Chapter Text
Kuroo
Kuroo sighed as he walked away from his last set of neighbors.
“How am I the only kid in the whole neighborhood?” he mumbled, kicking a rock with his shoe.
He walked home slowly, pausing in the doorway. His mother is drinking a beer in the living room.
“How did finding a friend go?” she asked, not even caring to look at him.
He sighed.
“It didn’t go well.”
“That’s great, honey. You can tell your father about it when he gets home.”
“You and I both know he won’t care either,” Kuroo muttered, folding his arms.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, Mom. I’m going to start unpacking my room.”
“Mmmhm.”
He ran up the stairs, wiping at the tears on his face. He went to his room, tucking himself into the closet in an attempt to hide from everything. He buried his face into his arms, sobbing into his knees.
Kenma
Kenma sighs, looking through the list of sports activities that Nekoma High School offers. His mother said that he had to join a sport, but all of them look terrible. Eventually he settles on volleyball, even though the last thing he wants to do is play a sport with a bunch of other people.
“I think I’ll just try, and then I’ll tell her how much I hate it. She’s bound to let me drop it, or I could just be bad enough to not make any teams. Hm…”
After school, he makes his way to the gym where volleyball tryouts are being held. There are two men standing off to the side, and a few guys lined up across from them. All of the ones that are lined up look like first years. One of the guys across from the first years is a really old man, who appears to be the coach. The other one is a high schooler, although he’s quite large for his age. He has short black hair, and a very blank look in his eyes.
“Ah, another one, line up. We still have two minutes before we start,” the old man says.
The boy seems to be looking over each and every one of them. His blank look is unsettling, making Kenma shift under his quiet intensity.
After two excruciatingly long two minutes, the coach clears his throat, “Alright, my name is Coach Nekomata. I’ll be working with about half of you. The four of you to my right, come over here. You can take over,” he says to the boy next to him.
He nods, taking a step forward.
“My name is Kuroo Tetsurou. I’m a second year here, and the rest of you will be working with me.”
His blank look settles on each of them for a moment. It might be in my imagination, but I’m pretty sure that it settled on me a little longer than the rest of them.
“Tell me your names.”
Kenma doesn’t really pay attention, but one person does catch his attention with the enthusiasm that he says his name with.
“My name is Taketora Yamamoto, and it is a pleasure.”
Kuro raises one eyebrow.
“Ok, nice. Tell me your positions, please.”
“I’m a wing spiker.”
Kenma tunes the noise out until he realizes that Kuro’s eyes have been on him for a while now.
“Oh, um, I’m not really sure. I’ve never actually played before.”
“What did you say your name was?”
“Kenma.”
Kuro walks over, sizing me up.
“Well, Kenma. What actually brings you here if you’ve never played before? You don’t seem like you want to be here.”
“You said your name was Kuro?”
“Kuroo.”
“Right, Kuroo. I don’t want to be here. My mom is making me.”
“Hm, well, we’ll see if we can make it work. How’s your mobility?”
“Not terrible, but not good either.”
“Are you fast? Strong?”
“Not really either of those.”
“Smart?”
“Fairly.”
“Nice, how’s your hand eye coordination?”
“Really good.”
“Let’s see how you do playing setter. We’ll need a new starter next year.”
Kenma nods, sighing.
I really don’t want to have that much pressure on me already.
“Alright, let’s run through some basic drills,” Kuroo says, clapping his hands together.
By some miracle, or as some sort of punishment, I make it on the volleyball team. Coach said that it’s temporary for now. Taketora made the team too. Kuroo is talking to a short blonde in the corner, seemingly unconcerned with everything. He looks exactly the same as he did the other day. I wonder if he’s ever happy.
“Kenma, pay attention. If you want to talk to Kuroo, you can do that later.”
Kenma’s head snaps up.
“No, sorry.”
Despite my answer, I really am curious about Kuroo. However, Kuroo doesn’t even look over more than once during practice.
After practice, Kenma makes his way over to Kuroo. Kuroo barely glances up as he’s packing up his gym bag.
“Kenma, what can I do for you?”
“I’m not really sure. I don’t know how to talk to people,” Kenma says, deciding to be honest.
“Well, then why would we talk?”
“Because I want to.”
Kuroo chuckles.
“Well, ok. We can talk tomorrow. You can warm up with Yaku and me.”
“Was that the blonde with you?”
Kuroo nods, scooping up his bag and water bottle. He heads out of the door, leaving no room for more conversation.
“Well that went well,” he mutters.
Why am I even trying?
He sighs before also heading home. It’s a long day since he has a lot of homework, and a family dinner.
“Well, how is volleyball going? Did you make any new friends?” his mom asks excitedly.
His dad raises an eyebrow as if to ask if they’re talking about the same child. She ignores him, focusing all of her attention on Kenma.
“It’s fine, but I didn’t really make any friends. There is this one boy, Kuroo. He’s interesting, but I haven’t really gotten a chance to talk to him.”
“Well, that’s great. Are you picking up the basics well?”
“Eh, somewhat. I think I’ll ask someone to go over them with me again tomorrow.”
“That’s awesome.”
The next day Kenma jogs over to Kuroo and Yaku as soon as he enters the gym.
“Who’s this?” Yaku asks, putting a hand on his hip.
“This is Kenma. He’s a rookie, but I offered for him to warm up with us. Apparently he doesn’t know how to talk to people. Anyway, play nice, he might be our starting setter next year.”
“I always play nice. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Yaku Morisuke. I play libero.”
Kenma bows before setting his gym bag down. He settles on the floor across from them to start his warm ups.
“I was wondering if you could take me through some of the basics,” he asks Kuroo without daring to look up at him.
Kuroo hums thoughtfully.
“When?”
“Whenever, but hopefully before the end of the week.”
“Well, I’ll have to see if I can stay after practice. I’ll text my mom.”
“What do you do after practice every day anyway? You never agree to do anything,” Yaku complains, kicking Kuroo’s ankle.
“Don’t hit me. I’m just busy.”
“Doing what?”
“None ya.”
“Anyway, what made you pick Kuroo, Kenma?”
Kenma shrugs.
“I don’t know. I met him during my try out.”
“Ah, did you make a good impression?” Yaku asks, turning to Kuroo.
Kuroo shrugs, standing up.
“I’m done. I’ll meet you over there.”
Kenma watches him walk away.
Kenma only makes it two weeks on the volleyball team before he’s kicked off.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, you’re just not experienced enough. We hoped that you would catch up quicker, but we really don’t have time to teach you everything,” Coach Nekomata says, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Kenma shrugs.
“It’s fine,” he says, glancing at Kuroo.
He’s already packing up to go home.
“You should ask Yaku for his number if you can’t catch him.”
Kenma nods, watching him leave. He doesn’t get Kuroo’s number until a week later, and even then Kuroo doesn’t end up responding to any of Kenma’s texts. One night at nine he decides to call him.
On the very last ring, a woman’s voice comes over the phone, “Hello, who is this?”
“Kenma, I’m a friend of Kuroo. Is he there?”
“He’s not allowed to have his phone this late. I’m his mother. I’ll let him know that you called though.”
The next day when Kenma is leaving school, Kuroo is just leaning against the wall near the exit.
“Kuroo.”
“My mom told me that you called me. Why?”
“I wanted to talk.”
“About what? Why are you being so persistent?”
“Because you seem so sad. I don’t usually care, but there’s something different about you. It’s not that it looks like you don’t have friends. I mean, I talked to Yaku. It just doesn’t seem like you actually like or trust anyone. I thought maybe I could fix that.”
“You don’t even know how to deal with your own issues.”
“That’s true, but I felt obligated to try. I don’t know why, but I do. Do you want to hang out sometime?”
Kuroo smiles slightly. There’s a hint of sincerity behind his eyes, but he also looks guarded.
“I can come by your place after practice.”
“Alright, I’ll send you my address.”
Kuroo nods, pushing off of the wall.
“Also, I’m sorry that you didn’t end up making it in the team.”
“Don’t be. You tried your best. I just didn’t. I’m not very good at those kinds of things.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you later.”
He walks off at a brisk pace, which makes sense since he’s already late for practice. Kenma grins the whole way home. His mom is sitting in the living room.
“What’s the face for?” she asks excitedly.
“I’m having someone over. Do you remember Kuroo? He’s on the volleyball team.”
“Yeah, you managed to get in contact with him?”
“Yeah, I talked to him before I left school. He’s coming over once volleyball is over. So, I’m going to get my room set up. He shouldn’t be here before six.”
“Will he be staying for dinner?”
“I don’t know. Can you plan like he will?”
She nods, also grinning now.
“Well, best of luck.”
Kenma nods, running up the stairs. He walks into his room. It’s dirty and completely unpresentable. He sets about cleaning up. He picks up trash, vacuums, and makes his bed. He doesn’t get the time to dust before there’s a soft knock on his bedroom door.
“Who is it?” he calls.
“Kuroo, can I come in?”
“Yeah.”
He shoves the duster under his bed as Kuroo opens the door.
“Hey, whatcha doing?” he asks, glancing around Kenma’s room.
“Just making my bed. I didn’t have time this morning.”
“That’s fair. School starts really early. Anyway, what do you wanna do?”
“I have video games. I have a PS4 and a PSP. I also have TV we could watch. Maybe books? We have books downstairs.”
Kuroo chuckles.
“We can play a game. You pick.”
“Make yourself comfortable,” Kenma offers, turning on his PS4.
Kuroo settles himself on the edge of Kenma’s bed. He tucks his long legs under himself, watching Kenma put the game together.
“I’m just turning on Fortnite. Do you have an EPIC account?”
Kuroo shakes his head.
“Ok, well, I’ll just log into my second one with the second controller.”
“Ok.”
Kenma logs into his second profile before handing Kuroo’s the controller.
“Do you want to play creative or just regular?”
“Whatever you like to do. I don’t know what any of that means. Unless it’s like Minecraft creative.”
“It’s not,” Kenma says with a small laugh.
“Well, then I’m lost. I got nothing.”
Kenma smiles, beginning to explain everything.
Man, I can’t believe he doesn’t know any of this. He spends a lot of time around kids his age. Even if he doesn’t play, I’m sure some of his friends do. I don’t ask though since I don’t want to offend him. Instead, I just begin teaching him.
“Alright, I think I have the basics. Let’s do this.”
Kenma laughs.
“Yeah, ok.”
After a few rounds, Kenma turns to Kuroo.
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know. It’s difficult, but it’s been fun. However, I need to get home.”
“You just got here like half an hour ago.”
“Yeah, I know, but I really need to get home. I wouldn’t want to be late. Then I’d be grounded. It was good seeing you again, Kenma. I just don’t think this is going to work out. I just don’t have time to be the person that you’re looking for. I’m sorry.”
“What are you so busy with? You never seem to do anything!”
Kuroo stays silent, looking at the floor.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats like a broken record.
He refuses to even look Kenma in the eye. It fills Kenma with a type of anger he hasn’t ever felt before.
“Stop apologizing. Just be honest with me! I’ve put myself out there for you. I’ve never put myself out there for anyone! It’s not fair that you just continue to lie to me.”
“Well, I mean, you’re just using me for your curiosity anyway. I don’t know why you care.”
“Cause I’m not. Maybe that’s why I sought you out specifically, but you seem lonely. I just wanted to be there.”
“I am lonely, but that’s not your problem. Also, if it was just as simple as fixing it, wouldn’t I have already done it?”
Kenma looks up, a sheepish look covering his face.
“I’m not sure. I don’t know how this works. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Just please tell me what’s holding you back. Maybe I can help.”
“You can’t. I’m sorry Kenma. I have to leave. Lose my number. I can’t be your friend, and that’s not going to change anytime soon.”
Kenma doesn’t talk to Kuroo again until they’re both adults. He’s a famous streamer who’s also in college. He didn’t expect to see Kuroo again, but he’s doing a volleyball promotion on his channel. When he walks into their office building to talk about the contract, he doesn’t expect to see Kuroo laughing with a coworker. Kuroo’s eyes soften when he sees Kenma.
“I got it. I’ll get the contract from the printer,” he says.
He takes Kenma to his office, sitting him down across from him.
“Hey.”
“Kuroo, I never thought I was going to see you again.”
“I didn’t think I’d see you again either. I’m sorry about high school. I wasn’t fair about what happened. If you still want to know, I can tell you about what I had going on. If not, I can just tell you about this contract, and you can go on your way.”
He doesn’t say it with any pressure. He just offers, and it feels just like that.
“I’d like to know,” Kenma whispers, taking in the obvious differences between how he looks now and how he looked in high school.
The dark spots under his eyes are gone, so is the empty look. He looks like a real person now, not a ghoul. He’s lost some of the muscle mass from high school, but he’s filled out in the more necessary spots. Almost like he wasn’t eating before. His hair is longer, and he has a small smile on his face even if it is a little sad. It’s not blank like it used to be. It makes me feel a little bad about how quickly I moved on from the whole topic. I never even tried to speak to him again, and even got new friends before I left high school. It wasn’t that hard once I actually put some effort in. Kuroo takes a deep breath.
“Well, I didn’t realize how bad it was at the time, but my mother was emotionally abusive and neglectful. My father never did anything. It started with them just ignoring me. I never got a community, which meant that I spent more time at my own house than I did before we moved. That prompted her to become very controlling. She never left anything alone. I had to be home by six every night. I had to tell her who I was with, and what I was doing. The only reason I didn’t have to go home earlier is because of volleyball. She had to know who everyone on the volleyball team was, and if I made any special bonds with any of them. She had to come to every game, and every tournament. She never let me make my own decisions. Eventually, I didn’t even have an identity anymore. Nothing more than what she told me my personality was, or that I couldn’t have one when going certain places. You were the first and only person that tried to reach out to be my friend. I’m sorry that I shut you down. I just was too far gone. I didn’t manage to get away from her until after college. I am happy to say that I haven’t spoken to her since then.”
Kenma stares at him with wide eyes.
“Are you serious? That’s insane. I’m so sorry that happened, Kuro.”
Kuroo laughs.
“Don’t worry about it. Thank you for reaching out. That’s what pushed me to think logically about what was happening to me. It just took me a while to get the courage to do anything about it. I have you to thank for that happening at all. Thank you for being my first friend, Kenma.”
Kenma smiles slightly, his chest warm.
“Do you want to meet up after this at some point?” Kenma blurts out, realizing that he’s still just as desperate to be Kuroo’s friend as he was in high school. He managed to push it away, but he still can’t get Kuroo’s lonely and empty eyes out of his mind.
Kuroo grins.
“I’d love to. Now, let’s work on this contract, huh?”
Kenma nods, his eyes lighting up.