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If someone had told Jade twelve years ago that he couldn't survive alone, he would have laughed right in their face.
How could he not? At age five, he was already the best elve in the batch. And no, this is not him being overconfident or narcissistic. It's just fact. He was the fastest swimmer, he had the longest and strongest tail, he was the smartest. His siblings always flocked to him, hoping to be his partner, to snatch a small chance of survival.
What a bunch of hopeful idiots, he thought, as he watched them die, one by one. Too blinded by their needs to see tomorrow. Too trusting for their own good. They didn't realise how he'd used them as bait, how he'd seen them as inconveniences, as burdens he wanted to, needed to get rid of. They couldn't see pass empty smiles and gentle but cold slanted eyes, as Jade left them behind for dead, for the waiting mouths of cold blooded predators, lost and clueless.
In a way, you could say that Jade couldn't survive without them. He did used them for his own survival, after all.
He just simply didn't need them to live. He was fine on his own before, and he was fine on his own then. Their 'sacrifices' were just some entertainment. It was fun while it lasted.
If someone tells Jade now that he can't survive alone, he will partially agree with them. He won't correct them, also.
They won't understand, anyway. For Jade couldn't have lived on his own then if the other person hadn't been him. Jade can't live on his own now if the other person isn't him.
"Seems to me he can't do anything without you."
Jade almost laughed then. Almost. He successfully refrained. Because one, he didn't want to show his teeth to anyone else, let alone Riddle. And two, Riddle would have been upset. Jade wouldn't mind upsetting Riddle, his classmate's scandalous expression is always entertaining. But if Riddle had been upset, then Azul would have been upset, and Azul can be a total asshole when he's upset. Actually, Jade wouldn't mind being an asshole back. But he digresses.
Jade almost laughed. Oh how wrong his hot headed classmate was.
For he remembers those young days, wandering aimlessly, alive but not really living it, waiting for something, anything to happen. Remembers bits and parts of his siblings, torn apart, not directly by him but technically of his own doing nonetheless, drifted away by the current, as he watched on with indifferent eyes, the red was such a fascinating color on the ever blue of the sea, but not for long. Remembers the feeling of detachment, of boredom, of doing the same things everyday. Woke up, hunted, ran, hid. Rinsed and repeated. The world was colorless back then, with dull and sad shades of black and white and grey, and Jade found himself desperate for more.
Jade was alive. But he didn't really have a will to live. Because live for what, exactly? They were all going to die anyway. There was no point living a life so monotonous and spending all its time in fear and anticipation, waiting for a tomorrow that might never come.
Maybe Jade wasn't so cold, after all. For he was still alive, hoping for a miracle to burst into his life, for something more than this pre-established harmony to happen. And as if the benevolent Sea Witch had heard his prayer, things changed.
Jade remembers a small silhouette, dancing beautifully inside the wreck of a sunken ship, so utterly surreal and free and ethereal with all the forgotten accessories and jewelries adorned them. Remembers a boy, with skinny body and bruised small tail, laughing manically as he played around with agitated adult sharks and eventually led them to their demise. Remembers he himself approached the strange boy, who was still laughing uncontrollably at the shark, dead and mounted on a long pointy mast.
'That was dangerous.'
'That's the point, Hidarime-kun.'
'Hidarime-kun?'
'Your left eye is pretty. So you're Hidarime-kun.'
Jade remembers almost snorting at the absurd reasoning. Remembers hair with same style and colors as his but much wilder. Remembers drooping gold and olive eyes, so similar to his own but somehow gentler and more transparent.
'Anyway, why did you do that?'
'Duh. Because it's funny?'
'You could have died.'
'We're all going to die anyway. Why not seek death and have some fun before it comes for us?'
Jade doesn't remember a manic grin slowly formed on his face, but he does remember his sibling's laughter, childish and raw and bell-like.
'I like this smile of yours more than the usual one.'
'...The usual?'
'Yeah. It looks weird on your face.'
'I just want to assure our brothers and sisters that everything's going to be alright.'
'Nuh-uh. Your eyes always look hungry.'
Jade remembers laughing for real back then, genuine and full of joy and relief, because he had found a gem. The only one of its kind. And he wasn't going to let go.
He wasn't going to let go of his newly vibrant world. He wasn't going to let go of his will to live.
'I'm Jade. Would you like to be my partner?'
' ...Aha~ Floyd. Don't let me get bored, alright Hidarime-kun?'
So he answered his classmate.
"No, Riddle-san." A nostalgic smile on his lips. "I'm the one who can't do anything without him."
Floyd was, is, a finicky little one.
Jade hadn't been able to understand the world through Floyd's eyes then, and he still doesn't fully understand the world Floyd sees now. For all he knows, it's chaotic, it's a sea of undiscovered information and unseen knowledge, it's illogical to anyone but Floyd himself. It's a world built for Floyd and Floyd alone, sacred and untouched. But Jade was nothing but a greedy and stubborn being. He learned how to communicate with Floyd, how Floyd worked, and how Floyd communicated back with the world.
And then Jade knew, that Floyd couldn't connect to the normal world, he wasn't even trying to. The things he said, while gradually becoming exciting and ingenious to Jade, were just gibberish and crazy to others. He attracted troubles as if it was his second nature. People said he was a lunatic with zero self preservation and a death wish. His grades were always terrible because he either submitted blank paper or just wrote the results on it. Floyd was an outcast, and he didn't even seem to mind.
What a bunch of narrow minded people, Jade thought, as he watched Floyd talked with the dolphins in that high pitched language of them, smiling happily at something Jade couldn't understand. They didn't see the numerous times Floyd danced with death and emerged the winner. They didn't see how Floyd used the currents to swim faster than Jade himself. They didn't get to witness and experience incredible things like Jade had been doing ever since he took Floyd's hand. They couldn't understand that as long as Floyd enjoyed himself, nothing else mattered, that Floyd got bored easily.
That was when Jade got scared.
Floyd got bored easily. As long as Floyd enjoyed himself, nothing else mattered, not even his own life. Jade watched Floyd lived his life with no regard to his safety as long as it was fun. He watched Floyd destroyed rare stones and threw away gems without a second thought, because they meant nothing to him more than some pretty looking things. Jade watched, subtle worriedness etched on his eyebrows, as Floyd came home with scratches on his cheeks, bleeding wounds on his tail and a contented smile on his face.
Floyd could get bored of the world one day, and he wouldn't hesitate to leave it. Floyd could slip out of Jade's grasp any moment, and Jade couldn't do anything about it.
Jade realised then. He was the only connection Floyd had to this world, the only one who could keep him entertained. Floyd needed Jade, as much as Jade needed Floyd. Jade made a promise to Floyd, and he intended to keep it.
Floyd has a young sleeping face.
Jade muses, as he watchs his half sleeps, vulnerable and unaware of his surroundings, and his heart sings. Moray eel is a timid creature. For Floyd to sleep like this in Jade's presence, it shows how much Floyd trusts him, and Jade can't help a fond smile blooming on his lips.
Jade isn't scared anymore. Floyd may get bored easily, and that's okay. Floyd may get bored of the world one day and won't hesitate to leave it, and that's okay, too. Because he likes it best when Floyd enjoys himself. Because the very moment Floyd dies is the moment Jade stops this beating heart of his with his own bare hands. Because Jade can't do anything without Floyd. Because Floyd is Jade's light, Jade's darkness, Jade's colors. Jade's reason for living as well as Jade's demise. Floyd is Jade's everything.
But Jade is nothing but a greedy and stubborn man. There're things he has yet to see, tons of fun to experience, and he wants to do them all with Floyd alongside him. Jade made a promise to Floyd, and he intends to keep it.
Don't let me get bored, alright Hidarime-kun?
Jade softly strokes Floyd's wild hair, and puts a tender kiss on his forehead.
"I'll make this world an exciting place for you as much as possible..."
So stay with me, just a little bit longer, okay?