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They are sitting atop a lookout point, Baldur's Gate visible in the distance, small orange lights of the city blinking amidst the quiet, dark night. The cool, brisk wind sweeping through is refreshing, if a bit too cold. The warmer days are fewer and far between, seemingly coming to an end as winter approaches.
Tav is glad to be out of the gods damned Shadow-cursed lands, the worst of his nightmares gone with them, at last.
So much has happened.
Shadowheart has been forsaken by her goddess, doing the right thing despite the dire consequences awaiting her. Tav hopes Nightsong can give her some solace and answers which he can't.
Wyll's father was captured, although he was released from his pact at least - or should be, in six month's time. He isn't sure what Mizora comes up with, next time they see her.
Lae'zel is ... herself, with seemingly renewed strength and determination after the shocking revelations with Vlaakith.
They lifted the curse with Halsin. Gale didn't kill himself, Karlach can touch people again, Scratch and the little owlbear are best friends - that's something nice, at least.
Astarion ...
Gods, he's so glad for Astarion - that he's here, with him, after the gruesome assault on Moonrise Towers and the battle with the Sharran general. That he's been here for him, holding him together when Tav was struggling and faltering, battling the demons from his past in addition to everything else resting on his shoulders.
They are together now, officially. Neither of them have a word for their relationship, but Tav finds he doesn't really care.
It was after the encounter with the drow merchant, in Moonrise towers. After the way she looked at Astarion, as if he was a thing she could use , then discard. Tav snapped and lost his temper in a way probably none of his companions have seen before.
It didn't end in a bloodbath, thankfully - for her.
That night, Astarion came to him.
He thanked him. Asked him why , when Tav himself is quite greedy and power hungry, most times, didn't take the offer the drow made.
And something broke in Tav then, because it wasn't clear to Astarion that he was not a thing to be traded. That no power could ever be worth it to Tav, in case the price is using Astarion's body in such a vile manner, against his will.
Astarion himself admitted as much to Tav. Saying Tav has made him realize he's more than that. More than a thing to be used.
And Tav, before thinking about it more, came to him and hugged him, wrapped both hands around his back and held him. Astarion shakily returned the embrace after a moment of shock, pressing his hands lightly to his lower back, burying his face in Tav's shoulder.
They stayed like that for what felt like hours, as the world around them stopped.
Something changed that night, even though there were still things left unsaid.
Astarion was ... somehow softer, now. They talked more. He asked Tav if he could not see him in terms of sex, in a faltering, hesitant voice, as if expecting rejection before he even spoke the words.
Then, other times, he is ... difficult. He taunts Tav, whispers into his ear what he would do if they would have sex now , he purrs, and then not for another month, year, ten years. How long would he wait? Maybe he will never be ready, what then?
And Tav smiles, kisses his forehead, and tells him he's barely 170 and has at least another five centuries of life ahead, so he has plenty of time.
And if even that wouldn't be enough, well, that's fine, too.
Sometimes in camp, when they are alone, he's staring ahead, with empty eyes looking far away and nowhere all at once - where nothing fazes him, nothing goes through to him, lasting from minutes to entire hours.
Then other times, he tenses, startled, when Tav touches him.
He doesn't let him touch him, for days, at times - and taunts him about this, too, trying to get a rise out of him, make Tav admit this bothers him, to say he doesn't want this, after all.
Giving him a way out.
He realizes, then, at some point - Astarion doesn't believe he's worth anything beyond his looks. Doesn't feel he has anything to offer, if he can't give his body to Tav.
So Tav tries to show him. The little things, the little affections, one at a time, with whatever Astarion is comfortable.
Briefly holds his hand when they are traveling.
Caresses his cheek, and presses a kiss to it.
Runs his fingers through his hair, when they lie in their tent together.
Hugs.
The tangled ones, before they fall into trance in each other's arms.
The light, one-armed ones, when they are sitting near the campfire together with the others.
The intimate, tender, full-body ones, when they are alone, standing, burying their faces into each other.
It isn't only about the physical affections, either.
It's also simply being together.
Talking, their familiar, easy banter for company, sharing a bottle of wine.
Cleaning weapons, sparring together, talking shit.
Sitting next to each other, each reading something.
Sunbathing, on warmer days.
Watching the sunset.
That's what they were doing this evening, here - watching the sun fall behind the city on the horizon, the sky spilled with crimson, then painted purple with a few stars and a pale crescent moon, and now fully dark blue, glittering with stars, the sun completely gone.
Astarion is sitting next to him, head resting on Tav's shoulder. They've been quiet, each in their own thoughts for a while.
There is, however, another thing Tav has planned this evening.
"Hey, sunshine, you still here?" he asks lightly and turns to look down Astarion's head. He catches a glimpse of red under the dark, full lashes.
"Hm? Yes, I was just thinking." He pushes up, sitting straight, looking at the sky above. "When we arrive in Baldur's Gate, I will see the city in daylight for the first time in two centuries."
Tav glances at his face, and he hums, looking at the stars above, too.
"What would be the first thing you'd want to see?"
Astarion pauses, pondering the answer for a moment.
"I'd go to the gardens in the Upper city. I used to spend a lot of time there, when I was a magistrate, " he huffs a small, nostalgic laugh, before continuing.
"I'd browse the shops on the main street. The ones selling finery, especially. Then get drunk, maybe see if we could orchestrate a bar fight and watch, have some fun." he smirks then, looking at Tav, before he turns away.
"Truth be told, I don't know. I don't even remember what the city looks like during the day."
A silence falls between them, heavy with unspoken troubles that lie ahead, which neither of them want to talk about now.
The Absolute and the cult, of course, but then ...
Facing Cazador.
And the ritual.
Another thing they've been in disagreement about, ever since Raphael disclosed the details of Astarion's scars to him. Tav being more hesitant and wary, Astarion insisting he be the one to take Cazador's place in it.
"Well, we sure have things to look forward to, then." Tav looks at Astarion and winks, then stands up, offering a hand to him. He looks at it, grabs it and lets Tav pull him up.
"Speaking of things deep in the past," he pauses, his throat suddenly dry and his heart hammering in his ribcage, erratic, "I had some ulterior motives calling you here tonight." He tries for what he hopes is a light, playful tone, pushing through his nervousness.
Astarion's forlorn face lightens a little at that, as he looks at Tav quizzically, entwining their fingers together.
"Oh? Darling, you are absolutely insatiable if you're looking for another cuddle." he teases, but gives him one of those round-eyed looks that make Tav melt on the spot, every time.
"No, not this time. Well, maybe later …" He gives him an innocent look and a little smile, then clears his throat as he composes himself.
"Astarion, want to see a magic trick?" he forces himself to sound mockingly serious but lighthearted, using all his willpower.
Astarion seems ... suspicious.
"You really are spending too much time with Gale. But alright, I'll indulge you," he clicks his tongue, crosses his arms and shifts his weight onto one leg, "What is it? Is it something dirty?" he bends forward, smirking.
Tav narrows his eyes. "Nah, it's better than that. I think it will blow you away," he retorts before he can stop himself, feeling a sudden spark of boldness from Astarion's teasing.
That makes Astarion curious, his brows shoot up and he hums, intrigued. "Is that so? Well, my love, I'm all red eyes and pointy ears then, let's see it!" he straightens, smiles brightly and claps his hands in front of him, excited.
Tav tilts his head, and smiles at him.
"Very well." He moves a few steps forward, until he stands right next to Astarion.
The nervousness is back in all its glory, and he prays to all the gods listening that this works as it should. He'd hate to explain if it didn't.
He suddenly regrets not asking Gale to practice, but only a little. He's more than four times as old as Gale, it would be humiliating to his people if he couldn't do this simple- alright, shut up and go be arrogant somewhere else - is he really talking to himself right now, by the gods-
"Darling? Hello?"
Hearing Astarion's voice, Tav snaps back in an instant. "Yes, uh, I need to touch you."
WHAT.
Astarion blinks at him, confusion and amusement battling for first place as the main expression of his face.
"Fuck, no, I mean - I need to touch you for the spell, just - can you give me your hand, please?" he says it all in a single breath, feeling his face burn and looks at Astarion, completely mortified.
Thankfully, Astarion is smirking, and not unkindly either.
"My my, this will be quite the sight if it makes you this nervous." Reaching for Tav's hand, he holds it, and squeezes softly.
"It's alright, darling. Relax, I am sure you can do it."
Tav feels so much love at that moment it's ridiculous.
"You're so sweet ..." And it is alright. He does feel calmer, somewhat, if still anxious from the anticipation of it all.
"Hmph. That is all your fault, you know." Astarion murmurs softly, with a huff.
Tav takes a deep breath. "Alright, here we go."
He looks away from Astarion, concentrating on one point a few feet before them, near the railing.
He starts speaking the words then, his free hand drawing symbols in the air with practiced precision, then focuses on Astarion's hand in his-
And finishes the cast, with the final word and gesture.
His heart is beating so fast it's deafening for a moment.
And then it's right there, before them.
A little blurry near the edges, with colors muted just a little, but otherwise clear.
He did it.
Astarion is completely quiet and still beside him.
"Tav, is this-"
The mirror image, a few feet before Astarion, moves when he starts speaking, words echoing.
He freezes, eyes widening.
"Is this ..." He lets go of Tav's hand and takes a step closer, the image moving, too.
He stops again.
"Me?" he whispers, voice quivering.
"Yes." Tav murmurs.
Astarion stares at the projection in disbelief, as if he's seeing a ghost.
He starts turning his head slowly, to one side, then another.
Runs his fingers through his white hair. Blinks. Makes a grimace, then smiles weakly.
"I could describe how you look however many times you'd like. But then I thought, why not show you, instead." Tav speaks, softly, hesitant whether he even should, or rather leave Astarion alone.
"I haven't seen this face in two centuries ." he says. He outstretches his hand towards the image, towards his face.
It passes through.
He shakes his head and chuckles, pulling his hand back, and sniffs.
"I really am a beautiful bastard, aren't I?" his voice breaks at the end.
Tav has a lump in his throat, too, but he hums in agreement.
"Very much so."
Astarion keeps looking at the mirror image - his mirror image - in silence, for some more, until he presses a hand to his mouth and starts crying quietly. He turns around and goes to Tav, his face turned away. He embraces him, slowly.
"Thank you." he breathes into his shoulder.
Tav holds him back, gently, nuzzles into his hair.
"I told you I'd share that power with you, didn't I?" he murmurs, and places a kiss to the side of his head.
Astarion doesn't reply, only squeezes him tighter.
And that's all that Tav would ever want.