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“Be normal, be normal, it’s just Helen…” Liv whispered to herself as she nervously ran her hands down her outfit, flicking away imaginary fluff and smoothing non-existent creases in an attempt at making herself feel a little better. She shouldn’t be this anxious, not really… She had known Helen for years now, but today was different. It marked the first time that the two of them would be going on a date, something that she had only dreamt about before, and hadn’t dared imagine would actually come true.
In truth, she had almost given up hope that she and Helen would ever progress beyond the bounds of a platonic friendship. It didn’t mean that the feelings that she had held for her for so many years were any less, of course - she still loved her with every fibre of her being. She had resigned herself to a life spent at her side, reasoning that a life with Helen as her best friend and confidante with no hint of romance was better than not having her in her life at all. That had all changed just a few days ago when the pair of them had been baking scones in the kitchen.
Liv was the first to admit that she couldn’t cook, but when Helen had expressed a desire for one of the sweet treats she hadn’t been able to resist giving it a go. She had become rather fond of them herself, in fact, when they had been living in London, and the pair of them had whiled away the long days of being stranded visiting various shops and cafes and sampling different varieties to see which was best. She was still adamant that M&S were the best, and Helen had agreed with her - although they argued about whether it was better to put on jam or cream first.
It had all been going rather well until she got to the stage where she had to roll out the dough. She had found all the ingredients, got out all the equipment, and even downloaded a recipe from the computer in the TARDIS to go by, but when she tipped the mixture onto the work surface it had been far too wet, and had stuck to just about everything and started to ooze over the counter and drip down the cupboards. It hadn’t looked like that in the picture…
It was in that state that Helen had found her - swearing colourfully at dough as she frantically tried to scoop it up with two wooden spoons, not being able to find the tongs in her haste, although she wasn’t sure that they would have helped if she had. The linguist had stood in the door for a few moments before alerting her to her presence with a soft giggle, asking her what she had been trying to do. Liv had been desperately embarrassed - she and Helen had had an agreement for a long time that she was not to attempt anything too strenuous in the kitchen, although she still maintained that the flood wasn’t her fault, nor was the subsequent fire given how wet everything had been. She had flagrantly gone against that agreement, and she had blushed furiously when she had realised Helen was there.
It was during her stuttering apology that she had confessed her plan to make the scones, and when Helen had asked why she hadn’t been able to stop herself explaining that she wanted to do something to make her happy… and that she would always do those things if there was a hope of seeing her best friend smile. She almost admitted that she had missed the moments of cosy domesticity that they had shared in London, and had hoped to recapture a little of that feeling… And it was then that Helen captured something else entirely - her lips.
It had been brief and chaste, but wonderfully lovely, and Liv had felt an explosion of hope at the contact. Although Helen had been worried that she had misstepped, they had soon talked it out and realised that their feelings for each other went far beyond the bonds of ordinary friendship. It had amazed Liv that Helen had been harbouring exactly the same feelings for her, but had been too worried about losing her friendship to say anything about it. They had soon moved on to more kisses, and cuddles and tentative touches that they had dreamt of for such a long time that it was almost overwhelming to finally get the opportunity, and along with that came the suggestion from her of a first date. Liv wanted to mark the occasion with something more than some badly made scones, after all.
And that was how she came to be standing at the front door of the TARDIS, smoothing her hands down the fitted navy suit that she had picked from the wardrobe hall earlier that day. She had been so sure about it at the time - it had been the first one that she had tried after turning her nose up at the rows of dresses that really were not her, and she had decided that it suited her. Now, though, she wasn’t so sure. What if Helen hated it? What if she thought that she hadn’t made enough effort to befit the occasion? What if-
“Wow…” Helen’s breathy murmur cut through the control room and Liv whipped around, flushing slightly as she realised that the blonde had crept up on her yet again. As she did so she couldn’t help her mouth dropping open - the other woman looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a fitted navy velvet dress with a plunging neckline, tights and some heels that made her legs look even more long and beautiful than they already were. Her hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders, and her blue eyes twinkled happily as they gazed back at her.
“Wow, yourself,” she gave back with a shy smile, gesturing towards her girlfriend’s attire. “You look beautiful, Helen…” As the blonde walked over she held out her hand to her, pulling her in for a quick kiss as she stood on her tiptoes. “How did I get so lucky as to get to take you on a date?”
“I don’t know, did you make a wish, or something?” Helen asked, smiling against her lips as she kissed her back. “I’ve got no idea what I did, either… this still all feels like a bit of a dream.”
“What are we dreaming about?” The two women jumped, their reverie interrupted by the Doctor who had suddenly appeared at their sides, looking between them with a smile. “I had an incredibly interesting dream myself, last time I actually got some sleep. Dreamt I was in a fortress made out of jelly babies, and I was having to eat my way out. Woke up chewing my sleeve.” He frowned, and the two of them giggled at him indulgently. They hadn’t yet told him about the progression in their relationship - they had wanted to, but an adventure and yet another occasion of running for their lives had followed right after their confession and they had not yet had the chance.
“Nothing much… just happiness, and the woman I love,” Liv hummed, looking up at her girlfriend and tenderly brushing a piece of hair out of her eyes. “You do look utterly gorgeous, you know.” She suspected that this action would probably clue the Doctor in to the change in their friendship, although he didn’t seem to realise that anything was different.
“Good, good…” he smiled, rocking back and forwards on his heels. “So, where are we going?”
“ We aren’t going anywhere. Helen and I… we’re going out,” Liv said a little awkwardly, pulling Helen a little closer and trying not to feel too guilty about the way that their friend’s face fell. They had said to him earlier that they were going out, and even asked him to take them somewhere appropriate, but she hadn’t thought that he would want to come with them. And this was their first date, too!
“Oh… oh, right,” he said, looking down a little sadly, his arms dropping to his sides. “Is this just an outing for the two of you, then? No room for me?”
Liv opened her mouth to reply, but as she did she looked up at Helen, who was looking at her so imploringly that she faltered. She couldn’t really be suggesting that the Doctor tagged along with them on their first date? She loved him, of course she did, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to share this frankly momentous occasion with him. That seemed to be one step too far.
“I don’t-” she started, but Helen nudged her, her eyes widening so much that it was obvious that she was pleading with her to change what she was going to say. Another glance at the Doctor didn’t help - he resembled a kicked puppy, his bottom lip sticking out almost comically. “Fine. If you want to come, you can. But you probably won’t like it… we’re going out for food, and-”
“I LOVE food!” the Doctor exclaimed, clapping his hands together as his face flooded with a massive grin. “Just the kind of trip I’ve been hoping for. Now, should I go and change? I’ve got a rather nice pink and orange suit that will go nicely with what you’re wearing, Liv, and even a navy bow tie that I could wear to match the both of you. What do you think?”
“NO!” they both chorused, Liv looking horrified as Helen giggled. That would not be a good plan at all.
xOxOxOx
“Ladies, it’s a pleasure to welcome you tonight to-” The waiter broke off as the Doctor barged in between his two companions with a huge grin, wrapping his arms around them both as he peered forwards into the restaurant. “Apologies, I thought that you were here for Chenka, party of two?”
“We are…” Liv growled, rolling her eyes, and Helen gave her a surreptitious kick and a warning look in response. She couldn’t help it - the walk from the TARDIS had been filled with incessant chatter from their friend, and it had rather spoilt the companionable sunset walk that she had been envisaging. She had asked the Doctor if he could land in a particular place in Italy, right on the coast so that they might walk the promenade on their way to dinner - and he had done that beautifully. What he hadn’t done was leave them to it. With a resigned sigh she gestured to him. “Although we have one more now. So it’s three.”
“Oh…” The man looked a little awkward as he looked down at his clipboard with a worried frown. “I’m afraid that you won’t be able to have the table in the window as you asked for, as that only has capacity for two. But there is room at a table in the back, near the kitchen.” He looked up at them with a hopeful smile, and Liv felt another surge of annoyance. When she had booked earlier that day - after taking an hour or so to scout out the best restaurant, of course - she had been able to picture herself and Helen sitting in the little alcove in the window that would have afforded them a little more privacy than the rest of the tables. It would have been a time for them to share soft words and discuss their newfound relationship, and even their hopes for the future, all the while looking out at the beautiful view of the moonlit bay. That was obviously not going to happen.
“But-” she started, but Helen nudged her again, glaring at her.
“That will be lovely, thank you,” the linguist said politely, and Liv’s shoulders slumped in defeat. She might have known that Helen would be much more gracious than she was. She would still get to spend time with the beautiful blonde, but somehow a first date with the Doctor in tow didn’t have the same appeal. With a brisk nod the waiter gathered some menus and led them towards a tiny table at the back of the restaurant with no view at all. It was in a rather shady part of the room and one of the chairs had its back perilously close to the door of the kitchen. And, of course, that was where she ended up when the Doctor parked himself between them with his back to the wall.
“Well, this is lovely,” he enthused, looking between them with a beam. Despite herself Liv had to agree… Helen snuck her hand across the crisp linen of the tablecloth and took her own, squeezing gently as she shot her a reassuring smile. Although there wasn’t a view it would still be a perfectly nice meal, and she tried to tell herself that she would have spent most of her time staring at Helen anyway, so what difference did it make? She was just starting to relax, smiling back, when the door of the kitchen flew open and hit her smartly on the back of the head.
“Shit!” she yelped, her hand flying up to press against the bump that she had taken, wincing as her fingers probed the spot. It hadn’t been too hard, not really, but it smarted nonetheless. Even as Helen looked at her in concern it flew open again, the clattering of pans followed by some colourful swearing from a person that she assumed was the chef echoing out. This time, luckily, it just hit the back of her chair, but it was enough to have the crystal glasses that graced the table wobbling perilously.
“Liv, are you alright?” Helen asked in concern, her brow furrowing as she took in her girlfriend. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine,” Liv growled, tucking her chair in a little more tightly, as she dropped her hand again. If that was going to happen for the entire meal then she suspected that she would quickly be driven mad - again, hardly the wonderful date that she had hoped for. It would be memorable for all the wrong reasons.
At that moment another waiter appeared, beaming at them as he produced a perfect, pure white rose with a flourish. He held it out towards Helen with a little bow. “Ma’am, for you,” he simpered with a little smile. “Courtesy of your dining companion.”
Helen’s face lit up into a happy smile, casting a shy look at Liv as she reached for the beautiful flower. Liv felt herself blush - she had wanted it to be a romantic gesture in honour of the occasion, and although it was a little spoilt by the presence of their friend - who was now whistling - it seemed to have the desired effect on the blonde. Helen looked thrilled.
That was until, just as Helen was taking it carefully from the waiter’s hand, the Doctor reached over and snatched it from her grasp. He brought it to his face, sniffing deeply with his eyes closed. “Beautiful! Oh, I do love roses!” he trilled, pushing his nose even further into the bloom. “Lovely!”
The waiter, for his part, cast Liv a glance filled with apology and embarrassment before scurrying away, leaving the med-tech seething as her girlfriend smiled indulgently at the Doctor, seemingly rather amused at his actions. “That wasn’t for you,” Liv snarled, digging her fingernails into her leg as she fought the urge to snatch it from his grasp. “I arranged that for Helen.”
“Oh! Sorry!” Pulling it quickly back from his face he quickly extended it towards Helen, dropping it in front of her. As he did so a couple of the petals fell off and fluttered to the floor, the stem a little bent from his enthusiastic hold. “There you go, Helen. Bit of water and that will be as good as new.”
Liv was about to erupt, seething as she glowered darkly at him, but Helen squeezed her hand once again to get her attention. When she met her eyes, she found them dancing with amusement with a little smile playing around her lips. “It’s beautiful, I love it,” she enthused, nodding reassuringly at Liv as she traced the delicate petals with her fingers. “Thank you, Liv.”
“You’re welcome,” she muttered ungraciously, knowing that she was likely overreacting but unable to help another surge of annoyance. This just wasn’t how she pictured it…
A little while later after they had ordered their food - a risotto for Helen, a pasta dish for herself and what was probably going to be an obscenely large pizza for the Doctor - the three of them had fallen into a slightly more settled conversation. Liv was still irritated, but was doing her best to push the feeling down - she didn’t want to spoil the evening fully, and she still got to spend time with Helen, so all wasn’t entirely lost.
“Ooh, is that cannoli?!” the Doctor suddenly gasped, standing up so quickly that he nearly took the table cloth with him. Their glasses of wine sloshed dangerously on the table, a few drops escaping and leaving crimson blots on the otherwise pristine tablecloth. “It’s been years since I’ve had cannoli!”
“Watch it!” Liv grumbled, holding the table steady as he hurried away towards a glass covered counter full of sweet treats, hardly managing to bite back the curse that she wanted to let out. “Honestly, that man…”
“Oh, it’s not so bad, is it?” Helen asked, offering her a soft smile. “It’s quite nice having him here. We make quite the team, after all, so it only feels normal and natural that he’s with us.”
Liv gaped at her a little, not quite able to believe that she was taking this so casually. Did she not want a special first date too? Was she really okay with the whole thing being gatecrashed by the Doctor? “Wouldn’t you rather it was just us, though?” she asked with a sigh, raking her hand through her hair. As she did she barely avoided the door again, having grown used to listening for the hurrying footsteps of the waiter that told her that it was about to open. “It is our first date, after all… And I’d planned it just for us.” She fought to keep her mouth from turning down at the edges, not wanting Helen to see just how crestfallen she was, but it seemed that she couldn’t hide her true feelings from her.
“It’s okay, Liv, there will be other opportunities,” she gave back anxiously, searching her expression as she bit her lip. “We’ll have other chances to go on dates, I’m sure, and-”
“Yes, but it will never be the first one again,” Liv retorted stubbornly. “And-” She was about to carry on when a young woman appeared, grinning at them both as she held up a camera.
“Miei cari,” she started, gesturing between them both. “Una foto per gli innamorati?” Whilst Liv didn’t speak Italian, she was incredibly grateful for the translation circuit offered by the TARDIS, and understood her perfectly. A photo for the lovers… that sounded perfect.
“Yes, please,” she replied with a grin, and Helen nodded quickly too. The pair of them clasped their hands between them over the table, leaning in close as she raised her camera. Liv couldn’t help sneaking a look at her, still utterly amazed that she was lucky enough to be able to call this woman her girlfriend. As she did a tantalising waft of her perfume crept up her nose, and a happy smile drew to her lips along with a feeling of calm. Helen was right - as long as they were getting to spend time together that was the main thing.
The woman’s finger was just going to the shutter when there was a crash,the Doctor appearing back at the table and leaning across the linen table cloth to wrap his arms around their shoulders in an attempt to join the picture. He had managed to overturn Liv’s glass of wine, the red liquid spreading in a puddle across the table cloth and starting to drip off the side onto Liv’s trousers as he grinned at the young woman. “Almost didn’t make it!” he said breathlessly, and then the camera clicked and then started to whir as it began to produce a photo. The young woman dropped it from her face, looking a little embarrassed as Liv turned to him furiously.
“Liv…” Helen warned, grabbing her arm in an attempt to calm her, She opened her mouth, but another imploring look from Helen had her swallowing the acidic barb that she had been about to direct his way.
“Know how to make an entrance, don’t you?” she growled instead, glaring at him as the woman pushed the photo into her hand and fled. What could have been a lovely memory of their first date had turned into a farce - the picture was filled with the Doctor’s grinning face, Helen looking at him in shock whilst Liv’s face was half cut off. What there was of her wasn’t great either - her expression was etched in fury, and it wasn’t a good look.
“Sorry, tripped on the table leg,” he hummed, sitting down again and making an elaborate show of flapping his napkin before draping it artfully on his lap. “The cannoli look good, though. I’ll be buying some to take home with us, thought that we could try all the flavours. They even had bubblegum flavour!”
“Good for you,” she muttered uncharitably, not being able to imagine anything worse than bubblegum flavoured cream. She folded her arms, and Helen shook her head a little, tutting. Ddi she really not get it? She thought that she was being shockingly reasonable, really, given what their friend had been interrupting, so the tut was going a little far. Silence fell between them as Liv stared off into middle distance, brooding, whilst the Doctor whistled tunelessly..
They were saved from the awkward silence by the food arriving, a flurry of waiters depositing their plates on the table one by one with happy smiles. As they did so Liv took a deep breath, willing herself to get out of the sullen mood that she had fallen into. It was hardly conducive to romance… Maybe they could just eat quickly and then continue the date back at the TARDIS? There were a couple of movies that they wanted to watch - it might be nice to snuggle up together and while away the evening. At least she might be able to sneak a few kisses like that, too.
“This looks wonderful,” Helen commented happily, looking appreciatively down at her plate. “This was a lovely suggestion, thank you, Liv.”
“Yes, much better than your cooking,” the Doctor teased, although went quiet as he picked up the pizza cutter and spun the wheel experimentally. “What’s this for?”
“That’s a pizza cutter,” Helen giggled, taking it from him and demonstrating how he could use it to slice up his pizza. “Honestly, Doctor, I thought you knew everything?”
“Fascinating…” he mumbled as he watched Helen, taking the implement with a curious smile when she had finished slicing the pizza in half. “Let me just…”
Glad that he was distracted, Liv turned to her own food. The pasta looked delicious - it seemed homemade, and covered with a creamy sauce that made her mouth water as delicious smells of cheese and garlic wafted up in the fragrant steam. It probably wasn’t the best choice given that she hoped to share some kisses later with the lovely linguist, but she was sure that she might be able to detour to the bathroom quickly to brush her teeth once they got back. She picked up her fork and dug in, shooting a little smile across at the other woman who did the same.
After placing a spoonful of her own food in her mouth Helen let out a little moan, her eyes fluttering closed as she chewed. Liv paused with her fork halfway to her own mouth, a flare of desire flickering in her stomach at the noise. What she wouldn’t give to be the one eliciting such noises from her…
“Nice?” she asked, swallowing nervously as she watched her girlfriend intently.
“Absolutely delicious,” Helen groaned appreciatively, scooping a little more of the risotto onto her spoon and holding it out towards her. “Here, you try…” Liv smiled at her, leaning a little closer to allow Helen to bring the spoon closer to her lips. She was just opening her mouth ready when the Doctor pushed between them again, snatching the spoon and pushing it into his own mouth.
“Oh, wow, amazing!” he mumbled through a mouth full of rice, his eyes wide as he looked between them. “Here, you try…” He snatched up a piece of pizza loaded with a whole manner of toppings - he had insisted on having every topping possible, and had been a little affronted when the waiter had informed him that jelly babies were not on the menu - and shoved it in Liv’s mouth. His aim was terrible - rather than getting it where he had intended he managed to smear it all over her face in his haste, the hot tomato sauce burning Liv’s skin as she skittered backwards. As she did the kitchen door flew open again, bashing into her, and this time she wasn’t prepared. With an impact that seemed to happen in slow motion she tumbled off her chair, banging her head once again on the hard wood.
Silence fell, Helen and the Doctor looking down at her. Helen looked utterly mortified, whereas the Doctor seemed to think that it was funny, a chortle of laughter leaving him before he caught sight of Liv’s murderous expression. “Sorry, Liv… I just thought you might like to try it,” he apologised with a little shrug, but it was too little too late for the med-tech. Standing up, she picked up her napkin and wiped off her face with savage strokes before throwing it on the table.
“I need a minute,” she said tightly, turning and striding away from the table as quickly as she could manage.
“Liv!” Helen’s voice followed her, but she didn’t pay any attention. If she stayed at the table for one more instant she might actually kill the Time Lord, and despite the anger she felt towards him in that moment she didn’t want to do that - or say something that she might regret. Better than she took a little while to compose herself… Although everything felt somehow spoiled now. She had had so many lovely plans for the evening, but every time she got to share any moments of intimacy with the blonde they were ruined. It would be a first date to remember - for all the wrong reasons.
She shoved her hands into her pockets as she left the restaurant, hot tears gathering in her eyes as she ignored the concerned inquiry from the waiter. The cool air of the night brushed against her skin as she reached the promenade again, starting to walk briskly in the opposite direction to the TARDIS. It was such a lovely place - she had been so excited to bring Helen here. Stars twinkled overhead, a reminder of their life together, and a soft breeze that smelt like fragrant herbs made the loose wisps of her hair flutter against her cheeks. As she walked she came to a rather sobering realisation… Despite the presence of the Doctor she could have made the best of things, taken it in good humour and had a laugh with her friends. Instead she had made things awkward and uncomfortable… What if Helen didn’t want to go on another date? What if she had ruined it?
The thought was terrifying. She cared so much about the other woman, was so in love with her… What if she had put her off? She spotted a bench nestled in a curve in the path, the promenade jutting out over a little cliff with the waves crashing gently below, and made her way over to it and dropped down. She really had stuffed it up… She dragged her sleeve over her face, trying to get rid of the tears that had tumbled down her cheeks. She needed to pull herself together… Perhaps the evening was still salvageable? Even if it was, she just needed a moment to calm down…
“Liv?” Helen’s voice echoed out of the darkness, and she couldn’t help jumping, disturbed from her introspective thoughts. “Liv, is that you?”
“Yeah,” she mumbled, hanging her head as a little rush of air at her side let her know that Helen had arrived at the bench. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see the look of disappointment or chastisement that the other woman was sure to be wearing as a result of her behaviour. “Sorry.”
The other woman sighed and sat down next to her, gently tugging one of her hands from her pocket and enfolding it in her own. “I… I think it might be me that needs to apologise.” Helen’s voice was anxious, and Liv’s eyes snapped open as she turned to face her. The blonde’s brow was furrowed, a guilty expression painted across her features.
“What do you mean? Why would you have to say sorry?” she asked in confusion, dragging the sleeve of her other arm over her face again to try and get rid of all evidence of the tears that had refused to stop trickling down her face. “Surely it’s me that owes you an apology? This was meant to be our first date, and I’ve ruined it by acting like an idiot.”
“You weren’t acting like an idiot,” Helen gave back softly, running her thumb over her knuckles as she offered her a nervous smile. As Liv raised her eyebrows incredulously she couldn’t stop a giggle leaving her, and Liv was glad to hear it. “Okay, well… not like a total idiot. You planned a lovely evening.”
“I tried,” Liv sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I love him, you know I do… but I can’t help but wish that it had been just us. I should have been more gracious about it though.”
“Ah… you see, that’s why I need to apologise.” Now it was time for Helen to hang her head, the flush on her cheeks evident despite the low light. “I invited him.”
“You invited him?” Liv’s mouth dropped open, shocked at her girlfriend’s confession. “How… why…?” She pulled back a little, not quite believing her at first, but one look at Helen’s tormented expression told her that it was true. Hurt rushed through her… she had thought that they were both on the same page, that they both wanted this. Had Helen changed her mind?
“Please, Liv, I’m sorry,” Helen said desperately, turning and grabbing her hands in her own, trying to keep her close.”Please… please don’t look at me like that…”
“Why, Helen?” Liv asked in a small, hurt voice. “Did… did you not want this? Didn’t you want to come? Have you… changed your mind? About… me? Us?”
“No! No, Liv, please don’t think that, I…” Tears started to roll down the blonde’s face, and she started to tremble next to her, clearly terrified at the insinuation. It was that that kept Liv sitting next to her - she had felt the urge to flee, to escape the situation and try and protect her heart from whatever Helen had to say, as she couldn’t see anything in this situation that would be good.
“Why, then,” she muttered, looking down at their hands. “Did you not want to spend time with me?”
“I do, it’s just…” Helen breathed in shakily, clinging onto her tightly as if she was terrified of letting her go. “I… I’ve just never actually been on a date before. And… I didn’t want to get it wrong.”
Liv blinked at her as she hung her head, a tear of her own dribbling down her cheek. “Get it wrong? How would you get it wrong?” she asked in confusion, moving to gently brush the moisture from her face. Her heart squeezed painfully… She hadn’t realised that Helen had never been on a date before. She knew that she was the more experienced one - Helen had made inferences to that when they had confessed their feelings together, and she had never got the impression that there had been anyone truly special in her past. “Helen…” she murmured as the other woman struggled to get a hold of herself, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. “Helen, come on… it’s okay.”
“It’s not…” she gave back thickly, shaking her head. “You put so much effort in… and I was just worried that I… I’d say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing… or disappoint you in some way. I… I didn’t want to let you down.”
“You could never let me down,” Liv gave back softly, edging a little closer as she gently trailed her fingertips down her cheek. “How could you ever think that? And how does that tie into inviting the Doctor?”
“Because you said you’d been waiting so long to take me on a first date… And you were so excited about it, and I couldn’t think of anything we could talk about and-” Helen mumbled emotionally, but Liv was quick to interject.
“Helen, you know that I haven’t suddenly had a personality transplant since things changed, don’t you?” Liv chuckled, raising her eyebrows at her. “Although maybe you hoped that I had? Anyway, this is just me… we’ve always found things to talk about before, haven’t we? Just because we’re… together… now… that doesn’t change that. At the end of the day, what I was really looking forward to was just spending time with you… And I’m sorry if I put too much pressure on that. I didn’t mean to.”
“Please, don’t apologise,” Helen replied, offering her a wobbly smile. “Everything you’ve done tonight, it’s been so lovely, and you’ve made me feel so special… Even though everything hasn’t quite worked as you’d planned, the thought was there. Even if I did spoil it.”
“You didn’t, not at all…” Liv crossed the gap between them, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips in an attempt at reassurance. “The Doctor, meanwhile… I’ll be having words with him. Did he really not realise that this was a date?”
“Clueless,” Helen hummed, and she couldn’t help but laugh. It was so typical of the Doctor not to understand the subtleties of such things, and although it could be annoying it was also rather endearing. “I’m sorry, Liv.”
“I’m sorry too,” Liv replied earnestly, and was about to carry on when Helen carried on.
“I just wanted you to feel special too… the way that you always make me feel special,” she whispered, dropping her gaze again. “And… I wanted to show you I love you. And I didn’t know how… and I panicked.” She sighed deeply and bit her lip, and Liv waited, knowing that there was more. “You make it seem so easy - you wear your heart on your sleeve, you make it look so easy to give compliments and do lovely things… I don’t find it so easy.”
“That’s okay, though,” Liv replied, tentatively wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close. Although Helen’s posture was stiff she soon relaxed into her with a gentle exhale, and she buried her face in her hair, kissing her crown. “You don’t seem to realise how wonderful you make me feel just by being you. You don’t have to do anything - just be you. It’s you that I love, and want to be with.”
“Really?” Helen breathed, and Liv nodded, pressing another kiss to her head. “I… I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“I’ve been asking myself the same question, reversed, since you kissed me,” Liv admitted, and both of them giggled softly. It would take some time for them both to settle into their relationship, but she knew that however long it took it would be worth it. “Now… how about we-”
“Oi, you two!” the Doctor’s voice carried over the waves, and Liv couldn't help the little groan that left her lips as they both turned towards their friend. He waved enthusiastically, and both of them gave a little wave back, although Liv knew that her smile was rather forced. He couldn’t be interrupting yet another moment?? She resolved to make sure that their bedroom doors had locks going forwards - once they got to that stage of their relationship there was nothing that was going to interrupt her.
“Yes?” the both chorused, sharing a conspiratorial little smile as Liv held her more tightly.
“I’m going back to the TARDIS, I’ve finished eating,” he called, grinning at them. “And I’ve got a load of cannoli for dessert, too! Don’t be too long, or I’ll eat them all.”
“Don’t eat too many, you’ll be sick!” Liv shot back, earning herself a little chuckle from Helen as a result. She knew that she sounded like a mother hen, but their friend rarely seemed to manage to take care of himself. “And I’m not going to be the one cleaning you up.”
“No, I should imagine you’ll be too busy,” he retorted, wiggling his eyebrows as he looked between them both. Helen gasped, and Liv flushed as a little smirk crossed her lips. Apparently he had been more clued in than they had thought… “I’ll see you later. Take your time.” With that, he turned on his heel and strode off, whistling the same inane tune as he had earlier.
“Well, that’s told us,” Liv laughed, standing up and holding her hand out to Helen. “Miss Sinclair, would you care to go on a date? A… do over?” she asked hopefully, and was relieved when Helen smiled back at her.
“I’d like that,” she said softly, taking hold of her hand and allowing herself to be pulled up. “I think I’d like that a lot.”
“Good…” Liv grinned at her as they started walking back to the restaurant. It was just as she had imagined - the feel of Helen’s hand in hers as stars twinkled above, the moon bathing the coastline in a silvery glow. The blonde looked utterly beautiful, even if there was still a little evidence of tears on her face. “I bet there won’t be any cannolis left for us though. He’ll eat the lot.”
“I don’t care,” Helen replied, lowering her tone. “I had other things in mind for dessert.”
“You… what?!” Liv gasped incredulously, her cheeks burning as she shot a look at her girlfriend, who giggled prettily.
“I said I hadn’t been on a date,” Helen hummed, raising her eyebrows. “I didn’t say that I didn’t know how to kiss you… And I’d quite like to see what’s under that suit.” She trailed her eyes down her body, and it was all that Liv could do to continue steering her back towards the restaurant.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go home?” she asked in a strangled tone, and Helen laughed again, nudging her playfully with her shoulder.
“I’m sure, not yet,” she replied, squeezing her hand more tightly. “First… take me on a date. And afterwards you can show me how you end one.”
“Deal,” Liv agreed instantly, her face splitting into a huge grin. As Helen smiled back at her, something inside her relaxed. This was what she had wanted… Just the two of them, growing the relationship slowly but surely as they moved towards a future together. There was nothing that she wanted more than to spend her life with Helen at her side, and it was understandable that they would both stumble along the way. The important thing would be that they were both there to catch each other… and they always would be, in life, love, and everything else - forever.
<3