Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sirius' texts are bold and italic

Remus' texts are italic

November 25th

(8:28pm) Lily? Are you there?

(8:53pm) Please. I need to talk to you.

(9:30pm) I’m sorry, but please text me back as soon as you can. I really need you right now.

(9:35pm) Please.

(10:12pm) Uhm, sorry but I think you got the wrong number, mate. This isn’t Lily.

(10:13pm) Fuck. I’m so sorry.

(10:15pm) No worries. Are you alright though? I’m not trying to be intrusive, but your messages sounded concerning.

(10:16pm) No, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you, don’t worry.

(10:20pm) Well, okay. But if you need someone you can text me, alright? I know we don’t know each other but I’ll gladly listen and try to help you as well as possible.

(10:21pm) Thank you.

November 26th

(1:57am) Are you there?

(2:15am) I’m here.

(2:17am) I’m really sorry to bother you but I still haven’t found Lily’s right number and there is no other way I can contact her and I don’t have anyone else.

(2:17am) It’s okay. Tell me what’s wrong.

(2:25am) Are you still there?

(2:45am) I’m sorry if I’m bothering you but please just let me know if you’re alright.

(3:15am) I gotta leave now but my phone is staying on. Please message me.

(4:30am) I’m sorry I worried you. I’m alright.

(5:02am) You’re back!!! What happened?

(5:05am) I’m sorry. But really, don’t worry about me, alright? I’m sorry I texted you yesterday, just forget about it.

(5:07am) Are you sure?

(5:07am) Yes.

(5:09am) Alright then. My offer still stands though.

~

(6:45pm) m8 r u there

(6:47pm) Yeah…?

(6:50pm) what’s up

(6:53pm) Nothing. Also, don’t get me wrong, but why are you messaging me?

(6:55pm) my friend’s passed out drunk & i don’t like being alone and bored when i’m drunk also it’s a subtle way to check if you’re alright

(6:57pm) Not so subtle when you point it out. Anyway, what time’s it where you at?

(7:00pm) ?????

(7:01pm) You live in England, don’t you? What time’s it over there?

(7:02pm) u don’t live here? Wtf

(7:02pm) why’d u text an english # tho

(7:04pm) My friend, Lily, moved to England recently. And her parents took her old phone and she must have accidentally given me the wrong number for the one she got instead and since she doesn’t have any internet access at the moment I can’t get her right one.

(7:05pm) that sucks, I’m sorrx

(7:06pm) It’s okay.

(7:07pm) okay… also it’s just past midnight

(7:08pm) Oh, alright.

(7:13pm) prongs just woke up again gotta blast

(7:15pm) Alright, have fun.

~

(9:35pm) small tip don’t chug half a bottle of a mixture of literally every sort of booze you had left just bc ur friend will give u ten bucks if u do it, it’s gonna make you puke for an hour and you will want to die afterwards

(9:40pm) Not that I planned on doing this, but thanks for the tip.

November 27th

(6:45am) Another tip, don’t let your mate convince you to empty his father’s liquor cabinet and drink all of it because you will wake up with the worst hangover imaginable and full of regret for annoying a poor stranger with your texts.

(7:32am) Assuming the stranger you’re talking about is me, you didn’t annoy me. And as for your hangover, take some aspirin, drink a lot of water and sleep some more.

(8:46am) Couldn’t sleep anymore, painkillers, a lot of water and a shower helped too.

(8:50am) That’s great.

(8:52am) Sorry again about last night. But you were the last person I had texted before we started drinking, so you had to suffer.

(8:55am) It’s really no problem. Sounded like you had quite a night.

(8:56am) Oh yeah, definitely.

(8:57am) I have one question though, if that’s okay.

(8:57am) Shoot.

(8:58am) Prongs????

(9:00am) It’s a nickname.

(9:01am) How does one get a nickname like that?

(9:02am) I don’t know, mate. We’re weird.

(9:02am) Do you have one? A nickname?

(9:04am) Yeah, mine’s Padfoot.

(9:05am) Interesting.

(9:07am) Are you being sarcastic?

(9:08am) Me? Never.

(9:09am) …

(9:12am) No, I wasn’t. At least not when I said interesting. I was merely wondering how you got the ideas for those nicknames.

(9:12am) Merely

(9:14am) Yes, merely.

(9:14am) Who uses this word? In a text message?

(9:16am) I do.

(9:18am) How old are you?

(9:19am) I’m 17.

(9:20am) Smartass.

~

(11:32am) Are you mad at me now?

(11:33am) I was just joking.

(11:33am) You’re not a smartass.

(11:56am) I’m not mad. I was busy.

(11:59am) Busy being a smartass?

(12:00pm) Seriously?!

(12:01pm) Oh, yes I’m always serious.

(12:02pm) Get it?

(12:02pm) Oh no, wait, you don’t.

(12:03pm) ??? Is this supposed to be a joke? Because you’re right, I don’t get it.

(12:04pm) My name’s Sirius.

(12:05pm) Oh my god.

(12:06pm) Get it now?

(12:07pm) Oh yeah, ha-ha. Very funny.

(12:08pm) Why u gotta be so rude? :’(

(12:09pm) Don’t u kno I’m human 2? :’(

(12:09pm) You did not just do this.

(12:10pm) We’re not talking anymore.

(12:11pm) :’(

~

(3:15pm) You’re not really mad, are you?

(3:18pm) Of course not. I’m not that sensitive.

(3:19pm) Good.

(3:25pm) So, what are you doing?

(3:30pm) Nothing, actually. You?

(3:34pm) Waiting for Prongs to do his bloody homework. Why does he have to do this on a Saturday? Ugh.

(3:35pm) Maybe do yours while you’re waiting?

(3:37pm) Why do you assume I haven’t done mine? I mean you’re right, but I could’ve already finished it. I feel insulted.

(3:40pm) After you quoted that song earlier I’m always going to expect the worst of you.

(3:43pm) You must really hate it.

(3:44pm) I do.

(3:52pm) Alright then, Prongs is done, talk to you later.

(3:55pm) Sure. Bye.

~

(10:27pm) r u there

(10:30pm) guess who’s drunk again

(10:35pm) pls don’t be asleep

(10:37pm) is it even night where u r?

(10:37pm) where do u live

(10:38pm) prongs says he’s gonna take my phone away if i don’t stop texting so c u tmrw

November28th

(12:14am) prongs hit his head and he was bleeding like crazy

(12:15am) he’s okay now tho

(12:15am) maybe we should stop drinking so much lol

(12:25am) r u okay?

(12:26am) i know u could be asleep bc i don’t know what time it is where u r but u haven’t texted me for hours

(12:27am) just tell me ur timezone when ure back so i know when i don’t have to worry

(12:28am) prongs is threatening to take my phone again

~

(6:21am) You’ve been the victim of my drunk texts again, I apologize.

(6:23am) But really, are you okay?

~

(4:12pm) I’m really trying to leave you in peace but it’s been a whole day since your last text and I do understand that you have your own life going on wherever you are and if you want me to stop texting you, that’s okay, but just tell me instead of letting me hang here because I’m really worried okay?

~

(5:24pm) For real, if you’re ignoring me without a reason, it’s a real dick move okay? I know we don’t know each other and you don’t owe me anything but I’m really worried. Maybe I’m overreacting, I probably am, but I have a really bad feeling about this silence from your side.

(5:25pm) Just let me know if you’re okay. I’ll leave you in peace afterwards, I promise.

November 29th

(2:30am) I have to leave for school now but I’ll leave my phone on in case you message me, okay?

~

(7:03am) I’m not going to stop pestering you until I get an answer, I don’t care if you think I’m annoying or pathetic or overreacting.

(7:04am) It’s been almost two days.

(7:05am) I really don’t know what to think of this.

~

(9:37am) Sirius, I’m really, really sorry. I never meant to worry you this much! Some bad stuff happened and I wasn’t feeling well and my phone died and I really had other things in mind. I’m so incredibly sorry.

(9:38am) Also thank you for caring, it really means a lot to me.

~

(10:34am) Jesus

(10:34am) Fucking

(10:34am) Christ

(10:35am) You’re back from the dead.

(10:35am) I’m really sorry.

(10:36am) What happened?

(10:37am) You really don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine.

(10:38am) The more you say this, the less I believe you. If you don’t want me to know just tell me. But don’t think you’re being a burden or anything because I really don’t mind if you tell me about your problems.

(10:39am) You sure?

(10:40am) Yes.

(10:45am) Well… I’ve had a lot of problems with my mental health since my childhood and generally I’ve gotten a lot better over the last two years, but lately I’ve had a lot of problems with my depression and anxiety and some other stuff and two days ago I had a really bad anxiety attack and I couldn’t help myself and I was home alone, so it kinda escalated and went on really long. When I finally managed to calm down I was really drained and I felt terrible and I needed time to recover from this, which is why I wasn't on my phone and didn't see your messages.

(10:49am) Oh my god

(10:49am) I’m so sorry about this.

(10:50am) How are you feeling now? Can I do anything to help?

(10:52am) I went to therapy this morning and I’m better now, thank you. Also just knowing that you care already helps a lot.

(10:53am) Of course I care.

(10:54am) That’s not as given as you think. There are people who’ve known me a lot longer than you, who wouldn’t notice if I disappeared for days.

(10:55am) Come on, I’m sure that’s not true.

(10:55am) It is. It’s happened before.

(10:55am) They’re dicks.

(10:57am) Anyway, how’s your friend’s head?

(10:58am) Oh, Prongs is fine. It wasn’t half as bad as it seemed. Head wounds just bleed a lot.

(11:00am) Got a lot of experiences?

(11:00am) More than good probably. Prongs and me where never really careful.

(11:01am) So, you two have been friends for long then?

(11:01am) We met when we were 11 and we’ve been like brothers ever since. Especially after I moved in with his family when I was 14.

(11:02am) That sounds great. Why did you move away from your home that early though?

(11:03am) My parents kicked me out because apparently I’m a disgrace for the family and not good for anything and I would be better off dead.

(11:03am) Please tell me they did not really say that?!

(11:04am) Meh, it’s okay. I never really got along with my parents. I just miss my brother. But it’s for the best if I stay away from him.

(11:04am) I’m really sorry about this.

(11:05am) It’s okay. The Potters are great. They’re so much more of a family than my ‘real one’ ever was.

(11:05am) That’s good to hear.

(11:05am) So what’s your family like?

(11:06am) Well, it’s just me and my parents and there’s not really much to tell. They’re gone on business trips and whatnot most of the time, so ever since I’m too old for a nanny I’m virtually living alone.

(11:06am) Do you get along with them though? I mean, when they’re around?

(11:06am) Yeah, pretty much.

(11:07am) That’s good. – But now, where do you live? And what time’s it where you are?

(11:08am) I live in New York. And it’s 11:08am.

(11:08am) New York? Like, in the city?

(11:08am) Yes.

(11:08am) Woah, what’s that like?

(11:09am) Loud, mostly. Crowded.

(11:09am) You don’t like it?

(11:09am) On my good days, I do. Days like these when my anxiety is bothering me, not so much. Too many people, too much noise.

(11:09am) Oh, yeah I get that. I really want to visit New York one day though. Or just the USA in general.

(11:10am) It’s not bad. I really don’t want to stay here for the rest of my life though. I’m probably gonna go after Lily to Brighton as soon as I can.

(11:10am) If you do that I can stalk you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(11:10am) What the fuck

(11:10am) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(11:11am) Stop

(11:11am) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(11:12am) ( ง ͠° ͟͜ ͡°) ง

(11:14am) ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

(11:15am) (¬_¬)

(11:16am) (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

(11:18am) ヽ ༼ ຈ ل ͜ ຈ ༽ ﾉ

(11:18am) What the fuck

(11:18am) This is terrifying

(11:18am) Why does this exist

(11:18am) This will haunt me in my nightmares for the rest of my life

(11:18am) Never will I be able to recover from the shock I got when I saw this terrifying monster

(11:19am) Bit of a drama queen, are we?

(11:19am) Now you sound like Prongs. I’m not a drama queen, I’m expressional.

(11:20am) *coughs* Drama queen

(11:20am) Shut it

(11:20am) Drama queen

(11:21am) I’ll tell mom you’re being mean to me

(11:21am) Drama queen

(11:21am) My mom said she’s gonna call your mom and tell her what you did

(11:22am) Lmao what are we doing

(11:22am) You started it!

(11:23am) That’s not true, you sent the first Lenny face

(11:23am) Lenny face????? Wtf????

(11:23am) That’s what it’s called.

(11:24am) Literally nobody knows this.

(11:24am) I do.

(11:25am) You’re weird.

(11:24am) Thanks.

(11:25am) So, anyway, back to the subject we were on before you unjustly accused me of being a drama queen. What more’s there to know about you? A name, for example. You know both my real name and my nick name and I’ve still been referring to you as the guy who hates ‘Rude’ in my head.

(11:25am) Alone the fact that you still did not let go of the subject proves that you’re the ultimate drama queen. Also my name’s Remus and I do in fact hate ‘Rude’ so you can keep referring to me as that if you want to.

(11:26am) Well, nice to meet you Remus-who-hates-Rude-and-really-needs-to-learn-what-drama-queen-means-before-accusing-people-of-being-one

(11:26am) Nice to meet you too, Sirius-Padfoot-absolute-biggest-drama-queen-on-this-planet

(11:27am) I’m gonna fly to New York and kick your ass

(11:28am) Dramatic.

(11:29am) Oh my god.

(11:29am) Subject change. It’s like 11:30 at your place right? Shouldn’t you be in school or anything?

(11:31am) I don’t go to school right now. I barely managed to finished High School because of my disorders and then I was in a clinic for a few months so at the moment I’m not doing anything.

(11:31am) So you’re like just at home all day?

(11:31am) Pretty much. I have therapy three times a week and this month I started career counselling but to be honest sometimes I’m already overwhelmed with this. It’s stupid, I know.

(11:32am) It’s not stupid. You just need time, I’m sure you’ll get through this.

(11:32am) Yeah, I hope so.

(11:35am) So I gotta go now, Prongs says I gotta go to the grocery store with him and Dad. I’ll text you later, okay?

(11:36am) Sure. Bye.

~

(10:45pm) I think it’s like three am over there and you’re probably asleep but I just wanted to thank you for today. Not only for caring if I was okay, but also for afterwards. You really cheered me up a lot. Thank you.

Chapter Text

December 20^th

(10:34am) Oh my god Sirius I finally got Lily’s right number!!!! It’s been so long oh my god I’m so happy right now!!!!!

(10:35am) Awesome!

(10:36am) Though I am assuming since you have your friend back I won’t be needed anymore?

(10:37am) ????

(10:37am) What the fuck

(10:37am) Come on not even you are that stupid

(10:38am) ‘Not even me’ now I’m also being insulted this is just terrible *sobs in corner*

(10:39am) Honestly, how do you not see what a drama queen you are?

(10:39am) More insults! What a cruel person! Kick the man when he’s already lying on the ground.

(10:40am) Please tell me again why I like you because I don’t remember

(10:40am) You like me?

(10:41am) Sirius we’ve been texting back and forth for almost a month now even though we are in no way connected or have anything to do with each other. Why else would I do this if not because I like you?

(10:42am) Because you didn’t have Lily’s number

(10:42am) I really can’t tell if you’re joking right now or not, but I really hope you are

(10:43am) I mostly was, but thank you though. I like you too, you weirdo.

(10:43am) Drama queen

(10:44am) What was that for???

(10:45am) You called me a weirdo.

(10:46am) But you are one

(10:46am) And I swear to go if your next message is ‘but you are a drama queen too’ I will take the next plane to New York and kick your ass

(10:47am) …

(10:47am) Fine.

(10:50am) Prongs says I gotta go help him buy some last-minute Christmas presents please rescue me.

(10:51am) Come to New York and we can boycott it together.

(10:52am) You don’t like it either?

(10:53am) Not anymore. Lots of bad memories come up over the holidays, so I’m doing my best to ignore them.

(10:54am) Oh no. Are your parents gonna be home?

(10:54am) Not really. They’ll come back on the 22^nd but on the 24^th they’re leaving for France.

(10:55am) Fuck. Do you think you’ll be alright?

(10:55am) Sure. I’ll get through it.

(10:55am) And if you’re not feeling well, you know you can message me anytime.

(10:56am) Yes. Thank you, Sirius.

(10:58am) No problem. I gtg now though, Prongs is getting impatient.

(10:58am) Bye, have fun.

(10:58am) Thanks.

December 23^rd

(3:45am) are you there?

(3:47am) I think it’s early at your place so you’re probably not awake yet

(3:47am) Please text me when you wake up

(3:55am) Lily isn’t there either I don’t know what to do

(4:00am) Sirius I’m so sorry but please just wake up I need you right now

*unanswered call 4:01am*

*unanswered call 4:05am*

(4:15am) hey, what’s wrong?

(4:15am) Sorry, I was asleep

(4:15am) What happened? Do you want me to call you?

(4:16am) No, I just wanted to try and wake you up

(4:16am) I can’t talk right now, texting is better

(4:17am) Okay, tell me what’s wrong

(4:17am) My parents came back today

(4:17am) And I was trying to tell them how much worse I’ve been feeling lately and I asked them if it was possible that they stayed over the holidays, so I wouldn’t have to go through this alone

(4:17am) but they just ignored it

(4:18am) They don’t care, they don’t give a shit

(4:18am) I feel so horrible right now, it’s like 4am and I can’t stop crying and I’m shaking and I’m so anxious

(4:18am) I really don’t know what to do

(4:18am) nobody gives a shit about me

(4:19am) Remus, I’m so sorry your parents acted like this

(4:19am) This is so horrible of them

(4:19am) If I had the money I would take the next plane and fly over

(4:20am) I care about you okay?

(4:20am) And Lily does too

(4:20am) You can get through this alright?

(4:20am) I’ll text you day and night and we can skype if you want to, you won’t be alone, I promise you. I’m here for you, okay?

(4:21am) thank you so much

(4:21am) I’m just so scared

(4:22am) It’s gonna be okay

(4:22am) I promise

(4:22am) I’m here for you

(4:23am) Thank you so much Sirius

(4:23am) Anytime. How are you now?

(4:24am) Slightly better. I’m gonna look if I have some of my sleeping pills left, hold on a moment

(4:24am) Okay

(4:27am) I took one, so hopefully I’m gonna be able to sleep soon.

(4:28am) That’s good. If you need anything, I’m here.

~

(12:27pm) Thank you so much for last night. I’m really sorry I bothered you but I really didn’t know what to do and I just panicked…

(12:29pm) No reason to apologize. I’m glad you reached out and let me help you, alright? Never hesitate to do so.

(12:29pm) How are you now though? Do you feel better?

(12:30pm) More or less.

(12:31pm) You wanna talk about it?

(12:32pm) No, it’s alright.

(12:32pm) You sure?

(12:33pm) Yeah

~

(3:26pm) You there?

(3:27pm) Yeah, what’s up?

(3:27pm) I’m on the bus and it’s really full

(3:27pm) I just need some distraction

(3:28pm) Oh I’m good at that

(3:28pm) Knock, knock

(3:29pm) … really?

(3:29pm) Knock, knock

(3:30pm) *very long, very dramatic sigh*

(3:30pm) Who’s there?

(3:30pm) Annie

(3:31pm)… Annie who

(3:31pm) Annie…thing you can do I can do better

(3:31pm) This was so much worse than I thought it would be

(3:32pm) Shut up I’m hilarious

(3:32pm) Compared to your jokes, I think the crowded bus is actually the better option

(3:32pm) #r00d

(3:33pm) #stopsiriusfrommakingbadjokes2k14

(3:34pm) #siriusisonhiswaytonewyorktokicksomerudeblokesbutt

(3:34pm) #canwestophashtaggingnow

(3:34pm) #never

(3:34pm) #ourfriendshipisover

(3:34pm) #no

(3:35pm) Seriously, stop

(3:35pm) Did you mean… siriusly

(3:36pm) No

(3:36pm) Yes, you did

(3:36pm) *prays that my stop comes soon so won’t have to put up with your jokes anymore*

(3:37pm) *prays that Remus’ bus has a delay and he is trapped in there for hours with nothing else to do than laugh at my amazing jokes*

(3:37pm) I don’t even know how to respond anymore

(3:38pm) Okay I’ll make it easier for you

(3:38pm) Knock, knock

(3:38pm) No

(3:38pm) Knock, knock

(3:39pm) Nobody’s home, go away

(3:39pm) *rings doorbell 47 times while aggressively knocking*

(3:40pm) fine. Who’s there?

(3:40pm) Go to the door and check for urself u lazy ass

(3:41pm) Did you even try

(3:41pm) You wanna say I’m not funny :’(

(3:41pm) I wanna say your jokes are terrible

(3:42pm) But are they funny

(3:43pm) Probably not. But my humour is so fucked up that I laugh at most of them though

(3:43pm) Also I’m at my stop now

(3:44pm) I have some stuff to do but I’ll text you later

(3:44pm) Okay, bye. Let me know if you wanna hear some more jokes

~

(11:57pm) are tou awale

(11:57pm) siriud

*unanswered call 11:58pm*

(11:59pm) wakru p

(12:00am) cnon

(12:13am) Are you drunk?

(12:14am) ni

(12:14am) np

(12:14am) no

(12:15am) I’m having troubles believing this

(12:16am) I’m not deunk

(12:16am) I’m hifg tho

(12:16am) Please tell me you just smoked some weed

(12:17am) …

(12:17am) Remus what the fuck did you take?

(12:18am) chill

(12:18am) jsut some xtc

(12:19am) Jesus Christ Remus

(12:19am) How much did you take? You can’t even type properly. Are you okay?

(12:20am) I’m greay

(12:20am) I havwnt felt thsi good in months

(12:22am) I just googled a little and it says you should drink a lot because your body temperature rises. Go get some water.

(12:24am) I ddi

(12:24am) Good. Keep drinking okay? And for god’s sake, be careful

(12:25am) I am

(12:26am) Are you sure you’re alright

(12:28am) Yes. Its nto bad Sirius its relaly great blieve me I feel so good

(12:28am) That’s great, Remus. I’m worried though. You shouldn’t do this

(12:29am) Its rlly graet tho I feel so good

(12:29am) I like u a lot sirius u know taht righy

(12:30am) I do, Remus. I like you a lot too, yeah?

(12:31am) okya

(12:32am) even tho I dont know why

(12:33am) You’re a great guy, Remus. Even though you sometimes do stupid things. Like this. Why did you take it?

(12:34am) bc it feels good adn I wanted ro feel good for once

(12:34am) I had a rlly bad dax

(12:35am) Why didn’t you tell me?

(12:36am) bc I ddnt want to annyo you

(12:37am) You don’t annoy me, Remus. I want to be here for you. Do you want to tell me what happened?

(12:37am) or maybe not because I read that people on ecstasy tend to share a lot more than they would sober and I don’t want you to tell me something you wouldn’t want me to know

(12:38am) you wouldnt tell anuone would uou

(12:28am) Of course not

(12:39am) not that theer even is someone u could tell bc I don know anyone

(12:40am) but my parents were aful roday

(12:41am) What did they do?

(12:42am) I tried to talk to them again about what iw anted to tell them yestredat but they kept ignoring me and they were too busy planning their trip to frnace tomorrow

(12:42am) I’m so sorry

(12:43am) also I’m rlly moody and senstiive bc I’m getring my perion soon and I’m having horrible cramps

(12:43am) wait what

(12:44am) ??

(12:44am) I thought you were a guy

(12:44am) I am

(12:45am) Okay I’m really not trying to be rude or anything, I honestly don’t understand. Why and how do you get your period when you’re a guy

(12:46am) I’m trans

(12:47am) oh

(12:47am) okay

(12:48am) do u think i’m weird nw

(12:49am) Of course not, Remus!

(12:50am) I’ve just never met someone who was trans before, so it took me a little by surprise

(12:50am) I’m sorry

(12:51am) There’s no need to apologize, Remus.

(12:51am) do u thikn that I’m not rlly a guy now

(12:51am) Why would I think that?

(12:52am) bc I dont look like one adn I dont sound like one and I donr have the rifht body

(12:53am) Those things don’t define if you’re a boy or a girl, alright? If you say you’re a boy then you are one.

(12:53am) do u rlly think so

(12:53am) Yes

(12:54am) thank u sirius

(12:54am) Nothing to thank me for.

(12:58am) Lily is awke now I’m gonna call her

(12:58am) ill text u latr

(12:58am) Alright. Take care of yourself and don’t forget to drink enough!

December 24^th

(5:40am) Hey

(5:43am) Hey, how are you doing?

(5:44am) I’m good. It’s almost completely worn off now

(5:44am) I’m sorry I spammed you last night

(5:45am) Don’t worry about it, I spammed you too when I was drunk

(5:45am) Can I ask you something?

(5:45am) Of course

(5:46am) Are you mad at me because I got high yesterday?

(5:46am) No. Frankly, I wish you hadn’t done it, but I’m not mad at you.

(5:47am) And you really don’t have a problem with me being trans?

(5:47am) Of course not.

(5:48am) Thank you. I’m gonna go to sleep now, I’ll text you when I wake up, alright?

(5:48am) Yes. Sleep well.

(5:48am) Thanks.

~

(7:53am) You’re probably still asleep but I just wanted to let you know that Prongs just showed up with a bloody life-size reindeer figure and put it in the living room and he insists on keeping it there so I’m taking the next plane to New York and come to your place okay this is not normal

(8:03am) Update:  He is currently decorating it with fairy lights and tinsel I am worried about his sanity

(8:08am) Update: Wormtail showed up and he likes it too.

(8:20am) Update: parents came home and they’re gonna let him keep it

(8:21am) Update: Its eyes are creeping me out

(8:23am) Update: This is the first time in my life that I am the normal person in the room and I don’t like it

~

(12:34pm) Did he name it?

(12:37pm) ????

(12:38pm) The reindeer. Did he give it a name?

(12:39pm) I tell you my friend brings home a life-size reindeer figure and it’s currently standing in our living room watching me with its eyes of doom and the only thing that concerns you about it is what it’s called?

(12:39pm) Yes

(12:40pm) You know what never mind what I said about coming to your place, you’re just as weird as the other ones here

(12:40pm) Also so far we’ve just been referring to it as Prongs 2.0

(12:41pm) Cool

(12:41pm) Not cool

(12:41pm) Also who the fuck is Wormtail

(12:42pm) A friend

(12:42pm) Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs? Are you guys okay?

(12:43pm) Any other day and I would say yes without hesitation, but considering Prongs 2.0 with its eyes of doom is staring at me as I’m typing this, I am not so sure about it

(12:43pm) Eyes of doom? Really?

(12:43pm) They’re creepy as fuck, okay? They’re staring right into my soul and Prongs 2.0 can see all my deepest fears and secrets and it will use them against me and kill me because it knows I don’t like it

(12:44pm) Do you honestly not see what a drama queen you are

(12:45pm) …

(12:45pm) Maybe I’m a little dramatic

(12:45pm) But only when it’s absolutely necessary

(12:46pm) Sure, if believing that makes you feel better

(12:47pm) You can be a real asshole sometimes, do you know that?

(12:47pm) Yes

(12:47pm) Good

(12:47pm) Doesn’t mean I don’t like you though

(12:47pm) Because most of the time you’re a sarcastic asshole and I like sarcasm

(12:48pm) Thank you, I guess

(12:48pm) Prongs feels neglected, he says if I don’t stop texting he’s gonna put Prongs 2.0 in our bedroom I can’t risk this

(12:49pm) Alright, bye

(12:49pm) I’ll be back as soon as I can without risking Prongs 2.0 killing me in my sleep

~

(2:45pm) My parents left now so I’m alone again ugh

(2:45pm) Wanna know what they said when I literally begged them to stay with me because I was scared of what I would do to myself if I had to be alone over the holidays?

(2:45pm) ‘Talk to your therapist about this’

(2:45pm) And then they just left

(2:45pm) I may or may not have broken a 2000$ vase because I was angry

(2:45pm) Also I just bought a shitload of stuff that they can pay for

(2:45pm) And I ordered the most expensive food I could find

(2:45pm) If they don’t want to take care of me at least they can have something to do paying my credit card bill

(2:46pm) Not that a few hundred dollar are a big deal for them ugh

(2:46pm) I should have bought a car

(2:46pm) But then again I can’t drive so what for

(2:50pm) Your parents sound like dicks

(2:50pm) Also good job about the vase

(2:50pm) And what stuff did you buy?

(2:51pm) Nothing interesting, clothes, books, movies

(2:51pm) How much did it cost

(2:52pm) 489$

(2:52pm) Oh my god

(2:52pm) Can’t you give me that money

(2:53pm) You can have it if I get a family who cares about me

(2:53pm) Come to England and move in with us

(2:53pm) I wish

(2:54pm) I’ll come and get you

(2:54pm) If Prongs 2.0 is allowed to stay, I’m sure you are too

(2:54pm) Unless you have eyes of doom

(2:54pm) Do you have eyes of doom?

(2:55pm) I’m pretty sure I do not have eyes of doom

(2:55pm) Good. Then you can stay

(2:55pm) I warn you though, Prongs farts in his sleep

(2:56pm) Thanks for the warning, I’ll be prepared

(2:57pm) Anyway, my food is here now, I’ll talk to you later

(2:58pm) Okay, enjoy your meal

~

December 25th

(5:21am) Merry Christmas Remus

(5:21am) I know you don’t like it but I hope you have a great day though, okay?

(5:21am) And if you’re not feeling well or need someone to talk or anything else, I’m here for you, alright?

(5:22am) You’re not gonna annoy or bother me, so don’t hesitate to text me

~

(8:34am) I officially hate Prongs now

(8:34am) He got me a ‘Dream Dazzlers Hair Party Bucket’ for Christmas

(8:34am) And he is currently busy fitting 200 pieces of hair bands, hair clips and bobby pins in my hair

(8:34am) All of it in various shades of pink, purple and blue and very glittery

(8:34am) If you don’t hear from me anymore, I’m in prison for murder

~

(10:43am) Fun fact: it takes exactly forty-seven minutes to get 200 hair clips and whatnot out of your hair and you will end up nearly bald

~

(3:24pm) If I’m correct it’s like 3pm at your place and I still haven’t heard from you all day. Are you alright?

December 26^th

(4:02am) I’m so sorry I didn’t message you again last night, but we went out and my phone died and I was really tired when we got back so I went straight to sleep

(4:02am) I hope you’re okay, please message me, yeah?

~

(7:54am) Remus please message me!!

(7:54am) Maybe I’m being paranoid but after what happened last time you didn’t answer, I’m really worried

(7:54am) Just message me as soon as you see this.

(7:54am) I’m here for you, okay? I promise everything’s gonna be alright.

~

*unanswered call 12:47pm*

~

*unanswered call 1:26pm*

(1:28pm) Dammit, Remus

~

(2:57pm) IT’S BEEN EXACTLY TWO DAYS SINCE YOUR LAST MESSAGE OKAY

(2:57pm) AND YES I’M SHOUTING

(2:57pm) I’M REALLY WORRIED OKAY JUST PLEASE BE OKAY

December 27^th

(4:24am) Remus I swear to everything holy if I don’t hear from you today I will come to New York and find you

(4:24am) I’m really fucking worried okay

~

(5:41am) Flights to New York are bloody expensive but I will swim over if I have to

(5:42am) Message me!!!!!!

~

(8:12am) Remus, this is Prongs. I got your number from Sirius. I don’t know what’s going on, but he’s really worried about you so if you are reading this, just let one of us know if you’re okay. You don’t have to explain anything, but please text one of us back.

~

(11:13am) Please don’t be mad that I told Prongs okay? I didn’t tell him any details I just said that I’m worried about you because you’re not texting back.

~

*unanswered call 1:14pm*

~

*unanswered call 2:48pm*

~

(10:47pm) It’s almost four am here and I can’t sleep because I’m really worried about you. I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty, but I really don’t know what to do. I know we don’t know us that long but you’re really important to me, okay? Please please please just be alright.

Chapter Text

December 28^th

(7:12am) I fucked up

(7:12am) Sirius I fucked up really badly

(7:12am) I’m so sorry okay I’m really sorry

(7:12am) I fucked up oh my god

(7:14am) REMUS

(7:14am) HOLY MOTHER

(7:14am) WHAT HAPPENED WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN OH MY GOD

(7:15am) I’m so incredibly sorry okay

(7:15am) I fucked up big time

(7:15am) I’m so fucked Sirius oh god

(7:16am) Tell me what happened

(7:17am) Don’t be mad okay?

(7:17am) I won’t. I promise

(7:20am) Shit. Okay. I told you the holidays were bad for me because a lot of bad memories come up. But I thought I was fine, you know. I really thought it was gonna be okay this time because I knew I had you and Lily if I needed to talk. But then I was watching TV and something came on that triggered a flashback and I got a panic attack and I fucked up okay I fucked up big time. I self-harmed and it’s really fucking bad okay I think I should have gone to see a doctor but I was really fucking anxious and I couldn’t leave the house and I couldn’t call anyone. I took care of it as good as I could. But I was in so much pain and I felt really really horrible and the flashbacks kept coming again and again and I just wanted to stop thinking so I took some Xanax and some other stuff I had around. I barely remember anything from the last two days. I have to go to therapy tomorrow but if I tell her what happened my parents are going to kill me and then put me back in the clinic

(7:20am) I don’t want to go back there Sirius I can’t go through this a second time

(7:20am) I don’t know what to do

(7:21am) I’m so sorry okay I’m terrible

(7:22am) Shit

(7:22am) Remus please go see a doctor okay? And please tell your therapist even if you are scared. You need help, okay? Please get it. I’m really sorry this happened to you and I wish I could have been there. Please take care of yourself, yeah?

(7:23am) Is there anything I can do? ANYTHING

(7:23am) I really want to help you

(7:23am) I don’t know

(7:24am) I can’t tell my therapist Sirius

(7:24am) What if they put me back in the clinic

(7:25am) Was it really that bad there?

(7:25am) It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it’s really demanding and exhausting and I really can’t do this.

(7:25am) And if anyone finds out I started doing drugs again I’m dead

(7:26am) Fuck

(7:26am) I’m so sorry for pulling you into this Sirius

(7:26am) I think I shouldn’t message you anymore I bring nothing but trouble

(7:27am) NO

(7:27am) Don’t say that

(7:27am) I’m not gonna let you stop messaging me

(7:27am) You’re my friend and I’m gonna help you as good as I can

(7:28am) You won’t get rid of me

(7:29am) You really don’t have to do this, Sirius.

(7:29am) I’m not a person anyone wants to have in their life and I know that. It’s okay.

(7:29am) You shut up right now

(7:30am) You’re my friend and I’m with you and I’m gonna stay with you

(7:31am) But if you change your mind just tell me

(7:32am) That’s not gonna happen

(7:32am) Sirius…

(7:32am) Fine. Sure. Whatever you want. I promise

(7:33am) Thank you.

(7:34am) So are you gonna see a doctor now?

(7:35am) No

(7:35am) It’s not that bad.

(7:36am) Remus, please

(7:37am) Really. I took proper care of it now and it’s gonna heal just fine. I know what I’m doing, okay? I got a sickening amount of experience with this shit

(7:38am) Alright. How are you feeling apart from that?

(7:40am) Tired. Afraid. Sick.

(7:40am) When’s the last time you ate or drank something?

(7:41am) I did drink a lot of water this morning, but I can’t keep any food down right now, so that’s gonna have to wait.

(7:42am) Okay. Just try again when you’re feeling better. And get some sleep, yeah?

(7:42am) Alright, I’ll try to. I’ll text you again later.

(7:43am) Sleep well. And text me as soon as you wake up, okay?

(7:44am) I promise

~

(8:16am) Also btw Prongs says he hopes you feel better soon (I just told him you were having some problems right now, hope that is okay)

~

(4:21pm) I’m back. Slept surprisingly well.

(4:21pm) Tell Prongs I said thank you

(4:24pm) Also I just read your messages again and I’m very disappointed I didn’t get a picture of your hair

(4:27pm) Never

(4:27pm) Never ever will anyone see me like this again

(4:27pm) Prongs tried to take pictures and I nearly broke his phone

(4:28pm) Are you afraid it would ruin your reputation?

(4:29pm) Yes.

(4:29pm) Glittery pink is not punk rock

(4:30pm) Oh so you’re punk rock

(4:30pm) Yes

(4:30pm) As is everything I do, say and wear

(4:31pm) For example being afraid of a reindeer figure?

(4:32pm) It has eyes of doom okay

(4:32pm) And knock, knock jokes?

(4:33pm) Only if they’re funny

(4:34pm) But yours aren’t

(4:35pm) *gasp*

(4:35pm) I can’t believe you just said that

(4:35pm) You insult my jokes

(4:35pm) How dare you

(4:36pm) Drama queens are also punk rock?

(4:36pm) I think I misunderstood the meaning of punk rock my whole life

(4:36pm) But now that I know what it really means, I think my grandma is punk rock too

(4:37pm) She loves jokes and she’s always very dramatic too

(4:38pm) Oh my god

(4:39pm) I can give you her number

(4:39pm) You two could form a punk rock club

(4:40pm) I’m not talking to you anymore

(4:40pm) She could knit matching sweaters for you two

(4:40pm) With a logo

(4:41pm) So everyone would know you’re a punk rock club

(4:42pm) I don’t have words for how badly I want to strangle you right now

(4:42pm) If you come over to strangle me you can use the opportunity and meet my grandma, she lives nearby

(4:43pm) Shut up

(4:43pm) Do you want me to create the logo for your punk rock club

(4:44pm) I want you to shut up

(4:44pm) You’re the worst

(4:45pm) Now I feel insulted

(4:45pm) I just wanted to help you find other punk rock people

(4:45pm) :’(

(4:46pm) I’m done talking to you

(4:46pm) :’(

December 29^th

(03:11am) Prongs, Wormtail and me are going to Birmingham today so sorry if I don’t text much. You text me anytime if you need me though, okay? Hope therapy goes well! Please tell them about what happened. You can do this okay?

~

(7:50am) Hope you have a fun time with your friends!

~

(9:20am) I just finished therapy

(9:20am) It went okay, I’ll tell you later about it though, I’m really exhausted right now.

~

(3:20pm) We just got back home

(3:20pm) I’m glad therapy went well. How are you now?

(3:21pm) Did you have a nice day? And I’m alright. I slept some more when I got home.

(3:21pm) It was great.

(3:21pm) What did they say? Do you have to go back to the clinic?

(3:22pm) No. I didn’t tell her I took drugs. But I told her everything else.

(3:22pm) Are you sure it’s good idea to keep this secret?

(3:23pm) Yes. She would just make a huge deal about it.

(3:23pm) …

(3:23pm) It is a big deal

(3:23pm) It’s not good for you

(3:24pm) Shut up

(3:24pm) You have no fucking idea what’s going on with me okay

(3:24pm) Believe me, drugs are my smallest problem

(3:25pm) Okay, hey, I’m sorry okay? I’m just worried

(3:32pm) Remus? Please don’t be mad, okay? I didn’t want to upset you.

~

(5:14pm) Ugh I’m sorry okay

(5:14pm) I’m really moody right now

(5:14pm) I know you only wanted to help

(5:16pm) It’s okay. I’m glad you’re not angry

(5:16pm) Of course not. And I’m sorry I snapped okay? It’s a shitty time right now.

(5:17pm) It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.

December 30^th

(5:14am) Remus

(5:14am) Hey

(5:14am) Wake up

(5:14am) hey Remus

(5:14am) hEy

(5:15am) rEmUs gEt uP

(5:15am) For Christ’s sake Sirius it’s 5am you better have a good reason for turning my phone into a vibrator

(5:15am) I do

(5:15am) What

(5:15am) Did you hear about that movie ‘Constipation’?

(5:16am) Wtf

(5:16am) no

(5:17am) That’s because it hasn’t come out yet

(5:17am) get it?

(5:17am) Oh my god

(5:17am) You did NOT just wake me up at 5 am to tell me a fucking joke

(5:17am) a fucking HORRIBLE JOKE

(5:17am) SIRIUS I’M GOING TO KILL YOU

(5:18am) Come on, it’s really funny

(5:19am) I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU

(5:19am) YOU ARE THE WORST

(5:20am) You laughed. Admit it. It’s funny

(5:21am) FUCK OFF

(5:21am) Rude.

(5:21am) We both know you laughed, Remus

(5:22am) Admit it

(5:22am) I’m funny

(5:25am) Did you go back to sleep?

(5:27am) I got more jokes

(5:27am) Wake up

(5:28am) I’m just gonna wait here

(5:28am) And collect more jokes to tell you

  ~

(10:24am) Are you awake yet?

(10:26am) No. Fuck off.

(10:27am) What does Batman put in his drink?

(10:27am) Your throat after I ripped it out

(10:28am) No…

(10:28am) Just ice.

(10:30am) Get it

(10:33am) It’s funny admit it

(10:35am) I haven’t even had my coffee yet so kindly fuck off

(10:36am) You’re very rude when you’re tired

(10:36am) I like it

(10:36am) It’s adorable

(10:37am) You’re like grumpy cat

(10:38am) Oh my god Sirius shut up

(11:00am) Are you done with your coffee?

(11:01am) … yes

(11:01am) Wanna hear another joke?

(11:02am) I really don’t.

(11:02am) But this one is funny, I swear. Prongs told it to me

(11:03am) Jesus Christ. Fine. Tell me.

(11:03am) Do you need an ark?

(11:03am) Because I Noah guy

(11:04am) Can you please tell Prongs that I hate him

(11:04am) If this is his definition of a good joke then no wonder you think you’re funny

(11:05am) Shut up I’m hilarious

(11:06am) Sure

(11:06am) I’m gonna go take a shower now. I’ll text you later okay?

(11:07am) Wait a moment

(11:07am) You’re not angry because I woke you up, are you?

(11:08am) No. But if you do it again I will kill you

(11:09am) Alright. Talk to you later

(11:09am) Bye

~

(1:12pm) Can you please admit that you laughed at least at one of my jokes because Prongs doesn’t believe me

(1:12pm) Will it lead to more jokes?

(1:12pm) Your answer has no influence on the amount of jokes I will tell you

(1:13pm) Yes. I did laugh

(1:13pm) And then I cried

(1:13pm) Of laughter?

(1:14pm) Of disbelief that someone would tell those jokes

(1:14pm) They’re funny

(1:14pm) Sure

(1:15pm) Jokes aside, how are you doing?

(1:16pm) Meh. I got horrible cramps and it makes me feel dysphoric. But I’ll be fine.

(1:17pm) I’m sorry about that. Can I do anything to help? Maybe a joke could cheer you up?

(1:18pm) NO

(1:18pm) ok :(

(1:18pm) For real though, if I can do anything to help let me know, okay?

(1:18pm) I will. Thank you.

~

(8:24pm) Sirius please tell me you’re still awake

(8:24pm) You won’t believe me what just happened

(8:25pm) What’s up?

(8:25pm) I told my therapist about how my parents reacted when I asked them to stay here and she said she would write them an e-mail and tell them that I really need their support right now

(8:26pm) And apparently they just read it. You won’t believe what they sent me back

(8:27pm) What

(8:27pm) They asked me to ‘please not take familial stuff to my therapist as this does not affect anyone but us’

(8:28pm) What the fuck

(8:28pm) Do they know what a therapist is or…?

(8:29pm) I really don’t get what’s going on with them lately

(8:29pm) They used to be so supportive

(8:29pm) I don’t know what happened

(8:30pm) I’m really sorry about that. I hope it will get better soon.

(8:31pm) Thank you.

(8:31pm) Anyway, I think it’s really late at your place, I didn’t want to keep you up

(8:32pm) It’s okay, I wasn’t planning on going to sleep yet anyway. What are you doing?

(8:33pm) Just reading. Hbu?

(8:34pm) Watching TV, but nothing good is on. What are you reading?

(8:34pm) Wuthering Heights

(8:35pm) Really?!

(8:36pm) Yes

(8:36pm) I had to read it for school and I nearly died. I gave up after three chapters and flunked the test

(8:37pm) I like it

(8:38pm) Well, you do you, Remus.

(8:38pm) I’m gonna let you read now. Talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight

(8:39pm) Goodnight

December 31^st

(7:00pm) HAPPY NEW YEAR REMUS

(7:00pm) Sirius it’s not midnight here

(7:01pm) BUT HERE IT IS

(7:01pm) I’M TEXTING YOU FROM 2015

(7:02pm) I ALREADY KNOW THAT THIS YEAR IS GONNA BE GREAT

(7:04pm) That’s great

(7:05pm) I PROMISE YOU REMUS, OKAY? THIS YEAR WILL BE AWESOME

~

(12:00am) Happy New Year, Sirius

(12:01am) WELCOME TO 2015

(12:01am) IT’S GONNA BE AWESOME

(12:03am) You’re very optimistic

(12:04am) YES BECAUSE 2015 WILL BE AWESOME

(12:04am) JUST TRUST ME IN THIS REMUS

(12:04am) IT’S GONNA BE GREAT OKAY?

(12:05am) Okay. I trust you

Chapter Text

January 18^th

(4:12pm) My parents are gonna be back in 20 minutes please rescue me

(4:13pm) Hide in your closet

(4:13pm) I’ve been in there for 16 years of my life I won’t go back

(4:14pm) REMUS JULIO RICARDO MONTOYA DE LA ROSA RAMIREZ

(4:14pm) what the fuck

(4:14pm) DID YOU JUST MAKE A PUN

(4:14pm) A COMING OUT PUN

(4:14pm) I WILL MARK THIS DAY IN MY CALENDAR

(4:15pm) THE DAY REMUS MADE A PUN

(4:16pm) Alright calm down

(4:17pm) AFTER MILLENNIUMS OF SHAMING ME FOR MAKING PUNS

(4:18pm) REMUS MAKES A PUN HIMSELF

(4:18pm) HYPOCRITE

(4:18pm) I don’t shame you for making puns, I shame you for making bad puns

(4:18pm) Also we don’t even know each other for two months so shut up about millenniums

(4:19pm) I HAVE TO TELL PRONGS

(4:19pm) I TAUGHT YOU TO MADE PUNS

(4:20pm) You did not teach me anything, shut up

(4:21pm) MY CHILD I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

(4:21pm) I hate you

(4:21pm) YOU ARE GROWING UP TO BE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER

(4:21pm) Sirius what the fuck is wrong with you

(4:22pm) PRONGS CONGRATULATES YOU FOR YOUR JOKE

(4:23pm) If you don’t shut up about it I’m gonna turn my phone off

(4:24pm) But

(4:25pm) No

(4:25pm) *whispers* I am still proud of you my child

(4:25pm) stop calling me your child

(4:25pm) My sweet, innocent child

(4:26pm) Daddy ;)

(4:26pm) NO

(4:26pm) ABORT

(4:26pm) ABORT MISSION

(4:27pm) YOU ARE NEITHER INNOCENT NOR SWEET I TAKE IT BACK

(4:27pm) Don’t you love me anymore Daddy :(

(4:27pm) DO NOT CALL ME THAT

(4:28pm) But Daddy :(

(4:29pm) S T O P

(4:29pm) Are you gonna punish me Daddy

(4:30pm) CHRIST, DON’T YOU HAVE ANY SHAME BOY

(4:30pm) I AM ENDING THIS CONVERSATION HERE AND NOW

(4:31pm) But Daddy please

(4:31pm) GOODBYE

January 19^th

(2:31am) First of all I wanted to let you know that I am still traumatized

(2:31am) Second of all I know you’re probably asleep but I’m leaving for school in a few and before I forget, I wanted to ask how it went with your parents yesterday

(2:34am) I sincerely apologize for traumatizing you, but you provoked me.

(2:34am) Also things with my parents went fine, thank you for asking

(2:35am) WHY AREN’T YOU ASLEEP YOUNG MAN

(2:35am) Because I can’t

(2:36am) COUNT SHEEPS

(2:36am) Stop shouting at me

(2:37am) *whispers* this better?

(2:38am) Yes, thank you

(2:40am) I’m running late and I really have to leave now, try and get some sleep alright?

(2:41am) Alright, have a good day at school

(2:41am) Thank you

~

(11:47am) just wanted to let u know padfoot talked abt u all day and it was annoying as fuck okay  

(11:49am) Uhm? Sorry?

(12:14pm) THAT WAS WORMTAIL OKAY AND I JUST FINISHED MURDERING HIM

(12:15pm) What did you do with the body?

(12:17pm) I’m making a barbecue and I’m gonna feed him to people I hate

(12:17pm) Smart

(12:17pm) So...

(12:17pm) You’ve been talking about me

(12:18pm) SHUT UP

(12:18pm) Only good things I hope

(12:19pm) I said you’re a sarcastic asshole and you say my jokes aren’t funny and you traumatized me

(12:19pm) Rude

(12:20pm) THAT’S MY LINE

(12:20pm) IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT OKAY I CAN’T STOP SAYING IT

(12:20pm) I was about to say something about how you’re my child but I’m not going there again

(12:21pm) …

(12:21pm) Don’t say it

(12:21pm) Alright

(12:22pm) Thank you

(12:23pm) So how’s it going with your parents?

(12:24pm) It’s okay. They’re gonna come with me to therapy tomorrow and hopefully we’ll be able to clear things out

(12:24pm) That’s great.

(12:24pm) Can I ask you something else?

(12:24pm) You don’t have to answer though if it makes you uncomfortable

(12:25pm) Shoot

(12:26pm) How are your wounds doing? Are they healing alright?

(12:27pm) Oh. Yeah, they’re healing just fine.

(12:28pm) Okay, that’s good.

(12:28pm) Yeah

January 21^st

(2:50pm) Please kill me

(2:50pm) I’m begging you to kill me

(2:53pm) What’s wrong?

(2:54pm) After therapy we went to the mall and I had a horrible anxiety attack and I collapsed (I didn’t pass out, but my legs gave in) and everyone stared at me and at least ten people ran up to me and I know they just wanted to help but it made everything so much worse

(2:54pm) I really just want to die right now it was so embarrassing

(2:55pm) I’m so sorry this happened. But you don’t have to be embarrassed, it’s not your fault, yeah?

(2:55pm) Everyone thinks I’m a freak now

(2:56pm) I’m sure they don’t. And if someone does, they’re an asshole okay? Don’t beat yourself up over this

(2:56pm) Okay…

(2:57pm) Can I do something to help you?

(2:57pm) No, I’m okay. Thank you Sirius

(2:58pm) Anytime. You know I’m here if you need me.

~

(6:04pm) REMUS IT IS YOUR TURN TO KILL ME NOW

(6:04pm) What happened

(6:05pm) IT IS 11PM AND I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE A TEN PAGE ESSAY DUE TOMORROW

(6:05pm) STOP TEXTING ME AND START WORKING

(6:05pm) I will never manage to do this oh my god please kill me

(6:06pm) LESS TEXTING MORE WORKING

January 22^nd

(2:14am) I DID IT

(2:14am) REMUS I FUCKING DID IT

(2:14am) I HAVEN’T SLEPT ALL NIGHT BUT I FINISHED THIS BLOODY ESSAY OH MY GOD

(2:15am) I’M GONNA DRINK A TON OF COFFEE NOW AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL BYE

~

(8:14am) I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT

(8:14am) CONGRATS

(8:14am) Also on another note my mom noticed that I broke the vase

(8:14am) She was not very happy

~

(11:32am) My parents are taking me out for lunch please rescue me I don’t want to go out

(11:53am) I just got back from school. Hope lunch with your parents goes well

(12:20pm) We’ve been here for 15 minutes and I got called ‘miss’ four times I want to jump off a cliff

(12:21pm) Punch them

(12:21pm) I’d love to

(12:22pm) What did your mom say about the vase?

(12:22pm) She lectured me about how this was a designer piece and that I should be more careful and about how much it had been worth

(12:23pm) My parents say I gotta stop texting, talk to you later

(12:25pm) Bye, enjoy your meal

~

(2:45pm) We finally got back home

(2:45pm) Who the hell needs two hours to eat lunch

(2:45pm) Spoiler alert it’s my parents

(2:46pm) Also they said I was rude for correcting the waiter when he called me ‘miss’

(2:47pm) Did you ever tell them how you treat me? Because I don’t think they know how rude you can be

(2:47pm) Aren’t you a poor thing

(2:48pm) That’s exactly what I’m talking about

(2:48pm) Show them these messages so they know what a rude son they have

(2:49pm) Oh yes, sure. ‘Hey mom, dad, look at those messages I sent to a stranger in England who I’ve been texting day and night for months. He wants me to show you how rude I can be. Who this is? Oh, we don’t know us at all, but it’s cool, we get along, you know?’

(2:49pm) I don’t see what could go wrong with this

(2:50pm) Me either, so go ahead and do it.

(2:50pm) Sure

~

(5:41pm) Did you know that elephant bulls don’t move their hips during sex because their penis thrusts on its own?

(5:43pm) Do I want to know why and where you learned this?

(5:43pm) I’m watching a documentation about elephant reproduction on Netflix

(5:44pm) That’s… actually not as bad as I expected the answer to this question to be

(5:45pm) Why do you always expect me to be doing some really weird shit? I’m normal, okay?!

(5:47pm) You and your best friends’ nicknames are Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs. You drunk texted me about how you drank some weird mixed liquor and puked for an hour when we knew each other for like one day. You are the biggest drama queen existing also you tell the worst jokes existing but honestly think they’re funny. Also there is a life-size reindeer figure in your living room which, according to you, has ‘eyes of doom’. Tell me again how normal you are.

(5:48pm) … you got me there.

(5:48pm) I’m not a drama queen though

(5:49pm) I’m not having this discussion again

(5:50pm) It wouldn’t be a discussion if you would just admit that I’m not drama queen

(5:50pm) Isn’t it time for you to go to sleep?

(5:53pm) No. Admit I’m not a drama queen.

(5:53pm) I would, but that would be a lie and I don’t lie.

(5:54pm) I hate you

(5:54pm) I hate you too, my drama queen punk rock daddy and now go to sleep

(5:55pm) I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY THIS WORD ANYMORE

(5:55pm) Goodnight.

(5:55pm) Goodnight you asshole

January 23^rd

(1:54am) I’m going to kill Prongs

(1:56am) You just killed Wormtail four days ago, you might wanna lie low for a while before you take out your next victim

(1:58am) He poured a bucket of cold water over me to wake me up

(1:58am) Oh okay you’re right, you should definitely kill him

(1:58am) Thank you

(1:59am) I’ll write you letters when you’re in prison okay?

(2:00am) Nice

(2:34am) I’m gonna go to school now and I very much hope you’re asleep! Goodnight, Remus

~

(10:14am) Funny story my parents just told me they’re gonna fly to Italy tonight please excuse me while I go scream for 47 years

~

(11:27am) It’s not been quite 47 years but if you’re done screaming just know that I’m gonna go to Italy and kick your parents’ asses

(11:28am) Thank you

(11:29am) No problem. Also when I’m done kicking their asses I will hide in their suitcase and come with them to New York okay?

(11:29am) Sounds great. I’m looking forward to it

(11:30am) So is Prongs still alive?

(11:31am) For now, yes.

(11:31am) But I’m not sure how much longer.

(11:31am) I’ve spent the last half hour trying to convince him to finally throw out that damn reindeer

(11:33am) He just said if I don’t shut up he will put it in our room brb crying

(11:34am) Poor Padfoot

(11:35am) You better not be sarcastic

(11:35am) This is a matter of life and death!!!

(11:36am) Please explain to me how this is a matter of life and death

(11:37am) I told you before, Prongs 2.0 knows that I hate it and if it gets into our room it will kill me in my sleep

(11:38am) Then stop discussing with Prongs and let the damn reindeer stay

(11:39am) But it’s creeping me out

(11:39am) Did you tell Prongs that?

(11:40am) No

(11:40am) He’s gonna make fun of me

(11:40am) Well, what is the better option? The reindeer or Prongs making fun of you?

(11:41am) ugh

~

(2:48pm) REMUS GRAB THE CHAMPAGNE IT IS TIME TO CELEBRATE

(2:50pm) Who’s pregnant?

(2:50pm) Me. It’s yours. It’s gonna be a boy and I shall name him little slobber

(2:51pm) Please promise me you will never get children

(2:52pm) You think I won’t be a good father?

(2:52pm) Not if you name your child little slobber

(2:53pm) Rude

(2:53pm) BUT JOKES ASIDE DAD MADE PRONGS PUT PRONGS 2.0 OUTSIDE IN THE GARDEN

(2:53pm) I AM FREE

(2:54pm) I bet Prongs 2.0 will think it’s your fault he has to be outside now and he will take revenge by killing you slowly and painfully

(2:54pm) I hate you so much right now

Chapter Text

February 16^th

(1:47am) Prongs just told me we have a maths test today

(1:47am) I am so fucked

(1:47am) Wish me luck okay

~

(7:16am) I totally failed this test please pray for me

~

(11:48am) You’ve been awfully quiet lately

(11:48am) Are you alright?

(12:59pm). Sorry, I’m not on my phone a lot

(1:03pm) Are you okay though?

(1:04pm) I am.

(1:04pm) Okay. That’s the important thing

(1:04pm) So what have you been up to?

(1:05pm) Not much. I’ve just been busy

(1:05pm) Busy doing not much?

(1:06pm) Christ, Sirius just fuck off

(1:06pm) ???

(1:06pm) What the fuck???

(1:06pm) What did I do?

(1:15pm) Look if something’s wrong you can tell me but you don’t have to be all cranky and aggressive okay? I just tried to catch up with you because you haven’t been telling me anything for like two weeks. Sorry for trying to be a good friend.

~

(4:48pm) I’m sorry I said that

(4:48pm) I didn’t mean it, okay?

(4:50pm) It’s okay. Thank you for apologizing

(4:50pm) So… is there anything you want to talk about?

(4:51pm) Sorry, but I can’t really talk right now. I’ll text you later okay?

(4:51pm) Oh

(4:52pm) Alright, bye

~

(11:49pm) I JSUT WANRED TO LET U KNO TAHT URE A GREAT FRIEND AND I LOVR U OK

(11:49pm) SORRY OVE BEEN AN ASSJOLE LATELY

(11:50pm) URE AWESOME OK

February 17^th

(2:37am) LILY SSYS MAYBE I CAN VISTI HER IN THE SPRING

(2:37am) IF O DO I WILL COME C U TOO OKAY

(2:38am) DONT THINK IMW EIRD NOW I JUST LIKE U A LOR OKYA

(2:38am) IM RLLY GLSD I SENT THOSE TEXTS TO THE WRONH NUMBER

(2:39am) I GTG NOW UBT ILL TEXT U LATER AGAIB OK ILY

~

(4:01am) Please tell me you were just unusually euphoric last night

(4:01am) Without the help of any kind of pills

(4:02am) Apart from that, thank you though. You’re a great friend too, and you haven’t been an asshole lately. And if you really want to visit me, I would be very happy about it. Just please let me know if you’re okay. I love you too, alright?

~

(12:48pm) Sorry about last night

(12:51pm) Did you take drugs again?

(12:51pm) Do I really need to answer this?

(12:51pm) Why did you take them?

(12:52pm) Just because they make me feel good.

(12:53pm) Did something happen?

(12:53pm) My birth

(12:54pm) Remus…

(12:54pm) Just tell me what’s wrong

(12:55pm) I have to go now, talk to you later

(12:55pm) No, wait

(12:58pm) Remus please

*unanswered call 1:04pm*

(1:06pm) Please talk to me

(1:10pm) I’m here for you, alright?

~

(4:47pm) I am so dead

(4:50pm) What happened?

(4:50pm) When I was like 14 I had a really bad drug problem. And when I started recovery and therapy when I was 16, my parents agreed that my therapist could do random drug tests because that was the only way they could keep me from lying about my relapses. And I completely forgot about this shit because it’s been so long since the last one. But she noticed I’ve been behaving weirdly the last two weeks so she did one today

(4:51pm) She’s calling my parents right now

(4:51pm) Fuck

(4:51pm) Can I ask what you took?

(4:52pm) Mainly ecstasy and methadone

(4:53pm) And… not-mainly?

(4:54pm) I’d rather not talk about it

(4:54pm) Okay. Sorry

(4:55pm) What are you gonna do now?

(4:56pm) I don’t know.

(4:56pm) I’m really scared

(4:56pm) I don’t want to go back to the clinic

(4:57pm) It’s gonna be okay, yeah?

(4:57pm) Just take deep breaths and stay calm

(4:58pm) I have to go now. I’ll text you as soon as I know more

February 18^th

(2:18am) Hope you’re alright!! Message me as soon as you can!

~

(11:20am) Are you home from school yet?

(11:21am) I’m here! So what happened?

(11:22am) Well, good news is, I don’t have to go to the clinic

(11:22am) Bad news is, I’m on complete lockdown

(11:23am) Meaning?

(11:24am) I’m not allowed to leave the house unless mom, dad or both are with me. Also I’m only allowed to have my phone when I’m in the same room as them

(11:24am) So they’re back?

(11:25am) Oh yeah they had to come back

(11.25am) Then they raided my whole room and took all my drugs and everything I could possible use to hurt myself

(11:25am) At first their reaction wasn’t even that bad

(11:26am) At first?

(11:26am) Yep. Up until my dad found the crack

(11:27am) Bloody hell Remus

(11:27am) shit

(11:27am) please no

(11:28am) You don’t have to say anything okay my dad did the whole speech

(11:28am) How I’m fucking stupid for risking my life with this shit and how he was never gonne give me a single cent again since I’m throwing my money out for shit like this

(11:29am) Oh and not to forget how he’s gonna beat me senseless if he ever catches me doing something like this again

(11:29am) Really helpful you know

(11:29am) It’s not like this made me feel like shit which is the actual reason I took those drugs

(11:30am) Shit Remus. He shouldn’t have said that, I’m so sorry

(11:30am) You’re not stupid okay? You did something stupid, but you had your reasons. I’m not defending what you did because we both know that was wrong, but you don’t deserve to be called stupid or to get beaten up for it.

(11:31am) Thank you, Sirius. I have to go help my mom with lunch now. I’ll text you as soon as I got my phone again

(11:32am) Alright. Keep your head up, yeah?

(11:32am) I will, thank you

February 19^th

(12:09pm) My phone’s awfully quiet

(12:09pm) Hope you’re alright, I miss you a lot

~

(4:18pm) Prongs says he’s gonna beg your parents to give you your phone back because apparently I’m being cranky when I’m not talking to you

(4:18pm) Don’t let that go to your head okay

(4:19pm) But for real I hope you get your phone back soon!!

February 20^th

(2:32am) I’m leaving for school now and if I don’t have at least one message from you when I come back I’m gonna scream

~

(11:36am) *screams*

~

(1:13pm) Feels good to know I’m being missed.

(1:14pm) REMUS

(1:14pm) HALLELUJAH

(1:15pm) Glad you’re so happy to hear from me

(1:15pm) I HAVE A JOKE I NEED TO TELL YOU

(1:15pm) … of course you do

(1:16pm) What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

(1:16pm) …?

(1:17pm) A carrot!

(1:17pm) Oh god

(1:17pm) It might be because I missed you really badly but this one wasn’t even that bad

(1:17pm) NOT THAT BAD

(1:18pm) REMUS SAYING IT’S NOT THAT BAD MEANS IT’S FANTASTIC

(1:18pm) I’LL TELL PRONGS

(1:18pm) HE SAID IT WAS LAME

(1:18pm) It was definitely a lot better than his ark joke I can tell you that

(1:18pm) HA!

(1:19pm) I KNEW IT I’M FUCKING HILARIOUS

(1:19pm) Yeah no I wouldn’t go quite that far

(1:19pm) I HAVE ANOTHER ONE

(1:20pm) Tell me

(1:20pm) What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

(1:20pm) One’s very heavy and the other one’s a little lighter

(1:21pm) NEVER MIND WHAT I JUST SAID YOU ARE THE WORST

(1:21pm) I’M NOT, I’M HILARIOUS

(1:22pm) SHUT UP YOUR JOKES ARE THE WORST I HATE YOU

(1:22pm) MY JOKES ARE AMAZING

(1:25pm) Fun fact apparently me smiling is now seen as me behaving suspiciously what a time to be alive

(1:27pm) Aw I made you smile

(1:27pm) Shut up

(1:27pm) You’re the one being cranky when I’m not around to put up with your stupid jokes

(1:28pm) Rude

(1:33pm) NOOOOO

(1:33pm) ???

(1:34pm) I have to go eat dinner

(1:34pm) How long can you have your phone?

(1:35pm) I don’t have a time limit, as long as I’m in the same room with them I can have it

(1:35pm) When are you gonna be back?

(1:36pm) I’ll probably have to help clean up, so in about an hour?

(1:36pm) Alright I’ll ask if I can have it again then. Enjoy dinner

(1:37pm) Thank you. Talk to you later

(1:37pm) Bye

~

(2:45pm) Please be there!!!

(2:46pm) I’m here!

(2:46pm) YES

(2:47pm) Hold on a second I need to punch Prongs in the face

(2:48pm) What did he do?

(2:49pm) He makes fun of me for being excited that you have your phone

(2:49pm) Rude

(2:50pm) I TOLD YOU THIS IS MY LINE

(2:50pm) IT’S YOUR FAULT YOU INFECTED ME WITH IT

(2:53pm) remus did u know padfoot talks abt u in his sleejlbklivhb,ijl

(2:53pm) ???

(2:54pm) THAT WAS PRONGS

(2:54pm) HE TOOK MY PHONE

(2:54pm) I LOCKED MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM NOW

(2:55pm) Do you really talk about me in your sleep?

(2:55pm) SHUT UP

(2:56pm) Does that mean yes?

(2:56pm) IT MEANS SHUT UP

(2:56pm) Fine. I’m gonna give my phone back and go to my room

(2:57pm) DON’T LEAVE ME

(2:57pm) Then stop telling me to shut up

(2:58pm) Do you wanna hear a joke

(2:58pm) Do I have a choice?

(2:58pm) Not really

(2:59pm) Fine. Tell me

(2:59pm) What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

(2:59pm) ?

(3:00pm) Roberto!

(3:00pm) Oh my god

(3:00pm) NO

(3:01pm) It’s amazing admit it

(3:02pm) Christ

(3:02pm) I’m sobbing

(3:03pm) I hate you so fucking much for this joke oh my god

(3:04pm) I shit you not when my mother asked me what I was laughing about and I told her the joke she asked me if I was high

(3:04pm) I hate you so much

(3:04pm) I MADE YOU LAUGH

(3:04pm) I TOLD YOU I’M HILARIOUS

(3:05pm) Wait you’re not in trouble though are you? Because she asked you if you were high I mean

(3:05pm) No, don’t worry. They know I had absolutely no way of getting any drugs somewhere

(3:06pm) Good

(3:08pm) I’m really sorry, my mom said I have to put the phone away and do my chores now. I’m probably gonna need a while for them so I’m fairly sure it would be too late at your place by then. It was really great talking to you today! I’ll text you tomorrow, yeah?

(3:08pm) :(

(3:08pm) Text me again as soon as you can, alright? It really was great today!

(3:09pm) I will. Have a nice evening!

(3:09pm) Thanks. You too

February 21^st

(9:57am) Hey

(9:58am) HEY

(9:58am) Don’t yell

(9:58am) BUT I’M EXCITED

(9:58am) Why?

(9:58am) YOU’RE THERE

(9:59am) I’M HERE

(9:59am) Not for long though. My mom’s preparing brunch right now so I’m gonna have to go eat in like a minute

(10:00am) Nooooo

(10:01am) Are you gonna get your phone again afterwards?

(10:01am) I don’t know. I’ll give my best though.

(10:01am) Mom says I have to go eat now. Talk to you soon!!

(10:02am) Alright, hope you have a good time!

~

(5:08pm) Your parents have to give you your phone I’m bored!!!

(5:08pm) Also I miss you!

~

(7:47pm) Prongs says I’m being cranky again tell your parents they’re indirectly torturing at least two other people by not giving you your phone!!!

~

(10:01pm) It’s 3am I’m gonna go to sleep now

(10:01pm) Hope you’re back tomorrow! Goodnight Remus

February 22^nd

(3:16am) Hey Remus this is Prongs and I just wanted to tell you if your parents won’t stop taking your phone away I will have to murder Padfoot because not only doesn’t he shut up about you when he’s awake but he also keeps saying your name in his sleep. FOR EXAMPLE RIGHT NOW. Can you please like come over here and make him shut up

(3:16am) Also I really hope you’ll feel better soon! (Sirius didn’t tell me any details, don’t worry okay? He just said you were in a difficult situation right now) Also if Padfoot ever annoys you too much, you have my number. Message me anytime.

(5:21am) JUST SAYING YOU WON’T HEAR FROM ME FOR A WHILE BECAUSE I’LL BE IN PRISON FOR MURDERING PRONGS BY SHOVING HIS BLOODY REINDEER SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE CHOKES ON IT

~

(1:39pm) Ok so I’m not in prison but it feels like you are because you still didn’t text

(1:39pm) If I don’t hear from you soon I’m gonna start to send smoke signals

~

(7:25pm) Your parents are dicks and I miss you a lot okay!!!

February 23^rd

(11:04am) Can you please finally get your phone back ugh

~

(1:42pm) First of all I want to thank Prongs for telling me this very sweet fact. Also I very much appreciate the creativity with which you planned his murder. Kudos for this. Also I’m glad you’re not in prison and yes, it really does feel as if I am in one. Smoke signals are great but unfortunately I would not be able to answer since I’m not allowed to leave the apartment to make some. And lastly, I miss you a lot too!!!

(1:45pm) REMUS

(1:45pm) WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

(1:46pm) My parents were mad at me and wouldn’t let me have my phone

(1:46pm) Why were they mad?

(1:47pm) Because I got angry and shouted at my dad when he got my pronouns wrong

(1:47pm) I know he didn’t do it on purpose and I apologized for it, but I was feeling really dysphoric that day and it irritated me so much

(1:48pm) I’m so sorry

(1:48pm) Is there a chance you’re getting your phone back permanently anytime soon?

(1:49pm) It’s barely been a week. So I really doubt it.

(1:50pm) Ugh

(1:50pm) Apart from the phone though, how are you doing?

(1:52pm) Do you want the nice version or the honest one

(1:52pm) Honest

(1:53pm) Are you sure?

(1:53pm) Yes

(1:56pm) Withdrawal is nowhere near as bad as last time and the physical part of it is over but it’s fucking me up mentally pretty bad right now. I’m having extreme mood swings and it’s making my anxiety so much worse, especially at night. I can’t talk to my parents about this, it’s not even that they don’t understand or anything, but I just can’t. And since I don’t have my phone I can’t message Lily or you so I have to go through it alone. I’m really fucking lonely and I’m having suicidal thoughts again and I’m really scared. I miss you and Lily so much. Also my parents said I’m not allowed to go visit Lily in England when she has spring vacation. If I’m lucky, they’ll let me go in the summer.

(1:57pm) God Remus I’m so sorry

(1:57pm) I wish I could be there right now

(1:57pm) Can’t you tell your parents that you need to talk to Lily at night because of your anxiety?

(1:58pm) I did. They said if it’s really that bad, I should talk to them

(1:58pm) What about your therapist? Doesn’t she understand?

(1:59pm) She said the same thing.

(1:59pm) I know we’ve never met in person but I miss you so much right now

(2:00pm) I just feel so terrible and I just want to cry but if I do they will take my phone away

(2:00pm) Can I do anything to help you?

(2:00pm) I miss you too, okay? I love you lots and I swear it’s gonna get better soon.

(2:01pm) Just hang in there mate

(2:01pm) I’m gonna save up money and I will come visit you as soon as I can okay? It will probably take me a while but I swear I will

(2:02pm) I promise it’s gonna be fine

(2:03pm) Thank you so much Sirius

(2:03pm) You have no idea how much this means to me

(2:04pm) As soon as this whole situation here has calmed down I’m gonna convince my parents to let me go this summer, alright? They have more than enough money they just have to let me

(2:05pm) It’s gonna work out somehow alright? And if you come here you I can show you Prongs 2.0 and you will finally stop making fun of me for being scared of its eyes of doom because you will see how truly terrifying they are and you can meet Prongs too and we can do whatever you want to, okay? It’s gonna be alright.

(2:05pm) Thank you so much Sirius.

(2:06pm) Anytime

(2:06pm) Promise you’re gonna give everything so we’ll be able to make this happen, yeah?

(2:07pm) I promise

Chapter Text

March 10^th

(11:42am) SIRIUS GUESS WHAT

(11:43am) WHAT

(11:43am) I’M OFFICIALLY AN ADULT NOW ALSO MY PARENTS GAVE ME BACK MY PHONE

(11:44am) WHAT

(11:44am) IS IT YOUR BIRTHDAY TELL ME IT IS NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY WHY DID I NOT KNOW

(11:44am) IT IS MY BIRTHDAY BUT DID YOU NOT LISTEN I HAVE MY PHONE BACK WHICH MEANS I CAN SPAM YOU AGAIN DAY AND NIGHT

(11:45am) OH MY GOD YES

(11:45am) BUT ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF ADULTS PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT MATE ARE YOU READY FOR TAXES WOOHOO

(11:45am) WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME NOW I DON’T HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU

(11:45am) I DON’T WANT GIFTS OKAY SHUT UP BUT ALSO THANK YOU

(11:46am) ARE WE EVER GONNA STOP SCREAMING

(11:46am) NO

(11:47am) OKAY

(11:47am) PRONGS SAYS HE WISHES YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY

(11:48am) TELL HIM THANK YOU ALSO I CHANGED MY MIND CAN WE STOP SCREAMING NOW

(11:48am) Okay

(11:48am) Okay

(11:49am) So what are your plans for today?

(11:50am) I don’t have any, to be honest

(11:50am) REMUS JULIO RICARDO MONTOYA DE LA ROSA RAMIREZ THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

(11:51am) not again

(11:51am) also what do you expect me to do I don’t have any friends

(11:52am) Well I don’t know your full name so I have to get creative

(11:52am) Stealing a name from Zach and Cody is not very creative

(11:53am) Okay you got a point there

(11:54am) ALSO IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS THEN GO OUT AND MAKE SOME GO TO A CLUB AND ENJOY YOUR NEWLY WON FREEDOM AND DRINK UNTIL YOU PUKE

(11:55am) Sirius…

(11:55am) First of all, my parents did give me my phone back, but I’m still not allowed to go anywhere on my own. And even if I was, I live in America. I’m not allowed to drink for three more years

(11:56am) Christ

(11:56am) And driving age is 16 over there right

(11:56am) Getting 18 is no fun in the US your birthday is cancelled go back to bed

(11:57am) Alright bye

(11:57am) REMUS ELIZABETH MARIA ULRICH SANDERSON DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE NOW

(11:58am) You used a German name plus my initials spell Remus I’m very proud of you

(11:58am) Thank you, I gave my best

(12:03pm) My parents are taking me out for lunch and we’re nearly at the restaurant. I don’t want to risk making them angry and having to give up my phone again, so I’ll text you later, okay?

(12:04pm) DIDN’T I JUST SAY YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE ME

(12:04am) For real though, have fun and enjoy your meal

(12:04pm) I’m sorry, okay! And thank you

~

(4:14pm) Sirius I need you and your very punk rock traits

(4:14pm) My grandma is here and I need you to distract her from me with your punk rock jokes and your inner punk rock drama queen

(4:16pm) Why would I help you when you’re just making fun of me

(4:16pm) I’m not making fun of you

(4:16pm) You’re saying I’m not punk rock

(4:17pm) That’s not true, I just said you have very punk rock traits

(4:17pm) The same as my grandma does so you have to come here and distract her

(4:18pm) I hate you

(4:18pm) That’s okay you don’t have to talk with me when you come here, just distract my grandma

(4:18pm) You can tell her some jokes and tell her about the punk rock club

(4:19pm) Oh and ask her about the sweaters

(4:20pm) This conversation is over

(4:20pm) I’m leaving now

(4:20pm) Nooooo

(4:21pm) Really you need to help me she’s pissing me off okay I’m gonna freak out

(4:21pm) What’s she doing?

(4:22pm) She keeps calling me by my birth name and calls me her little girl and I just want to scream

(4:22pm) Do it

(4:22pm) Every time she says something like this just start screaming

(4:23pm) I’m sure she’ll stop then

(4:23pm) Good idea

(4:23pm) But my parents would kill me

(4:23pm) You just have to scream so loud it will paralyze them

(4:24pm) Okay

~

(8:10pm) She finally left

(8:10pm) I’m free

(8:12pm) Yay

(8:13pm) Go to sleep

(8:13pm) NO

(8:13pm) I’m only starting to get drunk

(8:14pm) THE NIGHT IS YOUNG MY DEAR REMUS

(8:14pm) AS AM I

(8:14pm) I HAVE TO ENJOY MY YOUTH WHILE IT LASTS

(8:14pm) SOON I WILL WILT AND THESE DAYS WILL BE NOTHING BUT FADED MEMORIES

(8:16pm) Oh my god

(8:16pm) Please stop drinking this is awful

(8:17pm) BUT REMUS MY DARLING

(8:17pm) DON’T YOU WANT ME TO LIVE MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST

(8:18pm) If it means having to endure text messages like these, then no. I don’t want you to live your life to the fullest

(8:19pm) DON’T BE GRUMPY MY LOVE

(8:19pm) SOON YOU WILL BE OLD ENOUGH TO RELISH THE JOYS OF ALCOHOL

(8:19pm) Stop talking like that

(8:19pm) DON’T BE MAD, MY BELOVED REMUS

(8:20pm) SMILE

(8:21pm) Do me a favour and get yourself tested because there is something seriously wrong with you

(8:21pm) And NO, I did NOT mean siriusly

(8:22pm) THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME MY LOVE FOR I AM JUST HAPPY TO BE ALIVE AND WELL

(8:23pm) Stop calling me those things you sound stupid and you will regret this tomorrow

(8:24pm) BUT DARLING

(8:24pm) No

(8:25pm) MY LOVE

(8:26pm) Stop

(8:27pm) MY DEAR

(8:28pm) I’m leaving now

(8:28pm) DON’T LEAVE ME MY BELOVED

(8:29pm) Goodnight Sirius

(8:39pm) Have fun with your friends

(8:30pm) WELL THEN

(8:31pm) HAVE A GOOD NIGHT MY SWEET REMUS

(8:31pm) DON’T LET THE BED BUGS BITE YOU

March 11^th

(5:48am) Okay I see it now

(5:48am) You were right I am a drama queen I admit it are you happy now

(5:48am) Also I hope you know that after admitting this I can never talk to you again okay

(5:48am) Goodbye

~

(9:21am) BUT SIRIUS MY DEAR

(9:23am) No

(9:23am) MY BELOVED

(9:23am) I got it okay I’m a drama queen you can stop now

(9:24am) MY LOVE

(9:24am) BYE

(9:25am) MY DARLING

~

(2:15pm) I still hate you okay but I need to tell you a joke

(2:16pm) Please don’t

(2:16pm) What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

(2:16pm) I really don’t want to know

(2:17pm) A private tutor!!!!!!

(2:18pm) This is the end of our friendship I am no longer talking to you

(2:18pm) Rude

(2:20pm) Still rude

(2:24pm) Stop ignoring me

(2:25pm) !!!!!!

(2:30pm) COME BACK TO ME BABY

(2:30pm) COME BACK CAUSE I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

(2:30pm) COME BACK TO ME BABY

(2:30pm) CAUSE I NEED YOU HERE

(2:30pm) NOW I’M PRAYING FOR A BETTER DAY

(2:30pm) THAT WE CAN FIND A WAY

(2:30pm) TO MAKE THIS FEELING LAST

(2:31pm) TELL ME WHY I HAVE TO BE ALONE

(2:31pm) HOW CAN WE CARRY ON

(2:31pm) WITH THIS PAIN INSIDE OH GIRL

(2:38pm) I can’t believe you just quoted US5

(2:38pm) I don’t even know what to say anymore

(2:38pm) Please never interact with people you are terrible

(2:38pm) MY SWEET REMUS YOU HAVE RETURNED

(2:39pm) Turn off caps lock or stop texting me

(2:39pm) Why so grumpy my love

(2:40pm) Please read the last hour of our conversation and tell me how I could not want to strangle you right now

(2:41pm) You’re adorable when you’re angry do you know that

(2:41pm) Shut up

(2:41pm) Aww

(2:41pm) I hate you

(2:42pm) Aww

(2:42pm) I hate you too my sweetheart

(2:43pm) Oh my god

March 12^th

(6:03pm) Guess who does not want to go to school tomorrow

(6:03pm) That’s right ME

(6:04pm) Guess who does not have to go to school tomorrow

(6:04pm) That’s right ME

(6:05pm) Just so you know I hate you a lot okay

(6:05pm) Thank you

(6:06pm) What do I have to do that you will go to school for me tomorrow

(6:06pm) If you get me there in time I promise I will

(6:06pm) Alright hold on a moment I’m swimming over to get you

(6:07pm) Awesome I’ll pack my things

(6:07pm) You know what you don’t have to, I’m just gonna stay in New York, alright? They can’t make me go to school if I’m not even on the right continent

(6:07pm) Good plan

(6:07pm) When will you be here do you want me to order pizza

(6:08pm) Yes, please

(6:08pm) Awesome

(6:10pm) …

(6:10pm) I wish it was that easy in reality

(6:10pm) Me too…

(6:11pm) Why can’t you live here?

(6:11pm) Why can’t you live here?

(6:11pm) Ugh

(6:11pm) It’s not fair

(6:11pm) It really isn’t

(6:12pm) Can I ask you something

(6:12pm) Of course

(6:13pm) You said you wanted to come to England this summer, right?

(6:13pm) Yeah. Well, if my parents and my therapist allow me to go

(6:13pm) If you come to England…

(6:14pm) Would you really want to meet me?

(6:15pm) Well… yeah

(6:15pm) I mean if you want to as well

(6:16pm) Of course I do

(6:16pm) I just wasn’t sure if you had really meant this or not

(6:16pm) Sirius, why wouldn’t I want to meet you?

(6:16pm) Because I’m annoying

(6:17pm) So? Me too

(6:17pm) You’re just as much my best friend as Lily is, okay? I love you

(6:17pm) Thank you Remus

(6:17pm) I love you too

(6:18pm) Now go to sleep alright?

(6:18pm) You have to get up early tomorrow

(6:19pm) Ugh. Kill me now, please

(6:19pm) Goodnight

(6:19pm) Night

March 13^th

(1:16am) Please kill me

(1:16am) I’m so fucking tired I’m going to cry

(1:18am) It’s okay

(1:18am) Have some coffee

(1:18am) You can do this

(1:19am) GO TO SLEEP

(1:19am) YOU BASTARD COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW LUCKY YOU ARE

(1:19am) Jesus

(1:19am) PLEASE go get some coffee

(1:20am) Go to sleep okay sleep for me I’m begging you

(1:20am) Alright. Have a nice day at school, okay? Text me as soon as you’re back

(1:21am) Thank you. Sleep well

~

(7:14am) My mom just woke me up any said I have to go to the gym with her because apparently I’m not doing enough please kill me now

(7:14am) I’m tired also I hate exercise

(7:14am) ALSO WHO THE FUCK GOES TO THE GYM THIS EARLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER

~

(10:29am) I just wanted to inform you that I died

(10:29am) Please come to my funeral so Lily isn’t all alone there okay

~

(11:38am) WELL IF YOU HAD GONE TO SLEEP EARLIER YOU WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THIS TIRED

(11:38am) Condolences to your death though

(11:38am) I will attend your funeral and I will bring flowers

(11:39am) Will you make a speech?

(11:39am) Of course

(11:39am) It will be heart breaking

(11:39am) We are gathered here today because Remus whateverhislastnamewashenevertoldme, was a lazy fuck and couldn’t survive two hours at the gym.

(11:40am) I will always remember what a sarcastic asshole he was and how he criticised my jokes day and night.

(11:40am) Not a day passed without him being extremely rude to me.

(11:40am) Goodbye Remus you bastard I hope you burn in hell

(11:41am) What a moving speech

(11:41am) Thank you Sirius, I feel honored

(11:42am) You’re welcome

(11:43am) Also my last name is Lupin

(11:43am) Interesting

(11:43am) Second name?

(11:44am) Guess

(11:44am) What letter does it start with?

(11:45am) Guess

(11:45am) Ugh

(11:46am) J?

(11:47am) What the fuck

(11:47am) Yes

(11:47am) HOLY SHIT REALLY

(11:47am) Yes?!?!

(11:47am) I mean I always knew I’m brilliant but this is amazing even for me

(11:48am) Maybe I’m psychic oh my god let’s try

(11:48am) What am I thinking about

(11:48am) You are thinking about how truly amazing I am and how much better I make your life

(11:48am) Actually I was thinking about pizza but whatever

(11:49am) …

(11:49am) Now I want pizza

(11:49am) Me too.

(11:49am) I’ll ask my mom if we can have pizza for lunch hold on

(11:53am) Ugh she said no

(11:53am) Apparently gym wasn’t enough, I also do have to eat healthy now

(11:54am) You poor soul

(11:54am) I don’t have a soul

(11:54am) No?

(11:55am) No, I sold it

(11:55am) What for?

(11:55am) My asshole tastes like chocolate now

(11:56am) WHAT THE FUCK

(11:56am) HOW CAN YOU CONSTANTLY COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW WEIRD I AM AND THEN SAY THINGS LIKE THIS

(11:56am) I’M TELLING PRONGS

(11:57am) …

(11:58am) PRONGS SAYS YOU’RE FUCKED UP

(11:59am) Thank you

(11:59am) Honestly Remus what the fuck

(12:00pm) I don’t know okay just let me say stupid things

(12:00pm) Just so you know I am printing this conversation and I will frame it and hang it up on my wall

(12:01pm) THIS is why I say you’re weird

(12:02pm) Fuck you

(12:02pm) Maybe later I gotta eat lunch now bye

(12:03pm) I hope you choke on it

(12:03pm) My throat is well trained, I don’t choke easily

(12:04pm) REMUS

(12:04pm) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

(12:04pm) YOU WERE SO SWEET AND INNOCENT WHEN I MET YOU

(12:04pm) WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU MY CHILD

(12:05pm) NONONONO I TAKE THAT LAST ONE BACK

~

(2:04pm) Hey daddy

(2:05pm) STOP

(2:06pm) I’M BEGGING YOU

(2:07pm) You started it

(2:08pm) I TOOK IT BACK

(2:08pm) So?

(2:08pm) SO I DON’T WANT YOU TO SAY THIS

(2:08pm) YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH FOR SUCH FILTHY LANGUAGE YOUNG MAN

(2:08pm) But Daddy I’m a big boy now :(

(2:09pm) NO

(2:09pm) I SAID STOP

(2:10pm) What are you gonna do, spank me?

(2:10pm) OH MY GOD

(2:10pm) YOU NEED JESUS

(2:10pm) I NEED TO TALK TO YOUR PARENTS

(2:10pm) YOU ARE ROTTEN

(2:10pm) R O T T E N

(2:11pm) :(

(2:11pm) Rude

(2:12pm) THAT’S MY LINE

(2:12pm) Not anymore

(2:12pm) I officially stole it now

(2:12pm) I will sue you

(2:13pm) Bring it on

Chapter Text

April 10 ^th

(2:56pm) Ugh

(2:56pm) Ugh?

(2:56pm) Ugh

(2:56pm) Ugh!

(2:56pm) Can you please fly over here like right now

(2:56pm) I’m on my way

(2:56pm) What’s wrong?

(2:57pm) Everything

(2:57pm) That’s a lot

(2:57pm) Tell uncle Sirius what’s going on

(2:58pm) Nice try, you’re still my daddy

(2:59pm) STOP

(2:59pm) Just tell me what’s wrong and stop being inappropriate

(2:59pm) Fine

(3:00pm) It’s a lot though

(3:00pm) It’s okay, just tell me

(3:01pm) My anxiety is really bad right now, which also makes me feel a lot more dysphoric, also my parents had a huge fight earlier today and they were shouting and yelling and I had an anxiety attack because of that. They will allow me to go to therapy on my own today and I’m really glad I’m getting my freedom back but also I’m scared because I can’t trust myself

(3:01pm) What if I fuck up again?

(3:02pm) It’s gonna be okay

(3:02pm) I know you can do it

(3:02pm) I’m here for you, yeah?

(3:03pm) Thank you, Sirius

(3:03pm) I have to leave for therapy now, talk to you later

(3:04pm) Alright, have a good time!

(3:04pm) Thanks

~

(3: 46pm) I know you’re probably still in therapy, but just a small warning Prongs, Wormtail and me are going to a party of some guy at our school now so prepare yourself for drunk texts

~

(5:57pm) Wormtail is already puking oh my god

(5:57pm) This is why we shouldn’t let him drink

~

(6:24pm) REMUS WHERE R U

(6:24pm) WHY ARENT U TXTING ME BACK

~

(7:10pm) Sirius I’m sorry but I’m really not in the mood right now, okay?

(7:10pm) Enjoy your night, and if you want to you can keep texting me but just don’t expect an answer back

(7:11pm) NO WHAT’S WRONG

(7:11pm) We can talk about it tomorrow, alright? No offense but right now I really don’t want to talk with you when you’re drunk

(7:12pm) plesae tell me whats wrong I swear I wanna help

(7:13pm) No

(7:13pm) We’ll talk tomorrow, okay? You just enjoy the time with your friends, I will be alright, I promise

(7:13pm) Goodnight

(7:16pm) NO

(7:16pm) REMUS

(7:16pm) I WANTTO HLEP YOU

~

(7:42pm) TXT ME BACK

(7:45pm) REMUS

~

*unanswered call 8:21pm*

*unanswered call 8:25pm*

April 11^th

(5:25am) Remus I’m really sorry about last night

(5:25am) I’m gonna stop drinking I swear

(5:25am) Please text me when you wake up and let me know if you’re alright

~

(9:47am) Are you awake yet?

(9:47am) Please text me, I’m sorry, okay?

~

(10:16am) I’m up

(10:16am) And you don’t have to apologize for last night, it’s not your fault.

(10:17am) Still, I’m really sorry

(10:17am) Do you want to tell me what happened yesterday?

(10:18am) I fucked up again

(10:18am) I’m so fucking terrible Sirius

(10:18am) I fucked up

(10:19am) What happened?

(10:20am) Therapy was really crappy and exhausting and on the way home I ran into an old… ‘friend’ of mine. He was one of the guys I was friends with three years ago when this whole drug disaster was going on and he asked me to go with him to meet some of the others and because I was feeling really shitty and I knew my parents wouldn’t notice if I got home a little later I went with him… But of course once we all got together everyone was getting high and they offered me some too

(10:20am) Please tell me you said no

(10:20am) I wish I could

(10:21am) Shit

(10:21am) What happened then? Did you tell anyone?

(10:22am) Oh yes, sure, I went home to my parents and I was like ‘hey dad do you remember how you threatened to beat me up if I ever did this shit again when you found my crack well guess what I just smoked some four hours ago’

(10:22am) Shit

(10:22am) I’M SORRY okay I didn’t mean to sound so snappy I know you just want to help

(10:23am) It’s okay

(10:34am) No, it’s not. I’m really sorry! But I’m just so desperate and I don’t know what to do. I would have to do one phone call to get some more and I really want to but also I don’t want to go through withdrawal again

(10:34am) Please don’t do it Remus I know you can do it

(10:34am) Delete the number

(10:35am) That’s the problem

(10:35am) I memorized it and I’m really scared of having a weak moment and calling

(10:36am) Please tell someone

(10:36am) If you’re scared of your father getting angry tell your mother or call your therapist

(10:36am) Just please

(10:37am) Shit, uh listen my mom is calling me, I have to go now.

(10:37am) I promise I’ll figure this out somehow okay

(10:38am) I believe in you okay?

(10:38am) Please stay safe

(10:38am) I will

April 12^th

(6:34am) Hope you’re alright!

~

(10:47am) Let me know if you need anything, okay?

~

(6:09pm) Sorry I didn’t text you back, I had a pretty rough day and had to stay away from my phone for a bit

(6:10pm) It’s okay, don’t worry about it. How do you feel now?

(6:10pm) I’m okay, thank you. My parents went out for dinner with a business partner or something, so I’m home alone right now, which is pretty nice to be honest

(6:10pm) Shouldn’t you be going to sleep though?

(6:11pm) That’s good

(6:11pm) Also I’m not tired yet

(6:11pm) Okay

(6:13pm) Entertain me please

(6:13pm) With what

(6:13pm) I’m literally just lying in my bed

(6:14pm) What would you do if I was there with you ;)

(6:15pm) Kick you in the face for being a fuckboy

(6:16pm) Wow rude

(6:16pm) Not my fault

(6:18pm) Alright fine if you won’t entertain me, it’s time for a joke

(6:18pm) Ugh

(6:19pm) It’s a good one I swear

(6:19pm) Three nuns are sitting on a park bench

(6:19pm) A man comes up and exposes himself to them

(6:19pm) Two have a stroke

(6:19pm) But the third one couldn’t reach

(6:20pm) Oh my god

(6:20pm) No

(6:21pm) It’s funny, you know it

(6:21pm) No

(6:21pm) Go to sleep

(6:21pm) No!

(6:21pm) Sleep is for the weak!

(6:21pm) Ehh

(6:21pm) I’m more the sleep for a week kind of person

(6:21pm) Or at least I would be if I was able to sleep

(6:21pm) I’ll come over and help you fall asleep

(6:22pm) This better be about murder and nothing else

(6:22pm) What if not

(6:22pm) Goodnight, Sirius

(6:23pm) NO

(6:23pm) It’s about murder okay

(6:24pm) You should still go to sleep

(6:24pm) But I’m not tired

(6:24pm) I have another joke for you

(6:25pm) Is it better than the last one?

(6:26pm) No joke will ever be better than that one

(6:26pm) Then I never want to hear a joke again

(6:26pm) What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?

(6:27pm) I really don’t want to know

(6:27pm) Cashew!

(6:27pm) Oh my god

(6:27pm) Please go to sleep

(6:27pm) No

(6:27pm) If you don’t want me to tell more jokes then you tell me something

(6:28pm) I don’t have anything to tell though

(6:29pm) What’s your favorite colour?

(6:29pm) Why?

(6:29pm) Just asking

(6:29pm) Blue

(6:29pm) But dark blue

(6:29pm) What’s yours?

(6:30pm) Black

(6:31pm) Oh come on

(6:31pm) What’s wrong with black?

(6:31pm) Nothing

(6:31pm) But it’s boring

(6:32pm) It’ s not boring it’s awesome

(6:32pm) Also it’s very punk rock

(6:33pm) Oh my god

(6:33pm) And it’s my last name

(6:34pm) Oh, really?

(6:34pm) Yes. You could say I’m… being sirius

(6:34pm) Oh my god

(6:34pm) I’m begging you, go to sleep

(6:34pm) No

(6:34pm) Never

(6:35pm) Fine

(6:35pm) But don’t complain tomorrow morning when you’re tired

(6:35pm) I won’t

(6:38pm) What are good movies on Netflix?

(6:38pm) Tell me you’re not about to start watching a movie

(6:38pm) …

(6:39pm) Go to sleep

(6:40pm) I’m gonna watch Scary Movie

(6:41pm) You will regret this tomorrow

(6:41pm) I won’t

(6:41pm) I’m already looking forward to text you the wonderful words ‘I told you so’

(6:43pm) Pffffft

(6:43pm) I will still get almost four hours of sleep afterwards

(6:44pm) That’s not enough and we both know that

(6:44pm) It’s enough for me

(6:45pm) Sure

April 13^th

(1:32am) I’M UP AND FIT AND READY TO FACE THE DAY

(1:34am) Of course you are

(1:34am) YOU MY FRIEND ARE A HYPOCRITE AND YOU NEED TO GO TO SLEEP NOW

(1:35am) You my friend are a liar and you need to turn off caps lock

(1:35am) Shhhh sleep now little Remus

(1:35am) I’m not little

(1:35am) Ickle Remus needs his sleep

(1:36am) Shut it

(1:36am) Hush little Remus don’t say a word

(1:36am) You better follow that advice yourself

(1:37am) I need to take a shower now so stop texting me and go to sleep

(1:37am) Don’t drown

(1:38am) How the fuck would I drown in a shower?

(1:38am) I don’t know but I’m sure you would manage it

(1:38am) I love how much trust in my survivability you have

(1:39am) I’m gonna go to sleep now have fun at school

(1:40am) Thank you and sleep well

~

(11:04am) Are you home from school yet?

(11:12am) Please text me as soon as you can!

~

(12:02pm) Sorry for the late answer, but I’m here now

(12:02pm) Are you alright?

(12:07pm) Remus

(12:09pm) I’m sorry Sirius

(12:10pm) About what? What’s going on?

(12:10pm) I’m feeling so terrible right now

(12:11pm) What’s wrong?

(12:11pm) Did something happen?

(12:12pm) No, that’s exactly it

(12:12pm) When I woke up this morning I just felt so terrible and it’s getting worse and worse no matter what I do

(12:12pm) I’ve been crying for hours and I can’t stop

(12:12pm) I really want to hurt myself but I know I will regret it

(12:13pm) Remus no

(12:13pm) Don’t hurt yourself, please

(12:13pm) I’m here for you, alright?

(12:13pm) What can I do to help you? I’ll do anything

(12:14pm) I don’t know

(12:14pm) Do you want me to call you?

(12:14pm) I don’t know

(12:15pm) I can’t really talk at the moment

(12:15pm) It’s okay, we don’t have to. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, alright? I love you, and I know you can do this!

(12:15pm) Thank you Sirius

(12:15pm) I love you too

(12:16pm) Are your parents home?

(12:16pm) No, not right now.

(12:16pm) They will be back tonight though

(12:17pm) Okay

(12:17pm) Do you want to hear a joke

(12:17pm) Sure

(12:18pm) Really?

(12:18pm) I won’t tell it if you don’t want to

(12:18pm) Just tell the joke, Sirius

(12:18pm) Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?

(12:19pm) Because he doesn’t wanna be spotted

(12:19pm) Jesus

(12:19pm) That even makes sense please stop

(12:19pm) Do you want to hear another one?

(12:20pm) I’m not so sure about that

(12:20pm) What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?

(12:20pm) …

(12:21pm) If you get the bird flu you need tweetment, if you have the swine flu you need oinkment

(12:21pm) Oh god

(12:21pm) No

(12:21pm) I think this one is the worst so far

(12:22pm) Shhh

(12:22pm) We both know you love it

(12:22pm) No

(12:22pm) Yes

(12:22pm) Shhhh

(12:23pm) Don’t shush me

(12:23pm) Shhh

(12:23pm) Fine

(12:23pm) I’ll stop talking to you then

(12:24pm) Noooo

(12:24pm) So you want me to be quiet but you don’t want me to stop talking to you?

(12:25pm) Exactly

(12:25pm) And how do I do that?

(12:25pm) I don’t know, you figure that out

(12:25pm) And while you do that I have another joke for you

(12:26pm) … Is that really necessary?

(12:26pm) Yes

(12:26pm) What’s a frog’s favourite drink?

(12:26pm) I’m begging you, don’t tell me

(12:27pm) Croaka Cola

(12:27pm) Jesus Christ

(12:27pm) No

(12:28pm) I’m gonna go now

(12:28pm) Why

(12:28pm) Come on, it was just a joke

(12:28pm) I’m gonna take a nap

(12:29pm) I need to recover from this horrible, traumatizing joke

(12:29pm) You’re so lame

(12:30 pm) Thank you

~

(3:04pm) Are you still sleeping?

(3:06pm) No, I’m up

(3:06pm) Awesome

(3:06pm) How are you feeling?

(3:07pm) Better, thank you very much

(3:07pm) That’s good

(3:08pm) Yeah

(3:08pm) I have to leave again now though, sorry

(3:08pm) I have therapy in a few

(3:09pm) Oh, okay

(3:09pm) Have a good time, talk to you later

(3:10pm) Thank you. Bye

~

(4:56pm) Guess who I just saw

(4:56pm) Santa

(4:56pm) Neil Patrick Harris

(4:56pm) NO

(4:56pm) Yes

(4:56pm) FUCK YOU

(4:56pm) Did you talk to him

(4:57pm) What the fuck

(4:57pm) I can barely order pizza without crying

(4:57pm) Also I just saw him walking down the street

(4:57pm) Next time you see him give him like a map that leads to my bedroom or something okay

(4:58pm) Wow

(4:58pm) Really?

(4:59pm) What? He’s hot

(4:59pm) He’s married

(4:59pm) Shh

(4:59pm) And he has two children

(4:59pm) Shh

(5:00pm) And he’s like 40

(5:00pm) I don’t care

(5:00pm) Nobody has to know

(5:01pm) I know

(5:01pm) And I will tell his husband and he will come and beat you up

(5:02pm) Rude

(5:02pm) You’re the one wanting to sleep with a married man

(5:03pm) So?

(5:03pm) I’m not having this discussion

(5:04pm) Why not?

(5:04pm) Because it’s never gonna happen

(5:05pm) You hurt my feelings

(5:05pm) It COULD happen

(5:06pm) No

(5:06pm) What if he gets divorced?

(5:06pm) What would you do? Come to New York and stalk him? Until he sleeps with you?

(5:07pm) I would be subtle

(5:07pm) Subtle

(5:07pm) Yes

(5:08pm) I would just be like… everywhere where he is

(5:08pm) But I would never acknowledge him

(5:08pm) And he would see me like in the gym

(5:08pm) Or when he’s out eating

(5:09pm) And I would be like the mysterious stranger

(5:09pm) And he would totally fall for me

(5:09pm) And one day he would approach me and bam – one hour later we’re fucking in his apartment

(5:10pm) Wow

(5:10pm) And that’s how I met your father

(5:11pm) A true fairy tale

(5:11pm) I know, right?

(5:12pm) Also since I’m gonna be living in New York with him, I’ll come visit you like all the time

(5:12pm) Great

(5:13pm) Do I detect sarcasm there young man

(5:13pm) Me? Sarcastic? Never.

(5:14pm) Yeah, right

(5:14pm) I will stop being sarcastic the day you stop telling jokes

(5:15pm) Never

(5:15pm) There you go

(5:17pm) My parents just came home, I gotta go

(5:17pm) It’s getting late at your place anyway, I’ll text you tomorrow

(5:18pm) Okay, have a nice evening

(5:18pm) Thank you. Sleep well

(5:18pm) Thanks

Chapter Text

May 6^th

(10:36am) Hey Lily are you there?

(10:36am) Yes

(10:37am) My parents just left and they’re gonna be gone for five days

(10:37am) I know I’ve been alone for longer, but not in a long time and I’m really scared to be honest

(10:38am) Did you tell them that?

(10:39am) Yes

(10:39am) I’ve said it before and I will say it until you listen to me: Tell your therapist that your parents just abandon you and I bet you they will make sure you can go somewhere where they will take proper care of you

(10:40am) They’re not abandoning me, they’re going to work

(10:42am) Oh sure your parents are just amazing, right?

(10:42am) Like that time they didn’t realize for two years that you were neck-deep in drugs and whatnot

(10:43am) Shut up

(10:43am) It’s not their fault

(10:44am) You know that I’m right

(10:44am) I’m just worried about you, Remus

(10:45am) I know, okay?

(10:45am) I really think you should tell someone

(10:45am) With everything that happened lately, maybe it would be better if you could go back to the clinic for a while

(10:46am) I’m not going back there

(10:46am) Remus, I know it was hard there, but look how much it helped you! Also you don’t have to go back there for that long again. Just a few weeks, maybe

(10:47am) No. I already had this discussion with my therapist about a thousand times. I’m fine. And I don’t want to go back there

(10:48am) Maybe it isn’t what you want, but I’m fairly sure it’s what’s best for you

(10:49am) Oh yes excuse me, I forgot that you know me better than I know myself. Why don’t you make ALL my decisions from now on?

(10:50am) This is not about me making your decisions. This is about you constantly telling everyone you’re fine when you’re not. This is about your parents leaving you alone for days when they should be there for you. And it’s about you lying to your therapist. You should tell her at least the truth about being alone. Also you don’t have to be so cranky, you know exactly I won’t let you talk to me like that. I’m trying to help you, okay?

(10:51am) Sometimes I really hate you

(10:51am) But you know I’m right.

(10:52am) Ugh.

(10:53am) I just want you to get better. After what happened those last few months, I’m really worried about you.

(10:53am) But I’m already doing a lot better

(10:54am) I’m clean again and today I got to pick up medication to help with my anxiety and with my insomnia

(10:54am) I’m fine

(10:55am) I know, okay? I know you’re doing a lot better and you really worked hard on it and I’m not at all trying to diminish your successes, because I’m really proud of you, believe me! I just want you to be safe. You said yourself that you’re scared of being alone for five days and that’s completely okay. You need to set limits. If you say you don’t need the clinic okay, but if you say you’re scared to be alone for five days then you need to do something against it. Tell your parents, tell your therapist, tell someone who can help you with it. You know I’m there for you as good as I can, but I can’t give you the support you need. I have no idea what’s happening over there. I only know what you decide to share and I know that there are lots of things you leave out. So just please get the help you need. You know it’s nothing shameful to ask for help and accept it.

(10:56am) …

(10:56am) I know it’s not shameful to ask for help but… like what do you want me to do? I’m 18. Do you really think anyone’s gonna take me seriously if I tell them I can’t even be on my own for five days

(10:57am) Remus, please. If your therapist really does not take your fears and worries seriously, then you need to get a new one okay? I know a lot of people who are older than you and can’t be on their own as well. Also this is not just about being alone, this is about your parents ignoring you when you ask for help and abandoning you.

(10:58am) For the last time, they’re not abandoning me.

(10:59am) Whatever. It’s still not okay to do that. They’re your parents. They know what you’ve gone through. They should be there for you and not leave you alone like that.

(10:59am) You make them sound like they’re neglecting me. You just say that because you don’t like them

(11:00am) That’s not true and you know that. I’m saying those things because that’s how I see your parents. I know you love them, okay? I really do. But you can’t ignore the mistakes they make just because they’re your parents.

(11:01am) I’m just really scared something’s gonna happen to you. You’re my best friend and I love you so much and I want you to be safe.

(11:02am) I know. I love you too.

(11:03am) Just please promise me to message me anytime, okay? No matter what, if there is anything you want to talk about, I’m here for you, okay? – And I’m sure Sirius is too.

(11:04am) Thank you, Lily. And I promise I will.

(11:05am) Also please do me a favor and talk to your parents about this, okay? Just tell them that they need to take you seriously when you say them that they should not leave you alone.

(11:05am) Okay.

(11:06am) Good

(11:06am) And you know I didn’t want to start a fight or anything, right? I just want to make sure nothing happens to you

(11:07am) I know, Lily. It’s okay. You know I appreciate it

(11:08am) Good.

(11:08am) So anyway, how’s school going?

(11:09am) It’s alright. Lots of homework at the moment, but I’m coping

(11:09am) Anyway much more important, how’s your boyfriend?

(11:09am) For the last time, he’s not my boyfriend.

(11:09am) Suuuuuuure

(11:09am) I hate you

(11:10am) Awh is little Remus gonna run to his boyfriend now and tell him how mean I am :(

(11:11am) You’re the worst

(11:11am) I know

May 7^th

(10:23am) Oh my god

(10:23am) What?

(10:24am) I told you I got medication yesterday, right?

(10:24pm) Those sleeping pills completely knocked me out for a solid twelve hours

(10:25am) I feel like I’ve been run over by a bulldozer to be honest

(10:25am) My therapist warned me about this though, it will be better in a few days

(10:26am) I’m sorry to hear that. Just take it easy today, yeah?

(10:27am) I will, thank you

(10:27am) How was school?

(10:28am) We had a pop quiz in math and I totally aced it

(10:29am) Of course you did

(10:29am) You’re a genius

(10:30am) I’m not

(10:30am) Math is just my strong subject

(10:31am) As is English AND geography AND history AND physics AND Spanish AND chemistry

(10:31am) That’s not true I’m not that good in chemistry

(10:31am) Still better than me

(10:32am) Yeah, well, but that’s not that hard

(10:32am) Ouch

(10:32am) Rude

(10:33am) I swear to god one day I will kick Sirius’ butt. This whole ‘rude’ thing is so annoying

(10:33am) Rude

(10:34am) Oh my god

(10:34am) I’m done talking to you

(10:34am) Rude

(10:35am) BYE

~

(3:07pm) Don’t take this personal okay but BOYS ARE ASSHOLES

(3:08pm) What happened?

(3:09pm) You remember that guy I told you about from my biology class?

(3:10pm) The one with the weird name?

(3:11pm) Your name is Remus and your boyfriend’s name is Sirius you have absolutely no right to judge other people’s names

(3:11pm) But yes, I’m talking about Severus

(3:12pm) For the thousandth time he’s not my boyfriend

(3:12pm) Yeah keep believing that

(3:12pm) Anyway

(3:12pm) So you know I told you Severus likes me right? So we went out a few times and I really thought he was a nice guy. But there is like this group of guys going around and they’re like really terrible people, like they’re extremely racist and anti-Semitic and also super proud of that. And Severus started to hang out with them and I told him I cannot accept this and that he has to make a choice, either them or me. And today he was hanging out with them again and the things they were talking about… They’re not even trying to talk about it in private, it’s like they want everyone to know what kind of sick believes they have.

(3:13pm) Oh wow that sounds horrible

(3:13pm) What an ass!

(3:14pm) I know, right?

(3:14pm) Like, last time I checked it was 2015, what the fuck is wrong with them?

(3:15pm) Come back to America

(3:15pm) Yeah, right, because everyone’s SO NICE over there right

(3:16pm) No, but at least you’ll have me

(3:16pm) You better come here, then you have me AND Sirius

(3:17pm) True

(3:17pm) We’ll just kick out Severus

(3:18pm) Sounds like a plan

(3:18pm) Speaking of plans though

(3:18pm) Do you know if you’re allowed to come over this summer yet? I mean I’m probably gonna come home for a while anyway, but it would still be awesome if you could come. Especially for your little boyfriend

(3:18pm) He’s not my boyfriend

(3:18pm) Also I don’t know yet. If it doesn’t get worse again, chances are good though

(3:19pm) Awesome

(3:19pm) I gotta go now though, I have some more studying to do

(3:19pm) I’ll text you tomorrow again, okay?

(3:20pm) Sure, have a nice evening and a good day at school

(3:21pm) Thank you, enjoy the rest of your day, I love you xx

(3:21pm) Love you too

May 8^th

(11:14am) Is it possible to seriously damage your throat by snorting violently?

(11:16am) What…

(11:16am) How do you even get in a situation where this is a legitimate concern?

(11:18am) Sirius’ jokes…

(11:18am) Ahh

(11:18am) What was it this time?

(11:19am) What’s on the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

(11:19am) A nervous wreck

(11:20am) Oh my god

(11:20am) Where does he get these they’re hilarious

(11:21am) No they’re not, they’re stupid

(11:21am) Shush

(11:22am) No

(11:22am) Tell him I think he’s funny

(11:23am) I definitely will not tell him this

(11:23am) He doesn’t need even more encouragement

(11:24am) Just because you have no sense of humor

(11:24am) I do

(11:24am) I’ve known you for almost three years

(11:25am) And I can tell you, you do not have a sense of humor

(11:25am) Rude

(11:25am) Oh, will you finally shut up with this

(11:25am) …

(11:25am) Now you know how I feel about his jokes

(11:25am) Alright, alright. I got it.

(11:26am) Anyway, stupid stuff aside, how are you?

(11:26am) I’m okay. I mean with the meds I can finally sleep, which really helps a lot. How about you?

(11:26am) Sounds great

(11:26am) I’m alright too. Had a lot of homework today, but I’m done with most of it. Only got an essay left to finish. But I will do that tomorrow or on Sunday because I’m going out with some friends tonight

(11:27am) Nice

(11:28am) Yeah. What are your plans for the rest of the day?

(11:29am) I don’t really have any. Probably watch a movie or read a little.

(11:30am) Don’t you wanna go somewhere? From what you tell me, I feel like you barely leave the house.

(11:31am) Well, where am I supposed to go? You’re gone and all the other people I know are drug addicts or dealers. Or in jail. Can’t really hang out with them.

(11:32am) That’s true.

(11:32am) Boy you have some fucked up friends.

(11:33am) I know, right? I mean you really are crazy.

(11:33am) Oh, yeah sure out of all your friends I’m the fucked up one.

(11:33am) Definitely

(11:34am) Seriously though, you really need some normal friends.

(11:34am) I know. But how am I supposed to meet new people if I literally have no life outside the house except for therapy?

(11:35am) I don’t know

(11:35am) There you go

(11:36am) I’m sure it’ll get better though. Once you go to college or go work somewhere, you will meet new people.

(11:37am) Yeah… IF I will ever be ready for this.

(11:38am) I’m sure you will. You can do this

(11:38am) Ah, yes, of course. Me, aka the guy who once cried because he was overwhelmed with ordering Starbucks, going to college. I don’t see what could go wrong there.

(11:39am) I can’t believe you’re still beating yourself up over this.

(11:40am) It was so pathetic, even for me

(11:41am) Come on, you were going through a very hard time. It’s completely understandable.

(11:42am) It’s not. I still don’t know how you managed not to laugh

(11:42am) Why would I have laughed? Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?

(11:42am) This was like just a few days after you had told me about the drugs and the self-harm and the other things that had happened to you. Believe me, laughing at you for not being able to cope with a situation was the last thing on my mind.

(11:42am) I still think it was pathetic though

(11:43am) Shush

(11:43am) It wasn’t pathetic

(11:44am) Agree to disagree

(11:44am) You’re being too harsh on yourself

(11:44am) I’m not. Now shut up about it.

(11:44am) Fine

(11:44am) I have to go and get ready now anyway.

(11:45am) Alright

(11:45am) I’ll text you later or tomorrow again, okay?

(11:45am) Sure

(11:45am) Take care xxx

(11:45am) You too

Chapter Text

May 29^th

(4:08pm) I would like to inform Mr. Sirius Black that a very excited R. Lupin will be flying to England in the summer of 2015 and will, together with his friend Lily Evans, annoy the shit out of him for a couple of days. Please make sure you are prepared for this event

(4:10pm) HOLY SHIT

(4:10pm) ARE YOU FOR REAL

(4:11pm) YES

(4:11pm) I just had a talk with my therapist and my parents and they said since it’s been going very well lately there is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to come to England this summer – as long as nothing bad happens in the meantime of course

(4:12pm) OH MY GOD

(4:12pm) This is amazing!!!

(4:12pm) I know, right?!?! I can’t wait!!

(4:13pm) Holy shit

(4:13pm) I can’t believe it oh my god

(4:13pm) I’m so excited!

(4:14pm) Me too

(4:15pm) So do you already know when you’re gonna come?

(4:15pm) No, not yet. I will have to talk to Lily and see when she has time. But I’ll tell you as son as possible, alright?

(4:15pm) Yeah, that’s alright

May 30^th

(1:46am) I know it’s early at your place, but are you up yet?

(1:47am) Well, I am now

(1:47am) I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.

(1:47am) It’s okay. I forgot to mute my phone

(1:47am) So what’s up? Why aren’t you sleeping?

(1:48am) I don’t know. I’m not feeling very well

(1:48am) I took my meds and I’m very tired, but I can’t fall asleep

(1:48am) I just feel so terrible about myself

(1:49am) I’m so sorry about that. Can I do anything to help you? Do you want to vent?

(1:50am) I don’t know. I just really hate myself a lot right now

(1:50am) I’m so sorry you feel like that. You’re a great guy and I love you a lot, okay? If I can do anything to help you, please tell me.

(1:51am) Thank you

(1:51am) There’s not anything anyone could do though. I’ll just have to stick through until it passes

(1:52am) Put on a nice movie or something and treat yourself nicely, okay? I love you.

(1:52am) I love you too

(1:54am) If I told you a joke would that cheer you up?

(1:54am) …

(1:54am) That depends very much on the quality of the joke

(1:54am) My jokes are always amazing, so I take that as a yes

(1:55am) A man goes to the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his bum

(1:55am) The doctor described his condition as stable

(1:56am) Oh god

(1:56am) Admit it, you love it

(1:57am) No

(1:57am) I’m gonna go now. You are terrible

(1:57am) Nooooooo

(1:58am) Yes

(1:59am) Fine :( But let me know if you need anything, alright?

(1:59am) Sure

(1:59am) Alright. I hope you can sleep soon

(2:00am) Thanks

~

(12:24pm) When is your summer vacation? And are there any dates that you won’t be around?

(12:25pm) My holidays are from July 11^th to August 31^st

(12:25pm) And no, I’m around all the time

(12:25pm) Great

(12:26pm) Would around end of July / beginning of August be alright for you?

(12:26pm) Yeah, that sounds good

(12:26pm) Awesome. I’ll talk to Lily again and tell you when I know the exact dates

(12:26pm) Cool

~

(1:47pm) I have a question…

(1:48pm) Yeah?

(1:48pm) It’s totally okay if you say no though.

(1:48pm) Just ask

(1:49pm) Well… I was talking to Lily again and she’s planning on taking the same flight back to NY as me, so she can go back home for a while and see her parents again and stuff
And… because me and her are going to spend time together in NY anyway… she asked if maybe instead of staying at her place and come to visit you… I would want to stay at your place and she’d come to visit instead. So you and I could spend more time together. And I just wanted to ask what you think about it. If you don’t want to, that’s okay.

(1:50pm) Are you kidding me?

(1:50pm) Of course!!

(1:50pm) I mean, only if you want to.

(1:51pm) Of course

(1:51pm) Awesome!!!

(1:51pm) You should probably ask your family first though

(1:52pm) Oh

(1:52pm) Hold on.

(1:57pm) Mom says as long as you’re not a 50 y/o pervert it’s okay

(1:58pm) What if I’m an 85 y/o one?

(1:58pm) She didn’t say anything about that, so I guess it’s okay

(1:58pm) Awesome

(1:58pm) So which airport should I fly to?

(1:59pm) Gatwick

(1:59pm) Alright. I’ll look up some flights and let you know when I find good ones to see if those are okay for you, yeah?

(2:00pm) Yeah, that’s okay¨

(2:00pm) So how long are you gonna stay?

(2:01pm) I thought maybe a week? If that’s too long though, or if it gets awkward or something I can still stay with Lily.

(2:01pm) Why would it be awkward?

(2:01pm) I don’t know

(2:01pm) I just thought because it’s the first time we meet and it COULD be awkward or something

(2:02pm) It won’t be

(2:02pm) It’s gonna be awesome

(2:03pm) Hopefully

(2:03pm) Of course it will

(2:03pm) What are you afraid of?

(2:03pm) I promise I’m not a pervert

(2:04pm) It’s not that

(2:04pm) It’s just that the past 18 years of my life proved that people usually don’t like me and get annoyed by me very quickly.

(2:04pm) I like you

(2:04pm) And let’s be real, between the two of us, I’m definitely the annoying one

(2:05pm) …

(2:05pm) Still

(2:06pm) It won’t be awkward. Don’t worry about it, Remus

(2:06pm) I’ll try

(2:07pm) :D

(2:07pm) Don’t

(2:07pm) What did I do?

(2:08pm) I don’t like that emoticon

(2:08pm) Why not? It’s happy

(2:09pm) It looks weird

(2:09pm) D:

(2:09pm) Oh god

(2:09pm) This is even worse

(2:10pm) Rude D:

(2:10pm) I changed my mind I won’t come visit you

(2:11pm) D:

(2:11pm) Bye

(2:11pm) D:

~

(8:48pm) REMUS

(8:48pm) That’s me

(8:49pm) HEY

(8:49pm) Hey

(8:50pm) MOM & DAD ARENT HOME SO ME AND PRONGS R DRINKING

(8:50pm) Uh… congrats?

(8:50pm) THANK U

(8:51pm) Why do you always type in capital letters when you’re drinking

(8:52pm) BECAUSE I’M EXCITED

(8:52pm) Can’t you be excited without shouting at me

(8:53pm) D:

(8:53pm) Ugh not this again

(8:53pm) D:

(8:53pm) Bye

(8:54pm) NO

(8:54pm) ILL STOP

(8:54pm) Will you also turn off caps lock?

(8:54pm) fine

(8:55pm) Thank you

(8:58pm) did u know taht female penguins engage in prostitution?

(8:59pm) …?!

(8:59pm) How much exactly did you drink?

(9:00pm) i’m being serious (hah)

(9:00pm) really tho

(9:00pm) I will need an explanation and a source before I believe this

(9:01pm) female penguins will exchange sexual favours with males that aren’t their mates to get pebbles that they can use to build nests for their babies

(9:01pm) and I don’t remember where I read this but u can google it

(9:02pm) Yeah, no, I don’t think I really want to know where you saw this

(9:03pm) also did u know that male ducks have corkscrew shaped penises

(9:04pm) Oh how did I live my life not knowing this

(9:05pm) also there is a youtube video of a dolphin masturbating with a beheaded fish

(9:05pm) do u want the link

(9:06pm) NO

(9:08pm) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ownANj8dKcQ

(9:08pm) I’m not gonna watch this

(9:09pm) do it

(9:09pm) No

(9:10pm) come on!!!

(9:10pm) Forget it

(9:10pm) we both know u want it

(9:10pm) I don’t know what stuff YOU are into, but I definitely do NOT want to watch a dolphin masturbating

(9:11pm) yes u do

(9:12pm) No

(9:12pm) WATCH IT

(9:12pm) Why would I watch something like that?

(9:13pm) it’s funny

(9:14pm) It’s disturbing

(9:15pm) watch it

(9:15pm) do it for me

(9:1(5pm) pls

(9:16pm) No way

(9:17pm) :(

(9:17pm) if u would rlly love me u would watch it :(

(9:18pm) No

(9:18pm) why dont u love me remus

(9:18pm) Shut up

(9:19pm) ure so cruel remus :( u break my heart

(9:20pm) You are such a drama queen

(9:21pm) :(

(9:21pm) my heart is broken

(9:23pm) so broken

(9:23pm) Oh my god

(9:23pm) If I watch the stupid video will you stop being so dramatic

(9:23pm) yes

(9:24pm) Fine

(9:24pm) :D

(9:26pm) I am so disturbed right now

(9:26pm) I can’t believe you made me watch this

(9:26pm) Also what did I say about that emoticon

(9:27pm) its funny admit it

(9:27pm) It’s disturbing

(9:27pm) I will never be able to look at dolphins the same again

(9:28pm) come on

(9:28pm) it’s not that bad

(9:28pm) everybody masturbates

(9:29pm) No

(9:29pm) yes

(9:29pm) i don’t know anyone who doesn’t

(9:29pm) Me, for once

(9:30pm) liar

(9:30pm) Why would I lie about that

(9:31pm) i dont know

(9:31pm) why do u

(9:32pm) I don’t. It makes me feel dysphoric

(9:33pm) oh

(9:33pm) i’m sorry about that

(9:33pm) You don’t have to be.

(9:33pm) but ure missing out so much

(9:33pm) Okaaaay and that’s where we change the subject

(9:33pm) why

(9:34pm) Because I don’t know why we’re talking about this in the first place

(9:34pm) fine

(9:24pm) do u wanna hear more animal facts

(9:25pm) Definitely not

(9:25pm) awh

(9:25pm) do u wanna hear a joke instead

(9:26pm) … fine

(9:26pm) what does miley cyrus eat on thanksgiving

(9:26pm) twerkey!

(9:27pm) Oh god

(9:27pm) This is horrible

(9:27pm) no its not

(9:27pm) im still laughing

(9:28pm) Well yeah, but you’re drunk and have no sense of humor

(9:29pm) rude

(9:29pm) i have a great sense of humour

(9:30pm) No, you don’t

(9:31pm) ure so cruel

(9:32pm) Not this again

(9:32pm) u break my heart remus

(9:33pm) You are so terrible I swear to god

(9:33pm) don’t break my heart

(9:33pm) my achy breaky heart

(9:34pm) NO

(9:34pm) LEAVE

(9:35pm) those werent even the correct lyrics

(9:35pm) I DON’T CARE YOU ARE THE WORST

(9:35pm) why u gotta be so rude

(9:36pm) THIS FRIENDSHIP IS OVER

(9:36pm) GOODNYE

(9:36pm) DID U SAY NYE

(9:36pm) NONONONO THAT WAS A TYPO

(9:37pm) BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY

(9:38pm) STOP

(9:38pm) BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

(9:38pm) I’m sobbing oh my god I hate you

(9:38pm) BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

(9:39pm) I’m begging you to stop

(9:39pm) but bill

(9:39pm) No

(9:34pm) but

(9:34pm) Just go to sleep

(9:34pm) its still early tho

(9:35pm) It’s definitely past your bedtime

(9:35pm) no

(9:35pm) Go to sleep

(9:36pm) NEVER

(9:36pm) Fine.

(9:36pm) Then I will leave

(9:36pm) NOOOOOOOO

(9:37pm) u can’t leave me

(9:37pm) You have Prongs

(9:37pm) :(

(9:37pm) ure not allowed to leave me tho

(9:38pm) No?

(9:38pm) never

(9:39pm) I have to go take a shower though

(9:39pm) u can do that tomorrow

(9:39pm) But I want to do it now

(9:40pm) r u gonna come back afterwards

(9:41pm) Probably

(9:41pm) ok

(9:49pm) prongs is having a phone call with someone so i’m gonna tell u some jokes

(9:49pm) what did the perverted frog say?

(9:49pm) rubbit!

(9:50pm) what did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

(9:50pm) dam!

(9:51pm) who’s bigger, mr. bigger or mr. biggers baby?

(9:51pm) the baby bc shes a little bigger!!!

(9:53pm) S t o p

(9:54pm) ure back!!

(9:54pm) Yes, but I already regret it

(9:55pm) whats brown and rhymes with snoop

(9:55pm) dr dre

(9:56pm) Christ

(9:56pm) What do I have to do to make you shut up?

(9:57pm) oh i would know a few things there

(9:57pm) if u know what i mean

(9:57pm) Oh

(9:58pm) Oh god

(9:58pm) You need to stop drinking

(9:59pm) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(10:00pm) Not this again

(10:00pm) yes

(10:00pm) You need to be stopped

(10:01pm) no i dont

(10:01pm) im an enrichment to everyones life

(10:02pm) Not when you’re drunk

(10:02pm) ESPECIALLY when i’m drunk

(10:02pm) On behalf of everyone: NO

(10:02pm) rude :(

(10:03pm) Shut up

(10:03pm) well u know what u have to do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(10:03pm) No

(10:03pm) :(

(10:04pm) Go to sleep

(10:05pm) are u gonna give me a goodnight kiss

(10:05pm) S t o p

(10:05pm) but i want one

(10:06pm) No

(10:06pm) please

(10:06pm) Stop

(10:06pm) Honestly

(10:06pm) i’m sorry

(10:07pm) It’s okay

(10:07pm) are u mad at me now

(10:07pm) No

(10:08pm) i didn’t want to make u uncomfortable

(10:08pm) It’s okay, Sirius

(10:08pm) really

(10:09pm) i don’t want u to hate me

(10:09pm) As if I could ever hate you

Chapter Text

May 31^st

(5:54am) I’m really sorry about last night, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, okay?

~

(8:46am) I told you, it’s okay

(8:47am) I feel bad though

(8:47am) I’m sorry

(8:47am) You don’t have to be

(8:47am) Are you sure?

(8:48am) Yes, Sirius

(8:48am) Thank you

(8:48am) You don’t have to thank me

(8:48am) Anyway

(8:49am) Would it be okay for you if I came from July 28^th to August 5^th?

(8:50am) It should be alright, but I have to ask Mom

(8:50am) Hold on a moment

(8:50am) Okay

(8:55am) Do you already know what time your flight would arrive?

(8:56am) 2:15pm

(9:00am) Okay, so, there’s a small problem

(9:00am) Mom says we probably won’t be able to pick you up at the airport, because she has an important appointment earlier that day and we wouldn’t make it in time. If you want to, you could take the train from Gatwick to Guildford and we could pick you up there on the way home. Or, you can wait at the airport, but we probably wouldn’t make it there until like a quarter past four

(9:02am) Oh, that’s okay. I can take the train.

(9:02am) You sure?

(9:02am) Yeah.

(9:03am) Awesome

(9:04am) So, like I said, July 28^th at 2:15pm I would arrive at Gatwick airport. And on August 5^th my plane leaves at 7:30pm. Is that okay?

(9:07am) Yeah, that’s fine. Mom says we will definitely drop you off at the airport on the 5^th

(9:08am) That’s really nice

(9:08am) So I guess I’ll go tell my parents so they can book the flights

(9:09am) Oh my god

(9:09am) I can’t believe you’re really gonna come here

(9:09am) Also so soon!!!!!!

(9:09am) 58 days!

(9:10am) Oh my god stop

(9:10am) I’m so excited!

(9:11am) Me too

(9:11am) It’s gonna be so awesome!

(9:11am) Yes!!

~

(9:45am) Flights are booked!

(9:46am) AHHHH

(9:46am) I know, right?!?!?!

(9:46am) Just so you know, I screamed out loud for real and Prongs hit me

(9:46am) Rude

(9:47am) Very

(9:47am) You might not meet him because apart from hitting me he’s also being really annoying and if he continues acting like that I will kill him before you get here

(9:48am) What’s he doing?

(9:49am) He’s making fun of me for being excited about you coming over

(9:49am) Aw, poor you

(9:50am) I know right

(9:50am) He should appreciate me more

(9:50am) I’m the light of his life

(9:51am) I wouldn’t go quite that far

(9:51am) Excuse you

(9:51am) Of course I am

(9:51am) My presence in anyone’s life is a god given gift

(9:52am) I see sobering up hasn’t made you any less dramatic

(9:53am) I’m not being dramatic, I’m being honest

(9:54am) Of course

(9:54am) Are you calling me a liar

(9:54am) I ain’t calling you a truther

(9:55am) YES

(9:55am) YOU SAW THE CHANCE AND YOU TOOK IT

(9:55am) Of course I did

(9:56am) I applaud you

(9:56am) Thank you

(9:56am) I have to go now though. Mom is forcing me to go to the gym with her again

(9:57am) Oh, alright. Have fun

(9:57am) Pretty sure I won’t, but thank you

(9:58am) You’re welcome

~

(11:48am) I’m dead

(11:48am) Again?

(11:49am) Yes.

(11:49am) Oh no

(11:49am) Was it that bad?

(11:50am) Yes

(11:50am) Exercising is the worst

(11:51am) Poor you

(11:52am) But we’re grocery shopping now so I’m trying to get my mom to buy me some chocolate

(11:52am) Good luck with that

(11:52am) Thank you

(11:59am) I only got one chocolate bar :(

(12:00pm) Aww

(12:02pm) I need to stock up my room again

(12:02pm) I’m all out of chocolate

(12:02pm) Send help

(12:03pm) I’m on my way

(12:03pm) With all the chocolate

(12:04pm) Thank you

(12:04pm) You’re my savior

(12:05pm) You’re very welcome

~

(4:37pm) Hey are you there?

(4:40pm) Please text me back as soon as you see this, okay?

(4:45pm) Please

~

(5:56pm) I’m so sorry, I was at the cinema with Prongs

(5:56pm) Are you there? What’s wrong?

~

(6:21pm) I really hope you’re okay! Text me please

~

(6:47pm) Hey

(6:49pm) Remus!

(6:49pm) I’m so sorry I wasn’t there!

(6:50pm) You don’t have to apologize, I can’t expect you to be on your phone 24/7

(6:50pm) What happened?

(6:51pm) It’s alright. I’m sorry I worried you

(6:51pm) Please tell me

(6:52pm) Never mind. It’s not important

(6:52pm) Remus…

(6:53pm) I mean it. Don’t worry

(6:54pm) Whenever you do that – asking for help and then suddenly change your mind – it worries me even more

(6:54pm) Just tell me what happened

(6:54pm) I’m sorry I texted you in the first place, okay

(6:54pm) Just don’t worry

(6:55pm) That’s not that easy

(6:56pm) I’m sorry, okay? Don’t worry. I’m gonna go now

(6:56pm) … fine

(6:56pm) But promise to text me if you change your mind

(6:57pm) Sure

(6:57pm) Take care, yeah?

June 1^st

(1:48am) I hope you’re alright, Remus. I’m here if you need me

~

(11:13am) You there?

(11:16am) Yeah

(11:16am) How are you?

(11:16am) I’m fine

(11:17am) You sure?

(11:17am) Yeah

(11:17am) Okay. I’m here if you need me though, alright?

(11:18am) Thank you

~

(3:46pm) You’ve been awfully quiet today

(3:46pm) Are you sure you’re alright?

(3:47pm) For the last time, Sirius, I am fine.

(3:47pm) How many times do I have to tell you?

(3:48pm) …

(3:48pm) Sorry for being worried?!?!

~

(5:09pm) Are you still mad?

June 2^nd

(2:04am) 56 days!!!

~

(12:48pm) If I tell you a joke is that gonna cheer you up or make things worse?

(12:51pm) …

(12:51pm) You’re worrying me, Remus

~

*unanswered call 1:26pm*

(1:28pm) Please message me, okay? Even if it’s just to tell me that you don’t want to talk. I just need to know you’re there

~

(3:59pm) Message me!!!

~

*unanswered call 4:16pm*

~

*unanswered call 5:25pm*

~

(6:47pm) I love you, okay?

~

(2:25am) I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to worry you

(2:25am) I’ve been busy

(2:26am) Oh my god

(2:26am) Listen, school is starting in a few but as soon as I get back we need to talk!!!

~

(11:12am) Where have you been?!?!

(11:13am) I’m sorry okay I’ve been busy

(11:13am) With what? I’ve been worried!

(11:14am) Stuff

(11:14am) And I told you I’m sorry

(11:15am) Stuff?

(11:15am) Yes

(11:16am) …

(11:16am) Fine, then don’t tell me

(11:16am) Are you alright though?

(11:17am) Yeah, I’m okay

(11:17am) Good.

~

(2:14pm) Why didn’t the melons get married?

(2:15pm) Because they cantaloupe!

(2:18pm) No

(2:18pm) !!!

(2:19pm) What did sushi A say to sushi B?

(2:19pm) Wasa-B!!!

(2:20pm) Stop

(2:21pm) Never

(2:21pm) You’re the worst

(2:22pm) *best

(2:22pm) No

(2:23pm) *yes

(2:23pm) Oh my god

(2:24pm) Did you know that slugs have four noses

(2:25pm) What

(2:26pm) Also did you know that almonds are a member of the peach family?

(2:26pm) Honestly, where do you get all this stuff from?

(2:27pm) It’s called the internet, mate and it’s a wonderful place

(2:28pm) Well, yeah, but don’t you have anything better to do than to look up weird facts and bad jokes?

(2:29pm) … I do watch porn sometimes

(2:29pm) That’s… that’s not what I meant

(2:30pm) Well, in that case no, I don’t

(2:31pm) Why does this even surprise me?

(2:31pm) I don’t know mate, you’ve known me for months now

(2:31pm) Also did you know that pandas cannot tolerate to be without food for more than 5 hours?

(2:32pm) …

(2:32pm) I’m a panda

(2:33pm) Aww

(2:33pm) Also this reminded me that I still have some pizza left from lunch, be right back

(2:34pm) Alright

(2:40pm) Whoever first came up with cheese filled crust is my hero

(2:41pm) I never had pizza with cheese filled crust to be honest

(2:41pm) Oh my god

(2:42pm) You have not lived until you had that

(2:42pm) You need to go out and get some right now

(2:43pm) I just had dinner like an hour ago

(2:43pm) Did I fucking stutter

(2:44pm) How about we get some together when you’re here?

(2:44pm) You’re missing out so much though

(2:45pm) I think I will be able to survive a few more weeks without it

(2:46pm) Well, if you really think so

(2:46pm) I’m fairly sure

~

June 3^rd

(1:48am) 55 days!

(1:49am) Yes!

(1:49am) Why aren’t you asleep?!

(1:50am) I was busy¨

(1:50am) With?

(1:51am) Binge watching Friends…

(1:52am) Oh my god

(1:52am) I’m so disappointed you didn’t invite me

(1:53am) I’m sorry

(1:53am) I’m only on season 5 though so you can join me when I continue tomorrow

(1:53am) Or today, actually

(1:54am) Nice

(1:54am) I’ll just swim over after school

(1:55am) Perfect

(1:57am) For real though, I have to go get ready for school now, and you need to go to sleep

(1:57am) Talk to you later

(1:58am) Alright, have a nice day

(1:58am) Thank you. Sleep well

(1:59am) Thanks

~

(9:06am) My mom woke me up at like 7am and I just finished doing like a million chores I’m so tired oh my god

(9:06am) She just left to go to the gym though (luckily she’s not forcing me to go with her again) so I’m gonna go take a nap

~

(11:34am) Oh poor little Remus

(11:34am) I’ll come pick you up so your mom can’t force you to do chores anymore

(11:35am) Awesome

(11:35am) You’re awake! How was your nap?

(11:35am) Amazing

(11:35am) That’s good to hear

(11:35am) On another note though we just got the dates for our exams today and it’s going to be so stressful I think I might die

(11:36am) Noooo

(11:36am) Mate you died like three times since we know us I think I’m allowed to do it at least once

(11:36am) Okay .-.

(11:36am) But you have to resurrect again before I fly over

(11:37am) Sure

(11:37am) Good.

~

(2:58pm) Hey

(2:58pm) Remus

(2:58pm) Hey hey hey

(2:58pm) It’s important

(2:58pm) Look at your phone!!!

(2:58pm) Now!!!

(2:59pm) I’m not gonna stop spamming until you answer me

(2:59pm) I mean it

(2:59pm) I once sent Prongs 347 messages because he ignored me

(2:59pm) I will blow up your phone

(3:00pm) Come on Remus

(3:00pm) Don’t ignore me, my love

(3:00pm) Don’t be cruel

(3:05pm) Oh my god, Sirius

(3:05pm) I was in therapy

(3:05pm) This better be important

(3:05pm) It is

(3:05pm) What is it?

(3:06pm) What do you call a cow with no legs?

(3:07pm) No

(3:07pm) If you answer this question I swear to god I will end you

(3:08pm) … are we a little grumpy today?

(3:08pm) Shut up

(3:09pm) I’m guessing that means yes

~

(5:10pm) The answer is ground beef, by the way

(5:11pm) I hate you so much

June 4th

(1:58am) Good morning my precious Remus, it is a new day, the sun is shining and the birds are singing

(1:58am) It’s 2am so shut the hell up and go to school

(1:58am) So grumpy

~

(11:54am) Are you still in a bad mood?

(11:54am) Yes

(11:54am) Anything I can do to help?

(11:54am) If you wanna come over and rip out my uterus that would be very helpful

(11:55am) Oh

(11:55am) I’m sorry :(

(11:55am) It’s okay. I’m just gonna go and watch a movie or something, alright? Talk to you later.

(11:55am) Okay. I hope you feel better soon. Text me if I can help, alright?

(11:55am) Thank you xxx

~

(1:48pm)Remus!!!

(1:48pm) I just realized something

(1:48pm) You need to read my messages it’s important I swear

(1:48pm) I swear it’s not a joke, it’s important!!

(1:48pm) Oh my god!!!!!

(1:52pm) Will you finally pick up your phone!!!

(1:55pm) What’s going on?

(1:55pm) I just realized something

(1:56 pm) What?

(1:56pm) You’re a werewolf!

(1:56pm) What

(1:56pm) Yes!

(1:56pm) … I need an explanation

(1:57pm) Look

(1:57pm) Once a month you get really cranky and angry and it gets all bloody for a few days but then it’s all over and you turn back to normal

(1:58pm) Oh my god

(1:58pm) How do you even think of things like that?

(1:58pm) I don’t know, I guess I’m just a genius

(1:59pm) You are so weird

(1:59pm) It’s a great idea, just admit it

(1:59pm) …

(1:59pm) Fine

(1:59 pm) Yay

(1:59pm) Do you feel better, by the way?

(2:00pm) Ehh

(2:00pm) I started getting cramps today so not really

(2:01pm) Are cramps really that bad?

(2:01pm) When I first started to get my period I regularly had to miss school because I was in so much pain I was barely able to move. So yes, they are.

(2:02pm) Oh god

(2:02pm) Forever grateful I don’t have to go through this

(2:02pm) Ugh

(2:02pm) I can’t wait to start HRT

(2:03pm) That’s when you start getting testosterone, right?

(2:03pm) Yes. It stands for hormone replacement therapy

(2:04pm) Oh, okay. Do you already know when you’ll be able to?

(2:05pm) Not yet. But because of my recent relapses with the drugs, my therapist thinks it’s better if I wait a little longer. She says I will probably be able to start before the end of this year though

(2:05pm) That’s not that much longer though! Are you excited?

(2:05pm) Very!!!

(2:06pm) Can I ask you something?

(2:06pm) I don’t know if it’s inappropriate though, so you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to

(2:06pm) Shoot

(2:07pm) When did you realize you were trans? I mean… did you like always know it, or…?

(2:08pm) I didn’t know that I was trans until I was 16. I’ve always had a lot of issues with myself but I never realized that dysphoria was one of them. I just always hated myself and felt uncomfortable being me. But when I started going to therapy and to talk about my issues and to think about them, I realized that I didn’t feel comfortable being a girl. For a while I was questioning if I was maybe a nonbinary gender (I don’t know if you’ve heard about this, if not, just tell me and I can explain) and I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to transition – mainly because I’m really scared of big decisions though. But now I’m sure about my gender and that I want to start HRT as soon as possible

(2:09pm) Oh okay

(2:09pm) And no, I haven’t heard of nonbinary genders, what’s that?

(2:10pm) Well, some people don’t feel strictly male or female. So there are genders outside the binary. There are a lot of them, but some examples are genderfluid – that’s when your gender changes between two or more genders, not necessarily male or female though –, bigender – that’s when you have two genders, either both at the same time, or changing –, trigender – the same as bigender, but with three instead of two genders –, agender – when you don’t have a gender at all – and there’s demigender (demiboy or demigirl for example) when you partly feel as a certain gender and partly as something else – that ‘something else’ might not be specific

(2:10pm) There are a lot more, but these are the ones I know best

(2:11pm) Wow

(2:11pm) Do you know any nonbinary people?

(2:11pm) Sorry if that’s an inappropriate question

(2:12pm) Uh, no, I don’t. Lily was questioning for a while after she found out about all this stuff, but she still identifies as a girl

(2:12pm) Okay

(2:12pm) It really is interesting though. I think I’m gonna do some more research on that stuff

(2:12pm) Yeah, it’s amazing. I spent so much time reading about all of this.

(2:13pm) How did your parents react when you came out to them?

(2:13pm) Well, at first they weren’t sure about it, because of some other stuff that had happened around that time, but we just sat together and I explained it to them and they also talked to my therapist about it and once they realized that I was serious about this, they took it pretty well. It took them pretty long until they got used to my new name and pronouns – and they still mess up sometimes – but I know they give their best and it really means a lot to me

(2:13pm) But your grandmother doesn’t accept it? I mean because you told me that she still uses your birthname when she was over on your birthday

(2:14pm) Well, it’s not even that she has anything against it per se, she just pretty much ignores it. I hope that once I start HRT though and start to actually look like a guy, it will get better

(2:15pm) Haven’t you tried just like reminding her about it every time she gets it wrong?

(2:15pm) I did that for a while, but my parents got mad at me because it’s ‘rude’. Also I don’t see my grandmother that often, so it’s really not that bad.

(2:15pm) Oh okay

(2:15pm) Thank you for answering my questions by the way. And sorry if some of them were inappropriate, I really didn’t mean to invade your privacy or anything

(2:16pm) It’s okay, really. You can ask whenever you have questions. I will tell you if I don’t want to answer something

(2:17pm) You really don’t mind?

(2:17pm) Not at all

(2:18pm) … because I do have some more questions

(2:18pm) Go ahead

(2:19pm) Thank you!!!

(2:20pm) So like… when you start HRT, what will it do exactly?

(2:21pm) Basically I will go through a second puberty – just this time the male version of it. My voice will get deeper, my facial structure will change slightly, I will grow facial hair and more body hair, my period will stop, my proportions will change and stuff like that

(2:22pm) That’s amazing. And… your chest? I mean… are your breasts like gonna get smaller or something?

(2:22pm) No. But there’s surgery, which I’m probably gonna get next year.

(2:23pm) Oh, okay. And like… you know, your genitalia?

(2:23pm) I’d rather not talk about that

(2:24pm) Of course. I’m sorry

(2:24pm) It’s alright

(2:25pm) Can I ask something else though?

(2:25pm) Sure

(2:25pm) Are you attracted to guys or to girls? And like… did that change when you realized you were trans?

(2:26pm) I’m bisexual and no, it didn’t change

(2:26pm) Oh alright

(2:26pm) Thank you so much for answering my questions!!

(2:26pm) No problem, really

(2:27pm) I have to go now though, I’ve got some chores to do

(2:27pm) Okay, talk to you later!

(2:27pm) Bye

Chapter Text

June 28^th  

(4:48am) Only one more month, Remus!!

(4:48am) Also sorry I’ve been quiet lately, exams are very stressful and I’ve been busy with studying. They’ll be over soon though, alright?

(4:48am) I hope you’ll have a nice day!

~

(11:25am) I just spent like three hours studying maths and I still don’t get anything, I’m gonna be so fucked tomorrow

~

(1:31pm) You’re awfully quiet today.

(1:31pm) Are you alright?

~

(2:03pm) I’m alright, sorry I didn’t message you. I had a fight with my parents this morning, because they’re going to Wisconsin for a week and I turned my phone off afterwards because I didn’t want to talk to anyone for a while

(2:03pm) Oh, okay. I’m here for you if you want to talk about it though.

(2:03pm) Thank you.

(2:03pm) Anytime

(2:04pm) Apart from the fight with your parents, how are you doing?

(2:04pm) Oh, I’m fine, just pretty tired. Therapy has been exhausting lately and I picked up career counseling again. They want me to try and find a part time job or something like that after summer, so I can work somewhere for two or three days a week. You know, to slowly start getting back to something.

(2:05pm) And how do you feel about that?

(2:06pm) I don’t know… I mean, I really do want to start doing something again, but I’m also scared I won’t be able to cope with it.

(2:06pm) I’m sure you can do it! If you find something that you will like to do, it’s gonna be fine.

(2:06pm) Thank you

(2:07pm) No problem

(2:07pm) I have to go now though, Wormtail is helping me with history. I’ll text you again tomorrow, okay?

(2:07pm) Sure. Good luck with studying and have a nice rest of the day!

(2:08pm) Thanks!

June 29^th

(12:09pm) Good luck for your exams!!!

~

(1:47am) Thank you! I really need it.

~

(3:18pm) Reason number 34874 why you shouldn’t let me leave the house on my own: I planned on getting a coffee and ended up buying four new books and a blanket

(3:18pm) Totally worth it though, this is the softest blanket existing

June 30^th

(2:11am) I’m so sorry I didn’t message you back yesterday! I had a really stressful day at school and a lot more studying to do when I got home. Enjoy your books and blanket and have a nice day, alright? I promise I’ll message you when I get back from school.

~

(8:47am) Don’t worry about it, I totally get that. Exams are more important right now, take your time and don’t stress yourself about messaging me. I’ll still be here when your exams are over. Good luck, yeah? Xxx

~

(8:47pm) Thank you for understanding!

(8:48pm) Isn’t it like almost 2am at your place? Shouldn’t you be sleeping?

(8:48pm) I just finished studying. I’m on my way to go to sleep now though

(8:48pm) Alright, sleep well and have a good day tomorrow!

((8:49pm) Thanks. You too!

July 2^nd

(2:01am) I miss talking to you so much, I can’t wait until exams are over!

~

(7:45am) I miss you too! Hope your exams are going well though.

~

(10:36am) I know you’re still in school, but I just finished therapy and it was really crappy and I feel really exhausted right now and I miss you a lot. I love you, okay?

~

(11:41am) I hope you’re feeling better! I love you too and I promise I’ll text you later, okay? I don’t have that much studying to do today.

~

(3:56pm) Hey! Are you there?

(3:58pm) I’m here

(3:58pm) Yes!

(3:58pm) So how are you doing?

(3:59pm) I’m alright. What about you? How are exams going?

(3:59pm) It’s okay. The worst ones are over. Also only 8 more days until summer holidays and 26 more days until you’ll be here!!!

(4:00pm) Yes! It’s so close now!

(4:00pm) God, I’m so excited

(4:00pm) Me too

(4:01pm) I have a joke to tell you

(4:01pm) Okay

(4:01pm) No protest?

(4:02pm) It’s been a while since my last dose of bad jokes, so no, no protest

(4:02pm) Who are you and what did you do with Remus?

(4:02pm) Just tell the stupid joke

(4:02pm) It’s not stupid

(4:03pm) A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and…………… Coke, thank you.”
“Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”

(4:04pm) Oh my god

(4:04pm) Jesus Christ

(4:04pm) That was terrible

(4:04pm) And by terrible you mean amazing

(4:05pm) No

(4:05pm) Definitely not

(4:06pm) Fine

(4:06pm) I have another one

(4:07pm) Of course you do

(4:07pm) I went to the zoo the other day and there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.

(4:08pm) I don’t know if I should laugh or cry

(4:08pm) Laugh

(4:10pm) Okay but all jokes aside, I was talking to Lily earlier and she asked if it was okay if she came on Friday – that’s the 1^st – and then we could go to London together.

(4:10pm) Sure, that’s fine. Do you want to go alone with her?

(4:11pm) No, you can come too.

(4:11pm) Also James, if he wants to

(4:12pm) Really? It’s okay if you want to spend time with her alone

(4:12pm) Dude no

(4:12pm) I can spend enough time with her alone when she comes to New York

(4:13pm) Don’t ‘dude’ me, mate

(4:13pm) Don’t ‘mate’ me, pal

(4:14pm) Oh, I will mate you alright ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(4:15pm) Oh my god

(4:15pm) How did I not see that coming

(4:15pm) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(4:16pm) Honestly though, why did you bring the Lenny face back?

(4:16pm) Because how else to I express that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(4:16pm) Just don’t

(4:17pm) But

(4:17pm) No

(4:18pm) But

(4:18pm) No

(4:19pm) Butt

(4:19pm) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(4:20pm) Oh my god

(4:20pm) Isn’t it time for you to go to sleep yet?

(4:20pm) Mate it’s 9:20pm

(4:20pm) How old do you think I am?

(4:21pm) Well, judging by your humor, five?

(4:21pm) … rude

(4:21pm) You’re just jealous because my jokes are so amazing

(4:22pm) You’re right that’s it.

(4:22pm) You found out about my deepest secret

(4:22pm) I am so incredibly jealous of your jokes, I cry myself to sleep every night

(4:22pm) I aspire to one day be as funny as you are

(4:23pm) Wow

(4:23pm) How does so much sarcasm fit into one person?

(4:24pm) Oh, that was nothing, believe me

(4:25pm) I should introduce you to Wormtail; that would be fun. He doesn’t understand sarcasm

(4:25pm) Oh my god no

(4:25pm) There was this girl in my physics class in junior year who didn’t understand sarcasm

(4:25pm) She hated me with a burning passion

(4:26pm) I can imagine

(4:26pm) I’m still surprised that you don’t hate me yet

(4:26pm) Why would I?

(4:26pm) Because sarcasm in text messages just seems rude most of the time

(4:27pm) Well

(4:27pm) At first I just thought you might be sarcastic (or actually hoped you are), but now I know it, so it’s okay

(4:28pm) You know I don’t mean it viciously though, right?

(4:29pm) Yeah, it’s okay. Don’t worry

(4:29pm) Good

(4:30pm) Prongs finally gave the bathroom free, so I’m gonna take a shower now. I’ll text you later again, okay?

(4:30pm) Sure

(4:30pm) Have fun

(4:31pm) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(4:31pm) … okay that one was my own fault

~

(5:24pm) Hey, I know I told you we would talk some more, but I’m really tired and I have to get up early tomorrow to read through my stuff again before school, so I’m gonna head to bed, alright?

(5:25pm) Of course! Sleep well, and good luck for your exam tomorrow!

(5:25pm) Thank you! Talk to you tomorrow

(5:25pm) Bye xxx

July 3^rd

(10:43am) Only one more exam left next week and also we could leave earlier today!!!

(10:44am) Awesome!

(10:45am) Yes!

(10:45am) How are you doing?

(10:45am) I’m alright, I guess. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’ve been up since 4:30, so I’m really tired, but apart from that I’m fine. How about you?

(10:46am) I’m sorry about that. Also I’m fine, but I’m really tired too.

(10:46am) We’re gonna go over to Peter’s tonight though because his parents aren’t home

(10:47am) Does that mean I have to expect drunk texts?

(10:47am) Yup

(10:48am) Great

(10:48am) You better not be sarcastic, young man!

(10:48am) I wasn’t. Your drunk texts are still better than your jokes.

(10:49am) Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

(10:49am) Because then it would be a foot!

(10:49am) Have you heard about the invention of the shovel?

(10:50am) It was ground breaking!

(10:51am) Really?

(10:51am) My friend’s butler is missing his left arm.

(10:52am) Serves him right.

(10:53am) Oh my god

(10:53am) Nooooo

(10:53am) This is my favorite so far

(10:53am) HA!

(10:54am) You have favourites!!

(10:55am) Of course

(10:55am) They’re all bad, but some are slightly less terrible than others

(10:55am) Shush!!

(10:55am) They’re not bad

(10:56am) Yes, they are.

(10:56am) No

(10:56am) Yes

(10:56am) I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger…

(10:56am) Then it hit me

(10:57am) Okay. No. That’s enough for one day, you need to stop now.

(10:57am)What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

(10:57am) Nobody knows!