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Abigail Roberts loved cold mornings the best. The chill in the air, the mist above the grass, dewdrops growing fat on the lavender, the soft sounds of the morning birds. She loved to stand out on the porch, still in her nightshirt, with a coffee in her hand and her blue shawl across her shoulders.
Best of all, she liked to go back inside to their warm caravan, sit by the coffee pot she’d set and watch Sadie sleep.
She was doing it now, watching the blonde slumbering quietly, studying the slow rise and fall of her chest. Leaning back in her chair with her coffee next to her, she smiled. Sadie was drooling slightly and her hair was messy beyond belief, a tangled heap of blonde and dusty brown. Her arm was sprawled out over the empty space where Abigail should’ve been, her fingers gently folded as if holding Abigail's hand.
Her things decorated the caravan. Her clothes - a white shirt, brown pants, suspenders and a black pair of chaps - folded neatly on a chair. One of her bridles on a coat rack, Abigail’s checked coat beside it, a saddle and a pair of riding boots by the door, freshly polished. Sweet-smelling lavender in a vase by the window sill, riding gloves beneath them, cleaned sheets drying in the rafters. A packet of premiums and a battered copy of Great Expectations sat on the bedside table.
Abigail smiled at it all. Such a life they’d created together. If it were possible to be drunk on happiness, she was sure it felt like this.
She gazed out at the other caravans on the ranch, at John’s and at Charles’. Theirs, like hers, looked equally as peaceful and John sat on the porch of his, a cigarette in his hand and the brim of his hat pulled low over his eyes. He was half asleep, his coffee on a barrel gone cold. Arthur sat on the steps of Charles’, his journal across his lap and his horse grazing in the grass in front of him. It didn’t take a genius to guess what he was drawing.
Sadie made a small noise in her sleep and Abigail turned her head back. She stood and perched on the edge of the bed, setting her coffee on the bedside table and leaning down. She kissed the back of the blonde’s head.
“Mornin’, darlin’.” She murmured, stroking soft circles into Sadie’s skin, tracing patterns around the freckles on her shoulders. “You gettin’ up anytime soon?”
“Mmmno…”
“I’ve got the coffee on, if that’s any help.”
“Mmmaybe…” Her eyes opened slowly and she peered at Abigail through her long eyelashes. A lazy smile graced her features. “Hey, darlin’.”
“Hello.”
Sadie slung an arm around Abigail’s neck and pulled her down until they were laying next to each other. Her hand, as always, slowly found its way under the hem of Abigail’s nightshirt and she drew circles on her thigh.
“Mornin’.” She repeated.
Abigail rolled her eyes, smiling. “Good mornin’, you fool. Enjoyin’ your sleep there?”
“Mhm. All the better for havin’ you here.”
Abigail rolled her eyes again but accepted a lazy kiss off of the blonde, humming contentedly. Sadie’s hand brushed her hair out of her face and Abigail held back a laugh. She kissed both of her cheeks and her smile softened.
She loved this Sadie. This Sadie was reserved only for her; the big softie that never let show in front of the gang.
The one who would doze on Abigail’s shoulder while she did the washing up in the evenings, the one who would kiss her after she hung up her hat at night, who brought her coffee almost every morning and pressed flowers into notebooks for her. The Sadie that didn’t seem so plagued by her grief, who smiled and joked freely, and gave affection where and when she wanted.
The Sadie that liked to trace her fingers over Abigail’s skin and make patterns until she fell asleep.
Abigail knew not to take her for granted. This Sadie - her Sadie, she liked to call her - wasn’t always the Sadie she got. Some days, the blonde could be so serious and grumpy that she would barely even talk to Abigail, let alone love her properly. Days of scowling and prowling around the ranch like a caged animal, her eyes steely and unsure.
Abigail never took the bad moods personally. She knew better than that, knew better than to think Sadie didn’t like her but it was hard to watch nonetheless. Angry retorts, short outbursts and often threats of violence - though the latter was usually directed at Sean or Bill or John someone like that. She could be so angry, some days. Abigail understood. She felt the same sometimes though she didn’t go about it in the same manner as Sadie.
Her bad moods stemmed from anger whereas Sadie’s came from pain and grief.
Some days, Sadie was so paralysed by her grief that it was as if her pain were brand new, an old scar being ripped and revealed all over again. Abigail would sit with her all day and patiently let her cry herself to sleep over and over and over again until the following morning. Then, when she was suitably exhausted, the blonde would lift her head, kiss Abigail’s cheek, thank her and bring her flowers from the fields.
Abigail, every time, would kiss her and tell her the flowers weren’t necessary. She loved Sadie no matter the mood, but the blonde would never accept such a sentiment so the flowers were her way forward. Abigail would hang them over their doorways.
Sadie nuzzled the underside of Abigail’s jaw. “What are you thinkin’ about?”
“Hm?” Abigail blinked out of her reverie. “Oh, nothin’ special. Probably just what to do for the day.”
Sadie nipped at her. “I got some ideas.”
“You’ve always got ideas. Rarely any of ‘em good.”
“Hey, you ain’t heard them yet.”
“Hm, let me guess. Does it involve you, your hands and ooh…none of your clothes?”
Sadie grinned. “Close. It involves me, my hands and none of your clothes.” Her fingers caught the hem of Abigail’s nightshirt and she tugged at it. “Good idea, ain’t it?”
Abigail smacked her hand and rolled her eyes. “You slept in. It would’ve been a good idea forty-five minutes ago.” She sighed. “We should get up otherwise Grimshaw is going to be banging that door down askin’ why we ain’t up for chores.”
Sadie scoffed. “Let her. Grimshaw could do with a shock to restart that cold, dead heart of hers.”
Abigail snorted and Sadie threw her arm around the brunette’s middle, pressing kisses to her cheek and neck and laughing triumphantly. Gotcha. She pulled her closer, earning a shriek of laughter as she kissed her all over.
“Stop it! Stop it!” Abigail spluttered through her aching ribs. “Stop it, we have to get up!”
“No, please!”
Abigail’s laugh was near hysterical. It was music to Sadie’s ears as she played with her. Sadie was much stronger than Abigail and it was easy keeping her in her grasp, no matter how much Abigail squirmed. But then, a well placed elbow to the blonde’s abdomen made her yelp and let go. She winced, still smiling.
“You’re a goddamn tease for that.”
Abigail turned her head and kissed Sadie over her shoulder. “I told you it wasn’t a good idea. And I’ll tease you even more if you keep it up.”
She sat up, brushing off Sadie’s weak attempt at keeping her pinned with her hand. Just to piss her off, she unbuttoned her shirt and let it slide down her back, keeping eye contact the whole time. Then, just as Sadie reached for her again, Abigail stood and let the shirt slip off completely, leaving Sadie with just the thin scrap of fabric. The blonde groaned loudly.
“Abi…” She whined.
Abigail, now completely naked, started pouring another cup of coffee. She rolled her eyes. “Such a baby. Lord wouldn’t know you’re a feared bounty hunter if you put a bullet between his eyes.”
Sadie pulled back the covers and stood up fiercely, an almost comically serious expression on her face. She approached Abigail and tugged her back into her arms. She nipped at her shoulder.
“I ain’t a baby.” She muttered.
Abigail’s hand gently scratched the sweet spot behind Sadie’s ear. “‘Course not. You’re very scary. Scariest person I know.”
Sadie hummed and the nip was soothed by a kiss. “Thank you, darlin’.” She squeezed Abigail’s hips and then turned to get dressed. She started picking her clothes up off of a chair. “What are you getting up to today?”
Abigail shrugged. “Same as usual, I imagine. Clean clothes, wash dishes, tend to the boy.”
“Oh, right.”
“Why?”
Sadie tugged her pants up around her waist and started binding her chest. “I was wonderin’ if you, uh, wanted to take a walk with me later?”
Abigail cocked an eyebrow. “A walk?”
“Yeah, you know, soak in the air. That crap.”
“A walk?” Abigail repeated.
The blonde blushed as she pulled her shirt on. “I’m on guard patrol.” She said. “Can’t really get out of it.”
Abigail chuckled. “Sure thing.” She approached Sadie and kissed her, smoothing her shirt across her chest and shoulders for her, then reached behind her for her dress, hung up on the wall.
Sadie’s hand buried itself in Abigail’s hair and she marvelled at it, how black it was, how shiny. She played with it for a few moments, awestruck. Abigail waited patiently. She set her dress back down and started doing Sadie’s braid as she did so.
“You want it in one or two?” She asked.
“One, please.” Sadie murmured, still fascinated by her hair. “How do you keep it so shiny?”
“I don’t dip it in blood and filth like you do.” The brunette said good-naturedly, smirking when Sadie scowled at her. “Keeping it away from your horrors and horrors in general will do wonders.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Sadie let go of her hair and did up her pants. She pulled her suspenders on and adjusted her scarf. “You want a coffee?”
Abigail snorted. “No. I don’t have time.” She set Sadie’s braid onto her shoulder and picked her dress back up. “Now go on, go. You’ll be late as well.”
Sadie smiled and, as Abigail bent to get her dress on, she dipped and stole a quick kiss from her. The brunette rolled her eyes.
“Go.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”
Sadie flashed another grin and then, once she’d pulled her boots and hat on, was gone. Abigail watched her from the window until she disappeared from view.
She fixed herself to go; a thin white dress with a dark blue blouse and a black heavy-skirt over the top. Her hair pulled back into its usual bun with two strands on either side and her boots polished and laced. She folded her sleeves back to sit halfway down her forearms.
She got herself a new cup of coffee before she left the caravan and headed across the ranch to work. On the walk over, Sadie’s figure was a blip on the distance that Abigail shook her head at. She smiled.
Damn fool.