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Mithrun keeps correspondence with Kabru after the coronation of the new king. His new job as advisor kept him busy. An elf of Mithrun’s experience could definitely help, but he could care less about political intrigue — he can leave that to Pattadol and Her Majesty, The Elven Queen for that. He does spend time trying to find a new lease on life. Taking care of himself was something he had to learn to want, as much as it disturbed him to admit. So he tries to, for the sake of his comrades and for the sake of Kabru.
Kabru invites Mithrun to a tavern one night. Mithrun has also taken up writing, and gives him a long list of things he’s doing to pass the time. Anything goes. Brewing beer, blowing glass, apprenticing for a blacksmith. This week, he has been knitting tapestries.
Mithrun could hold his ale. Kabru does not.
In their previous meetings, Mithrun notices Kabru giving him strange looks. He recognizes that as longing. Desire, even. From an objective level, he understands. Mithrun was fair in his day and was loved by many, before the accursed Goat ruined him. But his heart didn’t beat for anything — it was merely pumping blood.
They talk well into the night. Kabru is full of life. His eyes sparkle like cobalt ore. Mithrun wonders if he would’ve found Kabru charming at all back then. He guesses it would be so. It wasn’t hard to like Kabru.
Then a long lull of quiet. Kabru coughs. “Can I ask a question?”
“Mm.”
“Have you…ever fallen in love?”
“Once. I was married.”
“And after that?”
Mithrun sips his ale instead.
“Do you think that someday…there could be a chance…” Kabru begins. Bewilderingly, he slaps himself a few times on the cheeks, seeming flustered. “This shouldn’t be hard to say.”
“I can’t love you,” Mithrun says gently. Better to quit while you’re ahead.
Kabru looks at him, hurt. So why ask? “I…I know,” and it’s clear he wants to say more, but falters. “I’m so stupid.”
“You’re only human,” Mithrun says. It’s not much of an apology, but Kabru would probably appreciate it if he weren’t offered platitudes. He extends his hand. After hesitating, Kabru takes it. One is warm, the other cold. Kabru needs someone to love him wholly. Mithrun knows as much. It cannot be him.
“Would you still want me around?”
“Of course. These ‘desires’...I’m not just doing this for myself.”
They leave it at that.