Chapter Text
Arceus can Smite me for all I care
#general
11:32 AM
ImGayeFiteMe: @everyone i don't care if the mods ban me but loooooook!!!
pww.bloggr/me-and-the-gremlins-roadtrip!!!/homepage.com
screwGravity: Is that Top Coordinator Dawn's bloggr account?
ImGayeFiteMe: YEP! AND LOOK WHO SHE'S WITH!!!
CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER: SINNOH SQUAD HYPPEEEEE
nerdicusmaximus: o shit the sinnoh squad? Cynthias gonna be getting grays
CurryorBust: it's spelt grey, dickhead
nerdicusmaximus: what cant accept that the URA spelling is used for the Universal language, Galarian?
CurryorBust: I will shove my bloody laddle right up your arsehole.
JokerDucker: If I hear one more arceus damned argument over spelling in this fucking conspiracy theorist server then I'm kicking you both the fuck out.
CurryorBust: sozz mod
nerdicusmaximus: Sorry moderator
Thiccthighssavlives: Wait the Sinnoh Squad? Who are they?
CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHO THE SINNOH SQUAD ARE?! THEYRE FAMOUS
pipluppride: lol someone left the caps lock on
CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER: SCREW ARCEUS, ILL SMITE YOU INSTEAD
pipluppride: please do
AlmightyLeader: @ CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER turn off your caps before I kick you out @ pipluppride don't antagonise them.
pipluppride: sorry boss
nerdicusmaximus: @thiccthighssavlives to answer your question, the Sinnoh Squad is a fan name for the travelling group of friends consisting of three people. The first, and owner of the blogg fiteme linked is Dawn Minh, Top Coordinator and daughter of Johanna Minh who also became Top Coordinator in her youth. Dawn is quite popular in the Coordinator circuit due to her bubbly personality and diverse team of Pokémon at her disposal, compared to other Coordinators who only use “cutesy” Pokémon. She's the head honcho of the online side of the trio.
Then there is Brock Harrison, originally a trainee Pokémon Breeder but now a licenced Pokémon Doctor. Used to be the Gym Leader of Pewter City explaining his large numbers of Rock Type Pokémon in his team. Leading us to…
The final member is Ash Ketchum, Alola Region and World Champion/World Monarch depending where in the world you are. Strongest trainer in the world and the youngest to hold two separate Championship titles (the PWC didn't exist until Leon was 20). And yet despite all that, his Ace is a fucking Pikachu of all things.
thiccthighssavlives: holy shit dude
ImGayeFiteMe: well ya did ask
Pikapika: Whomst dare talk smack about Pikachu?
ImGayeFiteMe: GRAMMPS!!!
screwGravity: Oh hey grandad
CurryorBust: hey grandpa
Pikapika: I'm not old.
CurryorBust: you type like it geezer
Pikapika: Oh, so proper grammar and punctuation is now the same as being old?
ImGayeFiteMe: yes
CurryorBust: yes
CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER: YES
Pikapika: I hate you kids, I swear.
AlmightyLeader: I have checked the logs old man, you have never fucking sworn in your entire time here
Pikapika: I have only been in this server a year though…
CurryorBust: Thats more then enough time to have fucking lost it on us
Pikapika: Language.
CurryorBust: Sorry sir.
ImGayeFiteMe: holy Mew that kind of power. please teach me your ways
Pikapika: Of course, however I was summoned for a reason. I will ask again… whomst. Disrespected. The. Name. Of. Pikachu?
screwGravity: @ nerdicusmaximus
nerdicusmaximus: you bitch
Pikapika: You will take back that language or I'll make sure you regret being born, child.
nerdicusmaximus: meep
Pikapika: Secondly, you will not disrespect ANY Pokémon in front of me, regardless of your stupid biassed views on appearance in relation to strength. ESPECIALLY regarding Pikachu. Is. That. Clear?
nerdicusmaximus: yessir sorrysir wonthappenagainsir
Pikapika: … Good. Then let's not dwell on that.
CurryorBust: There are days i forget the true god of this universe is the server gramps xhlkgzkzgk.
Pikapika: Please don't compare me to that llama failure, I have much higher standards than that, thank you.
ImGayeFiteMe: Gramps’ Hatred of arceus aside, I'm sorry the tiny rat boy is WHAT?!
screwGravity: Tiny rat boy? Oh you mean Ketchum
JokerDucker: dude how do you not know about the PWC and the big fallout that was Knight VS Ketchum XX23?
nerdicusmaximus: well if you technically Want to be official… Its Ketchum Ortega.
screwGravity: Double surnames? Parents don't get on then?
nerdicusmaximus: he's half Paldeól, maternal side. they have double surnames.
screwGravity: Ahhhh… wait how do you know this?
CurryorBust: cos geek studied trainer profiles during the PWC instead of, ya know, actually giving a shit about the battles. still sucks Leon lost tho.
ImGayeFiteMe: Wasn't dude going around saying I'm unbeatable every 10 seconds? Karma is a wonderful bitch.
nerdicusmaximus: trust you to know the gossip but not the everything else behind this years PWC
JokerDucker: Oh yeah, @ AlmightyLeader, aren't you Alolan or some shit. Heard there was a huge public outcry over there due to a show?
AlmightyLeader: Yeah, the showrunners talking about the top 4 gave Cynthia, Diantha and Leon glowing reviews… and then fucking called our champion the underdog and slandered his battle style. Jokes on them he won the whole thing.
CurryorBust: I hated that too. I get that he's younger than the rest, but both Champion Ash and Champion Iris are bloody fucking prodigal. Imagine being babey age and going toe to toe with seasoned champs who have been at it far longer.
JokerDucker: the PWC is notorious for being shits to new champions. Remember when Steven and Wallace first swapped over?
screwGravity: Oh Mew yeah, they said his outfit was too revealing for the kiddies and Coordinators should keep to their lane.
nerdicusmaximus: the hosts for PWC shows and interviews are employed by the World Monarch/World Champion’s home region. So for the past 7 years, its all been Galarian run and of course they want their undefeatable Champion to look the best of all the contestants.
pipluppride: yep, that would do it
ImGayeFiteMe : @ CurryorBust is that true?
CurryorBust: yeah. The wankers on telly are pissed Leon's perfect image was ruined by a teenager with a rat that has to be a god in disguise. Been bitching about it all this time…
CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER: WAIT, DOES THAT MEAN ALOLA IS HOSTING NEXT YEAR?!
AlmightyLeader: Yeah, Chairman Kukui has already made the announcement. Manalo Stadium. I'm waiting for them to drop tickets ASAP
pipluppride: why not just watch it on TV?
AlmightyLeader: you have obviously never been live to an Ash match. Kids incredible, the atmosphere fucking electrifies and his signature Z move? perfection.
CurryorBust: my da got tickets to the final match, Zacian was it worth it. Best battle of the entire season!!!
pipluppride: anyway lol tldr tiny rat kid beat unbeatables ass with the power of friendship and an actual rat god. does this help?
ImGayeFiteMe: Yes, yes it does
AlmightyLeader: Glad we were able to sort one thing out.
CurryorBust: @ AlmightyLeader im curious. How did Alolan media cover the nuclear fallout?
AlmightyLeader: what fallout? We were celebrating like there was no tomorrow. street parties, festivals. Our media was saying this victory put Alola on the battle circuit map.
nerdicusmaximus: there has been an unnatural bias against Alolan trainers, many people on the battle circuit just see you guys as weak and not used to a typical fight. No offense
AlmightyLeader: None taken. Apart from Chairman Kukui taking on the Kanto Elite 4 only to get his ass handed by Champion Lance, most Alola trainers don't leave the islands because of the fact that those who do get mocked into oblivion and quit after it affects their career.
CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER: BUT YOUR CHAMPION ISNT EVEN ALOLAN. DOESNT THAT LIKE ENFORCE THAT SHIT.
AlmightyLeader: When the entire region and the gods of said region adopt you, that makes you one of them.
ImGayeFiteMe: Wait what?
AlmightyLeader: The Tapu literally claimed Ketchum the moment he stepped foot on Alolan sands, then the Chairman and Professor Burnet formally adopted him as their first kid. like ask any random Alolan, they'll say he's one of us.
CurryorBust: Imagine being so beloved by an entire region that they claim you as theirs and tell Kanto to fuck off, he's ours lol
nerdicusmaximus: Claimed by the Tapu, literal gods of Alola… @ screwGravity your theory that Ash Ketchum is a deity in disguise may hold merit.
screwGravity: FUCK YEAH
Pikapika: Language.
screwGravity: BUT CURRY SWORE TOO.
Pikapika: Curry is Galarian and thus naturally swears every other word. I now realise I can't stop cultural inheritance.
CurryorBust: fuck yeah
JokerDucker: Thats just an assumption based on a stereotype.
Pikapika: …
Pikapika: Well I can see you've never been to Galar in your life.
JokerDucker: and you have gramps?
Pikapika: Yes, actually, multiple times. Heard a swear word every ten seconds. Awfully impolite if you ask me.
CurryorBust: And this be why we call you gramps you old fart
Pikapika: I would understand, however I know of multiple ways to threaten someone which don't include profanities and are just as, if not are more, effective.
CurryorBust: I am doubling down on my theory that you ARE the True god of all
Pikapika: I can confirm I am nothing of the sort.
Thiccthighssavlives: Back to the priginal topic at hand, so the Sinnoh Squad is made up of a licenced Pokémon Doctor, a Top Coordinator and Influencer, and the Strongest trainer and ultimate girlboss Champion. Damn that is one OP Ass Squad
nerdicusmaximus: omg you did not call Ash Ketchum a girlboss
Thiccthighssavlives: I said what I said coward
ImGayeFiteMe: holy shit That tiny twink literally is the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss
Pikapika: Sometimes this server is worse than Chatter, I swear.
AlmightyLeader: And yet you've never sworn once Gramps.
Pikapika: Don't tempt me.
Arceus can Smite me for all I care
#general
2:56 PM
ImGayeFiteMe: OK so its been a week but I have update!!!
pww.bloggr/wardrobe-update!!!/homepage.com
ImGayeFiteMe: Dawn is So pretty
nerdicusmaximus: cough cough gay cough cough
ImGayeFiteMe: Real original dumbass.
Thiccthighssavlives: I did not think Dawn Minh wearing a white dress, yellow giant jacket and a cap would do anything to me but it does.
pipluppride: she's the OG piplup stan, ofc anything she wears makes her look pretty
CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER: YOURE ONLY SAYING THAT COS YOU LIKE PIPLUP, NOT HER!!!
pipluppride: guilty as charged
ImGayeFiteMe: wait where's curry, she'd like to see this. YO @ CurryorBust
AlmightyLeader: she has an exam Today so won't be on until later, remember?
ImGayeFiteMe: oh shit yeah, my bad
screwGravity: Ok but fuck you lot for focusing on Dawn and not the guys, they have new drip too.
Thiccthighssavlives: really? Oh yeah you right. Damn ive never seen an image of Brock in long sleeves.
Username=peakcomedy: god i miss his shirtless days.
ImGayeFiteMe: Hey dude, where were you? Thought youd joined the lurkers or something.
Username=peakcomedy: was on holiday for two weeks with no wifi access, some spirtual retreat in Johto. Mom wanted to mend the family or some shit.
screwGravity: did it work?
Username=peakcomedy: Nope.
screwGravity: Damnn
Username=peakcomedy: anyway enough about the tragedy that is my family life, back to the men
ImGayeFiteMe: And yet I'm the token gay of the server?
screwGravity: yes
Thiccthighssavlives: yep
Username=peakcomedy: yes.
AlmightyLeader: of course
pipluppride: yes ma'am
CHIMCHARBESTSTARTER: YESSS
Pikapika: Yes.
pipluppride: damn even gramps came on to call you out. dedication.
ImGayeFiteMe: Shut up
Username=peakcomedy: holy shit.
ImGayeFiteMe: What now?
Username=peakcomedy: i took a closer look at the photo, not just because Ketchums finally out of his PJ era and back in his smol slut one, but holy shit he has a phone.
screwGravity: HOLY SHIT THE COUNTRY BUMPKIN HAS A PHONE?!
ImGayeFiteMe: Curry really would want to be here, damn.
AlmightyLeader: @ Username=peakcomedy are you sure?
Username=peakcomedy: I enlarged the image, it absol-fucking-lutely is
Thiccthighssavlives: Wait is someone gonna elaborate on smol slut era?
ImGayeFiteMe: Look up any of Ash's battles in Kalos, you will see in 10 seconds
Thiccthighssavlives: OK I dunno how that will explain…
ImGayeFiteMe: Give it a second.
Thiccthighssavlives: oh… OH
ImGayeFiteMe: There we go
nerdicusmaximus: thirsting over a teenager with regular training attire aside, isn't Ketchum a known technophobe. there have been literal articles of high tech machinery bursting into flame when he so much as looks at it.
Username=peakcomedy: WELL OBVIOUSLY NOT, NERD
ImGayeFiteMe: Oh shit he has a phone… He'll find out what the battle circuit fandom thinks of him… and thirsters.
screwGravity: oh dear Mew that boy will be scarred for life.
Pikapika: Bold of you to assume he doesn't already know about how fandoms act.
Thiccthighssavlives: What makes you say that old man?
Pikapika: He is friends with multiple celebrities, including multiple online influencers like Dawn Minh, May Petalburg and Serena Dubois. His friends would probably have mentioned it to him before now.
ImGayeFiteMe: Oh shit the old man is right.
Username=peakcomedy: yeah But now he has full access to the Poke Wide Web!!! If he finds the Kalos thirst posts I'm dying.
Pikapika: Once again, bold of you to assume he hasn't been shown them by his more tech savvy friends.
screwGravity: Oh shit we're doomed.
ImGayeFiteMe: I LITERALLY MADE MY ONLY MALE FORM APPERICATION POST ON THE GUY, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!
nerdicusmaximus: unless you posted about his outfits or the “Slut” kick, you'll be fine.
ImGayeFiteMe: …
Thiccthighssavlives: omg you absolutely did.
ImGayeFiteMe: SO DID YOU!!!
Thiccthighssavlives: yeah but im proud of my postings, plural, about that flexible split kick.
ImGayeFiteMe: djtkslyerjaoydjea
nerdicusmaximus: I am in a server full of idiots
Username=peakcomedy: wait wait wait. If he has a phone now, does that mean he has a secret social media account?
screwGravity: U RITE
ImGayeFiteMe: Imagine if he like had the most popular fandom or troll account and no one knew it was him.
Thiccthighssavlives: I would fucking die if that was the case.
Pikapika: If he did, don't worry, it is highly unlikely that he would be anywhere near this server.
Username=peakcomedy: You sure old timer?
Pikapika: As long as you stop calling me that, then yes I would expect so. :)
ImGayeFiteMe: PIKA USED HIS FIRST EMOJI, IM SO FUCKING PROUD.
screwGravity: damn old man aint an old man anymore
Username=peakcomedy: was that smiley so threatening
Pikapika: Because it was meant to be.
Pikapika: Anyway, a celebrity getting a brand new device should not be a talking point of this server unless someone has a conspiracy theory about it. Now has anyone else given more thought to Goh Hendricks being an eldritch being that can guarantee a 100% catch rate with a standard Poké Ball?
The Three Stooges
3:46 PM
Moe: Ash, I know you're trolling those gremlin kids. Get off that server and talk to me you bum
Curly: Dawn, I am not a bum.
Larry: You two can talk naturally, you know? Like, with your mouths?
Moe: shuddup brock
Curly: Shut up, Brock
Larry: Teenagers I swear
Curly: Brock, you were a teenager when we met. And you were just hormone central.
Moe: Holy shit, did you hit a dictionary since we travelled?
Curly: I got an education, Dawn, with an actual teacher. Not just a salty adult who wants to use work as an excuse to abuse children.
Moe: jlcjfsitsoyddyostyrp
Larry: Professor Kukui and Professor Burnet did you a world of good.
Curly: You mean Makuakāne and Makuahine.
Larry: Oh yes, I forgot.
Moe: Ash you polylingual slut, tell me what that means.
Curly: ‘a‘ole
Moe: Well fuck you too you Kantonian knock off
Curly: My Tía and Abuela can kick your ass with la chancla, Dawn, don't tempt me.
Larry: Ash stop antagonising Dawn in Alolan and Paldeól. Dawn, stop… being you for a second.
Curly: No.
Moe: Nah.
Larry: Teenagers I swear.
Moe: Brocko, stop being a dramatic bitch and go tend to the pancakes, they're burning.
Larry: OH SHIT
Moe: lol
Curly: Dawn, Brock isn't even cooking anything.
Moe: what he doesnt Know wont hurt him
Curly: And people call you the sweet, bubbly, girl next door Sinnoh Idol. If only they knew.
Moe: who me?
Curly: I can see you batting your eyelashes creepily, stop it or I'll tell your girlfriend.
Moe: She doesn't even listen to you on that shit.
Curly: Oh I know.
Moe: … Ash, what are you up to you bastard?
Curly: Who me?
Moe: Ash Marina Ketchum Ortega you will fucking tell me what you're doing
Moe: I see you texting Bitch, start talking.
Moe: Huh, Zoey's calling me…. What did you do
Curly: I told Zoey the truth.
Moe: WHAT TRUTH?!
Curly: That you called Wallace a slut.
Moe: BUT HE IS.
Curly: You know Zoey doesn't agree with slander towards Coordinators. Have fun!
Moe: Oh imma get you back bitch
Curly: Good luck trying.
Username
@Username
Imagine calling the Co-Champion of Hoenn a slut when your girlfriend is a Coordinator Mega-stan. Couldn't be me, LOL.
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