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☀️🧡
The concept of love has always attracted Shoyo’s attention.
He knows that what he feels for his mother is love whenever he comes home and is greeted by a tight hug and caresses on his hair. He knows he loves his sister whenever he watches her playing volleyball and feels his chest filling with pride, admiring how the little girl jumps happily after scoring a point. Shoyo also knows he loves all the friends he's made over his 18 years of life, seeing how they remain by his side pushing him to follow his dreams. Shoyo really loves them all, with different ways of expressing it, but the feeling is there. It's real.
Just as real as the one he feels for his best friend and rival, Kageyama Tobio.
When Hinata realizes that he wholeheartedly loves him, that he adores Tobio as a whole, as the honest, deep person he is, Shoyo doesn't express it in words. Perhaps out of shyness, he only plans to declare himself in a more subtle way. And what is subtlety in Hinata Shoyo’s dictionary? Not even he knows. But after watching some classmates ask for the second button of someone else’s uniform, Shoyo sees in this tradition an opportunity to express how much Tobio is loved by him. And how much he wants to be loved back.
This Japanese tradition usually takes place after the high school graduation ceremony, and the second golden button on their school uniforms is a symbol of affection for someone special. That's why Shoyo intends to ask for this small souvenir from Tobio, wanting to keep a memory of him even after they follow different paths. This way, Shoyo will always have a piece of Tobio near him, reminiscing the good old days they spent together as unconditional partners.
“Hey, Sleepy-Yama,” Shoyo calls from the door of Tobio’s classroom, grinning at the sight of him drooling over his notebooks. As always, he's come to his friend’s class so they can have lunch together. The only thing different in their routine is that Shoyo will begin his not-so-subtle plan of conquering Tobio’s heart. “Hurry up or I won't share the buns I baked!”
Tobio peeks under his arms, yawning exaggeratedly. He takes his lunch box and follows Shoyo down the hallway, without saying a word. Since he is anxious about what's going to happen, Shoyo chatters all the way to the place where they have lunch together, on a bench under a cherry tree behind the volleyball gym.
“Hey, Kageyama,” Shoyo starts, his mouth full of rice and cucumbers. “I wanna ask you something.”
“Hmm,” Tobio hums between spoonfuls of curry, eyes still half-closed. Shoyo can't stop smiling at how cute his drowsy face is.
“We're already at the end of our third year and will soon graduate. Since we're going to be spending a lot of time away from each other, in different countries, I thought I'd ask for something from you to have, you know…” Shoyo blushes as he tries to gather his thoughts, “Something to have as a memory of you.”
Tobio freezes, his chopsticks stopping halfway to his mouth. He blinks twice before speaking, “Ah. What is the thing you want?”
There's a wobbly smile covering Shoyo’s face now. He is pretty aware of it. He is also aware of the devastating surprise that hits him as soon as he glances at Tobio’s uniform and notices that a golden button is missing. The second one. In place of the gold there is only the dark of his blazer’s fabric, as empty as what arises in Shoyo’s heart when reality falls on his shoulders.
“Hinata?” Kageyama tries to get his attention, but his voice sounds far away. “Dumbass, tell me what you want.”
“I...” The words seem to weigh heavily on Shoyo’s tongue and he suddenly doesn't know what to do. “Haven't decided yet.”
“You haven't?”
“Yeah.”
They remain in silence for several minutes, the only audible sound being a pleasant breeze flowing by and carrying some pink flowers across the clouds.
Shoyo is with his head down, focused on finishing his lunch. He can feel Tobio’s gaze on him most of the time, but he chooses not to say anything. What can he say anyway? That he wanted a simple gold button from his friend’s clothes? That he wanted to declare himself today but that he can't do it anymore because someone supposedly did it before? Or worse, Tobio may have taken the initiative and gifted the button to someone else. To someone special to him.
Shoyo isn't sure of the facts, but just the idea of Tobio not thinking of him as the recipient of his love is a very strong pain to deal with. So he hides his sadness for now, fearing that he might hurt Tobio if he confesses what he feels.
Even if his feelings may not be reciprocated, Shoyo chooses silence to ensure the well-being of the boy he loves.
⛰️💙
The concept of love never attracted Tobio’s attention.
Not that he is not curious about what love is, but he's not paid much attention to the concept. Tobio cares about the feeling itself, regardless of the description.
Thanks to his grandfather, Tobio now knows that what he feels for him is love. Even if Kazuyo-san is not in this world anymore, Tobio will keep loving him endlessly. He also knows he loves his sister and their cat, Luna. He loves being able to come home and be greeted with her adorable meows, Miwa looking at them in awe from the kitchen as she prepares dinner.
So yeah, Tobio knows what love is, he knows what it feels like, even if he can't describe it in words. And if what he learned from his grandpa is accurate, Tobio is sure that what he feels for Hinata Shoyo is a deep kind of love, too.
What he feels for his best friend is an old but new feeling. It's as if they've known each other since childhood, so the feeling seems to have existed forever. It's also new because the love he feels for Shoyo is unique, intense, and real, something he's never felt for anyone else. Therefore, Tobio is not sure how to act up. He isn't good with words after all, so he waits for an opportunity in which his feelings for Shoyo can be accepted.
Tobio imagined that the perfect moment to declare himself had arrived when Shoyo asked for something of his to have as a souvenir. He was hopeful seeing his smiling, blushing face, honey eyes almost hidden by his long curls. He was really hopeful that Shoyo was about to confess his feelings there, the words flowing through his pink lips as a sweet promise.
Instead, Shoyo changed the subject out of nowhere, until his enthusiastic grin disappeared. Tobio could even feel his energy decreasing until he was completely silent, but he didn't pressure him to keep talking.
On the way back home, Shoyo kept his eyes glued to the road. He didn't chatter the way he always does, he didn't annoy Tobio as he always does and he didn't even call him Silly-Yama or Stupid-Yama. It was then that Tobio realized that Shoyo was still bothered by something, so he decided to talk to him the next day.
Tobio would do anything to bring back that beautiful, stupid smile of his.
When tomorrow comes, Tobio is relieved to arrive at school and find Shoyo near the stairs heading to the club room. He is practicing alone, throwing the volleyball against the wall multiple times and digging it smoothly every single time.
“Hinata!” Tobio says, his voice loud enough to scare the other boy. Shoyo shudders and turns around with eyebrows furrowed, the volleyball now clutched to his chest as if it were a shield.
“You scared me, you idiot,” Shoyo grumbles, his lower lip turning into a pout. The bright morning sun is hitting his countenance directly, making his copper hair shine and his skin glow. Tobio swallows and pouts too, irritated that just looking at that dumbass causes the air to be taken from his lungs.
“I wanna talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Why are you different?” Tobio asks in one shot.
This seems to catch Shoyo by surprise as his eyes widen, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “What? I'm not—”
“Yes, you are, dumbass,” Tobio cuts him off. “You haven't been the same noisy brat who chatters in my ears all the time since yesterday!”
Shoyo blinks and his expression softens. “Oh,” the corner of his mouth curls up and Tobio can swear his cheeks turn a new shade of pink. “You miss the super cool, handsome guy, Hinata Shoyo, annoying you?”
It's Tobio's turn to blush vividly, “Shut up.”
Shoyo bursts into laughter. The sight of him genuinely smiling, gold, pink and orange standing out on his body, leaves Tobio mesmerized. His eyes follow every detail of Shoyo as the boy spins the ball on his finger and approaches him. He's so attractive even without making any effort. Stupid Hinata and his stupid cute face and stupid bright hair.
“I'm sorry for making you worry,” Shoyo says gently, his voice as beautiful as he himself is.
“It's fine,” Tobio grumbles, even though his belly full of butterflies isn't fine at all. “Just tell me what's going on.”
“It's kinda stupid,” He brings his free hand up, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I'm used to stupid things when it comes to you, dumbass. Just say it.”
Shoyo laughs softly, “I guess so.”
“You know so,” Tobio smiles too, unable to continue grumbling in the face of that radiant being.
Shoyo giggles again until the corners of his eyes crinkle. He is so freaking cute, even when he's a dork trying to make his brain work. Tobio can tell he's thinking about his words carefully because he bites his lip without realizing it, eyes hovering around as if he is working up the courage to reveal a big secret.
The silence lasts for long seconds, until Shoyo sighs and finally speaks up.
“I was going to ask for the button on your uniform yesterday,” He whispers sincerely. “Because… I wanna have a part of you with me even after we graduate.”
“A button?”
“Yeah. But… I also wanted to... Oh, god this is so embarrassing,” Shoyo buries his face in his hand, shaking his body from side to side. When he speaks again, his voice is all muffled, “IwantedthesecondbuttononyourblazerbecauseIlikeyou.”
Tobio frowns, confused. “What? Take your hand off your face, I can't understand anything.”
Tobio almost regrets what he said when Shoyo reappears with a furious, determined look. “I wanted the second button on your blazer because…” He closes his eyes tightly, clenches his fists, raises his nose and screams, “I LIKE YOU KAGEYAMA TOBIO!!!!!!!!!”
Luckily, it's still very early so there's no one around to witness this scene. Tobio is speechless and wide-eyed, his heart racing because the person he likes has just declared himself to him. Hinata Shoyo is now in front of him, panting for air, cheeks all flushed and eyes filled with tears. His hair is disheveled and he looks like he's about to cry, but to Tobio’s eyes, Shoyo is wonderful as always.
Tobio doesn't know how to act, he doesn't know what to say. But he's happy to know he's loved back, and he can't suppress the wide, wobbly smile that grows bigger on his face.
“Why are you smiling?” Shoyo questions, indignant. “Making fun of me, huh?”
“You're so stupid,” Tobio scoffs. “If you wanted that button you just had to ask.”
“I was going to do that, idiot! But I was afraid that someone had already asked first. Or worse, that you gave it as a gift to someone other than me! You know this tradition, you know that the second button is only given to someone you really like, to someone you love very much. So when I saw that the button wasn't there, I thought… I…”
A few tears begin to fall down Shoyo’s cheekbones. He turns his back to Tobio, bringing his free hand to his face and wiping the tears away. Tobio smiles in sympathy and places a hand in Shoyo’s hair, slowly caressing his scalp. He intertwines his fingers through the ginger curls and smiles when Shoyo turns to him again, sniffling.
“What are you doing?” He asks between hiccups.
Instead of answering, Tobio reaches into his uniform pocket and takes out a small object he prepared to be able to declare himself. It's Shoyo’s gift: a beaded golden bracelet made from the second button on Tobio’s blazer. The one he planned to give Shoyo from the beginning, along with his feelings and entire heart.
Tobio takes Shoyo’s hand with his own, squeezing it gently. His skin is warm, soft and has some calluses, completely perfect in Tobio’s opinion. He slides the bracelet down Shoyo’s arm and links their fingers together, ignoring the soft "poof" of the ball as it falls from his hand and hits the ground.
“I told you,” Tobio whispers, voice filled with tenderness. “You just had to talk to me, dumbass.”
Shoyo is still frozen. He shakes his head quickly and tries to voice some coherent words, “This is—Does that mean—You also like—”
“Yes.”
The wind passes between them, being the only sound audible for a few seconds. Then, Shoyo gives one of those huge, bright smiles of his before throwing himself at Tobio, arms shyly looping around his neck. Tobio loses his balance and takes a few steps back, but manages to wrap Shoyo around the waist and dive into their warm embrace. They are both breathing heavily, hands squeezing each other very tightly, but they are together in their own world.
“You,” Shoyo whispers against the crook of Tobio’s neck, his damp cheek drying against the warm skin there. “I hate you so much. You—You Dumbass!”
“Hmm,” Tobio buries his face in his hair, inhaling Shoyo’s sweet scent. “You are the only dumbass here.”
“I'm not! You made me cry!”
“That's what happens when you're a crybaby who jumps to conclusions.”
“Ugh, you're so annoying,” Shoyo nuzzles his face against him and Tobio can feel the smile stamped on his lips. “I'll make you pay for breaking my heart!”
“Sure.”
The two remain there for minutes, lost in each other’s warmth. Tobio would caress his back, while Shoyo strokes the hair on the back of his neck. Time seems to stop around them, the seconds turning into soft touches, and Tobio wishes he could bask in this new sensation forever. For all the days, months and years of his life.
It feels like another life-time promise between them. Another one he wants to fulfill with Shoyo by his side.
When they walk away, goofy smiles on their faces, Tobio knows he really wants to spend the rest of his life with that idiot. Whether on or off the court.
Tobio frames Shoyo’s face, brushing his thumbs across his warm, rosy cheeks. Shoyo has his eyes closed and his skin twitches every time Tobio’s long fingers dance over it. He's all flushed, shy and beautiful, which is enough to make Tobio’s heart do somersaults in his chest. And it's also enough to make Tobio slowly lean down until their lips can meet.
Just as he imagined, Shoyo’s mouth is as warm as his cheekbones. Their kiss is smooth, sweet and pleasant, a new kind of affection that Tobio can't imagine sharing with anyone else. They keep kissing at a slow pace, moving away a little to catch their breath. Shoyo pulls him closer to join their lips again, tiptoeing and dipping his fingers into Tobio’s silky locks. The kiss is clumsy, more like several smooches in a row than a lasting one. But just the fact that Tobio has Shoyo in his hands and Tobio is in Shoyo’s hands makes it all worth it. They are in this together, as they always are in anything else.
“Hey, Kageyama,” Shoyo murmurs between kisses.
“Hey,” Tobio moves away a bit to admire him. Shoyo’s hair is messier than ever, his lips are shiny and swollen and his cheeks are completely crimson. He is breathtaking, as always. Tobio can't help but press many smooches all over his face.
“You…” Shoyo sighs, smiling lazily. “Wanna go on a date with your one and only, amazing boyfriend?”
“No,” Tobio murmurs, voice muffled as he tilts Shoyo’s face to kiss his cheek, his eyelids and the tip of his nose. Shoyo giggles and the movement makes some curls fall over his face, which Tobio gently tucks behind his ear. “Who said I'm your boyfriend?”
“You're not?”
“No,” He repeats, bending down to press a chaste kiss on that troublesome, sweet mouth.
Shoyo hums happily, “What can I do to make you accept it, your majesty?”
“Treat me with meat buns.”
“Deal!!!” It's still very early and they can't go to the Sakanoshita market to get the buns, but Tobio knows he'll have all the time in the world to go there. To do this and much more with Shoyo close to him.
A year later, when Shoyo gives him the second golden button from his shirt before leaving for Brazil, Tobio knows there's nothing to worry about. He kisses Shoyo’s wrist that day, in an area close to his bracelet. Shoyo kisses his forehead and beams before taking a picture of their matching bracelets. Tobio smiles, seeing that the golden button remains there, a symbol of their love. One of many.
The two will grow, become stronger and reach the top together one day. The golden gleam on his own wrist reminds Tobio of their promise, of their strong bond, of Shoyo’s honey eyes, and how he seems to bring the energy of the sun down to earth.
Warm colors became Tobio’s all-time favorites after that.