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The first time they kissed had been rushed, quick, stolen, lacking time and privacy.
Late night under the neon lights, outside the Inn at Gold Saucer. She tasted of the cherry soda pop she had bought from a vending machine earlier. The taste lingered on his tongue for the rest of the night even though their lips had met only brief seconds.
It had been clumsy and secretive, with the same nervous eagerness of someone who was doing something illicit for the first time. The kind of rush that left them both exhilarated and guilty.
“We can’t, we really can’t.” She had said, eyes round and startled, wide open and pleading. Yet, her hand remained in his, fingers intertwined along the path to the hotel.
He was confused. Why couldn’t they? But the question felt no longer empty to him. There were a lot of reasons they couldn’t. The more they ventured into their journey the more he saw things clearer. Events he had no right knowing about. Emotions he couldn’t quite explain.
The most terrifying one was the vacant space he felt inside his chest whenever she walked away from him a certain way. It made him feel like his heart wasn’t beating, like he couldn’t breathe.
It almost always followed a painful headache, a flash of bright light in his eyes and the vision of still water and her hands in prayer.
He knew.
Cloud could feel what it meant, even though he didn't fully understand it.
And when he asked her about it, she looked at him with a deep sadness in her eyes, as though she had been expecting that question for a long time.
He told her it would be different, that he’d save her, that Sephiroth would never touch her. She placed a palm on his cheek, eyes pooling with tears long due and nodded. She wanted it to be different too.
They grew closer from that day on, as if the ties of fate had been broken somehow, like they were no longer bound by the fear of losing each other. Slowly they were becoming inseparable.
In battles he’d hover close to her and during missions they’d pair up together. Something about them being on an endless date, the others started saying when they gathered around for the night and Cloud and Aerith were the last ones to come back to meet them.
“We make a good team, that’s all.” Aerith said with a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
“Yeah… I’ve heard it being called many things.” Barret laughed. “Who would have thought you had it in ya, merc.” He elbowed Cloud.
And Cloud didn’t mind the labels others tried to place on them; as long as it meant they could be together.
The second time they kissed had been slower, tender, hesitant, as if searching for reassurance. Everything was new, everything felt different.
A date under the stars, sitting close to a fire pit at Cosmo Canyon. He leaned in and their foreheads touched.
The fire crackled. The wind rustled to a stop.
He felt her breathing hitch, entwining with his. Her skin was warm and tendrils of her hair brushed his cheeks lightly, her scent of flowers and woods surrounded him. He tilted his head and finally pressed his lips against hers, feeling the plump softness of her mouth.
Lips grazed on lips, hers were softer than his, warmer too. Skin pressed against tongue and suddenly she was pulling back to look at him, a smile breaking in her face.
“I’m sorry.” He froze in place, mind reeling with all kinds of thoughts. Had he been too forward, had he crossed any line, he didn’t exactly know what he was doing, how to read the signs, or how to respond to them.
“Oh, don’t apologize.” She shook her head, her cheeks were a soft blush of pink, green eyes bright and sparkling, face flushed, the flickering flames adding a warmth to her features. Her smile was radiant, illuminated. She touched her lips with the tips of her fingers, as if she could encapsulate the sensation of his kiss in them.
“I’m bad…” he said looking away, voice quiet. “…at this.”
“Bad at what?” She said gently, reaching out to touch his arm.
“You know..”
“Hmmm?”
“Kissing.” He mumbled.
“Do you do this a lot?” She asked, lightly, voice lilting.
“No!” He said almost too eagerly, looking up to meet her eyes. He frowned and cleared his throat. “No.” He said, softer.
“Then how do you know you’re bad at it?”
“I…” he started, but the words drowned in his throat, he didn’t know how to answer that. She was always one step ahead and he cursed himself at his inexperience, it made him look foolish, hopeless.
“Hey, it’s okay.” She said, her hand was still on his arm. “Practice makes perfect, mom always said.” She tightened her grip on his arm, her eyes locking onto his in a way that made his heart race.
His brain shut, suddenly he couldn’t think when she leaned in against his shoulder to shorten the distance between them. “Can we try again?” She asked.
And he could only swallow. And he could only close his eyes while she inhaled deeply, feeling the warmth of her breath on his lips.
This time it wasn’t rushed or hesitant. It was gentle and steadier, even though he didn’t quite know where to place his hands, or find the right angle at first. But as they remained close, he found her guidance through her touch. She placed a hand on the back of his neck, her other one slid up to his shoulder. When she tilted left, he readjusted. Her lips moved against his, soft and slow, moldable. He felt a surge of warmth as he found himself lost in the moment.
When they parted, she was breathless.
“Better?” He asked.
“Not really.” She smirked.
Again, he didn’t know what to say, so he just kept looking at her in silence, feeling his cheeks burning, the world spinning.
“Just kidding.” She nudged his arm.
He let out a deep breath, ran a hand through his hair. She’d be the death of him one day, that much he was sure.
“It doesn’t really matter to me if we’re good or bad at kissing.” She smiled, head turning to the sky. “I just know I like kissing you very much.” She said.
He followed her gaze up towards the stars. At night in that part of the town, it looked like the canyon stretched on forever. As if they could climb it all the way up to the sky.
“Yeah…” he said, “…me too.”
No one had made him feel as accepted as her. Like all his flaws were perfect examples of what he should cherish about himself. In her presence, he felt a sense of comfort that he had never experienced before.
They had fun together, he found himself smiling a lot more. It was lighter around her, despite the obstacles of their objective.
At night she’d crawl into his tent, lay beside him, hands clasped together, sipping on canned juice and talking about first experiences. With her he experienced a lot of firsts, the world had never felt so small before her. She told him she did too.
Like the first time she climbed a tree to pick ripe apples, straying from their path just so she could see an orchard. Or the first time she saw the lights of a city from a hilltop, glowing like a patchwork of stars below. Or the first time she built a campfire and burnt a meal in the wild. They ended up having to go into town for a restaurant, but nothing could take away the smile of accomplishment plastered all over her face that night, of getting everyone together for a nice warm meal in a nice quiet place.
“It was lonely growing up.” She told him once as she played with his hand idly, she didn’t let out much, for someone as communicative as her. It made his heart ache, knowing her past had been a painful place for her, but her willingness to share it with him meant a lot more than he could express.
“For me too.” He told her. It wasn’t easy, sharing. Not because he didn’t want to, but because most of it had been lost.
“Tifa told me.” She said, fingertips tracing lines on his palm as she spoke, her voice soft in the stillness of the afternoon.
In the end it was the little things that made her heart beat faster. The little details in life that made each day feel special to her.
And they’d kiss under the stars until they fell asleep, intertwined in each other's dreams.
There were harder days, there had to be, their journey wasn’t an easy one, too emotional, too messy. More friends joined them and soon enough they were a group of people that had created bonds as strong as family.
It didn’t mean he sometimes didn’t feel lonely, a part of him was still incomplete, his memories, his purpose in life.
But when it felt harder, darker, she’d hold his hand tightly, giving him a reassuring smile to keep going. It kept him afloat.
They picked up flowers in the endless fields. The wind caught on her hair, flapping the ends of her skirt. When she was bent over the stalks, the sun cast a halo around her, turning her figure into an ethereal being amidst the rustic landscape. A picture out of a painting from a time long forgotten, a moment frozen in time that he wanted to hold onto forever.
“Oh, those are irises!!” She said cheerfully as she looked at the cluster of violet blue buds in his hands.
“What do these mean? ” He asked, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. If someone told him a while back he’d be interested in flowers one day, he would have laughed at their faces.
“Courage and hope.” She said. Green eyes, as bright as the sunlit leaves in between them, looked at him with uncontainable happiness.
“Do you think we could open a flower shop?” She asked him after a moment of silence. “You know, when this is all over.”
For her, anything.
“Is that what you want to do?” He asked.
She paused to think, keeping her hands busy collecting another handful of flowers, white ones. “Yes. A small garden on the back, a white counter and pink curtains,” she said, her words slow and deliberate, as if she was painting a mental picture of the shop.
“Consider it done.” He told her.
But her smile didn’t reach her eyes this time.
They filled a basket of a variety of different wildflowers she would use to sell crowns in the towns they visited.
And she’d always save one for a different friend each time. When she placed a crown of red poppies on Vincent’s head, he didn’t even blink. He kept it there until morning.
“Remembrance, peace.” She told him as she adjusted the crown, and visibly something flickered in his red eyes. That was how special she was to everyone, capturing moments that would become cherished memories for years to come.
Like the first time they stepped foot onto Cid’s airship.
“Take my hand!” She exclaimed, voice sounding excited with a note of nervousness. She gripped Cloud’s hand tight, her knees shook with anticipation as they approached the edge of the boarding platform.
“You okay?” Cloud asked, trying to control his own apprehension, rising above his motion sickness to steady her.
“Don’t let go!” She called as she reached for the railing of the airship ramp, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of excitement and fear.
“Not afraid of heights, are ya?” Cid asked as he walked past them.
“No, not afraid of that.” She said with a smile. “Just… a bit nervous about the unknown.”
Cloud stopped to look at her, considering her words, but the moment he did was the moment it dawned on him they were breaching some kind of veil between worlds. The airship, with its loud engines and vast, open space, seemed to occupy a realm much different from the world they knew.
That sense of loss he used to feel filled his chest with a familiar ache. He squeezed her hand and pulled her close against his chest, arms tightening around her, tears suddenly stinging his eyes.
“I know.” She said softly, gentle words whispered against his shoulder. “Let’s make the most of this, shall we?”
And if it wasn’t for his motion sickness, he would have.
Cloud was left watching from his seat as she extended her arms to the sky from the airship's deck, jumping, laughing along with Tifa as they cheered on Cid when he mastered yet another daring maneuver with the ship.
It made Cloud gag, curl down on his stomach - the bouncing, the swerving up and free falling down. The pilot was the best in the business he had to admit, though Cloud's body just couldn't keep up. It was worth seeing her smile, seeing that joy, so he never complained and swallowed each indisposition.
After that ride she kissed him hungrily, passionately, as soon as she joined him in his room. She was no longer contained and he was not shy anymore. Each kiss was fiery and consuming, a promise of everything they had yet to explore. She kissed his eyes, his nose, his neck, his mouth.
“We’ve gotten pretty good at this, huh?” She pulled back to stare at his eyes, a smile lingering on her lips, a glint of excitement sparkling in her gaze.
“Not really.” He shrugged, and smiled playfully.
She let out a soft sigh, a gentle giggle, the sound bubbly and carefree.
“I think you just want more practice, mister.” She told him, her fingers played with his hair, tousling it even more. The lamp post light swayed gently outside the window, casting dancing shadows across the dark lit room and across her face, her eyes glinted in golden green.
“Maybe.” He replied.
And when she kissed him again, he forgot all about that turbulent ride.
Sephiroth wasn’t defeated yet, but he wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t going to lose her.
He pulled her closer against him.
“Can we stay up tonight?” She asked. “I want to watch the sunrise.”
He didn’t contest her ways, he would fulfill each and every one of her requests. The thought of spending more time with her filled him with an overwhelming sense of contentment. “Sure,” he replied. “We can do that.”
She kissed him, warm lips in the cold of night.
When dawn breached through the horizon, casting a soft pink glow over the room, he glanced at her and she was dozing off, head resting softly on his shoulder, bobbing softly back and forth.
He smiled at the peaceful scene, deciding he’d let her sleep. They’d watch the sun some other morning.
He closed his eyes, leaned his head against hers. The warmth of her breath fanning his neck and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat lulling him into a peaceful sleep.