Chapter Text
“Y’ello,” Lucifer answered his phone enthusiastically. He didn't get calls very often, and based on the caller ID being labeled “Prince Stolas," he assumed his authority was actually needed for once. And it wasn't the population of sinners that needed him, either. Luicfer found that he had a decent amount of respect for the Goetia family, so he felt quite keen to speak to the prince.
“Damn it, Stella!” Lucifer heard Stolas grit his teeth from the other side of the line. “I’m calling her now! Relax!”
“Don't you tell me to relax!” Stolas’ wife shouted from the other side of the room, loud enough for the phone to pick up her sound.
“Uh, hi?” Lucifer said, less confidently now. He doubted he was the she in question that Stolas intended on calling. It felt like a stab in the heart if he was being honest with himself. It appears he wasn’t needed after all. He never cared for being a good king, so he wasn’t quite sure what changed. Perhaps his newly lonely lifestyle without Lilith or Charlie in the house made him want an excuse to leave the constricting walls he found himself in. He decided not to dwell too harshly on psychoanalyzing himself about it, though.
The bickering couple carried on their argument as the king’s attempts at being heard continued to fail.
Lucifer didn't have many social skills, but he was socially aware enough to understand that it would be rude to just hang up, so he awkwardly waited for the back-and-forth yelling on the other side of the phone to die down before speaking again. “Did you mean to call me, Prince Stolas?” He felt pathetic as he asked the question, knowing damn well what the answer was going to be.
“Hm?” Stolas made a questioning sound before breaking out into a coughing fit, presumably realizing who he had just called. “I am so so sorry, your majesty,” Stolas said in a panic. “I must've called you by mistake. I-”
Recognizing Lucifer's voice, Stella cut her husband off with a shriek. “Have you gone mad, Stolas?” Peachy. Lucifer felt so welcomed. He didn't blame her; he knew he was meant to be feared, but he thought he and the Goetia were familiar enough to be past worry. He must've been wrong. How unfortunate.
“His contact was right above Lucy's!” Stolas roared back.
“Is everything alright over there?” Lucifer really wanted to hang up and wallow in his own self-pity. Maybe make another rubber duck or something. One that can shoot lasers out of its eyes.
“Oh, right!” Stolas’ attention was once again focused on the call. “All is well, sir. It's just, um, my daughter-” He cut himself off with a sigh, recollecting himself. “Please forgive me for my incompetence.” Stella scoffed in the distance.
Lucifer's eyes widened. He had met Stolas’ daughter, Octavia, once before, and based on the scene happening on the other side of the phone, Lucifer couldn't help but furrow his brows in slight concern. “Your daughter? Is she okay?”
“Yes! Yes! She is just fine!” Stolas cleared his throat. “I had meant to call a friend of mine to watch over ‘Via for the night because of a last-minute ceremony both Stella and I must be present for. It's just some nonsense you need not to concern yourself with-”
“I don't need a babysitter,” a new voice shouted. Octavia, he assumed. “I'm fourteen!”
Wow, fourteen already? Lucifer remembered when she was just barely walking. The attitude held by the now-teenager was not unlike Charlie’s at that age. Though he supposed the other family’s species aged at a human-like pace, she will likely grow out of it much faster than Charlie did.
“Please, ‘Via, it's not safe for you to be alone in the house. We’ve talked about this.” Stolas pleaded with the girl.
“Hang up with Lucifer if you're going to be having this conversation with her right now!” Stella bellowed.
“Why the fuck are you on the phone with Lucifer?” The teenager gasped.
“Language!” Stolas chastised.
“Let's just take Octavia with us, okay?” Stella suggested, annoyance coating her voice.
“That's not safe either!”
“Then I will text Lucy as we leave. We have to go now!”
“Don’t do that!” Lucifer shouted without thinking. It seems that even when his child was no longer living under the same roof as him, he couldn't suppress his parental instincts. “What if she can't come and Octavia is left alone by herself anyway?”
“I deeply apologize that you had to hear our family drama,” Stolas squeaked out. How many times was this man going to apologize?
A silence hushed over them. It was really awkward, until Lucifer got an idea.
“Give me a minute to get dressed, and I'll teleport to ya’ in no time!” Enthusiasm began to engulf the king’s voice once more.
“Wait what?” Stolas asked anxiously.
“To watch octavia,” Lucifer clarified. “Somebody ought to do it, and I have nothing better to do.”
He had nothing to do at all, in fact.
“That won't be necessary, your highness,” Stolas tried to assure, despite his voice being shaky and ridden with anxiety. “We will figure something out.”
“Oh, don’t be a stranger, Stolas,” Lucifer insisted. “Like I said, I have literally nothing better to do, and I haven't seen little ‘Via in a while! It’ll be nice to catch up.”
“Stolas, move your ass!” Stella cried out, her patience never having been there to dwindle in the first place.
“I'll see you in 2 minutes.” Lucifer quickly hung up before Stolas could deny his help any further. He laughed to himself, imagining Stolas frantically telling his family that the devil himself was coming over to babysit in a few minutes But Lucifer has always been something of a selfish man, and watching over a long-distance niece-of-sorts sounded much more appealing than rotting in his house all by his lonesome.
Lucifer readied his fingers to snap to Goteia’s residence before taking a deep breath. He was going to be the best goddamn babysitter hell has ever seen.