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Shigeru’s hands are steady as he carefully dabs away blood from Kyoutani’s back. He almost wishes they weren’t, wishes they’d still be shaking the way they were at the beginning of the year. It’s a terrible thing, he thinks, to get used to bruises and broken bones and the cold seeping in through your clothes. The flickering flames in the fireplaces used to be comforting, the common rooms places of refuge; now every shadow thrown against the walls is a threat and sharp eyes seem to be hiding behind every corner of the castle.
Shigeru has wiped away most of the blood as good as he can leaving behind smooth skin littered with dark purple smudges. He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth and finally moves his attention to the cut right between Kyoutani’s shoulder blades. Blood is still slowly seeping out of it and when Shigeru presses the wet cloth in his hands to the edge of the cut Kyoutani flinches. Shigeru can feel the muscles tense up under his fingertips but he grits his teeth and keeps going.
This has become a routine for them throughout the past months, to meet up in an unused classroom in the dungeon at least once a week. In that time Shigeru has become scarily good at patching up wounds in dim candlelight and Kyoutani, who used to growl and snarl about the Carrows, has fallen silent. Now that winter has arrived it has become easier for Shigeru to hide his own scars. He doesn’t wear the marks of fists and curses like Kyoutani but the backs of his hands are littered with fine cuts and foul words crawl up his arms. He hides them away under coats and gloves and hopes that no one sees them even though he knows that none of this has been a secret in a very long time. Everyone knows what it means to be called for detention by now.
The cut won’t stop bleeding and Shigeru lightly presses his hand against Kyoutani’s shoulder to signal him to stay where he is. Shigeru’s bag has turned into a first aid kit of sorts and he pulls out a roll of bandages he smuggled out of the infirmary. Then he scoots back towards Kyoutani, the rough stone floor digging into his knees, and crosses his legs before leaning forward to continue his work. As he starts to unroll the bandages he nudges Kyoutani’s shoulder again to get him to raise his arms. With a wince the other boy complies. He stiffly rolls his shoulders as if every movement makes his muscles ache but finally he crosses his arms behind his head and Shigeru starts wrapping the bandages over his shoulder and around his chest. The cut is in an unfortunate place and Shigeru can only hope that his makeshift wrapping will hold. When he’s done he ghosts his fingertips over Kyoutani’s back in a silent apology before he moves to get up. Kyoutani follows although he’s still staring at the ground when he pulls on his shirt and slings the strap of his bag over his shoulder. They don’t exchange any words as they slowly make their way to the door and Shigeru takes a deep breath to steel himself. Then he reaches out to push the door open but a hand on his upper arm interrupts him. He turns around to find Kyoutani finally looking up at him, the circles under his eyes even darker than usual. He keeps his hand on Shigeru’s arm and twists his lips, his brows furrowed in thought.
“Can I…” he finally starts, his voice raspy from exhaustion and lack of use. “Can I kiss you?”
Shigeru nods jerkily without a second of hesitation and he has to lean down a bit to press his lips against Kyoutani’s. He wishes he could stay in this small moment of familiarity forever and when Kyoutani reaches up to tangle his hands in Shigeru’s hair he leans in to deepen the kiss. Kyoutani’s lips are a little chapped and Shigeru sighs against them as he closes his eyes. Their kiss doesn’t last long but when they pull away they rest their foreheads against each other for a moment. Then somewhere out in the hallway a door falls shut with a hollow thud and they part reluctantly. Shigeru pushes open the door and glances out to check whether the hallway is empty before they both step outside.
Before they part ways Kyoutani shuffles his feet and clears his throat.
“Remember that”, his voice breaks and he cuts himself off. Then he raises his right hand, curling his ring finger and middle finger towards his palm keeping the other three straight. When he lowers his hand back to his side there’s a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Shigeru stands unmoving for a moment before he repeats the sign, mouthing the words along with it.
“I love you, too”, he whispers and watches as Kyoutani gives him one last nod before he turns around to hurry down the hallway towards the upper parts of the castle.
Shigeru watches him leave before he makes his way in the other direction, following the path that leads him deeper into the dungeons towards the Slytherin common room. Going back there always seems like a punch in the face, to see gloating faces and condescending smirks of the kids who decided to side with the people responsible for the darkness that started to lurk in the shadows of Hogwarts. He slips in unseen and luckily the room is almost empty anyway but before he can get to his dorm someone grabs his arm and quickly pulls him into one of the alcoves besides the fireplace. Shigeru’s first instinct is to struggle and scream but when he sees who’s standing in front of him his shoulders relax a bit.
He’s known Oikawa since his first year here and, especially over the last months, he’s come to trust the seventh year. However the moment he makes eye contact with the other boy Shigeru goes tense again. Oikawa looks utterly exhausted, his hair dishevelled, and for once his uniform is rumpled and the tie just loosely draped around his neck. His eyes are puffy and bloodshot and he keeps glancing around like a caged animal. A pair of glasses sits perched up on his nose although the glass on the left is shattered. They broke last week during defence against the dark arts and the Carrows had forbidden him from magically repairing his glasses. Shigeru tries to swallow down the memory of that day but he was sitting in the classroom just across the hall that day and it’s hard to forget Oikawa’s screams even now.
Oikawa is trembling when he takes a few shaky breaths to calm himself down a bit. Shigeru waits, anxiously shifting his weight from one foot to the other and he’s just about to ask what happened when Oikawa speaks.
“Hajime has to leave,” his voice is barely above a whisper but Shigeru hears ever word as if they were piercing through his eardrums. “His…they found his mother and he can’t stay here. He’s already in the Room of Requirement.”
Shigeru knows what comes next even before Oikawa speaks but all of this is still sending a wave of icy chills through his bones.
“I have to go with him.” Oikawa’s voice is wavering, almost pleading and when Shigeru just nods he seems relieved.
“I know,” Shigeru answers. “It’s okay. It’s okay; I’ll do my best to help out here.”
Oikawa heaves a sigh and his shoulders sag. When he looks up again he gives Shigeru a smile, just a quick twitch of his mouth, but that’s enough.
“Thank you,” he whispers and lightly brushes his hand against Shigeru’s shoulder before he turns and shuffles out of the alcove. Shigeru doesn’t watch as he leaves but he hears the door fall shut and hopes that this won’t be the last time he sees Oikawa. He doesn’t give himself enough time to think about it any longer, instead he takes a deep breath and walks towards his dorm.
There’s another day to come, he thinks, and many things may happen but he promised himself that he wouldn’t give in to the Carrows and he’d rather break his bones than break his promise.