Chapter Text
Never let it show, the pain I’ve grown to know,
‘Cause with all these things we do,
It doesn't matter when I’m coming home to you.
After skimming through the lines, his eyes flickered to the person sitting in front of him. He tucks the papers back into the envelope.
“This won’t do.”
Throwing the A4 sized envelope on the wooden table, the editor-in-chief, who looked older than his age, crossed his arms. Itoshi Rin, who’s an editor in the same publishing house, spare a glance at the papers that were peeking out from the envelope that was thrown right in front of his face, and then back to the editor-in-chief. His face stoic but his jaw clenched, clearly dissatisfied with the reaction he received.
The editor-in-chief, named Oliver Aiku, a former top author because the last book he wrote about a hopeless romantic who fell in love with a disabled person received high ratings. It was the only hit book among all the books he wrote, and there’s a movie adaptation based on the book too. At least, his career was at its peak before he stopped writing entirely and dedicated his life to help the young authors develop their skills by becoming one of the executives in Blue Lock Publishing House’s editorial team.
Apparently, both the veteran and the editor are having a staring competition right now.
The older man is pinching the bridge of his nose, letting out a muffled groan before he breaks the silence he eventually knows will become tense soon , “look, Rin. I always believe in you, okay?”
“This is the third one.” Rin spoke through gritted teeth. Not once, but thrice. His draft was rejected thrice.
Aiku nods slowly, “right— I know.” And shrugged, “but still, I can’t help it, it’s uh.. too empty and...” he said it with an apologetic look, “...bland.” except that it looks fake as hell.
Rin noticed it and said, “you’re onto something.”
“I’m not.”
“Spill it before I make you.”
Aiku leans forward and rests his chin on the back of his palm, “you are a talented writer, you know that, right? You’re gifted with such talent at such a young age—” bla bla bla… the same bullshit he heard from the first time he stepped in here to be a co-writer in Aiku’s most popular book.
“Stop beating around the bush, old man. Just say it.” The dark-haired editor cut him off before he could even continue, “I feel like you wanted me to do something.”
The editor-in-chief looked at him with a bewildered expression, not that he never worked with Rin before this. He actually did, in one of his greatest projects, the younger really proved that he has a talent in writing. However, there’s something that doesn’t sit right with him. “Before that, do you know what my actual dream is?”
Rin rolled his eyes, “I don’t care.”
“Do you know who I wanna be?”
“I don’t fucking ca–”
“The next shakespeare!” He suddenly outbursts but it didn’t make Rin waver one bit. Those teal eyes are empty so he believes that kid didn’t fear anything. The older man repositioned himself with his usual (professional) posture and clears his throat awkwardly, “I just wanna say that I hate it when someone cuts me off.”
Rin rolled his eyes for the nth time today. At this point, he just wanted to go home.
“Don’t do it again.” Aiku warned.
“Yeah, yeah sure, Aikuspeare-sama.” He replied nonchalantly and the name seems to amuse the other man as the stupid grin appears.
“What’s wrong with my draft?” Before Aiku could make another possessed Shakespeare appearance, Rin begins another conversation referring to the draft from earlier.
“Okay, to be honest I never said it wasn’t good.” He did say it was bland and empty but okay. “I admit it myself, it is good.”
“But?” Rin continues, knowing there must be another reason.
“But!” He smiles proudly, “I have another project for you.”
The younger’s eyes shone with excitement, and the mood suddenly shifted like a flip of switch. He fucking love poetry, he loves writing, he loves pouring all of his emotions in one paragraph and make it a masterpiece. Reverting his emotions into words is his most favorite thing. Rin has been an editor for five years now, and he’s been there for Aiku in the span of five years too.
He started off as a co-writer in one of Aiku’s books when he was part-time freelancer during his final year of Bachelor’s degree, afterwards landed himself a permanent job as an editor with Aiku’s help too. Blue Lock wasn’t the biggest publishing house so far but it is a promising company that gives a lot of opportunities for the beginner authors to publish their works under a copyright label.
The thing is, ever since he worked at Blue Lock, he never published any of his own work. Since he’s an editor he has to revise and review others’ works and their sequels instead of writing. He actually waited for his drafts to see the light but instead promises after promises were made by the editor-in-chief everyday, spouting things like: “Just take it as a training for you to develop your soft skills.” on his probation period.
After the probation period ended, Aiku congratulated him once and avoided him for a whole month before he could even ask why he was offered a position as an editor instead of an author. The following month, he managed to receive an answer that he considered as a ‘safe answer’ for some employers if their employees ever asked about promotions: “You need more experience in this field before you can write one yourself!” while giving him a thumbs up.
And then after two years of working: “Now that I’m up here, I will land you on a huge project as an author. Soon!” with a wink.
It’s been five years. He’s been waiting since.
If patience can give him money, he will definitely become a millionaire by now. And if there’s an award for a company that gives false promises, then Blue Lock can go up to the stage as a winner for five continuous years.
So when he heard about an incoming project dedicated to him, he’s like a happy little puppy who expects a treat from his owner. Aiku whistles, smirking as he notices the sudden change of mood, “looks like someone’s happy.”
“Shut up.” Rin looked down to hide his blush, his bangs covering his face before he brushed them back with his fingers. “Tell me. About the project. Everything.”
“Despite our publishing house gaining a lot of loyal readers, we lacked something like this .” He shoved a documentary novel about one of the most prominent businessmen in Japan. A millionaire who proved his worth after years of building his career in the industry, finally starting a business after 15+ years of experience. The story behind his success touched millions of hearts. Rin flips the cover and reads out a random line.
“…a living proof that hard work and experience goes beyond a scroll.”
Haruka, the author of this documentary book, really did a great job in inspiring people through their writing.
Aiku studied Rin’s reaction before he adds, “I want to publish something like this about a public figure, not some boring businessman. Those corporate freaks are just too common these days, I need something else.” Rin bites back his laugh, said the corporate freak himself.
“Most importantly, someone that brings impact to the world, someone that inspires a whole generation. And oh–” he snaps his fingers as he remembers something, “before I forget, for this project I choose Gen Z as the targeted readers by the way, if you’re curious.”
Rin nods, simply implying that he understands.
Aiku tapped the book cover with his index finger, “just like this man right here, I need it to be more than just a boring documentary that features his achievements or anything materialistic.” He leans forward, it’s his usual posture when he’s either convincing or motivating the other authors. He then spoke in a low tone, verbally emphasizing the words one by one. “I want it to have more sentimental values, something that can move a whole nation and bring impact to the world. And you—” He points at Rin, “you’re the chosen one. I believe you are capable of writing this .”
“You’re exaggerating.” Rin commented.
“Hey, tell that to my face after you’ve become successful, I dare you.”
The editor has mixed feelings about this, sure Aiku proposed to him a huge project but– “but I’m not capable of writing something like this.”
Aiku raised his brows, “why not?”
“I’m not Haruka.”
Aiku scoffs, “of course you’re not. You’re Itoshi Rin, you can write your own version. Plus, there’s no limit in writing if you have the talent.”
Rin rubs his nape, contemplating his reason. He’s always confident in his interests but this one is not his forte, “I… I don’t know if I can write about a life experience of someone I don’t know.”
“Rin, I’ve seen your drafts, almost all of them. When I read it I feel like you’ve been writing about someone, that’s one point for you.”
Rin’s chest tightens.
“You portrayed them so well, and it was written beautifully. Two points.” He continues.
Someone.
He swallowed a huge lump in his throat.
“Putting that altogether with your experience as an editor, I believe you can do it— yes, you can do this.” He sounds more like convincing himself instead of the potential author.
“But still, I believe you heard me the first time when I said I can’t write about someone that I don’t know.”
Aiku points at him, “Ah, regarding to that concern of yours, don’t worry about it since you’re going to write about someone that you know so I think it won’t be too awkward during the interview considering your…” He gives Rin a judgemental look, “…communication skills.”
“Prepare your deathbed.”
“Okay! okay—I’m joking. Alright? We’re cool right?”
Rin scowls, he really wants to go home but he needs to get ahold of this for awhile. Plus, this is his first project.
However, he is curious about his first client. He didn’t recall anyone that he knows because he barely had any friends back in school or in college.
Aiku picks up his tablet and flips the cover before looking up something on Google. His expression lightens up when he finds it, “Here, this is your client.” He shoves the tablet right in front of Rin.
Rin stares at the picture wide-eyed.
That’s it– that’s him. Those endearing blue eyes that haunts him almost every day, that vicious smile that captured his heart the first time he saw him, the—
“The world’s best striker, Isagi Yoichi. I found out you guys went to the same high school–”
“I don’t remember him,” He lied. To be honest, who could forget a pair of endearing blue eyes and a smile that could outshine the world? Who would forget the person that you shared the half of your lifetime with but ends up separated because of a subtle reason?
Aiku halts, confused. “Don’t lie to me. He said he knows you.”
Rin’s hands that are already on his thighs is gripping his jeans, he didn’t know why but the fact that Isagi said he knew him made him feel kind of… relieved?
However, something doesn’t feel right. He can’t do this. Out of everyone, he cannot see Isagi Yoichi. He promised to himself not to get his fate entangled with that person again.
No, he actually wasn’t ready to face him after all these years.
A sound of a hard screech of a chair echoes in the small meeting room. Aiku was surprised when Rin suddenly got up from his seat, eyes widened as he stared at the picture, his face pale, just like he'd seen a ghost. “You–” his voice appeared small, “you’re joking.”
“I’m not. He said he knows you.” Aiku leans back to his seat, crossing his legs, “And I want you to write about Isagi Yoichi.”
Rin fell into silence, his tongue tied. He has nothing to say about Isagi Yoichi—no, he had a lot of unspoken words when it comes to Isagi, his ex-lover. But that’s not the case for now, he just didn’t want to meet him or to be anywhere near him.
As the world’s number one striker, isn’t he busy? Why did he bother to sign a contract with a small company?
“Is there something wrong?”
Seeing as the editor is still being quiet, Aiku studied him for a while before he starts, “please, have a seat and talk to me.” He gestured at Rin’s seat once again; calm and professional. Rin slowly settles himself on his seat and then said, “Aiku, I’m afraid that I have to drop this project.”
The whole room fell into silence after he spoke.
Aiku nonchalantly taps his index finger on the wooden table, the sound echoes the whole room, the mood between them become tense for a while before he said, “is there any strong reason for you to do that?”
Rin’s eyes shifted to the floor. Fiddling with his fingers, he replied, “we– I mean, me and Isagi actually have some kind of history.”
Aiku raised one brow, speculating as he looked at the dark-haired editor, “I believe I heard you when you admitted not to know him earlier.”
“I’m sorry for that. Is that strong enough to withdraw from this project?”
“Were you bullied?”
“No?”
“Abused?”
“No?— No, I’m not. He’s not a bully. It’s just that we have that kind of history.”
“Oh… okay.” Aiku nods accordingly, “then it’s settled. You’re still writing about Isagi Yoichi.”
“Wait, what? No!” Rin responds, offended.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“If you had any traumatic experience or a history of abuse with the clients in the past then only you can withdraw from a project. If it’s because of that kind of history, which I believe is just some conflicted feelings amongst yourselves, I can’t do that.”
Rin sighs inwardly and slumped back to his seat.
Aiku watches him carefully before saying, “I’m sorry but I’ve had a hard time getting my hands on this project.” Rin missed this part. Aiku must’ve been working really hard to get him a project yet he’s throwing tantrums like this.
“Isagi Yoichi, despite his friendly demeanor, he’s a very strict person.” The mention of Isagi’s name caught Rin’s attention once again. “Countless proposals were sent to him not only from Blue Lock, but some other bigger companies were trying to get their hands on him but Isagi rejected all of them.”
Rin listens carefully to every word he says.
“When I spoke to the higher ups that I want to jump into the bandwagon, they disagreed completely because it’s a waste of time. I believed them too until the time I sent out my tenth proposal, where I put your name as the author, Isagi then called me saying that he would work with me because he knows you.”
Rin bites his inner cheeks, this feeling again. It feels foreign to be relieved upon those words.
“Please consider it, Rin. After all, this will be your first book if you agree to work with me.”
Rin glanced at the screen in front of him which showed a picture of Isagi Yoichi during an award ceremony. He was glowing, with a full-set tailored suit and his hair was neatly slicked back. He stands out among the crowds, so bright—brighter than the whole sky, and once again, Rin is blinded by his beauty.
He shook his thoughts away, there’s no way he has feelings for the striker other than resentment.
But he wasn’t lying when he said Isagi Yoichi has grown up to become more successful.
…and beautiful.
Rin opens up his mouth to give an answer.
They say, “all’s well that ends well” but I’m in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind.
Clocking out is the most favorite part of working office hours, indeed. 99% of the world population would agree to this, some of them would queue two minutes early before working hours are over. Same goes to Rin, since he’s working on the fourth floor, there will be a ten minute journey from the elevator to the ground floor.
He always prepared to go home early.
Always.
Except for today, he took overtime because of his meeting with Aiku. Behind the gate, he heard murmurs around him.
And then, someone dares to tap on his shoulders. Rin is about to snap before he turns to see a few people are queuing behind him. He turned back to the thumbprint machine only to see he’s already three minutes ahead of the time.
7.33 p.m.
Shit.
“Excuse me, if you’re not going to clock-out can you please step aside?” A girl with a bob cut that he didn’t bother to know who she was, spoke to him in a polite manner.
Rin blinks as the words processed in his head, “oh. yes, sure… I’m sorry.” He then stepped aside to give them a way, he didn’t realize that he'd been standing there and staring blankly at the gate with people waiting up behind him, wanting to go home.
Some of them gave him unpleasant looks, he only responded with an apologetic smile. Which looked really awkward because he didn’t owe them any apologies other than the 3-minutes extra clock out time.
After the queue was over, he stood behind the gate and touched his ID card to clock out. Stepping out from the building, he pulled out his earphones from his right pocket and tucked each of them into his earlobes. Hours to spend in the public transport meaning that thousands of songs are about to be played.
It’s already dark, and the walk to the nearest subway was short but crowds are all over the place. He got used to this already, except that he stumbled across a billboard that shows Isagi Yoichi in an energy drink advertisement along the hallway.
The screen was huge.
Huge enough for the whole nation to see.
He stops in his tracks while his eyes are fixated on the huge screen, the blue background reflecting on Rin’s orbs, mixing both colors making them look like a glint. A glint of awe.
Now that they’re on their own path, Isagi felt too close yet too far from him.
He’s featured on the big screen now and Rin became one of the strangers who watches him on the screen. Don’t get him wrong, he never said that he hated to see Isagi become successful. It’s just that, in their past, his career became one of the reasons they separated.
Suddenly he was reminded of the conversation from earlier.
“I’ll do it.”
Aiku clasped his palms enthusiastically, showing a wide grin that it’s almost scary to look at. “That’s great! Thank you so much.”
It’s not like Rin had any choice left. This is his first project and unfortunately, his first client had to be his ex.
“Oh. Before you start anything, let me tell you something.” He put up one finger in front of Rin’s face, “Rule number one of being professional is to ignore any unnecessary feelings towards the client. Let me remind you again, this project is strictly business. Hold yourself back.”
Hold yourself back.
The advertisement was played on loop and like an idiot, Rin is still standing behind those screens and staring at Isagi like a freak. When the advertisement showed the part where Isagi opened the can and swallowed the drink, Rin’s eyes reverted to Isagi’s jawline. He swallowed his own saliva at the sight, really… The question is, can he do it?