Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Citizens of Broomstown

11:03 pm

Lifty: Has anyone seen Camp?

dudebro: yeah

hes gettind runk at our place

Lifty: What?

dudebro: he jsut fuckin barged jn

and started chugging our beer

Lifty: Oh God…

posty: vaksifhiqkwbddhsvajkdkfnfi

Sjidland

dudebro: he’s piss drunk now

gotta go

Lifty: Fuck you guys

brutastic: You guys drinking

i’m in

po-ke: nah bro boss put u on probabtion whatever

brutastic: Then dont tell him you bicth

po-ke: bffr u cant evn spell bitch rihgt

brutastic: Hypocritical shit

maxwell: Do you guys want me to tattle on boss or

brutastic: NO

po-ke: hellno

Lifty: Why are you guys always like this?

brutastic: Don’t ask

dudebro: so guys uh

posty just threw up on me

po-ke: gross

maxwell: Why in the world are you telling us this

Aren’t you disgusted right now

dudebro: ofc i am

and to gross you out

oh shit hes swooning

Lifty: Call the Rescue team!!

brutastic: dude are you crazy

its the middle ot the nitht

they mifht kill s for callint thos late

Lifty: You need to work on your grammar…

brutastic: idc

Lifty: You’re the one to talk wisely when you yourself has no wisdom.

dudebro: no prob guys i got it all covered

no rescue team needed

maxwell: What did you do

dudebro:

i left him

po-ke: what lol

Lifty: What?!

Aren’t you even the slightest bit concerned?

dudebro: i am

i left him at his house

Lifty: Thank God.

By the way, what happened to Camp?

dudebro: idk

he went home ig

Lifty: Huh? Don’t tell me he just fucked off to his trailer.

posty: guyszn

theres monster in my fuckigbsl houshsdh

brutastic: tf

you oksy bro

posty: noooi

dudebro: fucking hell

i’m coming there

Lifty: I hate all of you.

po-ke: (2)

maxwell: Downers

1:56 am

Spookyman: boo bitch i just can’t stop

8:34 am

cleanfreak: Spooky what in heavens were you doing

Spookyman: i was bored

there was nothing to do

cleanfreak: [replied to a message] What happened last night

dudebro: a lot

Spookyman: specific details man

dudebro: nah

suffer

Spookyman: kill yourself

dudebro: 🫶

Camp: Posty got too drunk threw up on Cap I left then Cap and Posty did stuff in Posty’s house

dudebro: dude wtf

Spookyman: what stuff? 😏

dudebro: nothing

Spookyman: oh really? 🤔🫣

dudebro: shut your pie hole

you too camp for someone who just barges in a drinking session

Camp: I’m just giving my insight, I am smart after all

dudebro: youre bitchass aint smart lol

Camp: I beg to differ

cleanfreak: Lifty has smarter typings than you

Camp: I taught him

Did you know how he used to type

Like a fucking monkey in roadkill

Lifty: Hey! My old typings weren’t that bad.

Camp: It is

Lifty: I have to go to work now.

Camp: Lol

Lifty: Fuck off.

9:00 am

dumpster: You guys have you seen Poke and Bruner?

They’re running late and boss is pissed

Camp: Dude I don’t know

Oh wait

Poke just past by the harbor lol

dumpster: Is he blind as well

The site isn’t past the fucking harbor

Camp: Maybe

posty: i want to fuking diehshdjs

i regret everything last fucking night

dudebro: as you should you bjtich

for throwing up on me

posty: lol you can’t spell bitch

dudebro: bitch

posty: fuck

12: 10 pm

i like kids: Guys?

who changed my user

cleanfreak: @Spookyman

Spookyman: fuck you cleany didn’t have to out me liekt hat

but its true

i like kids: Are you an idiot

my job involves kids

but it doesn't mean I like them in that way

stupid

cleanfreak: Who taught Schoolb how to talk back

Spookyman: idk man

cleanfreak: I’m gonna go do my job

Spookyman: i don’t have a job

i like kids: Let me just…

SchoolB: There

Spookyman: i liked the other one better

SchoolB: I hate you

2:33 pm

po-ke: GUYSGUYSGUYSGUYS

THE MOST CRAZIEST THING JUST FUKJN HAPPENED

Lifty: Huh?

posty: spill or i’ll spill your guts

maxwell: Poke pls don’t tell them

po-ke: nah

anyways

maxwell: We’re toast

po-ke: BRUNER FUCKJN YEETED HIMSELF OFF THE CONSTRUCTION SHDHDJDHD

and we called the rescue team and tehy were like

fuck you guys were goin home

and bruners bin stuck since forever HSHDHDJS

boss is gonna coem any fuckin moment

maxwell: Like I said, we’re toast

Lifty: What? Why did they act like that? Don’t they have empathy?

posty: youve gotta hand it to them

they’re probably tired of our bullshit lol

maxwell: And Bruner’s annoying as shit

po-ke: fuckin exactly

now i gotta go i havent scooped shti yet

maxwell: me too

Lifty: Normalise texting on your break time guys. ☺️

Camp: Bffr Lifty you’re just sitting on your ass while Terry and I do your fucking work

Lifty: Or not…

posty: i’m on break so i don’t count

8:09 pm

brutastic: i’m thsnkiny schhpb anf only shxollb for svbaing me

dudebro: what the fuck did you just say

brutastic: schoolb saved me whsle you gusvhad your thumb up yur asses

po-ke: u were a bitch up there who ws gunna save u

SchoolB: I had to

The kids were cheering

po-ke: you shouldve left him

Spookyman: *weird, laughable picture of poli*

poli????

brutastic: TF

po-ke: comedy fuckjng gold

Camp: [replied to a message] I opened my phone for the first time in hours and this is what I see?

Someone send this to him

brutastic: i thought we were talking about my suffering ont hat thee

po-ke: no one gibes a shit

anyways

im sending this

Spookyman: you might die man

po-ke: nah

maxwell: Rest in peace, Poke

You will be missed

Chapter Text

Quadruplets

12:09 am

Cap: dude

i have something to say

Cleany: It’s literally the middle of the night

I have no time for your shower thoughts

Spooky: what is it

Posty: yea man

Cap: I

am not a real human

Cleany:

What

Spooky: are you stupid or sum

you have arms

legs

a fuckjing brain

Posty: debatable on the brain part

Cap: no

like

sometimes i shut down

like the whole world disappears

Cleany: That’s just sleeping

Cap: yes but

more robotic

Posty: stfu you woke up everyone for some stupid ass thought

Spooky: lol

Cap: i need to find new friends

who apprieciate my thoughts

Posty: bro no one else wants to be friends with you except hs

Cap: fuck you

Citizens of Broomstown

8:19 am

cleanfreak: @everyone have y’all seen Cap?

Lifty: No.

Camp: Nah

Now if you excuse us we’ll be going back to work

po-ke: hes wit us lol

hes sulking

cleanfreak: What

Why

po-ke: u guys didnt liek his thoughts or sum

cleanfreak: Oh

posty: dude he deals with that shit everyday

hes only crying to yall now

cleanfreak: We should go to him

dudebro: nah

i hate you guys

posty: drop it you fucking dumpling

dudebro: kys

posty: 🖕

po-ke: this is so fukjin petty

i love it

dumpster: You guys can’t stay like this forever

You need to settle your issue quick

maxwell: Yea

I don’t wanna deal with a whiny shit

dudebro: i feel offended

po-ke: bcuz u are LOL

2:33 pm

Lifty: Has anyone ever heard of Desert Rescue team?

Like, in the desert?

Camp: Hell yeah

They and the rescue team saved me from dying

Lifty: Really?

po-ke: man fcuk this shi

why can’t i get to do the copl shit

Camp: Travel around the world

po-ke: nah

dudebro: @posty DUDE IM SORRY

Lifty: What?

dudebro: help me apologize

Lifty: I thought you were mad at them.

dudebro: we made up

but now i gotta aologize

help

Camp: You guys make up so fast

That’s amazing

Then you fuck it up again

po-ke: sucks to b u

dudebro: stfu

brutastic: hey guys

Posty’s dying inside

dudebro: TELL HIM TO LOG IN

brutastic: surewhynot

posty: LOL

LOL

LOL

LOL

dudebro:

what.

posty: you REALLY thought i would get angy over a fuckjin muffin

dudebro: man fuck you

posty: ilyt

why were you so convinced

dudebro: idk

brutastic: go home man

posty: nah

Lifty: 😭

dumpster: Bruner get back to work

your ass doesn’t need anymore wiping

brutastic: fine

Mr. Builder’s Delegates

5:44 pm

Builder: @everyone All of you.

Log in.

Max: Aye aye

Bruner: what is it

Poke: hi lol

Dump: Announcement?

Mickey: Whats the trouble

Max: Mickey logged in for the first time 😱

Poke: welcome back

Builder: This is NO time for funny business.

Bruner: oh shit hes angry

Builder: I…

am…

VERY impressed with the work we did today!

Poke:

wyat

Bruner: you were gonna fucjihnb scare me, old mab

Builder: Language.

Bruner: awh

Dump: Thank you, boss

Max: Man i thought we wre screwed

Poke: like brusnr yesterhday hdhdhdusif

Builder: What?

Dump: Dude why did you remind him thst

Mickey: I hate all of you

Bye

Mickey has left the chat

Bruner: man fuck you tou

poke

Builder: LANGUAGE.

Max: move your discussion tot he other gc man

Builder: I wish to see the same work tomorrow.

Dump: Sir yes sir

Citizens of Broomstown

5:50 pm

SchoolB: Guys

Imagine getting flamed on by a child

Spookyman: SHUT UP

Lifty: What happened?

SchoolB: So

Spookyman kicked SchoolB

Lifty: Dude!

Uncool.

Lifty added SchoolB

Spookyman: don’t you dare

SchoolB: I love ypu sm

Anyways

Spooky was carrying one of myp kids

Then he said “damn you’re gonna break my back”

Then the kid said

Spookyman: THE KID SAID NOTHING

cleanfreak: I bet your boyfriend does that every night

Lifty: No way! 😨

Spookyman: fuck all of you

cleanfreak: you’re acting like ypu have a boyfriend

when in fact

you don’t

SchoolB: Do you

Spookyman: NO

SchoolB: Then stop acting all fussy man 😆

Spookyman: no

im gonna kill all of you rn

Lifty: Woah! What?

I didn’t partake in this kerfuffle!

Spookyman: i ddint understand shit

Lifty: Just…

I didn’t do anything!

Spookyman: well ypure still in thsi convo so

cleanfreak: Don’t worry guys

I’m keeping Apooky in control

SchoolB: How did you get there so fadf

cleanfreak: His house is literally blocks next to mine

SchoolB: Oh

posty: tf did i miss

cleanfreak: Backread

Mr. Builder’s Delegates

9:11 pm

Max: Guys

What do you do if you accidentally kill smomene

Poke: hwat fhe fuck

Dump: Isn’t this the WRONG chat to ne talking about this?

Bruner: shut up dump

i wanna h heat the story

Poke: you wanna heat the story lmao?

Bruner: hear th story you bitchass mf

Poke: man fuckbyou

Dump: Boss is here guys

Max: Uhhh

So

He won’t be able to respond

Bruner: what

Max: Because

I

kinda

sorta

killed him

Dump: What?!

Bruner: THE FUTK

now that’s awesome

Dump: DUDE

HE KUST FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE

Max: I didn’t mean it

I was jus helping him do something

And

He collasped

Dump: SHIT

Poke: hey giys so im here with max

boss had a stroke

Bruner: WHAT THE FUFKCJKSBDJD

Dump: CALL THE RESCUE TEAM

Poke: will do

Chapter Text

So called rescue team

9:22 pm

hell: BTICH

manonfire: What

hell: mr builder had a storke

manonfire: Why would he have a stork? 🤔

Broomstown is not fit for that kind of weather

hell: a STROKE

manonfire: Oh

hell: poli and amber going there rn

manonfire: Huh

Why not me😞

hell: idk dude

you were busy

oh wait

manonfire: Why

hell: you are jealous

manonfire: NO

Just confused 😔

Why did Amber go with Poli instead of me? 😔

She could’ve asked me

hell: they wrre rushing man

JIN: what r you two rambling abt

hell: roy jealousy

manonfire: No 😆

JIN: cut d bullshit roy we all know u hv jealousy issues

manonfire: Shut up

hell: can’t youvaay

fuvk

fuck

manonfire: That is not Amber’s desired man 😊

hell: ok bro

JIN: corny ass

manonfire: Why do you all doubt my lifestyle? 😞

JIN: we 🧡 u 2 roy

Quadruplets

9:40 pm

Cap: DUDE

Posty: what is it now

Cap: i just saw mr builder get killed

Cleany:

What!?

Spooky: this is the wildest take ever

Cap: IM SERIOUS

IM BEING FUCKING SEIROUS

Cap: DUDE

Posty: that’s new

Cleany: What happened though

Cap: i’m glad you asked

SO BASICALLY

i was drivin around in my car

then i heard max screamjng

he was shouting oh no mr builder is dead

LOL

Cleany: What the hell

Why are you taking it as fucjikn joke

Cap: idk

it’s literally ridiculous

Spooky: the rescue team took mr builder in

Posty: how did you know thst

Spooky: dude ic an literally hear polis sirens form here

Cap: youre just mkaing an assumption man

Posty | Cleany

9:52 pm

Posty: dude

we should definiteyl check it put

Cleany: Check what

Posty: mr builder!

i love me sum gossip

Cleany: Why not bring Cap

Don’t you like him

Posty: SHUT UP

Cleany: 😮

Posty: he may be an idiot

Cleany: Like you

Posty: stfu

he may be an idiot

but

idk man

hes just cute

and fun to be with

Cleany: But why nit bring him

Posty: because

i don’t fucking know

Clean: Youneed some sense in yourself

I’ll pick you up

Let’s go

Quadruplets

10:00 pm

Cleany: Spooky’s right

Cap: huh

Spooky: dont judge me ever again

Posty: literally lol

i met up with cleany and were over lookiny st the resue team headquarters

Cap: without us?😞

Spooky: fake bitches

Posty: dude

i just assumed you two were here

Cap: howthe fuck did you even assume tha

Spooky: i’m withthem now

Cap: fuck all of tou

im coming there

-///-

“I can’t believe you all fucking left me!” Cap whined incessantly as he hiked up the small hill.

“Don’t shoot the messenger.” Spooky said, eyeing Posty and Cleany.

“Posty,” Cleany sighed, “You should’ve texted it to the entire group chat.”

Posty gulped. He swiftly went to Cleany’s ear. “I don’t want them to know that-”

I like Cap.

“I know, I know.” Cleany gently pushed the shorter man away. Posty pouted. His fists were clenched and his expression was of apathy.

Spooky clapped his hands once, bringing the other two’s attention to a tired Cap, panting heavily.

“Asthmatic much?” Posty said callously, shocking Cleany by a mile.

“Let’s… just… sit… down…” Cap said, out of breath. The other three complied as they sat on the grass, over looking the lit up headquarters and the starry nights. Despite the cold atmosphere, a warm line of friendship formed between the four.

“Look.” Spooky pointed at the dark orange figure lurking in the headquarters. “I’m assuming it’s Jin.”

“It is!” Cap butted in, moving closer to Spooky as they touched shoulders. Posty rolled his eyes at the sight. “What’s she doing?”

Jin was carrying a large garbage bag, unrecognizable liquid was dripping out of it. “Did she kill someone?” Posty concured. “Fuck…”

“She would never do that!” Cleany said, hitting Posty’s shoulder with force.

“She might…” Cap speculated, moving away from Spooky and closer to Posty for speculation. He rubbed his chin and a smirk formed on his overbearing face. Posty sighed as a small smile curled in his expression. “They just brought Mr. Builder there, it’s possible that he-”

“Don’t jinx it!” Cleany huffed.

“I’m trying to!” Cap relied with a chuckle.

The group was fawning over their own theories before an earr bleedingly loud scream pierced their ears.

“What-

in the-

fucking-

hell?”

Their eyes focus at a cowering Jin.

The trash bag was moving.

“Oh my God…” Cleany muttered. “We should get out of here-”

“No!” Cap shrieked. “Let’s watch.”

Cleany was shivering at the turn of events. Posty looked at them funny, then eyed the headquarters.

Jin shrieked so loud they swore the whole town could hear it. The trash bag kept moving frantically, muffled moans and groans emitted.

“Shit.” Posty said.

-///-

Citizens of Broomstown

10:22 pm

Camp: DUDE

DID I JUST HEAR JIN SCREAM

Lifty: What?

Where are you?

Camp: Idk i’m just fucking around

But SERIOUSLY

I SWESR I HEARD HER SCREAM

Lifty: Huh?

Spookyman: you heard that right

jin is screaming

Camp: SEE??!

Where are you guys??

Spookyman: on that little hill next to the headquarters

Camp: I think I can see it

Oh shit she’s saying get off of me

Lifty: Guys…

What’s happening?

Spookyman sent a video

*The video starts with the camera moving incessantly, zooming across blurred figures of Cleany, Cap, and the green terrain, followed by Posty’s whiny voice saying “Keep it steady, man!” The camera finally focuses on the headquarters. An orange figure was screaming for help as she was attacked by the trashbag, still desperately trying to break out the back. Various “woah” noises are made from Cap and a terrified yet low scream from Cleany. The camera zooms in the trash bag cut open and an unrecognizable creature emerges out of the bag. The camera visibly shakes and screams are heard in the background. The creature lurches at Jin and the video ends.*

Lifty: What the fuck?

brutastic: yo i just logged in wtf is that

po-ke: (2)

man i never get to see the cool stuff in person

maxwell: Oh

We’re all gonna die aren’t we

Spookyman: qait

@Camp where are you

Camp: Why do you ask

I’m going home

Spookyman: thank god

you wouldn’t want to see the shit that’s hapening rn

Lifty: What?

brutastic: WHATS HAPPENING

SEND A VID

po-ke: send or ill send you to heaven

Spookyman: cant you just come here

po-ke: nah

itll save us the danger of getting eaten alive lol

Spookyman: i hope you get mauled to death

maxwell: Guys…

It’s not a monster

po-ke: ?

-///-

“That’s not something you see every night.” Dunp played the video again, a curious expression on his face.

“I’m telling you, it’s Mr. Builder!” Max said, terror in his voice. He checked the video. “Because when the rescue team…”

“Why is he twitching?” Amber asked, holding Mr. Builder’s shaky hands.

Poke shrugged. Max shaked his head. Mr. Builder’s body was shaking like a rattle.

“Must be the side effects of a stroke.”

“-but twitching isn’t a side effect.”

Poke gestured to Bruner, who had wide eyes and all ears for the story.

“Woah, did he become a zombie or something?” Bruner asked, seemingly unaffected by the nature of the situation.

Poke shaked his head.

-///-

Mr. Builder’s Delegates

11:00 pm

Max: This is bad

Really

Really

Bad

Bruner: what makes you say thst man

Max: I haven’t seen this shit in years