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“Tell me why ya like this.”
Years ago that would have been enough to start another argument. With youth comes insecurity and for Leonardo, that one sentence carried two offenses. The first, being questioned for his reasons. The second, not even the courtesy of a question but a demand. But in time he has grown as a leader. And a lover.
Besides, the person asking already knew the answer. In fact, he was the one who helped him discover it.
“I give you control… because I love you.”
He felt a rumble on his throat, both through lips and teeth. “Yer such a sap. Now,” he moved to his shoulder and bit firmly. “Tell me the real reason why ya like this.”
“I let you take control. I do love you,” the leader huffed before the teeth bit down harder as a warning… but also encouragement.
This is part of the dance. He spent his entire life fighting for control that even when he wasn’t fooling the one person who knew better, he still felt pressured to keep up appearances that he would not relinquish any of it without force. To willingly give up something he clutched desperately to for decades… well, he was still young and had more maturing to do.
“Because… I need this.” The teeth stayed in place, neither sinking in or lifting up. “I need you.”
“Tell me why ya need me, Leo,” he growled, the pressure increased and he could feel a drop of blood seep out. The breaking of skin broke what resolve he had left as he groaned, sinking into the sensations he had succumbed to.
The blindfold over his eyes, taking away his sense of sight.
The collar around his neck, limiting his voice and freedom of movement.
The restraints clasped his ankles, preventing him from escaping or running away.
The handcuffs connecting his wrists together, restricting his ability to hold on for control.
Here he was neither leader nor lover, he just existed. It was almost like visiting the astral plane but far more real; here all of his senses were heightened. But even more importantly, he was not alone to navigate the darkness. There was no wandering around aimlessly looking for answers. He was no longer lost, not with the one person who fiercely protected those he cared for with reckless abandon. But he would not abandon him, he loved him most. His fire burned brightly, the light that led them both out of their personal darkness.
Raphael had described his darkness as suffocating, as if he were buried in the depths of a volcano. But for Leonardo it was different, his darkness was cold and frozen as if he were locked away in the part of an iceberg that was submerged underwater. So not only had the other shined upon him the way out but also radiated a warmth to melt him down, thaw him out, and keep him warm.
He could feel the blood start to trickle down his shoulder. He could smell the distinct scent, something that he was all too familiar with. As if sensing his reverie, Raphael licked along the red path—another warm and titillating sensation—and briefly kissed him. Now he could taste the metallic copper liquid. For all the senses that were deprived, more flooded in to take their place. There is a saying that the universe doesn’t like a void…
Years ago that would have been enough to start another argument. With youth comes insecurity and for Raphael, that length of silence was maddening. Although it was not a question, he was still asking for a response. Not once, not twice, but thrice. But in time he has grown as an individual. And a lover.
Besides, he already knew the answer. He was the one who discovered it. It took a little patience and a lot of understanding…
A deep sigh was released underneath him. “I need you, Raphael, to help me let go of my compulsion to control. To ease the burden I feel trying to be everything perfect. I give you all my trust, relinquishing my role as your leader and being vulnerable as your lover instead. I am yours to command mind, body, and soul.”
Soothing licks covered the bite mark and a low growl asked—this time, in the form of a question, “and how do ya feel, Fearless?”
“Free,” he sighed in contentment.