Work Text:
Cocaine's gonna fix my marriage
It's the best thing I've done
Keeps away bad feelings
And lets me be more fun.
Sober makes me bitter, angry,
Terrified, and weak -
Imperfections, misery
Laid bare for all to see.
Self-medicate, take shortcuts
Treatment's too much work
They dig too deep, leave gaping wounds,
No solutions, only hurt.
My wife goes to bed crying
In the old guest room.
I'm outside with no clothes on
Shrieking at the moon.
I'm not what she asked for
I'll never be enough
There's such a gulf from where I should be
To where I've ended up.
I break down in the shower.
I throw up at my job.
I'm screaming at my children.
I'm lying to my boss.
In me's something violent,
Vile, thrashing, grotesque.
It's all I can do to hold it back
From bursting through my chest.
The drugs ain't gonna fix it
But damn does it feel right.
Might as well just end it now
and hang myself tonight.