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Tony is waiting on the couch when Pepper gets home. He’d been tempted to have a drink for this conversation, but he’d decided that he wanted the clearest possible head. And also that it might send the wrong message to Pep. So instead of fussing with a glass, he’s fussing with his phone.
“Tony,” Pepper says warmly when she steps off the elevator. Tony sets aside his phone and straightens up a bit, looking up at her as she crosses the room. “Were you waiting for me? I’m sorry, if I’d known I wouldn’t have stayed as late.”
It’s not terribly late, but Tony had still spent the last two hours torn between calling her so that he could get this over with and not wanting this to happen any sooner. To be honest, he’d still been debating when FRIDAY told him Pepper was en route. “I was waiting,” he says, because it’s obvious. “But it’s fine. I could’ve called.”
Pepper slowly sinks down onto the couch. She starts to speak, then stops. Finally, she sighs, tucking a lock of hair behind one ear. “I get the feeling we’re not here to talk about starting wedding planning again.”
Tony huffs humorlessly. “No, we’re not.” He runs his fingers over the bracelet housing Soul. The stone is quiet. Tony hadn’t actually asked for that, but it’s Soul. They know. Taking a deep breath, Tony looks up and meets Pepper’s gentle gaze. “You’re one of the most important people in my life, and I hope that will always be true, but I don’t want to marry you, Pep. I don’t want us to be in a relationship anymore.”
Pepper nods sharply and drops her gaze, blinking rapidly. Her fingers twist together for a moment before she deliberately smooths them out over her knees. “Why?”
“You’ve been putting up with me for a long time,” Tony says. “You put up with me screwing around, you put up with my recovery—”
“Tony—”
He holds up a hand. “Let me finish, please.” Pepper bites her lip briefly, but nods. Tony takes a break and goes on. “You put up with Iron Man and all the fights and me flying off into space more than once. And I was grateful for that for a long time. Really. But a relationship shouldn’t be about putting up with each other.”
Pepper can’t resist breaking in. “If you’re doing this for me—”
Tony shakes his head sharply. “I’m not,” he says firmly. “I’m doing it because while a lot of that stuff is past, Iron Man isn’t. I expect the battles aren’t. And I don’t want a partner who looks at that part of me and my life and sees it as a negative they have to cope with. I want someone who’s going to be a part of that life, whether that’s literally or figuratively.” Tony reaches up and touches the nanobot housing that he’s wearing. “I want someone who isn’t waiting for me to take this off.”
“Tony,” Pepper says carefully, “you’re not going to be Iron Man forever. You’re 48 years old. No matter how good the suit is, someday you’ll be too old to wear it.”
No, I won’t, Tony thinks. Soul told him right at the start that immortality was part of the deal. But he hasn’t told anyone about Soul. Stephen is the only one who knows. Just thinking about telling Pepper feels wrong.
“Even if I put the suit aside,” he says aloud, because with multiple lifetimes on the table, that might well happen one day, “I’ll still be Iron Man. Iron Man isn’t the suit, Pep. It’s answering the call when the shit hits the fan. I’m always going to answer, even if it’s for,” Tony smiles, “tech support.”
Pepper laughs and brushes away a couple of tears. “I should have known,” she says. “When you ran off into space the last time. I should have known then.”
“To be fair, I didn’t know, either,” Tony offers. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I got back. About the reality of my life, instead of the fantasy. About what I want my life to look like, now and later.”
“And I’m not in it,” Pepper says. She sounds sad, but not disappointed. It’s a bit of a relief.
Tony shakes his head. “You’re in it. As a friend.”
“Well.” Pepper stands and wipes her cheeks dry of tears again. Going to the bar, she pours a couple of drinks. Returning to Tony, she hands him a glass and then extends her for a toast. “To friends.”
“To friends,” Tony echoes.
They clink glasses.