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Yosuke cannot sit still. He's a bundle of nerves, constantly moving around at his desk to get comfortable. The anticipation's killing me... What's taking him so long, anyway?!
He's not alone in his agitation. In fact, the rest of the classroom is abuzz. Chocolates, cards, handmade gifts... they're all passed around the room. As new couples form, he gets the feeling a few others are left disappointed at their recipient's response.
He's hoping desperately that he won't be one of them.
Maybe this was a dumb idea... Is there still time to back out?
No freakin' way there is. Not after what he said.
If he could go back in time and kick his past self, he would without hesitation.
"So, partner," he said, catching Souji's attention as he passed through the crowded hallway.
"What's up?" Souji cocked his head in a funny way. He had a habit of doing that when he was listening to someone talk.
Yosuke didn't used to, but now he's got a bad habit himself. Said bad habit is standing next to him, smiling a barely there smile.
Girls fawn over him.
He used to be jealous of that. He's jealous in a different way now, a way that makes his chest hurt. He knows what it means. He would die if he ever said it.
"You excited for Valentine's Day?"
"Nah. Should I be?"
"Dude, are you for real right now?! You're definitely gonna get a ton of stuff."
Souji stared at him blankly. "...Which means?"
"Which-?! People like you! I bet I won't get anything this year."
"What about Chie-chan and Yukiko-chan? They've given you stuff."
Yosuke scoffed, crossing his arms. "They don't count, man..."
"What about-"
"Teddie doesn't count, either."
"Noted." Souji huffed. "Well, what if I got you something?"
Yosuke felt like he was about to have a heart attack. "Huh? But- ha, partner, you're not a girl."
"Doesn't matter. I'm getting you something for Valentine's Day."
"Wh- Yeah? I'll get you something better, then!"
"Psh."
"Psh?! How dare you. I swear, I'll get you such a great gift you'll fall to the floor crying and say," he cleared his throat, trying to do a Souji impression, " 'Oh, my God, Yosuke! This is the best gift I've ever gotten,' and do my homework for a week."
Souji rolled his eyes. "You just want me to do your homework."
"No! Well. Maybe."
"Fine. But if I win..."
And then he said nothing. Yosuke would have called his expression mysterious, but, well, Souji always looked a little mysterious anyway.
"If you win, what?"
His smile grew. "You'll find out."
"If you win?"
"Actually, when I win."
With that, Souji went downstairs.
"I'm gonna win, you hear me! You're gonna grovel!"
He got a few weird looks, but it would all be worth it when he won.
Yeah, great and all, except... picking a gift that would make Souji Seta grovel... was pretty hard.
He had brainstormed for a few days. When he started running out of time, though, he finally worked up the nerve to ask around.
Yukiko had laughed a bit longer than necessary. Chie shook her head in annoyance. "Man, you gotta stop getting yourself into situations like this."
"Look, it's stupid, okay? But my pride! Think about my pride."
Chie snorted. "Oh, buddy. Your pride died a long time ago."
"Can't you help me?"
"Well, there's one way."
"Yeah?" He perked up immeditely.
"I could be bribed."
"With meat?"
"Oh, yeah." She nodded, smiling gleefully.
Without much of a choice otherwise, he sighed. "Wanna go to Souzai Daigaku after school?"
"Sold."
That's how they ended up across from each other at a picnic table. The February air was chilly, so Yosuke wrapped a scarf around his chin. "Can we hurry this up? Kinda freezing my ass off over here..."
"Yeah, yeah." She began to eat. After swallowing her first bite, she set down her skewer. "Chocolate."
Yosuke's jaw dropped. "You're kidding? That's all you've got?"
"That's all I've got."
"Chocolate."
"Well, it's easy, right? You just melt it and then cut it up. Ooh, or you could make chocolate shapes?"
"Shapes...?" He hadn't actually thought of that.
"Yep! You could find a mold and pour the chocolate into that, right?"
At least it was something. "Yeah, actually. Thanks, Chie."
So off he went to Junes to buy a chocolate mold. Since it was getting dangerously close to Valentine's, they had already sold out of quite a bit. He chose chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, and red food dye.
That night, he made chocolate. Well, he damn well tried his best.
The results were okay. Not good, not bad. He had misjudged the time the molds had to set, so some of the chocolate was shaped weird, or had mixed colors. Yosuke looked at the final product again: one batch regular, one batch pink, one batch red.
They were all candy hearts.
At first, he had cringed at the mold, but it's not like they had any chocolate katana molds. Even if he did, he didn't trust his chocolate making abilities enough for something flimsy like that.
Seriously, where is he?
Speak of the devil, and he appears. Souji came into the classroom, a shopping bag in his hand. He set it down on Yosuke's desktop. "Open it. I hope you'll like it."
Gulping nervously, he reached down into the bag.
The moment of truth...!
His fingers found a slim, plastic case. Confused, Yosuke pulled it out to have a look at it. "No way, a CD!"
"Yep."
"Wait, wasn't this edition sold out?"
"Waited in line for it."
"Wh- no way! This sold out, like, a month... ago..."
Wait. Wait, what?
"When did you buy this?"
"When it came out." Souji shrugged, but his casual attitude couldn't hide the grin slowly forming on his face.
"You planned this that far ahead?"
"Hey, I never said I wouldn't get you anything. Weren't you the one who made the bet?"
"I- Ngh...!" Slamming his head into his desk felt real appealing all of a sudden. Chie and Yukiko shot him concerned glances, and their pity stung.
"By the way, what did you get me?"
"Huh? Oh... Nothing special." Digging around in his school bag, he passed Souji the cellophane bag.
Souji was quiet. Really quiet. Not in the way he usually was, a way that seemed cool. A way that seemed... surprised, maybe?
"Did you... make these? For me?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry they don't look super good-"
"You win."
"What?"
"You win. I'll do your homework."
Strangely, Yosuke didn't really care much about the homework anymore.
On the walk home, he nudged Souji's arm with his elbow. "Hey. What was your prize?"
"Mm. Not important."
"Hey, come on! I wanna know what it was."
"Do you really wanna know?"
"Uh, yeah. I said so, didn't I?" Is it just me, or is he a lot closer right now?
"Hm, okay." Souji stretched his arms over his head. One hand went behind Yosuke's back, landing on his shoulder. "I was gonna ask you out."
"Okay, yeah, I-"
...
"WHAT?"
Souji was gonna ask me out? Why? Is he gay? Oh God, how did I not know he was gay? Shit, does he think I'm gay? Nah, there's no way...
The question. That damn question. It came back. What if you are gay?
Yosuke knows there's nothing wrong with gay people. Kanji's gay. Naoto's gay. They're pretty normal, nice guys when you get down to it.
So then why...?
Why does his heart want to leap out of his chest? Why does he want to be as far away from gay as possible?
Yosuke's eyes feel wet. No, not here! He cannot let himself cry here, on the path through the flood plains.
"Yosuke," says a far away voice. Gently, two hands shake his shoulders. Liquid flows down his cheeks. "Hey. Yosuke?"
"It's just sleet," he insists, the most bold-faced lie he's ever uttered.
"No, it's not."
"No, it's not," Yosuke repeats. He can't meet Souji's eyes.
"Hey, look at me. Please?"
Finally, Yosuke relents.
"I didn't mean to upset you by saying that."
"...Did you mean it?"
Souji swallows hard. Yosuke can see it in the way his throat moves. "Yes."
Somehow, Yosuke cries more. "...Why?"
"I like you." Souji says it plainly, as if it's the most obvious fact in the universe. Yosuke feels uprooted by it, though.
This can't be real!
"I like you, so please, stop crying... If you want, you can forget this ever happened."
"No!" He shouts, and the noise scares him. He didn't think, the word just... came out.
Souji's hair is dripping from the sleet. He shivers.
"I don't wanna forget," he continues. "Don't you get it?" Yosuke trails off, and his face... he feels miserable. "I'm scared."
"I've got your back."
"Huh?"
"If anyone has a problem with Kanji or Naoto, do I let them go on about it? No. I speak up. Why do you think you would be any different? I'm not gonna throw you under the bus. You promised. We're in this together."
Souji grasps his hands in both of his, squeezing them. Yosuke looks at him. Just looks, taking a minute to read his features.
This is Serious Souji. He hasn't seen him look this way in a while, not since Izanami. Not since he left town and came back for good.
Yosuke can feel his pulse pounding in his veins. All of his senses are overwhelmed. Finally, he manages, "Let's... call it a draw. Yeah?"
"Huh?" Souji's caught off guard, completely surprised by this turn of events.
"That way we both get what we want, right? ...That is what you want, right?"
"What do you want, though?"
"I dunno... But it would sure be nice if you'd help me figure it out."
They go to the movies in Okina the next week. Their hands graze on the chair arm between them. Yosuke feels his face burn. He wraps his sweaty palm around Souji's. It makes sense, somehow.
He gets absorbed in the movie, but at the back of his mind is their hands, holding each other, supporting each other without one word.