Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In the Marine headquarters, Garp sits in his office, reading the latest news on the newly crowned Pirate Queen, his granddaughter, Monkey D. Luffy. It has been a couple of months since she defeated the Blackbeard Pirates, overthrew the World Government, claimed the One Piece, and finally became the Queen of the Pirates. Luffy has completed her dream and is now sailing the sea with her crew, finding new adventures and friends.

Garp, on the one hand, was proud of her for completing her dream but, on the other hand, was irritated with her for her cluelessness on love from her admirers. Ever since his little girl started the pirate life, he noticed that she had been attracting a lot of attention from a lot of people from all over the world due to her beauty, her outgoing nature, and her powerful awakening devil fruit, Nika. Everyone wants her!
At first, he did not think much of it because he scared those people away from his granddaughter. But now that she’s Pirate Queen, it has gotten worse; her fans have been flaunting all over her, like a swarm of bees attending their queen. Garp was pissed with those admirers; how dare they try to get with his granddaughter? She deserves someone more worthy of her time, not some pervert.

He got some earfuls from Sengoku for his granddaughter’s crazy antics. Thanks to her, many men want to marry her, and some of those men are joining in pirating to go after her to win her heart. Others (such as nobles) are putting a large bounty on her. And, of course, she also has people who despise her for her popularity. The Marine was given a hefty sum of berries for her capture and execution. As much as he loves his little girl, she is just giving him a massive headache.

Garp threw away the newspaper and munched on his 10th bag of rice crackers; sitting across from him was a giant bird man, Big New Morgan. Garp had invited him to lunch to discuss ways to solve his granddaughter’s problems.

“Your granddaughter has been causing a ruckus, eh, Garp,” Morgan said as he sipped his tea. “She sure has captured all those men’s hearts, but it is a shame that she is too oblivious to notice those men having feelings for her. I feel bad for them.”

“Bah, do not say such nonsense, Morgan. Luffy does not need that.” Garp grabbed another cracker and ate its abrasives. “Though, I still want her to marry a strong, nice marine.”

“Have you ever introduced her to some of those marines?” Morgan asked curiously as he lightly twirled his tea around.

“Oh, I tried; last month, on Koby’s promotion to Grand Fleet Admiral, Luffy was there to congratulate him. I pushed her to tie the knot with Koby because that boy also greatly likes my granddaughter!” Garp explained loudly. “But she said that Koby is her friend! This girl!” Garp massages his poor forehead. “So I pushed her with Admiral Smoker; nope, she dashed away because he wanted to capture her.” Garp facepalm, getting annoyed. “Then I asked Sengoku to make his ‘grandson,’ Trafalgar Law, marry my Luffy. But he refused to help me! His grandson likes my granddaughter but never has the freaking balls to confess!”

“Oh, that’s so sad.” Morgan sarcastically, he thought it was hilarious. “How about those kids that her uncle, ex-Admiral Aokiji, used to train? You know, those three troublemakers.”

“Grount, Zappa, and Bonham? Those brats? BAHAHAHA! As if! I respect them for being Marines, but I don’t want them to come near my granddaughter! They’re perverts!” Garp laughed as he chewed his crackers. “I even told Kuzan to ensure his apprentices stay away from Luffy, or else I’ll remove their manhoods!” Garp laughed harder.

Morgan nodded. “But beside the Marine. You know that her crew mates, The World's Greatest Swordsman, Roronoa Zoro, and Blackleg, Vinsmoke Sanji, have a massive crush on her, their captain. Not only that, some of her admirers are mighty pirates, and some of those pirates are her former enemies. I’m amazed that those guys are still interested in her even after she defeated them. She left an impression on them.”

Garp got concerned about that. Garp never really liked her swordsman or her cook. They are both Immature brats, fighting over Luffy to show off; how pathetic. But when it comes to strong pirates. Damn it, Luffy. Why did you attract the wrong people? Garp clutches his fist and releases a monstrous haki.

Morgan feels the tension from Garp. Even though he himself is strong enough to withstand powerful Haki, he's too scared of the crazy side of Garp. Garp is a madman when it comes to his beloved granddaughter.

Garp calmed down and glanced over at the bird man. “I know that Luffy is a strong, independent woman. But I think it’s time for her to find a suitable partner, someone worthy to be my in-law.”

Morgan hums, understanding. This is getting interesting.

“That is why I invited you here, Morgan. I need your help.” Said Garp. Which surprises Morgan. “I decided the best way to find the perfect partner for my granddaughter is to put on a competition. A competition of wits and strength to see who’s the best! And I was hoping you could publish my competition in your newspaper and send it out for the world to see. I want to gather all those admirers in my arena and see if they can compete in my challenges.”

Morgan was stunned by Garp’s proposal; it was wild. But it seems too good to let it go to waste; it was too good, and it needs to be on paper now. Morgan smiled in excitement and pulled out his notepad and pencil. This is going to be the biggest news that the world has ever seen since Strawhat’s crowning. “I appreciate your proposal, vice-admiral. Now, tell me about your idea. I will publish it.”

Garp smiles menacingly; oh, this is going to be perfect. Garp handed out his ideas to the table. “This is what you will write starting next week, in 3 days. There will be a competition in my home country, Dawn Island, in East Blue. The winner gets my granddaughter.”

This is going to be fun!

Chapter Text

Knock.

The sound from the door shook him awake, prompting him to roll onto his side. He didn't have the physical or emotional energy to deal with whatever that was supposed to be. The storm last night took a lot out of him as the crew captain, and he needed five hours of sleep. As a doctor, he knew he should have at least seven hours, yet as a pirate, that dream was far-fetched. This was the Grand Line, not any of the Blues. Seven hours were unrealistic, and anyone who insisted on that much sleep would be dead, even in Paradise.

Knock.

Tangled in the silk sheets that begged him to spend more time in it, he turned again. He didn't venture any guesses as to who might be outside the door, wanting to pull him, the renowned Surgeon of Death, out of his Dreamland. Still, he would need to have a word with whoever was there on the importance of sleep after he’d recharged enough to deal with the world, even if it was against common sense or whatever was left of it in the Grand Line. Why did his mind wander to common sense of all things? It had been more than two years since he actively used it, and he certainly didn't need it to thrive in the New World.

Knock knock.

Whoever knocked was stubborn, either not caring for the consequences of angering their captain or simply oblivious. He wished he wouldn't have to get up and talk to them. It was such a waste of finite time and energy.

His eyelids felt heavy as if suggesting that he shouldn't open them; he opened them anyway. The world was a slur of light, blaring into his eyes and occasionally decorated with the beating of the radar coming from the navigation room. He could feel his eyebrows sink in annoyance. Listening to another knock, he rested his eyelids in peace, attempting to return to the sleep he craved.

Knock knock knock.

This time, the sound was more urgent, followed by the shout of 'Captain!'. That sounded like Bepo, the only one of his crewmates he couldn’t bring himself to scold. This was a problem he knew would cost him in the future, although he hadn’t expected that ‘future’ to be so close. He tensed his body, pushing until he was sitting upright. If he couldn’t sleep any longer, he would let Bepo know he had disturbed him. Why he was so divided on his rest was beyond him and something he would probably never think about again soon. He brought his arms up to his face and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, yawning while he was at it. He contemplated making each action slower to spite his navigator, which would be too harmful to Bepo’s self-esteem.

Brushing his hair slightly, he checked himself in the mirror. Even if Bepo was his most trusted companion, he still had to maintain a certain image in front of him. He couldn’t have anyone see him with his bed hair, the way singular strands flew up randomly as if wanting to punch the viewer in the face.

Creaking the door open, he saw Bepo in all his furry glory, looking down at the floor, all the while mumbling. “C-captain, the News Coos just arrived and, “ at that, he looked up, seeing Law’s murderous gaze, seemingly muttering ‘get to the point,’ “I-i-it had something to do with L-L-L-”

“Out with it Bepo.”

“It has something to do with Luffy!”

Her name rang in his ears, the sound waves bouncing up and down like the stormy waves the day before. There was simply no way he was going to miss Luffy’s article. Although he wouldn’t admit to it, everyone on Law’s crew knew he was fascinated with the Strawhat captain.

His days on the Polar Tang were often spent thinking about Luffy, whispering to his medical books about Luffy, soaking up every news article about Luffy, worrying audibly over Luffy, getting jealous when a potential rival sucks up to Luffy, beating a pirate or Marine extremely hard after hearing them speak badly about Luffy, nearly ordering his crew to sail to the Thousand Sunny when Luffy discovered the One Piece … and the list went on. His crush was severe enough that Shachi and Penguin discovered that their captain blushed and smiled whenever his behavior had something to do with Luffy. They didn’t waste any time using that knowledge to their advantage and told everyone in his crew.

And he (the stereotypical Mr. Tall, Dark, and Mysterious) did what he was best at whenever they brought up his affection for the Strawhat captain; he ignored them. However, that didn’t discourage the two in their attempt at teasing Law into eternity, quite the opposite.

“Where is the newspaper, Bepo?”

“It’s w-with-”

“Bepo.” He could not prevent himself from using that tone he reserved only for Shachi and Penguin on Bepo and he visibly deflated—another person he would have to apologize to after he calmed down.

“With Penguin!” The squeal that came out of Bepo’s mouth might have been something the two troublemakers on his crew would jump at as evidence for their relentless teasing at another time. Still, now, Law’s primary concern was to ensure that Luffy was not in any life or death situation, even though he knew that she was more capable of defending herself and more powerful than him. There had been many occasions that testified to her prowess, like when she had to save him from Doflamingo and defeated him when that was what he swore to do, and when she fought Kaido alone while he had Eustass’ help against Big Mom, and even then, he couldn’t finish in time to help her.

His footsteps echoed in Penguin’s ears, signaling the arrival of his revered captain. Law saw him look up to acknowledge him and mutter something to Shachi before addressing him.

“Captain, your crush is in the newspapers again~” Shachi couldn’t resist the chance for more fun at his boss’s expenses.

“Stop it, Shachi. Where is she?” The moment the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back, and that glint in their eyes didn’t help.

“Here you go captain, since you’re so worried about her.” Without waiting to look him in the eye, Law snatched the newspaper with such ferocity one might fear the paper would rip. On the front page was Vice Admiral Garp blowing into his signature fist, with a stare that seemed to penetrate the paper and stare deep into the Surgeon of Death.

Crap.

__________________

It’d only been a month since Koby had been promoted to Fleet Admiral. He was proud of himself for achieving his dream of becoming a strong Marine. But with the new position as leader of the Marines, he was still new to all the responsibilities and trying to figure things out.

Koby looked through yesterday's news on the Pirate Queen, Monkey D. Luffy. He smiled warmly; his Pirate friend(and crush) had saved another island from a tyrannical dictator. Oh, how he wished he could be there to help her fight off those scum.

I wish she could see me as more than just a friend, Koby thought to himself as he flipped through the paper.

“Koby!” Koby jumped as he heard his name being called; a loud voice came from the hall outside the fleet admiral’s office. “Koby!” It was coming closer. Koby sat up, ready for the confrontation that was coming his way.

SLAM!

Vice-Admiral Helmeppo, his best friend, slammed open the door, exhausted and sweating from running to his office. He was holding onto a newspaper. Koby was shocked to see him in such a state.

“K-Koby!” He gasped for air as he stumbled toward his desk, still clutching the paper. “You need to see this now.” He made it to the desk.

“Ok, ok, Helmeppo, you look tired. Why don't you sit down for a bit.” Koby gestured to a chair in front of his desk, worried that his friend might collapse from exhaustion. ‘Boy, what caused Helmeppo to run to my office so urgently?’ Koby thought to himself.

Helmeppo sat on the chair, finally getting some air and still holding the newspaper. Koby pulled two bags of crackers from his drawer and handed one to Helmeppo.

“So what's going on, Hel? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Koby asked, looking at his friend while opening his bag of crackers.

Helmeppo looked over to Koby with a worried expression on his face. “Remember last month at your promotion ceremony?”

“Yeah…?” Coby asked curiously as he bit his cracker.

“And Garp tried to push Luffy to marry you,” said Helmeppo.

“Yeeeaaahhh?…”

“Garp is putting up a competition to find a suitable husband to marry Luffy,” said Helmeppo, placing the newspaper on the table.

“W-what.” Koby choked on his cracker. Did he hear that correctly? Garp? Competition? Husband? LUFFY!? He started coughing and wheezing. He spit out his chewed-up crackers onto the ground.

“What are you talking about, Hel?” Koby asked.

“Big News Morgan is also helping Garp with this competition. It’ll start next week at Dawn Island, in the East Blue. The winner gets the Pirate Queen’s hands in marriage.” Helmeppo explains, sliding the papers toward the Fleet Admiral.

Koby looked down at the newspaper. It had Vice-Admiral Garp’s face on the cover. That smile on his face was the smile of a crazed man. He looked at the bold lettering on top of Garp, ‘MARRIAGE TOURNAMENT!’

“M-m-marriage tournament?” asked Koby, flipping open the page. Sweat was dripping down his forehead; he picked up the papers and put on his glasses to read it.

…………………

“GARP!”

__________________

Ace had been having a good day until the News Coo arrived. No, really, he had been.

It still felt weird, sitting in Pops’s chair. For one thing, it was far too big for him, but Ace was stubborn and refused to remove his father’s things from the Moby. He was the Acting Captain, and he intended to keep reminders of their father and his influence on them across the ship. Marco could give him all the amused side-eye he wanted. Ace relaxed against the back of the seat and smiled at the wanted poster in his hands.

Luffy had achieved her dream… it felt like just yesterday that she’d been telling him about it for the first time. Seeing her so happy, radiating power and confidence through the picture, put a smile on his face that nothing could damper.

…Even his brothers called him a ‘lovesick sap’ who needed to ‘man up and tell her how crazy you are about her already.’ It was a close-run thing, mind you, but his smile would hold up or return quickly at the thought of his queen. Ace was working on his confession, thank you very much, Haruta; he wasn’t stalling nor nervous about how she’d respond. He was one of the most powerful pirates in the world, not a schoolboy!

The weather was beautiful and tranquil, giving them a respite from usual New World antics. They had just headed out from Pops’s home island when the cawing of a News Coo caused Marco to go get the latest paper.

Ace was startled out of his rumination by the Phoenix suddenly breaking out in a huge fit of nervous laughter. Setting the bounty aside, Ace turned and arched an eyebrow at his brother. “I don’t suppose you’re making that sound because the Sora comics are particularly good this week,” he deadpanned.

Marco slowly turned around and stared at him for a second. His expression went through a whole kaleidoscope of emotions before he settled on a very professional look that instantly warned Ace that he wasn’t going to like what was in that paper. The other division commanders could also tell because they dropped what they were doing and came close as Marco marched across the deck and planted the paper on the armrest.

“Last chance to confess, Cap,” Marco said in a tone that implied he was trying to stay calm instead of laughing or wincing in anticipation.

“Confess to what?” Ace muttered in confusion, grabbing the paper and opening it.

His eyes slid over the headline. Paused. He reread it several times after his mind initially rejected it. His lungs seized up, and it took all of Ace’s considerable willpower to not instantly incinerate the paper on the spot.

“What the fuck, gramps?!” Ace shrieked, his heart pounding out of his chest.

A competition?! Over Luffy’s hand?! That senile old man was giving Luffy’s hand away like the most stereotypical fantasy villain ever?! Nope. He refused. That was not happening; no way in hell was he letting Luffy be swept away by some guy - probably a Marine, knowing Garp - not when he loved her so much and for so long.

“Luffy’s getting married?” Haruta asked in confusion, eyeing the headline himself.

“Her old man has gone properly crazy… he’s set up some kinda competition,” Marco said with an admirably straight face.

Vista’s jaw dropped open. “My god, it’s a literal cock fight.”

Namur almost went blue in the face at that; Ace’s flames flared up instantly and incinerated the paper in a flash. “Seriously?! You had to say that right in front of our little brother?!” He hissed at the other man. “Read the room, Vista!”

“Set a course for Dawn Island,” Ace ordered, standing up and stalking off. The crowd instantly parted around him like water receding from the beach. “Marco, you’re with me; the rest of you, I’m gonna need you to hold down our territory while I handle this.”

Luffy… he thought, his heart twisting into a knot. Wait for me, okay…?

__________________

Koala wrung the newspaper between her hands, trying her best to keep an even expression as she power-walked toward the head offices. The paper itself was bad tidings enough; she hardly wanted to draw more attention to herself, not until she knew the broad strokes of how the news would hash out.

She dodged around Iva as she approached the second-in-command office, sighing to herself. As far as connections to Luffy went, Iva was among the more level-headed ones. Still, she wanted no distractions before she managed to find and subdue Luffy’s biggest fan - and most unpredictable supporter - in the Revolutionary Army.

Yet, to her dismay, when she ducked into Sabo’s office, the newspaper was already spread open on his desk - and who would walk in directly after her but the man himself?

“Koala! Excellent timing,” Sabo said briskly, loping to his desk and dropping an armload of items that looked to be raided directly from their private armory. He took up his long coat, which he wore while traveling outside Momoiro Island, and started secreting his findings in its various pockets. “Can you wait - um, six hours - and then tell Dragon I’ll be taking some time off, effective immediately?”

“No-no-no, what are you going to do with those,” Koala hissed, scooping up and brandishing a set of incredibly valuable seastone cuffs from Sabo’s pile; he took them right back, grinning with a kind of manic energy, and tucked them into his coat. “Chief, it’s supposed to be your thing, making sure people go about this stuff the right way! I know you didn’t fill out the forms for all this!”

Sabo groaned under his breath, pulled a sheet of paper toward him at random, and scribbled something down on it; he then signed it with a flourish. “There, requested and approved. Happy?”

Koala snatched the sheet up, glowering at the scrawled Peepaw’s being stupid brb signed and sealed Sabo over top of the unglamorous, but no less critical expenditure reports Sabo was supposed to file. “No. No. You can’t just leave!”

“Who knows what kind of creep Gramps is going to hand my poor baby sister off to if I let him, Koala! I’ve got to be there to defend her honor. You know Dragon would do the same.” Sabo slung his jacket over his shoulders, and Koala’s heart alit with high desperation. He was almost out the door - she positioned herself in front of it, meaning to stop him at all costs.

“Yeah, but he’d at least get someone to fill in for him before he did!”

“That’s what I’ve got you for!” Sabo beamed, and dammit, for a solid second, the open flattery almost persuaded Koala - but then, she realized with horror that he was making for the window, clutching his copy of the paper.

“Do not!” she snapped, lunging, but Sabo already had it open and was sitting backward on the sill. As a last-ditch effort, she added, “Dragon won’t be happy!”

“With Gramps? I’m inclined to agree!” Sabo cheerily replied, glanced over his shoulder, and said, “Well, my ride’s here. Thanks, Koala!”

He dropped backward out the window just as Koala made to grab him - she clutched the sill with punishing hands and grinded her teeth, watching Sabo ride a great sooty crow out over the island.

“I’LL WRING YOUR NECK, KARASU!” she screamed and slammed the window shut. She rounded to see Iva at the door, cocking an eyebrow.

Koala gave them a long-suffering look, wadded up her newspaper copy, and slammed it into the garbage pail. Iva took this in with an intrigued expression on their face.

“Anything interesting in the paper today?” they prodded, and Koala sighed.

“Nothing good.”

“Did you mean to say ‘nothing big’?”

“... Sure.”

__________________

The morning sun rose from the horizon, and a slight breeze blew onto the ocean waves—a ship rocking back and forth. The Strawhats were in deep sleep after partying all day yesterday, with a massive hangover.

“Morning already?” yawned Nami as she sleepily got off her cloud friend, Zeus, who was still asleep. It was her turn to wake up the rest of the crewmates. She pushed Zeus to get up. “Get up, Zeus. It's time for breakfast,” Nami said, groggy. She needed to take a shower to wake all the way up.

She left the girl's room to the grass deck, which was a complete mess: confetti on the floor, empty beer bottles, and plates everywhere. Her crewmates and captain were lying on the floor, still sleeping—all except for Robin, who was waking up now. That was good.

Nami sighed. What a mess. We shouldn't have partied too hard last night. She walked over to her captain, Monkey D. Luffy. “Oi, Luffy, wake up; it’s time for breakfast.” She nudged her captain. The word “breakfast” made the straw-hat captain jolt up from her sleep.

“It's morning! Sanji! Everyone! Wake up, it’s breakfast time!” Luffy excitedly yelled, causing everyone to awake with a chorus of groans. The Captain rushed towards the kitchen, ready for her food to be made. The rest of the crew members got up one by one and headed to prepare for the day.

Sanji cooked a massive array of food for the crew: fluffy cloud pancakes with eggs and bacon on the side and, of course, meat for his beautiful Captain. Everyone ate breakfast, had fun, and talked about their latest victory in defeating the Bomber Pirates and saving the island village.

“Wow, Usopp, you were awesome fighting those bomber grunts!” Chopper happily praised the long-nose sniper.

“Aw, thank you, Chopper. Did you see how I used my fireballs to destroy them?” Usopp loudly explained, beating his fist on his chest with pride. “They were too scared to fight back; they ran away!” he laughed. Chopper cheered and clapped his hooves.

“They were running away from me, idiot.” Zoro rolled his eyes in annoyance as he chugged his morning beer. “Your fireballs almost caused an island to burn down,” Zoro explained.

“Says the guy who almost sliced the island in half,” Sanji said snarkily, which caused the swordsman to twitch at him. “Plus, you almost cut my beloved queen. How dare you hurt her, Mosshead!” Sanji scolded.

“Luffy landed on top of me when I was fighting another swordsman, you annoying cook!” Zoro snapped back at Sanji. “And ‘your’ beloved queen, really? She doesn't belong to you!” Zoro pulled out his swords, ready to fight the perverted cook. Sanji’s legs caught ablaze, prepared to fight his longtime rival.

The others watched as the two started fighting at the kitchen table. It was a regular morning routine for them.

CRASH

“Aw, come on, you guys, I just fixed the ship! Now you're going to destroy it again? That is suuppeerr-uncool!” Franky looked at the hole in the wall with clear annoyance. It seemed he had to fix it. Again.

Luffy laughed as she continued watching her two men fighting. “Those two have been fighting more for the past few months. They’re getting strong, too!”

Nami and Robin looked at their Captain. Oh, Luffy. They’re fighting over you.

After breakfast, the gang was outside on the grass deck, doing their usual activities: Usopp, Chopper, Zeus, and Luffy playing games with each other, Franky fixing the wall inside the kitchen, Brook playing music, Robin reading a book, Nami checking the compass and the weather, Jinbe steering the ship, and Sanji and Zoro still fighting each other.

“Mmmm… it looks like our next destination is Hillside Island… and the weather over there looks like they have a strong windstorm,” Nami muttered to herself. She climbed down from the crow-nest to tell the others.

“Caw!”

She swung her head towards the noise. It was a News Coo. It was flying toward the ship, carrying something. Something big. She rushed down to the grass deck. “Guys! A News Coo is carrying something big, and it’s headed towards the ship!” Nami yelled.

The others stopped what they were doing and looked at the sky where the bird was flying. The News Coo landed, looking exhausted from flying. It was carrying a massive bag - but of what? The bird collapsed onto the grass. Chopper went over to check if the bird was okay. The Coo cawed, tired.

Chopper nodded and turned back to the crew, “He asked if Pirate Queen Luffy was on this ship because he brought a package for her?” the reindeer explained. Luffy, confused, came up to the tired bird. The Coo handed over the bag to her.

The crew was still confused. Why was the bird carrying such a large bag ten times its weight? And why was the bag for Luffy, specifically? Was it a threat? No, it couldn't be; the World Government was long gone, and the Blackbeard Pirates were in Impel Down. So, who could send her a package? Friends? Enemies? Fans?

Luffy opened the bag; everyone was shocked to see that inside the bag were love letters, gifts, meats, bouquets, and a single newspaper.

“W-what is all this? It's not Valentine’s Day.” Luffy said, confused and still shocked at her package’s contents. Nami shook her head in disappointment, knowing that her Captain was too clueless in love. Robin picked up some of Luffy’s love letters; they were from her fans. She had a lot.

“Geez, Luffy, you sure are popular with the men. Look at all these gifts they sent you: treasures, clothes, flowers, and even food!” Nami said in shock, but also thrilled with the treasures and planning on keeping them for herself.

Zoro and Sanji were burning with rage. Who the hell was sending their Captain love letters and gifts?! They needed to find these “fans” and destroy them.

Jinbe picked up the newspaper from the pile. He was shocked to see that the front cover had Vice-Admiral Garp’s face on it; he was smiling with his signature fist as well. Jinbe read the bold lettering; it only got worse. Curious, he opened the page.

Usopp snuck close to the fish-man, “So… what’s going on? What does it say?”

“Luffy. Your grandfather, Monkey D. Garp. He’s putting on a marriage competition on Dawn Island,” Jinbe explained. “The winner gets to marry you, Luffy.”

…….

“WWWWHHHHAAAAATTTTT!” Everyone was in a panic, angry, and shocked mode. Still confused, Luffy stretched her arm and snatched the newspaper from Jinbe’s hands. She read her grandfather’s article, hoping he was joking.

‘MARRIAGE COMPETITION!’ written and published by Big News Morgan.

‘I am Monkey D. Garp, Vice-Admiral of the Marine and the Grandfather of the Pirate Queen, Monkey D. Luffy; she has finally achieved her dream! Now that my little princess is all grown up, it is time for her to find a suitable partner! As her beloved grandfather, I have decided to put on a competition at Dawn Island in the East Blue! Your strength, wits, skills, and power will determine the outcome of the competition! I will find one of you competitors worthy of my granddaughter’s hand in marriage! The competition will start on Monday at noon - better get there as fast as you can! I wish you all luck!’

‘P.S. Hi, Luffy! I'm finding you a husband!’

Luffy was silent for a long, long moment.

“WHAT THE HELL, GRANDPA!”

Chapter Text

On an island somewhere in the South Blue, the news coos delivered newspapers to all its residents.  The civilians of the island read the latest news about the tournament; it was a big hit! There was gossip from shore to shore; some were debating whether or not to sail to the East Blue, and some were talking among themselves about who was the best choice to marry the Queen of the Pirates. 

“Dude, Strawhat Luffy is so hot! I can have a shot with her?” a young man conversed with his friends in a pub.

“If I win her, would I become the King of the Pirates?” asked a rookie pirate.

“Can women also participate?” Asked a woman who was buying groceries.

“She’s also the Sun Goddess, right? Would that mean the person would also marry a literal God?” An elderly man asked his young grandson, who just shrugged.

Everyone was talking.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT A DIVORCE!?” a scream erupted from a dark, evil-looking castle. Everyone outside heard it and stopped what they were doing, straining to hear more. It must have come from the Queen Kinderella, of the Black Drum Kingdom. 

Inside the castle, in the luxurious throne room, a bunch of wounded guards guarded a fat man from his furious wife. Her husband, King of Black Drum Kingdom, Wapol, was cowardishly hiding behind his royal guards for protection. 

“H-honey, I can explain-“ 

“Then explain!” she snapped, clutching her golden throne chair as a weapon, ready to beat her husband to a bloody pulp. He was so dead.

Wapol quivered behind his guards; he shouldn't have angered his wife with the news of the ‘Marriage Tournament’ and declared that he wanted separation from his wife to marry his one ‘true love’ and the one that got away, the Pirate Queen, Monkey D. Luffy. He was thrilled at the competition; it was’s an excellent way to get Luffy. But now, he had to deal with his rampaging wife; she had beaten him with her golden staff til it broke, leaving him with bumps and bruises all over. He’d managed to escape and take shelter behind his frightened guards.

“Well… it’s just that I fell in love with her long before I married you.” Wapol said nervously, still hiding behind his guard. “But now I can finally have her as my new wife and queen!”

“SO YOU’RE LEAVING ME FOR THAT SLUT?!” Kinderella screamed, throwing her throne at Wapol. The guard endured the crash of the heavy chair. “WHY HER!?”

“It’s just that she has a pretty cute face, has a perfect hourglass body, her bosom is…” A plate smashed into his face.

“YOU SICK PERVERT! YOU WANT HER BECAUSE SHE HAS AN AMAZING BODY!” she snapped at him, grabbing a vase as her next weapon. “YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT SHE DOESN’T EVEN LIKE YOU, FATASS!”

Wapol remained behind his guard. “But if I win her in the tournament, she will have no choice but to marry me. Plus, Garp is the one allowing it. It’s his tournament to find a husband for his granddaughter.”

Kinderella threw the vase in his direction but failed; it hit one of the guards. She still fumed with rage at her husband and a hint of envy towards the Pirate Queen. “YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT THE GREAT MIGHTY HERO GARP WOULD ALLOW YOU TO MARRY HIS GRANDDAUGHTER! AH! YOU’RE EVEN MORE PATHETIC THAN THAT KING STELLY FROM GOA KINGDOM!” 

“At least I'm stronger than him!” 

“THERE WILL BE STRONGER GUYS AT THAT STUPID TOURNAMENT! FAR STRONGER THAN YOU!” She grabbed their pet, Hakowan, as another weapon to hit her husband for good.

“I will find a way to win, even if I have to cheat or eliminate the other players in order to win her heart!”

“YOU’RE EVEN STUPIDER TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN WIN!”

“Just watch me, my beloved soon-to-be ex-wife! Once I win her, we can get divorced; you can strip your title as Queen, leave the island, and return to your beauty pageant.” He said without thinking. His guards were dumbfounded by his answer.

“WHAT?” She sneered, clutching her fists until they turned red. Hakowan was still in her hand, suffocating from her grip. 

“I’ll marry the love of my life, make her the new Queen of the Black Drum, and together we’ll rule the open ocean! More importantly, I can be the Pirate King and the Sun Goddess’s husband! I can be the new God of this world! Isn’t that lovely?” Wapol gleefully twirled, caught in his daydream, not realizing that he was just making his wife even angrier than before. 

His guards looked at each other. They’d had enough of him; they didn't get paid enough for this. Let the King deal with his wife. They walked away.

“W-wait! Where are you guys going? Get back here and protect your King!” Wapol demanded.

“Nope. Deal with her yourself, Your Majesty,” said one of the guards.

“We’re going to have ramen for lunch! Have fun!” one added sarcastically.

“Oh, we will have ‘fun’ indeed.” Kinderella’s face had a dark aura with glowing red eyes, looking like a monster. 

Wapol went pallid. He gulped.

“K-Kindy, let's not fight about this silly issue. We can talk about it like civil adults…” he said, apprehensive; sweat poured from him like a waterfall. “All I’m saying is that I find her more attractive than you.” 

She threw Hakowan at him. Wapol ducked in time. The dog smashed into the wall

“I spent two years with you, ignoring all your embarrassments!” She said, oozing hatred for her so-called husband. “I did it for money and fame! That’s the only reason why I forced myself to marry you! For your money and the royal title!” she admitted, not caring if it would hurt him. “I should’ve listened to my daddy about marrying my rich and famous famous fiancée, but nooo! I wanted more and more!” 

“But Kindy…”

“BUT NOW, MY ‘BELOVED’ HUSBAND IS LEAVING ME, HIS WIFE FOR THAT FUCKING STRAWHAT SLUT!” she screamed with rage.

“Kindy, calm down-“

“Do you ever think what the other royalties will think, huh?” She asked loudly as she marched towards Wapol, who stepped back in fear. “‘Oh, King Wapol is kicking out his poor wife for a she-pirate captain. How shameful! I feel so bad for his wife!’”

“But aren’t there Kings and Princes who also want to have Strawhat?-“ he bumped into the wall beside Hakowan, who was still stuck. She was close to him, a few centimeters from his face. He sunk to the floor.

She looked down at him.

“And what will the Kingdom think?” she tapped his chest, waiting for his answer. “They will see their ‘wonderful’ King is a disgusting womanizer going after a young she-pirate! Divorcing his Queen that everyone loves so much!”

“But-“

“You, King Wapol. You are a goddamn embarrassment!”

“But if you think, Kindy. I can let you have anything you want in the divorce!” Wapol said, hoping that it would calm his wife down. But he knew that she was a gold-digger; she wanted almost everything. He needed to give her something so she wouldn’t kill him, and maybe it’d satisfy her. He needed to be careful about his words. “You can have my riches, my successful toy business, my acres of land, and even… the Kingdom! You can rule it!”

Surprisingly, this proposal calmed Kinderella; her angry face turned to sinister smugness. Oh, she liked his offer very much. “Really? Are you willing to give up your King title and the Kingdom to me?” She asked.

“Y-yes!”

But of course, he was lying. He was the ruling King of Black Drum; why would he give up something he worked so hard for? He was putting his Kingdom on the line; he wasn’t just going to give it to her.

“Mmm… okay, I agree with your proposal, darling.” she said, still smugly smiling. “I’ll let you go to the tournament and win that slut Straw-hat.”

“You will! Oh, honey, thanks-“

She grabbed his lips firmly to shut him up; it hurt, and her grip was strong Her nails dug into his skin. She leaned close to his face. “But before I let you do that… I have some conditions.” 

“What is it, my dear?” He mumbled, still scared.

“We divorce first so I can have everything you promised me. Second, don’t expect me to take you back when you lose the tournament. I will send the guards to chase you away or publicly execute you and your loyal servants. Do you understand, darling?” Kinderella said ominously.

Wapol wanted to protest her ideas, but he knew too well that she’d beat him if he refused. He had no other choice but to comply with his wife. If he lost, he’d lose everything. If he won, he still had Monkey D. Luffy. He could start a new kingdom on another island with her! Yes!

He nodded. “Yes, my darling, we can divorce first,” he muttered.

“Excellent! Let’s find a good divorce lawyer!” She cheerfully let go of his lips; they were red, with clear imprints of her fingers. Wapol rubbed his lips to ease the pain. He looked up toward his wife; she was still looking down at him with the same smugness.

“I hope you lose.” She pulled Hakowan from the wall with a grunt, petting their injured dog’s head, and walked away.

Wapol was so screwed.

Something was off in the Charlotte family that day. Something was always off, whether it was Smoothie ordering supplies of smoothie materials from sources unknown to Katakuri, Flampe being jealous of another daughter of the family – like Flampe vs Ananas, nobody knew what to do with those two. The rivalry began after they found out about Big Mom’s death. Without Mama’s support, their spot in the family hierarchy fell into their own hands. The competition that followed was petty in his opinion; who in their right mind would constantly try to poison their sister, or try amputation? Cracker spent even more time trying to make his biscuit armour indestructible, so he could ‘pay Straw Hat back with interest’.

Usually, he would not be seen at the breakfast table with the rest of the Charlottes; when Katakuri stepped into the Seducing Woods, the trees moved apart to reveal Cracker focused on creating biscuit men, and running them through immediately after. Even though impaling them became more complicated every time, this activity of his continued day after day, seemingly with no end. 

The suspicious group in question consisted of exactly those four gathered around Cracker while pretending to be enjoying their food; nevertheless, Katakuri could see how their necks stretched, as if they wanted it to be as long as a giraffe’s. Never would he have guessed that Smoothie was one to play a part in any questionable activities; it was mostly because he noticed she was hanging around Flampe who looked uncharacteristically rageful that day, nearly reaching out and ripping the newspaper in Cracker’s hand in half. Ever since he became the Captain of the Big Mom – now Charlotte – pirates, Flampe had started hiding thingspieces of stuff from him; he always managed to find whatever it was.

“No reading the news at the breakfast table, Cracker,” he scolded. 

“Wha- brother! Why me? Flampe and Ananas are the ones who are reading!”

“You’re the one holding the paper. Now put it down and enjoy some family time. We never had the chance to before.”

“But brother, the news this week is good! Isn’t it, Smoothie?”

“Don’t expect me to side with you. As a Sweet Commander, you should do better.” That was reassuring. At least Smoothie was trying to keep her cover; he knew it was all futile, yet the dining table was the only thing stopping him from confronting her right then and there. 

“Ugh, such a killjoy,” Cracker murmured, “fine, I’ll read it later.”

“Brother, surely you understand the importance of gathering information on your foes? Or did the taste of power make you cocky?” Perospero – the King of Tottoland – sneered. The involvement of their oldest sibling got the attention of the rest of the Charlottes, especially Brûlée and Pudding. Even if they loved their brother Perospero, they wished to maintain a friendly relationship with Katakuri; after all, he’d always been their protector when Big Mom was not, and he’d always supported them however he could. 

“I would have been notified of any knowledge about our enemies at once. These trifling matters are below your concern, Your Majesty. I do not need a snail-paced information source.” At that instant, the rustle of paper reached his ears. “Do you have anything to say, Cracker? I think I told you not to read the newspaper right now.”

“I-I merely cha-hanged my position, brother. I w-wasn’t trying to take it out again, or anything else!” The shakiness of his voice was more than hint enough that he was concealing the paper. Had Katakuri missed some new information?? The crew's best interests were not threatened, that was for sure, yet Cracker was going out of his way to make sure he did not know. It was worrying.

He pushed himself up. Tap, tap, tap. The sound of his shoes against the ground sent shivers down the Sweet Commander’s neck; how he tried to brace himself for the consequences while his body betrayed him was entertaining.

“Cracker, are you trying to hide something from your older brother?” He tried to smile as sweetly as he could, although the reaction from his beloved younger sibling proved the opposite.

“N-no…” His mochi hands swiftly dipped into the younger Charlotte’s seat, dragging up a crumpled edition of World Economy with Monkey D. Garp’s face on the front page, declaring the winner of his ‘tournament’ would receive the Pirate Queen’s hand in marriage.

“What were you planning to do with this, hm? Perhaps signing up without informing me? You know the punishment for abandoning your duties.”

“Katakuri. Mama’s gone now, and we were all hoping for – and agreed on – a more relaxed work environment when you took over. It is well within his rights to compete in this trivial tournament.” Perospero was always looking for ways to undermine and spite him; it worked, much to his annoyance.

“We also agreed that you had to tell me when you wanted to go on holiday.”

“Don’t be a hypocrite. If it were you, you would have gone without a trace.”

“If any of you are done, you can leave. I must prepare the ship. Whoever wants to come can.”

“Brother Katakuri, do … you want to go to the tournament?” Brûlée found it cute that her near-invincible big brother cared about a girl enough to abandon his people to compete for her hand.

“As Cracker’s older brother, I must accompany him so that he doesn’t do something to embarrass the Charlotte name. I know he will stop at nothing to sneak into the competition; don’t they all say better safe than sorry?”

“Yeah, of course you’re going there only to accompany Cracker, rather than giving up your crush to some guy you don’t know.”

“Brûlée!”

It was a lot easier to navigate life as a Beast Pirate now, as far as Page was concerned. Not nicer - but easier. He still had to tiptoe around Ulti’s fits of anger, still avoided Black Maria and Sasaki and Who’s Who whenever he could, still got very little respect and no sympathy and no good times, but it was a step up from constantly feeling like he was about to die. 

King kept a tighter leash on everybody. Once they’d been tossed out of Wano, he changed some of the structure of the pirate crew and put a stop to the constant in-fighting. To him it was a necessity, what with the loss of Kaido. 

Queen hadn’t liked that one bit. He’d challenged King for the Captaincy over it, actually. Page could have warned the guy not to poke the grieving fallen angel with a stick… but he hated the damn doctor, so he didn’t. And if he got a kick out of watching a furious King crush the bozo in the resulting duel - well, he didn’t have to hide it! 

Page stood up and stretched, walking away from the beach party. It was a pretty significant downgrade from the celebrations they used to have; a lot of people were grumpy or disillusioned by that… but still, they were in better spirits than they’d been in a good long while. They’d solidified new territory, they’d recovered for what that prick Aramaki’s attack, and maybe they weren’t an Emperor’s crew anymore… but they were still respectable. 

Not that the thought gave Page a lot of happiness. He was just relieved things had gotten stable. 

“Where are you going, Pay Paaaaay…” Ulti called, swaying drunkenly as she tried to follow him. Thankfully for his nerves, she tripped over her own feet and faceplanted. 

“I’m gonna patrol the beach!” Page yelled back, picking up the pace. I don’t wanna spend my evening working around you again! Come on! He hurried to get out of her sight lines, hoping that being drunk would make her less likely to chase after him. 

Ulti had been even more clingy after the loss at Wano. He’d have to pry her off of him with a crowbar when he wanted a minute alone. He loves her, she’s his sister, but by Nika, he needs a break. He needed a break dammit! 

Once he was out of eye and earshot, Page heaved a big sigh and kicked at the sand. “Another day bites the dust,” he muttered. “I know I was never a great person, but is it too much to hope that something good might find its way into my life? Even the smallest thing?”

He’d very rarely made his own decisions. Kaido took them in, he followed the guy’s lead. Ulti smacked him around and chased away girls he liked and started fights he got dragged into. He’d followed along in tormenting the populace of Wano because that’s what everyone else was doing and he’d been afraid to stand out… and the only relief he got from the sense of being a complete chew toy was being able to vent his frustrations on someone else, anyone else, and not have it immediately bite him in the ass. 

Looking back on it, there’s a part of Page that cringed. That was all pretty pathetic in the end, wasn’t it? I might as well have looked for orphaned puppies to kick. And it never made me feel better for long, anyway. 

Man, I envy the Straw Hats. 

Page continued walking for a minute before spotting his new Captain sitting in the sand, reading a newspaper. Surprised and curious, he trotted towards the Lunarian, who wordlessly acknowledged his approach with the slight twitch of his wing. 

King looked a lot different now. He’d stopped hiding his appearance, and one of his wings still showed visible damage from Aramaki’s assault on him… he’d been half conscious after his duel with Zoro and unable to defend himself as he usually could; the doctors were seriously shocked he could still fly with that wing afterwards. Lunarian genetics truly were bullshit…you’re durable as fuck and they make you smoking hot on top of it. But that aside, there’s a visible shift in King’s face that caused Page to blink. 

There’d been a shroud of depression around King ever since Kaido died. Even when the Lunarian people were vindicated by Nika showing himself, the prophecy coming true, and the World Government as it was dismantled somewhat avenging their victims, Alber had never quite seemed to recover from the death of his only friend. It was more than his usual stoicism; he always looked tired, and sad, and… maybe lonely, too. Page couldn’t pretend that he knew King really well, even now, but he was confident of that. He could tell the guy felt as lost and alone as a child who’d woken from a nightmare to discover they’d been abandoned. 

Page could empathize with that. 

So seeing King’s expression animated… and with a look that seemed almost like cautious hope… it caught the younger pirate by surprise. 

“Hey, boss.” Page said. “What’s in the paper? You, uh, seem almost cheerful.” 

King briefly looked up from his reading and blinked twice. For a second it looked like he was going to tell Page to buzz off, or insist it was nothing - his knuckles tightened slightly on the paper. Then he relaxed and said slightly conversationally, “Monkey D Garp has decided to be a nuisance to his granddaughter again.” 

“Eh?” Page blinked, his heart skipping a beat. That granddaughter being… He nearly runs over before managing to control himself, saunting close as casually as he could muster. “I thought he was always like that to her?” 

“Not like this, I suspect.” King responded. “He wants to see her married.” 

“What?!” Page sputtered, any attempts at subtlety immediately lost in his squeaky protest and the way he stuck his head over King’s shoulder to hurriedly read the text. He appreciated that the Lunarian chose not to make fun of him. 

Sure enough, the paper was emblazoned with a headline declaring a competition for the hand of the Pirate Queen. A series of challenges that Garp himself would be overseeing and… included duelling him, oh god… with the guy who stuck it out to the end being the one who’d get to marry Luffy. 

Aka, human sunshine. A beacon of positivity. Beauty and strength and kookiness in one charming package. The only person who had ever been nice to Page, even though they’d been enemies. 

She was… she was… 

“Oh wow… that plant admiral guy was a real creep.” He lifted his head, dazed, to see the girl in the straw hat walking up to him. Her demeanor is completely different from inside the castle; there’s some disdain in her expression, but it wasn’t directed at him. “You’d already been beaten, but he attacked you when you were down! What a loser!” 

Page put a hand over his stomach, which had a number of bruises from the guy’s vines trying to crush him to death. “Isn’t that what happens in a fight?” He asked a little dismally, wondering what she wanted from them now. Was she gonna toss them to the mob to get torn apart? She’d been allied with the Kozuki loyalists, after all, and wasn’t that how they did things with enemies? 

The girl - Luffy, her name was Luffy - made a face. “Nah. That’s gross. You’d already lost; I’d just send you on your way and be done with it.” 

“Seriously? You’re not going to starve me or torture me to death or string me up by my entrails or anything?” The idea baffled him. What was even more baffling was Luffy leaned backward with a disturbed look on her face at his words. 

“Eww! No way.” She responded in disgust. “That’s not what a pirate does.” 

“It’s exactly what a pirate does!” He protested, mostly out of shock that she said that with a straight face. Then he flinched, realizing his mistake, and braced to get punched through a mountain. 

“No, a pirate is the freest person in the world,” Luffy said. And… and something about the way she said it made the hair on the back of Page’s neck stand up - like it was responding to an order. “The rest are just lousy raiding fakes.” 

“Free…? I’ve never been free.” He was the son of a pirate, a beast pirate, an executive to replace to gain power and status, a chew toy for the other executives and his sister, a tyrant, an oppressor, but never, ever free. This was his lot in life. Any other choice simply lead to him being killed by one person or another; for being a pirate, for leaving the crew that tormented him for their own amusement, for being the child of a tainted bloodline… “Not from the day I was born was I free to do what I wanted.”

He’s not sure why he told her this… and he’s not sure why he heard her suck in this little, sharp breath. So Page just hung his head and sighed, wishing she’d just… get this over with. 

Her hand grabbed his chin and brought it up so he was looking at her. There was this…weird look in her eyes; something he didn’t have words for. It was… warm. “That was your choice,” she said. “Kaido’s gone, now. You can be someone else. Who do you want to be?” 

“I-”

“Who do you want to be?” 

“Well…” No one had ever asked him that. Never. He flailed, stared, tried to think, and finally blurted out. “I wanna be someone who can be happy. Y’know… actually happy.” 

Luffy beamed at him. This bright, brilliant, beautiful smile that turned all his thoughts to ash. “Shishishi… then you should do that!” She patted him on the head, gentle and encouraging. “Don’t let anyone stop you! Unless you’re doing bad things like you did here.” She waggled a finger in front of him. “You shouldn’t do that again. I’d hate to have to beat you up. But you should never let people tell you who to be, Page. So stop doing that!”

Then she turned and skipped away as if she hadn’t shaken his world to the core. His cheeks burning like lava and his heart trying to beat its way out of her chest, Page tried to beg her to come back, but he couldn’t form the words. 

Page stared at the requirements for entry. There were… basically none. Wait, if Garp wasn’t banning pirates… where was this taking place? 

“Goa is a ways from here.” King murmured. “It would take a few days. I wonder if I have time to get there for the first round…” 

“You wanna go too?” Page asked without thinking, then cursed himself for giving away his thoughts. 

King’s violet eyes softened to a look that Page had never seen before. It was so soft, so fond, so… reverent. He could feel his chances plummeting even before his new captain nodded, and yet - he didn’t despair instantly. He still wanted to go. 

“The guys who make it to the final round have to fight Garp,” Page said. Unsure if he was trying to discourage King or remind himself of what he was up against. 

“He’s an old man.” King responded, closing the paper. “I’ll take him seriously enough, but he’s not going to be enough to stop me.” 

“Isn’t she, like, your god made manifest?” Page asked. He remembered that Luffy had talked to King too, though he hadn’t been close enough to hear what had been said between them. “Doesn’t that make marrying her a little weird?” 

“From a certain point of view…perhaps,” King acknowledged. He didn’t sound the slightest bit perturbed, though. 

“You’re still going after her, though.” Dang it. There were gonna be enough people there without Page having to work around his own freaking Captain! 

His captain uttered a soft, muted chuckle. “Yes. I suppose love makes fools out of all of us.” 

“...Yeah.” Page groaned. 

Because potential mutiny aside, he was going to try and marry Monkey D Luffy come hell or high water.

The New Foxy Pirates were doing fine. In a manner of speaking, anyway.

They still had the Sexy Foxy, although it was a fair bit less populous these days. Porche didn’t mind a fair bit more personal space, but Hamburg was a little pressed for peers to roughhouse with. That wasn’t even to mention the state Foxy himself was in.

They still technically had just enough members to play Davy Back. That was the bright side.

The only bright side.

It hadn’t even been Straw Hat’s defeat of them that had so decimated their ranks - that’d happened on Long Ring Long Island, in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. Where were the “liberated” crew members supposed to go, if not back to Foxy? What, were they supposed to wait in desperate hopes for someone else to sail along and give all five hundred of them a ride to the next island over?

No, the problem was that Foxy tried to bounce back from their loss against the Straw Hats by challenging an even more intimidating foe - and losing.

And he tried to bounce back from that loss by challenging the next crew to stumble upon them - and losing.

And once they’d seen their once-feared - and beloved! - leader screw up so many times in a row, the ties of brotherhood had… loosened. Mutinies began. If people didn’t sneak away on foes’ ships, they gathered groups of six and challenged Foxy outright for their own freedom. And, since they knew Foxy’s tricks already, it was that much harder to beat the damned upstarts!

Foxy sighed, gazing thoughtlessly up at a bright blue sky. He lounged on the Sexy Foxy’s top deck, thinking back on days of old… days when he was respected by dozens of followers, instead of playing pretend in his giant ship with two crew members.

The News Coo didn’t so much as announce itself before dropping the paper directly on his face. That was fine. It was as much respect as he demanded these days.

He couldn’t even ask himself where it’d all gone wrong. He knew where it’d all gone wrong. If only that damned Straw Hat hadn’t knocked him off his mojo some two years ago.

“I let her win,” he mumbled to himself, a familiar refrain. The paper jostled against his jaw, where it’d fallen - he hadn’t the energy even to move it. “It was the gentlemanly thing to do. Girl like that, she didn’t even know what she was doin’.”

Even after she’d won, she’d pranced away bragging about her “afro power”. Big dummy. Did she think she was cute, wearing that dumb thing? Please.

He heard Porche’s and Hamburg’s voices echoing in the silence of the massive, empty ship. He sucked in a deep, laborious breath. Well, time to pretend he was still a pirate captain… for appearance’s sake, at the very least. 

He listlessly picked his paper up off his shoulder. He folded it open. Huh, funny. He’d been thinking so hard about Straw Hat, he’d even imagined her headlining the paper.

Foxy blearily read the headline. Oh, wait, he hadn’t imagined things. That was really her. Her grandpa was offering her hand to the winner of a grand competition.

He huffed. “Big bunch of suckers,” he grumbled. Let them waste their energy on that little vixen. It’d just result in a fat lot of idiots revolting when they lost. They’d probably wreck the host island in the process.

Fat lot of idiots. Probably desperate for a win, after getting humiliated so bad. They could be fooled into damn near anything. It was exactly the kind of opportunity he’d have capitalized on, in a previous life.

Foxy stared up at the paper. He blinked slowly. And all at once, he straightened. 

Hold on, hold on. Maybe - maybe this was the perfect opportunity. And there was a race component to the competition, too - if he used his slow-slow beam and won, maybe he wouldn’t even have to sucker people into playing Davy Back! People would race to join his crew! And - and surely by now the Straw Hats were thousands strong. They’d have the pick of the damn litter for Davy Back fighters!

Foxy bounced to his feet. He dashed to the railing, calling down to the lower deck where Porche and Hamburg were arguing.

“Heads up, New Foxy Pirates!” Foxy announced, a high, maniacal laugh emerging in all his jubilation. “Set a course for Dawn Island.”

“Give it up, Foxy,” Porche pouted. “We ain’t even a crew anymore. We’re three washed-up losers in a big fuckin’ bathtub.”

Foxy barked in laughter. He tossed the paper down, uncaring at how it hit the deck and scattered. “Speak for yourself, baby! The Foxy Pirates are going back to their former soaring glory.”

Hamburg immediately leapt for joy - Porche was the one to kneel, to scoop up the newspaper and scan the headline.

He and Porche had always had similar minds for mayhem, and Foxy knew, even after their shared misfortune, that had not changed.

A devious smile spread over her lips, and Foxy knew their plan would soon be in action.

“Prithee, Yamato! Take me with you!”

Yamato struggled to drag his foot forward, being that Momonosuke was clinging to it with his entire body. “C’mon, man! You think Luffy’d wanna see you like this?!”

“I concur, milord,” Kin’emon offered, trying in whatever way he could to dislodge Momonosuke - gently, of course. “I’ve little doubt that Luffy-hime would scoff at your behavior.”

“I don’t care!” Momonosuke wailed. Tears and snot mingled in streams down his face. “I don’t wanna stay and govern! Not while milady is preparing to marry!”

“Don’t you remember what she said the last eight times you proposed to her? She doesn’t wanna marry an eight-year-old - and especially not a crybaby!”

Yamato thumped Momonosuke on the head, and Kin’emon and Tsurujo alike gasped - although granted, they didn’t stop him. Momonosuke collapsed in a heap, still weeping openly. 

“I didn’t look like this,” Momonosuke argued weakly. “... not the first seven times.”

“Still a crybaby.”

“Milord…”

Yamato squatted in front of Wano’s shogun, frowning. “As your father,” Yamato declared, poking Momonosuke in the forehead, “You’ve got a lotta growing up to do before you’re ready to be a husband.” He concluded with a grin, “and c’mon, would it even be fair? You could ace everybody by turning into a dragon!”

Momonosuke pressed his lips together. “Well, that’s hardly a cheat, I should think. It is my power to use.”

Yamato rolled his eyes, meaning to offer another argument - but Hiyori, having been sitting quietly at the back of the room, stood. As was often the case with her, the air seemed to grow still as she approached.

“Momonosuke,” she scolded gently, “Do you remember the task Luffy-hime entrusted you with?”

Momonosuke sniffed. He clearly knew what Lady Hiyori was touching upon, but he didn’t appear to like it. “... Aye, I do.”

“Do you suppose a responsible shogun - a leader - abandons his people in pursuit of love?”

At that, Yamato exchanged a look with Momonosuke, both of them with flat expressions. They could think of one shogun in particular that had - not exactly for love of an individual, but certainly for love of adventure.

“... allow me to amend the question. Do you suppose a responsible shogun abandons his people in pursuit of love, with such a noteworthy example of why not to do so?”

Momonosuke deflated. “Nay,” he sighed, and Hiyori smiled.

“Permit Sir Yamato this adventure. He has yearned for it so, and for so long.”

Yamato wiggled on the spot, fighting a smile. Finally - finally, he got to leave Wano!

“I’m not out to steal your crush from you, kiddo,” he reassured Momonosuke. It wasn’t exactly a lie - he did feel he and Luffy were kindred spirits, but he was also eager just to get out and see the world. “But c’mon, you’ve had your chance! I want mine!”

Momonosuke tugged on a lock of his hair, looking resigned. At last, he straightened, and he faced Yamato. “Go with my blessing, sir Yamato,” he said, firm. He added, a little more subdued, “And… good luck. I guess.”

Yamato beamed. He lunged forward, scooping both his kids into an elated hug - and then he dashed out of the room.

He had a good idea of who his competition would be - namely, Ace. He didn’t think he’d mind too much if Ace were to win.

But that didn’t mean Yamato was gonna give him an easy time of it!

Luffy was annoyed at her grandfather's competition to find a husband even though she was the Pirate Queen. However, it was her grandfather. She loved the old man, but he’d been a pain to deal with after she was crowned. She should've known that her grandpa would do something crazy to get her to marry a Marine, but not this crazy.

God damn it, Grandpa! Why are you so stubborn? Luffy gripped the paper. 

The other members of the Straw Hat crew were freaking out at the news - particularly Zoro and Sanji, who were seething with rage.  A competition for their queen’s hand in marriage?! Their beloved captain!? The idea that Luffy would be the trophy for the winner disgusted them. A strong aura formed around them, pulsating monstrously.

Chopper startled at their monstrous aura and ran to Robin for comfort. Robin just smiled and hugged the little reindeer, and she gave him a piece of cotton candy.

“Jeez, Luffy, I’m surprised that your grandpa is doing all of this just to marry you off,” Usopp said as he looked over her shoulder. “And I'm also surprised that he’s willing to give you away, too! He’s doesn’t seem the type!”

“I think my Grandpa is just putting this contest together so that I marry a marine. He’s been nudging me ever since we reached Laugh Tale! He still wants me to quit being a pirate.” Luffy explained, passing the crumbled papers to Nami to read. 

Nami read the article, and something caught her attention. “It's not just marines, Luffy.” Nami flipped the paper to show her captain and everyone. At the bottom of the page, another sentence was presented in a square box. “It said, ‘Anyone can compete.’ So pirates are allowed to compete, too!” 

Zoro and Sanji flinched. Pirates are allowed?! They can marry Luffy if one of them wins the tournament!? They both looked at each other intensively. Only one of them had the right to Luffy’s hand. 

“I’m a more suitable husband for Luffy,” Sanji snarled. “I can provide her with all my love and care. Plus, I can cook whatever her heart desires.”

Zoro twitched. “As if I'm going to allow that! You’re nothing but a pervert,” the swordsman snapped back. “Luffy doesn't need that! It’s her choice if she wants to get married, so stay away from her, Crappy Cook!”

“Oh, bring it on, Marimo!” Sanji barked back. Zoro readied his swords to slice the cook in half, and Sanji fell into a fighting stance. 

Nami watched the two fighting each other again, rolling her eyes. Those idiots. She turned back to Luffy, who still seemed unaware that the two were fighting over her. “Luffy, you know you’ are the Queen of the Pirates, the one with the most freedom, right? So it's your choice not to get involved with your grandpa’s tournament and not get married.” Nami patted Luffy’s head, reassuring. 

“Nami’s right, Luffy. You don't have to get married; you are the Pirate Queen and don’t need a King.” Franky puts a thumbs-up.  

Luffy tilted her head and looked at her navigator and shipwright, confused. “What are you guys talking about? I’ll still go; I think getting married wouldn't hurt. Especially when two people like each other very much.” Luffy shrugged her shoulders.

Everybody stopped. Zoro and Sanji stopped fighting.

“HHHHUUUUHHHHHH!?”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on, Luffy. You’re saying you’re okay with getting married?” Usopp waved his hands and asked Luffy with a concerned face. Luffy still looked as confused as ever. “I thought you were the type of person who would never get married? You’ve never seemed interested.”

“Well… I haven’t thought much about it, to be honest,” Luffy said, playing with her thumbs, looking down at the grass floor, and flustering slightly, which shocked everyone.

“Captain,” Robin spoke up. “You’re blushing.”

Luffy cupped her cheeks; they were warm. She felt embarrassed. Robin saw and giggled at her cute captain. 

“Do you have someone in mind, Luffy?” Robin tilted her head, curious. 

Zoro and Sanji turned their full attention to the conversation.

“Eeehhh… I mean… I used to have a crush on Shanks when I was younger, but he likes someone else and only sees me as a daughter,” Luffy said, gloomy. “But now, I don't have anyone in mind. I haven’t thought of any guys much.” Luffy admitted, tilting her head. 

Sanji twirled next to his captain, “Don’t worry, my Queen. You don’t have to think about that; you have me. A woman’s husband should be someone who can take care of her and feed her all the most delicious food-” Zoro punched Sanji’s face before the cook could finish his sentence. Sanji collapsed to the floor. 

“Would you stop harassing her?” Zoro growled. He pulled his captain close to him to protect her from the pervert chef. “She said she hadn’t thought much about anyone! So she doesn't feel much for you, Swirly-eyebrows!” 

Sanji got up, angry. He wasis going to kill the asshole this time. 

“Would you two knock it off!” Nami bashed her fists into the swordsman’s and the chef’s heads. Both of them fell to the grass floor. Nami pulled her captain towards her, away from the two brutes. Luffy still hadn't processed any of the commotion.

Nami cupped Luffy’s cheek for her full attention. “Okay, Luffy. What do you want to do?” Nami asked. “Do you or do you not want to participate in the marriage tournament? This is a question, Luffy.”

Luffy looked at her, not knowing the answer. “I don’t like how my grandpa is doing this; I think it's ridiculous,” Luffy said. “But I still don't know how I feel about my ‘marriage’ with the winner.”

“Don’t worry, Luffy,” Brook, the skeleton, said. “The tournament will start this upcoming Monday - that’s three days away. We have time to discuss what you want to do. Plus, I can meet with Laboon and his family again. YOHOHOHO!” 

“Then it's settled. We can plan what to do while sailing to Luffy’s home island.” Nami declared. “Jinbe, steer the ship to Dawn Island in the East Blue.” Then, she pointed to the reindeer doctor, who was still eating his cotton candy. “And Chopper, take Zoro and Sanji into the medical room; I think I kinda knocked them unconscious.” 

Oh, dear…

Chapter Text

The calm sea breeze washed over Dawn Island, bringing with it a sense of calm over its inhabitants, something they didn’t realise they were sorely missing after hundreds of pirates flooded onto it, overcrowding the city and beaches (think Benidorm, if you will). Who would have thought their little island could house so many people simultaneously? Except… it was at its limit. Any more of them would have pushed it over its carrying capacity. The villagers of Foosha were almost tempted to band together and throw Garp out with the rest of the pirates.

The influx of illegal acting tourists also brought about many sleepless nights for Garp because of course he was in charge of controlling the competitors, and he almost regretted this idea. He had received many stink eyes from the mayor over the last few days, and he sure knew why. No. He wanted to see his granddaughter with a spouse, and he was making it happen. If he regretted it, it would all be for naught. After all that adventure at sea, she should return to Dawn and settle down. She had given him too many heart attacks over the years, so uncaring towards his weak, old-man heart.

Nevermind. The competition was starting in a few days anyway, and she wasn’t one to chicken out, especially not after explicitly agreeing to a challenge, and Garp was looking forward to her arrival. Looking back at the list of competitors, Garp noticed a few big names he had not expected to see, some people he’d be happy to kick out if not for the contract he had made sure they all signed in his orders to his disciples.

Trafalgar D. Law, Surgeon of Death, the once-supernova pirate who took over the North Blue and, subsequently, the oceans and islands along his journey. Rumours have it that he’s close friends with the Pirate Queen, and some whisper of hidden romance between the two. Garp hopes there isn’t, because dammit, he had spent time cultivating Coby for her! But he is a D, and Ds are intrinsically attuned to one another’s state, and he’ll be damned if he lets someone, even if they are a pirate, slip through the cracks when they’re good for Luffy.

Charlotte Katakuri, once Big Mom’s enforcer, now the captain of the Charlotte pirates, second only to the Straw Hats (though many would argue, and that was but one ranking), famous for being a stoic capable of no emotions, along with his brother, Charlotte Cracker, was restored as a Sweet Commander after Katakuri came to power. The problem with the Charlottes was the rivalry between Charlotte Perospero and Katakuri. Even if he was good for his favourite (only) granddaughter, he’d have to worry about her being caught in the crossfire.

Dracule ‘Hawk Eyes’ Mihawk, once part of the Seven Warlords of the Sea before it was abolished following the downfall of the previous governmental system, now a famed recluse, frequently found duelling with Red Haired Shanks, and the Strongest Swordsman in the World before he stepped down a few years ago. Why he signed up confused Garp to no end. Why was this man, who was ten years younger than Dragon, competing for Luffy’s hand in marriage?

King, the past right-hand man of Kaido, the King of the Beasts, and the current captain of the Beast pirates, had sent a messenger ahead to inform Garp of their inevitable delay. Never, in all his years as a Vice Admiral, had he expected King, a legendary Lunarian, possibly (if not definitely) the last Lunarian alive, as far as Garp knew, to be someone who concerned himself with trivial things such as competing for his granddaughter’s hand in marriage. However, he should have expected this when the sunshine incarnate spent a month in Wano.

Well.

At least he found comfort in the fact that their party would be arriving late. He supposed he could live with it if King did end up winning. After all, the new Beast pirates were much tamer in comparison with the old crew led by Kaido, and there was a chance Garp could manipulate them into working for the Marines … Garp dismissed the idea. Not only would it push Luffy away, but it would also be counterintuitive, what with the current weakened Marine force. On the likely chance that they refused, they would have hell to pay in PR.

He would win a tolerable son-in-law.

Now, wasn’t that a lovely thought? If the groom had to be a pirate, he supposed King wasn’t such a lousy candidate. He was polite, responsible, even in their hierarchical society, and good-looking, everything he was looking for except a Marine position. Why did King not apply to be … Oh. Wait. The Marines tortured him. That makes sense. How Garp wished King were a Marine. He would die happy if only King weren’t a pirate.

Next on the list was Coby! His only protégé. One would argue that Helmeppo counted as his other protégé, and to that I say: shhhh, let Garp have this moment. How he adored him; Coby embodied the spirit of the Marines, and when he was still a rookie, he threw himself into training with a passion Garp had only seen in the Ds, so much that he wondered whether the boy was an unknown descendant of one branch. But that won’t matter to him.

At the end of the day, Coby was the superior candidate, no matter his heritage, and Garp will be rooting for him.

“Garp-san! There’s urgent news!”

Talk of the devil, although by no means is he one.

“Coby! What is it? Did those scoundrels set fire to the Woop Slap’s house again? You know I can’t deal with all of them, no matter how hard the man wants to believe.” This was not what he wanted to do when he applied to be a marine all those years ago, and damn it, Woop Slap was getting on his nerves.

“What, no!” Coby seemed genuinely shocked that that was what his mentor assumed of this visit. “And sir, what is that list on the table, and why does it have my name on it? Am I in trouble?”

“Of course not! I would have called you into my office sooner had that been the case. No, my boy. This is the list of participants for the competition. That’s why it’s so long.”

“... I do not remember signing up for that. Did Helmoppo do it on my behalf?”

“No, I did.” Ah, the pure horror on the boy’s face was so worth the overtime that came with this event.

“S-sir! Isn’t this event to compete for the chance to marry the Pirate Queen, your granddaughter, if I’m not mistaken?”

“You are quite correct. I simply cannot think of a better candidate than you! All those pirates; you’ve seen how they disrupt the day-to-day life of this village. Who knows what could happen if my dear granddaughter had to marry one of those rascals? No, no, no. It would be so much better if you were to be the one winning this. It would be hard, of course, but I trust in my training. I trust you can persevere, and if you do make it to the final round…”

Garp could see it clearly in his mind’s eye. “I’ll replace it with the wedding itself.”

“Wait… What were you going to tell me?”

“Oh, that the Strawhats are here.”

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU START WITH THAT?!”

“SIR, PLEASE LET ME REMIND YOU THAT YOU ASSUMED MAYOR WOOP SLAP’S HOUSE GOT BURNED DOWN! AGAIN, AND THOUGHT THAT WAS URGENT NEWS!”

“Ooh yeah, I did.”

“Ne Luffy, we’ve never really heard you speak of Foosha before. What’s it like?” Nami had some expectations, being from a similarly small island, yet so different, and Nami would have profited so much had she discovered Dawn Island before she met Luffy. A small homey village on the other side of a city? With a forest? It was a thief’s dream. Maybe she could have avoided the whole incident with Arlong. It was also exciting to be able to see their captain’s past, the environment that helped shape her into who she is today.

“There's nothing much; it has a lot of windmills, and the most you could do is have a drink. But there is a lot of food in the forest. They're huge! And I haven't seen anything so huge in the entire Grand Line! I used to stay with the bandits, and I kept getting hit. But that was bef-”

“NUDES! NUDES EVERYWHERE! ON THE BEACH! AAAAAAAA”

“WHERE?! ARE THOSE LADIES?! EHEHE!”

“BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!”

“AAAAAAAH SANJI IS CRITICALLY LOW ON BLOOD AND NEEDS AN EMERGENCY TRANSFUSION! WHERE DID I PLACE THE BLOOD BAGS?!”

“AND THEY'RE WINKING AT US! THEY'RE FLASHING THEIR MUSCLES! LET'S GET THEM ZORO!”

“First lesson in being a swordsman. Humility. And they dare grab a sword without that? They're asking for this.”

“WAIT. No, Luffy, we're almost there. Just wait a bit more.”

“But Namiiiiiii! They-they’re challenging us!”

“You'll have just as much time to get back at them when we dock. We're almost there.” Nami barely finished calming Luffy down when she saw something flash at the edge of her vision. She was looking at a swordfight a second later. It was the other resident idiot.

“That stupid ape couldn't learn to be a bit more patient? He goes on with his swordsman’s ethic, but doesn't he know that patience is a virtue? He. Will. Pay. For. Making. Me. Look. Foolish.”

“DON'T WORRY, NAMI-CHWAN, I WILL FIGHT HIM FOR YOU!”

“YOU DON'T GET TO TALK EITHER, YOU IDIOTIC PERVERT!”

“Don't worry, Zoro! I'm coming too!”

“LUFFY! NOOOO!”

“WHAT did I tell you about patience?” Nami keeps saying she's tired of their shenanigans, but each time, they take advantage of what little kindness she has. It was ruining her street cred! Why couldn't they think of that? Now, everyone will think the Pirate Queen’s crew was made up of a bunch of people coasting by with the Queen's power. Huh, people would underestimate her, so it'll be easier to steal that hard-earned berry.

“Owwwww my ear! I'm sworry, Nami, but Zoro needed help!”

“AND YOU! I can't believe I still have to say this. You're ruining all of our reputations like this! Now they'll say we're easy to rile up!”

“You're not the boss of me, woman.”

“How dare you say that to the beautiful Nami-chan, Mosshead!”

“So what, Curly-brows?”

“So what?! SO WHAT?! YOU-”

“Stop fighting, you two. See? Luffy’s grandpa is over there!” Thank god for Franky. She didn't know how she was going to deal with all these dumbasses without him.

“Luffy! My girl! How long has it been? BWAHAHAHAHA”

“Grandpa! I did not consent to having this competition hosted!”

“But my dear girl, it's been months since you were made the Pirate Queen! And you have so many suitors, it's also about time you settled!”

“But this is for a marriage! It's not just to find me a partner, it's to tie me to someone!”

“Oh. Well… I might have… gotten… ahead of myself.” The last part was murmured, and one could barely make out the words.

“Ugh. Fine! Okay! I’m-

-going along with this dumb idea of yours.” NOT FINISHED

-going to make Sanji enter the competition.” NOT FINISHED

-going to make Zoro enter the competition.” NOT FINISHED

-going to enter the competition myself!” NOT FINISHED

-going to make both Sanji and Zoro enter the competition." (Suggested by Albion_Hollowheart, Wooloop5795, Portugas_D_Jasmine, and CypressRiverblade) NOT FINISHED

-going to enter along with Sanji and Zoro." (Suggested by Mascarada101) NOT FINISHED

(For more choices, comment your idea)