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Olivia was happy that Amanda had agreed to take Noah for a few hours so she could have some alone time with Peter. And on a day like today, she really needed it, partially to vent but also because she really needed some hands-on time.
Her entire body was killing her, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could take being out on the streets or at a crime scene running after perpetrators. The fact that she had to stop running to catch her breath should have been a sure sign that she needed to think about spending more time behind her desk. But working for SVU and being out in the field was all she knew. Although she had moved up the ranks over the years, she had never truly stopped being a detective and wanted to feel like she was making a difference. She didn’t get that same feeling pushing papers and giving orders the way Cragen used to.
If only it didn’t come with still being sore and exhausted hours after that run.
“I cannot wait to just sit and relax,” Olivia announced once she and Peter had gotten back to her apartment. “I’m glad you could make it over tonight.”
“Me too. You really sounded like you could use the company, and I didn’t have any plans. Unless sitting at home alone having a beer counts. But I do that every night. Do you want me to open the wine? I know that’s more your thing.”
“No thanks. And you’re right. I know it sounds weird, but I’m actually not in the mood for a drink. All I want to do is sit.” She grabbed her lower back and fell onto the couch, and Peter sat next to her, but refrained from holding her. They were enjoying each other’s company but were still working out whether they should explore something more. He was often hesitant to make any physical contact in case she didn’t feel the same, and he didn’t want to put her under any pressure.
“Look, you can touch me, but please be careful,” she finally said. “I can barely move.”
“Do you need me to take you to the hospital or something?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“No, it’s not that serious; trust me. I did something kind of stupid today, I think. I went running after Brian, and…I had to stop to catch my breath. You’d think after all the physical fitness testing I went through to even get through the academy to begin with that I’d still be in good shape. I guess I’m just not, and it’s really bothering me. I’m not ready to slow down; I still want to keep working. I love what I do, and I don’t know anything else.”
“But you can’t go on like this,” Peter pointed out. “Do you really think you can be effective on the streets if you can’t keep up with a suspect? I’m not trying to say you’re not in shape, but this is how life is. Even in the world of pro sports, guys can’t keep up as much on the field—or the rink, or the court—as they age. The greats retire eventually too.”
“I see what you mean. I’ve always worked myself hard, and I’ve kept going when I shouldn’t. I even stayed at work when Noah was in the hospital and lost a lot of sleep, extending my limits to the point of dehydration. I regret that I wasn’t more devoted to him at that time. My career has always come first, and I’ve tried to balance it better since I adopted him, but it’s been hard. I don’t get why I push myself like this. I believe I’m making a difference, but isn’t it still just a job at the end of the day?
“You probably don’t know what to say,” she added. “One thing we have in common is that we’re both equally devoted to justice, no matter the cost.”
“I don’t. Vent as much as you want, though. I’ll listen.”
“I actually think I’m out of things to say. It did nothing to help my body aches and headache, unfortunately.”
“If talking didn’t help, I think I have some good ideas. Do you need a heating pad or some ice, or just some good old massage?” He smiled, thinking he could get her excited about him taking care of her.
“Oh boy…um, if you could rub my shoulders, that would be great. And yeah, my heating pad is in the bathroom closet. I could use Tylenol, too.”
She laid back on the couch, and when Peter came back, he set down two Tylenol and a glass of water before bringing her the heating pad. “I’ll let you place that where you need to and turn up the heat,” he said. “Unless you want my help.”
“I appreciate it. Yeah, I’m really particular about heating pads and ice, so I’ll figure it out.” She placed it under her aching back before lying back down, and he stood up to start rubbing her shoulders.
“Do you feel any better yet?” he asked.
“You know, if it weren’t for needing that Tylenol, I’d change my mind on that glass of wine, but I don’t want to make things any worse.”
“Coffee or tea?”
“That would be great. But don’t stop what you’re doing for a while.”
She decided that this is exactly what she needed to forget the stress of the day.
Maybe Amanda could even keep Noah for just a little bit longer…