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On a beautiful April day, four officers from the Continental Army made their way through the lush forests of New Jersey, their horses trotting gracefully. It was a rare day off, no more letters needed to be written, no more battle plans to draw up. Washington's aides gathered closely, sharing laughter that may have been a touch too boisterous, all thanks to the influence of a bottle of wine thoughtfully provided by Lafayette.
“N’ah, bu- ya know what would be nice? Sumzin’ I’ve not had in a loooong while?” Lafayette commented rather drunkenly, accidentally veering his horse off the road a bit.
Alexander hiccupped feeling only slightly less drunk compared to the other three. “What, Gilly?”
Lafayette frowned, “Don’t call me ‘Gilly’, Mon Deui!” He seemed to lose his train of though for a moment, his eyebrows knitting. “I’ve not had honey in a long time.”
Now it was Laurens turn to look a bit baffled. “You’re spoiled….mon ami. We haven’t had honey for...four years!” And he put up four fingers to illustrate his point.
‘America surely has bees, do they not?” Lafayette whined, “They occur naturally as well in these woods, perhaps!” He puffed out his chest. “I know how to get it too! When I was a child in my hometown, I was able to bring home a whole honeycomb for my maman!”
“My friend, you’re stories range from the fantastical to the ridiculous. “ Hercules muttered, his horse accidentally steering into Lafayette’s before whinnying and returning to the road.
“I bet you a shilling that I can find some honey and bring it back to camp with us! Lafayette announced.
“That’s not even worth betting on, Laff,” Laurens huffed. “Plus, shouldn’t you be using Continental Dollars for money?”
“Ah very well! I bet a whole Continental Dollar then.” Lafayette waved a hand dismissively.
“Still not much to bet on,” Groused Hercules.
Lafayette stopped his horse suddenly, giving a grunt of frustration as he sloppily jumped off his horse, then staggered into the woods.
“Gilly!” Alexander cried, also jumping off his horse to follow, which the others soon did as well. They hiked through the underbrush not far behind the Frenchmen.
They heard buzzing and Lafayette pointed up to a tree. “There, what did I tell you! It was easy to find them, no?”
Said bees were swarming madly around the hive several feet above their heads as if they anticipated someone would attack them.
‘Uh Laff, are you sure this is a good idea?” Alexander asked warily, glancing from his friend to the beehive.
Lafayette waved a hand dismissively, “Of course, of course! Now first, we have to get the bees to leave the nest. Alexandre, go get some leaves, Mulligan go get some rocks.”
Within a few minutes, Hercules had made a circle with the rocks, while Hamilton piled leaves in the middle. Lafayette clapped his hands, “We must set fire to the leaves. The smoke will drive away the bees.”
Alexander looked slightly perplexed. “Uh….” he padded his pocket’s trying to find flint and steel. His eyes lit up as he called out, “Got it!” He sparked the leaves, the smoke rising and the bees' movements slowing, some even abandoning the hive.
“Now we must get it down.” Lafayette instructed. “Alexandre, you’re the smallest of us, climb up and cut it down, will you?”
Alexander stared at his friend with wide, frantic eyes. " Gilbert, have you lost your mind?!" He glanced up at the high branches.
Lafayette pouted his lips. “Please? For me, Mon Ami?” He put his hands together in a pleading gesture.
Alexander rolled his eyes. “Alright Gilbert. But if I break my arm….”
Gilbert laughed. “Don't worry, I won't let that happen. We’ll help you up.”
Hercules and Lafayette folded their hands and helped Alexander' grab onto the lowest branch. The West Indian climbed until he reached the beehive, leaning against the tree. “Throw me up a branch or something I can hit it with!”
Laurens tossed a stick into the air, and Alexander swiftly snatched it, playfully swatting at the beehive in hopes that it would fall. The bees, however, were far from amused and swiftly swarmed towards him in a chaotic frenzy. Hamilton let out a startled yelp as he hurriedly descended, clumsily tumbling from the final branch and landing unceremoniously on his backside. The buzzing grew louder as the men got to their feet and ran as fast as they could. In no time, the bees swarmed closer, unleashing their fury by inflicting painful stings upon the men's faces, necks, and hands.
Startled by the sight of a pond, it was Lafayette who screamed, "Quickly, my friends, let's dive into the water!" Without hesitation, all four men submerged themselves, keeping their heads underwater and holding their breaths until the bees dispersed.
Lafayette was the first out of the water. He was met with three drenched figures emerging from the pond, their uniforms clinging to their bodies. Their eyes were fixed on him, filled with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.
"Next time, I won't trust your claims of being a nature enthusiast when you were younger, Laff," Hercules grumbled.
The four officers scrambled back to the horses, mounting them and racing back to camp with all due speed.
~*~
Laurens opened the door cautiously, poking his head around it and motioned for the others to follow. The three other aides kept watch, hoping not to be seen by the General.
“Hopefully the General is in his study, or out on a ride,” Alexander began. “Perhaps we can get upstairs and remove our wet clothes to dry before-”
“Gentlemen?” The deep timbre of George Washington called from the stairwell, and the men froze in the spot. “Which one of you would like to tell me why you all are sopping wet?”
“Em…. Your Excellency…” Laurens started, glancing at his friends and flummoxing for an explanation.
“Mon General….” Lafayette jumped in next trying to come up with an explanation that didn’t include them being drunk for the whole of the afternoon.
“I accidentally struck a fallen beehive when we were trotting. We angered a bunch of bees enough that we had to take evasive action and dive into a pond, sir.” Alexander remarked calmly.
The General's face was a mixture of bemusement and chagrin at his officers. “Are you injured?”
“Just some bee stings sir.” Alexander acknowledged, wincing at the one on his hand.
“Very well, have McHenry see to them and then report back to me. There are some new missives to see to.” Washington ordered.
“Yes, sir!” the four men said in unison while saluting. When they heard the door to Washington’s quarters close, they looked at each other with more than a little disbelief that they’d gotten away with the lie.
“Thanks, Hammie.” Laurens patted him on the shoulder. “Quick thinking on your part.”
The four men went upstairs to have their stings seen to, fervently wishing that the only ones who would know of the day's events would stay between them.
*~*
“Ow!” Alexander winced in pain as Doctor McHenry carefully applied alcohol to his bee-stung hand.
“Are you going to tell me what really happened, Hammie?” the doctor asked, looking up at him with raised eyebrows as he wiped an alcohol-sodden piece of gauze on his forehead. “Considering that I can smell the liquor on your breath….’ McHenry remarked with a raised eyebrow.
Alexander remained calm while saying, “We had to have something to drink to relieve some of the pain of being stung so badly.”
“Mmhmm.” McHenry replied. The doctor continued to clean and treat Alexander's bee stings, all the while shooting him a skeptical look. "I don't recommend self-medicating with alcohol for bee stings, before or after the matter." McHenry said with a mischievous smile. "Next time, come to me right away so I can treat you properly."
Alexander nodded sheepishly, knowing he had been caught in a lie. Dr. McHenry was the one person he could rely on, without a doubt, to look after them and safeguard their silly escapades from the prying eyes of the General.