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“I still find this to be an utterly ridiculous mode of transportation for a supposed elite investigation.”
“Pipe down, Sherl!” Katrielle chirped.
Katrielle and her two companions were sitting in the back of a truck bed, shaking and jumping at each dip and dive in the road. The driver, a man in his late forties, sat silently in the front seat, the back driver’s window opened just a crack so he could keep track of his passengers.
“I’m sure our chaperone doesn’t appreciate your yapping.”
“ Chaperone.” Sherl parroted in an imitation of her voice, then scoffed.
“We’re not esteemed guests! We’re hitchhikers!” Sherl howled as the truck hit another pothole. The driver yelled back.
“Hope ‘yer keepin’ ahold of that dog!”
“Yes, sir.” Ernest murmured back in a hollowed voice. The frail looking man was holding Sherl in his lap, but at this point the canine was practically holding him up.
Ernest had been quiet for most of the ride, as it was discovered that he had a bad case of motion sickness.
“Steady, pinstripes. If you lose your lunch, it’s game over for my coat.”
“Hmm, lunch…” Katrielle mused longingly. “How long has it been since we’ve had lunch?”
“ THAT’S the implication you’re focussing on?!”
“About… hrk… about five or so hours, Miss.” Ernest fumbled out.
Katrielle sighed loudly.
“That was forever ago!”
Flipping herself onto her knees and scooting towards the front of the truck, Katrielle politely knocked at the bordering window.
“Excuse me, Mister Denver?”
“Bernie.”
“Right, sorry. Bernie?”
“Yes’m?”
“Could you possibly drop us off at the nearest restaurant? I believe the motel is close, so we can walk from there.”
“Right’m. There should be a steakhouse up ahead.”
“ Oooh!” Katrielle clapped her hands together excitedly.
“Did you hear that, you two? A genuine Steakhouse!”
Ernest gave a meek thumbs up, eyes closed and head lowered. He seemed happy enough to find an excuse to get out of a vehicle that was bent on acting as a cocktail shaker for his stomach. Sherl groaned.
The driver gave the excited foreigner an amused look look, before returning his eyes to the road. Before long, a neon sign became visible over a line of trees. The sign read Buck’s Rodeo in large, bold letters. The truck driver parked, wished the trio well as they crawled (or in Ernest’s case, tumbled) out of the bed, then drove off into the night.
Ernest got his bearings on shaky legs as they slowly walked to the entrance, and with a brief confirmation that he was feeling better, the trio entered the establishment.
While the outside of Buck’s was peaceful and secluded, the inside was quite crowded and lively, many tables and booths being occupied by loudly chattering patrons scarfing down portions that could feed armies with a single plate. Katrielle was smitten. Even as they took their seats at their table, Katrielle was squirming in her seat, her head on a swivel as she greedily took in eyefulls of passing trays of food as if they could satiate the growling in her belly with a single glance. She began to tap her heels and toes on the wooden floor, narrowly avoiding Sherl’s tail in the process.
“Watch it.” The dog muttered.
“I’m watching all of it!” Katrielle squealed.
“Where do we start?! Steaks seem like a mandatory option, but goodness, those burgers look marvelous! They’re almost bigger than the ones at Big Bang Burger, and they were as big as Sherl!”
“You’re gonna shave off a couple inches of that measurement if you take my tail off!” Sherl finally scooted closer to Ernest’s side of the table to avoid the girl’s incessant happy-taps. Ernest noticed this and leaned down to give the dog a reassuring pat on the head.
“These menu options do seem very enticing. Ah! Look!” Ernest beamed as he lowered a menu to Sherl’s level.
“They have an entire section of entrées for dogs!”
Sure enough, a small section of the menu was dedicated to mini-entrees for man’s best friend. Sherl’s grumpy attitude seemed to lighten up with a small grin. This was indeed a diversity win for dogs that could read menus. Snapped out of momentary bliss, Sherl’s smile dropped.
“Err…I suppose exclusive options come with exclusive pricing.” Sherl prodded a paw at the menu. Ernest pulled the menu back up and took a look for himself.
“ Goodness!” He gasped.
“Some of these meals are up to thirty dollars each! Miss, how much money do we have left over from the conversion?”
“Ah…” Katrielle deflated a bit, still holding a hopeful smile.
“About…twenty-five dollars…or so.”
“Oh dear.”
Ernest spared another glance at the menu and bit the inside of his cheek.
“Ah… Perhaps we can just go for a shared appetizer—?”
“ GOOOOOOD AFTERNOON, PARDNERS!”
A loud holler covered up Sherl’s own startled one, and the source of the shouting came between the trio and enthusiastically slammed a hand down onto the table.
“I’ll be yer waitress for tonight! Can I get ya’ll started with some drinks?”
The woman was a spunky looking redhead in her late twenties, wearing a cowboy hat and very low tank top, with a brush of freckles on her face that scattered down her shoulders. She was about as country as they come.
“Ah… Yes please. However, might we inquire about your pri-?”
“Aw, you’re real fancy! I feel like I’m talkin’ to a ‘lil victorian boy!”
“…Thank you?” Ernest said with an embarrassed blush, then seemed to forget what he was saying. Katrielle butted in in his stead.
“Ehem. About your prices. We’re a teensy bit short on money at the moment. Could you perhaps recommend a low-cost meal for three?”
“Fer three?” The waitress raised a brow, looking between the man and women with a grin.
“Is one of you expectin’?”
Ernest’s jaw dropped and his face shifted to a hue that matched the server’s hair.
“ F-FOR OUR DOG!”
Sherl poked his head out from under the table. The waitress knelt down, pursed her lips and made a series of kissy noises.
“I’m sorry for not seein’ you down there, baby!”
She straightened up with a sudden realization.
“Ooo! If yer short on money, I’ve got a solution for those brave enuff to try!”
The woman leaned next to Kat and pointed to the corner of her menu.
“See that? That there is our challenge meal. We only serve it on once a day!”
Katrielle squinted at the print. The entree was called The Ten Gallon Gamble . The description entailed a large, juicy tomahawk steak, with a side of collard greens, mashed potatoes and macaroni. Katrielle’s eyes widened at each printed syllable. Ernest seemed to be reading along with her.
“A tomahawk steak? That’s enough to feed two people! That along with the sides could easily be divided among—“
“Among NO ONE! ZILCH! ZERO!” The waitress chided in with passionate abandon, as if the integrity of her religion was being attacked. She furiously tapped at a subtext on Ernest’s menu.
Challenge rules
1: the meal must be eaten by a single patron, sides and all. No other patrons may help to lighten the load.
2: the meal must be eaten within the hour.
3: the patron must be left with a clean plate by the end of the hour.
4: if the challenge is incompleted, the patron must pay the full price of $70 for The Ten Gallon Gamble.
If all requirements are met, all meals on the table, including The Ten Gallon Gamble, will be on the house! Happy Gambling, Pardner!
Ernest bit his lip nervously as he read this.
“All meals will be on the house?!” Katrielle gasped as she read aloud.
“ That’s perfect!”
Ernest and Sherl immediately jumped to interject.
“M-Miss! Please, think this through! That, that meal is-!”
“ HUMONGOUS!” Sherl chimed in.
“ Absurdly so!”
“I do hope you boys aren’t implying that you underestimate me.” Katrielle pouted.
“I’m an English gentlewoman, and I’m quite capable of rising to the challenge when it comes to keeping my team well-fed!”
“Sing it, sister!” The waitress put out a hand for a high five. Katrielle shook it politely. The redhead did not prod further.
Defeated, the man and dog put in their orders after Katrielle put in her large one. Ernest ordered a fairly large cut of meat suited for feeding one person, and Sherl had decided on a doggy burger-bowl. Then, they waited.
After about fifteen minutes, the waitress, along with some assisting waiters, returned with large trays full of food. The waitress, now acting more as a ringleader, turned on a large megaphone in her hands and cheered into the device.
“Hey ya’ll! Get ready! This lovely lady is braving our house challenge, The Ten Gallon Gamble! Give ‘er a round of supportive cheers!”
The crowd of patrons erupted into cheers and claps, feeding Katrielle’s ego before the food even reached her mouth. As the waiters set the large plate in front of her, Katrielle wrung her hands together greedily.
“ Easy.” She chirped.
Ernest took pause as he looked at his own portion compared to Katrielle’s and swallowed deeply. His own portion was bigger than he assumed it would be, but it was half the size of Katrielle’s portion. He worried deeply for his boss.
“Count her down, ladies and gents!” The waitress shouted as she pumped her fist in the air in unison with a few very passionate patrons.
“Five!”
“Four!”
“Three!”
“Two!”
“One!”
A bell sounded off, and Katrielle got to work cutting into her thick slab of meat, licking her lips, then digging in. A nearby clock on the wall ticked down with intensity, and Ernest couldn’t help but be impressed, almost inspired by her eagerness. He quickly got to cutting into his portions as well.
As he ate slowly, he watched Katrielle’s speed-eating method with intrigue. She was taking bites in a pattern, taking a bite of steak, a bite of greens, a bite of potato and a bite of macaroni in turns. Ernest absent-mindedly followed in her pattern with his own smaller meal, and found himself finishing within half an hour.
At his last bite, Ernest sighed and stretched his arms, feeling comfortably full. Looking over at Katrielle, he noticed that her chewing was less speedy, and she seemed to be breathing a bit heavy. She put her fork down and huffed softly, tugging at her coat sleeves a bit.
“Hot… Hot…” She murmured. Ernest shot up and helped take off her coat, sliding it off her arms and hanging it on the back of her chair. Katrielle mumbled hazily.
“You’ve done excellently thus far, Miss. You’re more than halfway done!”
Kat looked down at her plate and bit her lip, stifling a hiccup. Ernest turned to look at the waitress.
“Um…I know that no one else is allowed to eat the food, but the rules don’t say that anyone from the sidelines can’t assist in feeding the challenger, right?”
The waitress seemed surprised by this, sporting a flush that overtook her face.
“Er…Nope. Not to my knowledge.”
He nodded at this information, then took to grabbing Katrielle’s knife and fork from her and cutting the steak himself.
“Pinstripes?” Sherl woofed in a hushed tone from under the rocking table, standing over his own finished bowl.
“Are you… Planning to feed her by hand?!”
“W-Well, she needs help, does she not? I don’t mind.”
Katrielle watched Ernest organizing the cuts of food with an unidentifiable expression, one that made him take pause.
“Miss, if you feel sick at all, I’m sure we can find some way to pay them back within a few hours if you need to sto-“
Katrielle quickly leaned forward and bit a mouthful of macaroni off of the utensil in Ernest’s hand, then nodded with determination as she chewed. This sudden burst of energy was accompanied with a sparkle in her eye that Ernest perceived as eagerness. Perhaps she just needed a bit of encouragement.
Twenty-five minutes on the clock, and the meal was steadily picked off bit by bit. Sherl felt a sort of secondhand embarrassment as he watched the two humans make their weirdly affectionate hand feeding the subject of every patron’s attention. Occasionally, Katrielle would pause and cover her mouth to swallow a large bite, and Ernest softly consoled and encouraged her.
Five minutes on the clock, and Katrielle’s chewing was slowed to a crawl once again. She covered her mouth and curled back into her chair, and Ernest tensed and put a hand on her shoulder.
“Miss? Are you alright?”
No answer. Oh dear, had he pushed her too far? He leaned in with a worried expression.
“Ah…You poor girl! I’m so very sorry. Let me talk to the waitress and we’ll get this whole thing settled—“
Katrielle perked up and let out a soft yip that startled Ernest, only for him to realize it was a hiccup. Before he knew it, she lunged forward, grabbed the last few cuts of meat with her fingers, and shoved them into her mouth. Ernest watched this in shock, before shooting up to his feet and cheering.
“ SHE’S FINISHED! ”
The overly-interested crowd went wild. The waitress jumped for joy and grabbed Katrielle’s arm, raising her up out of her chair and declaring her the winner of that night’s Ten Gallon Gamble. Katrielle’s knees buckled and Ernest held her steady by the hips. A couple of employees rushed out with cameras, snapping photos of the trio while handing Katrielle a free t-shirt and pin. She smiled and acknowledged them, but Ernest and Sherl could tell that she was half asleep by this point, just happy to know they didn’t have to pay for that meal. Soon, they were waved off as they exited the steak house, and Katrielle slumped more and more of her weight onto Ernest.
“Mm, Ernest…”
Ernest hummed fondly in response, putting Katrielle’s arms over his shoulders and supportively hugging her torso as she flopped head first onto his chest.
“Yes, Miss?”
“T-There were… hic! There were three pieces left on that plate when I grabbed them the last time.”
“Mmhm?”
“There were only two when I went for them again.”
Ernest exchanged glances with Sherl, who licked his lips.
“I must say, it was a step up from the usual scraps I get.”
Ernest chuckled softly and patted the top of Katrielle’s sleepy head.
“Well, for all intents and purposes, you won fair and square.”
Katrielle didn’t stay awake long enough to be comforted with that last part, fully slumping against her assistant in a deep sleep. She snored quietly, and Ernest scooped her into his arms with some effort.
“Come now, Sherl. I’m sure that motel is nearby.”