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Hypoxia, he’s heard of it but never experienced it before.
Iceman inhales slowly trying to make the most of the oxygen coming through his flight mask, trying to dispel the dark spots floating around and encroaching at the edges of his vision. “Ten more seconds, then I’ve got him.” He promises trying his best to focus around his deteriorating vision.
He hears Maverick and goose yelling at him across the com’s but he’s too busy focusing on keeping his jet steady to truly hear what they’re saying. “Five more seconds he promises, trying to put the blurry shot into perspective.
“I’m off.” He says as much to himself as to everyone else as he fails to line up the shot through his distorting vision. “Shit!” He swears relenting and moving out of the way, letting Maverick have the shot.
The next thing he hears is Maverick yelling across the radio, a hint of panic in his voice. “We’re in his jet wash!”
Ice sucks in a deep breath as Maverick and Goose yell frantically across the radio trying to regain control of the jet.
The engines of Maverick’s jet fail and his heart fails with them.
“Mayday, Mayday. Mav’s in trouble.” He calls across the radio, he knows at the point they’re going to need rescue and reinforcements. “He’s in a flat spin heading out to sea.”
“I’m pinned forward, Goose. I can’t reach the ejection handle.” Ice hears Maverick’s voice comes panicked and desperate across the radio, it’s the first time he has ever heard panic in Maverick’s voice and it shakes him.
“I’m gonna use my jet wash to spin you around again, you should be able to reach the ejection handle once you’re upside down.” Ice hears himself saying before he’s even registered the plan.
“Are you insane?” Slider asks as he yanks on the steering stick directing their jet toward Maverick’s. “You could kill us all! You’ve been spending too much time around Maverick!”
He doesn’t listen veering dangerously close to the other jet in order to send it spinning.
“I’ve got it!” Mavericks voice comes across the com’s line as they speed past them flipping them over nanoseconds before the cockpit flies off the jet.
Mav and Goose eject from the aircraft in what feels like slow motion, their chairs free falling upside down hurtling toward the cockpit dome almost as faster than it’s falling.
Then the parachutes deploy catching the air, putting them right side up again and slowing them down enough to survive the severe drop into the ocean.
Ice catches himself grinning as he grips the steering stick so hard his knuckles turn white. “You guys good?” He asks as they touch down in the water green dye lighting the way for their rescue.
“Yeah.” Goose and maverick reply simultaneously across the line.
“Alright.” Ice finds himself nodding even though neither of them can see it. “We’re heading back to base, cost guard should be here any minute.”
Landing is harder than it should be, a bout of dizziness flooding his head as he tries to line up with the runway, the tarmac blurring in his vision as he lines them up and brings them down.
He clambers out of the cockpit panic filling his mind as his breathing continues to remain strained.
“What the hell Ice!?” Slider asks trying to keep pace with him as he makes his way down the tarmac barely able to hear him over his own racing thoughts. “You came so close you could’ve gotten us all killed!“
“I know what I’m doing Slider!” He snaps, stopping mid stride and whirling to face him, his tone as cold as his callsign. “I’m not Maverick, so why don’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”
“Okay, Ice, okay.” Slider nods putting up his hands in mock surrender as he walks off and leaving him completely alone in the middle of the empty runway.
Ice holds his breath until Slider is well out of earshot hoping to restart his breathing pattern, hypoxia is nothing to joke around with, but the medbay is far from his favorite place and he prefers to avoid it if he can.
The exhale comes out ragged, quickly turning into a rough cough.
Something flies out of his mouth, landing on his tongue and sticking wetly to the backside of his teeth.
He spits the foreign substance out into his cupped hands, silently hoping it’s not clotted blood.
Two golden orange sunflower petals sit damply in the palms of his hands.
“What…. In the……?” Ice wonders staring down at the petals, he hasn’t so much as been near a sunflower in longer than he can remember, so how could he possibly be coughing them up?
———
Ice spots Maverick and Goose across the bar looking a little bruised up but no worse for wear, and lets out a soft sigh of relief.
He closes his eyes for a brief second, squaring his shoulders and steeling himself before walking across the neon lit bar towards Maverick and Goose.
“Maverick, we need to talk.” Ice says sidling up next to him at the bar.
“Save it Ice!” Maverick snaps. “I’m in no mood for one of your lectures!”
“I actually came over here to apologize.” Ice says flatly.
“Oh…..” Maverick says, backing up out of Ice’s face, his green eyes widening and softening slightly. “Sorry.”
“If I had backed off and let you have the shot you might not have gotten caught in my jet wash. We both have our fair share of the blame on this one but since you and Mother Goose are the ones who ended up falling out of the sky I figured I should be the one to apologize.”
Maverick grimaces slightly and glances over at where Goose had wondered off to talk to Hollywood. “I should have known better, it was foolish of me to be that close to you, something terrible could have happened, it almost did…….. Goose’s head hit the canopy when we ejected, the helmet and the fact that we were upside down protected him but the doctor said that if his head had hit it even a fraction of a degree further to the left there’s a good chance it would have broken his neck……..”
Ice feels a tickle in his throat and takes a sip of his drink, avoiding Maverick’s eyes. “You are dangerous Maverick, but what happened today…… that was an accident, nothing more, you can’t blame yourself for something that might have happened.”
“Thanks Ice.” Maverick says softly his entire demeanor visibly relaxing.
Ice nods feeling the tickle growing into a slight burning sensation, he clears his throat and gives Maverick a small smile.
“Hey Ice?” Maverick says a note of reluctance in his voice. “For what it’s worth, it wasn’t your fault either, and if I’d have backed off of you a little, you probably could have made that shot.“
Ice opens his mouth to say something but ends up choking on the words, covering his mouth with his hands, and coughing harshly into his palms.
He pulls his hands away from his mouth to find more of the same yellow petals he had coughed up earlier, he quickly lets his hands drop naturally back to his sides, the petals fluttering to the floor, unnoticed in the dim light of the bar.
“You okay Kazansky?” Maverick asks raising an eyebrow at him, back to his usual self.
“Yeah.” Ice nods waving off his concerns. “Just a tickle in my throat.”
What the hell is happening to him?
———
Ice twirls his pen between his fingers, focusing on how it clacks against his class ring on every third pass and doing his best to tune out whatever Maverick is going on about to Goose and focus on the teacher at the front of the class.
He’s failing, miserably.
His eyes keep wandering away from the whiteboard in front of him and snagging on Maverick instead, his brain only really catching on every few words that are being said.
Fucking annoying if you asked him.
The thing is he really doesn’t care about whatever Maverick and Goose are mumbling about, he really doesn’t.
Maverick is a hotheaded, an impulsive pilot who is a danger to himself and others, but he’s also………
No.
He cuts off that thought before it can even begin, Maverick is dangerous and impulsive, end of story.
He feels a tickle starting to make its way up and into his throat, itchy and stifling like someone has taken cotton wool and stuffed his throat with it.
He coughs into his hollow fist and is only slightly surprised when a few damp yellow sunflower petals make their way into his hand.
Once is a fluke, twice a coincidence, but three times? That’s a problem.
Slider gives him a concerned look from his seat beside him but Ice just smiles at him and casually slips the petals into his pocket letting his gaze drift back to the front of the class only to find Maverick glancing over his shoulder at him.
Ice gives him his most self assured smile and focuses on the front of the classroom only to have the entire class interrupted a few moments later by Viper walking to the front of the class, calling for everyone’s attention and dismissing their instructor.
“Gentlemen!” He announces making sure everyone’s attention is fully on him before continuing. “I hate to break up the class but we unfortunately have a crisis situation on our hands and some of you will need to dispatch immediately to deal with it.” The room shuffles around exchanging glances as Viper continues. “Ice, Slider, Maverick and Goose. I know some of you have just been cleared to fly but we need our best on this so you all need to go home and grab your things, your plane leaves in an hour.”
———
“Mav, what the hell are you doing?!” Goose asks voice full of concern from the backseat.
“Ice is in trouble, he’s got MiG’s on his ass and he won’t last down there alone now hold on to your helmet Goose!” Maverick says as he spins around trying to get a lock on one of the MiG’s.
“Talk to me Goose!” Maverick hollers over his shoulder as he flys over top of the MiG’s and circles around behind them.
“Ice is right below us and he’s still got a MiG on his tail.” Goose informs him as the MiG lines up with Ice and turns his guns on them.
“He’s firing! Break left! Break left!” Slider’s panicked voice filters through the com’s as Ice menurvers the jet barely avoiding the MiG’s fire.
“Damn it! Alright Goose we’re going in.” Maverick says as he dives down towards Ice and Slider in an attempt to get their perusing MiG in a target lock.
Maverick maneuvers the jet enough to be able to get a decent tone on one of the MiG’s trying to shoot Ice down. “Dead ahead, target lock, I’ve got tone, and firing.” Maverick says across the radio as the missiles make contact taking one of the wings off of the enemy MiG’s and knocking it out of the air.
“Maverick, check the guys to the north!” Slider yells over the radio just in time for them to bank left and avoid the oncoming MiG’s.
“There he is!” Maverick says eyes trailing the enemy jet, more accurately than any target lock. “Get him Ice. Get him!”
“Okay Mav, I’m coming in.” Ice says as he dives down after the MiG.
“Mav! We’ve got a MiG coming around on our ass and he doesn’t look too happy!” Goose hollers at him. “We gotta get out of here!”
“We can’t leave Ice Goose, if we do, they’re toast.”
“He’s coming around behind us Mav!” Goose says nervously, keeping an eye on the MiG as it gets closer.
“I’m not leaving my wingman Goose.” Maverick says making no move to leave.
“I gathered as much, but you need to do some of that pilot shit or we are gonna be toast too!”
“Alright, talk to me Goose.” Maverick says trying his best to lose the MiG.
“He’s on our tail, closing in fast.” Goose says keeping a steady eye on the MiG behind them.
“I’m on his tail, and I’m going for the shot.” Ice says as he maneuvers in behind the MiG on their tail and lines up for a shot. “Engaged and I’ve got radar lock. Good tone, I’m talking the shot!” Ice launches the missile, taking out the MiG.
“Ice, watch out. There’s a MiG to your right!” Maverick warns but it’s a second too late.
“I’m hit! I’m hit!” Ice says over the radio, as the bullets pierce the hull on the jet’s starboard side.
“They took out the right engine!” Maverick hears Slider say over the radio.
“I’m shutting it down!” Ice says keeping his cool as always.
“We’re coming in!” Maverick informs as he chases down the MiG that shot out Ice’s right engine. “That bogey is right behind you Ice, watch yourself, I’m maneuvering for a shot.”
Ice’s voice sounds through the headset. “Stay with him Mav! Take the shot and nail his ass!”
“Shit I can’t get a tone on him, talk to me Goose.”
“He’s still behind them, closing in on Ice and Slider fast, you’ve really gotta do something here Mav.” Goose says as Maverick tries again to get a radar lock on the MiG.
“Just shoot him Maverick, I can’t get him off my tail!” Ice says trying his best to outmaneuver the MiG as it shoots at them. “We’re hit! We’re hit again!”
“Both engines are functioning. We’re okay.” Slider’s voice reassures over the radio before the panic can really set in.
“Ice, on the count of three I’m gonna need you to break hard right.” Maverick says lining up the MiG in his sights. “Three, two, one. Break Right!”
“I’ve got him!” Maverick says firing the missiles and blowing the MiG out of the air.
“Maverick, move! There’s a MiG on your tail!” Ice warns frantically over the radio.
“We’ve got a problem guys!” Maverick says glancing over his shoulder at the fast approaching MiG. “We’re down to one missile!”
“He’s still back there Mav! He’s right between our tails!” Goose warns a split second before the MiG starts firing. “He's still back there. What are you doing Mav!?” Goose says as Maverick starts slowing down.
“I’m gonna bring him in nice and close, Goose. Then we’re gonna hit the brakes and he’ll fly right by.”
“Just like Jester?” Goose asks looking back at the rapidly approaching MiG.
“Just like Jester.” Maverick agrees as they fly behind the MiG and establishes a radar lock. “I’ve got a good lock. Firing!” Maverick says as he launches the missile, taking out the MiG.
“Mustang, this is Voodoo three. Remaining MiG’s are bugging out.” Goose says, and Maverick can feel Goose smiling at him even though he can’t see it.
———
Ice climbs down from the jet into the amassing crowd, the congratulations and cheers falling on deaf ears as he pushes his way toward Maverick’s jet scanning the faces in search of Maverick.
He stills as his eyes latch on to Maverick he let’s himself stop, the crowd forming an open pocket between them, he watches Maverick as he laughs and whoops happily.
“You!” Ice shouts over the clamoring noise of the crowd around them pointing directly at Maverick.
Maverick stills turning to face him. His smile falters and drops slightly, making the burning sensation that had been in his chest the entire time he had been in the air slowly start to creep up into the back of his throat as Maverick removes his glasses.
“You are still dangerous.” He says as he watches the expression on Maverick’s face seeing the soft mix of sadness and confusion creeping over his features at his words.
Ice smiles widely at him letting it fill his face until it reached his eyes. “But you can be my wingman anytime.”
A smile lights up Mavericks face pulling one side of his mouth up further than the other and putting his teeth on full display. “Bullshit, *you can be mine*.” Maverick says resting his hand on Ice’s shoulder.
Something about those words hits him square in the chest making it hard to breathe and filling every empty corner of his mind as Maverick pulls him into a quick hug.
Maverick pulls away and Slider pulls him back hoisting him upwards and shaking him happily.
Ice watches Maverick, his smile still firmly in place the burning creeping up his throat at an alarming rate.
The cough doesn’t even surprise him as he turns his head stifling it with the collar of his flight suit, letting the petals fall unnoticed into the space between his shirt and the heavy green fabric.
———
Ice had forgotten about the petals pressed between his chest and flight suit until it was too late, the yellow petals fluttering to the floor right in front of Slider and earning him a strange look.
Slider leans down picking one of the yellow petals off of the locker room floor. “What are these?”
“Petals.” Ice says, grateful that the locker room is empty except for the two of them.
“Yeah…… I can see that. Did you hug a sunflower or something?” Slider asks turning the crushed piece of yellow flower over in his hand.
Ice lets his shoulders slump slightly as he confides in Slider. “I coughed them up.”
Slider stares at him for a second and Ice can see him trying to process what Ice had just said. “How?”
Ice just shakes his head solemnly. “I don’t know.”
“Has it happened before?” Slider asks glancing at the half a dozen other crumpled up yellow petals littering the floor.
“A few times.” Ice admits running his fingers through his hair, still messy from his flight helmet.
“Huh…..” Slider rubs his hand over his jaw. “Do you know why?”
“No, I mean I haven’t even seen a sunflower in longer than I can remember.” Ice admits.
Slider nods. “And you don’t want to ask a nurse because you don’t want to be taken out of Top Gun.”
Ice nods. “But it’s looking a lot like I am not going to have a choice.”
“Don’t give up just yet, I’ll help you look into it.” Slider claps him on the shoulder. “Come on, the library doesn’t close for a few more hours.”
———
“Flowers in landscaping, other uses, garden flowers……..” Slider whispers as he flips through everything flower related the encyclopedia he’s holding has to offer. “Flowers of summer dry regions, flowers of the desert, Representative families of flowers…….. ah here we go, flower sickness and coughing up flowers.”
Ice perks up meeting Slider’s gaze across the table for a brief second before he continues reading.
“It says it’s something called hanahaki disease……..” Slider mumbles with a shrug nodding at Ice to grab the encyclopedia labeled H from the stack they had brought with them to the quiet table in the corner of the library.
Ice grabs the book flipping through the pages at a faster rate than Slider had until his eyes latch onto the word the flurry of turning pages coming to a stop, Ice scans the passage his face growing paler the further along he reads.
“What is it?” Slider asks as Ice grips the edges of the book so hard that his knuckles turn white and Slider thinks he must be denting the cover, his face grim.
Ice shakes his head rereading the passage two more times before
Slider yanks the book from Ice’s hands to get a look at it.
“What the fuck?!” Slider asks his eyes flying up to meet Ice’s
“Shhh!!” The librarian hisses from the front desk.
Slider flips her off but lowers his voice anyway. “Ice this says………”
“I know.” Ice cuts him off.
“It says that you’re in love Ice.” Slider finishes his sentence letting the open book fall a few inches to the wooden table top with a dull thunk.
Ice doesn’t answer, avoiding Slider’s gaze all together.
“What’s her name?” Slider asks with a playful smile.
“His.” Ice corrects his shoulders slumping slightly.
“Who is he?” Slider amends, his playful smile masking his worry.
“I don’t know.” Ice whispers.
“You got any ideas who on it might be?” Slider asks his voice gentle, yelling at Ice right now won’t help.
Ice brings his finger to his lips and begins nibbling at the skin along the edges. “No.”
Slider sighs reaching across the table and pulling Ice’s hand away from his mouth before he does enough damage to make it bleed and places a pen into his restless hands. “Alright let’s focus on what we do know, however bleak it may be.”
Ice nods and Slider turns his attention back to the glossy pages of the encyclopedia on the table in front of him. “Hanahaki is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from unrequited love, the flowers feed of the victims unrequited love and heartache growing stronger until It ends when the beloved returns their feelings or………..”
Slider trails off glancing up and Ice who is twirling the pen with a vengeance, putting so much force on it’s thin metal casing Slider is surprised in doesn’t snap. “Or when the petals in my lungs grow so dense that I can no longer breathe and I literally suffocate to death from my feelings.”
“Yeah……..” Slider trails off his face dead serious, a flicker of fear in his eyes completely uncharacteristic of his usual cocky demeanor.
Ice reaches across the table shutting the book so fast he nearly closes Slider’s fingers up in between its heavy pages. “I’ll figure it out Sli.”
Slider sighs nodding his head, Ice had clammed up and he knew from experience there was nothing he could say or do to get him to open up until he was good and ready. “Hey, uh the guys said something about a volleyball game…………?”
“Sounds good.” Ice stands up gathering the encyclopedia’s that were scattered across the table into his arms.
Slider nods. “You want me to go ask the librarian if they have any books on it?” Slider asks softly.
Ice just nods not looking at him as he walks away to put the books back on the shelf.
———
Ice sucks in a breath as Maverick pulls off his shirt tossing it onto the bleachers and hops around toeing off his cowboy boots.
He looks away and shaking his head as he pulls off his own shirt, and tosses it down next to Maverick’s discarded bomber jacket, he wonders how the hell he can even wear that thing in this heat.
He starts winding the tape around his wrist only to have a pair of warm hands stop him.
He glances up to see Maverick’s bright green eyes watching him. “Here, let me help, it’s easier with two hands.”
“Thanks.” He says trying to ignore the tension in his chest.
Maverick nods and makes quick work of the wrappings, giving Ice’s wrist a slight squeeze as he finishes tucking in the tape. “There you go.” He says giving him a grin wide enough that his gums peak out at the edges.
Ice gives him a small smile trying to ignore the way his face is heating up, he pushes it to the side chalking it up to the California sun beating down on him, as he glances at Maverick’s wrists only to find them already wrapped with tape.
Maverick shrugs as Ice meets his gaze, his smile turning slightly lopsided.
Ice huffs slightly, shaking his head confused by the tug of disappointment he had felt in his chest at being unable to do something as simple as help Mav wrap his wrists, as he jogs over to join Slider.
Slider smiles at him, and it’s soft at the edges in an all too knowing way that makes Ice sick to his stomach as he tosses him the ball.
Ice puts on his aviators and ignores it the best he can, spinning the ball on his finger for a second before tossing it into the air and serving it across the net.
Maverick hits it back sending the game into full swing.
The game goes steady until Ice hits the ball over the net hard enough that Maverick misses it sending him face first into the sand.
Slider lets out a whooping howl as Maverick picks himself up off the sand.
Maverick pushes his aviator glasses back up onto his face and levels Ice with a glare. “*You’re mine*, Iceman.”
Ice’s eyes widen behind the dark shields of his glasses and he feels something wet stick in his throat as his chest constricts and his throat begins to sting.
He turns his back to Maverick and Goose doing his best to hide the coughs starting rack his body.
Slider puts his arm around Ice’s shoulder pulling him close and holding him up as he coughs, helping him hide his shaking shoulders and wheezing breaths from the rest of the group.
“You good Ice?” Slider leans in close, whispering for only him to hear.
Ice nods his mind racing as he spits a handful of thick yellow petals into his palms.
Ice lets the petals fall out of his fingers and onto the ground, feeling a twinge of guilt as he kicks sand overtop of them to keep them from being noticed.
“Do you need a break?” Slider whispers glancing over his shoulder, giving Mav and Goose a cocky leer to keep their cover intact.
“No, I’m good.” Ice says catching his breath, grateful for the breathing techniques he’s learned as a fighter pilot.
“Okay.” Slider nods easing his hold on Ice’s shoulders and letting him stand on his own.
They play until the score is tied and the sun is starting to sink low into the ocean.
“Mav where are you going?” Slider taunts, as he turns back to serve the ball, only to find Maverick walking away from the net. “You walking away?“
Mav grins over his shoulder, before pulling his shirt back over his head. “I don’t know about the rest of you but I need food.”
Slider shares a quick look with Ice, before nodding. “Alright, you chicken, let’s go get some food.”
———
Ice bends over the sink coughing hard enough that his vision blurs from the jarring force, a few yellow petals falling from his lips and landing in the sink.
Ice grips the sides of the sink as he catches his breath, despite the seemingly endless coughing he is only met with a small collection of petals as he stares down into the bowl of the sink.
Yellow, ice thinks to himself as he gathers up the cheery looking sunflower petals, is a deceptively happy color.
Ice pockets the handful of petals as he eyes himself in the wide mirror of the bar’s bathroom. His cheeks are tinged pink from being out in the sun a bit too long and the liquor he’s been drinking.
He’s silently grateful that no one has walked in on him coughing up the flower arrangement that is growing in his lungs.
Ice takes in a few deep breaths testing his lungs for any petals that might want to free themselves before heading back out into the bar.
Ice spots Slider over by the pool tables, Goose standing by his side chatting away, and makes his way through the crowd towards them.
As Ice clears the crowd, he sees Maverick leaned over the pool table, lining up his pool cue, half laying on the table to get the perfect shot.
Ice lets his eyes trail down the slope of his back and feels his neck growing slightly warm at the way Maverick is leaning over, making the fabric of his dress whites stretch tantalizingly across the curve of his ass and hug his muscular thighs.
Ice opens his mouth to say something about the way Maverick has to position himself for the shot only to feel the sharp feeling of petals creeping up the back of his throat silencing him.
Maverick takes the shot, sending the eight ball spinning into the corner pocket. “Damnit!” Maverick swears letting his pool cue clatter to the table as he stands up, running a hand through his hair.
“Crash and burn Mav, crash and burn.” Slider laughs grabbing the cash they had both bet off of the corner of the table.
Maverick glares at him for a few seconds before turning to Goose for support only to get a sympathetic shrug.
Maverick catches on to Ice’s presence out of the corner of his eye, and his pout quickly turns to a mischievous, little smile his eyes sparkling wildly.
Ice feels himself shudder under Maverick’s gaze, that look is trouble.
“Come on Ice, I’ll buy you a drink.”
Ice feels more confused than ever as he follows Maverick to the bar.
Maverick hops up onto a bar stool and orders them two absinthe’s before turning to Ice with a wide smile. “You know after the dogfight they gave us our choice of postings once we graduate.”
Ice nods sitting down on a stool beside Maverick. “Yeah, got any place in mind?”
Maverick nods smiling at the bartender as they get their drinks. “Mm, Goose and I talked it over and we’re gonna ask for jobs as instructors here at top gun.”
Ice raises his eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Maverick nods turning that glorious smile back on him for a moment before taking a sip of his drink. “Goose likes the idea of the stability so he can be in Carole and Bradly’s lives more, and I got to admit after the accident I find the idea pretty appealing myself.”
“Stability and safety without having to give up your wings.” Ice says understanding the compromise Maverick is angling for.
“Exactly, plus Goose doesn’t see his family enough and Bradley is getting older it would be nice for him to be able to be around more.” Maverick says his green eyes twinkling with the idea. “What about you any plans?”
“Probably the same honestly. Plus…..” He smirks taking a sip of his drink. “it’ll be nice seeing my name on that plaque every day……..”
Maverick’s bright green eyes light up practically glowing with the challenge as he grins wildly enough that his gums peek out from under his edges of his lips. “In your dreams Iceman, that plaque’s mine!”
Ice laughs softly, watching Maverick come alive like he does when Ice pushes him. “We’ll see……”
“Oh come on Kazansky, you know I’m the better pilot!” Maverick insists still watching him with those bright green eyes.
Ice opens his mouth to continue their little game of banter only to have the petals force themselves violently out of his lungs surging into his throat and making him cough uncontrollably.
He bends over coughing into his hands, trying not to fall off the bar stool into the floor.
The tang of iron fills his mouth as the Petals work their way out of his lungs landing in his palms.
Maverick sucks in a deep breath as he sees some of the rouge Sunflower petals escape Ice’s hands and flutter to the floor.
“My mother had the disease….” Maverick says quietly, rubbing gentle circles into Ice’s back, his voice full of a deep seated sadness. “She got it after my father died, she got really bad at the end, died a shortly after him.”
Ice spits the last of the petals into his hands sitting up and looking at Maverick.
“Who is it?” Maverick asks watching Ice with his sad gaze. “Who’s doing this to you?”
It clicks in Ice’s brain then and there with Maverick staring at him like that he finally understands why he’s coughing up petals only when Maverick’s around, why the words from the aircraft carrier had been reverberating around his mind since maverick said them, taking up so much of his thoughts. He wanted maverick to say those words to him in a different context, he wanted to be Maverick’s.
He’s coughing up petals for Maverick.
“They don’t feel the same……..” Ice says shaking his head suddenly unable to meet Maverick’s painfully gentle gaze.
“Are you sure?” Maverick asks biting his lip looking worried, his knee bouncing anxiously. “Have you told them? Have you asked?”
Ice shakes his head slightly.
“Ice, this isn’t something to play around with, it will kill you. You need to tell her.” Maverick says softly his eyes not leaving Ice. “You need to tell her.”
“Him.” Ice correct’s his voice barely audible over the noise of the crowded bar.
“Is that why you think he doesn’t feel the same………..?” Maverick asks after a few seconds.
Ice nods slowly feeling like all the air has been knocked out of him.
Maverick lets out a slow shaky breath. “So you’d rather go to your grave not knowing to spare them?”
Ice feels a muscle jump in his jaw. “You……” he whispers out before he can talk himself out of it.
“What?” Maverick asks a crease forming between his eyebrows, confusion clouding his green eyes.
“The flowers are for you.” Ice says his voice trembling slightly unable to make himself look Maverick in the eyes.
Maverick opens his mouth and quickly closes it his green eyes clouding over with emotion, turning them a strange shade of blue, he shakes his head swallowing thickly.
Ice can’t wait for the painful rejection, won’t stay around for whatever mixture of anger and sympathy comes out of Mavericks mouth he pushes through the crowd fleeing the bar.
Ice makes it to the parking lot before the flowers force their way out of his lungs again. He feels like a fool as he stands there bent over hacking up blood stained petals.
The taste of iron fills his mouth as he coughs so hard he can feel the last dregs of air leaving his lungs alongside the crumpled yellow petals.
He forces himself to take deep breaths as the coughing stops, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.
He runs the back of his hand across his mouth his stomach sinking as it comes away smeared a deep crimson.
He always knew Maverick was going to get him killed, he just didn’t think it was going to be like this.
———
It’s been a week since Ice fled the bar to avoid Maverick and the showers are always the hardest part of every day, because try as he might it’s the one place he can’t seem to avoid Maverick.
Ice takes deep breaths of the steamy air letting the hot vapor soothe his lungs and loosen some of the tension and congestion that has built up in his lungs over the day as the flowers press against the walls of his chest in an attempt to escape.
Ice feels his chest seize as his body gets ready to expel some of the loosened flowers from his lungs.
He coughs violently, his diaphragm heaving as petals tear their way out of his chest, tremors racking his body.
The spray of the shower rains down on his back as he braces himself against the tile spitting pieces of flower onto the shower floor blood dripping from his lips.
The water from the shower sweeps the petals away the blood coating them tinting the water red as they circle the drain and disappear from sight.
Ice slumps against the shower wall letting the warm water run over his skin for a few minutes the steam soothing his tattered lungs and throat.
He lets out a shaky sigh pulling himself together and turning off the shower as he wraps a towel around his waist.
Ice pushes the shower curtain to the side and walks into the steam filled main room of the showers.
“All yours mother Goose, you can stop threatening to throw, Wolf out on his ass.” Ice glances over towards Goose as he talks only to catch an eye full of Mavericks ass as he props one leg up on the bench while examining the bulletin board.
Ice glances away again propping himself against a support beam as he once again struggles to breathe.
He inhales deeply filling his chest with air as he pushes his wet hair out of his eyes, the last thing he needs right now is to cough up flowers all over the floor in front of everyone.
Maverick pulls his attention away from the humidity soaked papers fixing his gaze on Ice as he speaks and Ice feels the flowers catching in his throat again.
He takes another deep breath clearing his airways and forcing the blood and petals rising in his lungs to stay put.
“Ice…….” Maverick says his voice full of pity and Ice can’t make himself stay to hear the rest of Maverick’s thinly hidden pity and veiled mentions of his illness.
He grimaces pushing himself off the pole extracting himself from Maverick’s increasing pity.
———
“Hey Slider?”
“Sup runt?” Slider asks staring dramatically down at Maverick.
“Have you noticed something off with Ice lately…………..” Maverick asks ignoring the gibe and looking a little nervous. “Do you know what’s going on with him?”
“Yeah, I do, what about it?” Slider asks leveling Maverick with a defensive glare.
A little tension leaves Maverick’s shoulders. “So you know he’s got hanahaki?”
Sliders eyebrows jump up so high Maverick thinks they might touch his hairline. “How do you know that?”
Maverick lets out a little sigh a pained look on his face. “Cause he’s a confess and run kinda guy………”
Slider’s jaw clenches causing a muscle in his cheek to jump. “You?”
Maverick nods. “And he’s been avoiding me ever since. The only time I see him is in the showers and I can’t exactly corner him and talk in front of everyone………….”
“So you need my help?” Slider asks nodding along.
“It’s either that or I literally chase him down and launch all five foot seven of my ass at him and tackle him to the ground and make him listen………” Maverick admits.
Slider laughs at the mental image.
“Don’t laugh, he’s a hard guy to pin down, which I am this close,”Maverick holds his fingers so closely they almost look like they’re touching. “To actually doing that and literally pining him down.”
“So you like him back?” Slider asks crossing his arms ever the protective best friend.
“Ever since the moment I first laid eyes on him.” Maverick admits his green eyes full of sincerity.
Slider nods slowly his eyes distant as plans start to form behind his eyes. “I think I might have an idea……..”
“Please?” Maverick whispers almost painfully hopeful. “I wasn’t kidding about what I said earlier……… I will do it if I have to. My mom died of this disease………. I can’t lose him to it too…….”
———
“You need to talk to Mav.”
Ice looks up at Slider in surprise. “W..what?”
“You need to stop avoiding him before he tackles you and makes you talk to him.” Slider says with giving Ice a look that says he is completely and utterly not joking.
“He doesn’t want to talk to me.” Ice says shaking his head.
Slider hands him a folded piece of paper. “He’ll be there in an hour, after that if you don’t show up, whatever he does is on you.”
Ice unfolds the paper reading the messy scrawl that is unmistakably Maverick’s hyperactive writing.
“Stop running Ice.” Slider says watching him with knowing eyes. “Not everyone is like your father.”
———
Ice finds Maverick on the beach, right where he said he’d be, sitting in the sand watching the sun sink into the ocean, illuminating the horizon and painting the sky colors that would make Van Gough jealous.
Ice sits down on the sand next to Maverick watching the waves lapping against the sand. “You got Slider involved.”
Maverick shrugs the movement casting long shadows against the sand. “You were considerably less likely to run from him than me, and I was running out of options.”
Ice nods softly, watching the sunset rather than the man beside him.
“Why did you run Ice?” Maverick asks toeing at the sand with his bare feet.
“Your reaction made it pretty clear how you felt.” Ice says feeling the flowers ticking at his lungs.
“You didn’t stick around long enough for me to process a reaction.” Maverick says scrunching his nose.
Ice leans his chin on his knees avoiding Maverick’s gaze.
“Why me Ice? Of all the guys? Why me?” Maverick asks softly, his voice holds tremble that Ice can’t place. “I’m reckless and dangerous, you’ve said it yourself, I nearly got Goose killed not even a month ago and I can’t even do this right. Why me?”
Ice scoffs shaking his head. “Are you serious trying to talk me out of loving you right now? Is that the whole reason you asked me down here?”
Maverick shrugs not looking at Ice tears dancing in his green eyes the dim light of the setting sun making them sparkle with light and shadow. “I don’t deserve someone like you Ice………. You’re perfect and I’m so fucked up………… why me?“
Ice feels his heart and lungs give a painful twist and coughs into his hands blood and sunflower petals spilling from his lips and sitting bright yellow in his palms as the blood coats his fingers seeping into the cracks of his skin.
Ice picks a bright yellow petal off the sand and holds it up, the light of the setting sun making it glow almost golden.
“It’s beautiful……….” Maverick whispers looking at the petal in Ice’s fingers.
“You can have it if you want, they’re basically yours anyway.” Ice admits letting Maverick take the petal from his hands.
Maverick smiles, soft and sad, holding the petal like it’s precious before slipping in carefully into his pocket.
Ice glances away at the horizon watching the waves, unable to keep looking at the man beside him.
Maverick leans over towards Ice and pulls him into a short and soft kiss that barely lasts a second before Ice pulls away sharply. “What……..?” He whispers, lips parted slightly, eyes wide and full of shock.
“You’re too good for me Ice, and I don’t understand why you would ever want to love me, but I understand perfectly why I love you…….” Maverick says softly but Ice cuts him off with a kiss, soft and warm on his lips. It takes him a few moments to remember how to breathe but then he’s kissing Maverick back feeling the flowers in his lungs making way for oxygen the flowers washed away with love as Maverick takes his breath away.