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Sapnap is so nauseous.
He’s packed in the back seat of an uber, head nearly halfway out the window. George and Karl are next to him being obnoxiously loud in the confined space. The three of them took some celebratory shots as they were wrapping up after shooting Banter, and Sapnap is really regretting it at the moment.
He would feel really bad if he threw up in this uber.
George is squirming incessantly next to him, some part of his body always pressed against Sapnap’s. Him and Karl are already a lot when it’s just the three of them, but it’s ten times worse when they’re drunk. They’re both so touchy, constantly all over each other and all over him.
When they finally pull up to Karl’s house, Sapnap gives the driver a quick thank you before running to the door. He has to wait for the other two to spill out of the car, giggling and stumbling around. The fresh air helps as he takes deep breaths to get his nausea under control.
Karl finally unlocks the door and Sapnap beelines straight to his fridge to grab a Gatorade. He thinks Karl mentioned ordering food for them but it’s nearly 3 in the morning so who knows if anything is open now. Sapnap downs his drink and sits on the floor next to the couch and closes his eyes. Karl lays on the couch, turning on the tv to fill the silence.
“Do you want something from Wendys?” Karl holds his phone in front of Sapnap’s face, prompting him to grab it and choose what he wants before handing it back. George emerges from the bathroom then, crowding in to sit himself basically on top of Karl.
It reminds him of the first time the three of them got drunk together, when they were visiting George in the UK.
When George and Karl kissed.
He remembers it so vividly.
He was on the floor while the other two were on the couch, just like they are now. They were bickering about something, getting in each other’s faces until George grabbed Karl and kissed him. And they kept kissing.
It made Sapnap flush and his stomach turn. He suddenly felt like he was intruding on something, so he fled to the bathroom. They were separated again when he walked back in, and neither of them mentioned it for the rest of the trip.
They weren’t really touchy with him then.
Karl had learned quickly Sapnap wasn’t entirely comfortable with physical affection yet and he respected that. George wasn’t really affectionate with anyone except for Karl. The dynamic made him feel weird. They had been practically attached at the hip the entire time Karl was there,, and neither of them were like that with him.
Sapnap thought about that moment a lot. When he got back home to Florida he would play the memory in his head over and over again. Every time he thought about it it felt like he was poking at a bruise.
So he told Dream, which clearly ended up not being a great choice.
-
Dream chuckles, “you’re jealous, Sap.”
“I know,” Sapnap sighs, dragging his hand over his face.
Dream nods. “You’re gay?” He asks after a moment.
“No, uhm, bi.”
-
Dream is still the only person Sapnap’s come out to. It just wasn’t something that had ever really come up in other conversations. Admitting he came out to Dream because he was jealous that George and Karl kissed is mortifying, especially after the blonde had let the information slip during one of his Discord podcasts.
“Slip” is putting it lightly but he tries not to dwell on the incident too much.
So they had kissed then. And he thinks they might have kissed in Amsterdam. He’s not really sure because he wasn’t there, but from the streams he had watched and the pictures that came of it he would be surprised if nothing had happened between them.
Experiencing their intimacy first-hand and up close and personal was hell but nothing being there was almost worse.
Dream had gotten tired of his moping and banned him from Twitter or watching streams for the rest of the con and he hadn’t asked. So he just doesn’t know.
But then George was finally able to come home and they were all in San Diego and Sapnap thought whatever all that was was over. George was drowning in attention from all their other friends he was meeting for the first time and Karl had kissed Dream. Things were normal again.
And then they kissed in Antarctica.
That’s around the time they started being touchier with him too. They had him sleep in between them in their tent, pressing themselves as close to him as possible. They needed the warmth.
-
Sapnap still isn’t really used to how much they touch him now, especially when they’re drunk. He thinks about when they were filming, how George was so close to his face that he could smell the vodka on his breath and the grip he had on him. He could feel the older man's heavy gaze on him. Karl had lain on him too and it made his head spin. He felt so small, entirely surrounded by them.
He wants them so much it hurts.
“Are you good?” George pokes him on the cheek, popping his mouth with the movement. They’re both looking at him from where they’re intertwined on the couch. “You’ve been kinda off all night and I know it’s not just you being drunk,” Karl adds.
Sapnap feels like his whole body is on fire. Having both their attention on him like this is too much.
“I like boys.”
George untangles himself from Karl’s body, sliding down onto the floor to get to Sapnap. Their knees are touching from how close he’s sitting. “Is that it? You kno-”
“I like you. Both of you. And I don’t think you guys like me because I see how you act with each other but sometimes you two are all over me but it’s only really when we’re drunk. I don’t get it. My head hurts,” his words are slurred, both because he’s drunk and because of how fast the words spill out of him. His eyes closed at some point to avoid looking at them and he wants the ground to swallow him whole. He half-hopes he’s drunk enough that he won’t remember this in the morning.
The room is silent besides the TV. Sapnap’s head is pounding again, and he’s hyper aware of how fast his heart is beating.
A water bottle is gently pushed against his hand, which he accepts and drinks. When he opens his eyes again, Karl is on the floor now too.
“You think we don’t like you?” George breaks the silence, tilting his head at the youngest. His question comes with a sincerity Sapnap’s never really heard from him. He holds back tears as he shakes his head, but he can tell that he’s pouting. He feels so vulnerable.
“Of course we like you Nick,” Karl says, playing with the rings on his fingers. “We didn’t say or do anything about it because you didn’t really seem comfortable with, like, the affection I guess. You get weird when me and George are cuddly in front of you.”
“Jealous,” George corrects. He grabs Sapnap’s hand and presses their palms together. He tends to do it a lot when he’s drunk. “He was jealous.”
“I felt left out,” Sapnap mumbles. “You guys are always all over each other and you kiss like all the time and it just… sucks to watch it all happen from the sidelines.”
“We like you, Sap,” George states, moving his hands to grip onto Sapnap’s arms. He brings their faces close together, like he had when they were filming.
“Will you kiss me?” Sapnap breaths, and George does.
It’s soft and sweet, and Sapnap feels the most at peace he has all night. It’s short, a little more than a peck, but it’s enough.
George scratches his beard softly as he pulls away, a small smile on his sleepy face.
“Can I kiss you too or did you just want George?” Karl teases, scooting closer to the two of them.
“You too, please,” Sapnap is already leaning closer, the embarrassment and dread he was filled with before now long gone.
“You don’t have to beg, I’m right here,” Karl smiles at him. The rings on his fingers are cold against his flushed cheeks as he brings their lips together.
Sapnap feels giddy and giggles when Karl playfully bites his lip before pulling away.
“Let’s get our food and then we’ll talk more, okay?”