Chapter Text
Regina hadn’t planned on her Thursday afternoon going like this.
She had escaped fifth period twenty minutes after the bell, bored out of her mind as her teacher had them read aloud from Romeo and Juliet. She twirled the hallpass in her fingers as she wandered around the building. It was the second week of September and she was still scoping out all the spots of this new playground. The high school was so much bigger than middle school, but it didn’t scare her. Regina walked down the halls with footsteps of authority, light pink heels that were almost too small making a satisfying click as she ditched English.
She was passing the junior level history classes when she spotted the bathroom at the end of the hall. Perfect, a hiding spot. She could reapply her lip gloss before very slowly making her way back to class. Regina pushed open the door, grunting softly at how goddamn heavy it was.
The bathroom was dimly lit, with grimy and unkept tiles. It looked like the perfect place to engage in activities that were definitely against the handbook. But she didn’t have time to focus on the bathroom’s appearance because what she found when she opened the door stopped fourteen year old Regina George in her tracks. The door swung shut behind her with a soft thud.
Regina wasn’t alone anymore. The other girl’s breath hitched and she looked up. Regina watched as a drop of blood rolled off her arm and onto the floor. Her eyes trailed up to her face and suddenly she was looking into the eyes of her ex-best friend.
Janis had changed a lot over the summer. Her soft brown hair was pitch black with box dye now and she had chopped it to her chin. She was wearing a full face of makeup too, with thick eyeliner and clumpy mascara and dark lipstick. Even her clothes were different, her favorite plaid overall dress traded for a pair of black jeans covered in holes and a band tee tied off to the side.
Neither girl said anything, the air thick with tension. Regina’s eyes flicked down to Janis’s hands, where she was gripping a razor blade that looked like it had been pried from a pencil sharpener so hard that her fingernails were white under her chipped black nail polish. There were three brand new cuts on her forearm as a result of the blade and the blood ran slowly down her skin and into the sink she stood over.
Regina wasn’t exactly sure what came over her, but she was walking over to Janis after a minute of staring. She stopped in front of her and looked from her face to her arm. The hallpass in her hands found a place on the edge of a nearby sink. Janis watched her every moment with a cold, hardened stare. But beyond that icy gaze was a distinct dullness too, a tiredness to her that she didn’t use to have. She hadn’t made any further movements with the blade and Regina watched as more and more blood pooled on her skin.
Her perfectly manicured nails plucked the sharp from Janis’s fingers easily, the girl showing no resistance. Regina chucked it into the trashcan behind her, grimacing. When she looked back at Janis, her face showed no emotion, but her eyes were guarded, confused, and hurt. She watched silently as Regina pulled two paper towels out of the thankfully stocked dispenser and folded them meticulously over themselves.
She reached for Janis’s cut arm, surprising herself with her gentleness as she took her hand. Regina used her other hand to press the paper towels against the inside of her forearm, applying a medium pressure to the wounds. As the tissue soaked up the crimson blood, Regina didn’t look up at Janis’s face. Instead, she studied her arms, which were lined with a multitude of other scars in various stages of healing. There were at least a dozen on each side.
Janis’s hand was warm and soft. It reminded Regina of January, when they went to see that musical with her mom in the city and it was so snowy and cold they held hands in the street. She remembered how pink her nose got because she wasn’t allowed to wear makeup when she stayed with her dad. That night in the hotel room, Regina had taught her how to apply mascara and lipstick properly. They had laughed all night, faces inches apart as they shared the hotel bed. Regina tried to shake the memory away as she felt her heartbeat getting just a little faster. Why was she doing this? Why was she taking care of her? Regina grinded her teeth and pressed a little harder on the paper towel until she heard Janis suck a breath in. There was a pang in her chest and she softly let up on the pressure a little bit.
It took about two full minutes before Regina observed no more blood soaking into the towel. She pulled it away and didn’t know why she felt pleased when there was no more blood dripping from the cuts. She tossed the soaked paper towel into the sink, face expressionless.
As soon as she let go, Janis dropped her arms to her side and took a half step backwards. Regina turned to the mirror, pulling her lip gloss out of her skirt pocket. She twisted off the cap, acutely aware of Janis watching her. She made her every movement calculated. She couldn’t be anything less than perfect in front of Janis. She couldn't be less than perfect in front of anyone, but especially not her. Not after everything. She slowly and meticulously reapplied the sticky pink gloss, sighing softly. Words didn’t follow even though a thousand thoughts were on the tip of her tongue. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Janis pulling the sleeves of her flannel down.
She rubbed her lips together and parted them again with a soft pop . Regina closed the tube and went to put it back into her pocket. Despite how careful she was being, she still startled when Janis spoke:
“You did this.”
It was three words, but it made Regina lock her knees in place. She stilled her ever so slightly trembling hand as she finally put her lip gloss away. Instead of answering, Regina picked the hallpass up off the counter. She turned and walked out of the bathroom without looking back at Janis, the sound of her heels on the tile a deafening response.
The heavy wooden door settled into place with Regina on the other side. The walls were back up between her and Janis, just the way she needed it. She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes to still her swirling thoughts. Doing this, Regina quickly discovered that it was a bad idea and if she kept her eyes open, she wouldn’t have to see the image of Janis’s scarred arms or betrayed gaze.
That would have to be good enough for now.