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On Daigoro Banjo’s fourth birthday, he told his father, “I want to become a hero!”
His father was All for One, so this news was not greeted with the usual happy cheers or even patronizing doubt of a normal parent. However, All for One had retired from his life of crime a little over five years ago in order to devote himself to raising his son. Thus, he did not completely panic or purchase a bank vault. Instead, he silently thought about it for the next couple weeks.
All for One had done everything in his power to stop Yoichi from becoming a hero. Yoichi had still died trying. This failure was the biggest reason All for One had decided to put family ahead of business with his son. Once, he’d been the demon king, the terror of Japan, the man who sought to control humanity. Now he’d even abandoned his pursuit of One for All and dreams of revenge on the thieves, so as not to miss a single moment of his child’s growth.
If Daigoro wanted to become a hero, why not let him have whatever he wanted? All for One was determined to spoil his precious only child rotten. Since he had no hand in the crime world now, and he’d buried his past, it wouldn’t affect him. On the other hand, it was too dangerous. Heroes had a higher fatality rate than any other career. (Even villains died less frequently due to Japan’s stringent emphasis on taking them alive.) All for One could not bear to lose another family member, or he might go mad, start thinking he was a real demon king, and commit himself to exceptionally stupid world domination plans.
There was a third option. All for One could return to being a villain and conquer the underworld, so that he could keep his hero son safe. If he had total control, then no one would be able to hurt his precious child. Since he was so much stronger than his son, it would be easy to control their battles to ensure he never got caught. He would keep his villain identity a strict secret. Furthermore, he could throw easy victories Daigoro’s way in order to make his baby into the number one hero.
What Daigoro wanted, Daigoro got. All for One would give his son anything. He would have prepared the world for his rule on a silver platter. But if Daigoro wanted to be an (ugh) hero, then he could have that instead.
All for One immediately made contact with his old allies and swept the underworld like a firestorm. It was laughably easy to take back control from those MLA fools and the pathetically out-of-date yakuza. Under his rule, villains started winning victories over heroes again. The stage had been prepared for a new number one hero to save society.
Of course, All for One knew that his son didn’t want him to become a villain. Even at his young age, Daigoro would be horrified if he knew the violence and deaths being carried out on his behalf. But All for One didn’t care. He was a sociopath. And everything would be fine as long as his son never found out.
Over the next decade, All for One carefully cultivated his criminal empire while making sure to still spend time with his son every day. Anyone who interrupted family dinner had their entire family lineage exterminated. All for One also killed any villains who looked like they might be too smart or dangerous to control.
In addition, All for One trained his son to become a hero. He prepared the most delicious and nutritious meals. He had a gym full of equipment in the basement. He came up with games as an excuse to train Daigoro’s quirk and teach him how to use support equipment. Originally, his son had possessed a very weak fingernail-growing ability inherited from his surrogate mother/egg donor, but All for One had quietly swapped it out for a quirk suited for heroism.
All for One did not try to show his son the truth about the world or hero society. He’d already learned from his brother that brainwashing was harder than it looked in comics. Instead, he allowed Daigoro to admire heroes and develop a lamentably normal sense of right and wrong. All for One watched hero movies with his son. He purchased hero merch. He even gritted his teeth and bore it when Daigoro made the exceptionally stupid decision to shave off his perfect flowing white hair because he thought a bald head looked manly. Never had All for One been more tempted to use the vault then at that moment. It had been an even more offensive decision than becoming a hero. But he managed to tell his son that his new haircut looked “okay.”
If Yoichi could see, then All for One felt certain his brother would be proud of how indulgent he was being. Well, Yoichi would probably be upset about All for One’s return to villainy. And all the murder. Also Yoichi would have gone mental if he could see his nephew with a shaved head. But Yoichi was dead, so All for One could just fill in whatever reaction he wanted to imagine. (His giant life-sized Yoichi doll often told him that he was killing it as the perfect father.)
With great pride, All for One presented Daigoro with a carefully researched list of hero schools. “Pick which one you’d like to apply for,” he said generously. He could guarantee his son would get into all of them, because he’d blackmailed or recruited every single principal.
Daigoro was in the middle of shoveling cornflakes into his mouth. He looked up from his breakfast and wiped his face. “Thanks, Dad! But these are all hero schools. I’m not interested in becoming a hero.”
All for One dropped his binder in shock. “But you told me it was your dream!”
Daigoro blinked. “Yeah, when I was in preschool. I’ve had a couple dreams since then. Right now, I want to become a firefighter. They’re so cool! And my ability would be very useful for removing debris and catching cats stuck up trees.”
All for One remained frozen in place as Daigoro finished his breakfast, put his bowl in the dishwasher, kissed his father on the cheek, and left for school.
Only when the grandfather clock in the hallway chimed did AllforOne.exe finally start working again. Ugh, what was he going to do with his massive criminal empire now? What a waste of time. At least it had been a little fun to get back into the old days of killing people and monologuing, but ultimately not worth the effort. All for One supposed he could put Gigantomachia in charge of the empire. Nah, Garaki would be a better person if he wanted to see it fall as quickly as possible. Although Garaki was better-educated and better on paper, he got so easily distracted by his experiments that he’d forget the basics like paying employees.
Now All for One needed to turn his full effort into taking control of all the firefighters and arsonists in Japan.
A week later, Daigoro skipped home from school. “Dad, dad, dad! Guess what! I need to look at those hero schools after all. I inherited One for All.”
All for One spewed his coffee out his nose. Mopping it up, he said, “I’m sorry, I thought you said One for All.”
“That’s right! I ran into a dying hermit in the woods who gave me a super-cool quirk and a mission.” Daigoro beamed. “One for All was created to defeat a villain named All for One. Mr. Shinomori was hiding in the forest for years to stockpile its power, and because he just doesn’t like people. Anyway, All for One vanished and Mr. Shinomori decided to let One for All die with him too. But then All for One returned from the grave and started terrorizing Japan again, so Mr. Shinomori left the forest to find a successor. Turns out not that many people are willing to eat a stranger’s hair. But you know me, Dad! I’ll eat anything! A heroic legacy sounds even cooler than being a firefighter.”
All for One buried his face in his hands. In other words, his son never would have become a hero if not for his own actions. He just knew Yoichi was laughing at him. And probably crying with him too.
OMAKE TIME!
Daigoro: Dad, I’m shocked and guilty that you caused all this chaos because of my childhood words, but I think you have to shoulder the blame here. Why would you take my four-year-old ambition so seriously?
All for One: I decided I wanted to become a demon king and age four and I never changed my mind!
Yoichi: That’s because you’re a nutjob, big brother.
#
Hikage: You stopped chasing after me because you had a child? What a shame, I had so many more great traps to use on you.
All for One: Let’s just say getting a dozen boulders rolled at me as I chased you around that damn forest was also a deciding factor in my retirement.
#
All for One: Doctor what’s-your-name, I’m here to become a villain again.
Garaki: You abandoned me for years!
All for One: Yup, now I’m back. I super-appreciate how loyal you’ve been to me during my mental health break. You’re the smartest doctor ever. I’m definitely not planning to use you as cannon fodder for my kid.
Garaki: Master! I’m touched by your acknowledgement. I will serve you with my life.
All for One: I hope Gigantomachia is this easy too.
#
Hikage: Quick, I’m dying, someone take my quirk!
Daigoro: I’m here.
Hikage: Your face looks a little similar to a certain pair of brothers…but you’re bald, so it can’t be.
#
All for One: Son, what have you got?
Daigoro: A quirk.
All for One: Where did you get it?
Daigoro: From a hermit in a forest.
All for One: How did you get it?
Daigoro: I ate a hair.
All for One: My boy, you can’t just eat strange men’s hair. You’re too old to be sticking everything you find on the ground into your mouth. Put that quirk back where you found it! You don’t know where it’s been! It might be diseased! Or cursed to make anyone not quirkless die a premature death!
#
En: If your father is All for One, how did you die? Did he kill you?
Daigoro: Nope, I was run over by a truck, the enemy of anime protagonists everywhere.
#
Yoichi: Whoa, my brother has quit villainy. I’m proud and happy.
All for One: It’s all for my family. I’d go insane and become even worse if anything happened to my son. I might even decide to destroy Japan for no apparent reason.
Yoichi: I have such a genre-savvy bad feeling.
#
Daigoro: Hi, uncle! Nice to meet you in the void.
Yoichi: I’m not speaking to you until you grow back your beautiful white locks, you heathen.
Third: At least shaving his head annoyed All for One.
Yoichi: I never thought I’d say this, but some sacrifices aren’t worth it even to annoy my brother!
Second: But Yoichi, what if his hair is more beautiful than yours when it becomes long?
Yoichi: Impossible…but I do take your point. Never mind, your shining dome of a head suits you. Welcome, dear nephew!
#
Daigoro: Whoa, I single-handedly caused All for One to become a villain…by accident. My entire life was a tragic mistake. Why is this fic labeled crack?
Author: Bad things are funny when they happen to other people.