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Oliver has got his best suit on. He’s decked out in the most ostentatious jewelry he could find because Bruce is an asshole when he drops the mask and he’s trying to prove a point. He has rented out a couple of McLaren’s, a Royce, an Aston Martin, the last Bentley Bruce failed to block him from getting, and a green Lambo especially for Hal because he heard from Roy that Jason likes cars. They’re doing dinner at a nice restaurant and then a late-night college baseball game because he doesn’t know Jason on a personal level so he has no idea what the kid likes and it’s not like he had time to plan this bachelor party. He hopes the kid’s happy with surf’n’turf and unlimited beer, but if he isn’t, he can blame the Gotham contingent for not giving Oliver a straight answer when he asked them for suggestions. (Yes, he knows dancers are a must for some guys but Oliver doesn’t want any drama. Hal can complain all he wants but it’s not happening on his watch).
It’s seven at night and Oliver knocks on the door to Jason and Roy’s house.
Jason opens the door, “Hey, Ollie,” he says politely enough.
Oliver isn’t stupid. He knows the kid wants this night even less than he does. But Roy asked Oliver to do this and, on all that is sacred in his life, this broody little bat isn’t going to stop Oliver from fulfilling his promise.
“You ready?” Oliver asks. He’s not sure if he wants to delay the inevitable or just get it over with.
Jason nods but there’s an edge to it, like he’s mentally preparing himself to go to war. Oliver steps back so Jason can get lock the front door. This puts him in a prime position to see the happy surprise on Jason’s face when he sees the line of cars.
(Dick sticks his hand out of the Royce to wave. Jason hesitantly waves back.)
Jason whistles. “Is that a Speedtail?”
“Yes,” Oliver says as he hands Jason the car key. No point in getting the cars and not letting the kid get a taste of it, “you and me are in that one.”
Jason relaxes a bit. One he gets to the car, he takes a minute to admire it before getting in. Then he takes a minute to admire the inside. Like a kid at a candy store, he touches everything. (Hal takes off because it’s pre-agreed he’ll get to the restaurant first to make sure they don’t screw anything up for the party and Hal is, surprisingly, the guy with the most experience planning these type of parties.)
“The GPS is set to go the long way,” Oliver says.
Jason does what Oliver doesn’t think is even possible, he relaxes even more. The car roars when he turns it on and before Oliver knows it, they’re taking off. A quick glance to the back shows the rest of the possession behind them. At the designated spot, Jason turns down a large but mostly empty street where he can really test out the capabilities of the car. Everyone else goes the other way and will wait for the man-of-the-hour at the restaurant.
Jason’s drive starts out mostly silent. There’s the roar of the car, the low music set to play 80’s rock, the whistle of the air as they speed down the road.
“You drive good,” Oliver says only so Roy won’t complain later about Oliver being rude to his beau.
“Thanks,” Jason says after an awkward silence. It’s like he too is avoiding a scolding. “I’m more used to bikes but I signed up for refresher driving lessons so I could safely drive Lian around.”
Oliver wants to sigh in relief. Lian is the perfect topic, he can be civil with Jason if they focus on her.
“She finally decide on a dress?” Oliver asks.
“God no,” Jason says with a snort. “I can tell she really wants something poofy with tule but I think she’s too embarrassed to dress up so fancy for something that’s supposed to be low-key.”
Oliver snorts because there’s nothing low-key about this wedding. Not with everybody and their grandmothers getting involved in the planning process.
The conversation stays mostly focused on the wedding and Lian. Jason, apparently with a lot to say, goes off. (“Lian said she wants strawberry and Roy’s fighting for classic vanilla, it just makes sense to get chocolate too for a Neapolitan flavored cake.” “We are doing the food truck thing, it’s just easier to accommodate everyone’s taste that way.” “Roy finally settled on Disney World for the familymoon—wow, that’s such a stupid word now that I think about it.” “I suggested we hire Deathstroke to run security but Roy thinks that’s gauche since everyone on the guest list hates him.”)
They arrive at the restaurant. They park near all the other rented cars and make their way to the party, Oliver is feeling confident with his choices so far. Jason is greeted with a rather enthusiastic round of applause and some uncomfortable cat-calls from the younger guests. Under other circumstances, Oliver would preen at a job well done. They have a nice batch of party-goers, a private patio all to themselves that’s decorated to a T thanks to restaurant management, and good food waiting for them. Oliver should be proud at a job well done. It’s just too bad there’s a party crasher that’s bringing his mood down.
“Jason,” Bruce says, a (non-alcoholic?) drink in hand. “Congratulations.”
Jason stands awkwardly at the entrance. “Thanks. And thanks for coming.”
“Ollie,” Clark says, standing behind Bruce. “Thanks for the invite.”
“You’re welcome,” Oliver bites out.
“Brucie,” Hal says trying to place an arm on Bruce’s shoulder but fails to when Bruce side-steps him, “let the groom come in. Come on Jason, the hot-seat is over here.”
Jason goes along with it. Oliver sees him nervously greet the guests (Oliver hopes Jason gets along with the Justice Leaguers and the Titans that were invited; it’s not like Oliver has been told who Jason’s friends are) and then watches as Jason clumsily takes a seat; the poor schmuck, everything about him is tense.
“Brucie-boy,” Oliver says, “What a surprise to see you here after the tantrum you threw the last time we spoke.”
Bruce’s smile doesn’t drop exactly but there’s a distinct change in the atmosphere. “I wouldn’t call looking out for one’s son a tantrum. Would you like me to explain why?”
Dick approaches them and laughs fakely. He does manage to place his arm on Bruce’s shoulders. “Let’s go, dad of one of the grooms. Your presence is required.”
Clark gets closer to Oliver and whispers, “I really do think this is just one big misunderstanding. Maybe you two can clear the air, talk in private sometime during dinner?”
Oliver doesn’t say anything. He’s still reeling from when Bruce cornered him to demand they follow his instructions in regards to the wedding, as if he and Dinah haven’t been doing a good job at it, and accusing them of purposely trying to sabotage the event because they don’t like Jason.
Clark and him go to the table just as Hal and Connor are passing out these comically large, jokey paper ties for the guest to wear. Jason gets one with handcuffs and the word ‘Doomed’ in big red letters above the scratched-out word ‘Groom’. Oliver’s says ‘Just looking’ under some emoji eyes while Bruce’s says ‘In an Open Relationship’ with a picture of an open wallet full of bills.
“These are so cool,” Barry says while the party guests trying to decide which is the best one.
“I know!” Dick says. And then he proceeds to tell his story of how he came to buy these novelty ties as Jason fondly rolls his eyes.
Oliver is proud to say that there’s not a single dull moment during dinner. Nobody looks bored and Jason is practically showered in attention. (The worst thing about dinner is that Wally won’t stop bringing up Roy’s past romances but that doesn’t seem to bother Jason in the least—it does seem to irk Bruce but Oliver couldn’t care less about him). They drink, they take pictures, they eat to their heart’s content, (and points to him for finding the one steakhouse to also have a decent vegan menu.)
When the excitement of dinner dies down, Oliver stands up to make a toast. He ignores Bruce trying to stare him down.
“Gentlemen and not so gentle men,” Oliver says, earning himself some chuckles, “the night’s not over for us, but before we head out to our next spot, I want us to toast to our groom. The wedding might be in a couple of days but know you’re already part of the family. Good luck with Roy, fella, you’re going to need it.”
The table bursts into applause. Jason does that face-pulling thing people do to stop smiling. Oliver’s phone starts vibrating like crazy. It’s Roy and he’s sending all these happy messages like he’s not at his own mini-celebration with the girls. Tim, who’s been recording almost every minute of dinner, finally puts his phone away.
There’s a bit more chatter, a bit more teasing, some are gulping their drinks down to take advantage of the open bar, Bruce is still staring daggers. No biggie.
“Come on, fella,” Oliver says after he’s taken care of the bill. “We got places to be.”
That’s everyone’s cue to get going.
“Can I still drive?” Jason says. He hasn’t had a drop of alcohol so Oliver trusts him to get them to the ballgame.
The ride from the restaurant is almost as calm as the first one. Oliver even finds himself contributing to the conversation.
(“Rayner said there’s a bet going on about how our wedding is going to be ruined. He said he hopes nothing happens but his money is on ‘one of the grooms gets lost on the way to the altar and is kidnapped by random villain’.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about it. I think my favorite so far is ‘villain makes me and Batman fight in a deathmatch’, I’d win that fight, of course.”)
When they get to the baseball field, Jason’s eyes light up in delight. Oliver almost wants to text Bruce and say ‘take that, you jerk,’ but he decides Bruce seeing Jason’s excitement first hand is the better choice.
He and Jason walk together and meet up with the rest of the party. They get to go through a special entrance because Oliver can be a pretentious douchebag when he needs to be and are taken to their seats; they’re supposed to be the best ones in the stadium that management specifically reserves for big parties at a hefty price. Fortunately, there’s enough seats even for the party crasher and even more fortunate Bruce and his death glare stay out his sight.
(“He thought you were going to be cruel and plan something Jason wouldn’t like,” Clark says when Jason is distracted chatting with everyone else.)
(“I mean, you did only start planning a couple of days ago,” Clark says when Oliver goes to take a leak. “You can’t blame Bruce for being concerned.”)
(“Can I just tell him everything’s good?” Clark asks when Oliver is sending Dinah a short video of Connor and Jason laughing at Damian, Connor’s snacks falling out of his hands.
It’s a weird moment for Oliver, when he sees not the pipsqueak in a yellow cape nor the murderous red-helmeted villain who torments teenagers because of his daddy issues, but the guy that makes his son smile like a doofus and that makes his granddaughter feel safe. It’s as if he’s got a double vision of sorts, where he can see a divergence between what was and what is. Oliver has to shake his head to stop thinking about it. He’ll talk to Dinah about it later.)
The game ends without a hitch even if Guy won’t stop complaining about all the bad calls the umpire made to anyone that bothers to pay him any attention.
(“I lost,” John says as they head out, “I had ‘disaster at the bachelor party ruins the wedding’, I got my hopes up when Bruce showed up; thank you for failing me, Ollie.”)
Oliver, the best bachelor part planner of the entire caped community, takes Roy’s boy back home and delivers him right to his doorstep.
“Thanks, Ollie,” Jason says and it’s almost shy how he does it, very un-Red Hood like, “I enjoyed myself.”
“Of course you did, fella. I planned this thing, didn’t I?” Oliver says. “Say hi to Roy and Lian for me.”
Jason nods and the scurries into the house. The door is closed softly and the locks are set.
Oliver turns around and makes a mental note to look into security himself. Their group’s track record for weddings is not a good one; he hopes this one is an exception.