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Dazai stared at the rattling wardrobe with curiosity twinkling in his eyes.
“Can anyone guess what is inside?” Professor Lupin walked around the crowd of students.
“A boggart?” Someone asked.
“Yes, that is correct. And can anyone describe to me what a boggart looks like?”
“No one knows. Boggarts are shapeshifters that take the shape of whatever each specific person fears the most” Hermione chimed in.
‘Fears the most… huh…’ Dazai thought to himself.
“There is a way to counter them using a certain spell. Say it after me, ‘Riddikulus!” Professor Lupin chanted.
“Riddikulus!” The class echoed.
Dazai had a sinking feeling in his chest. While it was good to gather information on potential enemies and their fears, he felt like something was about to go wrong. The thought had him picking at the bandages on his wrist.
The professor went into detail on how to cast ‘Riddikulus’ on the boggart using Neville as his example.
“What frightens you the most?” Professor Lupin asked.
“Professor Snape.” He stuttered.
Dazai couldn’t help but chuckle at that. And so did the rest of the class.
‘Snape, scary?’ He thought in amusement. Sure the professor always wore a sour look on his face, and sure he was quick to anger. But Dazai had seen a softer side of him. The thought of Snape being the scariest thing to Neville just seemed silly. ‘I’m jealous’ Dazai thought.
Professor Lupin counted down and used a spell to unlock the wardrobe. Sure enough, a figure looking exactly like Professor Snape stepped out of it. He wore the same scowl that was always on his face as he marched forward.
When Neville casted the spell, a ridiculous (hehe, pun) looking outfit appeared on his body. Dazai chuckled loudly at that. ‘I’ll have to tell Professor Snape that he looks good in a skirt.’ He thought to himself. More ammunition to tease him with. Blaise looked at Dazai when he heard him laugh and a fond smile formed on his face.
“Alright everyone, form a line.” Professor Lupin said.
At that, most of the students tried to get as far back in the line as possible. There was lots of pushing and chatter amongst themselves. Dazai was third in line with Blaise right behind him. He shuffled around with an instinct to get to the back of the line, but Professor Lupin’s voice snapped him out of it.
When Ron was called on, his fear of spiders was revealed. He whined in fear before casting the spell. Laughter erupted at the funny sight.
Next, was a girl with a fear of snakes. She conquered it with just that simple spell.
Next was Dazai’s turn, only he hesitated to move forward.
“Dazai?” The professor called out.
“Are you alright?” Blaise put a hand on his shoulder which startled Dazai.
“Dazai, please step forward. This is a lesson in conquering fears after all.” Lupin chimed back in.
Blaise dropped his hand back to his side and Dazai reluctantly stepped forward. When the boggart began to change, Blaise immediately remembered the way Dazai reacted to the dog that was Hagrid’s guard.
‘Oh no.’ He thought to himself as he started reaching out to Dazai. But something stopped him in his tracks. The boggart didn’t transform into a dog, it transformed into a man he didn’t recognize. Dazai’s whole body was stiff like he was frozen. He felt his blood run cold and his knees started shaking. His breathing increased to quick rapid breaths.
“Dazai, remember this is just a boggart. Cast the spell.” Professor Lupin interjected.
Dazai snapped out of his frozen-like state and held up his wand.
“Are you really pointing a weapon at me, boy?” Father’s voice spoke.
Dazai’s grip loosened and he dropped his wand on the floor immediately. His shaking and heavy breaths continued.
“Come here.” Dazai jumped when he heard father speak those words. He knew what was coming next. “Now, boy!” He yelled.
Dazai slowly walked up to the boggart that took the form of his father. He couldn’t disobey or else his punishment would be worse. His eyes were wide with fear as he prepared for the beating that would surely follow, like it always does.
Professor Lupin jumped in front of the trembling Dazai and casted a spell to knock the boggart back into the wardrobe. He casted another spell that closed and locked the door once it was inside.
Dazai kept letting out loud quick breaths. He was trembling so much he felt like he was going to collapse. A panic attack… now of all times…
“Dazai? Are you alright?” Lupin went to put his hands on Dazai’s shoulders but he quickly flinched back in response which caused Lupin to stop in his tracks. He pulled his hands away, shocked. ‘This is what Severus was telling me about before school started back up.’ He thought to himself.
Dazai didn’t take his eyes off the wardrobe. He was convinced that if he looked away for even a moment that father would step back out and hurt him.
“Someone, grab me a chair. Quick!” Lupin commanded.
Blaise sprung into action and grabbed a chair and quickly set it behind Dazai.
When Dazai realized the chair was behind him, he allowed his legs to collapse and he fell into the chair, still watching the wardrobe with wide eyes. Still having a panic attack.
“Dazai.” Blaise crouched by Dazai’s side. Ron and Hermione ran over at some point too.
Professor Lupin saw that his eyes were still on the wardrobe. He fell on his knees in front of him. “Dazai, it’s locked in. It cannot get out. You don’t need to worry.” He reassured. “Hermione, please fetch Professor Snape immediately.” He looked up at the rest of the class who looked incredibly confused. “The rest of you, class is dismissed.”
Hermione quickly shuffled past everyone and out of the room. The other classmates still stood, watching with shocked expressions. No one dared to move an inch, like they’d miss something if they did leave.
Blaise set his hand on Dazai’s knee and stared into his panicking eyes. He could tell that Dazai wasn’t there at the moment.
Professor Snape burst into the room out of breath. Neville let out a loud squeal. Professor Snape chose to ignore that, he had more pressing matters. “What happened?” He called out. He saw Dazai sitting. He was trembling, breathing loudly, curling in on himself. He rushed over to Dazai’s side. “He’s having a panic attack.” He said with a hint of worry in his tone.
“Dazai, is there anything you can do to help you calm down? Maybe a coping mechanism?” Lupin asked. Dazai looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes.
“A knife.” He started “or a razor blade or another sharp object.” He started scratching at his bandaged wrist aggressively.
There were gasps around the room and Snape got down on his knees to look up at Dazai. He grabbed the hand that was scratching his wrist and held it. Professor Lupin noted that Dazai didn’t flinch that time.
“Mr. Dazai, let’s work on calming down first and then we can go to my office for some tea.” Snape spoke slowly and quietly. “As for the rest of you-!” He looked up at the rest of the class. “Out, now!” He shouted sternly. Some students jumped, some shrieked, and Neville may or may not have started crying. Everyone quickly shuffled out of the room except for Blaise.
“Mr. Zabini-.”
“Please let me stay by Dazai’s side, sir.” He pleaded. Snape looked at Dazai and thought for a moment.
“Alright then.” He responded. Seems like he will have tea for 3 today…
Once Dazai had calmed down a bit, he led the three of them to his office. Blaise grabbed Dazai’s hand and interlocked their fingers together. Dazai seemed more comfortable with Blaise by his side.
He gestured to the chairs for them to sit in while he chatted with Lupin outside the door to get the rundown on the whole situation.
“That description doesn’t sound like his guardian, Mori.” He said deep in thought.
“Whoever the man was definitely seemed like bad news. Let me know how it goes.”
“Thank you, Remus. I will.”
Lupin said goodbye and walked off. Snape let out a sigh and walked back into the office. He noticed that Dazai had his head on Blaise’s shoulder and Blaise had his arm wrapped around him. Dazai’s loud rapid breaths had gone back down to normal breaths and he was only slightly shaking as opposed to the trembling mess he was earlier.
Satisfied with that improvement, Snape sat down and immediately brought out the tea kettle and mugs. “Do you take honey in your tea?” He asked Blaise.
“Yes sir.”
“I don’t.” Dazai muttered. Snape put honey in his tea anyways.
He passed a mug to Blaise that said “Snake Trainer” in bold letters with a snake under it. He passed Dazai his usual snakeskin mug because, well, that was Dazai’s mug now and Snape wouldn’t dare let anyone else drink out of it. Blaise and Dazai had broken away from each other to drink their tea. With a few passing moments, Snape noticed that Dazai’s slight trembling had stopped, and he only looked exhausted now.
“We should talk about what happened.” Snape broke the silence. Dazai tensed.
“Do we really have to?”
“Yes. The man you saw wasn’t your guardian. Who is he?”
Dazai paused and started into the tea in his mug. “I really… don’t like talking about him, sir.”
“Mr. Dazai, I can assure you that you are safe right now. But I can’t help you if I don’t know anything.”
“Then don’t help me.” He muttered.
Blaise watched Dazai with sad eyes.
“Why not?” Snape asked calmly.
“I just said it was because I don’t like talking about him!” Dazai felt himself getting irritated and desperate- two feelings he hated having.
“Why, Mr. Dazai-?”
“Because I’m scared!” Dazai shouted. A moment of silence followed as Blaise and Snape stared at him bewildered. Blaise set his mug down and held Dazai’s hand once again.
“If this man is a threat to you.” Snape spoke slowly and carefully. “Then we need to take action to keep him away from you.”
He weighed his options before finally deciding on “Don’t bother, he died over winter break.” He didn’t like talking about father and made sure he never uttered a single word about him at hogwarts. But with Snape finding yet another reason to pry into his home life, he felt the need to tell him at least this little bit of truth to get him off his back.
“I’m going to ask you again, Mr. Dazai. Are you being abused at home?”
Dazai rolled his eyes at that question. ‘I swear if he asks me that one more time-.’ An idea dawned on Dazai. An excuse to get Snape off his back for good. He really didn’t like talking about father, but this might help quell Snape’s ever growing suspicions.
“I already told you, I’m not. I was at one time, but I’m not anymore.”
Snape’s eyes widened at that. Blaise appeared shocked as well. They waited for Dazai to continue.
“You see, Mori was my father’s doctor. My father was very sick and was rapidly declining. Once Mori found out father was abusing me, he adopted me.” He started. He got a nod from Snape to continue. “When we heard about Hogwarts, Mori thought it was a great opportunity to keep me away from my father where I could stay safe from him.”
Snape recalled Dazai’s mostly empty apartment when he first met him. ‘Maybe he was just moving in?’ He thought to himself.
“When winter break was around the corner, Mori informed me that my father was on his deathbed and wouldn’t make it past the break, so I decided to go home. He ended up passing away and I was able to attend his funeral.”
“Is that the real reason why you ran away to Malfoy’s mansion?” Snape asked.
“Ah, you know me so well professor.” Dazai lied. “Yes, the emotional burden was too much so I needed a distraction.”
“I see, so that man was your father…” Snape trailed off. Dazai’s explanation made perfect sense to him. He still had an uneasy feeling about Mori but he would make sure to keep investigating behind Dazai’s back.
“Now that you know about it, please don’t ask me about him again.” Dazai sighed with a shaky breath. “I really don’t like talking about him.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Dazai but now that I know, I promise I won’t talk to you about the events today again.”
“By the way, professor…”
“Hm?”
Dazai smiled, cheeky. “You look pretty great in a skirt.”
Blaise laughed at that and Snape looked incredibly confused which only made Dazai laugh harder. Snape didn’t know what to make about the little inside joke they shared about him.
He tried to go for a scolding look but couldn’t stop the slight smile from breaking out onto his face. He was glad that Dazai was feeling better now.
When Dazai stopped laughing, he sighed, exhausted. He still wasn’t ready to face the fear of his father yet, but he felt like he was ok in this moment.
‘Hopefully I’ll be free from that burden someday.’ He thought to himself as he took another sip of his tea…