Chapter Text
“ No stars. Pity, I hoped there'd be stars…” The Doctor mumbled.
Staring up at the artificial sky as smoke rose up around him hurt his hearts. He'd given his all for over a billion years, saved thousands of planets from annihilation, restarted the universe, stopped the Time War, and all he got was a solitary death. But, at the same time, it felt justified. Even with the countless lives he'd saved, millions had died because of him. Several of them being his own friends and family… This was the universe getting justice on a madman wreaking havoc on time and space.
The Doctor turned his head to the side, seeing one of his weathered hands trembling. But he wasn't regenerating.
“I guess that cyberman was a good shot, or it was the explosions. Probably the explosions.” The Doctor made idle chatter, hoping it would ease the pain of being alone. “River would probably be scolding me right now. She wouldn't have agreed to this trip in the first place. Or was that someone else…? I- I can't remember.”
The silence of the scorched battlefield set in. His plan had worked, but at the cost of his own life and-
“Bill!” The Doctor gasped, trying to muster the energy to yell. But he couldn't take in enough air.
Bill was right. This was the stupidest idea I've ever had. I knew something would go wrong, but not like this.
In the distance, he heard uneven mechanical footsteps. His vision started going fuzzy and he saw brief hallucinations. It must be a figment of his dying imagination, he thought. But the metal clunking didn't stop. It got closer, louder.
He struggled to turn his head towards the sound. But he was glad he did. A lone Mondasian cyberman limped towards him and collapsed to its knees.
“ D-Doc-tor… Are you a-awake?” The cyberman stuttered.
The Doctor looked up at the cyberman and saw tears running down its face shell. He didn't have enough energy to reply, but he could blink. Hopefully that was enough.
Bill took notice. She grabbed his hands, squeezing them in hopes that it would keep him awake for just a little longer.
I guess I don't have to die alone. I don't deserve you Bill, I never did.
“M-Missy! He is alive, the D-Doctor is alive!” Bill called out to no one, seeing as how Missy had abandoned them.
Bill went quiet, as if expecting the wind to respond.
As the last of his strength left him and his hearts stopped beating, he heard something that made him smile: the TARDIS wheezing.
***
Missy frantically stumbled out of one of the lifts, clutching her stomach as her hand was stained red. She clambered towards the TARDIS, sitting right where the Doctor had left it on the main deck of the ship.
“Thank you for not running off, dear.” Missy coughed.
She leaned against the doors as she searched her dress pockets for her spare TARDIS key. She fished it out and shoved it into the lock. She shut the door behind her with her sonic umbrella. She rushed to the console, dropped her umbrella and pulled one of the screens towards her.
“Come on Bill, where are you, hun?” Missy spoke to herself as she tried to track down the rebellious cyberman. “I know she stayed down on deck 507 with that idiot . Blowing himself up just to get rid of a couple hundred cybermen. What a stupid stupid man.”
The TARDIS groaned in agreement.
“This ship is too damn big for the base sensors to find her, if only he bothered to upgrade them. No offense, dear, you're lovely just the way you are!” Missy raised her voice for the TARDIS to hear.
Suddenly, a feedback noise echoed around the console room, followed by a robotic voice. “ M-Missy! He is alive, the D-Doctor is alive! ”
“There you are!” Missy smiled to herself. This time, it was her turn to save the day.
Is that what I do now? I save people? Ew, that sounds weird. Shut up, just get down there!
She flipped several switches and levers, honing in on Bill's position so she could teleport safely. She knew the TARDIS wouldn't like the harsh time dilation, but she couldn't care less right now. Once she locked on to Bill's location, she pulled down the time rotor. The cogs of gallifreyan symbols spun above her head as the time machine roared to life. She leaned against the console since her legs were weak.
“Damn these old knees.” Missy groaned in pain. “Please don't let this be the thing that makes me regenerate, that would be mortifying…”
***
The wheezing ceased and she flinched as the TARDIS landed. She hurried to the doors and threw them open.
“Grab the Doctor and get in or else I'm leaving without you.” Missy announced.
Bill obliged, scooping the Doctor's limp body into her mechanical arms.
“ M-Missy-”
“Get a move on!”
Bill listened, hobbling into the TARDIS.
“ Missy, it is too late.”
“What are you on about? I came as quickly as possible. I didn't stop to monologue about my escape plan either.” Missy snapped her fingers, the doors closing as she did so.
“ The Doctor st-stopped breathing a few minutes after I found h-him . That was several days ago. ”
Missy couldn't believe it. No- she wouldn't believe it. She walked up to Bill and grasped the Doctor's cold hand. No pulses. And he hadn't regenerated.
“No… No! I'm not going to be your replacement!” Missy shouted at the Doctor's lifeless body. “Put him down. I might have a trick up my sleeve.”
Bill had no clue what she was planning, but she listened anyway, carefully placing the Doctor's body on the metal floor.
“What are you going to do?”
“I'm gonna try to give him a bit of gas, see if I can warm up his engine or whatever you silly humans say.”
“ Nobody says that. ”
“Shut up.”
Missy rubbed her hands together, her muscles straining as golden regeneration energy covered them. “You better fuckin thank me if this works.” Missy growled at the corpse.
She placed both hands over his hearts and gave her energy to him. She put in as much as she could until she felt faint.
“ What did you do to him?”
Missy took her hands off his chest, shaking away the last specks of energy from her hands. “I gave him a bit of my regeneration energy. Well- more than a bit. I might lose an arm or a leg down the line, but that's future me’s problem. Find him someplace comfortable, preferably a bed.”
“ Since when do you care about the Doctor's comfort?”
“Since now, go put him someplace comfy. I'm going to track down the egg and this place is going to become a full house.”
While Missy tried her best to triangulate Nardole’s position, Bill carried the Doctor down the hallway to his bedroom.
***
Three weeks had passed. To Missy and Bill, it only felt like minutes had gone by. Much to her displeasure, she did what the Doctor would have done, she went back for Nardole and the remaining Modas colonists. When she had landed on the deck above, Nardole had gone on the defensive, assuming that Missy had stolen the Tardis and left The Doctor behind. But once he spotted Bill standing beside Missy, he gave the timelady a chance.
Filling up the TARDIS had taken about 3 hours since people were hesitant to trust Missy. Children were too scared to go near her, but the crowd trusted Bill. Bill and Nardole ushered people into the TARDIS while Missy stood on the sidelines. She passed the time by counting the amount of people boarding, reviewing the cyberman population hunting them down and wondering how long it would take to disassemble Bill's hardware. She hated being still. She understood that the colonists trusted Bill and Nardole more, but it irritated her.
Once everyone was on board, Missy entered the TARDIS once again.
“Ladies, gentlemen, and all other flavors of people, this is your captain speaking!” Missy snapped her fingers, closing the doors. “Considering our dire circumstances, I can not drop you off at your original destination due to the cyberman infestation. However, I can drop you off on an Earth-like planet within this system. Anyone got a suggestion?”
A few colonists offered suggestions. Missy reviewed the planets in her mind, calculating which one would be furthest away from the cybermen. She put in the coordinates and pulled down the time rotor. Within seconds, they landed near a city on an Earth-like planet. With a snap, the doors flew open.
“Come on, out you go! This is as far as I'm willing to take you.” Missy announced.
“Where are we?”
“Does it matter? It's an inhabited planet and there's breathable air here. You don't get to be picky with your destination. Out. Now.”
Other colonists protested, demanding she take them back to Mondas.
“Do you all want to get crushed into metal suits?! No? Then I'm not taking you back to Mondas. Out, now!”
Finally people listened. Her patience for dealing with humans was wearing thin and she wasn't looking to kill anyone today. People filed out, crowding the console room as they passed Missy, Bill and Nardole. Missy resisted the tempting urge to smack people who got too close to her. Finally, the TARDIS had been emptied of passengers. Missy set their destination for Earth, 2 minutes after they had left, and took off. She sat down next to a secondary control panel, slouching in her chair as she tried to regain her composure.
“So, what made you have a change of heart?” Nardole spoke up.
Missy lifted her head, glaring at the android. “I didn't have a change of heart. I was just working in the old man's place since he's not here to monologue and look important.”
“You don’t do stuff like that though. You like interfering with the Doctor's plans. You don't save people just because the Doctor would-”
“Leave her alone, Nardole. She saved the colonists. She saved you, me and the Doctor. Or at least collected his body. ”
“I'm with the cyberman.” Missy added.
“Don't tell me you trust her now?” Nardole asked Bill.
“She did not have to save us. She could have left immediately. But she chose to help us.”
Nardole facepalmed. “ She is a mass murderer! And now you're going to put all your faith in her just because she did one good thing?”
“What choice do we have? The Doctor is gone. Missy knows how to fly the TARDIS and from what the Doctor said, she is just as smart as him, if not more. I would rather her be in his place than no one. ”
“Could you two stop shouting and think for five seconds?” Missy interrupted. “We have more pressing matters to deal with than who's going to replace that bag of bones. Like you, Bill. You can't exactly go back to your old life inside that tin can. I don't think UNIT would be comfortable with a cyberman working at a university.”
“Then what am I supposed to do? ”
“Not you, me . I might be able to fix you.”
“ How?”
“Just trust me, dear. The important parts of your body should be untouched, but you might need new limbs. I can get all that metal off in the workshop, come on.”
“If you're going to be modifying Bill then I'm gonna be watching like a hawk. I won't let you hurt her anymore than the other you already did.” Nardole protested.
“Fine, come along, baldy.” Missy sighed.
***
The Doctor’s hearts began beating again. Regeneration energy emanated from his hands and head. With no resistance, his back arched and he began regenerating. The blast of energy lit up the room, scorching his bed and knocking pictures off the walls. His eyes snapped open, fully awake and alert. He refused to be someone else. He couldn't let someone else take over his body and mind, not again…
The Doctor sat up in a split second, gasping for air as he tried to stop his regeneration through sheer will. “Sontarans perverting the course of human history!” He paused, desperately trying to catch his breath. He stared at his hands, the terror of changing again hit him seeing regeneration energy pouring from his fingers. He violently jerked his head to the side, gasping from the pain. “I don’t want to go…” He clumsily crawled out of bed, falling onto the cold metal floor. He pulled himself up using one of the bed posts to support his weight. He used the walls and furniture to make his way to the door, trying to get to the console room. His head jerked again, twitching as he fought his own body. “I will always r-remember when the Doctor was… me.” He slapped the button to open the door, stumbling through the doorway. “When the Doctor was me …”
The Doctor hobbled down the hallway, clinging to the wall so he wouldn’t collapse. He had no clue how he’d gotten to the TARDIS, his memory was failing him as his body began to rebuild itself. An image of a damaged mondasian cyberman appeared in his mind as he searched through his recent memories… “BILL! Where are you!? Are you okay?”
He kept pushing, stumbling as he made his way to the console room. He clung to the guardrails of the stairs as he pulled himself up to the console. He looked at one of the screens. They were spinning into the time vortex, headed back to Earth, 2 minutes after they'd left.
“Who set this destination? Bill doesn't know how to fly you…”
The TARDIS groaned, lights flashing all around the console room as another screen slid in front of him. It showed how many lifeforms were on board and what kind. 3 humanoids, 1 non-organic lifeform. He broke it down to more specific details: 1 android, 2 timelords, and 1 human.
“Did you rescue them?” The Doctor asked, hoping the time machine would answer.
The TARDIS wheezed in a low pitch - in other words, no.
“So Missy came back for us… Being so close to her past self must’ve interfered with her mind, overriding her conscious decisions to cooperate in favor of whatever he wanted. Hopefully her mind is actually clear this time.” He was abruptly pulled back to reality from the pain of regenerating, his resistance prolonging the process. “Right- almost forgot I was dying.” He laughed weakly, leaning against the console for support.
***
Bill heard the Doctor call out to her from down the hall. “ Wait! He is awake, we need to help him.”
Missy and Nardole turned towards where the shout had come from.
“He doesn’t need help, he can regenerate on his own. Now can we get to the workshop to get you out of your metal shell?” Missy gritted her teeth, trying her hardest to be polite.
Nardole sided with Bill, leaving Missy’s side to run after the Doctor. “That idiot is probably going to try flying the TARDIS while exploding!”
Missy groaned as they went after the Doctor. “One of you isn’t even human and you still get distracted by sentimental nonsense…” She followed them anyway.
The TARDIS was making a cacophony of noises as they entered the console room. Control panels were sparking from damage, a few parts of the console were on fire and red lights circled around the room. There they saw the Doctor bursting with regeneration energy. Among all the noise, they heard the Doctor’s voice cut through it.
“NO! I am n-not changing again! Not this t-time!”
Bill looked to Missy for help since she actually understood how regeneration worked. “ Help him! Do something.”
“What do you expect me to do!? Sonic his regeneration away?” Missy replied.
The Doctor fought as hard as he could, resisting the change as much as possible, but his concentration slipped when he heard Bill and Missy behind him.
“Stop fighting it you moron!” Missy shouted at the Doctor.
Once his concentration slipped, his regeneration shocked him as his new body formed. He collapsed to the ground, hitting the floor with a loud thud.
But they noticed something strange, he'd barely changed. The only change they could see at the moment was his hair now went down past his shoulders, but he retained his silver curls.
Nardole went over to him and Bill stepped closer. Nardole hesitantly touched his arm, hoping he hadn't passed out.
The Doctor gasped again, jolting awake. He sat up, facing his confused passengers.
“I don’t feel any different-” The Doctor said, trailing off as he heard his own voice. He sounded noticeably softer but just as low, still Scottish as well.
“Oh, now we’re copying each other, are we?” Missy said exasperatedly.
“What are you talking about?”
“Look in a mirror, Sir- Er- Ma’am?” Nardole spoke up.
The Doctor glared at Nardole, assuming the android was mocking him. He stood up on shaky legs, just as long as before, and looked at the screen. It had switched to a front facing camera feed, showing him exactly what he looked like. His eyes opened wide with shock.
“Seems like you wished with the monkey’s paw dear.” Missy said next to him. “I will say though, you look gorgeous with long hair. Just run a brush through it and get some new clothes and you’ll look shiny and new.”
He stared at his reflection, analyzing all the details.
Still have the attack eyebrows, good. Face is a bit rounder, don’t know how to feel about that. A little less wrinkled but I don’t look any younger. Wait- why is my shirt tight? Oh.
Missy noticed his look of realization and a smug grin formed on her lips. “Welcome to the sisterhood, Doctor.”
He looked down at his hands and noticed they looked thinner than before, still just as weathered, but delicate, more like Missy’s hands.
“Any disorientation or sickness, Sir? Or would you rather I start saying Ma’am?”
“Sir is fine. And no, I feel… perfectly fine. Not sure how to feel about my voice though, that’ll take some time to adjust to.”
The TARDIS suddenly settled down, having reached their destination.
The Doctor looked at the doors and back at Bill. She couldn’t go back to her life like this… He had to make it up to her, fix his mistakes. He hesitantly let go of the console and approached the cyberman, wrapping his arms around her.
“We’ll fix you, Bill. I promise…”
“ Thank you, Doctor. ” Bill raised her arms and hugged him back.
***
The Doctor was starting to feel the effects of regeneration sickness, so he sat to the side while Missy disassembled Bill's cyberman components. He gave Missy tips on how to avoid hurting Bill since Missy wasn't being delicate. While Missy was barely fazed by the Doctor's semi-new form, Nardole was dumbfounded.
“How long were you going to wait to tell me that partial regeneration is a thing?” Nardole asked.
“I didn't know this was even possible until today. And I don't know why it even happened. I could've sworn I was truly gone, but something brought me back…” The Doctor looked towards Missy.
“There go the eyebrows. You think she had something to do with it, don't you?” Nardole asked.
“She's the only other timelord this side of the universe, of course I think she had something to do with it.”
“The real question is, is she responsible for reviving you and the whole woman thing or is the woman thing separate?”
“Shut it.”
“Someone doesn't seem very secure in their new body.” Nardole mumbled.
“I'm perfectly secure in my body, I just don't like that you keep bringing it up. Now hush.”
Meanwhile, Missy finally cut the shell off of Bill's head, severing her from the cyberman network. She tapped Bill's cheek to get her attention.
“Wakey wakey.”
Bill opened her eyes, looking around the workshop with her own eyes for the first time in what felt like months.
“You're gonna have some nasty scars on either side of your head but I'm sure your hair will cover those up.” Missy said as she continued taking apart the suit.
“Can I- That's my voice. That's my real voice!” Bill spoke without the robotic filter.
The Doctor smiled at her, the creases around his eyes defining his smile.
Bill met the Doctor's eyes, seeing him smile with a slightly different face was odd but comforting. She also noticed his eyes were glossy with tears, but he didn't cry.
“Doctor, you okay?” Bill asked.
“Perfectly fine now that I can see you.”
Bill looked surprised by how forward he was, or she. She wasn’t totally sure which pronouns she was supposed to use for the Doctor now but she’d figure that out later.
Missy was getting frustrated with the suit, accidentally ripping out components that were attached to Bill’s skin. Bill yelped from pain, causing the Doctor to jump from his seat.
“Stop! Leave her be, I’ll take over.” The Doctor told Missy.
Missy huffed with annoyance. “I built these damn things, I know them better than you.”
The Doctor glared at her, but it didn’t seem to have the same effect.
“You may know the construction better, but I know how to disassemble it without hurting her.” The Doctor retorted.
He stepped past Missy and took over, using a micro laser setting on his sonic screwdriver to cut off the metal around her limbs, leaving the chest for last since it had the most vital parts. He cut off the arm shells, thankful to see that her arms hadn't been chopped.
“Can you try moving your arms for me?”
Bill’s hands twitched, her fried nerves beginning to work again. Eventually she bent her right arm, stretching it out her shoulders as she regained her strength.
“Good, your muscles and nerves aren’t too badly damaged. Now, let's see what happened to your legs.”
Bill carefully stepped over to the chair the Doctor had been sitting in before.
The Doctor looked into her eyes, silently asking if it was okay for him to work on her legs.
Bill nodded.
He smiled and began cutting down the sides of her legs, opening the casing. As he feared, they’d completely altered her legs. The only organic part of her lower body that remained was her pelvis according to his sonic screwdriver.
“So? What’s the report?” Bill asked hesitantly.
The Doctor pondered how to tell it to her gently. He imagined Clara leaning over his shoulder, tapping her foot while she waited to hear what he had to say.
Clara… I- I remember Clara. The confession dial, Gallifrey, the Hybrid… How many seconds in eternity? Stay focused!
“Do you remember what I said about cybermen specifically going after children?” The Doctor asked.
Bill raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah..? What does that have to do with- oh. ”
“They must've thought your legs were defective and completely replaced them.” The Doctor stated plainly.
He stood up, groaning as he did so.
“All of that regenerating and you still make old man noises.” Bill commented.
“I do not!”
“You just did, Sir.” Nardole added.
The Doctor sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Anyways, I'll head to the console and give the TARDIS schematics for making you new legs.”
“Wait, you can do that?” Bill asked.
“Of course she can do that! The TARDIS is one of the most advanced machines in the universe, of course it can make a few prosthetic legs. Be back in a moment, stay there.”
As he left the room, Missy followed for reasons unbeknownst to Bill.
Nardole pulled up a chair next to Bill and sat down. “So… I know this is the first time you’ve ever seen the Doctor regenerate. From what my old boss told me, the usual response he gets is shock and weariness. But you seem pretty comfortable with it, why?”
Bill mulled over her thoughts. “From what he’s told me, when timelords regenerate their whole personality and body changes. Yeah, he's a woman now, but it's still him. He’s still the Doctor.”
“I suppose that's fair. But what I don’t get is how this happened. He should’ve completely regenerated, but he's still the same. Yeah, he's stumbling a bit and he nearly fainted walking down here, but nothing about his brain has changed. You saw how different Missy is from her past regeneration, so why is he the same?” Nardole wondered.
“From the way Missy was yelling at him, he must’ve been resisting the whole time. Maybe Missy’s energy and him fighting it caused him to stay the same but rebuild his body?”
“Missy’s what? She gave him her regeneration energy?” Nardole looked stunned. “That’s the most generous thing she's ever done, ever. ”
“I guess she felt guilty.” Bill assumed.
Nardole laughed. “Missy and ‘felt guilty’ do not belong in the same sentence.”
“But what if she did? I know that the man that made me- like this,” Bill gestured to the life support apparatus bonded to her chest and her metal legs, “Is who Missy used to be, and he just did this to spite the Doctor. But I won’t hold it against her. She wasn’t the one that did this to me.” Bill didn’t seem totally confident in her statements.
***
The Doctor had given the TARDIS instructions for manufacturing new legs for Bill, making sure they would bring her back to her normal height. Now, all he had to do was wait. He leaned against the console, slowly raising his hand to touch his own face again. He stared at one of the screens, looking at his faint reflection.
He heard the distinct sound of heels clicking against the metal floor.
“Indulging in a bit of vanity I see.” Missy’s voice echoed. “Takes a while to get comfortable, but eventually you’ll get excited when you see your reflection. One of the many perks of being a lady.”
“I’m not admiring my reflection. I just- I’m not sure how to feel about it. All of it.”
Missy strode over to him, gently grabbing his hand and taking it away from his face. “You’re not actually bothered by your regeneration, are you?”
The Doctor shook his head no.
“Then what's on your mind?”
The Doctor was hesitant to speak. After backstabbing him multiple times, he wasn’t sure if he should be honest with her. “When you walked away from me just before the cybermen were about to attack, I thought all our time had gone to waste. That all our conversations meant nothing.” The Doctor took a deep breath to stop his voice from cracking. “Tell me, what did you do to him? I know he wouldn’t have just let you run off to help me. Judging by the bloodstains on your dress, he didn’t go without a fight.”
Missy looked away from him. She fidgeted with her hands, inspecting her scuffed nail polish. “What do you think I did? Gave him a hug, a kiss and sent him on his way? No, I killed him. He’s probably regenerating as we speak. Obviously he didn’t want to go out alone, so he ripped my hidden blade off my arm and jabbed me in the stomach.”
The Doctor glanced down, looking at the torn part of her dress. He noticed a bloody bandage just past the deep purple fabric. He looked at Missy up and down, noticing quite a few rips in her dress and bruises on her hands and neck. “Looks like he did far more than just that.”
“Oh, you finally noticed? You should’ve seen what he looked like by the end of it, completely disheveled and crawling his way to the lift to escape.” Missy looked chuffed with herself, despite how morbid it was that she had nearly beaten herself to death.
“Well, I’m glad you’re okay. We wouldn’t be chatting if you hadn’t fought back.” The Doctor replied.
Missy looked up at him, eyes wide with shock.
“What? Did I say something wrong?”
“No, you idiot. I just- I never thought I’d hear you say that again.”
The Doctor smiled at her, the creases around his eyes made him look like he'd never regenerated at all.
Just then, the both of them turned to face each other and seemed ready for a hug but hesitated.
“Which one is going first?” Missy asked with a sad smile.
The Doctor bent down and wrapped his arms around Missy.
Missy stretched up to hug him properly, holding him tightly. Randomly, she flicked a nail against the back of his head.
“What was that for?”
“For not shrinking. Why the hell do you get to be so tall anyways?”
“Not sure. I guess I've been on a lucky streak.”
“Lucky streak my ass, you're cheating.” Missy mumbled into his shoulder.
The Doctor chuckled. His thoughts slowed down, allowing him to actually think properly. It finally dawned on him how close he'd been to losing everything, how close he'd been to dying without peace… He held Missy tighter, fearing that if he let go that she would disappear and he'd be back on the colony ship dying under a starless sky. He waited for something, for Missy to stab him, make a quip, or complain about his ragged ill-fitting clothes. But she stayed quiet. It seemed like she was afraid of ruining the moment too.
The TARDIS suddenly groaned, lights flashing around the room.
The Doctor let go and so did Missy. He checked the screen and saw that Bill’s prosthetics were complete.
“Time to see if these will work for her.”
***
After hours of adjusting prosthetics and testing her new artificial heart, Bill finally stepped out of the TARDIS. She looked around her flat with her own eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks as she took her first steps.
“I promise I'll stop by to check on you tomorrow. Call me if you have any chest pain or if you have leg problems.” The Doctor said.
Bill turned around to look him in the eyes.
“Thank you for bringing me home, Doctor… C- Can I talk to Missy for a moment?”
The Doctor looked confused but he obliged, turning around to go fetch Missy.
He returned with the mad timelady in tow.
“What is it?” Missy asked.
“I wasn't sure if you were trying to trick me when you called after leaving us. But, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.” Bill took a deep breath, trying to stay composed. “Thank you for saving me…”
Missy looked surprised but appreciative. “You humans are strange creatures, but if the Doctor likes you, then I like you. Most of the time that is.” Missy paused, searching for some comment to send Bill away. But she made the mistake of looking Bill in the eyes.
Bill had lived through 10 years of isolation with a barely functional heart. Her life had been ruined because Missy’s past self wanted to get petty revenge on the Doctor and she'd been tormented for trying to retain her personality against the cyberiad hivemind. Bill couldn't go back to her normal life after this, not with all that pain. Missy clenched her fists.
His damn compassion must be contagious… She doesn't need any help. She'll adapt. I've been through hell and no one ever helped me. But- she doesn't need to live with all of that. Humans don't have as much control over their memories as timelords, she can't possibly suppress that.
Bill took Missy’s silence as her cue to leave, turning away to head to her bedroom.
She felt a hand clamp around her wrist.
“Before you head to bed, I'd like to propose something. Whether or not you want it is up to you.”
Bill looked back at Missy with immense confusion, wiping her tears away with her sleeve.
“I could wipe those memories away. Get rid of those 10 years you spent waiting in that hospital. You could live free of all that weight, if you want to.” Missy offered.
The Doctor and Bill looked stunned. Nardole overheard and rushed to the Doctor’s side.
“Don't just stand there with your mouth hanging open, give me an answer.”
“Bill, I’m not going to force you to do something, but you should not trust her. Yeah, she saved us, but she could have ulterior motives. Don’t let her into your head, she could lobotomize you in a second and you wouldn’t even know what happened-”
Missy whipped around to face the android. “Listen here egghead, my patience is wearing dangerously thin today. I’m trying my best to make up for my inferior predecessor by making Bill’s life less miserable. Now, if you don’t stop whining, I might just take all of Bill’s pain and shove it into that shiny head of yours. Interested?”
Nardole tried to look stern but fell apart under Missy’s gaze. She turned her attention back to Bill.
Bill didn't take long to find her answer.
“Yes. Please, get rid of it. I don't want to live with all of that on my mind.”
Missy lifted up her hands, holding them only an inch away from Bill's temples. “May I come in?”
Bill nodded, not caring what she could do inside her head. She had been through worse than whatever else Missy might have in mind.
Missy did as she promised, removing 10 years worth of memories in between their arrival and departure. She was quick about it, not wanting to spend any longer in the head of a “nanobrain”. She took her hands away abruptly, ending the connection.
Bill nearly collapsed, leaning against the wall for balance.
Nardole squeezed past the Doctor to help Bill, putting an arm around her as she guided her to bed.
“Missy, please tell me you only removed the memories she asked to get rid of.” The Doctor whispered so Bill couldn't hear.
“Of course I did. None of her other memories interested me.” Missy replied casually.
The Doctor looked at her with a heavy dose of skepticism. “I'll be the judge of that tomorrow.”
The Doctor moved aside as Missy stepped back inside the TARDIS. She closed the door as she stepped in, running her fingers over the worn wooden doors.
“You know, your thoughts are very loud.” Missy commented.
The Doctor raised an eyebrow at her.
“Oh come on! You didn't notice I was in your head earlier? When we had that little hug I got a little peek inside your head. Your brain is like a crock pot of bad ideas, memories, random humans and half-remembered songs. But one thing was very loud in your head.”
“What did you hear..?” The Doctor asked hesitantly.
“I heard your favorite word. Clara .”
“I suppose regenerating brought back some memories.”
“Oh, it didn't bring back just some, it brought back everything . Aside from Bill, she's all over your brain right now.”
The Doctor looked away, not wanting to talk about Clara right now. He walked past the console, ready to get some new, better fitting clothes.
“Awww… Is the big bad timelord afraid to talk about his dead girlfriend?”
“There's the Missy I know…” The Doctor mumbled to himself.
“I wonder what she'd think of you now that you're not her favorite old man anymore.”
The Doctor could hear her smiling wickedly as he walked away. “We are not talking about this right now.”
“Oh that's too bad. Well, I'll be sure to bring it up when we get back to the vault.” Missy replied flatly, annoyed that she wasn't getting a reaction out of him.
The Doctor went down the steps and down the hall, heading for the wardrobe. He desperately hoped he had clothes that would fit a 6 foot tall woman. He wanted to avoid a shopping trip at all costs right now.
He looked through the racks of scattered outfits. Unfortunately he couldn't find any button up shirts that would fit, but he did find a navy blue fitted turtleneck. He found his blue silk lined coat and threw it on over the turtleneck. He replaced his worn, dirty pants and looked in the mirror. He flipped open the coat, posing to see how it looked. He remembered showing off his new clothes to Clara just after regenerating. She had looked stunned, not fully accepting that he was the man she knew anymore.
What would Clara think now? Would she react the same way she did when I regenerated before? I'm still the man she knew- no. I'm still her Doctor. I like to think she'd still see me.