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When Kuzuha streams, he often talks with a different tone.
Kanae can tell quite easily and tries not to interrupt his stream most of the time.
However, when he's seriously drunk, he can't even tell black from white.
Which explains why he barged into to Kuzuha's house, into his streaming room.
"Wait what-what Kanae?!"
And a questioning Kuzuha.
[kanakana??]
[huh what?]
"Ku-chan, oh my goodness, you're still here."
"What do you mean?" A puzzled Kuzuha frowned, trying to guess what he meant.
As if everything clicked in his mind, Kuzuha sighed.
It was probaby the work of Roto, showing Kanae a fragment of their past when he entered the portal.
And judging by this Kanae who was confused and frantic, he probably didn't know about the existence of Roto, and just thought of him as a stuff toy.
Damn it, did the cat need more drama for his novel about him and Kanae?
"I'm not going anywhere, you don't have to worry, come'ere."
Opening his arms gesturing for a hug, Kanae started straddlng him.
"You...what..."
"hey, kuzuha, won't you suck my blood?"
"what. are you drunk."
"hm maybe or maybe not."
"i'll won't do it either way. Shouldn't be drinking your blood"
"uuu is my blood not nice?"
"no, no, the fact is that it's too good so i'm afraid i'll drink too much."
"please, i don't mind even if-"
"No. Just please, no, i can't go through this again."
"Sasha?"
"not again, please, please, please"
"Sasha, calm down. I'm here." Kanae suddenly serious, rested his forehead against Kuzuha.
"..."
"i'll sleep first, i'm getting a headache." Kanae whispers.
Kuzuha ends stream shortly and joins Kanae in bed.
"Not this lifetime, never." Kanae hears him mutter while Kuzuha's grip around him tightens.
When Kanae wakes up the next morning with no headache (surprisingly), he finds himself stroking Kuzuha, with a strange fondness.
"Sasha." He rolls the words over his tongue.
He feels wetness on his cheeks.
"When it matters, I'm always of no use. Sasha, i'm sorry i wasn't able to-"
A burning church flashes in his mind, which makes him curl himself up into a ball and his head hurts, hurts, and the next moment, Kuzuha's already up and gently pulling away his hands that have somewhat covered his ears.
"Breathe with me. In 1 2 3 4..."
Ah, so that's what's constricting his throat. He was having a panic attack.
"Ku..." Kanae hates how weak and pathetic his voice sounds.
"shhh, it's okay, it's okay," Kuzuha whispered concerningly, which seem out of the ordinary, but he couldn't care less at the moment.
He felt painful. Like his heart hurt.
"it hurts, it hurts..."
"what hurts? tell me, kanae." Kuzuha gently rubs the back of his palm comfortably.
"i don't know, don't know."
Kuzuha pulls him back down onto the bed and grabs him into his arms.
"you're not useless. And I'm here. You wanna listen?"
And so Kanae hears. A steady heartbeat.
"Kanae. Look at me."
He's afraid to.
He lifts up his chin, Kanae's eyes are watery.
And he pinches his nose.
Kanae swats his hand away, pouting.
Kuzuha laughs, and then all of sudden, Kanae's world feels brighter and warmer.
"thank you, Kuzuha." Kanae smiles.
And that smile is one Kuzuha will cherish forever. How Kanae's eyes sparkles, how his face brightens, like a flower blooming. How his lips...are coming closer, and closer, and finally touches Kuzuha's own lips.
It's not the first time Kanae kissed him, but he feels this one is different from the rest. The previous ones were more playful, this one was more sincere. This one felt sweeter.
Kanae lets go, but Kuzuha can't help but to reach for more.
He places gentle butterfly kisses on the length of his neck, making Kanae flush in delight with how forward he was being.
During that day's recording of Kuronan, no one questions why they're both wearing turtlenecks and hold hands under the table.