Chapter Text
Luz was brimming with excitement as she fluttered around her mother as they made their way towards Hexside.
"Oh, do you think I need to bring my own runes? Do they teach runes?" Luz did a backflip – not because she needed to, but she was just so excited. "Is the Choosy Hat going to try and eat me?"
"If that thing is still alive, I'm going to have some words with Principal Bump," Camila said.
"Ooh, scary mama," King said. He was coming along to see what a real magic school looked like, and also because he wanted to hang out with Luz more than get involved in whatever scheme Eda was plotting. She'd said something about 'pulling our weight', and hadn't specified what that actually, you know, meant. Probably something illegal. Vee had elected to stay at the Owl House – which Luz was disappointed by, yeah, but she kind of got it.
Maybe one day, Vee would be ready for the world, and the world ready for her. But today wasn't that day.
Luz flittered around, looking at everything as the three of them made their way through Hexside towards the principal's office. By the time they were there, Luz was darting around, talking King and Camila's ears off in her excitement.
Camila knocked on the door to the office, and after a few moments a voice called for them to enter.
Luz had never met Principal Bump before. She knew that he'd been vice principal when her dad was at Hexside, but that was about it. The man was old, stern-looking, and wore robes similar to the ones St. Epiderm's principal had worn, as well as having a strange demon… Hat? Pet? Something on top of his head.
"Good morning, Principal Bump," Camila said, as she sat down. "My name is Camila Noceda."
"A relative of Emmanuel Noceda, I presume?" Bump asked.
"His wife," Camila confirmed.
"Your husband was quite an interesting student during his time here. My condolences."
"Thank you. I was hoping to enroll my daughter, Luz, in Hexside."
"Hi!" Luz waved, as she landed on top of Principal Bump's desk. "I'm Luz!"
"Hello, Luz," Bump said. "Please don't stand on my desk."
Luz flew over to perch on King's shoulder instead. To King's credit, he didn't overbalance at all now – seemed he was getting used to this.
"And who's this?" Principal Bump said, indicating King.
"King Clawthorne," King introduced himself. "Luz got lost and stayed at my house and now she's my sister."
"He's considering enrolling as well," Camila explained. "He hasn't decided yet."
"Well, Hexside will be glad to have you both next semester," Bump said.
"Just like that?" Luz asked, surprised.
"No, there is the matter of paperwork," Bump said, glancing to Camila.
"Of course," Camila said smoothly.
"In the meantime…" Principal Bump pressed a button on what Luz recognized as an intercom from her many times in Principal Draconicus's office. "Amity Blight, please report to the principal's office."
It didn't take long for a green-haired, pale-skinned, golden-eyed girl around Luz's age to arrive.
"Principal Bump? You needed me for something?"
"Yes, thank you, Amity." Principal Bump gestured to Luz and King. "These two are prospective new students. As one of our top students, I felt it fitting that you should give them a tour."
"Of course," Amity said. "I would be honored. Come along."
Luz clung to King's shoulder as he followed Amity out into the halls.
"Hexside is the largest magical school on the Boiling Isles," Amity said. "In these hallowed halls, forged by battle and study, we expect the utmost results from our students. Each student is placed into a coven track."
"Which one are you?" King asked curiously.
"The orchid uniform represents the abomination track," Amity said. "Of which I am top student. The abomination homeroom is actually just ahead, if you're curious."
"Yes!" Luz shouted. "At my old school, I wasn't allowed near the abominations."
Amity frowned. "That's a shame. It's the best track by far."
"Oh, are there any secret passages here, like in The Good Witch Azura?"
Amity's eyes widened slightly, and she laughed a bit. "No, not that I know of."
"That doesn't actually mean no," Luz pointed out.
"I know. I didn't know anyone else…" Amity trailed off, and then seemed to catch herself and resume her professional demeanor. "… My apologies. I'll continue with the tour now. The homeroom is this way."
The three of them rounded a corner to see another girl in an abomination track uniform, sitting next to a large pot. She was somewhat heavyset, with an adorably round face, dark hair, and big glasses. She appeared to be crying, and Luz wondered what was wrong with her.
"Willow!" Amity said in surprise. "Wow! I didn't see you there."
… Something in Amity's tone suddenly felt very off to Luz, and she didn't like it.
"Hi, Amity." The girl – Willow – sounded resigned.
"Class is starting soon, you know," Amity said. "Shouldn't you get ready to prep your special project?"
The pot began rattling and spilled out on the ground. Luz hadn't seen many abominations, but she knew they were supposed to be a lot less… liquid-y than that.
"Aw, gross," King said. "… Can I have some?"
"Oh, Willow, you don't have anything to show, do you?" Amity asked. "What have you been doing these past two weeks? It's barely any better. This is why people call you 'Half-a-Witch Willow'."
Luz's blood ran cold. King looked at her quizzically, and she realized she'd been digging her claws into his shoulder and loosened up, but she didn't say anything yet.
"I'm sure you'll get a passing grade one of these days," Amity said, completely failing to pick up on Luz's discomfort. "As top student, it's my duty to tell you to keep at it!"
She walked off, leaving the other witch behind. As King rushed to follow, Luz looked back on Willow with pity, only to see the other girl punch a wall and leave visible cracks in it, leafy vines growing around her feet.
Luz jumped off of King's shoulder and went to stand in front of Amity. "Dude, what the heck was that about? What did that girl do to you?"
"That was just half-a-witch Willow," Amity said. "She's an embarrassment who can't do magic properly."
"… You know what?" Luz asked. "I think we can do our own tour. Come on, King."
Luz climbed back up to King's shoulder as he blew a raspberry at the spluttering Amity.
"Let's go find some better company," Luz said, feeling a great bit of satisfaction at leaving the green-haired bully behind.
The next several minutes were fairly quiet as the two walked through the halls, taking in the sights, until…
"I think I hear something," Luz said, pointing at a door. "In that classroom!"
King opened the door, and the two of them set eyes upon Willow, the girl from before, as well as her abomination pot. There was also a dark-skinned boy that Luz vaguely recognized as a kid she ran into from time to time when she was out and about in Bonesborough – he'd been the one who told her that rain didn't boil in the Human Realm.
"And Mattholomule had all these fake artifacts! One of them was just a painted griffin egg he said was a human skull!" The boy was ranting. "And he passed off a rock as a 'phone'."
"What's a phone?" Willow asked. She seemed in a little bit of a better mood than when Amity had been there earlier.
"I don't know! I think it's some sort of human version of a scroll where they harness the power of lightning in tiny boxes of a special metal to communicate with invisible light."
Luz didn't know how phones worked, but she was pretty sure that was wrong. Did 'invisible light' even exist?
"Huh, that's actually exactly right," King said.
… King's tone kind of implied that, yes, invisible light was a thing, and that humans had somehow figured out a way to trap lightning in tiny metal boxes.
That was slightly terrifying.
The two witches looked in the direction of the human and the demon.
"How do you know?" The boy asked. "Are you another appreciator of humans?"
King smirked.
"It's you," Willow said. "The new students Amity was showing around. Let me guess, you're here to call me 'half-a-witch', too."
"Actually, we ditched her. She's a butt," King said bluntly.
"Yeah, I couldn't stand how she treated you," Luz said, as she hopped to the ground. "Besides, neither of us can use real magic, anyway."
"Wait, you're the crazy rain demon girl," Willow's friend said, seeming to notice Luz for the first time. "Willow, she's the one I was telling you about! She actually listened when I talked about humans in the library."
Luz walked over to Willow and held out a paw. "Sorry we got off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm Luz! Luz Noceda."
"Willow Park," Willow said, as she shook. "If you two are powerless, why are you enrolling?"
"Well, I found my own way," Luz said, and reached into her bag to pull out a light glyph she already had prepared. She tapped a claw on it and held up the ball of light to show it off.
"Magic with paper?" The boy asked. "That's incredible!"
"Hope Bump thinks so, too," Luz said. "I didn't catch your name."
"Augustus Porter," the now-identified boy said. "Resident human expert of Hexside!"
"Gah, too many syllables," King said. "I'm a bigger human expert than you'll ever be, Gus."
"Really?" Luz asked.
"Oh? And how do you know so much about humans?" Augustus challenged.
King pushed the hair on the right side of his head behind his ear to show how circle-y it was. Luz's own non-existent ears were left ringing for several minutes at the sheer volume and pitch of the sound Augustus made.
"OH MY TITAN A HUMAN. Where are your gills?" He moved closer to inspect King, and King stumbled back to get a little space. "Your fangs are huge! I thought humans had smaller fangs than us, guess that was wrong!"
Luz was pretty sure it wasn't. King's fangs – he called them 'canines', though, which was very weird for Luz – were a lot bigger than she'd seen on any other human, or even most witches. She figured it was because of his witch heritage.
"Wait. This means that you gave me a human nickname! Yes, call me it, I am now Gus!" The newly-dubbed Gus began dancing. He gasped. "You can help me prove Mattholomule wrong!"
"And that is…?" How the heck was King just taking this in stride?
"Oh, he's just this dumb jerk who keeps trying to pass off trash as real human artifacts," Gus said. "The Human Appreciation Society is kind of in a civil war right now, and it might turn into a bloodbath if I can't figure something out. But now you're here! A real live human that can help me out!"
"Hmm… Causing chaos by humiliating a teenager," King pretended to consider it. "… Okay, I'm in! Lead the way!"
"Just gotta message him first," Gus said, taking out a scroll. "See you later, Willow!" Gus waved as he led King away.
"Wow, they hit it off really fast," Luz said.
"Gus has wanted to meet a human for years," Willow said. She sighed.
"What's wrong?" Luz asked.
"Well… Amity was kind of right. I'm no good at Abomination magic. You saw what my abomination looked like, and that was better than usual. I wish I could get a passing grade for once."
"Why not ask to switch to a different track?" Luz asked. "Your plants back there looked pretty strong."
"My dads wanted me to be in the abomination track. They said it had better job opportunities," Willow said. "… And I think they're scared of Terra Snapdragon."
Luz shuddered. She'd grown up hearing Raine tell her about how they had first met her dad at some instructional thing, and that Terra had been proctoring that year. She'd sounded creepy as heck, and the one time Luz had actually met the woman in person had reinforced that. That was one of the only times that Luz was actually thankful for being mistaken as a pet.
"Well… I could be your abomination." Luz said, as she jumped up to the desk next to the pot and reached in to slap some goo on herself.
"What? That'll never work! Professor Hermonculus is an abominations expert."
"Abominations are just chunks of stuff that talk weird," Luz said. "I'm chunks of stuff, and I talk weird!"
"That's true…" Willow said.
"Plus, it's already going to be a pain to wash this out of my fur so I might as well go all in!"
Was that poor logic? Probably. Was she backing down? Nope. The only thing for it was to jump in the pot and roll around to get as much abomination goop as she could all over herself to make it as convincing as possible.
"Ta-da, I'm an abomination!" Luz said, as she struck a pose while standing on a desk. "A-hem. Braaaiiins."
Willow looked at her quizzically.
"It's a human thing," Luz said. "Ready to wow your teacher?"
"Anything's better than what I've been doing," Willow said, reaching out to shake Luz's hand, which resulted in them getting stuck together for a bit and Willow accidentally throwing Luz to the ground.
"… This is a great plan. I bet you ten snails that I'll be the best abomination in class!"
Willow laughed. "I'll take that bet. I'll even triple it if you win."
Luz had never been in an abominations class before. The only coven track class she'd ever been allowed in was potions – it was all she could really learn without having any powers – and she'd been promptly banned after causing a potion to explode less than a week into classes, and then banned from abominations to prevent something similar from happening. It hadn't been her fault, not really. She'd scraped her elbow the day before and her bandage had fallen off and into the potion, which really hadn't liked the addition of unknown demon blood.
Abominations were sort of like potions, only alive. Semi-alive. Actually, she didn't know if they counted as alive or not, and the classroom didn't actually help much in learning that. The class today mostly seemed to be a way for the teacher to try and humiliate Willow specifically.
"Alright, students," The professor – he looked to be a demon-witch hybrid, with a beaklike mouth, green hair, and glasses, making an abomination carry him around. "Let's see how much half-a-witch Willow has improved. With over two weeks to work on her abomination, she's surely managed something passable."
Willow looked nervous, so Luz whispered to her. "Hey, don't worry. We've got this!"
"Now, remember our deal, Willow," Professor Hermonculus said. "If your abomination's good enough, you pass the semester. If not, you fail, and everyone in this room gets three months of extra homework."
… This was definitely just a scheme to humiliate Willow. Thankfully, though, Luz was her secret weapon today! All she had to do was wait for Willow's command. And then wash abomination gunk out of her fur when she got home. It didn't take long for that command to come, and once it did, Luz punched the top of the pot off, and flung herself out with a strong flap of her wings. "Ta-da!" She posed as she landed.
"Abomination, bow!"
Luz bowed low to the ground. "Blah!"
"Impressive," Professor Hermonculus said, inspecting Luz. "A bit small, and the wings are a strange choice, but can it speak?"
"I may be your abomination," Luz said, as she leaned against Willow's leg. "But you're my a-mom-ination!"
The students watching cooed at the sight. Perfect.
… Almost perfect, Luz amended, as she saw that one of the students didn't look impressed at all. Amity was glaring at her, looking positively murderous.
"Splendid wordplay!" The teacher complemented. "A plus!"
"What?" Amity yelled out. "Professor Hermonculus, that's clearly a demon covered in abomination goop! I was showing her around the school earlier!"
"Amity Blight! I am an expert. This abomination looks like no demon I've ever seen. Willow's creativity is to be commended." Professor Hermonculus reached forward and plucked a golden star from the collar of Amity's cowl. "Far more deserving of the top student spot than jealousy."
"But!"
"The only butt will be yours in the principal's office if you keep this up," the professor said, as he pinned the star to Willow's cowl instead.
"Excellent work, Willow. I'll see you next semester."
"I can't believe that actually worked," Willow commented, once she was out in the hallway.
"Yep! And now you owe me thirty snails," Luz said.
Oh, right. Willow lost the bet. She had absolutely no idea how, it should have been extremely obvious that her 'abomination' was a small, fluffy demon.
Willow groaned. "I was so sure I was making ten snails to take the sting out of failure…"
"So, what's up next?" Luz asked. "Ancient scrolls, runes, dark plots that threaten your life?"
"Lunch," Willow said. "So… the last one, if you didn't bring your own food."
"Hmm…" Luz licked her arm, pulling some of the abomination goo off. "… You know, that doesn't taste as bad as I expected. What's in this stuff, anyway?"
"I… don't think you want to know," Willow said. "It's probably better than the cafeteria food, though. I can't imagine anyone would want to eat that."
"I'll take your word for it," Luz said, and ducked her way back into the pot. Willow took to wheeling her towards the cafeteria so that the two of them could get some food… Although Luz seemed to be content eating her failed abomination.
Luz was an… interesting demon, and not just because Willow hadn't seen anything quite like her before. Willow found that she enjoyed her company, though.
Once she entered the cafeteria, she quickly spotted King and Gus. Gus was eating a PB&J sandwich, his usual lunch, and King – the brave soul – had elected to eat the cafeteria food. Bizarrely, he seemed to be enjoying it. If that wasn't proof that he really wasn't a witch, Willow didn't know what was.
"So, turns out, Mattholomule was just lonely," Gus explained.
"Really?" Willow asked, transfixed on King. Did he not have taste buds? He was eating the mystery meat. No one ate the mystery meat.
"Yeah, no, I was totally expecting it to be some sort of power play because of the way he was acting before. King's gonna teach him all about human bugs after lunch!" Gus said.
King paused his eating to flash what Willow could only describe as an evil grin.
"How'd your thing go?" Gus asked, not having noticed.
"You mean the thing where she shoved a new student into abomination clay and had her fake being an abomination."
Willow, Gus, and King all turned to see Amity standing at the edge of the table, glaring at them. Luz poked her head up out of the pot.
"It was my idea, Amity. Not Willow's."
"It doesn't matter whose idea it was! You cost me my top student badge!" Amity shouted. She grabbed Luz, lifting her out of the pot and shaking her. "Do you have any idea how hard I've worked, only for you to show up, decide I'm not good enough to show you around, and then help another student cheat?"
"Amity Blight!"
That was Professor Hermonculus.
"I expected some jealously, but this? This is just sad."
"But – That's clearly a demon!"
"This again? Need I remind you who the abomination expert here is?"
Amity glared.
"That's what I thought. Report to Principal Bump's office."
"But-"
"Now, Amity."
Amity dropped Luz back into the muck, and left with the teacher.
"Wow. He is really bad at his job," King said.
The next ten or so minutes were spent with Luz telling King all about the time she'd spent with Willow, right up until the PA system started up, Principal Bump's voice sounding over it.
"Willow Park, please report to the abomination homeroom."
"Well, you're screwed," King said.
… So much for a vote of confidence.
"And, hey, looks like Luz might beat my record for getting in trouble at school!" King said brightly. "Even I've never managed to do it a week and a half before my first class!"
"Don't worry, Willow, I'm sure it will be fine," Luz said, from her spot inside the pot of abomination goop.
"How?" Willow hissed.
"You didn't even cause any property damage," Luz pointed out.
"That's… true."
There wasn't much discussion for the rest of the trip to the abomination homeroom, Luz simply sat there in the darkness and muck. After a couple of minutes, Luz heard a door opening, and the voice of Principal Bump.
"Good afternoon, Willow," the old witch said. "Amity tells me you have an interesting project. I had to come by and see what she's made of."
"I have her list of ingredients right here," Willow said weakly.
"No, I think I'll have a closer look myself." The pot lid was removed, and Luz found herself being lifted by the scruff of her neck. Principal Bump scrutinized her, narrowing his eyes.
… Maybe he didn't recognize her.
"Miss Noceda."
Okay, he recognized her.
"Why are you pretending to be Miss Park's abomination?"
"To… help her get a passing grade?"
"I KNEW IT!" Luz's fur stuck out on end as her head whipped around to see the source of the voice: Amity Blight. Amity stomped over, glaring at Luz. "YOU HELPED HER CHEAT!"
"Amity-" Luz began.
"NO!" Amity clenched her hands into fists. "I lost my badge because of you! Because YOU decided that hard work doesn't matter!" Amity closed her eyes. "I have been working my whole life to get to the top!"
Amity opened her eyes again, a pink glow lighting them up. "And I won't let you take that away just because my teacher's an idiot!" She raised her arms, and the lids of every single pot of abomination goop shot into the air.
Amity thrust her hand forward, and a wave of purple sludge bowled over Bump, causing him to drop Luz. Before Luz could react, Willow caught her, tucked her under her arm, and bolted.
"What the heck was that?" Luz asked, as a wave of abomination goop crashed out of the classroom behind them.
"I don't know," Willow said, as she ran. "I've never seen Amity like this before!"
"Well, it might be a good time to do some magic before she destroys the school!" Luz said.
"I can't," Willow said. "I can barely get abominations to do anything! How am I supposed to stop that?"
"What about plants?" Luz asked.
"There aren't any here," Willow pointed out. "And I don't think we have time to go looking for them underground!"
As if to accentuate the point, Amity surfed onto the wave of abomination goop, her eyes still glowing pink as she chased the other two teens.
"GIVE ME BACK MY BADGE!" Amity yelled. Luz un-pinned it from Willow's cowl and threw it back. Amity caught it, but didn't slow down her assault at all.
Luz fished in her hoodie's pocket for a moment, pulling out a plant glyph that was thankfully not stained to the point of being unusable by abomination goop.
"Here," Luz said. "Use this!"
"What?"
"It's like my other spell, but this one's plants!" Luz explained. "Make a plant, then control it!"
Willow nodded, using the hand that wasn't carrying Luz to tap the glyph, forming a small vine. She drew a spell circle, her own eyes glowing green, and the vine exploded into a wall of plants, cutting through the abomination goo, and covering the entire main hall of the school.
When it finally calmed down, Amity was stuck to the wall of the school with vines, and Willow dropped Luz to the ground.
"Weh!" Luz yelped as she landed. "It's finally over."
"… Mija?"
Luz's eyes went wide as she looked to where the voice had come from, seeing her mother standing next to a goop-covered Principal Bump.
"… Hi, Mom," Luz said.