?” Perhaps that wasn’t the first question he should have asked, but he was honestly more curious about Junpei’s artistic liberties than the plan itself, which he had already figured out from his ‘masterpiece’ of a drawing.
“Because he’s short. And because you’ve looked ready to punch me for this entire conversation.”
“Yuki isn’t short.” Akihiko chose to entirely ignore the latter part of Junpei’s statement. Mostly because it was true. “He’s 170cm. That’s average height. We’re just tall in comparison.”
“Mhm. And why do you know his exact height, again?” Akihiko completely froze in place, like he’d gotten hit with a spell far worse than any Bufudyne.
“W-Well—” He was pretty sure that it didn’t matter what he said at this point, because he’d already dug himself his own grave by letting that little fact slip, but he still had to make an attempt to explain himself. “I just heard him mention it once.” Though that was the truth, that didn’t necessarily explain why he’d remembered such an insignificant detail. If the context of their current conversation was different he could have brushed it off by saying that he was good with remembering numbers, which was once again true and a hell of a lot less embarrassing than admitting he had been calculating just how much of a height difference he and Makoto had, but with everything they had just discussed, he sincerely doubted Junpei would believe that excuse.
“Mhm.” The amount of sarcasm in such a simple statement was completely mortifying, and Akihiko wished he could curl up into a ball under the table and scream. “Are you sure we even need step one, Sanada-senpai? Sounds to me like you’re crushing big time.” He let out a vague noise of disapproval, not having the willpower to fight back against that. Junpei made it sound so simple, as if a single somewhat-romantic-if-he-squinted-hard-enough action could clarify something as complex as the blurred line between platonic and romantic feelings, but it wasn’t as clear-cut as he made it out to be. Or, well, it wasn’t that clear-cut for Akihiko, anyway. From what he’d gathered from his peers, it was him alone that struggled immensely when it came to determining whether or not his feelings for someone were platonic or romantic in nature. For most people, it seemed to be a simple yes or no; a completely black and white decision that came naturally to nearly everyone except him. Most people could just tell what the strange feelings that blossomed in their chest around a certain person meant, and whether they were there because their feelings were romantic or because of a strong friendship and deep connection.
Akihiko had never been like most people, though. Trying to figure out how he felt about someone was like a game of darts played with his eyes closed, and more often than not, he came to the wrong conclusion before realizing the truth. He’d been convinced for a while that he had romantic feelings for both Shinji and Mitsuru, before realizing that it was actually just an appreciation of their friendship and a strong desire to keep them safe. On the flip side, there had been several occasions where he hadn’t noticed someone had been flirting with him until it was too late, and realized that he actually felt the same way even later.
So, really, this wasn’t anything new. The way he found it difficult to speak properly around Makoto was probably just because he was reserved, and the nauseous, warm feeling that settled in his chest after being around him for so long was probably just jealousy at his skills in a fight. That’s all it was. Probably.
“…Hello? Earth to Senpai?” Junpei called out, waving a hand in front of Akihiko’s face, and his eyes snapped back up from the floor they’d accidentally wandered to.
“Sorry.” Junpei looked ready to tease him again, probably knowing exactly what (or who ) he had been so lost in thought about, but, for the first time in his life, kept his mouth shut. “So, what’s your ‘awesome plan,’ then? Something with Koromaru?” Junpei smiled, gently underlining the scene he had drawn earlier.
“Yup!” To Akihiko’s dismay, he extended the two stick figure’s arms towards each other and drew a small heart above them. “So. Makoto’s the one that usually walks Koro-chan, right?” Akihiko nodded. Makoto had been coming back to the dorms later and later ever since he’d joined the team, unable to resist Koromaru’s whines whenever he asked to go on a late night walk. It was sweet that he cared so much about him; a side of Makoto that Akihiko wished he knew more about. “Well, as long as you don’t mind Koro third-wheeling with you guys, I was thinking you could ask to go with him tonight.” That idea sounded great, right up until the last word.
“Tonight?” He asked, eyes widening slightly as he raised an eyebrow. “That’s—” way too soon, he almost let slip, before catching himself. That made it sound like he was avoiding this, which, although he had been trying to get closer to Makoto for a while now, he sort of was. Tonight was way too sudden for something like this, knowing that it was inconspicuous enough to actually work. He hadn’t prepared himself anywhere near enough to go through with this tonight. He hadn’t thought of what to say, he was still sweaty and wearing his workout clothes, he hadn’t had the chance to brush his hair or put on cologne, he—
Okay, maybe he was thinking a little too hard about this. Still, he wasn’t ready. Not tonight.
“—Not a good day for me. Gotta finish some prep for the team by tomorrow,” he finished, but judging by the disappointed glare Junpei was giving him, he didn’t believe that excuse in the slightest. “Besides, is he even walking Koromaru tonight? He’s been out at Paulownia for a while now, don’t you think he would’ve taken him with?”
“Out at Paulownia?” Junpei raised an eyebrow. “He’s still here, dude. He’s been in Fuuka’s room showing her how to pirate music for the past hour.” Oh. Akihiko didn’t think much of that at first, until the realization hit him. That meant Makoto was here. At the dorm. Two floors above them. Right now. Right after Junpei had just had the loudest possible discussion about his ‘big fat crush’ on him. As if this couldn’t have possibly gotten any worse. “You’re crushing on a criminal, Senpai. How does that make you feel?”
“He’s here?” Akihiko chose to ignore the rest of Junpei’s statement, though he did wish Makoto and Fuuka had come to him for money before committing a misdemeanor. “You’re telling me he’s been here this entire time?”
“Yeah?” Junpei seemed confused as to why he was so worked up. Akihiko, meanwhile, wanted to bash both his own head and Junpei’s against a brick wall. “What’s the problem?” You know what the problem is, he wanted to scream, though, really, he supposed it was partially his own fault for assuming Makoto had gone into the city without any real evidence. He instead took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down and remember that there was a very slim chance their words had traveled up two sets of stairs and into Fuuka’s room. Deep breath. “Oh, hey, speak of the devil!” Junpei called out, and, as if the entire world was against Akihiko specifically, Makoto walked down the stairs into the lobby. He was wearing a black turtleneck that seemed a bit too warm for the current weather, and his hair seemed to have grown even longer since the last time Akihiko had closely looked at it. Like clockwork, his eyes were back down to the table in front of him as soon as he noticed he’d been staring.
“Hi,” he said quietly as he took the final step into the lobby, walking over to their table. Akihiko forced himself to look up at him so as not to look suspicious, though each and every glimpse he got of his pale gray eyes was like a knife to his heart. “Studying?”
“We tried to.” Akihiko shot Junpei a knowing glare. He only smiled in response. “But we got side-tracked. It’s not all his fault, though. I kinda let myself get off-track too.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Sanada-senpai.” His voice was as quiet as ever, yet it was the only thing Akihiko could focus on. “He does that every time someone tries to study with him.”
“Hey!” Junpei complained from across the table. “You’re both being so mean to me. What did I do to deserve this!?” Makoto shrugged, and Akihiko shot him a knowing glance. That was enough to make him sink down into his chair in defeat.
“I’m taking Koromaru for a walk.” Upon hearing either his name or the word ‘walk’, Koromaru emerged from up the stairs, barking excitedly and rubbing his head against Makoto’s leg. “I’ll be back before the Dark Hour.”
“Alright.” Akihiko refused to look across the table at Junpei, knowing exactly what desire would be reflected in his eyes right now. He knew that looking at Junpei would cause him to make a stupid decision that he’d regret, so he forced himself not to give in. A part of him really, really wanted to go with him, setting aside his lack of preparation in exchange for a spontaneous moment of time alone with Makoto, but another, larger part of him forced himself to be rational. He wasn’t prepared. He would just end up embarrassing himself if he went with him tonight, and that wouldn’t help him figure out what his true feelings were in the slightest.
“Actually, wait, Makoto.” Junpei spoke up, and Akihiko decidedly did not like his tone. It was light and teasing, and his heart sank upon the realization of where this was going. “Sanada-senpai wants to ask you something.” Goddamnit. Akihiko clenched his fist underneath the table.
“Hm?” Makoto turned to face him, and Akihiko’s lungs turned to putty in his chest. Each breath was labored, and his nails were digging into his palm as he tried to come up with a suitable lie. Even if he fully wanted to, there was no way he could ask to go with him now. If he was too anxious to even lie to him, how the hell was he supposed to ask to go with him? Ask to spend alone time with someone he hardly knew? Ask to spend alone time with someone that was known for being quiet and reserved? He couldn’t, at least not right now. He knew full well that asking something as simple as taking the dog for a walk should certainly not have been making him as nervous as it was, but setting that embarrassing fact aside, Akihiko spat out the first excuse that came to mind.
“We’re running low on coffee creamer.” Akihiko released a breath that, as cliché as it was to say, he hadn’t realized he had been holding. He wished he had a better excuse than that, especially considering Akihiko rarely even used creamer for his coffee in the first place, but, hey, it worked. “If you have time, would you mind picking some up? Don’t worry about it if it gets too late, though. It’s much more important that you’re back here before the Dark Hour.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Actually, try to be back earlier if you can. Staying out until midnight is dangerous, Dark Hour or not.” Though he was throwing stones in glass houses with that last comment, he felt that it was important to add. Makoto had been getting back to the dorm mere minutes before the Dark Hour on some days, and that made him nervous. It wasn’t that he thought Makoto couldn’t protect himself—he was certain Makoto could handle pretty much anything that came his way—but even the tiny possibility of something happening to him made his stomach churn uncomfortably in his chest. He wasn’t going to let something like that happen again.
“Okay.” Though he may have been overanalyzing the features on his face, Akihiko thought he may have caught the slightest glimpse of a smile. Though, Makoto turned to face the door before Akihiko could confirm his suspicions one way or the other. “Thanks for looking out for me, Sanada-senpai.”
“It’s no problem.” Akihiko found himself smiling, despite the nervous butterflies still fluttering around in his stomach. “Stay safe, Makoto.”
“Ah—” Makoto mumbled almost inaudibly, turning back to face him once again, and it was only then that Akihiko realized what he had said.
Oh.
It had slipped without him even realizing. He’d been too caught up in his own head, too caught up in his own, selfish thoughts. Though it was something he doubted Makoto would mind, he hated that he’d let something like that slip for the first time in such a casual, unimportant conversation.
“Thank you, Akihiko-senpai.” Makoto glanced downwards as he spoke, as if he was embarrassed of his words. Akihiko’s heartbeat was pounding so loudly in his ears that any other statement would have been entirely lost to him, but those four words echoed their way through his brain like a mantra.
His first name sounded… nice coming from Makoto’s mouth. He sounded so shy saying it, as if it was something forbidden that he shouldn’t have said to begin with. He still used the suffix, too, as if he was trying his hardest to remain formal while saying it. He began hyper-analyzing the way Makoto said his name without even realizing how lost in thought he was, and by the time he came to his senses, the door to the dorm had already closed with a loud slam.
“Dude!” Junpei stood up from the chair, putting his palms on the table and looking into Akihiko’s eyes with a mixture of pride and vague annoyance. “The hell do you mean you ‘don’t know how to approach him!?’ You just went on a whole protective boyfriend speech and then used his first name!”
“I don’t… know what came over me.” He admitted, putting his face in his hands for a moment to catch his breath. “I didn’t even realize until afterwards! I wasn’t even planning on saying any of that, it just… slipped.” He removed his face from his hands and took a deep breath in and out, letting himself soak in what had just happened.
“Oh, so you can be all like ‘Awwww, Makoto, I wanna keep you safe!!~~ Don’t stay out too late or the big scary men will get you!!~~’ but you can’t ask him to walk the damn dog together?” Despite his horrible impression of what Akihiko had said, he could tell that Junpei wasn’t genuinely upset. It seemed the opposite, actually, as if there was a sense of accomplishment and pride behind his teasing.
“Maybe if you hadn’t sprung this plan on me thirty seconds ago, I would’ve been able to ask.” Akihiko doubted that, actually, but at least he had plausible deniability.
“Maybe if you didn’t freak out like a schoolgirl every time he breathes in your direction, we wouldn’t be having this problem in the first place.” Junpei paused, then continued with an entirely different tone. “But either way, that was pretty good.” He smiled, taking the notebook back under his lap and writing something else down on the page. “Even if it wasn’t officially part of Operation Makoaki, you still used his first name. That was gonna go in step two, y’know. You’re ahead of the game.” Akihiko didn’t know what surprised him more; the fact that he’d actually been able to call Makoto by his given name, or the fact that Junpei had gotten far enough in his scheme to actually plan that out.
“You’re still calling it that?” Akihiko couldn’t bite back the smile on his face, as much as he still hated the name. He had a feeling that, somehow, as embarrassing as it was, Operation Makoaki was here to stay.
“I’ll come up with something more embarrassing, if you keep complaining about it.” There was a devilish glint in his eyes. “How about, uhh, MusicBoxer? Oh, the forbidden love between the boxing team captain and the mysterious lone wolf! Will they ever admit to their feelings, or will they succumb to the pressure of society? Find out in volume—”
“Alright, that’s enough,” he said with a chuckle. “Seriously, though, thank you.” Akihiko didn’t expect to be saying that tonight with how horribly this conversation had started, but without Junpei, he doubted he would have had the confidence to even attempt calling Makoto by his first name for at least another few months. So, he owed him a genuine expression of thanks, and probably an apology for the amount of times he nearly punched him. “You helped me tonight. Not in a way I really would have expected, but you still helped.”
“It’s no problem, man.” Junpei said with an uncharacteristically shy smile. “Seriously, I think you two would be cute together.” If he’d ended it there, Akihiko wouldn’t be able to wipe the stupid smile off of his face. However, he had to remind himself that it was Junpei he was talking to. “But, like, you both have the social skills of a brick wall. So if I have to play matchmaker to get you two together, then so be it.” Akihiko bit his lip and shot Junpei the billionth glare of the night. He wasn’t necessarily wrong, which made it hurt more than if he’d just thrown out a random insult.
“Y’know, maybe repeatedly insulting the guy you had to beg to help with your math test isn’t the smartest idea.” That seemed to remind Junpei why they were sitting at the kitchen table in the first place, his eyes widening with fear at the realization that he’d done no actual studying since sitting down an hour ago.
“Ah, shit.” He glanced up at the clock mounted on the wall, then mumbled a defeated, “Whoops.”
“Relax. I’ll still help you.” Junpei looked at him like he was his savior, even though Akihiko agreeing to help him study was what had gotten them into this mess in the first place. “A promise is a promise. And besides, I think I owe you one.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Sanada-senpai.” Junpei let out a breath of relief as he lifted his notebook back onto the table. He ripped out the ‘Operation Makoaki’ page and set it to the side, confirming Akihiko’s suspicions that the name wasn’t going anywhere. “Let’s see how much we can get through before your boyfriend comes back.”
“I reserve the right to change my mind, you know.”