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Buck is bored out of his mind. He’s simply not capable of sitting still, of doing nothing, of just resting, despite having been forced on bed rest multiple times in his life due to his injuries.
He’s currently sitting on the edge of his bed, with one leg bent underneath him and waiting for his breakfast order to arrive. It’s not something he’s used to, it’s just that he didn’t want to cook. His best friend has forced him to stay home because of a stupid flu and headache and he’s been sulking for at least a hour because of that. He couldn’t be bothered with preparing breakfast.
He hopes some healthy pancakes and a fresh, fancy orange juice will keep him entertained enough to forget that he should be on a twelve hour shift right now.
That, however, doesn’t happen. So he starts texting Eddie, the culprit.
Actually, he starts firing so many texts that Eddie’s phone is about to blow up, catching everyone’s attention at the station.
He looks away from his conversation with Hen to check it, getting a raised eyebrow from the woman.
“Who’s that?” she teases him, thinking of some kind of date, probably.
Eddie sighs, suppressing a smile. “Buck, bored out of his mind,” he explains.
Eddieeeeeee
I’m bored, Eddie
Talk to me
He probably can’t stop the flush that creeps up on him when he reads yet another message.
Entertain me, I know you can do it
Hen’s frown only deepens, “and what is he texting you about?” she asks, trying to read some of the messages.
Eddie, though, is quick to lock his phone, only to see two more texts appear in the notification box.
Eddieeee
Edmundo.
“Oh, hell no. Not Edmundo,” he mutters, turning away from Hen to get some privacy.
Don’t you dare he’s quick to type.
“You two are so weird!” Hen hollers.
I am fine, I should be working Eddie reads next and has to suppress the urge to facepalm.
You’re not fine, Buck, your nose is running and your head’s been hurting since yesterday he types back.
He’s forced to shove the phone back into his pocket soon after that though, because the bell rings.
He finds another set of texts as soon as they come back from the call and finds himself smiling like a lovesick teenager, with his face covered in soot and no interest in racing to the shower.
So what?
I’m very capable of functioning with a headache
I don’t remember hearing any complaints while I fucked you
Also, statistically, the flu has never killed a firefighter before
Or has it?
Oh
I probably have to check that
But anyway
Eddieeee
He’s smiling and chuckling at his screen and will deny it till his last breath but some part of Buck’s rambling makes his heart flutter, even if it’s just through text messages. Though he doesn’t need to be reminded of their bedroom activity while the whole team is watching him closely.
“Diaz, you gonna shower anytime soon?” Bobby is in fact asking soon, making him snap out of his trance.
“Y- yeah, yes. Sure, I’m- yeah,” he stutters, while Hen and Chimney chuckle.
Buck. he just types, before going to shower.
You’re ignoring me is the next thing he reads, some time later, when they’re having lunch.
“So…” Chimney drags out, trying and failing to hide a smirk.
“So?” Eddie immediately mumbles, feigning innocence.
“What’s up with Buck?” Hen asks, trying to stay as serious as possible.
“Nothing is up!”
And probably Eddie is to blame for their next round of questions, for how quickly he answers and how defensively he’s acting.
“You two have definitely something going on!” Chimney exclaims, pointing a finger at him and trying to get their teammates — yes, Bobby as well — to agree with him.
“What?” Eddie frowns, his face does a funny thing because really?
“Come on, Eddie! Buckaroo has been texting you nonstop,” Hen smiles, pretending to be interested into the food Bobby prepared.
Eddie shrugs, “he’s home with a flu, you know how he gets when he can’t work,” he nonchalantly tells them.
He certainly is not going to tell their whole team about the whole friends with benefits arrangement that he and Buck got going on. He wouldn’t. Ever.
Also, he wouldn’t even know how to explain what they have going on. They’re friends, the best of friends, who occasionally have sex, amazing, mind blowing sex. So? What would the issue be? There would be no issue if Eddie weren’t head over heels in love with Buck, if Buck weren’t so adamant on cuddling with him after, not letting him go for any reason, if Buck didn’t whisper sweet nothings into his ear while they both come down from their highs, if —
No, he’ll never discuss whatever arrangement he’s got going on with his best friend.
“He gets a bit… antsy,” instead he adds, shrugging, hoping to get them off his back.
But Ravi frowns, “and why is he pestering you?” he asks.
“Because this fine man here,” Chimney interjects, clapping Eddie’s shoulder, “ordered him to stay home.”
Ravi is about to ask why Eddie did that and why Buck listened to him, but the bell rings once again, saving Eddie.
This time, though, he thinks that Buck will probably like to know that they’re headed to a house fire. So on a call atm, talk to you soon he texts Buck, and his heart rate does absolutely not skip a beat over the stay safe please which he receives from his friend, thank you very much.
The call is actually more grueling than he expected it to be, to be honest, so Eddie doesn’t have the energy to question the flutter he feels between his heart and his stomach when he finds another string of texts coming from Buck, as soon as they’re back at the firehouse.
You still coming over, right?
Bring me a blanket
It’s cold
I miss you
Eddie
I want to go home
Are you safe?
I’m sleepy
I want you
He stares at the screen for a bit too long probably, a frown that deepens with every message he reads, and he thinks he’ll get a goddamn aneurysm when he sees Hen and Chimney who are approaching him.
He won’t take any more teasing, he’s tired and now worried about Buck, because the loft isn’t cold, Buck shouldn’t want to be covered in a blanket, because he wants to go home and Eddie guesses that home is his own house, and he doesn’t have time to unpack that.
Also, it’s been ten minutes since they’ve parked the engine and Buck doesn’t answer his texts.
To say that he’s scared out of his mind is an understatement, even if, on some level, he knows that he’s exaggerating.
But, he’s seen that man almost die (without counting the lightning strike that ultimately brought them into their current predicament) more times than he likes to count, so he thinks he’s allowed to worry.
Hen finds him some time later, as he’s trying to call Buck.
“Hey,” she gently says, sitting next to him on the bench in the locker room.
“Hey,” Eddie only manages to reply. His fourth call has just gone unanswered.
“Come eat something?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Buck is okay, you know?”
Eddie sighs, resisting the urge to call Buck for the fifth time.
“I know. It’s just that he had this stupid headache yesterday night and maybe I shouldn’t have-” he starts to say but then cuts himself off.
He shouldn’t have started to languidly kiss his neck while they were just cuddling on Buck’s bed, his hand shouldn’t have slipped under Buck’s shirt and over the muscles of his stomach, reaching the hem of his boxers, because that led them to —
He pinches his nose with his left hand’s fingers. “I probably should have checked him out,” he settles on.
“Checked him out? Eddie, he didn’t have a concussion,” Hen smiles, maybe chuckles a bit. Her hand lands on his friend’s shoulder, squeezing gently.
“What are you worrying about? He’s probably doing some research or watching some weird documentary…”
“He said he was sleepy.”
Eddie is almost sure he is pouting. He’s glad his son is nowhere near him because this would be an embarrassing sight.
“So he’s probably sleeping,” Hen suggests.
Eddie shrugs again, not convinced in the slightest.
“I should check on him now, though, and I’m stuck at work,” he whines.
Hen laughs and he looks at her like she’s crazy.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’ve never been like this with Karen.”
“Well I don’t remember Karen ever been dead before,” Eddie says before he can stop himself, talking with his hands, rising one eyebrow.
Hen giggles, “so you’re not even denying it, oh my God,” she says.
“I’m denying wh-”
Eddie realizes what she’s trying to say when it’s too late, when a blush has creeped up on his face.
“We’re not like that,” he states, revealing more and more without even trying.
“Yeah, yeah, you tell yourself that, Edmundo,” Hen teases him, but eventually leaves him alone, telling him he should eat something with the rest of the team after the hard call they had.
Eddie is left to groan, wondering why everyone seems to want to call him Edmundo that day.
He survives the rest of his shift without getting a single answer from Buck, he’s dying to get in the truck and drive to his friend’s loft breaking more than one traffic law. And he does.
The loft is quiet when he gets inside with his key.
“Buck? It’s me,” he calls, before noticing that whatever he must be doing, Buck is doing it upstairs.
“Buck?” he softly says again, while he’s going up the stairs.
Buck doesn’t answer though and Eddie’s heart starts beating in double time.
He tries to remind himself that he’s overreacting, that Buck is probably just fine. He could be listening to music, for all he knows.
Buck is sleeping, though. So “Buck…” Eddie finds himself whispering while he sits on the edge of the bed next to the other man’s body.
The first thing Eddie notices is that Buck is hot to the touch. He’s so hot that Eddie can feel it through the thick blanket, so it doesn’t take much to figure out that he must be running a fever.
He tries to gently shake him, to wake him up. Buck slowly opens his eyes after some seconds that feel like a lifetime to this exceptionally dramatic version of Eddie and lifts his head to look at his best friend.
“‘die…” he mumbles, smiling like a fool before closing his eyes again.
Eddie’s heart skips a beat, “Buck! Hey, hey Buck- shit, open those eyes, c’mon!” he says, insistently.
“I’m tired, Eddie,” Buck replies, mumbling as he tries to hide in his pillow. “Wanna sleep.”
And listen, if it were any other day of Eddie Diaz’s life, he would probably let Buck sleep, he would probably check his temperature and leave him be, but Eddie has been on edge since the moment he left the loft more than twelve hours before, so no, he won’t let Buck sleep.
He gently puts a hand between Buck’s cheek and his pillow in order to turn the other man’s face towards him. “You’re not okay, wake up,” he pleads.
And when Buck — as expected — does not cooperate, he puts both hands on his shoulders and forces him into a seated position.
That snaps Buck out of his slumber. He pouts and Eddie wishes he didn’t find him so adorable.
“I hate you,” Buck murmurs softly, rubbing his eyes and finally looking at Eddie who starts breathing again.
His relief dies soon though, as soon as Buck’s body goes completely lax in his embrace.
He seems barely conscious and Eddie won’t be proud of himself later but he’s calling Hen before he even realizes.
“Eddie? Everything alright?” she asks, some seconds later.
“No.”
She can clearly hear Eddie’s labored breathing and on any other day she’d immediately assume that something horrible had happened. Now, she knows exactly that the only concern that her teammate can be calling her about is the one and only Evan Buckley.
“What happened?”
Eddie fumbles for the right words but all he manages to say is a strangled “uh-” followed by a groan.
“Eddie?”
“Hen, Buck... Buck is- Hen-”
Hen chuckles and Eddie would love to remind her that this is absolutely not the time.
“Eddie? Remember to breathe, will you?” she suggests.
“I am,” Eddie frustratedly replies, before she can hear him saying something to Buck that she can’t quite make out.
“No you are not. Anyway,” she adds pointedly, “you were an army medic, Eddie. Remember?”
“Yeah but-”
“Oh God, Eddie! Buck will be fine, okay? Bye.”
Eddie looks at the phone in the hand he isn’t using to support Buck as if Hen could magically appear at any given moment and completely baffled that his friend has basically left him to fend for himself.
“Okay…” he mutters then, completely discarding the phone, and turning his attention to Buck.
“Now, you’re gonna wake up or I swear I-” he says, slightly slapping him.
Buck is suddenly very awake and very aware of how close Eddie’s face is. They’re literally breathing the same air and he is suddenly very interested into analyzing every shade of brown of Eddie’s eyes.
He doesn’t even realize he’s smiling until his friend points it out.
“Why are you smiling? I’m freaking out here.”
“You’re beautiful.”
Eddie groans, huffs and starts to stand up to leave the bed and go downstairs to get a thermometer and something to help the fever go down, but Buck grabs his wrist, and for the first time he really looks at his big, blue eyes.
“Stay.”
“I’m coming back, Buck,” Eddie is saying before he even thinks, and out of mere muscle memory he cups his warm, pink cheek, gently caressing it with a thumb. As if, for all his life, Eddie’s hands were made to cradle Buck’s face.
They probably were.
And so Buck lets him go and true to his words, Eddie is back as soon as he gets all he needs, bringing everything with him upstairs.
He finds Buck curled up on his left side, extremely small, and slightly shivering. His heart breaks. He’s worried. Hen’s words did not placate his anxiety and just because he is now with Buck and not a text message away doesn’t mean that he feels better about his friend being ill.
It’s probably the same reason why he’s always on edge any time Christopher is sick, the same reason why he’d always switch places with him any time he’s suffering. It’s love. Plain and simple.
Anyway, he won’t dwell on that thought. He has a job to do and that is helping his best friend.
A bunch of minutes later, he has taken Buck’s temperature and given him some medicine. He expects the other man to fall asleep.
That’s why he’s pretty surprised when he feels a warm hand crawling up towards his leg.
He’s sitting next to Buck on the edge of the bed, looking at him with adoring eyes, as if he could make him feel better by just watching over him.
“I’m c- cold,” Buck shivers, teeth chattering, while he tries to find Eddie’s hand.
“You’ll feel better soon, I promise. Want another blanket?” Eddie is quick to ask, in a small voice, resisting the urge to caress Buck’s hair.
Buck shakes his head no, for a moment Eddie thinks he’s just fallen asleep, again, but then he talks again. “You,” he murmurs.
And Eddie’s heart does summersaults in his chest but as this is not the time to explore his love for Buck, he decides he’ll give the other man what he needs.
“Wanna cuddle?” so he asks, because they do that. It’s apparently part of their arrangement.
Friends with benefits probably do not cuddle, ever. But they’ve never really cared about rules and norms and such, have they?
So they enjoy each other’s company, if it’s playing video games with Chris or being curled up together under a blanket.
Buck nods and Eddie is immediately behind him, holding him, Buck’s back to his chest, their legs intertwined.
“Okay?” Eddie gently whispers some time later, but slightly chuckles, because Buck is asleep in a second.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he says, to the quiet room.
Except that it isn’t.
Buck wakes up two hours later and is throwing up. Eddie is there to hold his head up and rubbing his back while he whispers sweet nothings, hoping to make it better, while his friend heaves violently.
“I’m sorry,” is the first thing out of Buck’s mouth as soon as he manages to stand up again.
“What?”
“This is gross, you can go home, really,” Buck insists, before rinsing his mouth.
Eddie looks at him like he’s the biggest fool on Earth.
He probably is, if he doesn’t realize how loved he is.
“I’m not going anywhere except to your bed with you…” he says sternly. Then he thinks about it and “unless you want me on the couch, then I’ll go, but I’m not leaving this house,” he adds, probably ridiculously.
As if Buck could ever want him anywhere but next to him, around him.
And to make it clear, the taller man basically wraps himself around Eddie, face into his neck, arms around hips, full body weight completely given to Eddie, just to whisper “I always want you.”
Eddie has to ignore his own heart that threatens to break his rib cage and gently maneuvers them so that soon they’re again on the bed.
“Nope,” he says, though, as soon as Buck tries to fall asleep.
“What?”
“Drink this first.”
“I’ll throw up again.”
“Please.”
“Fine.”
Buck mumbles something Eddie doesn’t want to really know, pouts a little and then closes his eyes, forehead pressing against his shoulder.
He does throw up again. Exactly forty eight minutes later. Not that Eddie is counting, nope.
Eddie’s heart is breaking.
“You gotta drink, please,” he tries reasoning when they’re both back to Buck’s bedroom, even if he knows that if the roles were reversed, he’d be twice as stubborn.
Who enjoys throwing up, after all?
“Eddie.”
Buck’s eyes are closed even if he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. He doesn’t want to drink, he only wants to sleep, curled up next to his best friend, preferably.
“Buck, please, baby, you’re dehydrated,” Eddie says, in the tone he uses with patients on call, maybe.
“No, I don’t wanna throw up again,” he declares and so he turns his back to his friend, to hide under the covers.
Eddie frowns, is secretly and suddenly glad that his son is not in town because taking care of a sick Buck with his kid around would be complicated and decides to leave him be.
“Are you cold again?” he asks first, patting his shoulder.
Buck nods. Eyes still closed.
The other man sighs and heads downstairs, with a weight on his shoulders.
As soon as Buck feels that Eddie has left him alone, he gives himself the permission to cry.
He’s completely exhausted and every single muscle of his body feels sore and being curled up in Eddie’s arms has been good, great even, but he just feels too sick to even think straight so he does what he always does: he starts to cry.
He doesn’t even know why. Part of him probably feels alone. He simply is not used to being cared for, to have someone around when he’s not okay. He doesn’t remember the last time someone took care of him for something as simple as a fever. It probably was Maddie, what feels like ages ago. So, even if Eddie is all around him, hovering over him, even if he is just downstairs (Buck can hear him, he’s in the kitchen), even if Eddie’s smell has taken over his bed sheets, he can’t shake that lingering feeling of loneliness, of helplessness that has accompanied most of his life.
Also, he’s quite tired of feeling sore, of feeling congested, of his goddamn runny nose and his shaking and clammy hands. He’s fed up, so he cries.
What he hasn’t considered when he has started crying is that Eddie is a dad, he’s used to listening to every subdued, low-pitched noise and that he’s terribly, depressingly in love with him.
So it’s pretty inevitable that he finds his best friend at his bedside in a second.
Eddie looks like he has run a marathon and calm and collected at the same time but he has that crease between his eyebrows that normally Buck would find adorable and would want to smooth away, so he must just be worried sick about him.
Buck sniffs, tries to dry his eyes on his shoulder in an awkward way and “hey,” tries to say, voice terribly hoarse. But he fails to reassure Eddie that is beside him in a second, crouching down on the bed, close to him but still leaving him space.
It’s Eddie’s soft “hey, Buck, hey, it’s okay…” that makes him lose it completely.
He starts sobbing, trying to hide into the pillow, uselessly. Eddie’s affection, softness, care are almost cathartic, as if he were trying to heal wounds of which Buck wasn’t even aware.
Eddie starts to gently brush his hair, slightly scratching his scalp, while whispering reassurances that he hopes will help him.
Buck stops crying when Eddie’s lying down next to him, is cradling his face with his right hand and caressing his neck with the other one. “‘m sorry, sorry- I-” he sniffs.
“No, no, hey, no,” Eddie quickly interrupts.
“I’m tired, why do I feel like this?” the other man whines then, making him chuckle a bit.
The look Buck is receiving is nothing but fond but his fried, sick brain cannot actually comprehend, process that, so he just drops his head against Eddie’s chest and listens to the sound of his best friend’s voice straight out of his ribcage.
“It’s okay, baby, sleep,” he swears he hears, before succumbing to the sleep completely.
Eddie is sure his neck will hurt because of the weird position he is in, but nothing could convince him to move. During his slumber, Buck has moved so that now he’s resting on top of Eddie’s chest, with is forehead pressed against Eddie’s throat and his arms loosely hugging Eddie’s torso. Considering that he’s also warm due to the fever, his friend is not having the best time of his life, but, again, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for Buck, so.
He decides to wake Buck up when he hears him slightly moaning in his sleep, trying to shake his shoulders delicately.
“Babe.”
Eddie honestly doesn’t know what has gotten into him, he has never used pet names, not even during sex, and neither has Buck. They have basically done everything a couple can possibly think of doing, but they never reached the pet name stage, however there’s something about the way Buck is melting under his touch that doesn’t allow Eddie to call him in any other way.
“Eddie?” Buck groggily mutters.
“Yeah, it’s me, you’re okay,” Eddie reassures him immediately, going back to stroking his air.
Buck’s mind suddenly goes to Christopher, for reasons unknown. “Chris?”
Eddie leans against the headboard and brings his best friend with him, holding his weight until Buck is pressed flush against him with his head on his shoulder. “He’s at a camp, remember?” Eddie gently smiles.
Then Buck’s clammy hand finds Eddie stomach, underneath his hoodie and Eddie decides to let his guard down, so he lets his own head fall against Buck’s.
“You’re better, right?” he shyly mumbles, and just as shyly, “yeah…” Buck replies, without hesitation.
A soft press of lips against his temple soothes Buck, yet he stays present as Eddie keeps talking.
“I was so worried…”
“What? Why?” Buck grimaces, tries to shrug but is too wrapped up in his best friend’s arms to do so.
“Why? Because you stopped answering my texts and I-”
Eddie takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, braces himself for the worst, “I love you, and I don’t ever wanna be without you,” he confesses, lips still religiously pressed against Buck’s birthmark.
Buck softly gasps, but stays put, because he knows that the other man has more to say.
“And- and I- you-” Eddie chuckles, “God, I’m so pathetic, I kept thinking that you could be in trouble and I was stuck at work and Hen was trying to reassure me but I felt like I physically couldn’t breathe because you w-”
He is rambling, maybe a bit trembling, but he’s content with having Buck in his arms. Buck, however, is very calm, probably because of the running fever he has going on, or probably because it’s just Eddie. Eddie Diaz, the love of his life, his best friend. So Buck realizes that he must stop him before he spirals any further. He pulls back just to reach Eddie’s lips and kisses him.
It’s just one small peck, almost insignificant, if only it didn’t rock both their worlds.
Buck is smiling, his eyes slowly opening, looking up through his lashes, “all day I only wanted to be home, I only wanted you,” he shyly whispers, and moves to capture Eddie’s upper lip in another kiss, more tender than the other one.
“Home as in… your house, Eds.”
Eddie smiles coyly. “Yeah, I think I got that part.”
Buck jokingly shoves him but then falls right back on top of his chest, so Eddie starts caressing his back while his nose is pressed into Buck’s messy curls.
“I know that we agreed that we were just having fun, you know? We never- we- we just-”
Eddie can’t physically bring himself to say the words “we just had sex” because it was never just sex for him.
And apparently it wasn’t for Buck either, judging by the way he sits up in the middle of the bed, crossing his legs and ducking his head with an adorable blush on his cheeks.
“What?” Eddie wonders, “want to throw up again?”
Buck chuckles, “God, no.”
“I- I just never knew how to tell you.”
Eddie frowns. Pretty adorably, if you ask Buck. “Tell me what?”
“That I’ve been in love with you for so long that I don’t remember my life before?” Buck grimaces, ducking his head to try to hide his blush.
He is expecting every kind of reaction. What he is not expecting, though, is Eddie tackling him to the mattress.
They both start laughing like two kids and all of a sudden realization washes over Buck.
“I’ve spent all day wanting to go home, but then…” he starts saying, once they’re both panting from the laughter and the tickling — because Eddie can’t keep his hands to himself — “you were here, and I felt just fine, I was home.”
Eddie taps his chin with a finger and “if you don’t shut up right now, I’m gonna propose and I don’t wanna do it while you’re covered in snot and running a fever,” says sternly.
A nuclear explosion shakes Buck’s chest. He completely blacks out for a second or two, blankly stares at Eddie that immediately regrets his words, turning serious.
“What? Are you okay? I was-” he tries to backpedal but Buck cuts him off.
“Yes.”
“What?”
“I’d say yes.”
“Babe, you don’t know what you’re sa-” Eddie chuckles, suddenly embarrassed, but his friend — boyfriend? Fiancé? He doesn’t know — hugs him, out of the blue.
“I know very well what I’m saying, babe,” Buck teases, their foreheads now touching.
“I don’t deserve it, Buck…” Eddie mumbles, honestly, with one hand holding Buck’s side.
Buck shakes his head, “yes you do, you deserve everything and I’m gonna give it to you.”
Eddie smirks, “so you’re eating soup if I bring it to you?” he asks, hopeful.
Laughing echoes through the loft and Eddie decides he wants to hear the sound forever. But he also wants Buck to eat, so he keeps going.
“Buck.”
“You made soup?”
“I wouldn’t dare,” Eddie laughs. “Abuela did it for me, brought it over while you slept.”
Warmth blossoms in Buck’s chest, “you asked her to make soup? For me?” he asks, flabbergasted.
“I don’t know any other Evan Buckley.”
Eddie is joking, shrugging lightly, and Buck falls more and more in love with him.
That’s probably why he finds himself eating on the edge of the bed while Eddie plays with the hair at the nape of his neck.
“Can we go home, Eds?”
Buck looks infinitely small and Eddie wants nothing more than wrapping him up in bubble wrap so that no harm can ever reach him again.
“As soon as you’re feeling better, I promise I’m bringing you home and I’ll never let you leave,” so he promises, kissing his forehead.
Buck thinks about protesting, about saying that he is actually doing good enough to sit in Eddie’s car, but knows better. So he closes his eyes, basks into the sensation of Eddie’s lips on his forehead and lets his embrace lull him to sleep.
The next time he’ll wake up he will be ready to go home with his boyfriend.