Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Luck, Sanji found, was a fickle thing.

He stared at his die, glared at it, as if the number would magically change, but it didn’t.

It had to be a mistake. It must be.

A nat 20. Sanji had rolled a natural 20.

Either the universe was playing a terrible joke on him, or he had somehow managed to get his hands on Usopp's loaded dice. How was it possible that now, of all times, he managed to roll a nat 20? It was preposterous. Ludicrous.

Vivi, Usopp and Nami did a terrible job hiding their snickering. Sanji put his head in his hands. Took in a deep breath. He was going to do this. He had to. This was being recorded, and he couldn’t let Vivi down by losing his resolve.

“So, Mosshead, what d’ya say? Wanna ditch this party and get outta here?” Sanji winked at Zoro, giving him his best winning smile, making sure the camera got it too.

The green-haired oaf sitting across the table grimaced, swallowing, and if Sanji didn’t know any better he could have sworn the guy blushed. Usopp gave him a thumbs up. Zoro rolled his eyes. “Sure, cook.” Tacky. But it would do. “Lead the way.”

Two Months Ago…

Sanji swung on his jacket and shut the door of The Baratie, locking it behind him. Vivi looked up from her phone and smiled at him; hopefully she hadn’t been waiting long. She had class that ran late every week nearby, so they usually commuted back together, but Sanji’s shift ran a bit later than he had anticipated.

Vivi stuck her phone into her bag and stretched, her dyed-blue hair spilling out of her winter hat. She yawned, and started walking. “How was work?”

“Same old, same old,” said Sanji, keeping pace behind her. “I’m excited to get home and sleep.” He cracked his neck and took a couple of larger steps to catch up and walk beside her.

Vivi looked at Sanji, biting her lip like she did when she got excited about something. Sanji made a small motion to indicate he was listening. She cleared her throat. “So. I’ve been working on something new.” Her breath puffed out in the cold air, and Sanji raised a brow. She cracked a grin. “What do you think about playing in a homebrew pirate-themed DND game for a podcast?”

Sanji blinked. “I—huh? How long ‘you been stewing on this one?”

Vivi shrugged. “Ever since we finished our last campaign,” she said, coming to a stop next to the street poll.

“Holy hell, that long!? That’s amazing!” he exclaimed, “Obviously I’ll do it.”

The bus pulled up in front of them and they boarded. It was nice and warm inside, and they managed to find two seats together near the back.

“Did you have other players in mind? Usopp should be free but you know Kaya and Koza have been swamped lately…” mulled Sanji, rubbing his hands together to warm himself.

“Well,” she said, looking away. “So…I’ve been seeing this girl…”

“What!? No way! Vivi! For how long? Who? Do I know her?”

“Her name’s Nami—” she sifted through her bag— “Hold on…” She pulled out her phone, swiped through, and turned it around to show Sanji an image of a gorgeous woman with chin-length dyed-orange hair. She was laughing, caught in a candid moment while holding a can of beer.

She wasn’t the only person in the image, a couple of guys laughing behind her, one with a huge grin, and the other sporting eye-catching dyed-green hair.

“Oh wow, she’s absolutely gorgeous! I’m so happy for you,” said Sanji.

“Yes, yes get it all out of your system now. She’s just as gay as I am,” she said. “She introduced me to two of her friends and I think you, Usopp and them should be perfect for what I’m planning.”

“Well, I’m definitely looking forward to it,” said Sanji. “Have they played any table-top RPGs before?”

“Nami has, but not her friends. I formed a plan basically the moment I met them. I was thinking maybe you could help one of them make their character?”

“Sure, ‘course!”

“I’ll go over all the details later and when we do session zero. You’re free Saturday right? I was hoping you and Usopp could come to my house with the rest of them!”

Sanji opened his calendar app and marked it down. “I’ll be there. And I’ll bring food, of course. Any allergies?” Vivi shook her head. The bus lurched to a stop and Sanji glanced outside. “Ah, this is my stop!” He jumped up, giving her a wave as he exited, “See you Saturday!”

His mind was already whirring with ideas for his character. He’d been meaning to do a spin on a monk, one who only kicked, and maybe he could finally do that ‘secret prince’ backstory he’d been mulling over…

Hopefully the new people wouldn’t have too much trouble getting into the swing of things. He thought back to the picture Vivi had shown him of Nami. Were the guys in the photo the ones she invited to play? They definitely seemed… interesting. Either way, he trusted Vivi. Whoever these guys were, Sanji was sure they’d get along.

…

Sanji arrived half an hour early to help Vivi set up and to organize her kitchen for his purposes. Usopp was next, Sanji’s younger friend who he met during an elective they shared in his third year. He immediately turned on the television and set up his party playlist to cast through the speakers.

A few minutes later, as the three friends wrapped up their typical routine, the doorbell rang and in the doorway stood the three people Sanji recognized from the image. In front stood Vivi’s girlfriend, Nami, wearing a long fashionable coat with her car-keys in hand. The guys stood taller behind her, the shorter of the two shifting from side to side, his eyes lighting up when the door opened.

“Come on in!” Vivi welcomed them brightly.

“Do I smell meat?!” The lanky guy seemed to be about to sprint into the house, but Nami grabbed his hood, his trajectory cut short.

She dropped him and flicked his head. “Take off your shoes first, you dolt!”

The two scuffled for a bit and Sanji snorted, letting his attention drift to the tall green-haired man, who quietly removed his winter gear and let himself into the house. Now that Sanji had a good look at him, he realized the man was rather attractive. The hair was an… interesting choice but it actually suited him in a weird, charming sort of way. He wore three dangling gold earrings on his left ear, and they swung gently as he plopped himself down on the couch next to the television facing the kitchen.

Their eyes met. Sanji, caught staring, cocked his eyebrow, quirking his lips into an inviting smirk. The green-haired man huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back, not making any motion to move from his spot.

Sanji’s vision was suddenly obstructed by the smaller of the two men, the kid with the curly black hair peering over the kitchen island where Sanji had set up his hors d'oeuvres. “What is all this stuff? It looks so good!”

He made to answer, but Nami got to him first. “Do you ever think with anything other than your stomach? At least introduce yourself first, honestly…”

Vivi giggled, and Nami turned to her, giving a sheepish grin and shrug. Nami grabbed Luffy’s shirt collar and dragged him to the couches, flinging him down on one.

“Come on!” he complained, “The guy didn’t say no!”

Sanji glanced at Usopp, who seemed to be a tad overwhelmed. He silently pleaded Sanji for help and Sanji simply motioned for him to follow him to join the rest of them, bringing the first tray with him.

“You’re more than welcome to take some, I made it to be eaten after all,” he said, holding it out for Vivi’s guests. He flicked a sideways glance to the green-haired man, who was still staring at him.

“Hell yeah!” The lanky guy immediately grabbed a fistful of his artfully presented petit fours and shoved them into his mouth, saying between mouthfuls, “This is really good!”

Nami sighed, putting her head in her hands. “I don’t know why I even bother.” She straightened herself up and took one herself. “Thank you—”

“Sanji,” he introduced himself, watching eagerly as she took a bite.

“Mm! Wow, this is fantastic!”

“I’m very glad you think so, mademoiselle,” he said, using his other hand to take Nami’s in his own and pressing a chaste kiss to it. She looked down at him with an incredulously flat expression, and then peered over his shoulder to presumably make eye contact with Vivi who started laughing.

“Why don’t we all introduce ourselves?” Vivi gently split Sanji away from her girlfriend, and Sanji stepped back, placing the tray on the coffee table and taking his seat on the reading chair.

“I’m Monkey D. Luffy!” the lanky kid announced without looking up, still distracted by the food in front of him.

“Right, right. I’m Nami, it’s good to meet you two,” she nodded to Sanji and Usopp.

“Same here!” said Usopp, “I’m Usopp, but I’m sure Vivi has already told you all about me and my amazing roleplaying skills and endless wit,” he said, saluting with two fingers.

Nami laughed. “She has actually, you and Sanji both.” The girls shared another look, a hint of humour behind their smiles.

Sanji couldn’t help but feel his chest warm. Now that he finally saw them together, he realized Vivi’s really found someone special. It’d been a few months since Vivi broke up with Koza after her belated lesbian awakening; she’d been going on a few dates here and there, but Sanji could tell that she hadn’t really connected with anyone. The way she looked at Nami though—he could tell that they were made for each other.

He hated that he also felt a twinge of jealousy. It wasn’t for lack of trying, maybe even trying too hard, but it seemed that dating and Sanji were not meant to be. He still longed to find a connection, his romantic heart unchanged, but he’d given up on that prospect after his last bad break-up. It had been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Unconsciously, he let his gaze fall back to the green-haired man. His gaze on Sanji was fierce, scrutinizing. It lit a fire under Sanji that he wasn’t quite familiar with, which caught him off guard.

“Zoro, aren’t you going to introduce yourself?” Luffy whined, flopping bodily on the larger man’s lap.

Zoro cringed, but didn't move Luffy off of him. “I think you just did that for me.”

Nami tutted and rolled her eyes. She addressed Usopp and Sanji. “The rude idiot there is Zoro. Roronoa Zoro, you should look him up, his cyber footprint is hilarious.”

“What, you famous or something?” asked Sanji. Zoro snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Yo—you’re a stunt double man!? That’s awesome!” Usopp was on his phone, presumably looking at Zoro’s aforementioned ‘cyber footprint’. He handed his phone to Sanji. “He’s like a famous kendo champ too—”

Sanji took the phone, a tad curious, and sure enough, the man sitting in front of him had a decent IMDB page, some titles Sanji even recognized. Something was bugging him though, so he backtracked to the main search engine. Skimming through some interview articles, it seemed that this guy was a bit infamously horrible at public relations.

“Vivi-sweet, are you sure this is the right person to hire for a long term podcast?” he asked.

Zoro sat up. “Oi—”

“This is what I’ve been saying!” Nami agreed.

“Oi!”

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Vivi waved her off, “Didn’t Luffy say his friend would take care of all the editing and social media?”

“Oh yeah, Koby’s great!” Luffy chimed in.

As the group fell into a rhythm, Sanji immediately understood what Vivi had been talking about. The energies they all brought fit perfectly together, like how a sharp salt could cut into something sweet, creating a whole new harmonious yet dissonant flavour. Even though he had just met three of the people in the room, he felt right at home with them, skipping right over the awkward acquaintance stage.

“So, what are everyone’s drink orders?” he asked.

…

Setting himself up behind the counter for a bit, Sanji mixed the requested cocktails and prepared the next few platters he wanted to show off. Usopp had drifted to the kitchen with him too, hovering over Sanji as he worked.

“So, you’ll take the scary kendo guy right?” asked Usopp.

Sanji poured some rum into a shot glass and then into the cocktail he was mixing. “Huh?”

“Vivi asked you to help one of the new guys with their character sheet too, right?” Sanji raised his brow and nodded. “Well, I call dibs on the nice one!”

Sanji rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure, doesn’t make a difference to me. Here.” He handed Usopp his drink, ignoring his betrayal for company, and headed over to the girls to present them with their cocktails.

After serving Nami and Vivi with the drinks and food he prepped, the three of them caught up, Sanji and Nami exchanging a few introductory pleasantries. Apparently Nami was a climatologist with a passion for cartography, and got into role playing games to draw maps.

“You should see them, they’re gorgeous!” Vivi had said.

It didn’t take long at all for him to fall into a rhythm with the two of them, and after a while, Sanji turned to the new faces, finally getting onto the subject at hand. “So, anything else I should know about ‘Mr. PR Disaster’ before acquainting myself?”

The girls shared a look. Then, Nami smiled cryptically. “I think you and Zoro will get along swimmingly.”

“I’ve elected to start calling him ‘Mr. Bushido’ myself,” said Vivi, “Don’t ask him about swords.”

“Noted.”

“He’s a bit of an idiot, so, good luck,” said Nami, giving him a flat expression and a thumbs up.

Sanji chuckled, turning back towards Zoro. When he did, Zoro was staring at him, alone at the table, leaning against it. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle. Sanji snorted and approached him, feeling the look to be a challenge of sorts.

“Care for a drink?” Sanji asked, a teasing lilt to the way he presented the tray.

Zoro snorted, unimpressed. “You supposed to be Vivi’s waiter or somethin’?”

“Ha! You wish,” he said, “I’ll have you know I am the sous-chef at The Baratie.” No look of recognition, so he added, “Michelin star restaurant downtown. You should come by sometime—” he smirked— “Grass-head.”

“Grass-head?” Zoro’s eyes flicked upwards, then back to Sanji. “You can do better than that, waiter.” His tone stayed dry, but Sanji could hear the edge of humour under it. So that’s how he was playing things, eh? Zoro took the cocktail from the tray and gulped down half the glass. “Mm. A bit sweet for my taste.”

“Well, you better finish it anyway,” said Sanji, tutting, “I don’t like seeing things go to waste.”

Zoro hummed out a laugh, bringing the glass back to his lips and swallowing down the rest of the drink. “Never said I wouldn’t.” He belched.

“Eugh. How is someone as radiant as Nami friends with a brute like you?”

From across the room, Nami belched even louder and longer. Zoro smirked at Sanji.

…

A week later, Sanji found himself entertaining what was very likely a sentient house-plant in his own apartment.

“So,” Sanji said, placing two beers on the coffee table, and the food he made; meat and veggie skewers, “what do you have for me, Moss?”

“Moss?” asked Zoro, already popping open the bottle with his fingernail (impressive) and chugging it.

“Well, you didn’t appreciate ‘grass-head’ so I’ve been brainstorming.” He took out his character sheet and the empty one he prepared for Zoro (he knew there was no way Zoro actually did any work beforehand) and flattened them on the table.

“Is plant-life the only thing your shitty waiter brain can come up with?” Zoro kicked his feet up onto the table right next to the food. Sanji grimaced.

“Down,” Sanji said, “Now.”

“Didn’t mean to offend ‘her royal highness’,” Zoro muttered as he complied, making a show of swinging his legs back to the floor where they belonged.

“It’s basic manners!” Sanji scolded, “Nobody should have to tell you to keep your caveman feet off of a table—especially one we’re eating at! Honestly…”

He cursed Usopp for sticking him with this guy, and himself for agreeing to it. Although… Zoro was fun to bicker with. And, to his shock, the guy was actually his age; Vivi was lovely but their four year age difference made it difficult to relate to her in some aspects. She was just starting college while Sanji had graduated earlier that year.

The December sun had set depressingly early, but despite barely knowing the guy, the mood was strangely comfortable and warm. Familiar. Maybe it had something to do with how Zoro apparently had no concept of personal boundaries and stomped around the place like he lived here before planting himself on the couch.

It was Sanji’s day off work, so he decided it was as good a time as ever to have his new DND party member over to work on their character sheet. He had already finished his; he met with Vivi earlier to talk about backstories and the lore of the world. She said she probably wouldn’t touch his character’s backstory for a while, which Sanji was perfectly fine with. He could keep a secret.

He used a heavily edited version of his own sheet as an example to teach Zoro the basics. The guy actually shut up and listened to what Sanji had to say, which was more than he was expecting.

“Why the curly eyebrows?” was the first thing he asked after Sanji wrapped up.

Well. He couldn’t very well just reveal that piece of information. “Why not? They’re distinct. We might gain a fan-base, y’know. Gotta give the fan artists something to latch onto.”

“Well, it’s fucking stupid.”

“Even more stupid than dyeing your hair green?”

“Why are you so fixated on my hair?” asked Zoro. He downed the rest of his beer. “Bring it up that much, and I’m gonna start to think you actually like it.”

“As if.” Sanji snorted. “You should make your character’s hair green too. But au naturel. It’d be funny.”

“Yeah, alright, sure. Just to prove that these ‘fans’ will like it better than your stupid twirly eyebrows.”

“Sounds like someone has ‘latched onto’ the eyebrows already. Could it be that I have my first fan? Would you like my autograph Mossy? Hmm?” He batted his eyelashes and smirked, getting right up into Zoro’s personal space.

If Sanji didn’t know any better, he could have sworn Zoro’s cheeks darkened.

Must have been a trick of the light.

Session Zero: “Romance Dawn”…

“After smashing the rice balls under the heels of his feet, Helmeppo insults Rika, and she starts crying her eyes out. So, he picks her up and tosses her back over the wall,” narrated Vivi, accenting it by motioning a throw. Sanji flinched in shock, along with the rest of the table. Vivi looked at Zoro. He said nothing.

Sanji eyed Zoro warily. He had his arms crossed, he wasn’t looking at his character sheet, but at least he didn’t seem bored. Just, completely silent. Sanji sighed. He didn’t want to interfere, but this idiot should be at least helping a bit. He trusted Vivi’s instincts though, so he stayed quiet.

“Oo! I’m there still, right? I go to catch her!” said Luffy.

“You have to roll for that,” said Usopp helpfully. He was peering over Luffy’s shoulders, gently reminding Luffy that he had to actually use his character stats and not do whatever he wanted.

“For acrobatics, I’d say,” said Vivi, smiling.

“Gotcha!” Luffy shook the D20 in his hands with an exaggerated vigor, and threw it onto the table. “Eighteen!”

“That’d do it, but try and add your modifier next time,” said Vivi, as patient as ever.

Usopp started muttering to Luffy what that meant, and Sanji watched as they went back and forth a bit more. Selfishly, he smirked. Seemed like he got the easier job. Usopp gave him the stink-eye, clearly able to tell what he was thinking.

The game progressed, and eventually Luffy ended up at Zoro’s character’s feet in the courtyard, which Nami had made a beautiful map for. He asked Zoro to join his crew, and Zoro declined. Again. Sanji huffed. Hadn’t he ever heard of ‘yes, and’?

“Alright then, off I go,” said Luffy, not seeming to care that Zoro was making this incredibly difficult for him.

“Before you go,” said Zoro, in character, leaning forward in his chair, “Do you think you could pick up those rice balls for me?”

Sanji raised his brow. What was he playing at?

“Huh? You mean the ones that marine guy stomped on? Wouldn’t they basically be dirt by now?”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Zoro, “I open up my mouth, and tell you to feed it to me. Every last grain of rice.”

Sanji crossed his arms, watching Zoro. His heart started thumping in his ears. He was being genuine, Sanji could tell. He suddenly remembered Zoro finishing that sweet cocktail Sanji made when they first met at Vivi’s even though he didn’t like it.

“Alright, whatever you say!”

Sanji glanced over to Vivi, who was watching the exchange with a smile on her face. So this is what she meant.

The tips of Sanji’s ears burned.

Session One: “East Blue”…

“I’d like to try my luck wooing the wonderful lady seated at table eight,” said Sanji, already rolling his die. He frowned at the number. He sighed. Even with his charisma modifier, it ironically matched the table number of his object of affections.

Zoro laughed. Sanji glared at him. “Can’t even get any in a game,” he said. “Kind of pathetic honestly.”

Sanji sputtered. “You’re one to talk! Your charisma’s dogshit, you couldn’t even bag a chick with a nat 20!”

“See, the fact that you think saying those words in that order is an insult to me just proves my point.”

“Boys…” Vivi warned gently.

“Apologies Vivi-dear,” he said, “It was just bad luck, alright? There’s a lotta ladies out there, just gotta keep trying.” He grinned wolfishly. Zoro rolled his eyes.

After that, Zoro’s character almost died fighting the greatest swordsman in the world (he almost failed his death saving throws—serves him right), Sanji officially joined the crew, and the Straw Hat Pirates were off on their sea-faring adventures.

On their second shoot day for the session, they played through Vivi’s absolute masterpiece of an arc set at Cocoyashi Village. Of course, when introduced, Sanji decided to try his luck with Nojiko. (“My sister? Really?” Nami deadpanned.) With completely baseless confidence, he threw a two, making six. Even worse than last time. Well, third time’s the charm, right?

At Loguetown, Vivi blessed him with a gorgeous chef character who he had a surprise shared history with. She had them compete in a cooking contest, which he of course won, but then when he rolled to court the lovely lady he got—

“A nat one?!”

Usopp lost it.

“Now this is just getting sad,” said Zoro. Sanji glared at him. “Let’s get back to me already. You said the sword in the barrel’s cursed, right?”

“Sure did,” said Vivi.

“Alright, I stick out my arm, and toss the sword into the air.”

“What!? Are you insane!?” yelled Usopp. Luffy started laughing. Nami put her head in her hands.

Zoro was looking at Sanji, grinning ear to ear. Sanji sighed. “Never do anything at half-measure, do you, Mosshead?”

“Roll with disadvantage please,” said Vivi.

Zoro picked up his two D20s and dropped them on the table unceremoniously. Sanji looked at them. Blinked. The numbers didn’t change.

Zoro had rolled two twenties.

“Holy shit,” said Sanji.

“Holy shit!” yelled Usopp.

“Try getting luckier than that,” said Zoro.

Session Two: “Baroque Works”...

Sanji was starting to think his dice were broken.

Or maybe, not that he would blame anything so malicious on Vivi, but it seemed to Sanji like she was starting to use her female NPCs just to flirt with Nami.

Of course, Nami couldn’t possibly have all of them. Right?

It was clear to Sanji that the blue haired princess Vivi introduced was off limits, so he’d stayed away. Easy enough.

And maybe all of the women he supposedly scored on Whiskey Peak were a thinly veiled trap, and ended with him rolling with disadvantage to see through the bounty hunter island’s tricks.

So, okay. Maybe he was getting a bit frustrated. And maybe Zoro’s constant jabs and insults were getting to him. Not to mention the mosshead was constantly getting the spotlight. It was unfair.

Little Garden was the last straw. That idiot Zoro had challenged Sanji to a hunting contest, and in some absolute comedy of errors, Sanji managed to miss the entire fight. Yes, Zoro did almost die again and almost lost his legs which was objectively funny, but still.

Sanji was pissed.

Could Sanji, really, truly be blamed for what happened next?

“I’m surprised you didn’t try and woo any dinosaurs, Dartbrow.”

“Can it,” Sanji snapped in his character’s accent, then sagged. “I swear, these dice are cursed!”

“Maybe they just know how much of a loser you are.” Zoro leaned back in his chair, clearly having fun with this.

“Oi, it’s not just flirting, I haven’t seen any action either!” They were supposed to wrap their shoot an hour ago. Sanji’s temper was even shorter than usual.

Zoro snorted. “No such thing as a cursed die, waiter. You’re just unlucky.”

“I swear, I could roll to seduce you and it wouldn’t make a difference!” It was a joke. Zoro was supposed to laugh it off.

The other man’s entire demeanour shifted. “Oh yeah?” He leaned on his fist, smiling lazily at Sanji. “Try it then. I dare you.”

Sanji couldn’t stop himself. “Fine then!”

And, before processing what he’d just agreed to, Sanji rolled for charisma.

He saw Zoro’s jaw drop before he saw the number.

Fuck.

For the first time in the entire run of this campaign, Sanji rolled a natural 20.

So, here Sanji was, forced to flirt with Zoro, on camera, during their Luffy-mandated post-battle feast.

And for some god forsaken reason, the idiotic, somewhat good looking, green-haired moron was going along with it.

Fine. Whatever. Two could play at that game. Sanji was a master at this. His flirtation skills were off the charts, despite what Zoro had to say about it, and he’d go all out.

Surely Zoro’s luck was bound to run out one of these days.

Zoro must be the luckiest guy in the universe.

When Nami had told him her new girlfriend wanted him to play in some ‘Dungeons and Dragons podcast’, Zoro was a bit wary, but she said it’d clear some of his debt, so he agreed.

Luckily for him, deciding to do it led to him meeting an infuriatingly good looking waiter. As soon as Zoro saw him, he decided he’d do anything to make him his.

The waiter was…well, he was a lot of things. An enigma that Zoro enjoyed figuring out, one taunt at a time. Bickering with Nami was always fun, but she wasn’t as quick to annoy as their new blonde friend, plus he wasn’t constantly trying to con him into debt. Already a winner where Zoro was concerned.

Not one to rush things, he figured he could play the long game and see where things took him. Plus, he really enjoyed pissing the guy off. As far as he could tell, the waiter was just as enthusiastic, which spurred Zoro on even more, testing the limits of their strange flirtatious bickering.

His patience finally paid off when, during their third shoot (second official ‘session’), he somehow managed to egg the cook into flirting with him. Really flirting with him. Well, his character, but close enough.

“Didn’t take you for the type, ladies man,” he said. The cook’s face was crimson. Absolutely priceless.

“I—” he grumbled something under his breath, in what Zoro thought sounded like French, then changed his demeanor, straightening up and flashing Zoro a smarmy grin. “I can appreciate any good looking body.” He smirked, looking Zoro up and down.

This was not how he usually roleplayed his horrid attempts at seducing the female NPCs. Weird. “I guess beggars can’t be choosers,” said Zoro, and the waiter almost lost his cool facade, but Zoro didn’t give him a chance to, saying, “Though, you’re not so bad looking yourself, cook.”

Usopp wolf whistled. Nami and Vivi shared a knowing look. Luffy picked his nose.

“So,” the waiter said, swallowing. “We’re really doing this?”

“Hey now,” said Zoro, “Might as well make good use of this long rest ahead of us.”

Usopp started cackling. Sanji’s blush deepened as he sunk into his chair.

Oh yeah, Zoro was going to have a lot of fun with this. Turns out this roleplaying shit wasn’t half bad.

…

After their shoot, Zoro was feeling pretty confident. He and Sanji had a bit of a strange relationship, sure, but based on their few interactions, Zoro could tell there was a spark worth exploring.

See, Zoro had never had trouble with rejection. Despite his admittedly not so favourable reputation with the press, he still had a small but loyal fanbase, and his fair share of resulting trysts.

Not usually one for romance, his dating experience was small, but not non-existent. He was willing to go through the motions if the other party wanted to, though it didn’t really make a difference to him either way. Watching the waiter, with his romantic platitudes in and outside of the game, Zoro figured a date would be what he’d want.

He slid up to him as he packed up his satchel and bundled up his coat. Stood a bit too close for comfort, drawing an exasperated sigh out of the waiter and a “what do you want?”

Zoro grinned. “You free Tuesday?”

Sanji stared at him. Of course, Zoro knew he was free. The man had told him that it was his day off the last time they got together. “I guess. Why? You need more tutelage? Because, honestly, I think you’re a lost cause at this point.”

“Hmm, well, I was actually thinking something more like dinner and a movie?”

Zoro would never forget the immediate shift in Sanji’s expression. He sucked in a breath, stumbled back, and looked almost scared. It…well it stung, a bit.

“I—I’m sorry,” he said. “I can’t.”

That was it. No further explanation. He pushed past Zoro and walked out the door before he even had a chance to ask.

That was not how he had expected that to go. At all. He frowned, trying to process what had gone so wrong. Had he really misread their relationship that poorly?

Well, either way, he got his answer. He’d just have to forget about the waiter and move on.

If only things were that simple.

…

The next time Zoro saw Sanji, he acted like nothing had happened between them, so Zoro played along, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

He didn’t want the waiter to know that the rejection still hurt. That he still couldn’t take his mind off of him.

It was easy enough to avoid him. Vivi had made a couple new friends/potential additional party members and invited them all out to a night of bowling. They stood on opposite sides of the crowd, and Zoro focused on the two new faces.

“Nico Robin,” the tall, black haired woman introduced herself, “It’s wonderful to meet you all, Vivi’s told me a lot about you.”

She and Vivi had explained how through an insane set of events, the two of them used to be pseudo enemies turned friends. “My dad and her old boss were political rivals, but it turned out her boss was running a shit ton of illegal businesses and had been committing insane voter fraud behind the scenes for years. Robin had actually been working for him to collect the data and present a solid case against him in court. I won’t say anything more because it’s kind of the inspiration I have for the next big arc…”

“That’s insane!” the other newbie yelled. He flushed as all the eyes in the room turned to him. “Uh—sorry. I’m Tony Chopper. It’s nice to meet all of you!”

The little guy was unassuming, but he was apparently two years ahead in his schooling, only eighteen and on track to be a licensed doctor within the next few years. Of course, the first one to welcome them with open arms was Luffy, and Zoro cracked a smile, expecting nothing less from his oldest friend.

Starting up the game, Zoro was amazed to find that two of them immediately fit right in with his quickly expanding little friend group. Zoro didn’t even mind when he ended up in a lane with Chopper, Vivi and Robin, his two high school friends off with Usopp and Sanji.

Sanji.

He swallowed, focusing on the game. As long as they avoided each other, he’d be fine. He’d stick to his lane, and Sanji would stick to the other.

Zoro was not interested in wasting time thinking about someone who clearly didn’t return the favour.

…

If Zoro was expecting the waiter to leave things alone and let things blow over, he would have had to forget who it was he was dealing with. His tendency to send incredibly mixed signals was starting to get on Zoro’s nerves, but the waiter’s polarizing behaviour was unfortunately something that Zoro was attracted to as well.

They had been avoiding each other just fine. In fact, if Sanji had continued to avoid him like he was doing, maybe Zoro could finally stop thinking about his skillful hands when he mixed their drinks, the way he seemed to have a different, equally stupid, coordinated suit each time he saw him, the way he looked at Zoro in way that made Zoro want to both punch him in the face and mash their lips together…

So, maybe Zoro was fucked. Maybe avoiding Sanji wasn’t making things any better, and Zoro would just have to deal with living in unrequited hell forever.

At least Zoro could continue their little relationship in the game. It might have been wishful thinking, but he knew Sanji wouldn’t break character, and would stick with it. And, maybe, if they continued with it enough in the game, things could change.

If he couldn’t get over the waiter, maybe he could get the waiter to come around to him. He just needed to wait for the weekend, and he could set his plan in motion.

What Zoro wasn’t anticipating though, were his plans being foiled by natural selection.

Zoro never got sick.

Thinking back, all the way as far as he could remember, he couldn’t remember a single time he so much as had the sniffles.

So, when he woke up on the day they were meant to shoot their fourth session with a ridiculously high fever, Zoro couldn’t help but think this was karma for his character’s streak of good fortune.

Vivi assured him that it was perfectly alright, and that it’d probably work in the game’s favour since Chopper would be getting the highlight this week anyways. It would be easy enough to write him out for the session.

Fuck, his head hurt like a bitch.

He rolled over in bed and decided to get back to sleep. He had been really looking forward to seeing Sanji again… He studied pick-up lines and everything. He supposed they’d be just as good for the next one, but it’d already been a week and a half since he saw the sous-chef.

It wasn’t like he could run into Sanji on campus like the others; they’d both been out of college for a while. There was really no excuse for him to see him outside of their group get-togethers and for their shoots. He groaned into his pillow, wishing he could think of quite literally anything else, and promptly fell asleep.

That night, a few hours after he was given an update to say the shoot went well, his doorbell rang. That was odd. Maybe Luffy or Nami decided to swing by to check up on him? He sighed.

Might as well get out of bed. He felt absolutely disgusting. He was covered in sweat, his hair probably matted, and his eyes were crusty. He had been drinking water, and had a slice of bread earlier, but that was about it.

He stumbled to the door, and flicked open the peep hole. Before he could get a good look, a voice called from outside, “Oi, Marimo, it’s me, open up.”

Sanji. Sanji was here? Fuck. He did not want the waiter to see him like this. He said nothing.

“I know you’re there, Zoro, I heard your footsteps. I won’t judge, promise.” His voice had become softer.

Fuck that guy, honestly. Zoro grunted, annoyed.

He couldn’t very well tell him to go home.

Zoro opened the door.

Sure enough, there stood the waiter, holding two bags filled to the brim with who knew what. He was wearing one of his nicely tailored suits like usual, his blonde hair swooping around those pretty blue eyes.

“You look like shit,” said Sanji.

“I thought you ‘weren’t going to judge,’” said Zoro, too tired to come up with a proper comeback. Sanji continued standing there. “Are you going to come in, or are you secretly a vampire who needs an invitation?” A feeble attempt. He sounded weak. He felt weak.

Why the fuck was the waiter here?

Sanji rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything more, entering Zoro’s apartment and walking right to the kitchen. Zoro shut the door and followed behind him.

The waiter dumped whatever it was he brought on Zoro’s counters and turned. “And what exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“Making sure you don’t—” a wave of nausea passed through him and he almost gagged. He swallowed, regaining his composure—“ruin my kitchen.”

Sanji gave him an incredibly flat expression. “Right. You’re clearly delirious. I’ll chalk that insult up to that.” He flicked his wrist at Zoro. “Back to bed with you.”

What? What was even happening?

“Why are you here?”

At that, Sanji pursed his lips. Looked to the floor. Zoro waited. “Just—Clearly, you need someone here to take care of you, Marimo, you can’t just very well go and die and leave Nami and Vivi down a cast member.”

Zoro stared at him. Could it be that Sanji actually cared? He opened his mouth. Closed it again. “You called me ‘Marimo’ again, that’s a new one,” he decided on.

“Watch the new episode and you’ll get it, moron, just go to bed. Maybe shower. I’ll…bring you some soup in half an hour.”

And that was that. Zoro took a cold shower, the water making him feel a bit less like death, and flopped back onto his bed, not really lucid enough to do or care about anything else.

A tentative knock brought Zoro back to the present. He had fallen into an unpleasant dreamless sleep again and he felt incredibly disoriented.

“Come in,” he called, his voice a lot weaker than he meant it to be. The door creaked open and Sanji walked in, holding the tray Zoro kept in his living room for couch dinners.

“Mind if I turn on the lights?”

Zoro grunted in affirmation. He regretted it immediately when the light assaulted his vision, and he threw his arm over his eyes to block it. Being sick fucking sucked.

The waiter set the tray down on the nightstand, and Zoro felt the mattress dip next to him as Sanji sat. Then, Sanji’s hand was on Zoro’s forehead, and the cool touch was so nice Zoro felt himself leaning into it before he realized what he was doing.

“Shit, you’re burnin’ up. When was the last time you took meds?”

It took a minute to register he was being spoken to. “Huh?”

“Medication; aspirin, ibuprofen, whatever?”

Zoro closed his eyes. “Like…a couple months ago? Why?”

Silence. “Oh my god.” A berate of French curses. “You’re serious. Sometimes I think you’re playing up your idiocy in the game but you really are hopeless, aren’t you?” Sanji was insulting him, but his voice was soft. Fond, almost.

Zoro hummed. He was exhausted. Having Sanji here was nice. They were supposed to be avoiding each other but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as he ate the delicious soup, popped some pain meds, and allowed Sanji to put a wet cloth over his forehead, sticking around to make sure Zoro’s fever broke.

If getting sick allowed him to see this side of Sanji, soft and caring, maybe it wasn’t all bad after all.

Two days later, watching through the latest episode of the podcast, Zoro took back all his nice thoughts as Sanji suggested throwing Zoro’s absent character into a freezing lake and the crew going along with it.

It pissed him off and, naturally, he started to fall for Sanji a little bit more.

Chapter Text

“Do I really have to act like I’m in a relationship with that guy next session…?”

Sanji slowly spun his empty mug around in a circle. He’d gone over to Usopp’s to work on his recipes while his friend studied, but couldn’t concentrate.

“You were the one who decided to seduce him, dude,” Usopp chimed in, unhelpfully

Sanji thumped his head on the table. “Don’t remind me. I’m telling you, I’m cursed! Can’t even phase him either… he’s like… fuck! I hate him.”

Hated how flustered he got. Hated how it was actually somewhat enjoyable.

“The fans are eating it up though. You can’t just drop it now!”

Sanji looked up at that. “Since when did we have fans?”

“Uh, since the last episode dropped. Haven’t you been checking the group chat?” Usopp fished out his phone, and swiped through it until he found what he was looking for. “Comment from ‘BartoBarbarian’ reads ‘I’M YOUR BIGGEST FAN STRAW HATS’ — wait hold on it’s a massive paragraph — here, ‘...and Zoro and Sanji have such great chemistry, are they dating IRL like Nami and Vivi? I’ve got to know!! Their characters are so perfect for each other!!’”

“The fuck?” said Sanji. “Lemme see that.” He grabbed Usopp’s phone and read through the comment. Sure enough, it was exactly what Usopp had read off. “Okay, well, this guy is clearly insane. And it’s just one guy, why should I care?”

“It’s not just him—look!” Usopp collapsed the massive comment to make room for the others. A lot of theorizing about Vivi’s amazing worldbuilding and plot, but, to Sanji’s complete mortification, there were a good number of messages commenting on Zoro and Sanji’s supposed ‘chemistry’. There was even one saying he and Zoro looked ‘hot’ together.

He felt his body temperature steadily rise. “This—I’ll just have to break up with Zoro’s character in the game. This is fuckin’ creepy.”

Was his little crush really that obvious? Wait. Crush? Is that what this was? Did he seriously have a crush on Zoro?

Usopp scoffed. “Yeah, good luck with that, man.”

Sanji was royally fucked.

Session Four: “Alabasta”...

This time, Sanji tried something a bit different.

Vivi had just introduced Luffy’s older brother, Ace, and he was hot. If seducing lovely ladies was out of the question, maybe he could at least get out of his little predicament by hitting on another guy.

“So, hotshot, what d’ya think about having some fun before skipping town?”

Vivi raised her brows, unimpressed. “Alright, Casanova, let’s see what you get,” she said, nodding to Sanji’s die. Before rolling, he couldn’t help but glance over to Zoro, who looked at him with that horrible grin, clearly insulting him inside his head. Fucking bastard.

Sanji took his die in his hand, closed his eyes, prayed to god, and rolled. When he opened his eyes, he was faced with a miserable five.

“Sorry, man,” said Vivi, her voice deepened to a smarmy drawl, “As much as I’d like to, I’m in a race against the clock, and apparently three big logs.” Then, her expression shifted, her eyes twinkling suspiciously. “Plus, wouldn’t your swordsman boyfriend get jealous?”

Sanji sputtered. “My—Vivi—I mean—” he looked over to Zoro, whose face twisted and shoulders shook in a poor attempt to hide his laughter. “He’s not my boyfriend, but thank you for the concern.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” said Vivi, still in her voice for Ace, “You can’t tell me you haven’t at least thought about it.”

“Well…” Sanji sighed, resigned. He’d give the fans what they wanted. It’s just in the game, after all. It’s not like he was confessing to the mosshead in real life or anything. “To tell you the truth, we may have something between us. I’m not too interested in labels, y’know how it is.”

“So, what? You’re just stringing the poor guy along?”

Sanji laughed. “I guarantee you if there were any feelings between us, that blockhead wouldn’t be the one invested in the relationship.”

Zoro huffed, but stayed silent.

Vivi laughed and said as Ace, “Hey, you know him better than I do. But from one hopeless romantic to another, I wouldn’t be so quick to jump to conclusions.”

“Right…”

Sanji looked to Zoro again. Zoro was staring at him, fierce. It sent a jolt through Sanji. What in the world…? Sanji swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous.

It wasn’t like what he said was real, but he supposed there was some truth behind his character’s philosophy. Sanji learned a long time ago that he was often too much, too overbearing. And after Pudding broke up with him two years ago, he’d given up on seriously dating anyone, throwing himself into his career instead.

Not to mention, his little friend group had quickly grown to include the entire DND party, Zoro included, and Sanji was well aware that dating within friend groups never ended well. Nami and Vivi were an exception to that rule; even if they did break up he doubted that it’d be on bad terms. Sanji didn’t think he was physically capable of staying friends with someone after a break up. So even if, in some insane turn of events, Zoro was interested in anything more than a good time, dating the mosshead wouldn’t be a good idea.

Despite what his friends thought, Sanji wasn’t blind. He could see what they were doing. He could feel the way Zoro looked at him, felt that energy between them. It was better to feign ignorance. That way, he could let his feelings fade without fanfare, and everything would work out, business as usual. They could continue their little make-believe relationship in game, but Sanji wouldn’t let it bleed into real life. He was better than that.

…

Things could not have gone more wrong the next time Sanji saw Zoro if he had tried.

It was a known fact that Sanji and alcohol did not mix well. There was a reason that at most get-togethers he’d plant himself in the kitchen, pouring the shots instead of taking them. It really wasn’t his fault. At the ripe age of, as of today, twenty three, one would think he’d have learned to hold his alcohol, but, for a lack of a better term, no dice. Surrounding himself with friends below the legal drinking age did not help; he never really had a reason to drink heavily before now.

So, when it came time for Vivi to host Sanji’s birthday party with his new friends over the age of twenty-one, he was incredibly ill prepared for the night to come. It wasn’t as if he planned to get drunk for his birthday. He hadn’t even wanted it to be a big deal, but he knew there was no arguing with Vivi when it came to these things and now that Nami was in the picture it was twice as bad. The couple had been talking up the event at every opportunity, including their shoots, and who was Sanji to ruin their fun by turning down drinks and a good time?

Nami and Zoro were heavy drinkers. Sanji knew this. Up until that point he’d been able to avoid getting absolutely smashed by sipping on wine and keeping himself busy in the kitchen, but this time he couldn't hide away. He was the man of the hour, after all. And there was absolutely no way he'd let himself be out-drunk by Zoro.

Toast after toast, shot after shot, Sanji slowly, and then very rapidly started to lose both his bearings and inhibitions. He pressed himself up against Zoro, their legs touching, their bodies close. It was electric. Sanji buzzed at the contact. He wanted more and he almost forgot why he couldn't have it in the first place. Almost.

Zoro must have been drunk too because he was letting Sanji feed him. Sanji was told not to bring any food but of course he brought some anyway. Rice balls. A new recipe he’d been working on. “Unfortunately not chocolate flavoured,” he told Zoro with a wink. He’d grumbled cutely but took one and ate it, and Sanji could tell he liked it because he immediately grabbed a second one while he was still chewing the first.

Sanji held one up to Zoro's mouth now, their younger friends preoccupied making sure Luffy didn't permanently damage any of Vivi’s property in the television room with a bottle of cola and Mentos. He let his hand drift to Zoro’s thigh, running his thumb up and down, while they stared at each other, hot and heavy-lidded.

The moment he knew Zoro was definitely drunk was when he leaned in, enclosing his lips over the rice ball and Sanji’s fingers, scraping his teeth against the pads of Sanji’s digits, running his tongue over them, and swallowing. Sanji suppressed a gasp, but didn't pull away. He swallowed, frozen, caught.

He almost would have preferred a drunk make out. This was intimate. Far too intimate. Sanji wanted more.

His heart ached as Zoro pulled away, seemingly unbothered by the whole affair. “Good shit, cook.”

Sanji stared at him. Into those deep brown eyes that Sanji could get lost in. That lopsided smile he probably never realized he wore when Luffy did something stupid, now directed at Sanji. His earrings glinted, catching the low tungsten lighting of the room.

His lips—they were slightly chapped around Sanji’s fingers. He could almost feel them against his own, his mouth tasting like Sanji’s cooking. Sanji was suddenly aware of the distance between them, how easy it would be to lean forward, to seal their lips together. They both might have had the same thought, their heads inches away from each other, Sanji could feel Zoro’s breath, his heart thumping in his ears when—

“Sanji!! Zoro!! Cake time!!” Luffy burst into the room, and Sanji all but jumped away from Zoro, spooked out of his trance.

That was far too close for comfort.

…

After the finale of the Alabasta arc aired, their podcast picked up a lot of traction. They even managed to land a sponsorship deal, and suddenly Sanji found himself with a lot more spending money than he was used to.

Unfortunately though, it seemed that with all the new attention, it brought in a whole subsection of ‘shippers’, most of whom were incredibly invested in Zoro and Sanji’s budding in-game relationship. Just peachy.

Now, Sanji would like to think he was a man of class. Of course he was well aware that viewing fan work was a potential lawsuit waiting to happen, and could only end in disaster. So, in all his infinite wisdom, he logged off of his account, opened a private window, and stalked their ship tag on social media in secret.

There were some really talented artists out there! And, well, if Sanji were to be completely honest, it was a bit of an ego boost. Because they’d never had official art done of their characters, the fan artists ran with what they had; deciding to take the basic traits they’d outlined in their character descriptions, and using their likeness to fill in the rest. What resulted was character art of Sanji and Zoro’s characters…that just looked like Sanji and Zoro.

People drew comics of them bickering, some people animated some of their funnier moments, and some people took…liberties with their creativity for the ‘inciting incident’ on Little Garden. They were very kind to Sanji’s wares, he’d give them that. He should be creeped out. He should have closed Twitter four hours ago, but it’s funny where life could take you.

His phone pinged, and he saw Zoro had texted him. They’d started talking more outside of the friend group. It was a screenshotted image of a twitter poll from a DND podcast fan account, the tweet reading, simply, ‘Zoro or Sanji’. Zoro’s screenshot indicated he’d voted for himself, and that he was in the lead. Zoro followed up the screenshot with the ‘middle finger’ emoji, and then said ‘Still think the curly brows were a good idea?’

Sanji typed, ‘Genuinely, fuck you.’

He found the poll on Twitter and voted for himself. The top comment under the poll read ‘why pit two bad bitches against each other?’ and it had ratioed the poll by almost triple the amount of likes. Sanji smiled to himself. Then he frowned.

Oh.

Fuck.

Zoro considered himself a patient man. In fact, it was something he took pride in.

When he lost his kendo tournament to Mihawk, he picked himself up by his bootstraps, and continued his training regiment.

When Luffy lost his brother three years ago, he was there for him, waiting for Luffy to heal, being staunch and resolute. It hurt to see him like that, but not to wait. He’d wait forever for Luffy.

The frustration he felt towards Sanji was new. It was different. Zoro didn’t know what to do with himself.

It’d been a month since Sanji’s birthday party. Three weeks since they’d last texted. It was so dumb. He knew Sanji was a busy person. He knew they had lives outside of the podcast. But, still. It had felt like something had finally started between them.

And now? Nothing. Cold turkey.

He saw Sanji at their latest recording session, Jaya, but the two of them didn’t start anything with each other in game, or out. Strange, tense, awkward. Not a single ‘Marimo’ or ‘Shitty swordsman’ to be heard. Instead all Zoro got was eyes shifting away and awkward side steps.

Sanji stopped coming to their hangouts outside of the recordings, finding a different excuse every time. He stopped sending Zoro pictures of ridiculous plants and telling him that the style might suit him. It was starting to get on his nerves.

He couldn’t help but think back to their Alabasta shoot, when Vivi had called Sanji’s character out for ‘stringing him along.’ Fuck that.

It was weird how much Zoro cared. Typically, when he was attracted to someone, he’d make a move, and be perfectly fine if nothing came out of it.

This was not the case with Sanji. Maybe it was at first, but the more Zoro saw him, the more the two of them interacted, the more Zoro wanted to be around him. Wanted more.

He found himself picturing sharing things with him—small things. Watching a movie with him on his couch. Eating a meal with him at his kitchen table.

Now that Sanji had all but completely cut him off, the ache was even more apparent.

He’d never felt that way about anyone before. And he was starting to get the sinking feeling that it really, truly was a one-way thing.

More than anything though, Zoro was selfish. He decided he’d have the waiter, and while he hadn’t ever gotten a ‘yes’ from him, he hadn’t gotten a ‘no’ either. Just an ‘I can’t.’ Whatever that was supposed to mean.

Sanji couldn’t avoid him forever. They both signed the sponsorship contract; they both had to show up for their next shoot.

Zoro was going to get his answer. Even if it was a no… because at least then, he could start to figure out how to move on. He wasn’t going to let himself be ‘strung along’ any more.

Session Six: “Skypiea”...

Starting the session, things immediately took a turn for the worse. Vivi, true to form, let the crew poke at and explore the new island they’d landed on and then introduced a ‘beautiful, harp-playing winged woman’.

“My angel~” Sanji immediately tried. Zoro rolled his eyes.

The waiter opened his mouth, but before he could say anything more, Zoro said, “If you say ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven’ I’ll slice you.”

Sanji closed his mouth.

Zoro pushed. “What? Too scared of the outcome? Not even gonna bother trying?”

“Well, maybe I would if someone didn’t interrupt.”

“Roll the die, waiter. I dare you.”

He stared Zoro down as he picked up his D20 and shucked it onto the table. A three.

Zoro smiled, feeling proud of himself. “Heh.”

He waited for the waiter to blow up. For them to continue their usual banter.

Instead, Sanji pursed his lips and said, “Whatever.”

Whatever? What the fuck was his deal?

Zoro was at his wit’s end. Nami picked up a conversation before Zoro could respond, shooting him a look. He ignored her.

He wasn’t going to let the waiter continue this behaviour. Clearly, he wasn’t going to get anywhere unless he confronted Sanji directly.

“I want to talk to the cook,” said Zoro.

Sanji whipped up his head. They were wrapping up the first half of ‘Skypiea’ and the party had miraculously managed to gather together for their long rest before the mid-day shoot break.

He had thought the mosshead had dropped his badgering, but that seemed to have been wishful thinking.

“Well, I’m cleaning up from dinner, why don’t you make yourself useful and help out?”

Luffy had decided a bonfire was the way to go, and Sanji was happy to go along with it, despite their lovely new party member, Robin, pointing out that it might attract enemies.

Naturally, Vivi had sent wolves after them, but Luffy and his insane animal handling stats managed to not only tame the wolves, but befriend them and turn it into an entire party.

“Alright, whatever, sure,” said Zoro, then, straight to the point, “You’ve been avoiding me.”

Sanji narrowed his eyes. That fucking… jackass… He knew exactly what he was doing.

“We’ve been busy. Or did you forget about getting ambushed and arrested earlier today?”

“You know that’s not what I mean. We’ve had time, plenty of time.” He gave Sanji a pointed look. Sanji pressed his lips together. “On the boat, between Alabasta and Jaya. You didn’t come to me once.”

Holy shit. In what world did Zoro think this was remotely appropriate? He was completely insane. That must be it. Sanji couldn’t believe this guy. What else could he do? He had to play along. Zoro was forcing him to fess up. What a fucking prick.

“I—” What the fuck was Sanji supposed to say to that? Zoro was asking him, Sanji, why he was avoiding him. But this was his character in the game. The character who had already been with Zoro’s character. “Well, it’s not like you approached me either.”

Sure, Sanji was the one doing the active avoiding. But, true to what he said through his character, Zoro hadn’t done anything about it. He’d just let them drift apart. Which is what Sanji wanted, yes, but he couldn’t deny it didn’t hurt.

Zoro laughed, with a bite. “And how, exactly, was I meant to do that? You didn’t exactly make it easy to get a hold of you.”

Sanji worried his lip. Was it possible that he had hurt Zoro? He was even grumpier and poutier than usual. He glanced around the table. He could tell the rest of the party was getting antsy. He sighed. “Okay, I’m sorry for avoiding you. I thought—I thought it was a one time thing.”

Zoro narrowed his eyes. “Right. Well, fuck you, then.”

The energy at the table tensed. Usopp laughed nervously, asking, “Uh—are you two sure this is still about the game…?”

“Yes,” Zoro and Sanji both bit out simultaneously. Usopp put his hands up in surrender. Koby had his work cut out for him, poor guy.

“How passionate,” Robin mused. Sanji suddenly felt done with this conversation, a flash of anger welling up towards Zoro. Bugging Sanji about it was one thing, but involving everyone else like this? They had limited time as it was, and Zoro knew how long their shoots always took.

“Can we discuss this another time?” Sanji said, trying to stay as professional as possible, “I’d like to finish up and get to bed.”

“Fucking, fine,” Zoro spat out.

Sanji grit his teeth. “Goodnight, shitty swordsman.”

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite… curly-browed moron.”

…

Sanji stomped out of the studio, to the fire escape where he pulled out his cigarettes and lit one up, taking a long and deep drag. He puffed out the smoke, immediately feeling better, the tension dividing in half.

He was pissed off.

It was incredibly inconsiderate for Zoro to bring their personal lives into the game, in front of everyone. No warning, no indication that he had even been sparing Sanji a second thought before that moment.

“Fuck!” He kicked the railing, a loud ‘clang’ ringing through the alleyway.

Sanji wanted to hate him. He wanted to use this anger to snuff out the feelings he’d been trying to lose for the past month. But…he knew he couldn’t do that.

“Fucking…inconsiderate, moronic, green-haired jackarse—”

The door swung open, and Sanji almost dropped his cigarette.

“Sanji…” said Usopp, tentatively. He stepped onto the small landing and eased the door closed.

Sanji sighed, righting himself and calming down.

“Hey, ‘sopp,” he said. He took another drag of his cigarette.

“You gonna tell me what that was all about, or are you going to make me ask? Because I really don’t want to ask.”

Sanji rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you ask the green-haired ogre what it was about? He started it.”

“Come on man, throw me a bone here. We all know you’ve been avoiding him.”

Sanji huffed, but he couldn’t stay pissy around Usopp. The guy didn’t deserve that. “I just… I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time?”

“Dude.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to do! I don’t—I can’t—” He waved his hand, trying to grasp at some semblance of understanding he had yet to reach. He looked at Usopp, suddenly feeling a well of emotions burst to the surface that he’d been pushing down for who knew how long. His lips wobbled, and he looked at Usopp, making a horrible choked out noise.

“Hey—woah, Sanji—it’s okay man, come’ere.” Usopp wrapped Sanji in his arms, and Sanji stilled for a moment, before sagging into his friend’s embrace. Usopp patted his back. “You’re okay, just breathe.”

Sanji nodded, not trusting himself to talk. This past month had not been easy. He only went out for work, lost sleep, and his mental health was even worse than his normal seasonal depression. And of course, the forever enigmatic cherry on top, no matter what he did, he couldn’t stop thinking about Zoro.

Zoro, with his dry humour, his horrible sense of direction, his insane luck, and weirdly good role playing skills. Zoro, with his perfect body which he used to be a goddamn kendo champion and swordsman stunt double. Zoro, who looked at Sanji in a way that made Sanji absolutely terrified for what it could mean, where they could take things.

He wondered if he looked at Zoro the same way.

Sanji stared at the metal door, eyes unfocused, and suddenly his entire slew of problems became depressingly simple.

“I—I’m in love with him. I’m in love with Zoro.”

Usopp stilled. “What?” He held Sanji by the shoulders, inspecting his face. “Sorry, hold on, I think I might have contracted the ‘mishearing Sanji saying he’s in love with Zoro’ disease, would you mind repeating yourself?”

Sanji looked away, his cheeks heating in an act of betrayal.

“Shit—you’re—you’re serious?!” Usopp shrieked, the sound ricocheting off the narrow walls of the buildings surrounding them.

“Way to alert the whole neighbourhood, idiot…” he grumbled.

“Okay, wow, okay. Well, fuck! I owe Nami so much money…”

“What—”

“Well!” Usopp clapped his hands together, “Putting that aside, how in the world does being in ‘love’ with Zoro lead to you avoiding him for a month!?”

“It’s not like I want to be in love with him! I was…” Sanji deflated, “trying to get over it.”

Usopp opened his mouth, and closed it again. He stuck his hand in his hair, blinking at the floor. He looked at Sanji, his other hand grasping at nothing, and with a huge breath, he asked, “Why?”

“Come on, don’t be like that. You know how crap my dating life was. It’s why I gave it up—I’m not made for it…”

“Sanji, those were random girls you were trying to ‘rizz up’ on Instagram. You weren’t in love with any of them—and they weren’t in love with you either!”

“Yeah, okay, but it’s not like Zoro’s in love with me.” Sanji scoffed and rolled his eyes. “And dating in the friend group never goes well, that’s a known fact! When was the last time we saw Koza, huh?”

“Okay, wow, yeesh, so you’re just an idiot,” said Usopp.

“Excuse me?”

“Okay, first of all, Koza is in Egypt right now, like, people get busy! The friend group didn’t fall apart just because they broke up.”

“Well, okay, but they’re the exception. I don’t—I couldn’t stay friends with anyone after a breakup—”

“And second of all,” Usopp continued, “Do you—you can’t seriously not know.”

Usopp looked concerned.

“‘Ey, what’s with that look?”

“You know, you’re a lot better at hiding it than he is. It’s why I had my money on Zoro fessin’ up first!”

“What are you talking about?”

Usopp sighed. “Just—do you think you could find it in yourself to confess to the guy?”

“Not happening.”

“Great. Well, that kind of works out for me actually,” he murmured, “I’m technically not in the red yet…”

“Would it kill you to not talk about my love life like it’s some sporting event?”

“Sorry, sorry!” Usopp sighed again, defeated. “Do you at least think you can be a respectable team player for the rest of the shoot?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry about that. I guess it was partially my fault. That moss-ball better apologize too though…”

“Okay, well, good chat, man. Think about what I said, okay?”

“Sure…” said Sanji. Usopp slipped back inside, leaving Sanji alone with his cigarette butt.

Zoro…he couldn’t possibly reciprocate Sanji’s feelings, not on the level that Sanji was suffering, right? It was just surface level attraction. The guy didn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Sanji wasn’t even sure if he was capable of experiencing feelings that complicated.

But, still, avoiding him was wrong. Clearly, for some reason, he did hurt him. And he was hurting himself too. He could be an adult and face his idiot crush without letting himself go too far. As much as he hated to admit it, maybe he did owe Zoro an apology.

…

The shoot ran extra long, every member of the crew rolling absolutely abysmally, except Robin. Sanji and Usopp got electrocuted and were stuck in death saving throw limbo for almost the entire run, Luffy got eaten by a snake, and Zoro, hilariously, got flown halfway across the map by a bird.

They ended up wrapping two hours later than planned, but that was typical for them at that point. He definitely didn’t envy Koby’s job. Plus, this was only day one of two, and he knew his body would not be happy to come in and sit all day tomorrow too. Vivi had clearly designed Eneru’s lightning powers to be foiled by ‘Rubber-Man Luffy’, but was not taking it easy on the rest of them.

Sanji sighed, checking his transit app to see when the next bus was coming. He had about fifteen minutes to spare. Warily, he flicked his eyes across the room. Zoro was looking at him. Sanji looked away.

He really didn’t want to face him. He was still pissed off, and he was completely out of energy. If they talked now, he’d probably just end up saying shit he regretted anyways.

Pushing himself off of the wall he was leaned against, he started walking towards the door. He left without saying goodbye, and trudged to his bus stop to wait in blissful solitude. He smoked through three cigarettes before the bus showed up.

The moment Nami asked Zoro to walk home with her, he knew he had fucked up simply from the tone of her voice.

“Mind telling me what that little stunt you pulled earlier was all about?”

Zoro grunted, sticking his hands in his sweatpant pockets. He continued following a couple paces behind Nami, refusing to acknowledge the question.

Nami clearly wasn’t having any of it. She slowed, allowing herself to walk in step with Zoro.

She looked at him, an expression of disappointment, and worse, pity. Zoro wanted to run away. He hated when she got like this.

“‘Snone of your business,” he said.

“No, but you certainly made it my business when you decided to use our game to—what? Confront Sanji? Humiliate him? What in the world were you thinking!?”

He wasn’t thinking, really. “It was the only way to get him to talk to me,” he said, keeping his voice cool, shrugging.

“Now that’s just downright idiotic and you know it.”

Zoro’s patience suddenly ran thin. It seemed to do that a lot more recently. “Well, fuck that guy. I’m done playing his games.”

“Zoro…” Nami warned.

“I’m serious. If he doesn’t want to talk to me, fine. I was looking for an answer, and he gave it to me. It’s over.”

“You’re so—ugh—frustrating! Both of you! This should be a non-issue!”

“Well, it’s an issue.”

They came to a streetlight and fell silent, tension hanging in the air. Nami crossed her arms, and stared forward, occasionally glancing at the other stoplight to observe the countdown.

The light changed and they crossed the street, Zoro falling behind Nami again. She was stiff, her steps weighty and deliberate. Zoro breathed in, rubbing his temple, and caught back up to her.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he said. Nami raised her brows at that, but stayed quiet. Waiting. “I shouldn’t have done that. It was shitty of me.”

“Save it—you owe that apology to everyone, not just me.” She should be proud of him. Four years ago he wouldn’t have even considered apologizing. Nami glared at him, a threat.

“Fuck, fine! I’ll text the group chat.”

“Don’t sound too excited.” They started to slow down as they approached Nami’s apartment. She was lucky to live close to the studio they rented; sometimes Zoro would stay over when they had two-day shoots like this, but he doubted Nami would bother to offer this time. He wasn’t going to ask. “You should really talk to him, you know,” she said. “You might be surprised what a good, decent, adult conversation could do for you.”

Zoro wanted to shut her down. Tell her she was wrong. His reflexes tensed against him, bile at the back of his throat. “You’re right.”

Nami turned to look at him, and smiled. “I know,” she said. They approached the door to her building and she swiped herself in. Zoro stood awkwardly behind. She held open the door. “What are you waiting for, dummy?”

Zoro blinked, shocked, but then he smiled. He followed behind her.

…

When Zoro saw Sanji the next day, his anger bubbled back into his chest. Unsurprisingly, he was still being ignored, but this time he ignored Sanji in turn.

They barely interacted in the session, Sanji sticking with Usopp’s character and Zoro with the others. Nami was glaring at him throughout the day too, and he was so exhausted that when he lost all his hit points cutting down the beanstalk he couldn’t even find it in himself to care.

The ending of the arc was pretty great though. Vivi brought a mini bell prop to play for them when Luffy finally managed to hit the giant one in the game, and it was pretty damn satisfying. It was strange, that even though he felt like shit, he could imagine his character being happy.

He made the mistake of looking at Sanji. He was smiling, soft, listening to Vivi as she weaved together the imagery of all the residents of Skypiea hearing the bell. His eyes sparkled as she told them about Noland’s descendent, Cricket, hearing the ringing, and all of their efforts paying off.

Gorgeous was the only word Zoro could think of to describe him.

It ached, knowing Sanji wouldn’t reciprocate. Knowing that he wasn’t even willing to try.

It hurt.

Zoro didn’t want to feel like this anymore.

…

The next two weeks were hell.

If he wasn’t at the gym, he was at home. He hadn’t got a gig as a stunt double in ages; the money from the occasional kendo tournament and the podcast sponsorship was enough to pay his rent these days. He regretted it now. He had too much time on his hands.

All he could think about was the cook. He went out with Nami and Luffy, they ordered rice balls, and he could barely stomach them. The fucking bastard even ruined his favourite food.

He started putting on the podcast episodes, memorizing the spots where Sanji would talk, when the two of them interacted. He had a really nice voice. He flipped between accents easily; a cute British accent normally, occasionally slipping into French when he got frustrated, and a surprisingly convincing gruff American accent he used for his character in the game.

It was strange—the Sanji that he knew and the Sanji in the game were different, yes, but they were also the same. They shared the same passion, the same ideals, mannerisms; even their goals were similar. Zoro would never forget the look on Sanji’s face when he described the All Blue. It was so earnest that he could almost believe it was real. It was so incredibly Sanji that Zoro couldn’t help but catch his enthusiasm. The pure joy and love he had for cooking. The care and compassion he had for his friends. For acquaintances. For strangers. Zoro almost felt selfish for wanting him all to himself. He felt foolish for continuing to want it, continuing to indulge in his strange obsession.

It occurred to him, rather unceremoniously, that this must be love.

Well. Wasn’t that something?

Sanji must have opened his text history with Zoro at least once a day between their shoot for Skypiea and the next one. He kept typing messages, then deleting them.

He missed the moss-ball. He really, really did. He knew he fucked up and he had no idea where to even begin. Every apology he wrote felt disingenuous. Every non-apology felt dismissive.

He thought that maybe he’d be able to strike up a conversation in person at their little crew’s weekly get together, but, as if to pay him back, Zoro didn’t show. Maybe he needed time.

Sanji started worrying. He knew Zoro was horrible at taking care of himself. Some nights, Sanji found himself making a meal portioned for two. He never did anything with it. Just put the leftovers in the fridge and had it for lunch the next day.

He made rice balls again. As he ate them alone, he wondered if things would be different now if Luffy hadn’t interrupted them at his birthday party.

Maybe, if Sanji couldn’t bring himself to talk to Zoro, they might be able to reconcile in the game. It felt silly to think that would work, especially because of how disastrous the last attempt went, but it was also how this all began.

He almost envied his character. If only life was as easy as rolling a die.

Session Seven: “Long Ring Long Land”...

“Oo! Can I be on a team with Zoro?” Chopper immediately asked after Vivi had explained the rules of the Davy Back fight. Definitely one of the lighter sessions to date, but after back-to-back shoots that lasted over ten hours both days, Sanji and the rest of the crew were grateful to play through something a bit less intense.

Of course, Vivi still went all out with coming up with a tournament style arc, and had them all choose teams. Sanji’s stomach clenched, but he knew this was his only chance.

“You can count me in too,” he said. He didn’t look at Zoro when he said it, but he could feel Zoro’s sharp gaze on him.

“Works for me,” said Nami. “Usopp, make us a boat.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it,” he said, rolling his die, but Sanji had already zoned out, quietly plotting out his attacks.

Before he knew it, they had lost the boat race, and Sanji and Zoro were suddenly a pair instead of a trio. He looked warily at Vivi, who was smiling innocently, continuing on business as usual.

She explained the rules of the game—essentially, one-trick handball. Except either Zoro or Sanji had to be the human manifestation of the ball.

“So,” she said, and reached under the table. She pulled out a plastic striped ball, with a strap attached to it. Sanji did not like where this was going. “Which one of you is it gonna be?”

“Him,” said Zoro, pointing at Sanji.

She handed the ball to Nami, who came around and fastened it on Sanji’s head before he even had time to protest.

“Hold on—! I did not agree to this!” His face burned, imagining how ridiculous he must look.

Zoro started laughing. A hearty, healthy, full belly laugh. Sanji’s ears burned, but not because of embarrassment. He hadn’t seen Zoro this happy in months. He forgot how beautiful his smile was.

“You look so fucking—” he wheezed— “stupid!” He slapped the table, and wiped his eyes, and said, “Vivi you’re a goddamn genius!”

“Can we at least talk about this…?” The battle had already been lost. There was no way the ball was coming off his head.

He huffed out a laugh. He supposed it was a bit funny. Not that his character would think that. It came naturally, the bickering, their normal teasing. He wore a frown through their interactions but he felt hopeful, like maybe this could actually change things.

When the game actually started, he and Zoro were in high spirits, calling out their typical moves, pushing back against the enemy. Never one to go easy on them though, Vivi didn’t pull her punches, and after only a couple of devastating combo moves from the Foxy Pirates, Zoro and Sanji were both knocked down, down on their luck and hit points.

It was Zoro’s turn. They probably both only had one more move left in them before they were completely obliterated.

“Hey, cook.” Zoro looked at Sanji. He was unguarded, open. Sanji understood that this was him reaching out. That this was meant for him, not just his character.

“Yeah, Marimo?” Sanji’s heart hammered in his ears.

“Lend me a hand for ten seconds, would you?”

Sanji’s breath caught in his throat.

Zoro? Asking for help? He’d never let his character do something like that unless it was important.

He looked at Zoro. He could find no humour in his gaze. There was no mistaking what he was trying to say.

Sanji was important to Zoro.

“Yeah, okay,” he said, “But only ten seconds.”

You’re important to me too.

They looked at Vivi, who gestured for them to continue. She was smiling. In fact, everyone at the table was in a good mood, Luffy laughing, Chopper cheering them on.

It was like magic. Zoro’s luck must have rubbed off on him because they both rolled higher than fifteen for every stunt they tried to pull. The damage they did was devastating. Sanji hadn’t realized just how combatively compatible they had made their characters. Go figure.

After winning back Chopper and letting Luffy have his fun, Sanji felt light. He glanced at Zoro, who was looking at him, grinning. His face contorted into a silent laugh, and he pointed upwards. Sanji followed with his eyes, and he immediately started burning in embarrassment when he realized he’d never taken off the ball.

He flipped Zoro the bird, and ripped it off, throwing it at him. Zoro caught it, definitely ruining the take, but the fans loved their candid moments anyways, so he was sure he’d be forgiven.

This… he wanted this. He wanted to be with Zoro like this. He wanted the idiot who insulted him at every left turn, who he could make laugh, cook for, care for. It was something he knew, something he had already felt, but this time, he had absolutely no desire to get rid of it.

…

Sanji found Zoro eating his lunch alone in the parking lot. He walked to him and sat down on the curb next to him.

“This where you always hang out for lunch?” He took out his cigarette and stuck it in his mouth. He didn’t look at Zoro.

“Go light your smoke where people aren’t eating, shitty cook.”

“That’s your nickname for my character. What happened to ‘waiter’?”

Zoro sighed and put his lunch down. “What do you want?”

Sanji chewed on his cigarette, and rolled his lighter between his hands, not actually flicking it on. “I—we—” he huffed, frustrated. “I had fun running combat with you today.”

Silence. Sanji’s face started heating up. His heart hammered. He refused to look at Zoro.

“Me too.”

At that, Sanji snuck a glance over to Zoro’s face. Over the months of knowing him and playing this campaign with him, Sanji had gotten to know the nuances of his expressions, flat as they may be.

Zoro’s lips were pressed together, his eyebrows knitted and his ears tinted a few shades darker than the rest of his face. He was being earnest. Vulnerable.

Sanji felt terrified.

“I just—” Sanji started. He sighed. If he was going to lay his heart bare just for it to get broken, he should at least be able to find the words to make it happen.

“Cook.” Zoro looked at him. A breeze whipped Zoro’s short green hair into disarray, his earrings swinging chaotically and his shirt rumpling. Sanji felt his heart tug as he let his eyes fall to Zoro’s lips, closed and perfect and enticing.

He swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have avoided you.”

Zoro raised his eyebrow. “You gonna give me an explanation or…?”

“I don’t… I don’t know if you’d want to hear it…”

Despite everything, Sanji was still a coward. He wasn’t ready to hear what Zoro was going to say, to face the inevitability of rejection. The way he loved was simply too much.

Zoro’s eye twitched, but he stayed relatively calm when he said, “You don’t get to decide that.”

“I know,” Sanji said. He still didn’t elaborate.

Zoro huffed out his annoyance. Then, abruptly, he slapped his knees. “Tell you what.”

Sanji looked over, curious.

“I have an idea I want to try in the game.”

“Oi. Absolutely not. I won’t let you drag—this—into Nami, Vivi and Robin’s business again!”

“It won’t be like that.” Zoro rolled his eyes. “Come on, don’t you trust me?”

Sanji didn’t answer that. He looked away.

He could hear Zoro grin as he said, “Great. See ya inside.”

Then, he was gone.

Not the conversation Sanji had intended to have, but it was progress. Maybe. He was a bit scared, not knowing exactly what to expect.

He finally lit the cigarette that was hanging from his mouth. Breathed in, breathed out.

At least, if all else failed, they’d make for a good show.

…

Sanji felt restless as the crew enjoyed kicking back and roleplaying without any major stakes to keep them on a specific task. Usopp continued to insist he saw a ghost fixing the Merry, but everyone waved him off, despite them all corporeally witnessing Vivi describe that exact event. She and Usopp were definitely building it up to something big.

Making use of the Chef feat Sanji had yet to go a single campaign without having, he described in great detail what meal he makes for the crew after getting a general idea of what the local flora and fauna were like. He could definitely appreciate the fact that a good meal could increase players’ hit points; little things like that had him coming back to DND over and over again.

He pointedly ignored Zoro’s persistent gaze; his eyes on Sanji the entire time. He wasn’t letting up, but he wasn’t making any moves, either. It could be, Sanji supposed, that the ball was in his court.

“Here, Mosshead,” said Sanji. “I hand you a plate and I sit next to you.”

“Do you need something?” Zoro’s voice stayed level, but he wore a hint of a smile. So this was what he was after.

“Figured I owed you an apology. You were right, about me avoiding you.”

“Yeah? You gonna finally tell me why?”

He was giving Sanji a second chance. It was almost considerate. Letting Sanji do this in the game. It gave him plausible deniability if things went south. It was a shield. He chewed the inside of his mouth.

“It’s just—this was supposed to be fun.”

Zoro considered him. “Is it not fun anymore?”

“No, that's not it. It’s that it’s—it’s me. I thought, because it was you, it would be different, that I could just do the friends with benefits thing.” He picked up one of his dice and rolled it between his fingers. “But I was wrong.”

His ears burned. He was talking about it through the context of his character, but he still felt exposed. Vulnerable. Anyone else watching would think he was playing a part, but he knew, and he was pretty sure that Zoro knew exactly what Sanji had just confessed to.

Zoro’s response came out slowly. “So, you’re avoiding me because you caught feelings?”

“I—” Why did he always have to be so blunt? “I guess, when you put it that way.”

Zoro blinked at him, his expression reminiscent of Usopp’s two weeks ago in the fire escape.

Sanji doubled down. “Look—it’s not like you wanted anything more, right? I was doing you a favour. I know how you operate. You don’t do relationships. Not like the one I’d want.”

“Oi. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Am I wrong?”

“You never asked.”

“You’d say no! I was saving us both the headache—”

“Ask me out right now. I dare you.”

There it was again. The ‘I dare you.’ Sanji closed his mouth. Looked at Zoro. Actually looked at him. He seemed angry. Frustrated. Determined.

Zoro’s shoulders slumped, and he sighed. He pointed at Sanji’s D20. “If you’re so scared about what I’ll say, why don’t you let fate decide?” His voice had slipped out of the rough baritone he usually went into in character. This was Zoro talking to Sanji. No filter.

“Are you—are you seriously saying what I think you’re saying?” he asked, in his real voice, not his character’s.

Zoro nodded. “Against my passive insight, you’d have to roll at least a twelve or higher.”

Sanji couldn’t help but snort. “Who’s talking like a nerd now?” Zoro rolled his eyes. “This is ridiculous,” he said.

“You saying you aren’t game?”

“I—” Sanji glanced around the table, which had grown strangely quiet and attentive. He glanced at Usopp. He arched his eyebrows, nudging Sanji to get on with it already. Sanji sighed.

“Yeah, I’m game.”

Zoro smirked. “If you roll a nat 20, I’ll throw in a bonus kiss.”

“As if. I’ll probably get a five like usual.”

“I guess we’ll have to see, won’t we.” It was like Zoro somehow knew what the outcome was going to be. Which was impossible. There was no possible way Sanji could get two nat 20s in his pursuit of Zoro’s character. The odds were ridiculously low.

He dropped his voice back into character. “Alright, fine. Since you’re so insistent—” He tossed the die onto the table— “Next time we get to a decent populated island, how’d you feel about dinner and a show?”

Sanji didn’t even get a chance to look at what he’d rolled because Zoro was up out of his chair and standing over Sanji.

“Mosshead, what—!?”

Zoro was grinning. “I told you. Fate knows what she’s talking about.”

Then, before Sanji could respond, Zoro’s lips were on his.

He squeaked, a horrible, embarrassing noise of shock as his brain processed his situation. Zoro’s lips were soft, inviting, and Sanji leaned into it, his body automatically seeking more from the other man. He’d imagined this moment ten times, fifty times over, and it still didn’t prepare him for how right it felt, how well they slotted together.

Usopp wolf-whistled and Nami barked out a laugh. Sanji’s face suddenly became very, very hot as Zoro pulled away and Sanji remembered he had an audience.

“Wh—What was that about?!”

“Your bonus,” Zoro said.

Sanji turned, finally getting a look at what he’d rolled. It was a 20.

Without thinking, he brought his hand to his lips. They had kissed. On camera.

Shit, he was going to have to bribe Koby, wasn’t he?

Fuck, he was up against Nami. He slumped, his forehead hitting the table. “Kill me now…”

Luffy burst into laughter. “You’re so funny, Sanji!”

“Does this mean you two are finally dating?” asked Chopper.

“Yes,” Zoro declared.

“As happy as I am for you two, do we think we can get things back on track?” asked Vivi. It was a mystery why she hadn’t given up on them after their first session.

Zoro left Sanji’s side to go back to his seat. Sanji watched him go, and Zoro mouthed, ‘tonight’, quite obviously and Sanji wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

He had no idea what to do with himself. Earlier that day, Sanji was expecting complete and utter rejection. It could be Zoro’s idea of a sick, twisted, prank, but with the way he went about it—letting Sanji ask, giving him an out, the kiss—soft, attentive, real—Sanji couldn’t deny that whatever this was, Zoro was just as enthusiastic, if not more enthusiastic about pursuing it.

Horribly, Sanji almost felt like crying. It was a relief he hadn’t even known to expect. One he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. His feelings were reciprocated. He didn’t have to hold back.

He could love Zoro, and he had a feeling Zoro would love him too.

An Undisclosed Amount of Months Later…

“I’m going to regret asking, but can you explain to me again how exactly yours and Zoro’s relationship is supposed to work in the game?” Usopp was completely hammered, slumped on Vivi’s couch with his legs resting on both Zoro and Sanji’s thighs.

They were pressed up against each other, Zoro’s arm slung lazily over Sanji’s shoulder. Luffy and Chopper were already out, sleeping against each other on the reading chair. Nami, laying in Vivi’s lap on the floor, groaned. “Usopp, why?”

“I just don’t get it! They keep breaking up and getting back together, I can’t keep track!”

Sanji laughed, his head resting on Zoro’s shoulder.

“Well, cook? You gonna answer the question?” Zoro’s fingers were laced in his, playing with Sanji’s hand absentmindedly. He barely annunciated, mumbling into Sanji’s hair. A pleasant, warm heat spread through Sanji’s body.

“Hm… well, he’s pretty pissed off at me for asking him to kill me right now.”

Zoro’s grip tightened, and he lifted his head. “Yeah, for good fucking reason. It’s fucking stupid.”

“He’s been going through a lot! I know you watched Whole Cake Island while you were off in Japan, you know what happened!”

“Sure, I know, but your so-called ‘Beloved Marimo’ doesn’t. It’s cruel.”

“It’s interesting,” said Sanji. “Also, I’ve never called you that in my life.”

“Whatever!”

“See what you’ve done, Usopp?” said Nami. “The two of them can’t tell fact from fiction!”

“I can hear you talking about me, witch.” Zoro yawned, letting his head rest on Sanji’s hair.

Sanji peered at the time displayed on the television's home screen. He shook his hand out of Zoro’s grip, who grumbled in protest, but stopped when Sanji ran his fingers through his green hair instead. “I think it’s time for us to get home, yeah?”

He jostled Usopp’s legs off of them, and helped Zoro to his feet. Zoro, still half asleep, wrapped his arms around Sanji’s torso and buried his face in the crook of Sanji’s shoulder. Sanji, meanwhile, pulled out his phone and ordered them a car.

“Eugh, get a room,” said Usopp, throwing a piece of popcorn at them.

“That’s the plan,” Sanji replied easily. Zoro perked up suddenly. “To sleep, moron, it’s almost three in the morning!”

“Fine, whatever, your loss.” He could hear Zoro’s pout. Sanji smiled.

He carted his sleepy boyfriend out of the room, shouting out a quick “See ya!” as they slipped their shoes on and made their way outside and to their awaiting Uber.

By the time they got home, Zoro was fast asleep. Sanji hauled him onto his back and carried him all the way to their bedroom, dumping him on their bed. Then, he got himself ready for the night, and climbed in bed next to Zoro.

The shift seemed to stir him, and Sanji was met with Zoro’s beautiful brown eyes, that gaze rendering him truly helpless.

“Cook,” said Zoro, “Kiss me goodnight?”

His heart sang.

How lucky was he that he got to love so brightly, so passionately, and have that love returned in full?

Zoro’s face was loose, soft, waiting. Sanji leaned down, bracketing his weight on the bed with his elbow. He used his other hand to clink Zoro’s earrings together, dragging his fingers along Zoro’s cheek and cupping his jaw. He was met with a delicious expression; a pretty flush painting his boyfriend’s cheeks, slack jawed and almost reverent.

Sanji brought their faces close, and tilted Zoro’s chin up to place a soft kiss on Zoro’s lips, his boyfriend humming happily as Sanji pulled away and touched their noses together. He shut off the lights and lay back down, Zoro scooching close to spoon him.

“G’night, Zoro. Love you.”

“Love you too, Sanji. Sleep well.”

Zoro kissed the back of Sanji’s neck, and Sanji thought he must be the luckiest guy in the world.