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For as long as Charlie has known him, Nick has always been obsessed with the sun – specifically sunrises and sunsets. The first time Charlie realised this was a few months into their friendship when Charlie was eighteen, Nick being twenty. Nick was showing Charlie pictures of his dog, Nellie, and saw an album named “Sun” with the number “438” underneath.
“Sorry, did I just see an album with almost five hundred pictures in it?” Charlie asked, surprise obvious in his voice.
He turned to look at Nick and noticed that the auburn haired boy was blushing and tried to hastily put his phone away, but Charlie grabbed his hand and stopped him from doing so.
Nick looked at his friend sheepishly. “It’s nothing.”
Charlie raised an eyebrow. “It’s obviously not nothing if you have that many pictures in one album,” he said pointedly. “Go on, show me.”
Nick’s lips formed a shy smile and he unlocked his phone again, biting his lower lip nervously. “It’s just loads of pictures of the sun rising and setting,” he explained as he put the phone down in front of Charlie.
Charlie looked down at the screen and tapped on one of the pictures, then slowly swiped through them. Each picture was somehow prettier than the one before. They were taken in multiple different locations; some had shadows of buildings and trees to decorate the skyline, but some showed the sun on its own, only accompanied by open fields, farmland animals or just the sun itself.
“Nick,” Charlie gasped. “These are beautiful.”
“Yeah?” Nick whispered, as if he didn’t believe Charlie’s words.
Charlie looked back up and nodded sincerely. “Yes! I’m so serious. Why have you never showed me these before?”
Nick shrugged. “I dunno. Whenever I’ve talked about it to other people they don’t really seem to care too much. Like, they look at one or two pictures then move on.”
Charlie’s heart ached a little. “Well, they’re missing out. I love them and you can show me anytime.”
Nick’s face broke out into a huge grin and his eyes began to sparkle. “Really?”
“Really,” Charlie replied.
“Thanks.” Nick turned away again, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks.
Charlie studied his best friend for a moment and realised that he wanted to say more. “What is it?”
“Do you wanna know a cool fact about sunsets?” Nick asked slowly.
“Of course!” Charlie replied enthusiastically.
Nick’s face brightened once more and his body turned to fully face Charlie as he spoke.
And that’s when it quickly dawned on Charlie that it wasn’t just an obsession, it was actually Nick’s special interest.
Since then, every so often, Nick texted Charlie the latest picture of the sun he takes, a new related fact that he finds interesting, and sometimes it’s just a paragraph dedicated to how much he loves sunrise and sunset.
When Charlie finally finished university and somehow managed to get an entry level job in a publishing company, he found himself joining Nick on late night and early morning excursions to Nick’s favourite spots. If he had any logic or common sense, Charlie wouldn't agree to every offer. But because Charlie's job is mostly work from home and has flexible hours, he constantly finds himself saying yes to Nick’s puppy eyes and excited smile.
Once when Charlie hesitated, Nick said, “But no sunset is ever the same, Charlie!”
Charlie merely rolled his eyes from his seat on Nick’s couch – a place he finds himself more and more frequently – and closed his notepad that’s on his lap. He looked up to find Nick practically bouncing on his knees in the middle of the couch, causing Charlie to move with the piece of furniture.
“Please?” Nick pouted, which made him look like a puppy begging for treats. “I’m not making it up just to get you to come. Every sunrise and sunset is unique to the previous one and nobody sees the same sunset. It’s literally a once in a lifetime experience every single day. You can’t say that about much else!”
At that, Charlie caved almost immediately, with his heart swelling with so much love for his friend. “Fine, okay!” Charlie groaned. He knew he was going to agree. He always does, no matter what – even if it means sacrificing his sleep schedule.
Nick practically squealed in delight and engulfed Charlie in a typical Nick Nelson hug.
A few months after that, Nick persuaded Charlie – in a similar fashion – to wake up before dawn so they could climb to the top of Primrose Hill.
Charlie grumbled the whole way to the top, clutching his flask of coffee to his chest.
Nick constantly teased him, which annoyingly caused Charlie to have to fight off a smile.
Finally, they made it to the top and took a seat in the middle of the stone bench. Thanks to the early hour, there was nobody else around. It was just them.
They sat in silence for a while, with Nick occasionally bringing out snacks for them to share and eventually a blanket to go over their knees because he just knew that Charlie would get cold. Eventually, they began to see a few more early risers make their way up the hill, some with dogs and some on their morning run.
“Oh, look! You can see the clouds now!” Nick whispered excitedly and moved closer to Charlie with their thighs pressing against each other.
They watched as the clouds became more visible, slowly moving around the tall buildings like The Shard and The Sky Garden. The dark blue that was illuminated by the bright city lights from the buildings gradually changed to a lighter blue. Every so often, Charlie’s eyes followed the planes that occasionally passed by above them, bringing his attention to other aspects of the sky. It was beautiful.
As the minutes passed, the blue seemed to inch higher, allowing a light shade of pink to emerge from the skyline of London. It blended seamlessly, with small fluffy clouds of various shapes and sizes gliding across the sky. The lights from the buildings fade out as the world got brighter with every minute.
As Charlie reached out for another one of Nick’s homemade pastries, his gaze landed on Nick’s face. The soft glow of the morning sun made Nick look like an angel. His hair ruffled with the gentle wind, his freckles somehow even more obvious than usual, and his small smile on his face. He looked peaceful and relaxed.
Charlie looked back at the sunrise before Nick noticed he was looking at him and tried to rid himself of the flutters he felt inside his chest.
As the pink turned to orange and the sun began to shine through the gaps, sending rays over the buildings, Nick took his phone out and immediately started to take pictures.
After a few minutes, seemingly happy with his photos, he relaxed back onto his hands, his arm gently pressed against Charlie’s side.
“You know,” Nick began, his voice soft and low. “When I was in my first year of uni and was struggling, I always sat on the top of a hill, similar to this one. But the moment I remember most vividly was when I was out with friends after our last exam. Somehow, we ended up in a gay club and a guy came up to me. He flirted a lot, bought me drinks and… I didn’t think twice about it. Then after we left, my friends teased me about it, calling me gay and stuff. For some reason, it made me feel like utter shit and I didn’t understand why. So, I just shrugged them off and they eventually stopped. I couldn’t sleep that night. Their words just kept echoing in my mind. So, I went to watch the sunrise.
“It was maybe… like, four in the morning. I was still pretty tipsy, but as I sobered up, I just thought about everything that had happened in the night. Then I started thinking about other moments in my life and somehow… something clicked and that’s when I realised I was bi. I’d never felt so at peace before that moment.”
Charlie turned to look at Nick, with wide eyes and parted lips as he took in every word.
“That’s…” Charlie was speechless. “You’ve never told me about that before.”
Nick shrugged and smiled softly. “I’ve never told anyone that before.”
Charlie suddenly had the urge to cry. But instead, he gave Nick a comforting smile and turned back to look at the rising run. He sighed heavily, and rested his head on Nick’s shoulder. This type of affection was normal for them. They love to cuddle each other. But for some reason, Charlie felt a little closer to him at this moment, even more so when Nick turned to press his lips against Charlie’s curls.
Charlie continues to think of that moment from time to time. Even though it was a year ago, it’s forever etched in his brain as one of his top five favourite moments. Sometimes his mind is cruel to him and he thinks about it when he shouldn’t, like at work, or in the middle of a conversation.
“Oi,” Tao snaps, an unamused expression on his face.
Charlie blinks and looks at his other best friends, Tao and Elle. “Huh?”
Tao sighs and lets his head fall onto the table.
“You zoned out again,” Elle says with a sigh.
Charlie blushes. “Sorry.”
They were in the middle of a conversation when something reminded him of Nick and then he thought back to that moment on Primrose Hill.
“You know you should just tell him, right?” Elle asks gently. “You’ve felt this way about him for ages. It’s just gonna hurt even more if you don’t”
Charlie looks away from Elle’s gaze, knowing exactly what she’s referring to. Over time, his love for Nick became less platonic, but then he realised that he’s always loved Nick as something more than a friend, but it just so happened that Nick was his best friend as well, so his true feelings were somewhat hidden.
“Yeah… I know,” Charlie says eventually. “It’s just… hard.”
“Well, get over it. I’m sick of your pining,” Tao grumbles as he lifts his head
“Tao!” Elle scolds.
Charlie just laughs and shakes his head. He needs to figure out how to tell Nick. It’s getting more painful every time they spend time together, especially whenever they’re watching the sun together.
Three weeks later, Charlie still hasn’t told Nick. He’s had plenty of opportunities, but never enough courage to say anything.
And that’s why he finds himself buzzing with nervous energy on that same bench on Primrose Hill with Nick on an early Sunday morning. Nobody is around, probably because they’re all hungover and still asleep. So it’s just Nick and Charlie. It would be the perfect time to say something. But Charlie’s tongue is stuck and heavy in his mouth. So instead, he just takes a sip of tea that Nick provided.
He swallows the liquid slowly, the heat warming his chest and takes a deep breath.
“How do you manage to constantly get up this early? I thought you’d be constantly tired from work,” Charlie says.
Not what he wanted to say… Damn you brain.
Nick just chuckles. “Well, I suppose I’m used to it after all these years. And you know I’m a morning person, so it’s not that surprising.”
Charlie rolls his eyes, causing Nick to chuckle again.
“But also… I would do anything to watch the sun.”
Charlie looks at Nick, watching how his hazel eyes follow the skyline before them.
“You know, I never really appreciated the sun until you started bringing me up here,” Charlie says quietly.
Nick turns to look at Charlie, eyebrows raised slightly and a surprised smile on his face. “Yeah?”
Charlie nods. “Yeah. I’ve always sort of preferred the moon. It’s always there to look at whenever I struggle to sleep.” Charlie then smirks. “Although, I’ve never felt the need to learn everything about it.”
Nick gasps in fake offence and slightly shoves Charlie’s shoulder.
“Don’t act like you hate it,” Nick bites back.
Charlie giggles. “You know I don’t. I find it quite cute actually.”
Charlie freezes slightly, cursing himself for speaking before thinking.
He chances a look at Nick only to see Nick’s cheeks tinge pink.
The pair don’t say anything for a few moments, so Nick clears his throat and sits up properly. “Have I ever told you that sunsets are actually more of an illusion? The sun is already set by the time we see the colours in the sky. It’s just a refraction of the sun because the Earth’s atmosphere bends the sunlight into what we see.”
“That’s pretty cool,” Charlie replies and looks up, his eyes passing over Nick as he takes in the sky again. He can’t help but smile at the excitement evident on Nick's face.
“What about the fact that the reason that the colours are brighter after a rainstorm is because the rain clears away a lot of the air pollutants?”
Charlie bites his lip to stifle a laugh. “You may have mentioned that one before.”
Nick looks down at his shoes. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
“Nick,” Charlie sighs and turns to look at him properly. “You don’t need to be sorry. It’s fine. I love it when you talk about your interests – even when you repeat things. It’s just proof of how much you love it.”
Nick lifts his head again, and his eyes meet Charlie’s. The way he looks at Charlie is so soft, his eyes sparkling with something Charlie’s never seen before. It almost makes Charlie swoon.
Nick smiles and shakes his head, looking back out to the horizon and sighs happily. Charlie sees Nick pull his lips inwards, nibbling on his lower lip, before going back to the sun.
A few minutes pass before Nick speaks again.
“You know… I think I love you more than the sun.”
Charlie’s entire body freezes, with a nervous warmth bubbling in his chest as his heart skips a couple of beats. Then, his brain reminds him that he and Nick say that they love each other. In a platonic way. So he releases that sudden panic with a breath and snorts. “Don’t be ridiculous. That’s such a big statement.”
Then he feels Nick’s larger hand on top of his own, grasping his fingers tightly. He looks up and is met with Nick’s earnest expression, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Charlie, I’m serious,” he says quietly, breathing heavily.
He takes Charlie’s other hand in his and sighs. “I love you, Charlie. Like, proper, full on romantic love. I’m pretty sure I’ve felt this way for years… but I’ve never really known how to tell you.”
“What?” Charlie gasps, his eyebrows shooting upwards.
Nick smiles nervously. “You’ve been my best friend for so long. We’ve been there for each other through so many things. You’ve always accepted me for who I am, never hesitating to help me whenever I’ve had a bad brain day. You helped me feel confident about myself, and I stopped worrying about whether my fixations were annoying or not. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Nobody can compare to you.”
Charlie is gobsmacked. He never expected this in a million years. Everything he feels for Nick, Nick feels about him too. It takes him a few seconds more to register Nick’s words, which causes Nick’s smile to falter a little.
“Charlie?” he asks tentatively. “It’s… okay if you don’t feel the same.”
A breathy laugh suddenly escapes Charlie’s mouth. “Nick, you idiot,” he says affectionately. “Of course I feel the same way. I’ve always loved you.”
A grin overtakes Nick’s face, somehow just as bright as the sun shining down on them. “I love you so much, Charlie,” he breathes.
They giggle together and somehow end up leaning so close that their foreheads rest against each other.
“Nick?” Charlie asks softly.
“Hmm?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Thank god,” Nick whispers. Immediately, one hand comes to cup Charlie’s face and brings their lips together.
They’re still for a few seconds, adjusting to the feel of each other. Then, Charlie moves his lips and Nick responds instantly. Charlie’s hands come up to rest on Nick’s neck, and Nick’s other hand finds its way to Charlie’s waist.
Charlie tries to memorise everything. The warmth against his legs from the sun. The warmth of Nick’s hands on his jaw and the heat passing between their lips. The love that he feels for Nick was once a small flame, but now it’s a roaring fire.
They break apart, both breathless from the kiss, and grin at each other.
Charlie decides that this is now his number one top moment of his life.
Nick loves Charlie more than the sun. Charlie loves Nick more than the moon.
Because of course they do. They’re Nick and Charlie.