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“How long have you been in the industry, Jimin?” 

Jimin glances up, meeting the gaze of the man addressing her. He is a distinguished figure, dressed impeccably in a tailored suit, his demeanour exuding confidence and authority. She offers him a warm smile, masking the turmoil churning within her. 

“About to be five years, Sir.” She replies, her voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling beneath the surface. Why wouldn’t she be? Standing in front of her now is one of the important stakeholders for her company. When you’re working in finance, there are a lot of people you should take note of. One of them is Eugene Chow, the managing director of the biggest investment house in Korea, Solidrun. “I have been with Kookmin since I first started.”

As she speaks, her gaze drifts momentarily to the crowd around them. The gala dinner is in full swing, the air alive with the hum of conversation and the clink of glasses. Yet amidst the opulence and glamour, Jimin feels strangely detached, as though she is merely an observer in her own life. 

Jimin feels her vice president’s hand resting on her back. Mrs. Lee continues talking to Eugene. “She has been under my care since she first started. That’s why she’s the cluster head for her division now. Dedicated and hardworking.” 

She senses a note of pride evident in her tone. She feels a swell of gratitude towards her boss, appreciative of the recognition for her years of service and commitment to the company. 

“I can see that very well. I have heard a lot about you. Yu Jimin’s name is everywhere.” Eugene chimes in. He puts his glass down and reaches for his business card. Jimin takes a second to look at the piece of namecard in between his two fingers. “Juhyun has my contact information already. You don’t.” 

She looks over to Mrs. Lee from the corner of her eyes to reconfirm, then accepts the business card from his hand. The conversation continues, shifting from the topic of her to talking about how the investment landscape is different in Singapore where he used to manage before he came to Korea a year ago. 

Just then, Jimin feels her phone vibrating inside of her Senat pouch. 

[20:33] Ji Seunghyun: You might wanna come over to our table since you look like you wanna run away from talking to your bosses
[20:33] Ji Seunghyun: Plus I wanna introduce you to someone who works directly under Eugene
[20:33] Ji Seunghyun: Table 12, right side near the PA system

[20:34] Yu Jimin: Coming through in a few

Jimin slowly empties her champagne glass. She waits for the right moment in between their conversation to excuse herself. “Boss, Mr. Eugene, I shall excuse myself to meet my clients from Woori.” 

“I’ll see you around, Jimin.” Eugene waves her off. 

As she steps away from the table, she takes a moment to compose herself. Seunghyun is a client who she has developed a close rapport with over the years, their professional relationship bordering on friendship. Jimin deals most comfortably with clients from Woori Bank, especially Seunghyun since she brings Jimin out for lunch often as their office buildings are near in the city. 

Jimin weaves her way through the throng of guests, her senses heighten by the pulsating energy of the room. Finally reaching the corner of the room where she agrees to meet Seunghyun, Jimin scans the crowd once again to search for the familiar face of her client. 

Amidst the cacophony of noise and movement, her gaze lands on a figure that sends a jolt of recognition coursing through her veins. The elegant melody of the orchestra sweeps through the grand hall, the soft glow of chandeliers illuminating the opulent surroundings—yet amidst the refined atmosphere of the dinner, there is one thing Jimin couldn't ignore: Kim Minjeong standing at table 12 with Seunghyun and her colleagues.

-

Jimin stays professional. 

She finally walks over to their table. She can't help but feel a sense of trepidation washing over her. She had taken a moment in the ladies' to gather her thoughts, to remind herself of the professional setting she is in, but the memories of her past with Minjeong lingers stubbornly in her mind. 

Despite the years that have passed since their breakup, Jimin still feels a pang of sadness whenever she thinks of Minjeong. It has been four long years, yet the wounds in her heart feel as fresh as ever. She has tried to move on, to bury herself in her work and focus on building her career, but there are moments like this—unexpected encounters with Minjeong—that bring all the pain rushing back in one gush.

With each step she takes towards the table, Jimin feels her heart tugging, a mixture of longing and regret swirling inside her. She couldn't help but wonder what could have been if things had turned out differently between them. But she knew better than to dwell on the past, especially in a setting like this. But why exactly is Minjeong here at the gala dinner when she works as computer forensics analyst with the KNPA? 

Taking a deep breath, Jimin squares her shoulders and plasters a polite smile on her face. She reminds herself that she was here to network, to further her career and strengthen her connections in the industry. Whatever unresolved feelings she has for Minjeong would have to be pushed aside for now.

(Minjeong never fails to tell Jimin one thing ever since she started working with Kookmin. 

“You should build up your name. Working is all about networking.” Minjeong traces Jimin’s hand, her eyes still set on the road. They’re a few blocks from Jimin’s office building. 

Jimin hums. She turns her head to look at Minjeong. There is nothing but sincerity shown on her face. She wonders if Minjeong ever felt like she is not prioritising their relationship over work. “Minjeong, I have a question.”

Minjeong nods, cueing her to continue with what she wants to ask. She slows down and stops at the traffic light.

“Why do you always tell me to build up my own name?” Minjeong hums questionably, not understanding where Jimin is coming from. Looking at how Minjeong is genuinely confused, Jimin continues. “I’m just curious. You know I feel guilty most of the time when I have to take a raincheck on dinners, movie nights and all. But you tell me that I should be building up my name and you tell me everything is fine.”

Jimin sees Minjeong’s lips curling up to a smile. “Ah, that. I knew you would ask me that someday.”

Minjeong takes her time before giving her an answer. “I’m sure you understand that we’re both adults and working for a living, right?”

Jimin looks at Minjeong, nodding to let her know that she’s listening. Minjeong takes it as a gesture to continue. “I know you’ll feel guilty, so in a way I would need to reassure you that everything will be fine. Before you met me in uni, you built your name until you’re the vice president of LEA. I don’t want to be the reason why you’re restricting yourself to not do the same when you’re in the industry now.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re not needed when I’m working.” Jimin trails off. Minjeong understands where she is coming from. She knows that Jimin is just afraid if she feels like she isn’t important anymore, considering the time they spent together when they were both unemployed after graduating.

“I know. You don’t have to worry about me. I will always be supporting you in everything you do.” Minjeong gives off a chuckle so Jimin doesn’t feel too heavy about this. “Don’t let me be the one who weighs you down from climbing up.” )

Jimin shrugs her thoughts aside. Seunghyun sees Jimin walking over and raises up her hand. She calls her out, her voice cutting through the din of the gala. “Yu Jimin!” 

She waves her hands as she navigates through the crowd. 

“How are you enjoying the night?” Jimin asks as she reaches the table, her tone bright. 

Seunghyun nods. “Good. Doesn’t it seem like it’s merrier this year than last year’s gala dinner?” 

Jimin agrees. “They invited the subsidiaries from some companies too like HCA London and a few investment houses. I was talking to Eugene Chow earlier.”

“Talking about him, I want to introduce you to these two.” Seunghyun points to Minjeong and the man she is standing next to. Jimin doesn’t dare to look into Minjeong’s eyes yet, but she still bows her head a little in respect. “This is Lee Dohyun, data analyst for Solidrun.” 

Dohyun gives her a boxy smile, his hand reaching out for a handshake. “Hello, Yu Jimin. I was there during your talk for Blooming. Nice meeting you in person.” 

She shakes his hand out of courtesy. Jimin finally remembers his face now that he has mentioned the Blooming talk. No wonder she feels like she has seen him somewhere before. “Were you the one sitting with Yuri that day?” 

Dohyun nods. “You might have not recognised me earlier because I was dirty blonde back then.” 

He retreats his hand and that leaves Jimin with greeting Minjeong properly. Seunghyun diverts their attention to Minjeong. “And this is Kim Minjeong. She is the new leader for the IT Business Analysis department. She is the one I wanted to tell you about reporting directly to Eugene. No dotted lines at all.” 

Jimin finally takes a proper look at Minjeong. The woman in front of her is literally giving her a smile, one that makes Jimin feel like she is back to square one. “We meet again, Jimin. Good to see you again.” 

The fuck? She’s gonna out us like this? Jimin keeps herself calm. “It has been quite some time.” She thinks about how she should tell them if one of them asks how they know each other. 

As what she has expected, Dohyun nudges Minjeong. He turns to look at her with such interest, surprised that his leader knows her. “You two met before, Minjeong?”

“We went to the same uni.” She explains, her gaze briefly meeting Jimin’s before returning to Dohyun. “It’s always nice to run into familiar faces.”

Jimin offers a small nod of agreement, keeping her expression neutral despite the memories that threaten to resurface at Minjeong’s words. Jimin lets go of Minjeong’s hand first, the feeling of cold metal against her hand fading away. She notices Minjeong wears a few accessories on her right hand.

“She used to work with KNPA under Computer Forensics. She moved to Solidrun on the first of Jan.” Dohyun boasts about his team leader. Minjeong just laughs, her right hand slapping his left shoulder. “You don’t have to show me off, Dohyun.”

Seunghyun rolls her eyes. “Obviously he has to. It’s rare to meet someone with credentials like yours in the industry.”

She doesn’t know what she has gotten herself into but Jimin finds herself gradually relaxing in the warmth of their shared conversation as the conversation meanders through various topics, momentarily alleviating the weight of unresolved emotions that had lingered at the back of her mind. She listens as Seunghyun regales them with tales of office intrigue and personal drama, her anecdotes punctuated by bursts of laughter and exclamations of disbelief. 

But as the evening wears on and the clock ticks closer towards midnight, Jimin becomes increasingly aware of the need to make her exit. She glances at her watch, noting the time with a subtle furrow of her brow.

"I hate to break up the party, but I should probably be making a move." Jimin says, offering an apologetic smile to her companions.

Dohyun looks at her curiously. "How are you getting back?"

Jimin considers her options for a moment before replying. "I'll just call a midnight cab."

Seunghyun frowns. "Why didn't you drive today?"

Jimin shrugs, offering an explanation. "I knew I'd be drinking, so I'd rather not take any chances."

Before anyone else can respond, Dohyun speaks up unexpectedly. "Actually, Minjeong brought a car tonight. She’s going to send me back, so why don't you join us, Jimin?"

Minjeong's eyes widen imperceptibly at Dohyun's suggestion, a fleeting look of surprise crossing her features before she quickly masks it with a polite smile. But Jimin catches the subtle shift in her expression, the hint of uncertainty that belies her outward composure.

Seunghyun nods in agreement. "That sounds like a good idea. Are you okay with it, Minjeong?"

Minjeong hesitates for a moment before replying with a casual shrug. "Yeah, sure. Plus, it's probably safer than going back alone in a cab at this hour."

Jimin watches Minjeong carefully, sensing the underlying tension beneath her casual facade. She knows that look—the guarded expression that masks a multitude of emotions—and she can't help but wonder what thoughts are swirling behind Minjeong's composed exterior.

She thinks she might be taking advantage of wanting to be with Minjeong but she accepts the offer, nevertheless. 

-

Jimin finds herself in the shotgun seat of Minjeong’s Jeep. 

Dohyun is a bundle of excitement. He insists for Jimin to sit in front because he’s going to be dropped off first, so Minjeong doesn’t have to be sitting alone like a driver when he gets off later. He yaps and never stops yapping since they got in the car. 

Jimin realises nothing has changed. 

The moment she settles herself in the seat, she realises that Minjeong still uses the same car freshener as a four years back. Yikes. Jimin presses her lips tightly to the thought. A part in her heart wants to believe that Minjeong has never really moved on, but Jimin respects her as a human being and a past lover. If Minjeong says nothing, then she won’t believe in anything. 

Minjeong treats her normally. She offers Jimin some Haribo gummy bears that she has kept in the car for snacking. Again, Jimin overthinks. It’s some basic human decency and etiquette, no? Dohyun and Minjeong involve her in their conversation although it’s a short 10-minute ride to his place. The guy wastes no time on trying to get to know her, asking her questions about her life before she started working with Kookmin and how life was during her university days. Minjeong joins in, helping her to answer a few questions that she thinks Jimin has problems answering because obviously some of the questions indirectly involve Minjeong too such as any flings during her uni days or any classes they shared together. 

“I hope I will be seeing you around, Jimin. Thank you for the ride, Minjeong. I’ll see you on Tuesday.” Dohyun thanks her, reclining back the driver seat for Minjeong to climb over. Minjeong holds the driver’s side door, her hand securing his head from hitting the door from bowing down. 

“I won’t be in on Tuesday though. I applied for WFH until Wednesday.” Minjeong tells him. Dohyun just shrugs, motioning her for a phone call anytime. She nods and climbs back into her Jeep. 

Jimin only has her eyes on Minjeong. She stares at how Minjeong pulls herself up to her seat, how she immediately locks the doors once she shuts hers, how the seatbelt clicks while she adjusts the strap against her. One of the reasons she accepts the offer of going back with Minjeong is because she just wants to talk. She is sure Minjeong knows what she has up her sleeves too. 

“You wanna play anything?” Minjeong asks, her hand holding her phone up with Spotify open. Jimin shakes her head. Minjeong nods and attaches her phone back on the phone holder. Jimin expects her to open the maps, but she doesn’t. Minutes in, the car is still silent with only Minjeong’s playlist in the background. Jimin counts that it would be another 20 minutes until they reach her home. 

Minjeong decides to break the silence. “So, how are you?” 

Jimin shifts her gaze from the highway to Minjeong. She doesn’t expect Minjeong to ask first, as she has been thinking about how she should be breaking the tension in the car. “Ah, I’ve been good. A bit busy since I’ve been promoted recently.”

“I know. I’ve heard a lot.” Minjeong chuckles before she continues. “I didn’t expect the market would be spreading shit like wildfire. I found out about your promotion the same day you found out about it.” 

Well, there is a truth to that. The market does spread news fast, since almost everyone knows one another. “Sounds unfair that I just found out you’re in the industry a few hours ago.” 

Minjeong shrugs, her right hand changing the gear. “I’m not trying to catch your attention though. I just simply got a better deal than working with the CFs.” 

“How did your boss react when you told him about your move?” Jimin still remembers how Minjeong’s past boss loved her during her days with the police agency. Though she was a newcomer, he would always consider her opinions and how she wants to approach the cases since he believed freshies have different ways of thinking.  

“Oh–you remember Mr. Yang?” Minjeong sounds surprised that she still remembers. She juts her lips out, thinking about what his reaction was when she told him during their lunch. “I think he kinda guessed it already. He told me he would’ve loved to have me around longer but he knows I wanted to have more things in my portfolio.” 

Jimin hums. She understands how Mr. Yang felt (although it’s not correlated in any way but she just feels like she understands) when Minjeong decided to leave. It feels ironic to Jimin, somehow. Minjeong shoots out another question when she realises Jimin is not going to say anything.

“How are you after all these years? Have you been okay?” Jimin looks at Minjeong questionably. Really? Minjeong is really trying to dig out whatever she felt in a life without her? 

“No ill intentions. I’m not trying to rub anything in your face. I’m genuinely curious.” Minjeong defends. Minjeong can feel the glare Jimin has on her.

They stop at another red light. Jimin sighs out. “It took time for the feelings to feel bearable.” 

Minjeong smiles. Somehow, Jimin notices that the smile she has on her face is not one that shows comfort. She takes Minjeong silence as another cue for her to talk. 

“I know Aeri updates you from time to time. She asked me for permission.” Jimin admits. 

“Oh, so you know.” Minjeong feels guilty. She thinks that she is playing it childish by asking how Jimin has been from time to time when she was the one who ended things. 

“I asked Yizhuo about you too but then I decided to stop.” She tells Minjeong.

“Why?” Minjeong asks.

“You’re never really transparent with your feelings. You’ve always been the one keeping it.” Jimin says. In a way, Minjeong understands why Jimin just decided to stop asking. Yizhuo has always told her if Jimin asked about her but she realised that after a few times, she never does anymore. Minjeong did hope she continued asking Yizhuo but who was she to wish it would happen? 

“Do you want to start over?” Minjeong wants to slam herself against the steering wheel for having such courage to ask. It’s either she gains all, or loses all. She doesn’t know why she decides to ask Jimin for another chance too. 

Jimin scoffs. “You’re being unreasonable. Do you think everything can go back to the way it was?” 

Minjeong denies. She musters up everything in her body to finally look at Jimin instead of the road. “Don’t get me wrong.”

She sees Jimin clutching her pouch tighter. “I’m not in the mood to argue. I’ll listen to what you have to say.” 

If Jimin is the one driving, she would have stopped the car and asked Minjeong to get down. But the thing is now, she is the one in the passenger seat in Minjeong’s goddamn car. She can’t pinpoint the reasons why she wants to do that either. The way Minjeong asks is just too welcoming to her, but Jimin doesn’t want to jump into Minjeong’s arms just because Minjeong asks her to. She just thinks that it’s not something she should be doing, especially after seeing the one she has always been longing for after years.

“I know I was wrong when I gave up on us without discussing it with you first. But I had my reasons, and I’m sure you know why too.” Minjeong starts off. Jimin realises that she was supposed to take a right turn but Minjeong stays on the left lane and goes straight towards the way to the Hangang.

“There was nothing we could do anymore. Both of us would be feeling burdened by each other. I remember you told me this too.” Jimin mumbles, clear enough for Minjeong to catch her words. She sees Minjeong nodding from the corner of her eye. She waits for Minjeong to continue.

“I know you were really hurt. It hurt me too, but look at where it took us now. We’re doing so well in our careers. We were there when everything was perfect, but it gradually became something we couldn’t afford to face together anymore.” Minjeong trails off. She gives a signal to the right and stops at the side of the bridge. Jimin turns her head to look into Minjeong’s eyes. 

“I’m going to tell you things from my perspective. When I left you, I lost you as a lover. But there’s more to it. I lost a friend too. We were friends before we became lovers. You encouraged me during my first stage with the band. You were there for me during my last. You sat beside me in stats classes because you wanted my answers. You handed me your yoghurts while I gave you my sunny sides.” Minjeong pauses, taking in a deep breath before she holds Jimin’s hand on her thigh. “You were a friend to me before you were anything else.” 

Jimin could only bite her inner cheeks, her tears streaming down slowly. She knows she looks like a crybaby in front of Minjeong, after years they haven’t met. This is the first time she sees Minjeong expressing her feelings like this. She has never seen this side of hers before, not even when they were together. Their relationship had always been about her. Minjeong never lets it be about herself. It’s always about Jimin. 

If Minjeong tells her to come back to her, she would run to her.

With trembling lips, Jimin finally asks. “Tell me, Minjeong. What are you expecting out of this conversation?” 

It doesn’t even take Minjeong a second to answer her. “I don’t expect a full closure, if you’re not ready yet. I’m just letting you know that I cherished you and I’d love to have you as a friend, again.” 

Minjeong wants to wipe the tears off Jimin’s cheeks, like how she would always do whenever she finds Jimin crying back then. She has to hold herself together now that she knows she shouldn’t be taking advantage of the situation they are both in currently.

“Can you give me time? I feel like this is too much to comprehend tonight.” Jimin negotiates. Minjeong means well, she knows that. It’s just that she wants to take some time to think before giving her an answer. Everything just comes too fast for her. She feels like she should talk to Aeri about this, although she knows Aeri would probably tell her to follow what she thinks her heart wants. I don’t know what I actually want from this. Jimin rests her head against the headrest. 

Minjeong just smiles, again. Jimin can feel Minjeong getting ready to drive her home just by the sound of her fidgeting with the brake. “It’s okay, I understand. I wasn’t expecting everything to be settled by tonight. Telling you my intentions is enough for me, at least you know.”

Jimin murmurs. “You probably expected something out of this.”

She hears Minjeong let out a snicker. “I wouldn’t be telling you all this if I’m not.” 

Guess that’s another thing that never changed about you. Jimin loved how Minjeong would always lighten any situations with her remarks, like how she just did. She just giggles softly, her head still pounding from the crying. “You left me when I was crying, now you came back and the first thing you did is make me cry again?” 

“I’m sorry, Jimin.” Minjeong steers into a u-turn. She looks at Jimin, finding the woman looking at her for god knows how long it has been. “But didn’t I come to grab my things after that? Technically, you were not crying.” 

Jimin rolls her eyes. “Please remember you’re still on probation. I haven’t given you an answer yet.” 

The ride continues in silence, once again accompanied by Minjeong’s playlist. Jimin feels like it’s dejavu, at least she doesn’t feel like she can cut the tension in the air with a knife anymore. Jimin takes solace in Minjeong’s presence next to her. She doesn’t realise Minjeong has stopped the car in front of the dropoff area. She observes how Minjeong gets out of the car to open the door for her because she forgot that the door is on child-lock. Minjeong reasons out that it’s because she always picks up her nephew whenever her sister-in-law isn’t around, and she normally rides her bike to work. She looks at Minjeong as she kneels down and turns the knob to deactivate the child-lock mode, ushering her out the Jeep. She takes note of how attentive Minjeong is, as if she hasn’t always been. 

Minjeong walks with her until they reach the entrance. “Do you have my number?” She asks. 

Jimin nods. “I think I do.” 

Minjeong gives her a thumbs up. “I changed into a new phone last year, so I don’t have yours.”

She arches an eyebrow. “So are you asking me for mine?”

Minjeong just shakes her head. She points her index finger to her head. “I still remember yours. You’re welcomed to text me once you have your answer though.” 

Jimin gives her a smile. She looks at Minjeong once again in the eyes. She finds her heart beating way faster than it should have. Jimin feels nervous, somehow. She remembers this is how Minjeong used to look at her. Her eyes never left hers, except that now she doesn’t feel Minjeong’s arms around her. Even after all these years, Jimin still longs for Minjeong. She curses herself for being so weak when it comes to her, but what can she do if the love never really faded? She was right after all. She would run back to Minjeong if she ever asks. 

(“Do you think I would crumble down if I see her properly again?” Jimin asks Aeri. She sips on the rootbeer float in the crocodile mug. Aeri gives the most disgusted face ever, along with a sassy the fuck before she answers Jimin.

“Miss girl–you would not even be asking me if you’re looking at yourself through my eyes.” Aeri emphasises. “But honestly, I think you know the answer. I know you know what to do though. I don’t think you would let your guard fall that easily.”)

Minjeong leaves shortly after Jimin argues that she should be leaving first, if not Minjeong would’ve wanted to wait for her to get on the lift first. She watches her Jeep driving away from the dropoff area until it’s completely out of her sight. 

Jimin doesn’t miss to notice that Minjeong still wears the same perfume as she did a few years ago. 

-

Minjeong grew up in a family where love was meant to be expressed through actions rather than words. 

In her household, affection was shown through small gestures: a warm meal prepared with care, a comforting hug after a long day, or a silent understanding in times of need. It wasn't that her family lacked love or warmth; rather, they simply had their own way of showing it.

Her parents, hardworking and reserved, had always prioritised their family's needs before their own. They worked tirelessly to provide for Minjeong and her brother, putting aside their own ambitions and dreams for the sake of their children's future. Their love was unequivocal, reflected by their dedication and selflessness.

Growing up in this milieu, Minjeong learned the importance of actions above words. She recognised that love was not always expressed verbally, but rather through regular actions of kindness and support. This upbringing affected her view of relationships, establishing in her a strong feeling of loyalty, commitment, and dedication.

Despite the lack of overt expressions of affection, Minjeong's family was tightly knit, bound together by unspoken bonds of love and understanding. They may not have been vocal about their feelings, but their actions spoke volumes, creating a foundation of trust and security that Minjeong carried with her into adulthood.

However, Minjeong finds herself thinking that mayhaps she should learn that love works in other ways too.

-

Yizhuo bats an eye on Minjeong. She thinks about how after all these years, Minjeong has never really moved on. As a friend, she has tried everything to help Minjeong. Time to time, she asks Aeri how Jimin is doing, whether she is doing the same like how Minjeong is. 

(“Don’t you ever wanna go find someone else?” Yizhuo asks.

Minjeong looks to her side, chuckling as if Yizhuo just told her something ridiculous. “They would be a rebound if I do.”

They still have at least 20 minutes until they reach Calais. Yizhuo has been in control of the aux since they started at Folkestone. Whoops. Half intentionally she puts on one of Minjeong and Jimin’s favourite songs. 

“Do you love her to death?” Yizhuo looks at her, grinning. “Looks like you do.”

Minjeong keeps quiet for a bit. She seems like she’s thinking of the best way to say it. “Speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.”

“Why does it seem like you’re the philosophy bitch here instead of me?” Yizhuo has shock plastered all over her face. She doesn’t know what Jimin has done to her stoic, introverted best friend but she is definitely cringing on what she just heard coming out from Minjeong’s mouth.

“I was only telling you what I think?” Minjeong asks her back. Is she for real? She doesn’t think what she just said is crazy?) 

Yizhuo looks up to Minjeong. Minjeong seems to be watching the movie just fine. No unusual expression on her face. She doesn’t look like her head is empty but why does Minjeong start spurting random shit out her mouth?

“Minjeong.” Yizhuo calls her out. 

Minjeong shifts her eyes to Yizhuo, who has her head on her lap. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Are you serious about wanting to be friends with her again?” She asks. It’s not like Yizhuo doesn’t support Minjeong’s decision, it’s just that she has seen a lot from Minjeong after their breakup. Yizhuo doesn’t want to see Minjeong in that state ever again. 

A lot has happened since they broke up four years ago. Aeri stays friends with Yizhuo, after consulting with both Jimin and Minjeong because they both know that it’s not appropriate to break Yizhuo and Aeri’s friendship either. Yizhuo doesn’t stay on anyone’s side, but she doesn’t leave Minjeong. Heck, even when Yizhuo broke up with Ellis, she didn’t feel the unfathomable pain with the model like how Minjeong does with Jimin. She knows what Minjeong is like after all the years she has been with her. The breakup took a heavy toll on her, no shit. Yizhuo found herself sitting against the door of Minjeong’s bedroom after she came back from work, just to make sure Minjeong’s cries died down. Sometimes it resorted her to holding Minjeong to sleep, though she knew Minjeong wouldn’t like to mention anything about it the morning after. Minjeong dreams of disappearing in Jimin’s soul.

“You know how I feel better than myself, Yizhuo.” Minjeong utters. She fidgets while playing with Yizhuo’s bun, her eyes continue watching how the drama unravels. 

Yizhuo crosses her arms. “You opened up a lot about this that I feel scared you might get hurt again.” 

Minjeong laughs. “I feel like I can deal with it way better now that I’ve matured a lot. I also think that maybe the way I loved her didn’t suit us well.”

“Maturing is subjective, Minjeong.” She replies. Minjeong just nods. 

They continue watching the drama until the credits roll out. Yizhuo gets up with their mugs to place them in the sink. She hears Minjeong stopping her. 

“Tell me honestly, Yizhuo. Do you think I should let her in again?” Minjeong asks her. She knows deep down Minjeong wants her to agree. She understands that Minjeong is taking the chance she has in front of her. 

“I’m gonna ask you this. Are you expecting something else out of this friendship you’re pursuing?” Yizhuo shoots her question. She sees Minjeong’s eyes fluttering, a flicker of surprise crossing her expression. 

Minjeong takes a while before she replies to Yizhuo’s question, just like how she expects. She knows she needs to put Minjeong in a spot so Minjeong can say what she has in mind. That’s the only way Yizhuo can slap some sense into Minjeong’s head. “Yes.” 

Yizhuo nods, telling Minjeong that she understands where she is coming from. “In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.”

-

Aeri has seen it all. 

Aeri has seen everything that Jimin becomes after the breakup. It would be a lie if Aeri says that she wasn’t sad when they did, especially when two of her friends parted ways with each other from the friend group of four. Yizhuo still texts her frequently, but not entirely about Jimin. They mostly talk about other things instead of the two, since they knew nothing was progressing from there. Aeri remembers that one time Jimin came to see her after a Sunday service at the church, which she forgot how long it has been since Jimin has gone to one since she started working.

(“I know I’m not supposed to tell you this, but–” Jimin pauses. She downs her glass of Belvedere. Aeri hisses at the sight. Though it’s Jimin downing that shit, Aeri knows her throat burns like hell from the frown on her face. 

“But?” Aeri waits for her to continue.

“I prayed.” Her friend grins. Aeri believes that Jimin is already intoxicated, almost three quarters of the bottle on her alone. 

She has an amused expression on her face. Aeri mockingly teases. “Are you supposed to sell corn cobs in the church then?” 

She sees the slight smile on Jimin’s face. Her hand reaches out for the bottle Jimin holds, stopping her from pouring more vodka into her glass. Jimin shrugs her hand away, reasoning she wants to drink her guts out tonight. Aeri knows it well, since Jimin did tell her about it when she texted her to come over after 5. 

“What did you pray for?” Aeri tries to dig into what Jimin has in her mind. 

Jimin swirls the glass, looking into the liquid that contains inside. “I don’t know. A bit hazy.” 

Aeri stays quiet. She digs into the slices of pineapple in front of them. Jimin finally continues after remembering what she wanted to say.

"In moments of silent prayer, may my heart's yearnings be heard.")

Aeri leans in closer, her voice gentle yet firm. "But Jimin, if growth is shown, then you might be able to come back together."

Jimin doesn't lift her gaze from her phone, her thumb mindlessly scrolling through her Instagram feed. "I can see that." she murmurs, her tone distant.

"Then why are you staying static?" Aeri presses, her concern evident in her voice.

Jimin sighs, setting her phone down on the table with a soft thud. She meets Aeri's gaze, her eyes reflecting a mixture of uncertainty and regret. "I don't want to hurt her again." she admits, her voice cracking slightly with emotion.

Aeri reaches out, placing a comforting hand on Jimin's arm. "I understand, but staying stagnant won't protect her either." she says gently. "Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to confront our own fears and insecurities. I know you still love her. You should not risk getting hurt either."

Jimin's gaze flickers up to meet Aeri's, gratitude mingling with uncertainty in her eyes. "But what if I'm not ready?" she asks quietly, the vulnerability of her words echoing in the space between them.

Aeri's expression softens, her eyes reflecting empathy and understanding. "It's okay not to be ready." she assures Jimin. "Healing takes time, and there's no rush to figure everything out."

-

Jimin sometimes thinks she has moved on from Minjeong. Not until she sees something that brings her back to her ex. 

That one time she went to COEX’s library just to listen to vinyls. She has not been thinking of Minjeong for a full month, until she sat down on her personal seat for the listening and she got reminded of how Minjeong made up for not being able to have dinner together early days into her career by bringing her to the aquarium downstairs. She remembered vividly how Minjeong spurts her mouth on the different types of fishes, how they coexist with each other. Jimin felt like it’s so ironic how Minjeong explained about clown fishes, and how that story brought her feeling so close to home. 

("You know, Jimin." Minjeong starts, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she gestures towards the vibrant clownfish darting among the swaying tentacles of the sea anemones. "These clownfish have a remarkable partnership with sea anemones."

Jimin listens intently, intrigued by Minjeong's explanation.

"These small, brightly coloured fish are immune to the venomous sting of the sea anemones." Minjeong continues, her voice soft yet excited. Jimin enjoys the little things about Minjeong, especially when she geeks out about her little readings. "So, they can live safely within their tentacles without being harmed."

Jimin's eyes widen with curiosity as she watches the graceful dance of the clownfish and the swaying movements of the sea anemones.

"In return," Minjeong explains, "the clownfish provide the sea anemones with nutrients from their waste, which helps to fertilise and nourish them. It's a beautiful example of symbiosis in nature, where both species benefit from their relationship.")

Jimin feels like her progress isn’t linear. It fluctuates. Sometimes she feels like she’s moved on, while other times she feels an overwhelming urge to reach out to Minjeong. 

Acceptance? Jimin never quite reaches there.

-

Minjeong feels another tug in her heart when she reads the texts spammed from Jimin. 

[00:30] Maybe: Yu Jimin (+82 010 223-9114): I know I shouldn’t be texting you, especially after midnight
[00:30] Maybe: Yu Jimin (+82 010 223-9114): But I thought about what you said
[00:31] Maybe: Yu Jimin (+82 010 223-9114): Let’s be friends again. But I’d like to talk with you about this
[00:31] Maybe: Yu Jimin (+82 010 223-9114): You don’t have to reply if you’ve changed your mind
[00:32] Maybe: Yu Jimin (+82 010 223-9114): You call the shots minjeong 

She contemplates whether she should reply straight away or wait until the next morning, in hopes she can find the best replies for the texts. But tomorrow is a Sunday. Minjeong has made up her mind to sleep in since she feels like she has emptied her social battery for the week, after attending two events in a week. She types in a reply quickly, so Jimin doesn’t go offline. 

[00:34] Kim Minjeong: Do you want me to come over?

-

When Minjeong says she wants to come over, Jimin doesn’t expect the woman to come over to her place in 30 minutes. Jimin looks at the intercom. She sees Minjeong standing with a black plastic bag. 

Jimin opens the door for Minjeong. “I didn’t know you’d meant coming over instantly.” 

Minjeong grins, waving the black plastic bag in her hand. “Hi friend.” 

Jimin leads the way to the living room. Something in Minjeong urges her to say that she knows the plan of the house way too well, but she decides to keep it in because she doesn’t want to touch on that topic just yet. At least not for now when Jimin wants to talk to her about the past for closure. 

“I don’t know how to start, to be honest with you.” Jimin mutters. She helps Minjeong set up the coffee table for them to snack on the tteokbokki Minjeong bought. Jimin just looks down on the table, avoiding any eye contact with Minjeong since the reason why she is here is because she wants to talk about them. 

“Eat it while it’s warm. Can do the talking later.” Minjeong separates the chopsticks for Jimin and hands them to her before finally settling herself down on the floor. She looks at Jimin playing with the sauce. “Are you full? Have you had dinner?”

Jimin shakes her head. She slowly lifts up her head. “I’m gonna get us beer.”

Minjeong reaches out to stop Jimin. “I don’t need it, I’ll be riding later.”

Jimin stands up. “Then I’ll take one for myself.”

“Are you planning to depend on alcohol to talk to me?” Minjeong restricts Jimin from taking another step to the fridge. Jimin sighs and sits back down, taking another bite of the tteokbokki. 

Jimin can’t find herself saying no to Minjeong, even after all these years. Is it just her prioritising what her heart says? To not reject whatever Minjeong tells her? Or is it just her turning a blind eye on the past empty four years she felt? 

“You know, I have never seen you at all after that one time I had lunch at that crepe cake cafe.” Minjeong says. Jimin knows one day, this question is going to be asked but definitely not now. Not when Jimin feels like her insides are churning out of the feelings she can’t make out of.

“Maybe God didn’t want us to meet.” Jimin mumbles. Her eyes focused on the tv that creates hums in the air. 

“Sometimes, I go out and wonder if you’re in the same space as me.” Minjeong admits. She chews on the snack before she continues. “And I always wonder how I would react if we really did bump into each other.”

Jimin lets the curiosity inside of her out. “How do you think you would?”

Minjeong hums while she thinks. She rests her chin on knees. “Not sure. Along the lines of greeting you or pretending I know nothing about your existence.” 

“How do you think I would react?” Jimin asks her. 

“I can’t be imagining things I hoped you would do, right?” Minjeong chuckles. She looks over to Jimin, whose eyes are still fixed on the tv which she knows bore her to death since it’s the midnight news. Minjeong counts all the moles on Jimin’s face.

The corner of Jimin’s lips goes up a bit, feeling amused at how blunt Minjeong is. “As a human being, we can’t really stop ourselves from thinking of it. Not like anyone would know what’s running inside that head of yours.” 

Minjeong lets out a tiny groan. “Fine. I just hoped you would have your eyes on me.”

“Why?” Jimin raises an eyebrow. 

Minjeong gulps. She throws her hands up in the air. “You always stare at me whenever you look at me. It’s like you’re telling me you are there with me. Something in me hoped you would do that.” 

Truth is that, Minjeong got it all correct. Jimin doesn’t know if it’s a good move if she just admits to the few times they’ve crossed paths with each other, but Jimin just stayed as far away as she could while she watched Minjeong. Should I, or should I not? Will Minjeong hate her if she tells her the truth? What will be the outcome if she just decides to tell her about it?

“There were times I saw you.” Jimin closes her eyes, head dropping down in between her crossed arms on the knees. “I didn’t want you to see me so I just tried avoiding being in your view.”

“Why did you avoid me?” Minjeong sounds untroubled.

“Preventing emotional turmoil and I wanted to respect your space.” Jimin tells her vaguely. She doesn’t really know how to explain to Minjeong about it. 

“Why?” Minjeong asks again.

“Why what?” Jimin raises her head to look at Minjeong. The woman in front of her just rocks herself back and forth. She is still in the same position as she was before, except that the plate of tteokbokki is empty and clean. 

“Why do you wanna be considerate of me?” 

Jimin hesitates, her mind racing as she searches for the right words. Why indeed? The question hangs in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions and unresolved history.

After a moment of silence, Jimin finally meets Minjeong's gaze with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. "Because despite everything that happened between us, I still care about you." She admits softly. "I don't want to cause you any more pain than I already have. I want you to be able to move forward without any unnecessary complications or reminders of the past."

Minjeong's expression softens, her eyes reflecting a complex mix of emotions. "But what about you?" She asks, her voice gentle. "What about your own feelings?"

Jimin just manages to chuckle to the thought. “I hated myself enough for making you think a breakup is the best solution for us both. I still blamed myself though you told me not to.” 

Minjeong finds herself wanting to reach out for a hug, but she stays still. Jimin wants closure, and she is here to hear Jimin’s side out. 

Jimin continues. “I’m the older one between us, but why is it always you who takes care of me? I was the first one who started working between us, but why is it you who has to get hurt in the process?” 

“We both did, Jimin. It wasn’t only me.” Minjeong tries reassuring her.

“You kept telling me I should go build up my own name. I did as you asked.” Jimin trails off. Minjeong sees the tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to fall off. 

“Because I know you will succeed. You had a bright future in front of you, and I’m proud of where you’re standing now.” Minjeong reasons out. 

“My future? You thought of it?” Jimin grits her teeth. “Have you ever seen yourself in those? Because I did. I wanted to have you in my every step.” 

Minjeong's heart clenches at Jimin's words, her own eyes stinging with unshed tears. She reaches out tentatively, her hand hovering in the air for a moment before she gently brushes away tears that escape Jimin's eye.

"I've always believed in you, Jimin." Minjeong says softly, her voice thick with emotion. "I've seen the strength and determination in you, even when you couldn't see it in yourself. And I knew that you were destined for greatness, with or without me by your side."

Jimin shakes her head, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. "But who are you to tell me if I would be okay with or without you?" She whispers, her voice raw with pain.

Minjeong feels the anguish in Jimin's words, the weight of their shared history bearing down on them both. "I’m really sorry." She murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. "It might have not happened yet at that time but I didn’t want to become the reason why you’re restricting yourself from the achievements you could have strived for."

Jimin's gaze meets hers, filled with a mixture of longing and resignation. "Do you know how shitty it was to work when you were not here with me anymore?" Jimin asks, her voice trembling with emotion. "I get reminded of it everytime I go to work. And every time, I hoped you would know how far I’ve come because of you."

"I didn't realise." Minjeong’s voice is thick with regret. "I didn't realise how much it would affect you. I didn’t know I meant a lot to you."

Jimin's eyes search for Minjeong's whose eyes filled with a mixture of hurt and longing. "You were home to me. I come back to you everyday. You were all I looked forward to." She confesses.

Minjeong stays quiet. She just wants to listen, although her mind is fogged with everything Jimin just told her. 

“For now, that’s all I can tell you. I agreed to be friends again because you were a friend to me too before you were my girlfriend.” Jimin gives her a small smile. “And I think we should make amends now that we’re in the same industry. I can’t avoid you anymore, and I pity Aeri and Yizhuo for having to draw a line between them because of us.” 

Minjeong nods, agreeing to what Jimin tells her. “I can see where you’re coming from.”

Jimin calls her out. “Minjeong, do you have anything to tell me before we leave this as it is for now?” 

“I’m really sorry I left you alone.” Minjeong apologises. She knows her eyes are bloodshot red from the crying, but she knows she can’t compare it to what she has missed seeing from Jimin. “I will take all these as points I should improve on.”

“You’re making this sound like a KPI.” Jimin tries to joke. She doesn’t want Minjeong to bury herself in her thoughts.

“Maybe I’m treating it as one.” Minjeong gives her a reassuring smile. Seeing the watch on her hand, it’s nearly three in the morning. “Let’s clean up. I’ll be making my move after that.”

Minjeong washes the utensils and glasses at the sink. She hears Jimin opening the fridge’s door. “Minjeong.”

She hums to the call. “What?”

Jimin closes the door and she hears the crack sound of a can being opened. Minjeong looks back as she puts the last glass on the drainer. 

“Just stay the night. It’s too late.” Jimin invites. She can see in Jimin’s face that she wants her to agree on staying over. Minjeong shakes her head.

“Not tonight. Not for now. You know why.” Minjeong tells her. Jimin gets what Minjeong is trying to tell her. Minjeong is right after all. They shouldn’t be rushing things and pretend like everything is okay again, especially after the talk that is left hanging until Jimin feels comfortable again. Jimin rethinks about her feelings again. 

Minjeong picks up her sling bag and Jimin guides her to the door. She slips into her sandals, ready to leave Jimin’s unit.

Minjeong feels heavy on leaving. “You can’t be looking at me like that, Jimin.”

Jimin leans against her shoe rack. She just looks so fragile in front of Minjeong. Her puffy eyes, the fringe that slightly covers the sides of her forehead, the matching plaid pyjamas that engulfs her frame perfectly. Minjeong feels like it’s such a familiar sight, one that Minjeong used to see a few years back. Minjeong feels like she just got back home from KNPA, having Jimin standing by the door like this. 

Jimin's heart skips a beat at the vulnerability in Minjeong's voice. "I missed you a lot." She admits, her tone laced with longing.

Old habits die hard, don't they? Jimin thinks to herself.

"Minjeong." Jimin begins tentatively, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Hm?" Minjeong's response is barely audible, her own emotions swirling beneath the surface.

"Can I have a hug?" Jimin's request hangs in the air.

“Come here.” Minjeong replies gently, her voice a soothing balm to Jimin's frayed nerves. Jimin hesitates for a moment before taking a tentative step forward. With each step, the distance between them seems to shrink, until finally, she finds herself enveloped in Minjeong's embrace.

Minjeong holds her tight, her arms a familiar refuge that Jimin never realised she had been yearning for. Everything feels too familiar, too right, and Jimin doesn't want to let go. She buries her face in Minjeong's neck, her breaths coming out in muffled sighs against Minjeong's skin. It's as if time has stood still, and for this fleeting moment, all the pain and heartache of the past seems to melt away in Minjeong's arms.

"You don't have to ask." Minjeong tells Jimin. She feels Minjeong’s hand soothing her back, her other arm holding her waist.

"I have to. Time has passed." Jimin mumbles against her neck, her words tinged with regret.

"Doesn't mean that everything changes the way time does." Minjeong counters.

That night, Jimin lays herself on the bed until she witnesses the rays of the sun seeping through the blinds.

-

Jimin invites Minjeong and Yizhuo to grab lunch with her and Aeri the next day. 

“Okay, let me get this straight.” Minjeong’s eyes open wide. “You guys had sex?” 

Aeri nods. Yizhuo just gives them that stupid grin. “We’re adults, and we’ve been single for too long.” 

As soon as Yizhuo ends her sentence, Minjeong lets out a big, loud scoff. Jimin still has her jaw on the floor since Aeri dropped the big ass confession. She looks at Minjeong, the woman drops a whole betrayal bar of how no one told them one thing. 

“Oh god. Don’t tell me about that!” Minjeong exclaims. She points to Aeri and Yizhuo back and forth. “I don’t want to know how it went. When was this?”

Yizhuo replies back, shrugging her shoulders. “Last two years? It was after the Lunar New Year break though, and we both didn’t fly back home.”

“We had this cold war for a short while but we resolved it. It’s not something ideal to do, anyway.” Aeri tells them. Jimin and Minjeong just nod, their eyes meeting each other occasionally to the newfound information. 

Minjeong munches on the beignet. “I thought you two would end up together, to be honest.” 

“Me too. You guys were stuck to the hips in uni.” Jimin motions her hands sticking together, acting as if the glue is a bit too strong between one another. 

“Don’t act as if you two were not!” Aeri interjects. Yizhuo makes a kissy face in front of Minjeong, earning a one-hand choke from the woman. 

“Kinky.” Jimin decides to jump in. Minjeong and Yizhuo look at her, offended. 

“Oh, not you talking, baby girl.” Aeri teases, before changing the subject. “I have something to tell you two.” 

“What?” Yizhuo sips on her juice, ready to listen. Everytime Aeri says that, it would always be the craziest shit coming out from her mouth. One time it was a gossip about one of the personal trainers in the uni’s gym having an affair with one of the lecturers, which the both of them had to go for counselling because the higher ups found out that it wasn’t just a normal sappy relationship but instead a bondage inclined one. Another time it was the leaked number and sets of pictures of a janitor and the cafeteria girl in the middle of an intercourse. Aeri’s connections work in various ways, and that’s what kept the group chat alive most of the time besides the reels links back then. 

“Are you guys free in April? I think it's the last week of April.” Aeri asks. Minjeong immediately nods. “Eh, so fast?”

“I have 20 days to spend outta my annual leave. Don’t wanna burn it.” Minjeong shows off, her smirk evident on her face to brag in front of Yizhuo. She chuckles when she receives a middle finger from her while she scrolls through her Teams calendar.

“I don’t think I have anything either. I’ll just push shit out later. Why?” Yizhuo confirms as she shows them her empty calendar. 

“She wants to give you tickets to the Japanese GP, since you two are into cars.” Jimin blurts out. She takes her last bite of her meal, wiping off her mouth with a tissue. 

Aeri nods in agreement. She forwards the itinerary to the group chat which hasn’t been touched since forever, the last text being a youtube link Jimin sent four years ago. “I remember you used to be obsessed with slimes.” 

“Thank you so much but you’re coming along, right?” Minjeong asks, going through the file Aeri sent.

“Yeap.” She pops out the ‘p’. “Jimin is coming along too.” 

“How many tickets does your HR let you claim? Isn’t it normally two?” Yizhuo inquires. She leans in with curiosity. 

“My boss gave me another two, supposedly for him and his wife.” Aeri tells them. She proceeds with the story of him texting her that she can take another two tickets that belong to him out of the blue on a Monday night.

“Nice boss you have right there.” Minjeong remarks, clicking her tongue. She rests her back against the chair.

“Well, they got divorced.”

Now, that’s very much like Aeri's juicy tidbits session. 

-

The next time Jimin meets Minjeong is during a night midweek at her place again. 

“You came.” Jimin says, holding the front door. Minjeong stands in front of her, holding the souvenir she got for the owner of the house. She knows Jimin wonders she gets through security without having them call Jimin’s unit for approval. 

“I told you I was coming, didn’t I? I got you Nian Gao, in celebration of the new year.” Minjeong hands her the rice cake set. She steps aside to let the guest inside. Minjeong takes off her sandals, arranging them on the right side before the platform.

Jimin shows her the way to the dining table (as if she doesn’t know). She notices that Jimin has prepared a lot. In the middle of the table, lay a bowl of Tangsuyuk and a small bowl of the dipping sauce next to it. A row of banchan for two, a plate of Yusanseul as well as two hot steamed rice bowls. She looks at the woman plating the rice cakes onto a proper plate for them to feast on. 

“Before you say anything, I bought them from Aunty Liu’s place.” Jimin knows Minjeong is a second away from opening her mouth to tease her about the kitchen that hasn’t been burned down, so she beats her to it before any unnecessary banters. Minjeong laughs at her thoughts alone before taking a seat on the wooden stool. 

She puts the rice cake on the side of the table before she sits facing Minjeong. “Please help yourself.” Jimin tells Minjeong to dig into the early dinner. 

Minjeong gives her a smile and a small thank you for the food that Jimin can barely hear. She waits for Minjeong to have her first bite, before taking her own. Jimin almost breaks down at the sight of having Minjeong in front of her like this. Her chopsticks busy stuffing food in her mouth non-stop, her faint chews as her eyes roam around the table to see what is her next target. Before she realises it, her rice bowl is already half empty. 

“Jimin.” Minjeong calls her. She taps her chopsticks softly against the rim of the bowl. Why does the way Minjeong calls her sound so tender in her ears? Has she been thinking way too much about wanting to hear her name rolling off Minjeong’s lips? 

“Yes?” Jimin replies. Her head hangs a bit low, looking at the almost-finished Tangsuyuk in the big bowl. 

“You have youtube premium?” 

Jimin finds herself sharing a couch with Minjeong, watching videos of cars Minjeong wants to introduce her to.

“This one is a 964 with the RWB body kit.” Minjeong skips a few seconds into the video until it shows a video of a japanese guy cutting off the sides of a Porsche (if she guesses the logo right). “This guy, Akira Nakai, is the only tuner in the world who does custom body kits for certain porsches. You order the kit from him, after a few months he exports it to you and he comes over and installs them himself. Freehanded.”

Jimin just manages to let out a nod, still shocked at the fact that this guy cuts so easily through the car. Minjeong skips the video again before she rewinds the part she overskips. “Oh shit–motocompo.”

“That’s some lego-looking bike.” Jimin mumbles. Minjeong laughs at her heartily. 

“This lego ass bike is a special one.” She opens up her phone to show Jimin a car set-in for an old Honda. “Back in the 80s, whoever gets the Honda City, this Motocompo could be folded and put into the boot. You get it for free, a combo.”

“Sounds very special if you’re geeking out like this.” Minjeong looks at the dimple on Jimin’s face when she smiles. In her eyes, Jimin is just surrounded by fireflies. She would never admit this in front of anyone, let this be her secret she will keep forever. 

“Very special because normally Motocompo comes with an automatic engine but the owner changed it to a c70. Look at the arm at the back too, they changed it to disc brake.”

Minjeong continues rambling about the vlog at the autosalon. Jimin doesn’t really remember where she leaves off but she remembers a few, along the lines of modifications and events held for tuned cars. Does it make sense if she admits she likes listening to Minjeong’s voice, though she understands zero from the content? Maybe for tonight, she lets her guard down.

There is something in Minjeong’s voice that keeps Jimin wanting more. Jimin reminisces about the past. It’s the same setting like how it was, Minjeong on the right side of the couch and she stays on the left. Minjeong sits with both legs crossed on the sofa while she hugs her knees close to her chest.

“I missed listening to you like this.” Jimin breaks out of her trance. Minjeong stops and chuckles, her hand reaching out to caress Jimin’s folded arms. 

“Don’t be a stranger.” Minjeong tells her. Jimin knows she means no harm with that. She knows Minjeong realises that Jimin is walking on eggshells around her. 

Jimin never forgets her. She remembers Minjeong likes her coffee with only 10% of sugar. She remembers Minjeong prefers the volume digit to be odd instead of even. She remembers which episode of Modern Family that Minjeong likes. She remembers how Minjeong ties up her shoelaces. She remembers how Minjeong prefers taking her time separating the greens before she fully dives into the meal. She remembers how Minjeong likes folding her clothes, assorting them according to colours. 

Jimin never forgets.

“Can you tell me you love me?” Jimin asks quietly. 

“I love you.” Minjeong answers, almost immediately. She couldn’t recognise any hint of force in her voice. It sounds sincere, way too sincere to her liking. 

“Do you really?” She presses.  

“I would be hesitant to say it if I don’t.” Minjeong reassures her, as always. Jimin feels like she can break down in any minute. She feels so suffocated, and she doesn’t know if she can ever forget the feeling of being left by the person in front of her. 

“Can you give me a kiss?” Jimin’s voice trembles with uncertainty as she makes her request. She doesn’t want this to be her last. Her chest tightens to the thought of it.

“Will this help you sort out your feelings?” Minjeong’s question hangs in the air, a gentle probing that seemed to echo the uncertainty swirling within Jimin's heart. She yearns for the solace of Minjeong's touch, hoping it might untangle the knots of confusion within her.

“I think so.” 

Jimin closes her eyes when she sees Minjeong leaning closer. She feels Minjeong’s hand holding the back of her neck, another cupping her left cheek, as if seeking to erase the doubts that plague her mind. Jimin can feel Minjeong’s breaths on her lips. They echo in her ears, resonating deep within her heart, stirring memories of a love she thought she had lost. “I love you, Jimin. I still do.”

Jimin feels Minjeong’s lips on her. Jimin's senses ignite with a rush of conflicting emotions. There's a familiarity in the touch, a ghost of the past lingering in the present moment. She feels Minjeong's warmth enveloping her, grounding her in the midst of her swirling thoughts. Jimin surrenders to the kiss, allowing herself to be carried away by the tide of sensation. Each brush of Minjeong's lips against hers sends a shiver down her spine, stirring the feeling of longing within her. Jimin loses herself in Minjeong. She lets the tears she has been holding slide down her face.

Minjeong pulls away. Her thumb wipes off the glistening, ever still gorgeous teardrops off Jimin’s face. She tucks the few strands of the dark brown locks away from sticking on her forehead. Jimin can’t find herself looking away from Minjeong’s eyes. Only if they aren’t in this position, she would be teasing Minjeong out of the hell of the world for sobbing along. But this time, Minjeong looks at her with such adoration. She reaches out to touch Minjeong’s face.

“I’ll give you some space, Jimin.” 

Jimin hates herself for not being able to tell Minjeong to stay the night.

-

Minjeong doesn’t need to give her two weeks to arrange her thoughts properly. It takes Jimin a few seconds after the kiss to know what she really wants. 

The next time she sees Minjeong is during a dinner with Aeri and Yizhuo. Jimin holds herself back from jumping into Minjeong’s arms but at least she gets to hug her from the back and rest her chin on Minjeong’s shoulder. Of course, she doesn’t fail to notice the shoulders that tense up as soon as she lays herself on her.

“You’re a bit too clingy today, I see.” Minjeong tells her. The sears of the steak cut in the skillet punctuates her words. Minjeong covers Jimin’s exposed hands over hers. “Hot butter might splatter on you.”  

“Don’t I always do this?” Jimin mumbles. She doesn’t mind the heart from the skillet working its way up near them. The exhaust hood is there for a reason, though the sound is not too pleasing in her ears. 

“I thought you’d be avoiding me.” Minjeong ponders off for a moment. She flips the steak on the other side to baste it. “I was a dick for leaving you alone the other night.”

Jimin chuckles. “Two weeks. You didn’t even ask me how I was when you came earlier.” 

Minjeong puts the steak aside to rest. She turns around and rests against the counter top. “Okay. How are you, Jimin?” She asks. 

“Only Jimin?” 

Minjeong raises an eyebrow to her question. “Huh?” 

“You’re not romantic at all.” Oh. So that’s how she wants to play. Minjeong smiles when she sees Jimin wanting to walk to the Aeri’s dining area. She reaches out for Jimin’s hand, able to grab her finger. 

“Do you want me to send you home later, princess?” Minjeong’s question gets her heart cartwheeling. Jimin swears she feels herself flushing but she doesn’t turn to look at Minjeong. 

Minjeong sees her nodding before she skips away to get the table ready. 

She hears Yizhuo calling her about the mashed potatoes. Minjeong swings over her arm around Yizhuo’s shoulder. “I can’t send you home today.”

“I heard. Did you make her mad again that you had to call her like that?” Yizhuo asks. She hands the bowl of mashed potatoes for Minjeong to set on the table with the steaks she prepared. 

“Something happened. I just gave her space.” Minjeong blurts out. “As if that didn’t bring me a lot of memories too.” 

Minjeong walks over to the dining area to see Jimin and Aeri sitting facing each other instead of side by side. Jimin seems to not notice Minjeong's presence even after she places the mashed potatoes and the oak wood board with steak on the table because she’s on that damn phone. Minjeong decides to take the seat next to Aeri but when she’s about to sit, Aeri shoves her away as she gestures to the empty chair next to Jimin. 

“Ouch! What the fuck was that for, Uchinaga?” Minjeong yelps, finally getting Jimin’s attention off the phone.

“Scoot, feisty shorty.” Yizhuo pushes her to the side as she sits next to Aeri. 

Minjeong gives up and sits next to Jimin. The dinner progresses with the other three talking about the reels they sent in the group gc. Aeri starts name-dropping some names she finds familiar until they find out that these people were Aeri’s coursemates in Biotech back then. 

“Oh–I remember him! He was the athlete from your club right?” Yizhuo starts remembering the names Aeri told them. The engineer nods, showing pictures of what they’re all up to now. Minjeong still doesn’t remember so she just listens along. 

Jimin nudges her from the side. “Miss introvert doesn’t remember these guys?” 

Minjeong tuts. “You know what I focused on in uni.” 

Jimin giggles to Minjeong’s eyeroll. “Admit it that you focused on me back then.” 

“Sorry? I had to maintain my cgpa and I had commitments to the band.” Minjeong fake-offends her. Jimin tries fighting back but what comes out is a stutter. She can see the woman next to her grinning from eye to eye before she covers up with a mouthful of cake.

“Burn.” Aeri and Yizhuo mumble at the same time. Jimin mouths a fuck you to the both of them when they start teasing her about it. 

“And you! Don’t you think I didn’t see you smiling.” Jimin points her finger at Minjeong, getting the woman to spit out some soda she just drinks. Minjeong bursts out in laughter when she recovers from the choke.

“Sorry. You flirt like a middle school boy going through puberty.” Minjeong quips. Aeri lets out a high pitched scream to Minjeong’s statement. Yizhuo nods in agreement, pointing out the telltale flush on Jimin’s cheeks.

“That’s oddly specific coming from you.” Jimin retorts. She hides her face in her hands. 

“I grew up with a brother, if you don’t remember.” Minjeong replies. 

As Aeri's laughter subsides, she suddenly interjects. "Although she flirts like one, I'm not gonna let go of the fact that she acts like a baby girl." 

"Yeah, you do," Yizhuo chimes in as she claps her hands in agreement, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"No, I don't!" Jimin protests.

"Admit that you are one." Minjeong teases, using the same tone as how Jimin did to her earlier. Before Jimin can retort, Yizhuo puts two bottles of whiskey, a Macallan and Glenmorangie on the table. 

“Alright stop teasing, let’s drink and baby-talk.” Yizhuo pours each of them a glass and places a can of soda in front of Minjeong. “You’re not drinking tonight.” 

Minjeong gives her a thumbs up before she chips. “Okay, mommy.” 

Jimin looks at Minjeong, arching an eyebrow. “Why? The last time you didn’t drink either.” 

“She extracted her wisdom tooth last Tuesday. So no alcohol for a few days.” Yizhuo explains. Minjeong gives them a smile, slowly turning her face to show her left jaw. 

“No wonder you chew so slow.” Jimin jests. She earns a soft shove from Minjeong. 

“Damn. Not you observing.” Aeri makes a statement. She raises her glass, cueing the other three to meet her midway. 

“For life!” Yizhuo says. They repeat her words before Aeri stops them for another toast. She smirks at Jimin before she shouts. 

“To Jimin, the eternal baby girl!”

Aeri receives glares from the sulking woman for the first 10 minutes of drinking.

-

“Jimin looks so excited, don’t you think?” Aeri sits down next to Minjeong, looking over the other two as they battle on palm off after Yizhuo beats Jimin in mortal kombat 11 which leaves the oldest amongst them all raging that she can beat Yizhuo in something else. 

Minjeong agrees. She pours Aeri the lemon isotonic drink in her glass to sober her up. “Let her be. She is living her first life.” 

“Oh, you believe in that?” A hint of surprise in Aeri’s question. Minjeong laughs it off. “Of course. There are a lot more, to be frank with you.”

“Tell me about it. I know you believe you and I met in our past lives.” Aeri remembers the time when Minjeong offered her a ride to the airport on her first ever long vacation after becoming a biotech engineer. Out of the blue, Minjeong told her that she feels very comfortable with Aeri as she said she believes that somehow, their paths had crossed in the past. 

“You’ve probably heard about the theory of the red strings of fate? I consider it like a roman empire.” Minjeong tells her. She opens a story about how she finds it interesting that the reason why pinky fingers are meant for promises align with the theory. Going off about that, Minjeong continues telling Aeri about a story of an old man living on the moon who searches among kin spirits to reunite them with each other.

“So when two people have things to learn from each other, he ties a red thread between them so they can find each other. It’s crazy to think that our end of the string will always end in someone else.” She ends her story with an imaginary rainbow above her head. Aeri finds it unfamiliar, but happy to see Minjeong being able to express her thoughts like this. She remembers how timid Minjeong was a few years back; never telling stories nor sharing her opinions like this except when it’s something stupid–in between their jokes.

“Do you know that when you’re both far away from each other, you’ll feel the strings pulling you two back? It’s some basic science, literally.” Aeri motions a push and pull gesture as she asks.

“Like because of quantum entanglement?” Minjeong wonders.

“Because you’re pulling each other’s strings. That’s why you feel nothing when you’re close to each other because there’s no force.” Aeri explains, seeing Minjeong’s mouth form an ‘o’. She looks at Jimin and Yizhuo, then back to Minjeong.

“If it’s true Jimin is living her first life, then I’ll agree with you too.” Aeri states. Before Minjeong gets to ask why, she continues. “I was there all along when you were not around, like how Yizhuo does to you. She seemed like she went through the biggest heartbreak ever like it’s her first. I don’t think I want to see her in that state ever again.”

Minjeong catches what Aeri is trying to imply. “I’m sorry–I don’t want her to feel that way again either. I’m trying to gain her trust again.”

Aerie leans on Minjeong’s shoulder. They both just watch the two women in front of them playing tekken on the console, after Jimin loses another time in the palm off. 

“She never lost trust, Minjeong. I’d say it wouldn’t take long before she tells you about it.” Aeri gives her a hint. Minjeong rests her head against the headrest. 

-

Minjeong stays true to her words and becomes Jimin’s driver for the night. She doesn’t worry much about leaving Yizhuo at Aeri’s because for a fact, she knows Yizhuo will end up sleeping over though she told her she wants to beat Aeri in tekken. 

“Sometimes, can you bring me on a ride to the countryside?” Jimin breaks the silence in the car as soon as they take off from Aeri’s complex. Minjeong hums in question.

“So sudden? What happened to being a scaredy cat on bikes?” Minjeong asks. 

Jimin huffs in annoyance. “I can be tough when I want to.” 

“We can ride to Suwon before we fly off to the GP if you want to. How long has it been since you went home?” She offers Jimin a getaway for a few days prior to their flight. Minjeong knows it has been a while since Jimin last went home, based on her posts on social media. 

“Really?” Jimin’s frown turns into a big smile. The dimples on her cheeks make an appearance, not that Minjeong is complaining. 

Minjeong confirms. “Yeah? I haven’t been to Suwon for years. I’ll get myself a hotel room while you stay with your parents.” 

Jimin doesn’t say anything after that. Minjeong turns her head to look at the woman in the shotgun seat. She thinks Jimin is just wuzzy from all the drinking at Aeri’s place. She continues focusing on the road until Jimin slows down the aux volume.

“Actually, I want to talk about something with you.” Jimin confesses, her fingers fidgeting on the hem of her shirt. 

“Is this about me calling you princess again earlier? Because if it is, then I’m so–” Minjeong gets cut off by Jimin.

“No, I liked that. It made me feel wanted, though it was just a spur of the moment.” Jimin stammers. “And no, I want to talk about something else.” 

Minjeong tries to ease herself by repeating don’t freak out mantra in her head, accompanied by her way too loud beatings of the heart. She doesn’t think it’s a heart attack or arrhythmia. She drags out her reply. “Okay.”

“It’s about us. I want to talk about us.” Jimin starts off. Minjeong takes that as a cue to stop the car somewhere bright. It seems that even God is listening to her that it happens to be Hangang once again where they’re stopping, except that they’re at the end of the bridge. 

“Go ahead, Jimin. I’ll tell you everything if there’s anything you want to ask.” She tells Jimin. She feels herself shrinking in her seat due to how tense the air in the car is. 

“I want to tell you about how I was doing after, you know, that day.” Jimin says slowly. “I felt like the light in life was gone. I felt like, I don’t know, maybe I felt shitty because the reason why I worked was because of you. I would always remember you, and I couldn’t run away from it because I can’t just run away from work, from something I needed to do in order to survive. It felt like hell to go through a day knowing I don’t have the person I look forward to when I come home.”

Minjeong is the one who gets silenced by her words now. She sees Minjeong looking down at the steering wheel. Jimin continues. “I felt so heartbroken, Minjeong. I felt like I was to blame too because of the situation we got ourselves in, where we had to opt for a break up above everything else. It broke me so hard that I know I was part of it too, and I was the reason it started too.” 

Before Minjeong can intercept to tell her it’s not, she looks at Minjeong to listen to her. 

“At first, I felt mad that you came back. After years of not being with you, I had to face one night finding out everything from start until the end. But maybe, I was just too hurt because I have never really felt the way I did when I was with you. I guess it’s because you are my first love, and relationship.”

Minjeong nods slowly. Jimin doesn’t realise when the hell Minjeong intertwines her hand with hers, but she looks at the thumb doing circles on the back of her hand. “I’m listening.”

Jimin shifts her gaze to Minjeong. “I waited for you, Kim Minjeong. Among the prayers I’ve asked for, it’d always be you in between them.”

“You waited for me?” Minjeong asks. She realises that Minjeong might think that she gave up the hope of getting back together, judging from her tone. 

“Of course I did. I always will.” Jimin reassures her. She cups Minjeong’s left cheek in her hand. The moment her hand touches her face, Minjeong bursts into tears. “Why are you crying?”

Minjeong leans forward, covering her face against the steering wheel. Through her muffled cries, she grips the wheel so hard that Jimin realises her hands are turning white. Jimin pats Minjeong’s back.

Minjeong cries out octaves of apologies, Jimin couldn’t make out some of the phrases. Jimin feels her heart aching so hard seeing Minjeong in this state. “I’m not blaming you, Minjeong.” 

She sees Minjeong releasing her grip on the steering, eyes red and puffy after her wails. Their eyes meet each other’s. 

“I’m sorry.” Minjeong apologises, her voice hoarse and small. Jimin realises that she might have held in a lot from the way her tone wavers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you’d wait for me. I thought I would mean nothing anymore.”

Jimin shakes her head. “No. Don’t say that. I still love you, too.”

Minjeong doesn’t reply though her eyes are still locked on hers. Jimin gives her a reassuring smile, one that tells her everything is okay. 

“If you want to have me back as a lover, I’m ready for it.” Jimin confesses. Minjeong lets out a small, whispered ‘huh’. She gives Minjeong a nod.

“Are you serious?” Minjeong inquires hesitantly. She doesn’t want to cross any line that might hurt Jimin. In a flash, she rethinks back about all the things they went through together. 

“I’m serious. But ask me properly, will you?” Jimin smirks. Minjeong knows she is referring to the confession Minjeong proposed to her with, unserious but full of love.

In her heart, Jimin mutters a prayer to have everyone witness the sight of Minjeong in front of her, smiling widely with tears glistening in her eyes that Jimin would never get tired of. The lips Jimin never forgets the taste. The hands holding hers, perfectly fit like finding the perfect size of mitten gloves that provides you warmth and care. 

“Will you be my girlfriend, Jimin?” Minjeong proposes. 

Jimin nods. She feels herself tearing up once again as she hears the sentence roll off Minjeong’s lips. Something in Jimin sparks twice the way it did last time. Minjeong leans in for a kiss. This time, Jimin lets herself loose and feels every emotion Minjeong is making her feel. This time, Jimin lets herself be under Minjeong’s care properly. She feels Minjeong’s right hand leaving her face. 

Minjeong breaks their moment, muttering a ‘thank you’. Jimin opens her eyes to look at Minjeong. Just before she gets to ask why she kissed her for a few seconds only, Jimin feels her heart jumping out her chest.

Kim Minjeong, smiling ever so tenderly with her face illuminated by the street lights, looking at her with such genuine eyes that anyone would long for, holding out an ivory ring box in front of her. 

“I might have to ask this too, Yu Jimin.” Minjeong stops her sentence before opening the box in front of her, showing a white gold trinity ring. She wiggles the box softly. “Are you ready to be my wife, for the rest of my life?”

Jimin swears she can relive this moment many times, infinite times. “I am, Kim Minjeong.” 

Minjeong giggles. She puts the ring in her ring finger. The ring fits so perfectly, and Jimin falls in love all over again with the love of her life.

“Will you stay the night, for tonight?” Jimin asks. Minjeong brings up her hand to caress Jimin’s head, pushing away the hair that falls on the side of her face.

“I'll stay the night, princess.” Minjeong replies. 

This time, their kiss lasts more than a few seconds. 

-

Michaela Angemeer once said, 

“For the avoidant:

What if you didn't run, just this once? What if you took a deep breath and asked yourself what it means to trust? What if trust means staying? You are worthy of giving yourself a chance at love. Maybe there's not something wrong with everyone you've ever tried to love. Maybe finding their flaws is your way of protecting yourself. I know you've spent your whole life thinking that it's easier to be alone. That growing up, it was easier to be alone. It's not your fault you were taught that vulnerability equals pain. This is your permission to honour your desire for connection. To give yourself grace for your hyperindependence. To start looking at everything you love about love instead of everything that scares you.”