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It had been the longest day in Ian’s life. He hadn’t pissed since he left the house that morning, and his bladder was spent. He had considered going during History, then Geometry, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t believe he’d lasted all day. And by the time Lip met him outside of school to walk home with him, he was about ready to explode. Hopefully, he could hold it just a little bit longer.
Ian hoped he wasn’t being too obvious. He was pretty shaky, and walking was getting to be hard. His belt was pressing into his bladder, and the weight of his backpack wasn’t making it better. He was really lost in his own world until Lip snapped him out of it.
“You good, dude?” He asked, looking over at Ian. He flinched a little bit, not realizing he had been so zoned out.
“Yeah,” he responded blankly. “All good.” He gave a shy smile, trying not to let his brother catch on.
“You just seem a little.. off, is all.” Lip commented. Ian sighed. Should he tell him? He didn’t want to. He knew that most likely, Lip wouldn’t make fun of him. He probably wouldn’t even care. But there was that small part of his brain that was telling him that Lip would think it was the funniest thing in the world. He just kept it to himself, continuing to hold it, praying he could make it home.
As their walk continued, Lip hummed contently, not suspecting anything of Ian anymore. Until Ian suddenly felt a wave of desperation. He stopped dead in his tracks, pressing his legs together. It was going to come out. He was gonna piss himself right here on the sidewalk.
“Seriously man, what’s wrong?” Lip asked, also stopping, the concern back in his voice as he looked over at a helpless, desperate Ian.
“I just.. I really, really have to pee. Really.” Ian responded, slightly winded. If he said too much, he’d lose focus and pee his pants, which he wouldn’t have wanted to happen anyway. But right here in front of his brother? No thank you. Lip seemed to look at Ian with a confused, but still worried look on his face.
“That’s it? Jesus, Ian, I thought, like, your appendix burst or somethin’,” Lip scoffed. Ian was still frozen in place, trying so hard not to let go of his overfull bladder.
“That’s..kinda what it feels like.” Ian responded. At this point, he took a couple small, slow steps forward to catch up with Lip.
“Why didn’t you go earlier? I’m sure you could’ve made time.” Lip asked him. Even though he told Lip pretty much everything, Ian didn’t tell anybody this, ever. But.. he was a little bit pee-shy. At home, he couldn’t care less who heard him piss. But at school, if anybody even heard a single drop, his dignity would be toast. He didn’t know why. Everyone pisses, it’s not like he was special for it. But it just felt so… so dehumanizing. He never thought he would be saying this to anybody, but now he had no choice but to explain to Lip, why he, Ian Clayton Gallagher, who was in ROTC and one of the smartest kids in his grade, couldn’t fucking piss in public.
“I just- ah- I don’t like.. you know.. peeing in public.” He responded, whimpering a little. He could feel tears well up in the corners of his eyes, partly from his bladder being on the verge of explosion, but also because he was so humiliated that he had to say that to his brother. Lip didn’t make fun of him though. He still had that same look of sympathy in his eyes.
“That makes sense,” Lip said. “Do you think you can make it home?” Ian nodded, but he really wasn’t sure. They were super close to home, but super close still felt far as hell to him because of his stupid bladder. He didn’t think he’d ever had to piss this bad in his life. He took a couple steps forward, but it hurt. It hurt so, so bad.
“Ian, seriously dude, if you can’t make it..” Lip didn’t want Ian having an accident as much as Ian himself didn’t want to have an accident. “How about we ask Kev and Veronica if you can use their bathroom?” Ian rapidly shook his head.
“Their only bathroom is upstairs, and there’s no way I can get up any stairs right now.” Ian hated shooting down Lip’s suggestions, but right now nothing seemed possible. Ian bit his lip as he suddenly felt himself leak, dampening his jeans. He was going to pee his pants. “I’m not gonna make it, Lip. I’m gonna piss my pants.” And like he had been counting down the seconds, his bladder gave out. He couldn’t control it, piss was just pouring out of him. He could only stare down at his jeans in shock as he peed himself. He couldn’t lie, the relief was AMAZING after holding it for almost 6 hours. But the embarrassment of wetting himself in front of his older brother, just steps away from his house, outweighed the relief vastly. He didn’t even want to look up to see Lip’s reaction. He just continued to stare at the puddle of piss below him, rapidly growing as his bladder emptied.
Finally, his stream came to a stop, and he breathed a heavy sigh. His jeans and sneakers were soaked. Jesus, he had been full. He looked at Lip, who had turned away once Ian started peeing to give him privacy. Lip turned to look at Ian again, this time feeling total sympathy for his brother.
“You feel better?” Lip asked him. Ian shyly nodded, still embarrassed as all hell. Even though he was soaked in piss, Lip still threw his arm around him and pulled him in for a hug. “Let’s get you into the house and into some clean clothes.”